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" Nothing says Sunday night quite like Khlo\u00E9 Kardashian on your television, talking about how stressful it&amp;#039;s going to be to go home and try to scrape out all of the mud from the inside of her vagina, huh? That&amp;#039;s right: Another hour of Keeping Up With the Kardiashians has come and gone, leaving plenty of losers, winners, platform shoes, and obstacle courses in its wake. Let&amp;#039;s get to it. Winner: The helicopter industry, I guess? Seriously, though, it was a great week for helipad consultant Ricarda Bennett, even if her presence kind of made it a terrible week for viewers. Homegirl shows up in a plaid blazer and takes Scott Disick entirely in stride, even though she mostly works with &amp;quot;hospitals and corporations.&amp;quot; She has blueprints. She has statistics. She uses terms like &amp;quot;transitional slope.&amp;quot; You get the sense that she has absolutely no idea who the Kardashians are, if only because she answers every single one of Scott&amp;#039;s questions sincerely. Look, I love a good manufactured Kardashian side storyline as much as the next girl. (I&amp;#039;m already looking back with fondness on a few weeks ago, when Kourtney was a noted art forgery detective for like 45 minutes.) But it&amp;#039;s frustrating when we get an entire storyline about whether or not Scott should build a helipad in the backyard of the new house. (Spoiler: He doesn&amp;#039;t. He gets a slide for the kids instead. Awwwwww.) And it&amp;#039;s especially frustrating when we get 10 minutes of helicopter shenanigans and only 30 seconds of Kim recounting her visit to her psychic. Seriously. Her psychic tells her Rob should get a puppy and isn&amp;#039;t bipolar, and we don&amp;#039;t get a two-hour special episode dedicated to that? Helicopters&amp;#039; gain is, sadly, our loss. Stray Observation: Bruce has never been known for his tact, but, &amp;quot;So, how have you been doing considering the loss of your parents?&amp;quot; doesn&amp;#039;t seem like a question to abruptly ask someone in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Then again, given the revelation that he apparently once banged Kris in the back of an airplane on autopilot, maybe I shouldn&amp;#039;t be telling him how to live. Do you, Bruce Jenner. Hey, Where&amp;#039;s Kanye? At home waiting to de-mud Kim, probably. Loser: Kris. After an argument about \u2026 a pilot&amp;#039;s costume, mostly, Kris starts doing some soul-searching about the way she treats Bruce. She asks Kendall if she&amp;#039;s too controlling when it comes to Kendall&amp;#039;s father, which is a position all parents should put their children in. Kris frets that Bruce is just misinterpreting her well-intentioned advice, and Kendall is pretty frank with her, even going so far as to ask if she feels like her controlling nature was the reason for their separation. It all leads to a teary conversation on a Malibu beach where Kris offers an apology that begins with, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m sorry if \u2026&amp;quot; To be clear: If there&amp;#039;s an if, it&amp;#039;s not an apology.  Then again, Kris&amp;#039;s final voiceover of the episode asserts that she still feels like she&amp;#039;s always been in the right when it comes to the decisions she&amp;#039;s made about (and on behalf of) Bruce, so maybe she&amp;#039;s not the loser after all \u2014 maybe Bruce is. I really do hope he&amp;#039;ll start winning soon, whatever that looks like for him. Real Talk: The weekend of the Kimye wedding, I was out with a friend who asked me why Rob had stormed out of the rehearsal dinner. &amp;quot;Well,&amp;quot; I replied, &amp;quot;The thing you have to remember about Rob is that he&amp;#039;s going through some self-esteem stuff, so the most photographed event of the millennium probably stressed him out. But you also have to remember that Rob takes his relationships with his sisters&amp;#039; significant others really seriously, and have we ever really seen Kanye make any sort of effort with him? Maybe he just feels left out, and \u2026 oh god, you were looking for a much shorter answer, weren&amp;#039;t you?&amp;quot; I offer this as proof of the fact that I really, really care about Rob. This is really the first time we&amp;#039;ve seen Rob since the mid-season finale where he broke down because he didn&amp;#039;t want to be on camera with his shirt off, and honestly, I&amp;#039;m worried. It&amp;#039;s not about the weight gain; he just seems so sad. And maybe he has for a while. How long has it been since we&amp;#039;ve seen Rob really at ease with his life? Law student Rob? Entrepreneur Rob? Actually laughs with his sisters Rob? I miss that guy. &amp;quot;Oh, Yeah, Reality TV Is Fake&amp;quot; Moment: Kim and Khlo\u00E9 completing the mud run chaperoned by bodyguards and shielded from other participants. Also, because I love a good crossover, I was very disappointed that this was not the same mud run company featured on this season of Shark Tank. The aerial workout that Kim and Kourtney did was pretty similar to the aerial yoga class Ramona took on this season of Real Housewives of New York, though, so I guess that&amp;#039;s something. &amp;quot;But This Part Seems Realistic, Actually&amp;quot; Moment: The Kardashian women own an actual machine that shushes their children for them. Sounds about right. Final Words to Live By: &amp;quot;Can I just stop?&amp;quot; \u2014 Mason, totally over playing with his aunts. We all want to stop, Mase.  RELATED: Read Last Week&amp;#039;s KUWTK Recap Follow Lauren on Twitter.  Photo Credit: "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/news/a28496/keeping-up-with-the-kardashians-recap-season-9-episode-12/>