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" My father-in-law made a cradle for our firstborn a very thoughtful gesture, but I was shocked at how large and heavy it was. I&amp;#039;ve tried to like it, as he worked so hard on it. But our kids quickly outgrew the cradle. Now it&amp;#039;s taking up lots of space in my son&amp;#039;s bedroom (he&amp;#039;s 6; our daughter is 9), and I have nowhere else to put it. How do I deal with this thing without offending my father-in-law or my husband, who knows it&amp;#039;s too big but gets annoyed when I mention it? C.D., 37, Mount Dora, FL Ordinarily I&amp;#039;m an advocate of what a counselor friend of mine calls &amp;quot;transparency&amp;quot;: It&amp;#039;s usually better to get problems out in the open, with clarity and tact. But in the interest of honoring your father-in-law&amp;#039;s care and effort, I&amp;#039;d let it be. It really was the thought that counted here, and the hurt feelings that would result from your chopping the thing up for firewood aren&amp;#039;t worth it. In a year or two, it&amp;#039;s going to make sense to move the cradle out of your son&amp;#039;s room, just as it&amp;#039;ll be time to ditch the Winnie the Pooh sheets. It&amp;#039;s the natural progression of things. When that day comes, let your father-in-law know that the cradle was put to good use but it&amp;#039;s time to retire it at least until you have grandchildren of your own. If you don&amp;#039;t have a garage or basement, maybe he does! In the meantime, play a little trick on yourself. Like most people, you probably have something in your house that needs to be moved or fixed, but instead it&amp;#039;s become part of the domestic landscape; you just don&amp;#039;t see those dangling wires or that scarred molding. Mentally put the cradle in the same category; before too long it&amp;#039;ll be gone for good and so will your kids&amp;#039; childhood. They&amp;#039;ll be pressing you for the car keys, and you&amp;#039;ll find yourself thinking fondly of that awful old cradle.  Award-winning writer Karen Karbo is the author of How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great. She&amp;#039;s also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner.  Need smart advice? Maybe your best friend is suddenly acting strangely. Or your parents or in-laws are making you nuts. Or your sister always takes your moms side in an argument, instead of yours. Whatevers bugging or perplexing you about your friends, brother, sister, parents, in-laws, husband, you name it REDBOOKs Karen Karbo has the smart advice you need. Email your questions, rants, and worries to her at karenkarbo@redbookmag.com and please include your initials, age, city and state. Letters may be edited for clarity and length. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/friends-family/q-and-a/a1590/toss-gift-hs/>