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"I am gifted This morning O.B. gave me a wedding present, and at first I was mad. Before the wedding, we&amp;amp;#8217;d talked about this. She wanted us to get gifts for each other. I thought that was nuts. Um, we just gave each other a thirty thousand dollar present. It&amp;amp;#8217;s called a wedding. What is it with all the present-giving couples attach to their marital milestones? O.B.&amp;amp;#8217;s sister&amp;amp;#8217;s husband gave her a giant emerald ring when she gave birth last year. A &amp;amp;#8220;push present.&amp;amp;#8221; This totally offends my feminist side. It&amp;amp;#8217;s like paying your wife to bear children for you. OK, maybe my feelings about that had to do with the fact that I won&amp;amp;#8217;t be able to afford a giant emerald ring, ever. If O.B. wanted a fancy push present, there were better husband options available out there. Anyway, I was really clear about not wanting to get each other wedding presents. I don&amp;amp;#8217;t know how it is with you all, but part of what makes this relationship work is that we both try to respect each other&amp;amp;#8217;s desires instead of judging them. She likes presents. I can be a little self-righteous (and maybe a little defensive because I&amp;amp;#8217;m not rich) about material things. But I get O.B. gifts because it means something to her, and I&amp;amp;#8217;ve finally realized it&amp;amp;#8217;s not my job to try to talk her out of that. Sure, I still make judgments about her (she doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t read the newspaper enough and she gossips too much) but I keep them to myself, filed under &amp;amp;#8220;MORE TO DO WITH YOU THAN HER.&amp;amp;#8221; But it&amp;amp;#8217;s also really important to me that I be able to draw a line. And the wedding present thing&amp;amp;#8212;that was where I drew the line. She understood. And then, boom, this morning a box appears on my pillow that says: Happy Wedding. We have a talk. And she says something pretty damn lovable and smart. She says, &amp;amp;#8220;I don&amp;amp;#8217;t want a gift from you. I understand what you think about all this, and I back you up on it. But it makes me feel good to get you something. So here it is. Be a big enough man to accept it and lavish me with thanks, without thinking I want something in return. It doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t always have to be parallel, this give and take.&amp;amp;#8221; I open the box, and it&amp;amp;#8217;s a framed photograph of the two of us, blown up, from a trip we&amp;amp;#8217;d taken together to Thailand. And I just let myself appreciate it. I thank her. And I hang it up in my office. It feels pretty good that all I have to do to make her happy, to compromise, is to accept this gift."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2007/12/jake-wedding-gift>