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" Ginormous hair. It&amp;#039;s the first thing you notice when you look at Phi Lambda Chi pledge-class pics from the mid-&amp;#039;80s. Big, crunchy waves and gravity-defying bangs. But while they all sported the hair, the Greek letters, and the frosted lip gloss, each woman in these photos had her own distinct financial personality. &amp;quot;We start forming our ideas about money at a very, very young age, but college is the first time you&amp;#039;re in charge, the first time those ideas really express themselves,&amp;quot; says personal finance expert Carmen Wong Ulrich, author of The Real Cost of Living. Among these Phi Lamb sisters from the State University of New York, Geneseo, you&amp;#039;ll find a budding frugalista, a big spender, and every money mentality in between. They&amp;#039;re Sharon, Jonna, Sue, Nicole, and Melissa. All 44 now, they&amp;#039;ve experienced marriages and divorces, had children, forged careers, worked hard at home and outside of it. And while their financial personalities may have been formed during the age of Aqua Net, they continue to evolve as their lives \u2014 and the economy \u2014 constantly change. Today, nearly 25 years since graduation, Sue lives, as she says, &amp;quot;paycheck to paycheck,&amp;quot; while Sharon owns a thriving business. Nicole, who&amp;#039;s bounced back from bankruptcy, is going back to school; Jonna says she&amp;#039;s financially stable. And Melissa and her husband have a combined net worth of seven figures. These friends all started in similar financial circumstances \u2014 no trust funds, no head starts from parents \u2014 so how&amp;#039;d they end up in such different places? Can they improve their money habits, guide each other, and all live large \u2014 or at least comfortably \u2014 from now on? We sent in the experts to find the takeaway for them, and for the rest of us.  SHARON THEN Taught friends how to budget and bargain-hunt. DEFINING MOMENT Had a son at 39, found work-life balance. WHAT&amp;#039;S NEXT &amp;quot;I want to make &amp;#039;passive income&amp;#039; from my books and DVDs and retire comfortably,&amp;quot; says the executive and life coach. &amp;quot;Sharon never wasted money \u2014 ever,&amp;quot; says Melissa Radin of her sorority sister Sharon Lamm-Hartmann (pictured). &amp;quot;She was the one who divided up the electric bill and made sure we turned off the lights. She never blew money on clothes at the mall.&amp;quot; Sharon says she was just following her family&amp;#039;s example. &amp;quot;I had Depression-era parents who never wasted money; they even grew their own food. My dad devoted his life to supporting my three older sisters, my mom, and me.&amp;quot; Sharon, who has master&amp;#039;s and doctorate degrees, now owns an executive and life coaching business and earns an ample six figures. But Jonna Shutowick had the opposite reaction to a very similar childhood: &amp;quot;I was raised with a &amp;#039;put your money in a suitcase because you never know what&amp;#039;ll happen&amp;#039; mentality,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;But I saw too many older people in my family die without doing anything joyful with their lives.&amp;quot; So in college, Jonna chose happiness. &amp;quot;I figured, if you&amp;#039;re working too hard and stressed about money, you&amp;#039;re not having fun. I refused to live like that.&amp;quot; Her friend Sue Austin says Jonna succeeded: &amp;quot;Whatever she said we should do, we did. It always worked out.&amp;quot; Today, things still work out for Jonna: While she makes $52,000 a year as a teacher, she and her entrepreneur husband, who earns a mid-six-figure salary, have made pleasure a priority \u2014 traveling to Europe every summer, moving from upstate New York to Florida for the better weather (and paying two mortgages for a while), and telling their two sons they&amp;#039;ll send them to any college \u2014 always trusting that they&amp;#039;ll find some way (from racking up points to cover their travels to cutting back on takeout and taxis) to pay their bills. &amp;quot;Often, after a big trip, we&amp;#039;re down to zero,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;It can be stressful to play catch-up. My husband has to work more, and we cut back on spending. But I strongly believe in taking moderate risks to move forward. We never would have moved to Florida, which we now consider the best decision we&amp;#039;ve made, if we&amp;#039;d waited until we could actually afford it. I always figured I could go back to waitressing if need be \u2014 and I still feel that way.&amp;quot; Jonna and her husband aren&amp;#039;t totally winging it: They have emergency retirement reserves, and they&amp;#039;re frugal in other areas. &amp;quot;My car is 10 years old, and my clothes aren&amp;#039;t fancy,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;My money goes toward travel, because that&amp;#039;s what&amp;#039;s important to us.