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"Even the most confident worker bee in the world&amp;amp;#8212;like, for example, you!&amp;amp;#8212;can get a little nervous when she needs to have a tough talk with the head honcho. But as long as you stay calm (even if you&amp;amp;#8217;re faking it) and keep the focus on the work, your manager may be thanking you as you exit her office. Three bigwigs who&amp;amp;#8217;ve seen it done right and very, very wrong teach you the most successful strategies. The Toughie: You&amp;amp;#8217;re overwhelmed with a capital O, and need your boss to help you prioritize. The Time to Ask: &amp;amp;#8220;Before you reach your choke point,&amp;amp;#8221; says Patricia Wadors, senior vice president of human resources at consumer-electronics maker Plantronics. Your Strategy: Be straightforward, and leave emotion out of it. &amp;amp;#8220;Say, &amp;amp;#8216;I want to continue to focus on the things you think really matter. Can we review the projects I&amp;amp;#8217;m working on to see which are most important to you?&amp;amp;#8217;&amp;amp;#8221; suggests Elisa Steele, chief marketing officer at Yahoo. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness as long as you&amp;amp;#8217;ve thought through the solution; it can even show off your problem-solving skills. If you&amp;amp;#8217;re stretched thin because your department is understaffed, says Wadors, offer a compromise up front: &amp;amp;#8220;I know the budget is tight, but I&amp;amp;#8217;d love to get a temp for our department.&amp;amp;#8221; It&amp;amp;#8217;s up to your boss&amp;amp;#8212;not you&amp;amp;#8212;to decide if the company needs a full-time hire. The Toughie: You want a raise. The Time to Ask: After a few well-received projects, and a month or two before your performance review. Your Strategy: Don&amp;amp;#8217;t come in with a number. &amp;amp;#8220;It&amp;amp;#8217;s risky to ask for money&amp;amp;#8212;and in tough times, no one is going to give you a raise just because you want it,&amp;amp;#8221; says Wadors. &amp;amp;#8220;Go to your boss and say, &amp;amp;#8216;As you know, I&amp;amp;#8217;m really trying to establish and grow my career, and I&amp;amp;#8217;d like to earn more. Can we talk about how I could increase my salary here?&amp;amp;#8217;&amp;amp;#8221; That&amp;amp;#8217;s a perfectly reasonable request&amp;amp;#8212;as long as you&amp;amp;#8217;re not making it every two months. But it&amp;amp;#8217;s important to broach the subject ahead of your review, because once a decision is made, it&amp;amp;#8217;s very hard to reverse it. &amp;amp;#8220;Part of a manager&amp;amp;#8217;s job is to make sure her workforce is compensated appropriately. She&amp;amp;#8217;s getting paid to have these talks,&amp;amp;#8221; says Steele. Put her objectives first, and even if you get shot down, you may get a commitment for a follow-up meeting. And in the interim, perform your butt off! The Toughie: You want a promotion. The Time to Ask: When you&amp;amp;#8217;re confident that you&amp;amp;#8217;re ready for the next step&amp;amp;#8212;and you&amp;amp;#8217;re sure it&amp;amp;#8217;s not just the title you&amp;amp;#8217;re after. Your Strategy: Wait for the right opportunity. &amp;amp;#8220;A woman who worked for me once got so fixated on moving up that every time a position became available, she&amp;amp;#8217;d apply for it&amp;amp;#8212;even though she didn&amp;amp;#8217;t have the relevant experience,&amp;amp;#8221; says Wadors. &amp;amp;#8220;When a job opened up that she did have the skills for, I chose someone else, because she&amp;amp;#8217;d eroded her credibility and showed a lack of judgment and maturity, two things that are critical to a high-level job.&amp;amp;#8221; Be sure to make it about the company and not your need to redecorate your apartment, adds Wadors. &amp;amp;#8220;Always ask your boss what success looks like in the position you want to have. And then say, &amp;amp;#8216;Let me think about how I can best achieve that.&amp;amp;#8217; Come back with a plan and I&amp;amp;#8217;ll automatically want to talk to you, because you&amp;amp;#8217;ve showed me you care about the team.&amp;amp;#8221; The Toughie: You need to tell the boss you&amp;amp;#8217;re pregnant. The Time to Ask: Well, in this case, you&amp;amp;#8217;re not asking, you&amp;amp;#8217;re simply telling&amp;amp;#8212;do it when you&amp;amp;#8217;re about four months along. Your Strategy: Ease the transition. &amp;amp;#8220;A woman recently came to me and said, &amp;amp;#8216;My baby is due in March, and I&amp;amp;#8217;ve already thought about who might cover for me while I&amp;amp;#8217;m gone,&amp;amp;#8217;&amp;amp;#8221; says Marisa Sarian, principal at McKinley School in Pasadena, California. &amp;amp;#8220;&amp;amp;#8216;It would be great if we could teach together the last week, in the interest of the students.&amp;amp;#8217;&amp;amp;#8221; It&amp;amp;#8217;s important for your manager to feel like she can count on you, so reassure her that you&amp;amp;#8217;re committed to working until close to term and returning after maternity leave. And never, ever try to hide your bump until the last minute. &amp;amp;#8220;A friend of mine at a consulting firm waited until she was seven months along to tell her boss, because she was afraid her career would be impacted,&amp;amp;#8221; says Wadors. Her boss was furious, and their relationship grew strained. The Toughie: You want to graduate from cubeland to an actual office. The Time to Ask: When your job requires privacy and you&amp;amp;#8217;re feeling thick-skinned. Your Strategy: &amp;amp;#8220;Humility is key,&amp;amp;#8221; says Wadors. Bring legit reasons and avoid sounding petty&amp;amp;#8212;your case for an office shouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t be how you&amp;amp;#8217;ll look to colleagues. &amp;amp;#8220;Otherwise your boss will think it&amp;amp;#8217;s an ego trip,&amp;amp;#8221; she adds. If you have a confidential job or several important deadlines per week that require quiet focus, play up those things&amp;amp;#8212;but the word deserve should not enter the conversation. And be realistic. &amp;amp;#8220;If your company&amp;amp;#8217;s culture is open plan,&amp;amp;#8221; says Steele, &amp;amp;#8220;and none of your peers have an office door, I&amp;amp;#8217;m sorry, but: Get over it.&amp;amp;#8221;"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2010/11/5-scary-talks-to-have-with-your-boss/2>