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" I used to be good friends with my neighbor, but over the past couple of years, she has stopped speaking to me and doesn&amp;#039;t even acknowledge me unless another mutual friend is near. I&amp;#039;ve tried confronting her, and she insists nothing is wrong. However, I&amp;#039;m tired of getting the cold shoulder and having her dis me to all our friends. To make matters worse, we have kids who are the same age and are also friends. What should I do? --L.G., 36, Erie, PA As you&amp;#039;ve probably realized, you can&amp;#039;t make someone want to be your friend. This is as true for adults as it is for fourth-graders. If you&amp;#039;ve tried discussing the situation with your neighbor and you&amp;#039;ve even gone so far as to say, &amp;quot;Look, Sheila, I don&amp;#039;t know what&amp;#039;s going on with what I thought was our friendship. If I&amp;#039;ve done anything to hurt or offend you, please tell me and let me try to make it right,&amp;quot; and she refuses to engage, then there&amp;#039;s nothing more you can do. You haven&amp;#039;t to your knowledge done anything that might have contributed to your friend&amp;#039;s disenchantment (such as, oh, I don&amp;#039;t know, dating her ex-husband), have you? If this woman dumped you for no reason, you&amp;#039;re better off without her. Let it go. She can&amp;#039;t give you the cold shoulder if you&amp;#039;re not expecting any warmth. When she disses you to your friends, you&amp;#039;ll just have to make like a balloon and rise above it. Presumably, you know of your neighbor&amp;#039;s gossiping about you because a mutual friend snitched on her. Do not, do not, do not get into it. First, because that friend will most likely go right back to your neighbor (you went to middle school, you know how it works), and second, because you&amp;#039;re better than that. The best response you can give in this situation is some variation on &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m sorry Sheila feels that way.&amp;quot; Then, just change the subject. As far as your children playing together goes, let them. You can pick them up and drop them off without having to interact with this ex-friend. Although it may seem as if your kids will be affected by this crumbling friendship, the degree to which they couldn&amp;#039;t care less might surprise you. Depending on their age, they&amp;#039;re too obsessed with their Robosapiens -- or Dora the Explorer, or texting, or whatever -- to notice any awkwardness between their respective parents. The bottom line is this: By taking the high road, you&amp;#039;ll prove to yourself -- and your friends -- that you&amp;#039;re too good for this unkind woman.   Award-winning writer Karen Karbo is the author of How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great. She&amp;#039;s also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner. Send your questions to her at: The Hard Stuff, REDBOOK, 300 W. 57th St., New York, NY 10019 or karenkarbo@redbookmag.com. Letters may be edited for clarity and length, and must include your initials, age, city, and state. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/q-and-a/a1575/getting-dissed-hs/>