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"You&amp;amp;#8217;ve got the ring (yay!). Now you want a wedding. One issue: Your man is dragging his (cold?) feet. If he didn&amp;amp;#8217;t want love and marriage, he wouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t have proposed, right? Probably, so here&amp;amp;#8217;s how to turn your guy into a groom. Start the conversation. Even though guys and gals play equal roles in love and marriage, many men think of weddings as women&amp;amp;#8217;s domain, so they wait for you to get the planning party started. If you&amp;amp;#8217;ve tried talking weddings with him and he freezes up or, worse, changes the conversation, try this: &amp;amp;#8220;I&amp;amp;#8217;d like to discuss wedding planning with you. Do you want to talk now or tomorrow?&amp;amp;#8221; This is reasonable because if he&amp;amp;#8217;s not up for it at the moment, he has a full day to mentally prepare (and it works on Paul&amp;amp;#133;usually). Just don&amp;amp;#8217;t accept any excuses if he tries to back out of the chat the next day. Tell him what you want. Explain that when he proposed, you were hoping you would get married next year (or whenever you were hoping for). No need to overwhelm him with wedding details during this initial talk, but you can tell him, briefly, about the kind of wedding you&amp;amp;#8217;re envisioning: &amp;amp;#8220;An outdoor daytime wedding in the summer,&amp;amp;#8221; for instance. Get him to tell you what he wants. After you&amp;amp;#8217;ve gone through your hopes for love and marriage (or at least your wedding day, anyway), ask him to explain what he&amp;amp;#8217;s looking for. If he&amp;amp;#8217;s quiet, ask some questions to get him talking: &amp;amp;#8220;When would you like to get married?&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8220;If you&amp;amp;#8217;re not sure, would you be opposed to my proposed timeline?&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8220;Are there any things you absolutely don&amp;amp;#8217;t want for your wedding? Anything you must have?&amp;amp;#8221; Find out what the holdup is. If your suggested wedding date is too soon for him, hear him out on why. For Paul, he was afraid we&amp;amp;#8217;d be too stressed out and too poor if we only had a year to plan our wedding, so we agreed to have a two-year-long engagement (love and marriage are all about compromise, baby!). More than likely, your guy is freaked out about wedding planning. Who could blame him? If my only experience with brides was from what I&amp;amp;#8217;d seen on &amp;amp;#8220;Bridezillas,&amp;amp;#8221; I&amp;amp;#8217;d be hesitant to plan things for sooner rather than later. Ease his mind. Whatever his fear (and it usually is fear that&amp;amp;#8217;s keeping your guy from committing to a date, even though committing to you was easy), address it. Don&amp;amp;#8217;t tell him he&amp;amp;#8217;s being silly, but do point out why he doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t need to be afraid. For instance, if he thinks his life will revolve around meeting with vendors, explain that most of that research can be done online (and if you don&amp;amp;#8217;t mind, offer to take on the lion&amp;amp;#8217;s share of it). If he&amp;amp;#8217;s afraid your relationship will change once you&amp;amp;#8217;re married, tell him that it might (it didn&amp;amp;#8217;t for me and Paul, really), but you&amp;amp;#8217;ll both still be the same people, and the whole reason he proposed was because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Is your fiance reluctant to set a date? Why do you think he&amp;amp;#8217;s procrastinating? How are you getting him to move toward marriage? More About Love and Marriage and Men How to Get Your Groom Involved in Wedding Planning Why Guys in Long-Term Relationships Haven&amp;amp;#8217;t Proposed 6 Things You Absolutely MUST Know About Each Other Before You Get Engaged More Ways to Get Glamour Visit Shopglamour.com for cute stuff starting at just $10! Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! Follow us on Twitter Add us to your iGoogle homepage Photo: George Doyle"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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