<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"  Dolls, here&amp;#039;s your Annual Ask Eeee Guide to Personal Style, a Dilemma Manual spotlighting: social correspondence (how to compose a condolence note to that socialite whose husband was the boss with whom you accidentally had the throbbing affair); gifts (what to do when a man presents you with an erection); status climbing (when you are looking up at your chihuahua, you may be lying on the sidewalk); and more...   Which Type of Gentleman Is Most Proper?Dear E. Jean: I&amp;#039;m torn between two men: Guy No. 1 is honest, open, easy, sweet, stable, and steady as a rock. He can be a bit drab. Guy No. 2 is gregarious and exciting, but he&amp;#039;s had a lot of girlfriends and plays the drama king. Common sense should tell me Guy No. 1 is the best choice, but I crave the thrills of Guy No. 2, even though he frustrates and hurts me. I&amp;#039;m 33 and so confused I&amp;#039;m considering moving to a remote tropical island, opening a beachside bar, and giving up men altogether!\u2014Ready to Board a Plane for the Bahamas Bahamas, my blossom : Both Bad Boy and Basic Boy\u2014classic choices!\u2014are correct for all occasions. Accessorizing with Bad Boy (Guy No. 2) will give you a ravishing, tousled look (all the sex), but after several wearings you&amp;#039;ll appear puffy (all the crying), doughy (all the vodka), and exhausted (all the spying to see whom he&amp;#039;s gonna bang next). If you wish to look happy, loved, and respected, then go with Guy No. 1. His zipper will stay up. The latest research, as reported in New Scientist, confirms two facts you probably already know: (1) Bad boys get the most girls\u2014duh. Studies conducted separately by Peter Jonason at New Mexico State University and David Schmitt at Bradley University in Illinois say that being a callous, deceitful, narcissistic cad can be a superb evolutionary strategy: i.e., Bad Boys father more babies. (2) Ergo, you won&amp;#039;t follow my advice.   How Do I Tell the Widow I Dug Her Husband?Dear E. Jean:  An etiquette question: I&amp;#039;m married. I had an affair with my ex-boss. My husband confronted my ex-boss&amp;#039;s wife with the facts. She&amp;#039;s a high-society woman (and a psychotherapist) and advised him to leave it alone. My ex-boss just died. I want to be respectful and do the right thing, but this is pretty sticky. Should I send her a note of condolence?\u2014The Ex-Lover Madame Ex : No. You&amp;#039;ve done your part. You comforted the deceased by permitting him to donate his organ to you before he died.  E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com  When Is It Polite to Strangle My Friend?Dear E. Jean: I&amp;#039;m not the richest or most glamorous girl on the block. I&amp;#039;m not able to buy whatever I please on a whim, such as the Jimmy Choo bag I&amp;#039;ve been saving for, but I dress stylishly and receive lots of compliments. My best friend, whom I adore, means well, but she can drive me insane when she thrusts in my face the latest Gucci wallet she just bought. It causes me to feel inferior and to envy what she has. Not only that, I start to feel really competitive, and this puts a strain on our friendship. What can I do to fix this without going on a shopping spree that will put me in debt?\u2014Trying to Chill Chill, my charmer : Oh, please. I once rolled with the hautest of the haut monde\u2014the Ennis Montana Ladies Side Saddle Club, and hunny, you haven&amp;#039;t lived till you&amp;#039;ve been cut dead by a pig farmer&amp;#039;s wife dressed like Queen Elizabeth II astride an old barrel horse. Did I feel &amp;quot;inferior&amp;quot; because I possessed not one item of a riding habit? Yes. Did I feel &amp;quot;competitive&amp;quot; because I actually had no idea how to ride sidesaddle? Yes. Did I feel &amp;quot;strained&amp;quot; because my apple pie sucked at the Side Saddle Club Tea, and I did not provide the ladies with amusing little napkins that I embroidered myself? Yes. Yes. Yes.  And then one day, I arrived at the ring and blew them all off the landscape. How? I washed my horse&amp;#039;s mane and tail in Farrah Fawcett Shampoo. Here&amp;#039;s what happened: The mare looked better\u2014no exaggeration\u2014than the official Montana entry in the Miss America Pageant. The effect? The adrenaline levels of the ladies of the Ennis Side Saddle Club were pushed so high, every one of them competed more brilliantly in the exhibition. Friends are supposed to feel competitive, Miss Chill. It spurs (ha!) you to greater achievement\u2014not just for yourselves alone, but for future generations. It&amp;#039;s how the human race advances. It makes a better world. If you don&amp;#039;t &amp;quot;die a little,&amp;quot; as Gore Vidal says, &amp;quot;every time a friend succeeds,&amp;quot; then you&amp;#039;re dead already. Acknowledge to your friend that the Gucci wallet &amp;quot;drives you insane,&amp;quot; wish her many more wallets stuffed with everything she desires, and then, with a chuckle, leave her in your dust. Good luck!   