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"FacebookPinterest\n\n \"What's crazy about this is I don't even LIKE Jews.\"\n\n \"Sorry it took me so long to get up here! I had a boner and I had to wait for it to go down.\"\n\n \"Now I can trade in my wife for KATHRYN BIGELOW!\"\n\n \"Suck it, Quvenzhan\u00E9 Wallis!\"\n\n \"Who has two thumbs and is doing coke off a hooker's ass tonight? THIS GUY!\"\n\n \"And thank you to the Ayatollah Khomeini for inspiring this film.\"\n\n \"I kind of feel bad that this award didn't go to the old lady.\"\n\n \"And thank you to Osama bin Laden for inspiring this film.\"\n\n \"Talk about torture! That tribute to Jerry Weintraub\u2014just waterboard me!\"\n\n \"And thank you to destitute French whores for inspiring this film.\"\n\n \"Speak American you snobby assholes: It's LAY MIZ.\"\n\n \"This one's for you, nu.\"\n\n \"Holy fuck balls! This is crazy! I mean WHAT THE SHIT?!\"\n\n \"And thank you to Hurricane Katrina for inspiring this film.\"\n\n \"Every once in a while, you people get it right.\"\n\n \"Oh my god and there's Meryl Streep! I'd like to wear her skin like a dress.\"\n\n \"I'm so in love with my brother right now!\"\n\n \"And to my beautiful, amazing, supportive wife, who's stood by me through it all: I want a divorce.\"\n\n \"I'd like to thank Zach Braff.\"\n\n \"OMGIWASN'TEXPECTINGTHIS!...SORRY! OMG! OMG!! HAHAHA. SORRY! THISISSUCHASURPRISE!!\"\n\n \"I'd like to thank my co-stars, Davy D. Lewis, Susan Fields, and Jacob Goldstein-Levitt\"\n\n \"If you work hard, dreams can come true. Also, hand jobs help.\"\n\n \"SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!\"\n\n \"OH MY GOD THIS WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE WITHOUT ALL THOSE SLAVES. Let's just take a minute to remember how awesome the slaves were.\"\n\n \"I think we should give Seth MacFarlane another chance.\"\n\n \"So who wants to know who's really gay in Hollywood. Huh? Huh?\"\n\n \"I'd like to thank my agent.\"\n\n More on GQ.com:\n\n Style Oscars: The Most Stylish Films of 2012\n The Worst Oscars Style of All Time\n Anti-Oscars: The Worst Films of 2012"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.gq.com/story/27-things-not-to-say-during-your-oscars-acceptance-speech>