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"  1. Most Likely To Have Been Coached Camila. That glee when Juan Pablo returns is clearly for the sizzle reel she plans to send to PBS&amp;#039;s Zoom.  2. Most Intense Overreaction To A Destination Okay, I realize it is basically in the women&amp;#039;s contract to squeal over every place they go to (&amp;quot;EEEEEEEE! A FLOPHOUSE! THIS IS SOOOO AMAZEEN&amp;quot;) but the Loews Miami hotel is nothing to have an aneurism over. But then again, neither is Hobbiton, so. 3. Most... This.  What? 4. Most Appealing Alternate Candidate For The Bachelor Juan Pablo&amp;#039;s brother with kind eyes and adult braces. He never would have made Clare feel bad about having sex with him in the ocean. I bet he&amp;#039;d talk about his feelings sweetly and then make her a frittata in the morning. 5. Best Accidental Compliment This season sucks, in part, because the contestants&amp;#039; &amp;quot;goals&amp;quot; to win over Juan Pablo are so retro. Instead of establishing themselves as working, independent career women, they bend over backwards and backstab each other about who would be &amp;quot;the best mom&amp;quot; for Camila and who would put their entire life aside for the Galavises. When Nikki snarls that Sharleen isn&amp;#039;t the &amp;quot;type&amp;quot; to give up her life for Juan Pablo, she means it as shade, but it&amp;#039;s actually a good thing. 6. Most Thesaurus-Approved Ways To Say &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;s Just Too Dumb For Me&amp;quot; After a kissy yacht one-on-one date, a conflicted Sharleen says they&amp;#039;re lacking a &amp;quot;cerebral connection&amp;quot; (Juan Pablo does not know what &amp;quot;cerebral&amp;quot; means). &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m concerned about what&amp;#039;s propelling this relationship,&amp;quot; says Sharleen. His abs, dude. You know this, we know this.  7. First Time Renee Actually Says Something Kind Of Disagreeable As she House Moms Sharleen about not knowing how she truly feels about Juan Pablo in this brief time period, Renee says: &amp;quot;[Realizing someone is your soul mate] can take two weeks. You can know in two weeks.&amp;quot; Christ on a cracker. Slow your roll, Renee. We already have a Clare. 8. Moment In Which Juan Pablo&amp;#039;s Ex-Wife Is Not A Ghost Anymore Her name is Carla and she appears at Camila&amp;#039;s dance recital, albeit wordlessly. What&amp;#039;s she gonna say? &amp;quot;Get that would-be reality star with microbead extensions out of my daughter&amp;#039;s school?&amp;quot; Actually, I guess she could say that. Instead, she wins the Emmy for outstanding achievements in side-eye.  9. Worst Outfit To Play A Game Of Catch In That Amy Adams-in-American Hustle deep-V neck. Oh, Nikki. 10. Most &amp;quot;Shocking&amp;quot; Moment Of The Episode After at least two weeks of repetitive deliberation about whether this was all &amp;quot;organic&amp;quot; enough for her (hint: It&amp;#039;s The Bachelor), and many tears, Sharleen bails. Bye, Sharleen! 11. Most Adorably Bad Dancer Andi. Maybe Lawyers Can&amp;#039;t Dance, just like White Men Can&amp;#039;t Jump.   12. Bitchiest Fight Of The Season So Far We all knew the throwdown between Nikki and Clare was coming. You could feel the storm brewing. It was inevitable, like the fight your freshman year of college between the moody girl who wore only Free People and the former cheerleader who pretended to be fine but was depression-eating waffles for every meal at the dining hall. Eventually it devolves into Nikki ordering Clare to get out of her room, and Clare objecting to the term of ownership.    I&amp;#039;ve lost count of all the animal metaphors this season. 13. Weirdest Thing About People Saying &amp;quot;She Was Going To Get A Hometown&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;I Can&amp;#039;t Believe We&amp;#039;re Already At Hometowns&amp;quot; All these people have watched The Bachelor before. Eliminated: Chelsie, Sharleen (of her own volition). Previously:  20 Completely Bizarre Moments From The Bachelor: Week 6 15 Completely Bizarre Moments From The Bachelor: Week 5 16 Insane Moments From The Bachelor: Week 4 13 Insane Moments From The Bachelor: Week 3 14 Insane Moments From The Bachelor: Week 2 11 Insane Moments From The Bachelor Premiere The Bachelor: Countdown To Juan Pablo Recap   Follow Anna on Twitter.   Photo Credit: ABC "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a5633/bachelor-season18-episode7-recap/>