Must I Go Through Life With the Family I Was Born Into?Dear E. Jean: Two weeks ago, I received an invitation on Facebook to become friends with my mom. I am 23 years old; I recently graduated from college and moved 400 miles from home. I have nothing to hide from her, but she&amp;#039;s the kind of person who will try to add my friends as hers. She&amp;#039;s already added three of them, and it makes me so mad! Since I didn&amp;#039;t add her, she hasn&amp;#039;t spoken to me. What do I do?\u2014Frustrated in Florida Florida : Oh, stop being such a self-centered little twit. Everybody and their mother is on Facebook. And if the woman who diapered your dorsal region happens to be in advertising, news media, television, publishing, theater, fashion, public relations, the movies, or the online industry, it&amp;#039;s just as important that shelook good to her friends on Facebook as you do to yours. Be nice, or Auntie Eeee will send you a friend request you&amp;#039;ll not soon forget. E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com  Can I Wallow My Way to Worldwide Fame?Dear E. Jean: My twin sister&amp;#039;s in med school (which she&amp;#039;s planned to do since third grade); her boyfriend is prepping to be an astronaut\u2014for real!\u2014and my best friend is the perfect picture of the happy second-grade teacher. Me? I&amp;#039;m closing in on Year One in my first &amp;quot;real&amp;quot; job after graduating with a liberal arts degree, and I&amp;#039;m sick of answering phones, organizing papers, and going nowhere. I am 24, live in DC, and know exactly what I want when it comes to clothes, shoes, and decorating my apartment. But when it comes to my career? I wallow. I&amp;#039;m smart, super outgoing (I&amp;#039;ll try anything twice), and a hard worker. How do I find direction? I don&amp;#039;t even know where to start.\u2014Anywhere but Here Any, my scrumptious half-wit : Are you kidding? The well-bred young lady always insists on &amp;quot;answering phones.&amp;quot; This gives you a chance to chat up callers, hear industry rumors, toot your own horn, take credit for your coworkers&amp;#039; projects, and so forth. When you&amp;#039;re not on the phone, embrace the Wallow: What stinks about your company? Why isn&amp;#039;t it hot? Think of three clever ideas to make it more of a go-go proposition, ideas that will increase the bottom line. Set an appointment with your CEO, present the ideas, and volunteer to get the best off the ground. If this doesn&amp;#039;t make you excited about your job\u2014and, frankly, just havinga job in today&amp;#039;s economy should make you pretty excited\u2014set up informational interviews in other industries; go to free stuff (conferences, expos, gatherings where you&amp;#039;ll meet people who might jump-start your brain); return to your college and take a career assessment test (low cost for alumnae); or see a private career counselor (choose one at Ncda.org). If all else fails, get your own reality show! Everybody else does.   Kissing EtiquetteDear E. Jean:  My wonderful boyfriend of two years loves my two young children, and they call him Daddy. He also has a close relationship with his own family, particularly his older sister. I&amp;#039;ve met her and like her. What I don&amp;#039;t like is the way they kiss: on the lips! It grosses me out to see a brother and sister kiss like that! Should siblings kiss each other on the lips? After I saw it, I wouldn&amp;#039;t let him kiss me on the mouth for days. His whole family kisses like that.\u2014Grossed-Out Girlfriend Grossed, my girl: Marry him! Men who are close with their own families make excellent husbands and fathers. As for the brother-sister smooch? Each family has kissing peculiarities of its own. Madonna&amp;#039;s brother, for instance, is so close to her, he&amp;#039;s been instructed to kiss her on a place reserved for him alone.   My Friend Is Having a Child. Isn&amp;#039;t This Rude?Dear E. Jean:  I don&amp;#039;t know if I&amp;#039;ll ever have kids, but one of my dearest friends is pregnant. She may be having a girl, and the name she&amp;#039;s chosen is Isabel. That&amp;#039;s the name I&amp;#039;ve always wanted if I were to have a baby girl! I&amp;#039;m distraught!\u2014Tormented Tormented, hunny : Run, get your binoculars. Go outside. Look up. Good. See the one billion stars in our Milky Way galaxy? You do? Excellent. Now look through the Hubble Space Telescope. See the 400 billion galaxies beyond our Milky Way? Fine. Now look at the billions of stars in each of those 400 billion galaxies\u2014very good. If you would now just adjust the lens...that&amp;#039;s right...you&amp;#039;ll see something amazing: Amid the trillions of planets orbiting the billions of stars in the billions of galaxies, you may\u2014if you look quite, quite closely\u2014just see room for two little girls named Isabel.  E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/q-and-a/a9244/ask-e-jean-october-2008-19605/>