&amp;quot; Sharon and Jonna are classic examples of the different ways people react to their financial upbringing, says Dr. Brad Klontz, a psychologist, associate research professor in personal financial planning at Kansas State University, and coauthor of Mind Over Money: Overcoming the Money Disorders That Threaten Our Financial Health. &amp;quot;Children from families with extreme relationships to money will follow in their parents&amp;#039; footsteps or do the exact opposite&amp;quot; \u2014 and face the consequences. So how can women like Jonna strike a better balance? Jacquette Timmons, author of Financial Intimacy and the founder and CEO of Sterling Investments Management Inc., a financial coaching firm, says the key (which is not necessarily easy) is to take stock of your past and adjust your habits. Whatever your indulgence is, she says \u2014 travel, shopping, decorating \u2014 look at how much you&amp;#039;ve spent on it over the last three years. Calculate your average annual spending on it; then give yourself a goal of, say, 10 percent less (an amount that won&amp;#039;t overwhelm but will make a dent) and force yourself to stick to it. For example, you&amp;#039;d take a shorter trip to Europe or pick a cheaper destination. You still choose how to spend your money today \u2014 but you also sock away savings for the future.   SUE THEN Always at the ATM DEFINING MOMENT Separated and declared bankruptcy in 2001. WHAT&amp;#039;S NEXT &amp;quot;I still can&amp;#039;t get a credit card because of my bankruptcy. I&amp;#039;d like to get one \u2014 but as a cushion, just in case.&amp;quot; Back in college, it was the ATM that really got Sue (pictured). &amp;quot;There were machines outside the places we&amp;#039;d hang out on weekends, which was not good,&amp;quot; she says. Sue worked several jobs, but &amp;quot;when I was out having fun, I wasn&amp;#039;t thinking about the future.&amp;quot; Fifteen years after graduation, when she and her husband got divorced, she found herself overwhelmed with credit card bills, a mortgage, and two car payments. &amp;quot;We didn&amp;#039;t go crazy spending, but there were things we felt we needed, like a computer for my job and day care for our kids.&amp;quot; She had to file for bankruptcy, and even now, as a successful and fulfilled kindergarten teacher, the single mother of two can&amp;#039;t get a major credit card \u2014 and still feels financially clueless. She earns $62,000 a year and receives $1,200 a month in child support, but &amp;quot;by the time I get my paycheck, it&amp;#039;s sucked up by the mortgage, the car, the groceries. I get so irritated watching my money go so quickly that I often ignore the whole situation, and that gets me into trouble. There are so many times there&amp;#039;s a knot in my stomach, like, Am I gonna make it this month? I&amp;#039;m 44 years old \u2014 I should have more control over my money!&amp;quot; Women like Sue can turn things around, Klontz says: &amp;quot;It helps to understand that your financial problems are not the result of your being lazy, crazy, or stupid. They stem from subconscious beliefs and behaviors rooted in childhood. Also, financial loss is a real loss; declaring bankruptcy can feel like a death, and grieving is normal. But it doesn&amp;#039;t help to beat yourself up or bury your head in the sand. Instead, examine how past behaviors \u2014 overspending, taking big risks \u2013 have led you to this point.&amp;quot; Once you&amp;#039;ve really acknowledged your issues, it&amp;#039;s time to tackle the nitty-gritty. For instance, free tools on websites such as wesabe.com and mint.com will crunch your numbers, set up a budget, and send low-balance or bill alerts to your phone or computer. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s very gratifying and empowering to say, &amp;#039;Let me once and for all clean out the cobwebs of my financial life,&amp;quot; says Beth Kobliner, REDBOOK&amp;#039;s money expert and the author of Get a Financial Life. Nicole Ambarchian, a self-described risk taker whom Sue describes as &amp;quot;the creative free spirit of the group,&amp;quot; successfully beat denial. &amp;quot;I arrived at college knowing nothing about finances,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;I always worked, but I acted like money grew on trees, and I had expensive taste \u2014 my first big purchases were leather jackets and fancy perfume. After college, I turned a blind eye to spending, which led to major financial anxiety and debt.&amp;quot; When a work-related lawsuit left Nicole with nothing but a 401(k) and the roof over her head, she too declared bankruptcy, which forced her to take a cold, hard look at her life. She worked short-term at a bank to bring in more income, then she and her now-ex-husband came up with a plan for expanding his business. A few years later, Nicole set up her own jewelry-design business, recognizing the value in a job with low overhead and the flexibility she needed as a mom to young kids. But she says it was the tiny changes that had the biggest impact: &amp;quot;Making my own coffee, borrowing books from the library, and going to free events in town really added up,&amp;quot; says Nicole, who&amp;#039;s debt-free now. &amp;quot;All these things helped me see that I have enough in my life.&amp;quot; Budget tweaks do make a difference, Wong Ulrich says. But major outlays matter more. &amp;quot;After declaring bankruptcy, you have to &amp;#039;live smaller&amp;#039; than before. You need to assess the big-ticket items in your life \u2014 your home, your car \u2014 and figure out how to do with less of them.&amp;quot; This can mean moving into a smaller place or downsizing to a cheaper model. And, she adds, you need to make peace with the fact that it will take time, at least a few years, to bounce back financially. With Nicole&amp;#039;s kind of discipline, it&amp;#039;s possible.  