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" This guy is out in the country, and he sees a farmer with a three-legged pig. He asks the farmer what happened.  &amp;quot;Well, once there was a huge lightning storm. A bolt struck the house, which caught on fire. The pig goes down to the lake, gets water, puts out the fire, and saves us all,&amp;quot; explains the farmer.  &amp;quot;Wow! So that&amp;#039;s how he lost his leg?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;No, sir. One morning a pack of grizzlies smelled some bacon my wife left out and started breaking through our windows. The pig scared them off and saved us all from certain death!&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Ah, so that&amp;#039;s how he lost his leg?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Nope,&amp;quot; says the farmer. &amp;quot;But a pig that good? You can&amp;#039;t eat him all at once.&amp;quot; About the jokester: We knew we liked Melissa Sagemiller the moment she told us how her high school modeling career came to its abrupt end. &amp;quot;My junior year, they told me, &amp;#039;You&amp;#039;re going to Japan.&amp;#039; And I said, &amp;#039;Actually, I&amp;#039;m going to the University of Virginia to drink beer.&amp;#039;&amp;quot; She&amp;#039;s been making shrewd career decisions ever since, eventually landing a role on the Emmy-nominated Showtime terrorism drama Sleeper Cell. Sagemiller currently stars in The Guardian as the girlfriend of Coast Guard rescue diver Ashton Kutcher. &amp;quot;He got pneumonia; I didn&amp;#039;t even get my hair wet,&amp;quot; she admits. Next spring, you can see her in Mr. Woodcock, a comedy about a guy desperately trying to keep his mother from marrying his sleazy former high school gym teacher (Billy Bob Thornton). Filming brought back difficult memories: &amp;quot;I had this gym teacher who would drink cartons of milk and yell at us with it all over his lips. I don&amp;#039;t drink milk to this day because I was traumatized. It&amp;#039;s always the gym teachers who are freaks.&amp;quot; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/a385/esq1006mahbopener-57/>