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" The other night, I was hanging out with a new friend (who shall, for the time being, remain nameless). I&amp;#039;d stopped by his place because I happened to be in his neighborhood, and we hung out for a while, talking about Faulkner. Or rather he talked about Faulkner, and I listened in rapt amazement to his brilliance. But he also drank like Faulkner; I think he was a little drunk when I arrived, and he proceeded to have maybe two or three more whiskeys in my presence. So, not surprisingly, the conversation eventually became a little flirty. And--when I stood up to get myself a glass of water--my new friend said, &amp;quot;Wait a second ... turn around. You know what? I&amp;#039;m really good at this: I bet I could guess your weight within five pounds. Want to wager on it?&amp;quot; I declined, saying, &amp;quot;If you guess wrong, and too high, my self-esteem could be, like, permanently ruined.&amp;quot; He replied, &amp;quot;Oh, come on. There&amp;#039;s nothing wrong with you. You have a perfectly fantastic athletic body.&amp;quot; Athletic!?!? What the hell! I hear that, and I think: He could have said thin ... but he didn&amp;#039;t. He consciously chose NOT to say thin. Instead, he said athletic. Which means muscular. Which means thick. Which is as good as saying fat! Which brings me to my first point.  I always want a guy to tell me I look skinny.  Now, yes, I know I sound like a real anti-feminist, saying this. But it pleases me to no end when people--male and female--say things like, &amp;quot;My god, you&amp;#039;re miniscule! Tiny!&amp;quot; Or, &amp;quot;Wow, what are you these days, a size two?&amp;quot; I know societal pressures have done some bad things to my body image (and to our collective body image); I won&amp;#039;t deny that. But I do love to feel petite. And that was one thing Jonas Singer was always very good at: emphasizing how teeny-meeny I seemed to him. Not only did he tell me, constantly, that I weighed next to nothing; he always tried to prove it by picking me up and carrying me around. And once, when I was sassing him as we walked down the sidewalk, he even grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder.  I always want to hear I look shockingly young.  Back to the other night. New Friend just made things worse after the &amp;quot;athletic body&amp;quot; debacle by trying to guess my age--and he got it right on the nose. Fishing for a compliment, I said, &amp;quot;Ah, too bad, I actually look as old as I am, huh?&amp;quot; He replied, &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re incredibly well-preserved for someone your age.&amp;quot; Oh, dear. Well-preserved??!! I felt like a canned sardine. Couldn&amp;#039;t he--just to be nice--have told me I looked like I&amp;#039;d just gotten back from shopping for my prom dress? Couldn&amp;#039;t he have told me my skin looked as soft and smooth as a a baby&amp;#039;s bottom? Couldn&amp;#039;t he, at the very least, have said, &amp;quot;Wow, you must be getting Botox, because you look terrific!&amp;quot;???  I also don&amp;#039;t mind it when guy say, &amp;quot;Now you--you&amp;#039;d I sleep with!&amp;quot;  Luckily, New Friend turned things around a few minutes later. He was describing some woman in his office who drove him nuts because she thought she was the cat&amp;#039;s meow; she&amp;#039;d dissed one of New Friend&amp;#039;s male co-workers who&amp;#039;d asked her out. &amp;quot;And this woman, she&amp;#039;s empirically attractive, I guess,&amp;quot; New Friend said. &amp;quot;But she totally lacks charisma! I&amp;#039;d never sleep with her--and I can&amp;#039;t imagine too many men who would.&amp;quot; Then, gratuitously, he turned to me, and almost out of the corner of his mouth, he said, &amp;quot;But you? You I&amp;#039;d sleep with in a second. You&amp;#039;ve got the je ne c&amp;#039;est quoi.&amp;quot; Now, sure, it&amp;#039;s a little embarassing, a little crude, when a guy says something like this. But I like to think it&amp;#039;s also his awkward, dorky way of flirting. Of trying to say, as directly as he can without downright asking for it, that he thinks you&amp;#039;re hot. Call me crazy, but I find it kind of endearing. Okay, guys, signing off. I think I&amp;#039;m going to post about all-time best date movies soon, so if you have any suggestions, hit me! xxx! "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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