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"#TeamPLL, I&amp;#x27;m asking Jesus to shape-shift True Blood-style into a bar of Dove soap, so I can wash my mouth out because there were approximately 17 moments during last night&amp;#x27;s Pretty Little Liars in which I cussed e&amp;#x27;erybody the hell out. Seriously, I can&amp;#x27;t with this show right now because these folks are acting foolish: Em is flirting with a shady-ass college guidance counselor so she can get into a local, second-tier school; Mama Marin treats key evidence regarding Wilden&amp;#x27;s murder like a box of Christmas lights and just has it chilling up in her closet, and all the Little Liars refuse to listen to TLC when they said, &amp;quot;Don&amp;#x27;t go chasing waterfalls&amp;quot; a.k.a. the LL continue to walk into dark, wooded areas alone when they should be &amp;quot;sticking to the rivers and lakes that they&amp;#x27;re used to&amp;quot; a.k.a. staying in brightly lit places and stop accepting drinks from cute strangers. Clearly, a decent amount of stuff went down during this episode entitled &amp;quot;Gamma Zeta Die,&amp;quot; so let&amp;#x27;s discuss in another GIF recap: Spencer tries to talk Hanna out of doing something stupid. Will Han listen? Hanna waking up to talk to Mama Marin and MM&amp;#x27;s hair falling out made me react the way I do when, after exercising with my BFF, she tells me that jogging is not a once-in-a-lifetime thing and that we have to do regularly in order to lose weight: Luckily, Hanna was having a nightmare and MM has all her hair: Mama Hastings gives Spencer a book and tells her to meet with Brendan, a private admissions counselor, so he can help her get into an Ivy League school since Radley being on her record has made things difficult. Spencer&amp;#x27;s like: because she thinks she can get into Ivy League schools on her own. Spence, what I&amp;#x27;m about to say to you is what I yell at a friend of mine who is whining about a dude who clearly isn&amp;#x27;t into her: Same goes for these fancy colleges, gurl! So listen to MH, go meet with Brendan, and see if he can help salvage your future. Next, Papa Fields apologizes for being unable to afford to send Em to Stanford. She says she wouldn&amp;#x27;t have gotten in the school anyway because she&amp;#x27;s nothing without swimming, and he&amp;#x27;s like: At school, the Liars talk about Papa Marin&amp;#x27;s stolen gun, the fact that Ella has been stank lately, and Brendan. That&amp;#x27;s when they discover that the number on the cover of the book that MH gave Spence has the same area code and prefix as the number Tippy sang in epi two, and I&amp;#x27;m like: Ella tells Aria that she&amp;#x27;s not going to Vienna with her boo because Mike isn&amp;#x27;t comfortable with her leaving town. &amp;#x27;Grats, Mike! You&amp;#x27;re a: Anyway, Aria tries to change Ella&amp;#x27;s mind as they get into the car. Aria notices a bee, her mom kills it, and then refuses to budge on the Vienna trip, so Aria leaves. She gets a text from &amp;quot;A&amp;quot; and suddenly a bunch of bees start appearing from Ella&amp;#x27;s car air vent and start attacking her, so logically she does this: That&amp;#x27;s right. She attempts to swat hundreds of bees away like she was inside one of those money wind machine booths at a carnival and she only had 30 seconds to grab as many dollars bills instead of, I don&amp;#x27;t know, OPENING THE CAR DOOR SO THE BEES CAN LEAVE. Aria tells Em about the attack on her mom. Ella is fine, but Aria is more determined than ever to get Ella out of town before &amp;quot;A&amp;quot; strikes again. Me and: Em gets off the phone and goes over to serve Brendan, who is at the coffee shop and waiting for Spence to show up for the meeting. Em tells him she can&amp;#x27;t swim anymore, and he, all googly-eyed, offers to go over schools with her until Spence shows up. UGH, Bren, Spence finally shows up and tells Em not to go, and then she lets Brendan know that she wants to check out Cicero College (because it&amp;#x27;s located in the area code and prefix of the phone number from Tippy). Em decides she&amp;#x27;ll join this road trip and: Mama Hastings offers to help Mama Marin and doesn&amp;#x27;t care to know if MM is guilty or not: Aria&amp;#x27;s fight with Mike about Ella not leaving town goes a little something like this: Aria begins: Then Mike makes a dig about Aria wanting Ella gone so she can hook up with Ezra: And Aria is like: Followed by: End. Scene. MM arrives home to discuss the campus tours. Hanna is totes uninterested, but is hella intrigued by the phone call that Mama Marin gets that makes her leave the room. Hanna