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"Unless you&amp;#x27;re an on-duty lifeguard at a bondage resort, I can&amp;#x27;t quite figure out what use you could possibly find for Femme Noir &amp;quot;Swimgerie,&amp;quot; a line of bathing suits that are meant to look like they belong in the bedroom... They call themselves &amp;quot;a glamorous and couture line of lingerie-inspired swimwear,&amp;quot; and um, that&amp;#x27;s about the extent of their selling points (as the folks at Urban Daddy put it, &amp;quot;To the untrained eye, they might merely resemble unusually lacy swimsuits. But we&amp;amp;#8217;re here to report that... well, that&amp;amp;#8217;s exactly what they are.&amp;quot; It&amp;#x27;s pretty telling that my failsafe formula for looking ridiculous at the beach--a bikini with high heels--is featured all over Swimgerie&amp;#x27;s video catalog. And perhaps even more telling that the line&amp;#x27;s face (and booty!) is Playboy Playmate Ashley Mattingly, because honestly, who else would have occasion to wear one of these things except for a girl who frequents the grotto and has Hef on speed dial? What the heck do you dolls make of Femme Noir Swimgerie? Have you ever found yourself wishing your beach experience felt more like the bedroom!? Can you imagine yourself wearing &amp;quot;lingerie-inspired&amp;quot; swimwear? Discuss! PLUS... - The next generation in ridiculous underwear: Meet the &amp;quot;C-string&amp;quot; AND! - OMFG: You have to see &amp;quot;the clap-off bra&amp;quot; to believe it! More Ways to Get Glamour: Get the latest fashion updates via Twitter on @glamour_fashion Check our chic new Tumblr! Read Glamour magazine on your iPad! Like freebies? Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! Sign up for our fashion and beauty newsletters to get easy style tips (it&amp;#x27;ll make your inbox 10x sexier, we promise). And, did you know you can read glamour.com on your smart phone?! It&amp;amp;#8217;s the ultimate boredom buster. Want even more STF? Follow us on Twitter! Latest Tweets!Follow us on Twitter!jQuery(&amp;quot;.blog-tweets&amp;quot;).tweet({username:[&amp;quot;glamour_fashion&amp;quot;,&amp;quot;cindi_leive&amp;quot;], count: 3});"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/fashion/blogs/dressed/2011/04/omfg-who-the-heck-was-swimgeri>