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"  Im a stay-at-home mom of four kids. The school they attend is filled with many cliquish moms who really dont speak with you unless youre helping with one of their committees. I cant stop worrying that if I dont make the perfect impression with the mothers of my childrens classmates and friends, then my kids wont be asked to play, hang out, etc. My kids seem happy and well adjusted so far, so should I even care about this? Id really appreciate your thoughts. T.A., 38, Camden, NJ The &amp;quot;momfia&amp;quot; can be daunting, no question about it. We all think we leave high school behind on the day we stand there in our dress shoes and dorky robes, but then time passes and our little ones enter school and suddenly were back in 10th grade. There are the perky ultra-involved moms, the harried moms (who love their kids just as much but have other things to do), and the plain old slacker moms (my specialty, alas). Take away the kids and crows-feet, and nothing much has changed among us girls. Still, if I were you, I wouldnt worry. It may seem as if your children will be left out if youre not friendly with all the mothers, but the kids who are destined to be friends will find one another, especially as they get older.  There is one other thing. In the interest of giving the members of the momfia the benefit of the doubt (maybe theyre not all aloof, just overwhelmed), perhaps you could make a move and volunteer to help out in some minor capacity? You say you worry that you need to make the perfect impression, but I suspect you dont need to be perfect, just available. I understand that with four little ones your life is already packed, but it might be worthwhile to take this first step just to demystify the momfia a bit, and to ease your worry as well.  Award-winning writer Karen Karbo is the author of How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great. She&amp;#039;s also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner. Send your questions to her at: The Hard Stuff, REDBOOK, 300 W. 57th St., New York, NY 10019 or karenkarbo@redbookmag.com. Letters may be edited for clarity and length, and must include your initials, age, city, and state. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/mom-kids/advice/a3582/hs-mommy-cliques/>