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"  The first time my friend ever said &amp;quot;I love you&amp;quot; to his girlfriend, he blurted it out during sex. Most guys have it right, though; either they don&amp;#039;t think, or they think simply: &amp;quot;Yeah, getting laid is AWESOME.&amp;quot; Aside from hoping she enjoys it and wondering she&amp;#039;s evaluating my performance, my mind dredges up the following strange things during sex:  How Did I Get Here?  I build a mental bread crumb trail up to the moment of triumph: What did I say/do over the last 24 hours? If I could find common steps between all the times I got laid, I&amp;#039;d have a reliable system.   What if I Miss?  I&amp;#039;ve wondered, mid-thrust: What if I miss and hit a pelvic bone? I&amp;#039;d sustain major injury to myself and, depending on how hard I thrusted, I might even hurt her!  Ecstasy on the Bottom, Agony on the Top  I&amp;#039;m lazy and out of shape. If I can relax, lay back, and enjoy sex in a given position, it&amp;#039;s great. When I&amp;#039;m on top too long, I have that feeling I had in Bikram yoga: &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t know if I can handle this much longer.&amp;quot; I challenge myself to keep going, as if I was in the Army.  What Are My Friends Doing Right Now?  When you build something up in your mind, it&amp;#039;s not as great as you thought it would be when it actually happens. For me, sex has been all about anticipation, and not so much about the actual act. So, I wonder if I&amp;#039;m missing something more fun that my buddies are doing.  Super-Random Thoughts  Sex must release chemicals in my mind that stimulate random thoughts like: &amp;quot;The 29th President of the United States was Warren Harding.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Wombats are marsupials.&amp;quot; ...or I&amp;#039;ll suddenly remember where I misplaced my keys in 2004. Perhaps my mind is just racing and jumbled.  Don&amp;#039;t Ejaculate, but STAY HARD!  All guys want to be Energizer Bunnies. So, when things are hot and heavy, I just think of anything other than what&amp;#039;s turning me on to keep from ejaculating too soon. But it&amp;#039;s a delicate balance because I don&amp;#039;t want to compromise my erection! Lost erection is a disaster!  Your Best Friend, My 3rd Grade Teacher  We know women imagine other people during sex. So do guys. While I&amp;#039;m screaming her name, I may well be thinking of her hot sister, her best friend, my third-grade teacher, Smurfette... or Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco. Just kidding about him (maybe).   Mental Notes  I pay close attention to reactions. She may like certain things, which I&amp;#039;ll put in my memory bank as &amp;quot;go-to&amp;quot; moves. If she dislikes something I&amp;#039;ll stop immediately and never do it again, and I&amp;#039;ll feel incredibly awkward. Trial and error \u2014 so sad that that is my method.  Time Parameters  Super-long sex gets awkward like a drunk, rambling best man speech at a wedding. If it&amp;#039;s too long, I&amp;#039;ll wonder if she wants to get it over with. And, if it&amp;#039;s too short a time period, I&amp;#039;m embarrassed and I&amp;#039;m pretty sure she&amp;#039;s not happy.  The Room Around Us  I&amp;#039;ve done the TV glance during sex. And creepy surroundings draw my attention, like a nearby picture of her mother, who seems to be staring at us while we&amp;#039;re going at it.  My cats have a way of materializing at the worst moments. I&amp;#039;ve peeked around the room for them while having sex before. And, if we are near breakable objects, or other precarious areas, I&amp;#039;ll try to steer the whole operation to a safer location, while hoping she doesn&amp;#039;t notice.  Birth Control Thoughts  I&amp;#039;ll curse whatever birth control device is driving me crazy \u2014 usually the condom, with its propensity to ruin moments. And, of course, I worry about pregnancy \u2014 how well the birth control precautions are actually working.  Do I Really Like This Person?  Sometimes I wonder: What am I doing? Will this happen again? Do I even really like this person that much? Come to think of it, do they like me this much?   That&amp;#039;s a Bad Beat  Despite my riverdance skills, I don&amp;#039;t have rhythm. I&amp;#039;ll recall music class where the teacher said: &amp;quot;Every-bod-y-keep-a-stead-y-beat,&amp;quot; and go from there once the woman and I get into a rhythm.  The Orgasm Goal  Everything I do is based on trying to get the girl to orgasm. And we all know a female orgasm is more complicated and elusive than a male orgasm, so that just adds pressure! It&amp;#039;s no coincidence that my sexual encounters have not been satisfying, because I worry too much and don&amp;#039;t lose myself in the moment. Let me toss the question back to you: What are women thinking about during sex? Are we constantly having our performance evaluated? "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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