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" Here&amp;#039;s the problem with conventional wisdom: You&amp;#039;re not conventional, and neither are the situations you&amp;#039;re facing these days. So Cosmo collected a set of modern guidelines perfect for a brazen 21st-century babe like yourself. 1. You No Longer Need a Five-Year Plan It used to be that people were encouraged to set a strict time line for achieving milestones: dream job by 25, married by 27, first kid by 30. Thankfully, you no longer have to map out contentment in advance. &amp;quot;Committing because you&amp;#039;re supposed to \u2014 whether it&amp;#039;s saying I do or sticking it out at a soulless job \u2014 prevents you from seeking situations that make you happy,&amp;quot; says life coach Valorie Burton. Plus, you don&amp;#039;t want to be so locked into a game plan that you can&amp;#039;t grab a fabulous opportunity that comes out of the blue. Another factor: Since it&amp;#039;s now acceptable to delay marriage, have kids later, and job-hop, it&amp;#039;s to your benefit to adopt a fluid approach to planning your future. Your strategy then? &amp;quot;Reevaluate your path every six months, then tweak your goals if necessary,&amp;quot; says career strategist Cynthia Shapiro, author of What Does Somebody Have to Do to Get a Job Around Here? 2. It&amp;#039;s Possible to Turn a Hookup into a Real Relationship Believe it or not, your 2 a.m. booty call could become your boyfriend. People are so busy with their careers, they don&amp;#039;t have the time or patience to court for months before finding out if they click physically, so they test the waters, says Kathleen A. Bogle, PhD, author of Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus. But to convert an FWB into a BF, let it be known after the first two hookups that you want more than a fling. Guys may just need a nudge to take it to the next level. &amp;quot;If he has a steady job and friends who are coupling up, there&amp;#039;s a good chance he&amp;#039;s relationship-ready,&amp;quot; says Bogle. And don&amp;#039;t underestimate young dudes: Research from the State University of New York at Oswego found that college guys may prefer relationships to one-night stands.  3. Your Family Doesn&amp;#039;t Have to Be the Most Important Thing Not everyone is born into a nurturing clan. If yours is more toxic than tight-knit, don&amp;#039;t feel guilty about establishing a surrogate family of friends. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s now common for women who have acrimonious relationships with their parents or live across the country from them to create familylike bonds with roommates, coworkers, and friends,&amp;quot; says Cheryl Dellasega, PhD, author of Forced to Be Family. &amp;quot;It can be easier to be open with nonblood relatives, which may lead to more intimate connections.&amp;quot; 4. Mixing Business and Pleasure Is Wise Not so long ago, dating a coworker was considered career suicide. But companies have realized that interoffice dating actually increases productivity by as much as 20 percent, so many have loosened policies against it, provided it&amp;#039;s not a boss/ subordinate situation. The fact is, at least 50 percent of workers have dated a fellow employee, and 25 percent of them \u2014 including Barack and Michelle Obama \u2014 have married. &amp;quot;When you get to know a coworker, you see past superficial stuff, like height, that would be a red flag to you online or at a bar,&amp;quot; says Stephanie Losee, coauthor of Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding \u2014 and Managing \u2014 Romance on the Job. &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re also bound to be intellectually compatible and have a built-in level of respect.&amp;quot; 5. You Can Run from Your Problems After a devastating breakup, you dream of escaping to Italy to drown your sorrows in gnocchi and gelato. Well, experts have one word for you: arrivederci. &amp;quot;Women think they have to stay and ruminate over a problem to fix it, but that increases anxiety and depression,&amp;quot; says Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, PhD, professor of psychology at Yale University and author of Women Who Think Too Much. Taking a time-out to refocus after an unpleasant event \u2014 even if it&amp;#039;s just going to stay with a friend in Miami for a few weeks \u2014 can be an option. &amp;quot;A change of scenery may help you objectively choose the next best course of action,&amp;quot; says clinical psychologist Renee Gilbert, PhD.  6. Short Hair Is Not a Job Requirement To reach the top of your profession, you used to need two things: a stellar r\u00E9sum\u00E9 and a Hillary Clinton\u2013style crop. Thankfully, influential businesswomen like Oprah Winfrey have shown that you can have great success and great hair. &amp;quot;Major companies now realize that a woman doesn&amp;#039;t have to be masculine to be powerful,&amp;quot; says corporate image consultant Sherry Maysonave, author of Casual Power. In fact, beauty and fashion sense can be assets. &amp;quot;Women who wear makeup earn 20 to 30 percent more income,&amp;quot; adds Maysonave. &amp;quot;If showing femininity builds confidence, it&amp;#039;s a plus.&amp;quot; 7. Stay-at-Home Dads Are Catches, Not Lazy Asses With 25 percent of chicks outearning their spouses and childcare costs skyrocketing, nearly 2 million men have chosen to stay home and raise the kids. &amp;quot;Many young guys saw their moms work growing up, so they respect a successful woman and don&amp;#039;t assume that the man has to be the breadwinner,&amp;quot; says Aaron Rochlen, PhD, associate professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. A guy who&amp;#039;s willing to stay home is likely supportive, able to compromise, and comfortable with his masculinity \u2014 all great qualities in a partner. This setup works best when the wife also has progressive ideas about gender equality and allows the husband to control some aspects of the household so there is an equal division of power, says Melissa Milkie, PhD, coauthor of Changing Rhythms of American Family Life. 8. You Don&amp;#039;t Have to Grow Up and Buy a House Already Once upon a time, adults who rented were dismissed as Peter Pans with negative cash flow. But given the current mortgage crisis, in some cases, it may be smarter to rent. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s a misconception that real estate is an investment guaranteed to make money,&amp;quot; says Robert Shiller, professor of economics at Yale University and author of The Subprime Solution. At present, it could be shrewder to rent until the market rebounds. &amp;quot;You may make more in the long run by putting cash you&amp;#039;d pay in interest on a home loan, property taxes, and repairs into investments like T-bills or inflation-indexed bonds,&amp;quot; explains Shiller. 9. A Relationship Can Survive After One Person Cheats Cheaters are cruel, selfish, and narcissistic, right? Well, 15 to 20 percent are, says psychologist Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs, but the rest are well-meaning if imperfect people who love their partner but made a stupid mistake. What&amp;#039;s more, an indiscretion can sometimes draw a duo closer together. &amp;quot;For some couples, it takes a bomb going off to get them to address their problems,&amp;quot; says Kirshenbaum. So if the cheater is deeply apologetic and committed to working to improve the relationship, it can be salvaged. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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