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"  Dear E. Jean: Are guys worth the effort? I&amp;#039;m 22 and having a hard time because (a) I am really sweet and conservative, don&amp;#039;t go out looking like a slut, and never act like I want to hook up with as many people as possible; and (b) guys are mostly into getting laid, drinking, partying with their buddies, and doing it all over again the next weekend (with a different girl). My issue: When I find a guy who&amp;#039;s cute, funny, and nice, I end up hooking up with him (not sex\u2014everything but). However, it never escalates into anything more. And I want it to! When I hold out, the guys lose interest and I&amp;#039;m back to square one. This has happened to me with three guys in the past six months\u2014you&amp;#039;d think I&amp;#039;d have learned by now!  They never call (probably because they&amp;#039;re too intoxicated to remember they promised to). I don&amp;#039;t see them all week, then the weekend parties roll around; they get a little Budweiser in them, become all excited when they see me, apologize, start feeding me lines, and we hook up again! I&amp;#039;m a good person! I deserve a nice guy. It&amp;#039;s just really frustrating!\u2014Stop Me Before I Do Something Stupid!  Stop, sweetie: This is going to be great. Trust me. You&amp;#039;ll be the first young lady in the Year of Frustration 2006 to walk into a posh social function, grab a nice guy by the scruff of his Natural Resources Defense Council T-shirt, and kick the hook-up gods in the bollocks.  How? Social hierarchies are based on people&amp;#039;s deep awareness of status cues, right? (Any half-awake homo sapienette in America can size up your clothes, hairdo, accent, etc., and in two seconds peg you correctly in the social pecking order.) The sexual Status Sphere works the same way. If you&amp;#039;re positioned ever so &amp;quot;nice, sweet,&amp;quot; and un-slutilicious, clasping (demure as a doily!) a plastic cup of Jack and Ginger in a specific environment at a specific time (i.e., your usual &amp;quot;weekend party&amp;quot;), the Bud boys will read your cues 100 percent correctly as the cute &amp;quot;frustrated&amp;quot; girl who&amp;#039;s looking for, no, who deserves a nice guy, and they will take massive advantage of the situation.  Stop going to those stupid parties. Expand your personal zeitgeist. &amp;quot;Nice guys&amp;quot; are putting on guerrilla art shows, working with the NRDC, riding in mountain bike rallies, and campaigning to get morons tossed out of Congress. Why not join one of these groups and make a little difference in the world? The men you meet will sometimes be startlingly hot, but who cares? You&amp;#039;ll have time to get to know 10 or 12 of the buggers and decide which one really does deserve you. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/q-and-a/a26328/ask-e-jean-the-good-girl/>