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" 1 Best Worst Album Covers --From BizarreRecords.com 2 Most Innovative Assassination Attempt &amp;quot;In 1855, someone did finally take a shot at President Franklin Pierce--with a hard-boiled egg. After being taken into custody, the assailant attempted suicide with a pocketknife. The president took pity on the poor bastard and dropped the charges.&amp;quot;  --From Secret Lives of the U. S. Presidents, a clever new book by Cormac O&amp;#039;Brien 3 Strangest Attempt to Capitalize on Governor Schwarzenegger The &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m a Republican because of Richard Nixon&amp;quot; T-shirts for sale at the Richard Nixon Library &amp;amp;amp; Birthplace (nixonlibrary.org) in Yorba Linda, California. The tees are emblazoned with a photo of Nixon and Arnold, who supposedly uttered the quote during a visit to the library in 1991.  4 Heaviest Read GOAT (Greatest of All Time), an 800-page book about Muhammad Ali that measures 20 by 20 inches, weighs 75 pounds, and costs $3,500.  5 Best Composite Religion Judge Livi: My mother was Catholic. My father was Jewish. Colonel Roux: What&amp;#039;s that make you? Judge Livi: Agnostic. --From The Statement, starring Tilda Swinton as Judge Livi 6 Least Sentimental View of Man&amp;#039;s Best Friend &amp;quot;If a dog could speak, I think he would say, &amp;#039;Let me have McDonald&amp;#039;s.&amp;#039; So it&amp;#039;s McDonald&amp;#039;s; it&amp;#039;s gotta be part of the process. It&amp;#039;s gotta be the very last gift these guys get.&amp;quot; --Controversial dog activist Sue Sternberg, in the HBO documentary Shelter Dogs, on her way to euthanize an unadoptable cocker spaniel 7 Best Use of Technology The Matrix Vibe, a ten-speed, bullet-shaped vibrator that connects to a laptop&amp;#039;s USB port.  --Available at blissbox.com 8 Least Sympathetic Reference to Childbirth &amp;quot;He edged a sandwich into his mouth and talked around it. &amp;#039;Y&amp;#039;all hear people complain this chicken won&amp;#039;t lay, that chicken won&amp;#039;t lay, but shit, I wouldn&amp;#039;t lay neither. Of course, in regard to that, they ain&amp;#039;t unsimilar to womens. The skinny ones ain&amp;#039;t used to it scream like to die, and the ones with more meat and experience, they just spit out a baby like a watermelon seed.&amp;#039; &amp;quot; --From Train, Pete Dexter&amp;#039;s newish novel 9 Least Believable Scene Ashton Kutcher reciting the Greek alphabet in less than four seconds.  --In The Butterfly Effect, costarring Amy Smart "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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