JONNA THEN (pictured) Vowed to enjoy life more than her parents did. DEFINING MOMENT A &amp;quot;once-in-a-lifetime&amp;quot; trip to Paris in 2005. WHAT&amp;#039;S NEXT More European vacations. &amp;quot;We treat the trips like a game, see how many points we can use.&amp;quot; Melissa has a sophisticated portfolio of diversified investments \u2014 and, with her husband, a net worth in the low seven figures. But her earliest lesson in saving came in the form of little envelopes. &amp;quot;After my parents got divorced, when I was 11, things were very tight, and my mother had to quickly learn how to manage her money,&amp;quot; Melissa recalls. &amp;quot;She kept envelopes all over the house to save for things. From her, I learned to never spend money I didn&amp;#039;t have, to pay my bills religiously, and to save 10 cents of every dollar I earned, starting from when I worked two jobs in high school.&amp;quot; She also learned never to rely on a man to support her (a common trait among money-savvy women, according to Klontz). &amp;quot;After my parents&amp;#039; split, I thought I&amp;#039;d never want to get married, and I was concerned about being old, alone, and unable to retire,&amp;quot; Melissa says. So after getting a B.S. in business management and her master&amp;#039;s degree, she hired a financial planner and asked him to set up automatic deductions from her paycheck for retirement savings. And when, after just one date, Melissa fell madly in love, then eloped four months later, she brought $100,000 in savings into her marriage. Today, Melissa, a former banker and now a mom of two, an adjunct business professor, and the founder of a small business that helps other moms budget, says the lessons she learned years ago have buoyed her and her husband through the recession. They still stay conscious of every dollar they spend: &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t even go near the mall,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;The fact is, most self-made wealthy people work more and save more than less wealthy people do,&amp;quot; Klontz says. Indeed, Melissa and her husband spend most Saturday nights going out for Chinese food and bowling with friends, and she opts for at-home haircolor over going to the salon. &amp;quot;Before we spend anything, we ask each other, &amp;#039;How much are you willing to pay for that \u2014 and what are you willing to give up?&amp;#039;&amp;quot; And along with her sophisticated investments, Melissa still saves for luxuries like vacations or Broadway tickets just the way her mom did: with little envelopes. Sure, a business degree helps, but anyone can be as successful as Melissa, Wong Ulrich says: &amp;quot;It isn&amp;#039;t about how much you make. Every woman I know who&amp;#039;s confident about money has asked herself, &amp;#039;What&amp;#039;s on top of my need pyramid?&amp;#039; What you value and want most in life is on the top, and everything else is guided by filling that need. For many, the &amp;#039;need&amp;#039; to avoid debt and have total financial stability is their ultimate driving force.&amp;quot; Others might be willing to stretch a bit if they yearn for something else, like an advanced degree or a remodeled kitchen. But the key, says Wong Ulrich, is to identify your priorities and make a few sacrifices to stick to them. Do that and your past financial mistakes won&amp;#039;t matter any more than what your hair looked like 25 years ago.   The women here have the same questions you do about your financial future. These sites will answer them. FOR HELP WITH: Budgeting LOG ONTO: Wesabe.com: Pull together your bills, set up alerts, and tap into a community of people in your area for advice and tips on local discounts and deals. Mint.com: Set up your budget and get graphs and charts that help you clearly see where your money is really going. FOR HELP WITH: Coping with Credit Card Debt LOG ONTO: DebtAdvice.org: Get free credit, housing, and bankruptcy counseling. DebtorsAnonymous.org: Find help for compulsive debt issues. FOR HELP WITH: College Saving LOG ONTO: Savingforcollege.com: Here&amp;#039;s a one-stop site to research tax-free college savings accounts. FOR HELP WITH: Retirement  LOG ONTO: Dinkytown.net: Use their simple calculator to determine how much you really need to retire. FOR HELP WITH: Financial planning LOG ONTO: Garrettfinancialplanning.net lists the experts who won&amp;#039;t charge you a commission for their skills, just a flat fee. OUR MONEY MINDS: Brad Klontz, Psy.D., is a Financial Psychologist, Co-author of Mind Over Money: Overcoming The Money Disorders that Threaten Our Financial Health, and an associate research professor in personal financial planning at Kansas State University. Go to yourmentalwealth.com to take his Money Disorders Test to find out if you might have a money disorder, and how you can beat it (REDBOOK readers can use the code mindovermoney to take it for free). Jacquette M. Timmons is the author of the book Financial Intimacy and the founder and CEO of Sterling Investment Management Inc., an investment education and financial coaching firm. Carmen Wong Ulrich is a personal finance expert, a former host of CNBC&amp;#039;s On the Money, and a contributor to The Dr. Oz Show, Today, The View, and CNN. Her latest book is The Real Cost of Living. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/money-career/advice/a11328/secrets-to-making-more-money/>