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"Today we&amp;amp;#8217;ve got a reader who&amp;amp;#8217;s about to move in with her boyfriend but has a big issue with her man&amp;amp;#8217;s current roomie (his best friend). Let&amp;amp;#8217;s help her talk this one out. She writes: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now and we&amp;#x27;ve decided to move in together. He just started renting the house on his own, and I&amp;#x27;m set to join him in a few months, so until then I&amp;#x27;m just weekending. Until I move in, he&amp;#x27;s asked his best friend if he wants to live in the spare room and split rent with him. I was totally cool with this until I found out his &amp;quot;best friend&amp;quot; has a few issues. He loves drinking and driving, bringing girls back to his place, and has started experimenting with drugs. AHH! I do not want someone like that living with my boyfriend! That just smells like trouble to me. When I brought up my concerns with my boyfriend, he told me that it wasn&amp;#x27;t fair of me to judge his friend. He couldn&amp;#x27;t believe I disapproved and that I was making his friend sound &amp;quot;like a terrible person.&amp;quot; After that I told him I would not be moving in or hanging around the house if his &amp;quot;friend&amp;quot; was still living there. To which he told me he wouldn&amp;#x27;t choose between his best friend and his girlfriend. Was it wrong for me to ask that of him? Honestly I&amp;#x27;m trying to look out for him, but is it none of my business? Sincerely, Bad Girlfriend? First of all, you are NOT a bad girlfriend. You&amp;amp;#8217;re about to make a really big commitment to your partner and you need to be 100 percent sure of the situation before doing so. You are not overreacting and it&amp;amp;#8217;s better to talk about this sort of stuff now, before you do move in. To get to the bottom of this one, I asked two of my friends&amp;amp;mdash;a guy and a girl&amp;amp;mdash;what they thought about it. My girl friend thinks: &amp;amp;#8220;Whoa, this is tough but I really don&amp;amp;#8217;t think she is being crazy. Does the BF do drugs and does he want random girls in his apartment? What if they steal something? This guy doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t sound like someone who would be paying rent on time either. Woof. I mean, she didn&amp;#x27;t sign up for moving in with her boyfriend of two years AND a man-child AND whoever he is bringing home. Was this friend in the picture before she decided to move in with them and she&amp;amp;#8217;s just having a change of heart? If so, she may need to accept things. But if the plan was to move in and take the next step in the relationship and then she found out man-child + flavor of the week was moving in, I&amp;amp;#8217;d be kinda like WTF too.&amp;amp;#8220; But my guy friend thinks: &amp;amp;#8220;I think that she is overreacting. It&amp;#x27;s not her BF that&amp;amp;#8217;s doing anything wrong. She can&amp;#x27;t hold him responsible for the stuff his friend is doing. I mean, if the friend&amp;amp;#8217;s single, then who cares if he&amp;#x27;s bringing girls home. That&amp;amp;#8217;s what single guys in their 20s (or whatever) do. I think the real issue is if this girl and her boyfriend are moving in together&amp;amp;mdash;they should just move in together. They don&amp;amp;#8217;t need to do a three&amp;#x27;s company kind of thing. Besides, is the boyfriend going to want to have that kind of situation once the girl moves in? Ultimately, it just sounds like they aren&amp;#x27;t ready to move in together.&amp;amp;#8221; My take? I agree with both of my friends. I wonder why there&amp;amp;#8217;s a delay in moving in together if you and your boyfriend have talked about, feel ready, and have a place set up. Are you doing a trial run with the weekend visits for now to be completely sure? That&amp;amp;#8217;s fine if that&amp;amp;#8217;s the case, but then you can&amp;amp;#8217;t be upset with your boyfriend for inviting a friend to help split the rent. My real concern is whether or not you knew the best friend during the past two years or not. My guess is that he&amp;amp;#8217;s not a new addition to your friend circle. If you&amp;amp;#8217;re really concerned about the partying, that&amp;amp;#8217;s what you need to talk to your guy about. You just can&amp;amp;#8217;t go all mom on the friend. He&amp;amp;#8217;s allowed to make his own decisions as long as they&amp;amp;#8217;re not affecting you or your guy (but do get the boy a designated driver!). But&amp;amp;#133; you should also have some trust in your boyfriend. As long as he&amp;amp;#8217;s not partaking in the roomie&amp;amp;#8217;s shenanigans, there&amp;amp;#8217;s really no harm done. If you really are moving in with this guy, that&amp;amp;#8217;s a major commitment and typically the first step toward engagement, marriage, kids, etc. If you&amp;amp;#8217;re nervous that your BF is partying and possibly hooking up with random girls because of the &amp;amp;#8220;easy access&amp;amp;#8221;, you guys might not be ready to move in together. If you&amp;amp;#8217;re talking about taking such a big step in your relationship, he wouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t be tempted by anything. Also, what happens to this best friend when you move in? Is there already a set date for you to move in and for him to move out? If not, I&amp;amp;#8217;d start planning that to make sure that your romantic little duo doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t become an overcrowded threesome. I know I&amp;amp;#8217;d be annoyed if I was living with my guy AND a friend who&amp;amp;#8217;s still acting like he&amp;amp;#8217;s in college. That&amp;amp;#8217;s really what you need to talk to your boyfriend about. He doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t need to choose between the two of you, but there should be some end goal in sight so you guys can move on together. In the meantime, why don&amp;amp;#8217;t you just enjoy your weekends with your guy? He can&amp;amp;#8217;t be with the wild roomie when he&amp;amp;#8217;s with lovely you! What do you guys think? Would you be peeved if your boyfriend&amp;amp;#8217;s roomie was partying like crazy? Should she be worried about her relationship, or force the roomie out so she can move in? Do you agree with my girl friend, guy friend, or me? "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2013/05/readers-dilemma-im-moving-in-w>