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"If you&amp;#039;re in marriage counseling, chances are you and your husband are doing most of the talking. But thanks to years of experience, your therapist has plenty of advice that she&amp;#039;d like to share with you, too. Read on to get expert insight on making the most of your sessions. 1. I can tell pretty quickly if your marriage is going to last. &amp;quot;Within a few sessions I can generally make an educated guess about the future of your relationship,&amp;quot; says Bree Maresca-Kramer, relationship counselor and author of It&amp;#039;s That Simple! &amp;quot;A clear sign that it won&amp;#039;t: One or both of you has emotionally checked out and is unwilling to take any responsibility for your problems.&amp;quot; 2. If you want a pity party, go elsewhere. &amp;quot;Women are always surprised that I don&amp;#039;t seem outraged or upset by what they&amp;#039;re telling me,&amp;quot; says Joyce Morley, EdD, a marriage and family therapist in Decatur, Georgia. &amp;quot;While I understand your feelings, I&amp;#039;m not going to sit here and cry with you. It&amp;#039;s not my job to be emotional. It&amp;#039;s my job to help make your marriage better.&amp;quot; 3. Learn to listen. &amp;quot;Women can be so focused on trying to win that they forget to listen\u2014that&amp;#039;s one of the biggest problems couples bring to therapy,&amp;quot; says Dr. Morley. &amp;quot;Women typically can&amp;#039;t stop talking until they feel they&amp;#039;ve proved their point. But men see counseling as an opportunity to finally speak. And when they do, wives are often shocked to hear what they have to say.&amp;quot; 4. Give yourself a break. &amp;quot;Men don&amp;#039;t beat themselves up nearly as much as women do when they&amp;#039;ve done something wrong in a relationship,&amp;quot; says Dr. Morley. &amp;quot;So if you&amp;#039;ve messed up, accept responsibility and then quit kicking yourself over it.&amp;quot; 5. Go ahead, argue. &amp;quot;It allows me to see the real dynamic between the two of you,&amp;quot; says Maresca-Kramer. &amp;quot;I can then use that fight to help you gain a better understanding of each other&amp;#039;s feelings.&amp;quot; 6. Let go of the past. &amp;quot;In an argument, stick to the topic at hand,&amp;quot; says Michelle, a relationship counselor in St. Louis. &amp;quot;When you bring up stuff your husband did months, even years ago, I just want to say, &amp;#039;Let it go already!&amp;#039; You have to get over your past anger because forgiveness means moving on.&amp;quot; 7. I&amp;#039;m not here to give you the answers. &amp;quot;A therapist will never tell you what to do,&amp;quot; says Maresca-Kramer. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s counterproductive. You&amp;#039;ll just become dependent on us instead of learning to make decisions for yourself.&amp;quot; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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