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" I&amp;#039;ve been dating someone for a couple of months, and I&amp;#039;d love to get more serious, but I&amp;#039;m worried because he recently got out of a four-year relationship. He says it&amp;#039;s completely over, but he still talks to her on the phone and will even tell me to be silent when she calls. Does that really qualify as &amp;quot;over&amp;quot;? Not at all. That qualifies as a guy who seems a lot more concerned about his ex&amp;#039;s feelings than yours.  He clearly wants you to hit your mute button so that she doesn&amp;#039;t know about your existence. And that&amp;#039;s not being over her &amp;amp;#151; that&amp;#039;s being under her control. I&amp;#039;m not saying he&amp;#039;s a liar, because he might not realize that he still has feelings for her. But if he&amp;#039;s worried she&amp;#039;ll find out about you, it sounds like he&amp;#039;s hoping it might still work out.  Four years is a long time to be dating someone, and by my completely unscientific calculations, it&amp;#039;ll take him at least four months to get over her. That doesn&amp;#039;t make him a bad person, and it doesn&amp;#039;t mean the two of you could never work out. But for now, you need to tell him that, while it may be over in reality, you&amp;#039;re not convinced it&amp;#039;s over in his heart. And no matter what line he feeds you, tell him you don&amp;#039;t want to be his Plan B. Because until he&amp;#039;s not afraid to let this ex know about you, it&amp;#039;s not &amp;quot;completely over,&amp;quot; and he&amp;#039;s not boyfriend material. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a721/get-more-serious-after-long-term-relationship/?src=global_footer>