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" December 16, 2011 Do they still play hockey? Professionally? I remember liking that sport very much as a child and then as a young man. It was exciting, rugged, and \u2014 like Canada, come to think of it \u2014 as honest as the day is long. It was cool, in a down-market sort of way. I kind of miss it. Now that I think of it, I mean. Remember the NBA? Seems like only six months ago that the doughty Dallas Mavericks somehow beat the ESPN Heat \u2014 by far the most superest superteam ever assembled \u2014 for the championship. How the hell did that happen? I distinctly recall it having something to with ESPN&amp;#039;s LeBron James \u2014 a paragon of selflessness on-court and off \u2014 trying to give his less gifted teammates, Mario Chalmers and Juwan Howard, a chance to come up big with the season on the line. So eager was James to see his pals thrive that it almost seemed as if he truly didn&amp;#039;t want the ball when the chips were down. Still, Chalmers and Howard didn&amp;#039;t get it done, and surely no ESPN viewer has forgotten LeBron&amp;#039;s grace in the face of defeat.  Then came the lockout &amp;amp;amp;mdsah; NBA owners, according to themselves, were losing so much money that they were forced to force the players to play nothing but Xbox and bury-the-burrito until the players agreed to take a smaller percentage of the money that fans pay to see the players play basketball. As more than a few pundits noted, the owners and Kommissar David Stern collectively resembled the Old South&amp;#039;s plantation overseers in the same way that Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas seemed to himself much like a lynching victim during his Senate confirmation hearings. Now, at last, our long national nightmare has ended, and a new NBA season will soon begin. The Heat are the odds-on favorite to win the championship, no doubt because LeBron has worked long and hard to improve his brand, and to help ESPN convince the masses that he is not really a villain, just a happy-go-lucky Akron kid whose villainy was thrust upon him by millions of fans across the country who mistook him for a phony piece of shit during the hour-long ESPN special he arranged in order to shower money upon children in dire need of after-school recreation. Luckily for teams like the Mavericks and Bulls \u2014 and for those fans who remember the NBA \u2014 game results will still count toward winning the title. The regular season has been cut from 82 to 66 games, but there will be more games per week than usual. Some hoops analysts feel that this will lead to more injuries, most agree that it will help younger teams, and the consensus is that there will be far fewer unplanned pregnancies, particularly in Toronto, where the Maple Leafs, if I&amp;#039;m not mistaken, used to play ice hockey. The season will begin on Jesus&amp;#039;s birthday, fine and fitting tribute to a savior whose low-post game was legendary \u2014 not least because of his uncanny ability, so rare in a big man, to pass the rock.  (Click to order The Whore of Akron: One Man&amp;#039;s Search for the Soul of LeBron James) FROM THE NEW ISSUE: Chris Bosh Speaks Out on &amp;#039;The Decision&amp;#039; and Scottie Pippen on How to Build a Team "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/sports/a12096/2012-nba-season-start-6618400/>