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"Spanish has always been the metaphorical symbol of what was missing from me. It represented the questions I could never answer. Was I Hispanic? Did I qualify? Was I Latina? Latin American or just American? Was my ethnicity my race? I had never been to Mexico, so how could I be Mexican? I am from right here, the brown dirt, green grass and autumn breeze that had surrounded me my whole life. Yet Spanish and all that it asked of me still eluded me. Spanish tortured me with self-doubt. In the deepest parts of me, Spanish made me question if the sum of the parts was enough. It is now that I face my fears and try to conquer like the conquistadors, (if that&amp;#039;s really where I&amp;#039;m from.) As I said before, Spanish has always escaped me. Not only did she leave me lost, she left me stupid. It may have been my pride or stubborn will but every time I have ever tried to say anything my mouth has always failed me. Instead of riddling out a beautiful harmonious stream of sounds in a rich accent like Salma Hayek or Antonio Banderas, I st-st-st-stutter and stumble and lose all hope. So many times I thought, &amp;quot;If only these people knew how eloquently I speak in English.&amp;quot; The more my mind wanders to this topic I think, &amp;quot;Wow, this is how those people suffer.&amp;quot; Those people being anyone that ever tried to understand a second language, immigrants included. How they must feel coming to America. Having been to a university and graduated with a degree, to cross our boarders and have all titles stripped off them like clothing off their backs. I don&amp;#039;t mean just from Mexico, I mean from anywhere. I have been gifted with a family that is fluent in Spanish, but to think of others who have never heard English and their struggle, I have found myself humbled. After many years of ridicule from family, friends and strangers, my knowledge of my would be native language amounts to &amp;quot;Hola! C\u00F2mo est\u00E0s? Muy bien. Y tu? Mucho gusto, Igualmente.&amp;quot; For those of you like me, you know this is just enough to say, &amp;quot;Hello,&amp;quot; and smile politely before you run off and hide your head in shame. However, I am no coward. I did say that I am on the path to conquer the phantom Spanish. I enrolled in Spanish 1411 at my college as part of my degree plan. They say admitting you have a problem is the first step. Well I&amp;#039;m here to tell you, choosing to do something about it is the hardest. What I hope you understand my fellow Latina sisters and women of any color is, that going after what is missing from you is always the right thing to do. It&amp;#039;s only been a week and I can already spell my name. My beautiful, long and Hispanic name.    "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a4784/latina-like-me-yo-no-hablo/?click=rel>