picks up the other line and hears Mama Hastings telling MM to come to the office the next morning: Aria says to Byron that she can&amp;#x27;t explain why, but he has to persuade Ella to leave the country with her new boo: At Cicero, Spence tells Em that she&amp;#x27;s trying too hard to make Brendan believe they want to go to this podunk school, and Em wants to react the way I do when Jehovah&amp;#x27;s Witnesses knock on my door at 8 A.M. on Saturday: Meanwhile, Hanna discovers that one of MM&amp;#x27;s closet is locked. After a while, she&amp;#x27;s able to break into it and finds a gun: Hanna calls Spence to talk about the gun, but Spence doesn&amp;#x27;t give an eff and hangs up. Next, Spence gets one of the Cicero nerds to help her with the phone number. He says it&amp;#x27;s a campus number from one of the fraternity/sororities on Greek Row. Byron meets up with Ella and lets her know that Mike has changed his mind about her moving to Vienna and that she should do it. My thoughts on this dragged out &amp;quot;Will she, won&amp;#x27;t she leave the country&amp;quot; story line: No? Moving on then. While walking along Greek Row, Spence and Em argue. Em actually wants to go to Cicero, while Spence is only in town to find out more clues about &amp;quot;A.&amp;quot; Then they both throw shade at each other, and it bums me out because I hate when there&amp;#x27;s in-fighting amongst the Liars: Hanna is about to sneak out of the house with the gun when MM stops her. Hanna lies and says she&amp;#x27;s doing a campus tour of Cicero and Mama Marin believes her: At a sorority party, Em and Spence are doing their own thing when Hanna arrives and shows Spence the gun. They can&amp;#x27;t decide if they should give it to PM or get rid of it, so Spence tells her to wait there while she goes and gets Em, so the three of them can figure out a plan together. All I have to say about Spence leaving Hanna alone: Anyway, Spence goes upstairs to look for Em when a couple of drunk girls bump into her and she falls into a moveable wall. She pushes it open and walks in. It&amp;#x27;s pitch back and she&amp;#x27;s like, &amp;quot;Hello?&amp;quot;: Seriously, though, after all she&amp;#x27;s been through, Spence knows better than to go into a dark room by her lonesome. This is ridic. She doesn&amp;#x27;t even have a flashlight! Anyhoo, it doesn&amp;#x27;t matter because she turns on a light and sees an unplugged phone. She plugs it in and dials. And I&amp;#x27;m like: Aria gets a phone call, and it&amp;#x27;s Spence...from the number. That&amp;#x27;s THE number Tippy was singing! Aria&amp;#x27;s like: which makes me think that Aria has gotten a call from this phone number before. Anyway, Spence gets off the phone and notices scratch marks on a door and tries to figure out who could&amp;#x27;ve been making calls from that room. Hanna gets up, grabs a pitcher, and leaves the house, and I react the way I do when I expect something I tweeted to get 20 RT&amp;#x27;s, but instead it gets none: I mean, Hanna, didn&amp;#x27;t Spence tell you to sit your ass down and wait? Em notices Hanna and goes after her, and Brendan follows Em to offer to help look for Hanna and then holds her hand. Oof. In about 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, he&amp;#x27;ll be like: because Em lets him know that she&amp;#x27;s a lesbian and not interested. Y&amp;#x27;all, let&amp;#x27;s take a moment to do the following for Brendan&amp;#x27;s boner: Em walks away to find Hanna just as Spence returns to where she left Hanna and sees she&amp;#x27;s not there. Em goes into the woods and calls out for Hanna. Nothing. Then she hears a twig snap and she&amp;#x27;s like, &amp;quot;Who is that? Tell me who are!&amp;quot; LOL MOCHA LATTE-COLORED WOMEN. Em starts running&amp;amp;#8212;she&amp;#x27;s being chased by someone in a hoodie, but it&amp;#x27;s not &amp;quot;A&amp;quot; and just some frat douche. My scared-to-happy emotional swing during this scene is like this: Next, we see Hanna using the pitcher to dig up dirt, so she can bury the gun, WHICH SHE&amp;#x27;S TOUCHING WITH HER BARE HANDS: Just as Em and Spence link up, the cops arrive and arrest Hanna: We end the epi with &amp;quot;A&amp;quot; pouring honey into a cup of tea and then looking at a photo of the Gamma Zeta house. Carla Grunwald, the woman Em was warned about at the sorority house, is in the picture. She was the house mother. Aaaaaaaaaand as per usual: Alrighty, what did you think of this episode? Does anyone have any idea who &amp;quot;A&amp;quot; is at this point?"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/entertainment/blogs/obsessed/2013/07/pretty-little-liars-recap-some>