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"FacebookPinterest\n\n Jeff: Am I wrong to think that the Giants receivers will probably melt the Patriots secondary?\n\n David: If you are wrong to think that, I am also wrong.\n\n Jeff: Surely this is in 9,000 other media outlets \"keys to the game,\" no?\n\n David: I imagine so. But this is actually an interesting game. We'll get to the Steve Weatherford fan fiction later. Also, the Patriots are the worst defense, in terms of yards per game, ever to make it to the Super Bowl. So this is sort of a thing to talk about.\n\n Jeff: I imagine Hakeem Nicks getting a TD in the first quarter. If he doesn't, then there will be problems.\n\n David: This, by the way, is not how you say Kyle Arrington's name:\n\n\n\n Jeff: This is genius. The Zoltan Mesko one is great.\n\n\n\n David: I interviewed him for The Classical. He's a maybe-crazy person in Winnipeg, but he's doing great work.\n\n Jeff: I still have no idea about Gronkowski. My hunch is he will play at about 80% strength and be fine.\n\n Jeff: I did think that New York Post thing about a private e-mail Gisele sent to family members about praying for Tom Brady to do well was a little bizarre. When your company has been in trouble for hacking celebs' and dead kids' voicemails, I don't know if it's such a good look to say \"check out this e-mail that was not sent to us, and has nothing to do with anything illegal or any military or terror operations.\"\n\n David: It would definitely be a bad look if anyone at the Post had any idea what that means or didn't take it as a compliment. When they changed the paper's motto to \"Shocking the Conscience, Sneer-Leering at Famous Breasts, and New York's Most Undermedicated Sports Section,\" that kind of said it all for me.\n\n Jeff: The reporter called it disgusting, which is a weird stance for the Post. If Eli Manning's wife did it, they'd be championing her values.\n\n David: Oh, I don't know. I think \"disgusting\" is a perfectly reasonable way to describe a sappy private e-mail that a model wrote about her husband, which was obtained in an opaque way, and which relates to a football game. Has Andrea Peyser weighed in on it? Did she somehow tie it to the Ground Zero Mosque?\n\n Jeff: Runner-up for Mayor of Doucheville goes to Colts owner Jim Irsay, who earlier said this was not the week to talk about Peyton Manning stuff. Then a doctor's report leaked that said Manning was fine. So maybe the politicking continued from Peyton's camp. Still, Irsay, should have held comment until after the Super Bowl. Tweeting last night/early a.m. that Peyton has not passed the Colts physical just stirs a pot no one wants to eat from right now.&amp;amp;#xC2; \n\n David: Irsay is the greatest. All sunburn, meticulous goatee and hilariously unearned confidence, that guy. I imagine him watching tapes of James Dolan's vanity-blues project performances in the same way that Jon Gruden watches game tape. Looking for things he can incorporate into his own game, be it a mock turtleneck, or weird posture in interviews, or something as simple as always seeming amused at how manifestly correct he is. Always working on getting better is the Jim Irsay way.\n\n Jeff: No idea why he tweeted that beyond wanting attention. Most of the media is concentrating on turning out \"Madonna ready for half-time show\" stories today. What is the alternative? \"She is NOT ready! None of her shit is even here. Does anyone have a FedEx account she can use? At this point I don't think it is going to happen!\"\n\n David: \"Because Madonna eats her weight in gold leaf and soba noodles every day, some insiders are concerned about whether they'll be able to find the right type of noodle in metro Indianapolis. There are also concerns that Madonna will choose to perform only 'This Used To Be My Playground' and 'Erotica,' then dedicate them to 'all the brave freedom fighters standing up for their beliefs against America's armed forces abroad.' \"\n\n Jeff: Now take our interactive poll. What songs should she do? Click through 21 slides and cast your vote!