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"  DEAR E. JEAN: My boyfriend of two years, who has been chubby most of his life, has an incredibly hostile attitude toward overweight women. He makes rude comments when they&amp;#039;re out of earshot. I&amp;#039;ve spoken to him about it many times, but to no avail. I&amp;#039;m 5&amp;#039;7&amp;quot; and a healthy 133 pounds. I suffered from anorexia in high school and am extremely sensitive about my appearance. He tells me I&amp;#039;m pretty, but recently he said he&amp;#039;d be hitting the gym before our vacation because &amp;quot;we&amp;#039;re going to be the fattest people on the beach.&amp;quot; Key word: we&amp;#039;re. I was very upset. He apologized. But when we were on vacation, I mentioned a &amp;quot;half-pound cookie&amp;quot; I saw on the menu, and I swear he said under his breath, &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s the last thing you need.&amp;quot; I was so hurt. He&amp;#039;s starting to talk marriage. Should I hang on or move on?\u2014Uneasy &amp;amp;amp; Undecided Un, hunny: I&amp;#039;ve said it 200 times: Men can change. Even your own Mr. Shallow Hal. But I don&amp;#039;t see any to-ing and fro-ing in your letter, no &amp;quot;I love him buts,&amp;quot; not a syllable of tenderness. However, if you do have a scrap of affection for him remaining, I suggest two things: Call him out on his judgmental\u2014not to mention hypocritical\u2014idiocy, or see a couples therapist. But I warn you about the latter: This may be the most difficult of all types of analysis, not merely because it&amp;#039;s hideously painful exploring love (and weight), and not because things can explode in tears and screams in the first 23 seconds of a session, but because most therapists are lousy at it. Make certain you choose one who specializes in couples (get a recommendation from happy friends and/or do telephone interviews) and who will provide the skills necessary to make good changes. Related: Ask E. Jean: The Evolution of Wooing Related: Ask E. Jean: The Rules of Texting Related: Ask E. Jean: I Want A Divorce But My Husband Refuses "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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