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"  But once we started researching the process, our dream of having a child slipped farther away. In the United States, the birth mother is often able to pick from a selection of adoptive parents. And because Lance and I were both over age 40, we were told that it could be hard for us to adopt an infant. Our social worker suggested adopting from Africa, and we decided to find out more. After contacting an international adoption agency, we were told that Ethiopia had a stable system that made the process for foreign adoption smooth. Next, we had to choose the age of the child. We knew that adoptive parents often gravitate toward infants\u2014and that often it is the older children who are not selected. We wanted to be flexible on the age of the child so we decided to select the child who touched our hearts the most. We chose Sara from a video the orphanage sent us that included about 80 children. The moment we saw this small, quiet, delicate girl with almond-shaped eyes pop on to the screen, we both jumped up to rewind the tape. We just knew there was something special about her, and we phoned the adoption agency immediately\u2014 Sara was going to be our daughter. We sent Sara, who was about 8 years old, pictures of Lance and me and her new home, and six months later, we made the trip to Ethiopia to bring her back to the United States. When we saw her for the first time, she threw herself into our arms and shouted, &amp;quot;Mommy and Daddy, you&amp;#039;re here!&amp;quot; While we were in Ethiopia, the orphanage told us that Sara&amp;#039;s family wanted to meet us and say good-bye to her. Sara&amp;#039;s parents were deceased but she had lived with her aunt, grandmother, and uncle; they couldn&amp;#039;t care for her anymore and brought her to the orphanage in hopes that someone would adopt her. It was so clear when we met them how much Sara&amp;#039;s family loved her, but they knew that they didn&amp;#039;t have enough to offer her, which is why they were so grateful to us. We talked through a translator, and Sara&amp;#039;s grandmother told me that Sara wanted to be a doctor. I promised her that I would make sure that Sara went to college and medical school if she wanted to be a doctor. Her grandmother smiled and said, &amp;quot;God will bless you.&amp;quot; We videotaped each of her family members saying something special to Sara. Through the tears, they all basically said the same thing: &amp;quot;We are doing this for you.&amp;quot;When we arrived back in California, Sara had an emotional meltdown. She suddenly realized that she had separated from her family and that she was in a foreign land with two strangers who didn&amp;#039;t speak her language. Those first few months were hard because we couldn&amp;#039;t communicate with her. She would cry and scream but all Lance and I could do was hold her. It was so painful for all of us. Before we brought Sara home, I had this image in my head of a full, happy family; what I didn&amp;#039;t realize was that it takes time. Just because we were living together didn&amp;#039;t mean feelings of attachment, love, and trust would automatically appear. But slowly, Sara has opened up. She&amp;#039;s now happy, has dozens of friends at school, is learning English very fast, and just got a puppy. This past Christmas we decorated our tree together and then stood around it holding hands. When Lance said that it was our second Christmas together as a family, I thought to myself, Wow, we really are a family. People often tell us what a wonderful thing we did for Sara. But they don&amp;#039;t realize what she&amp;#039;s done for us -- she is an absolute blessing in our lives. LITA ANDERSON, 43, ALAMEDA, CA - As told to Jessica Decostole More StoriesI Was a Prostitute and a Crack AddictMy Husband Was Paralyzed in Iraq "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/mom-kids/advice/a1677/daughter-ethiopia/>