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"This reader wants only the best for her friend, but she&amp;#x27;s not sure how to help her get it. Let&amp;#x27;s discuss... She writes: I have a friend who can&amp;#x27;t seem to find Mr. Right, but it&amp;#x27;s not always because of the guys. She really wants a relationship and has no trouble becoming interested in a new cute guy she meets. The problem is that the second she finds a guy she likes, she immediately pictures a relationship and marriage with them. She expects things to be on a serious level right away&amp;amp;#8212;like constant communication, multiple plans a week, etc. If a day goes by and there isn&amp;#x27;t a single text from him, she gets really nervous. I think she&amp;#x27;s pushing them away with these habits, and I don&amp;#x27;t know how to help. I&amp;#x27;ve tried to tell her to take things slow and that these things are OK, but it doesn&amp;#x27;t work and I always end up comforting her shortly after when it doesn&amp;#x27;t work out. She trusts too easily and keeps getting hurt, and I hate to see her go through that, but at the same time I can&amp;#x27;t keep being there when the situation repeats itself. How can I help her without hurting her feelings? At some point in our lives, most of us have either been like your friend, had a friend like her, or possibly, both. While I actually think it&amp;#x27;s positive that your friend is clear about what she wants from a guy and isn&amp;#x27;t afraid to go for it, it sounds to me like she might be a little fixated on needing a relationship. I don&amp;#x27;t know if there are circumstances for that&amp;amp;#8212;for instance, most of her friends are coupled up, or she just had a major birthday, etc.&amp;amp;#8212;but it seems to me like the best thing you can do for her is to help her see that while, yes, finding a partner is wonderful, it&amp;#x27;s not the only thing that makes people happy. Of course, she needs to find her own path to happiness and you can&amp;#x27;t do it for her, but you can do lots of fun stuff together and encourage her to do activities that keep her busy and thinking about things other than guys. Maybe she could take a class or join a sports team. And while you certainly don&amp;#x27;t have to change your own life to make her feel better, maybe take a bit of extra care to make sure she doesn&amp;#x27;t feel left out or left behind if she&amp;#x27;s always the third wheel. Spoken as a single girl among lots of couples myself (if that is your friend&amp;#x27;s situation), it can make a gal feel a little desperate to get the ball rolling on her own twosome. As for the actual dating advice you can give her, you&amp;#x27;re probably doing all you can by advising her to take things slowly. Keep encouraging her and lead by example by not obsessing over your own dates and relationships more than necessary, showing her that it&amp;#x27;s OK to let things happen naturally. You can&amp;#x27;t force her to take your advice even if it&amp;#x27;s so obvious she&amp;#x27;s messing up. I know it can be frustrating to watch a friend repeat the same mistakes over and over again, but be patient with her. We all have some bad luck and make some bad mistakes until we meet the right guy, don&amp;#x27;t we? That said, you don&amp;#x27;t have to be her one-woman support system 24/7. I think it&amp;#x27;s fine to set an indulgence limit (in your own mind, at least) of how much time you can give her every time this happens, i.e., one night of complaining over drinks and one frantic late-night phone call. After that, you can gently guide the conversation to other topics or tell her you just can&amp;#x27;t hang out tonight. After all, you are only her friend, not her therapist. What do you guys think? Do you have a friend like this? What would you do to help her?"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2014/05/readers-dilemma-can-i-tell-my-1>