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" Question My boyfriend is now my ex-boyfriend for several good reasons, two of which are his masturbation habits/history and his selfish, boring love-making. Sex with him did not excite me. He has terribly low self-esteem so he can not take criticism of any sort, nor can he communicate any more.  The final straw was when he told me how much he masturbated &amp;amp;#8211; during a conversation about how we didn&amp;#039;t have enough sex. I would like some advice as to my reaction, and if he should seek some sort of help, and frankly, if I should care at all.  I agreed with him that we were not having enough sex, because he showed me no respect, and he would hint at every chance he got that he wanted it. This would annoy me, and make me even less sexually interested in him. Then he would say: &amp;amp;#8216;After all, you&amp;#039;re talking to someone who used to blow themselves two to three times per day.&amp;#039;  I found that disgusting, but my response was, &amp;#039;You are dealing with a human being now, namely me, and I cannot satisfy that sort of need you have created for yourself.&amp;#039; He is actually 40, and has a full-time job. I think it is positively disgusting that a person his age has enough time to sit around and wank that often, aside from the lack of self-control it represents to me, which is obvious in every other aspect of his life: for instance, he eats far too much and is overweight.  I considered this level of self-pleasure a sign of yet another of his insatiable, uncontrollable selfish needs to fulfill, and no matter how much sex he got, I thought it would never be enough, nor would it be enjoyable for me.  I told him a few nights later, after we broke up, that I considered pleasuring himself that much to be abnormal, and perhaps even bordering on perverse.  Am I totally over-reacting here? And does it matter? I don&amp;#039;t love him or want to be with him any more, but I do want to understand what this behaviour means - is it selfish, sick or otherwise?  And by the way, if there is a non-selfish male lover out there, I&amp;#039;ve never met one. I&amp;#039;m sticking to being single &amp;amp;#8211; and I don&amp;#039;t feel the need to pleasure myself that much.  I have too many other things to do &amp;amp;#8211; and too much self-respect to lie around in bed wanking all day long.   Answer David writes: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! It&amp;#039;s quite obvious that this very angry relationship is now over.  So really your views about male masturbation are now a bit irrelevant. Statistics show that quite a lot of men do masturbate several times a day. But they are mostly younger males. Not a lot of guys of 40 would have the time or the energy to do it three times in a day. However, some do.  But your anger about your ex-partner&amp;#039;s sex drive is now totally pointless. I suggest you forget him. Christine adds: I agree with David. I think your ex is unusual in having a demanding full-time job &amp;amp;#8211; and still being able to masturbate as much as he does.  However, my main concern is just how angry you are. And I do think that you might need help with this anger if you are to go on to have a loving, fulfilling relationship elsewhere.  Or even if you continue to live a single life, which you are insisting you want to do right now.  My best suggestion would be that you book yourself in for a couple of sessions with a Brook counsellor &amp;amp;#8211; to talk about relationships in general, and about how disappointing and hurtful this past relationship has been.  You may also find it helpful to lean on your girlfriends at this difficult time &amp;amp;#8211; and maybe even to confide in them about your hurt and anger over this past relationship.  Often our friends see &amp;amp;#8211; or have seen &amp;amp;#8211; far more than we imagine. And their thoughts and observations can often be really helpful.  Best wishes. Yours sincerely Dr David Delvin, GP, and Christine Webber, sex and relationships expert   Other Qs &amp;amp; As Anal masturbation How can I make my wife masturbate? I caught my husband masturbating in the shower I touch myself in my sleep I&amp;#039;m obsessed with my husband&amp;#039;s masturbation Is frequent masturbation wrong? My boyfriend has never masturbated and has no sexual experience My boyfriend prefers to masturbate   Last updated 08.05.2012 "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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