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"Here&amp;#x27;s how to listen to on-the-job criticism&amp;amp;#8212;and use it to your advantage. Getting The Call from your manager may send chills down your spine, but here&amp;#x27;s a secret: People who are open to feedback adapt faster to new roles and leave their jobs less often, research shows. &amp;quot;Someone who asks what they could have done better appears self-assured and open,&amp;quot; says Sheila Heen, coauthor of the new book Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (Even When It Is Off Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered, and Frankly, You&amp;#x27;re Not in the Mood). &amp;quot;They seem committed to doing good work, which is good for anyone&amp;#x27;s reputation.&amp;quot; Of course, sometimes the feedback you get isn&amp;#x27;t what you want to hear. Heen and coauthor Douglas Stone have coached more than 5,000 managers and employees on these difficult conversations. Steal their tips for dealing with whatever&amp;#x27;s dished out: 1. Know what kind of feedback you&amp;#x27;re getting. There are three basic types, says Heen: appreciation (&amp;quot;I notice what you do and value your work&amp;quot;); coaching (&amp;quot;Here&amp;#x27;s what you could be doing better&amp;quot;); and evaluation (&amp;quot;Here&amp;#x27;s where you stand&amp;quot;). Most day-to-day feedback falls in the coaching category, but many people interpret those comments as a bigger-picture evaluation (your boss says, &amp;quot;This memo needs work&amp;quot;; you think he means &amp;quot;You&amp;#x27;re unlikely to get promoted anytime soon&amp;quot;), leaving you with the feeling that one mistake is a career ender. Note to self: It&amp;#x27;s not. And when you&amp;#x27;re seeking out feedback, ask for the kind you want. Maybe you&amp;#x27;re giving a speech and want your boss to read your remarks first. &amp;quot;You can say, &amp;#x27;How can I make this better,&amp;#x27; which would be asking for coaching,&amp;quot; says Stone. &amp;quot;Or you might say, &amp;#x27;I&amp;#x27;m feeling insecure about it and could use some encouragement,&amp;#x27; which would invite appreciation.&amp;quot; (There&amp;#x27;s nothing wrong with wanting a pep talk, Heen says. &amp;quot;The need for appreciation is very evident in little kids&amp;amp;#8212; &amp;#x27;Look at me!&amp;#x27;&amp;amp;#8212;but we never really lose it.&amp;quot;) 2. Press &amp;quot;pause&amp;quot; on your reaction. Negative feedback can sting, so your instinct is often to look for ways in which the critic is wrong. &amp;quot;We automatically want to think, She doesn&amp;#x27;t know what she&amp;#x27;s talking about, or find some reason to discard threatening-feeling information,&amp;quot; Heen says. But take a deep breath and try to understand what she&amp;#x27;s saying. One place to start: Clarify generalizations. &amp;quot;You&amp;#x27;re unprofessional&amp;quot; may be panic-inducing, but what does it really mean? &amp;quot;Your manager could be referring to how you dress or how long you take for lunch,&amp;quot; Stone says. Get specifics. 3. Make sure you understand the next step. To use feedback to your advantage, Heen says, &amp;quot;Think to yourself, Do I know what to do in order to follow this advice?&amp;quot; In other words, ask about what you&amp;#x27;ve been doing that hasn&amp;#x27;t been working and what you should do differently in the future. If your boss says your quarterly reports haven&amp;#x27;t been up to par, find out exactly what he dislikes about them (are they too long or too short? does he just hate Times New Roman?); if he can provide an example of a report that knocked it out of the park, even better. You&amp;#x27;ll want next steps with positive feedback too. So if in your annual review your manager says you&amp;#x27;ve been doing a great job (go, you!), ask about additional responsibilities you could take on that would help you grow. 4. Don&amp;#x27;t supersize it. &amp;quot;If someone says something negative about us, we take it to mean they think everything about us is bad,&amp;quot; Stone says. The feedback you&amp;#x27;re getting is probably about a specific action at a specific time. Just because your manager says you&amp;#x27;re too soft-spoken with clients, it doesn&amp;#x27;t mean he thinks you&amp;#x27;re a terrible employee. Now, that wasn&amp;#x27;t so bad, was it? And 3 Things to Know When Giving Feedback 1. Focus on behavior. &amp;quot;Don&amp;#x27;t say things like &amp;#x27;You&amp;#x27;re unreliable,&amp;#x27;&amp;quot; Stone says. &amp;quot;Instead, try &amp;#x27;I often have to remind you about deadlines.&amp;#x27; It&amp;#x27;s more productive if feedback is about concrete actions and not about character.&amp;quot; 2. Listen. &amp;quot;Be prepared to learn why the person has been doing what they&amp;#x27;ve been doing,&amp;quot; Stone says. This isn&amp;#x27;t about letting her make excuses; it&amp;#x27;s about figuring out how you can help fix the problem. 3. If it&amp;#x27;s bad, let it be bad. Managers sometimes try to avoid upsetting employees and, as a result, aren&amp;#x27;t clear enough with them, Heen says. &amp;quot;Be empathetic but don&amp;#x27;t change the message&amp;amp;#8212;she needs to know there&amp;#x27;s a problem and that something has to improve.&amp;quot;"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/inspired/2014/02/how-to-take-criticism-at-work-from-your-boss>