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"  The weekend getaway with friends is second only to the weekend getaway with a boyfriend on the chart of &amp;quot;vacations that will induce more stress than fun.&amp;quot; But Marnie, being the type-A nightmare that she is, is undeterred by this fact, and in &amp;quot;Beach House&amp;quot; resolves to host a &amp;quot;healing&amp;quot; trip to the Hamptons with the other girls. Excuse me, the North Fork \u2013 &amp;quot;it&amp;#039;s for people who think the Hamptons are tacky and don&amp;#039;t want to be on a beach that&amp;#039;s near a J.Crew.&amp;quot; Naturally, the trip is a disaster. No one notices the thoughtful, hand-drawn place cards Marnie makes to denote which bedroom belongs to which person, no one likes the duck that she cooks for dinner, and no one likes the rocky Long Island beach that doubles as a wind tunnel. Marnie especially doesn&amp;#039;t like it when Elijah shows up with his new boyfriend and two other friends, who crash the dinner party and skinny dip in the mom&amp;#039;s friend Suzanne&amp;#039;s nice swimming pool. This all leads to one of the epic blowouts between friends that Girls does so well. Hannah gets called a narcissist by pretty much everyone, Marnie gets called out for being depressed and sort of awful, and Shoshanna reveals herself to be an extremely cruel drunk. In the morning, though, all is forgiven, and the girls team up to clean the totally trashed house. You know it&amp;#039;s real friendship when you can get day-drunk and scream at each other one day, then dance together at the bus stop the next. This show is your life: -Marnie is borrowing the beach house from her mom&amp;#039;s friend Suzanne, because no person under the age of 45 has enough money to even rent a house in the Hamptons. -Hannah&amp;#039;s bikini is definitely from American Apparel, and it is definitely too small for her, but not through any fault of her own. It is a well known fact that those bathing suits only fit malnourished children. -Marnie admits that part of her motivation for organizing the trip was to &amp;quot;prove to everyone via Instagram that we can still have fun as a group.&amp;quot; -Jessa saw Shoshanna reading the newspaper on her phone once, which is the only way anyone under 30 reads anything anymore. A+ for accuracy! This show is not your life: -Hannah walks around in that wet bikini for the entire day, and just looking at her makes me feel like I have a yeast infection. Didn&amp;#039;t she bring a spare caftan or something? -Elijah&amp;#039;s friend Gerold is a choreographer, which of course leads to him teaching the girls a dance so they can videotape it for posterity/YouTube. While this seems plausible enough, how did this group of drunk people with very little rhythm make a dance that looked that good? Those North Fork Fizzes must be magic. Follow Eliza on Twitter. Photo credit: HBO "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/tv/reviews/a20617/girls-episode-7-recap/>