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"  You&amp;#039;ve Facebook stalked and you know it. Maybe you&amp;#039;re Facebook stalking right now in another tab right next to this one. I&amp;#039;m here to tell you it&amp;#039;s nothing to be ashamed of \u2014 everyone&amp;#039;s lurked on someone&amp;#039;s Facebook page because they&amp;#039;ve hooked up with the person, or want to hook up with the person, or want to see the last person the stalkee has hooked up with. Of course, no one wants to be identified as Facebook creeping, so when you make your stalking obvious \u2014 which is awfully easy to do when you&amp;#039;re rolling two glasses of wine deep \u2014 it&amp;#039;s pretty embarrassing. But these Facebook stalking fails should be something we can bond over, rather than just feel horribly ashamed of.  1. The Search Bar Fail  Placing the name of the stalkee in your status instead of the search bar. Now as friends scroll through their news feeds looking at cat videos and engagement pics, they&amp;#039;ll see your status is simply &amp;quot;Alex Johnson.&amp;quot; Great work.   2. The &amp;quot;I Know Lots of Random Details About Your Life&amp;quot; Fail  Bumping into them IRL and asking about an event they attended five months ago that you&amp;#039;d only know about from looking at Facebook. &amp;quot;How was your sister&amp;#039;s best friends&amp;#039; baby shower?&amp;quot; is not a good conversation starter if you&amp;#039;re trying not to look like a huge creeper. Oh wait.  3. The Accidental Friending of Their Friends Fail  This is when you click on the profile picture of someone they are friends with on the mobile app, but accidentally send that person a friend request. There&amp;#039;s no going back from this \u2014 you can&amp;#039;t un-send a friend request. This person has no idea who you are, and once they see who your one mutual friend is, they&amp;#039;ll have your shady ways all figured out.  4. The Picture Tag Fail  You know when you upload a picture via the mobile app, and then proceeding to tag your friends and in doing so accidentally tag your stalkee because you were thinking about the person all day? FYI: you can&amp;#039;t remove a photo tag until you&amp;#039;re using the desktop version of Facebook. And desktop is so 2011 so this is just awful.  5. The Desperately Immediate Comment Fail   Timing is important on Facebook, and you don&amp;#039;t want to comment on a status update too quickly because it makes it look like all you do is wait for a person to post something. Even though this is something you actually DO, you are supposed to be doing it secretly. This one has an easy fix, fortunately: appear as though you&amp;#039;ve just stumbled upon an update by waiting at least 15 minutes before commenting.  6. The Unintentional Photo Like Fail  This is when you try to look at comments on a photo via the mobile app and accidentally giving it a Like. If this happens \u2014 particularly if it&amp;#039;s a photo of someone in a bathing suit \u2014 unlike the picture immediately. Unless the stalkee is on Facebook all the time, they won&amp;#039;t realize that you disappeared from their notifications.  7. The Over-Commenting Fail   This fail involves liking and commenting on every single one of someone&amp;#039;s posts. This could lead to all of their notifications being about you. Restraint, guys. Restraint.  8. The Keeping Your Browser Open to Their Profile for All to See Fail  Minimizing your browser without exiting their page. Let&amp;#039;s say a friend comes over to use your laptop, they open it up, and bam, the first thing they see is the photos from that bachelor party you were just gawking at. Unless they are your BFF, it will be hard to explain. Face it, you&amp;#039;re caught.   9. The Drunk Comment Fail  This needs no explanation. If you&amp;#039;re out getting blasted on cosmopolitans and he posts, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m so sore from the gym,&amp;quot; it will behoove you in the long run (meaning, the next morning when you wake up trying to remember everything you did last night) to resist the strong temptation to say something like, &amp;quot;Let me help you feel better... ;)&amp;quot; At least if you&amp;#039;re going to flirty talk, send him drunk texts.  If you&amp;#039;re ever in doubt about your ability to use that newfangled Facebook thing in a non-embarrassing way, do consider just not using it at all.  Want more from Dara? Follow her on Facebook and Twitter @dadeeyo.  Photo: HBO "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a4782/facebook-stalking-fails/?click=rel>