\n\n David: Also: should she still be married to Sean Penn? The options on who she should be married to are:\n\n 1) Mike Vrabel\n\n 2) Sean Penn\n\n 3) James O'Keefe III\n\n 4) Other/Write-In/Bart Scott\n\n Jeff: Danny Woodhead, who I think will do something surprising on Sunday. It will come down to how he was able to catch 14 screens and score twice. I am going to keep randomly picking players like this and eventually that storyline will emerge and I will look like I am smart.\n\n Jeff: Without paying much attention at all, I've heard 14 times that NBC has over 60 miles of cables running through Lucas Oil Stadium. Peyton Manning wanted to help with that, but his neck prevented it.\n\n David: The annual Super Bowl numbers-dump story. I've written them, and they're terrible. \"Tostitos estimates that enough corn chips will be consumed on Super Bowl Sunday to make the entire world feel super thirsty and kind of weirdly shiny. Additionally, 6,750 tons of avocados will be consumed, comprising a full one-seventh of the nation's seven-layer-dip intake.\" I wish we got the press releases touting those things.\n\n David: Like from the American Packaged Chili Council and Advocacy Board, pointing out that \"It will be CHILI AT GAME TIME (tm) (patent pending), no matter where you watch the big game!\" For immediate release. The chili council should hire Rob Ryan as a spokesperson and grand marshal.\n\n Jeff: Did you know that all the Dougs in the United States will eat over 1,900 bushels of curly fries before halftime?\n\n David: According to the Institute for Odd Tasting Pseudo Pilsner Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Appleton, over four million Americans will take a sip of Coors Light, make a who-farted face, and then check the can for an expiration date. And then take another sip.\n\n Jeff: There will be over 75 ER incidents of people who avoided Super Bowl but got teeth and/or dental work caught in JuJuBees at movie theaters. Also, I'd prefer to see a \"people flying over NYC\" video if they were all dressed and shaped like Rob Ryan. And if the city was Paris.\n\n Jeff: Did you know: that 14% of cabbies will need designated drivers on Sunday night, so be careful.\n\n David: I think that is probably service-y enough.\n\n Jeff: I had a moratorium on Archie Manning news this week, but I am breaking that to announce that he wishes Chewels gum was still being produced.\n\n\n\n Jeff: People have not seen him this down in a long time. He has also warned the Chargers that if Peyton goes to free agency that he will never play for them.\n\n David: \"There was an extra bit of viscous flavor ooze inside the gum,\" an emotional Manning told the press on Saturday. \"And...I can't. I can't, you guys.\" Also is that Bud Cort in that Chewels ad?\n\n Jeff: I am hearing that Belichick was going to try to get Joan Didion to play in the secondary, but out of respect for New York she wouldn't do it.\n\n David: \"I imagined some people saying I couldn't win with Didion and Melissa Rivers back there. Well, I'm all about proving those imaginary people wrong.\"\n\n Jeff: \"She's just actually the best human being for what we needed back there tonight if we wanted to win. Several passes were right in her wheelhouse. She could have knocked them down.\"\n\n Jeff: My new nickname for the Giants running backs is \"Maybe Shrugs\"\n\n David: \"Gimpy Smush.\"\n\n Jeff: One of the keys to a very long offseason will be if Brandon Jacobs can blast through the line and do his \"painful stomach ache\" fall for a gain of 2.1 yards.\n\n Jeff: My prediction is one more prayer story from the Post, Roger Goodell abruptly moving the game to London at halftime, and Patriots 27, Giants 21.\n\n David: I feel like we've already given people plenty to bet on with regard to the game, but I'll bet you a dollar that the Giants win, and $5,000 that images from Madonna's Sex book flash on the Jumbotron during her performance. Also that she performs only her songs from the Dick Tracy soundtrack. So, $10,000, then. If you accept, just don't say anything else.\n\n Jeff Johnson whines almost hourly here, and is cruel to sportscards here and here.\n\n David Roth co-writes the Wall Street Journal's Daily Fix blog, writes the sports column \"The Mercy Rule\" at Vice.com, and he's one of the founders of The Classical. He tweets here."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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