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"  Dear E. Jean: I met this guy on a trip to Milan. We both work in the media, and we hit it off when he cracked a joke about how he was afraid I might be &amp;quot;one of those bitchy fashionista girls who are out of his league.&amp;quot;  I am. (Or was.)  I saw him again in Tokyo. This time, he was cool and aloof, so I retaliated by treating him like mud on my Choo. Of course, he came crawling back. We had dinner in Paris (I gave up other plans to see him) and went back to his hotel to &amp;quot;watch a DVD,&amp;quot; code for sex. I told him how much I liked him, and he said I couldn&amp;#039;t be more perfect. We had three incredible weeks together in France.  On the flight back home to New York City, I felt uncomfortable &amp;quot;down there.&amp;quot; Two days later, I couldn&amp;#039;t even sit down. I went to my doctor and discovered I had herpes. I was so angry, I immediately called him. He swore he hadn&amp;#039;t had an outbreak for five years. I forgave him, but I would have liked him to show a little more compassion.  However, the next day, I completely lost it and called him every name in the book. He said he&amp;#039;d never speak to me again.  Since then I&amp;#039;ve sent him an e-mail apologizing. He never replied. Don&amp;#039;t I deserve a response? This guy has wasted my life and ruined my health! My future prospects with any other man are now destroyed. I have a dirty little secret and feel the scarlet letter H burning into my flesh. Yes, we used condoms, but apparently they&amp;#039;re not 100 percent foolproof. I&amp;#039;ll no doubt run into him at some media event in New York, and I need to figure out how to handle him. I don&amp;#039;t want to walk in looking like the loser he made me realize I am.  I&amp;#039;m not fabulous enough anymore to act like he doesn&amp;#039;t exist. So what should I say when we meet?\u2014Three L&amp;#039;s in One: Leper, Loser, and Lowlife  My dearest L: Oh, please. You can stride into that room, lock eyes, and salute him with a simple &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve been burning to see you, you clod.&amp;quot; Of course, your doctor will be shocked to be addressed as a &amp;quot;clod,&amp;quot; but no matter. Your physician laid some cold-blooded bullshit on you and needs a comeuppance.  Oh. You thought at first I was talking about the dude in Paris? He&amp;#039;s a cad (and we&amp;#039;ll get to him in a moment). What I want to know is: What century is your doctor living in, for God&amp;#039;s sake? What kind of cretin from the dark ages permits you to leave the examination believing your &amp;quot;future prospects&amp;quot; are &amp;quot;destroyed&amp;quot;?  I&amp;#039;ve read your letter to the celebrated New York dermatologist Dr. Doris Day ( Myclearskin.com), and she wants you to know: &amp;quot;You have every reason to be as confident as ever. Taking medication\u2014 either Valtrex or Famvir\u2014will clear up your symptoms and in most cases allow you to be intimate without being contagious to your future partners.&amp;quot; Dr. Day added, &amp;quot;You may turn out to be one of the fortunate people who experiences only one outbreak in her life. And this may be the case with the man in Paris. He should have been taking the medication but probably felt no symptoms and believed he wasn&amp;#039;t putting you at risk. Bottom line: With a prescription, you&amp;#039;ll be fine. Your prospects are as wonderful as they ever were.&amp;quot;  So there: You have your &amp;quot;wasted&amp;quot; life back. Take your medication, and Dr. Day says you can reduce the risk of passing on the virus. But I&amp;#039;m old-school. There&amp;#039;s no cure for herpes. I&amp;#039;m outraged the guy didn&amp;#039;t tell you. So when you meet him, no need for bonhomie. A simple &amp;quot;Pardon me if I don&amp;#039;t speak; I&amp;#039;ve seen enough of you to last a lifetime&amp;quot; should be sufficient. And when you meet someone wonderful, do him the favor of explaining that you are protecting both of you by taking your medication. E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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