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" DEAR E. JEAN: I don&amp;#039;t even know how to explain this etiquette tangle! My husband and I enjoy a stable, happy marriage. My friend is also married to a great guy, and we see a lot of them socially. One recent evening after dinner at their house (and after some excessive goofing, flirting, and drinking), they disappeared into the back of their house. I confess that I was quite tipsy, so the following snippet is what I remember, with some assistance from later conversations with my husband. I followed our hosts, walked into their bedroom, saw them having sex, and fell down laughing on their bed! Then my husband came in and started making out with me. The four of us continued, till my friend&amp;#039;s husband reached over and grabbed my breast. My friend slapped his hand away, got up, and walked out. She was upset with her husband, I was upset by the whole situation, and my husband and I quickly left. For the rest of the night my friend and I texted. She filled me in on the fact that they were having troubles because her husband was cheating, and that there was enormous unhappiness. My husband and I are astonished at our own drunken stupidity, but we don&amp;#039;t want to lose our friends. How do we be respectful, yet help with the struggles in their marriage and get us all back to normal? I miss my friend!\u2014Locked Out MISS LOCKED, MY LUV: A frolic with the hosts after the profiteroles is always polite. But falling like a felled timber upon the marriage bed without an invitation, a nod, a smile, a &amp;quot;getoverhere&amp;quot; from your friend? Bah! Very bad manners. Apologize. Apologize again. Then send flowers. (It&amp;#039;s how you behave afterward that can destroy goodwill.) And stay the hell out of the marriage-counseling business! You&amp;#039;ve caused enough of a fuss. In a couple of weeks, invite them to a small dinner party with two other couples\u2014and if you don&amp;#039;t invite the friendliest bores of your acquaintance, you&amp;#039;re not the bright woman I take you for. Marriages are ever-changing, Miss Locked. There will be a new quagmire replacing this little muddle in no time. So enjoy your husband! I mean, how many good husbands do we have? Related:  Ask E. Jean: How Can I Cope With the Stress of Climbing the Corporate Ladder?  Related:  Ask E. Jean: I Was an Accidental Con Artist  Related:  Ask E. Jean: Why Certain Fantasies Are Off-Limits  "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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