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"  As I said yesterday, I recently went to see Kin \u2014 a new play about how a young couple&amp;#039;s love for each other helps them and their family members to find new ways of interacting with one another. As I said, the drama starts with a very funny break-up speech, delivered by a douchey young professor (who could almost be a character in a Jonathan Franzen novel) named Simon who&amp;#039;s a little too smart and verbal for anyone&amp;#039;s good. As he lets his lover, Anna, know that she is now his ex-lover as awkwardly and selfishly as possible, he attempts to excuse his oafish behavior by saying he&amp;#039;s just trying to be honest \u2014 but he doesn&amp;#039;t know what kind of person he&amp;#039;s looking for, except that it&amp;#039;s not her kind.  Then he goes on to say: &amp;quot;Can&amp;#039;t you just feel it? There&amp;#039;s something dead here. The light&amp;#039;s gone out. And if the light&amp;#039;s gone out then put out the light. Or maybe not. I don&amp;#039;t know ... we could try to ignite it. But love shouldn&amp;#039;t be so much effort. Or maybe it should.&amp;quot; Should it be, or shouldn&amp;#039;t it be? That question has come up a lot over the years, among my friends and me. My take is that every once in a while, yes, you need to put some extra energy into doing something you don&amp;#039;t want to do to make your partner happy. Every now and then, you need to discipline yourself to change a habit to make the relationship smoother. Sometimes, you need to work out a long-standing disagreement that&amp;#039;s started to cause serious  relationship problems, or find a way to get through some life changes that are stressing the relationship.  But I don&amp;#039;t think a relationship should be all work, all the time, particularly not in the beginning stages \u2014 and if it is, well, I don&amp;#039;t know what kind of person you should be looking for, but maybe you should look for another one. (And as I see it, the play goes on to more or less back me up on that.) I&amp;#039;ll leave you with a little more from Simon, who goes on to say to Anna: &amp;quot;Are you going to make this hard on me? Don&amp;#039;t. Please don&amp;#039;t. This is just human relationships. I wrote a poem once. When I was in my thirties and I still wrote poetry. And I compared a woman&amp;#039;s vagina to a revolving door. People come in. They go out. That&amp;#039;s life. And you know what my simile for the penis was? A staple gun. In an office. Punch, punch, punch. Revolve, revolve, revolve. That is life. That is the f*cking monotony of searching for your soulmate.&amp;quot; What a way with words, huh? "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a11787/love-is-hard-work/>