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"  1. You Dry-Humped Or Slept With The Groom At Least Once. And everyone&amp;amp;#146;s just going to pretend it didn&amp;amp;#146;t happen. You are sitting two feet away from where he is devoting the rest of his adult life to another woman, and all you can think about is that one drunken hookup on a bed covered with coats at a gross house party. It&amp;amp;#146;s almost weirder than going to a proper ex-boyfriend&amp;amp;#146;s wedding. 2. You Made Out With The Bride In College When You Were Both Drunk Freshmen. And the next day there were embarrassing Facebook pictures that forced you both to engage in an untagging festival. Damn you, Ladies Night at Senor Frog&amp;amp;#146;s.  3. One Or Both Of Them Are Loaded And They Don&amp;amp;#146;t Think About Anyone Else&amp;amp;#146;s Financial Restraints. You guys! You both work in finance! Nothing on your registry is under $500! After I paid out the ass for your three-day destination wedding, I had to scrounge for couch quarters to pay for food! Here is a dead rat on a plate from my disgusting apartment to celebrate your love.  4. You Kind Of Hate The Bride And Barely Know The Groom. Since weddings are so lavish and, well, selfish, really (no judgment, I love weddings), they&amp;amp;#146;re the sort of thing that you adore when it&amp;amp;#146;s the wedding of someone you adore, and hate when it&amp;amp;#146;s the wedding of someone you hate. So, I mean, yeah, when you are watching your former co-worker who used to steal your fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt slow-dance with her new husband to Aerosmith, your heart will not sing. 5. The Bride Was A Childhood Friend With Whom You Now Have Nothing In Common. Or, as I like to call these semi-annual drinks-dates friendships, &amp;quot;You Used To Doodle Anime With Her In Junior High Study Hall And Now She&amp;amp;#146;s A Stranger To You.&amp;quot; To commemorate the awkward, braces-wearing girls you once were, you half-heartedly try to keep in contact with each other, but this wedding &amp;amp;#151; undoubtedly stocked with other junior high alums and reminders of your own dorkiness &amp;amp;#151; will be awkward as hell. Especially if you have to give a speech, which will no doubt be rife with vague yet true statements that apply to any human being (e.g. &amp;amp;#147;Kate has always been... alive.&amp;amp;#148;) 6. You&amp;amp;#146;re Good Friends With The Groom And Have Always Kind Of Disapproved Of The Bride.  You love him, but she&amp;amp;#146;s just hella boring, son. (Or vice versa.) Feeling everything about one half of a couple and nothing about the other half, and all the ceremonial air-kissing and faking required to hide this, is inevitably uncomfortable for everybody.  7. They&amp;amp;#146;re A Couple of Etsy Motherfuckers. Of the anti-establishment, Burning Man-attending, Brooklyn earring designing variation, who occasionally give you shit for being a &amp;quot;drone&amp;quot; and having an &amp;quot;office job.&amp;quot; Try to find a good wedding present for the couple who hates consumerism. They already have enough Mason jars. And try to learn the names of 200 strangers who all dress like members of Mumford &amp;amp; Sons. Go ahead. I&amp;amp;#146;ll wait.  8. The Incredibly Preppy Wedding That&amp;amp;#146;s Giving You Douche Chills. One of those weddings where all the groomsmen rowed crew with the groom and have initials next to their names. Did you know, that like a flock of birds or a school of fish, when more than five men in salmon pants gather at a social event, they are called an unpleasantry? Now you know.  9. An Insane Theme Wedding. I like Disney as much as the next person, I guess, but really? At least go with a more unique, possibly seventh-grade-dance-inspired theme, like &amp;amp;#147;Magic Carpet Ride&amp;amp;#148; or &amp;amp;#147;Here&amp;amp;#146;s To The Night,&amp;amp;#148; or &amp;amp;#147;I Can&amp;#039;t Believe I&amp;#039;m Missing A Very Special Episode Of Boy Meets World For This.&amp;quot; 10. A Dry Wedding. (No Open Bar.)  Follow Anna on Twitter. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a5348/awkward-weddings-twentysomething/?src=rss>