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" Joe Klein is the latest person to be flummoxed by the Mystery That Is Newt Gingrich and, as he readily admits, Klein is a sucker of long-standing in this regard. In the latest issue of Time \u2014 no link because Time wants you to pay for this stuff \u2014 Joe confesses himself dazzled by Newt&amp;#039;s ineffable combination of brilliant policy-thinking and Dickhead Tourette&amp;#039;s. Joe was especially impressed by Newt&amp;#039;s expressed concern for poor black children. Why, Newt even offered to pay them $2 for every book they read. (This is the form of cheapskate paternalism that Joe prefers more than what he calls the old Democratic &amp;quot;suffocating paternalism.&amp;quot; Pater nostrums.) To hear Joe tell it, the only problem with Newt&amp;#039;s plan to fire &amp;quot;union janitors&amp;quot; \u2014 always &amp;quot;union janitors,&amp;quot; by the way, which is what we call a &amp;quot;tell&amp;quot; \u2014 is that he hasn&amp;#039;t proposed to use schoolchildren as cheap labor all over America. Somewhere in there, Klein confesses that he has had the best conversations on public policy he&amp;#039;s ever had with Newt \u2014 whereupon, Newt likely went out and blamed Democrats for drowning Susan Smith&amp;#039;s children.  Of course you did, Joe. Newt saw you coming a mile away, especially as you were someone who talked about the &amp;quot;suffocating paternalism&amp;quot; of the old welfare policies. A feint toward compassion here, a head-fake toward enlightened racial attitudes there, and, wowie, Joe&amp;#039;s head is spinning. What somehow never gets mentioned in all these pieces is that Newt never has seemed all that interested in actually enacting all these great ideas of his unless they somehow a) make him money, or b) make more money for the people who give him money so that they will have more money to give to him. These funds will be used to maintain Newt&amp;#039;s stunning popularity among the Undead. We may have to make this a regular feature around these parts. Newt Gingrich&amp;#039;s Sucker Of The Week. All of those defining issues are hooey, trundled out of Newt&amp;#039;s Magic Ideas Case that he keeps in his trunk to dazzle rubes like Joe Klein. The defining document of Newt&amp;#039;s political career is this one. Everything else is a shuck. Keep his list of words handy. Play a game. Every time Newt uses a word on his list, take a drink. Please stay away from heavy machinery. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a12006/joe-klein-newt-gingrich-6615553/>