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" 1. Lalala just going to brunch with my boyfriend/meeting someone for work/going to a friend&amp;#039;s party/going for a walk in the park! I know exactly what I&amp;#039;m doing and what is happening in my life! 2. Ummm, why are you wearing a suit in an informal location and sweating profusely? It&amp;#039;s just brunch. Relax, dude. 3. Wait, no one&amp;#039;s here. 4. I was promised food and I&amp;#039;m feeling kind of hangry. You said we were meeting friends for brunch, but now there are no friends and there&amp;#039;s no brunch and you DON&amp;#039;T HAVE ANY ANSWERS. 5. Am I being formally broken up with? 6. Oh my god I&amp;#039;m being proposed to.  He&amp;#039;s fishing in his breast pocket and my life is changing forever and I&amp;#039;m still confused about the lack of brunch right now. 7. *Emotionally confused weeping.* 8. *Blacks out.* Good luck remembering a single word when everyone asks to hear his proposal speech later. 9. Sorry, what did you say? Oh, yes! Stay present. Respond. Put ring on finger. Smile. Hug. Kiss. 10. Let&amp;#039;s call everyone. My parents! Your parents! My sister! Your brother! My BFF from college! Everyone will know our love! 11. I&amp;#039;m starting to annoy myself. I&amp;#039;ve said the phrase, &amp;quot;So I turned around and he was on one knee and he said... &amp;quot; seven times in a row, verbatim. Am I an annoying bride already? I really don&amp;#039;t want to be an annoying bride. 12. OK, no more calls. We are the only two people in the world, and this is what Facebook&amp;#039;s for. *Changes status.* *Turns off phone.* *Throws phone into a fountain like Anne Hathaway at the end of The Devil Wears Prada.* 13. So this ring is mine now? And I wear it on public transit every day? Without a bodyguard? 14. How do people take those Pinteresty ring pics? Do I hold my hand in the air or put it on a table? Fingers together or separate? Wow, I never noticed that my fingers look like craggy witch fingers. 15. I should&amp;#039;ve gotten a manicure. Of course my left ring finger is the one that looks all chipped and shitty. Why couldn&amp;#039;t it have been you, right thumb? 16. Why do I look insane in all these Just Engaged selfies? Oh, because I&amp;#039;m grinning like the Cheshire goddamn cat instead of doing my perfectly rehearsed and controlled Picture Smile. 17. How do I tell my coworkers? It feels braggy to make a group announcement. Maybe I&amp;#039;ll just tell Lauren the Office Gossip in the bathroom and let her spread the good word. 18. So, uh, when should we get married? I suppose we actually have to figure that out now. Would you rather cram it all into five months during which we&amp;#039;ll be out of our minds with stress and wasting company time by spending entire days booking florists, or drag this thing out for a year and a half until we forget that we haven&amp;#039;t actually had the wedding yet? Yeah, me too. God, I love you. 19. Wait, let&amp;#039;s give it a day to enjoy being engaged. I guess I don&amp;#039;t have to buy everything in the wedding ads all over my Facebook right this second. 20. But we should really start looking into venues. Jessica&amp;#039;s older sister told me the good ones book out a year in advance and Jessica&amp;#039;s older sister has been married thrice so she should know. 21. I will stop staring at my hand. No, I won&amp;#039;t. Follow Cosmopolitan on Twitter. Photo credit: Getty Images "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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