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"One Smitten reader is in a position we all know too well: We hookup with a guy and then we catch feelings, but he&amp;#x27;s happy just the way things are. What to do? She writes: I met this guy on a cruise about eight months ago. Surprisingly, he lived in my town and worked in the same company as I did. We hooked up on the cruise and got each other&amp;#x27;s number for when we got home. We still hang out often and we&amp;#x27;re pretty close, but he doesn&amp;#x27;t want anything more than hooking up. We both know we like each other, but I don&amp;#x27;t know what to do. It&amp;#x27;s all kind of frustrating to me. Dear Frustrated, Here&amp;#x27;s my version of tough love. You&amp;#x27;re probably not going to like what I have to say, but if you want to turn things around, listen up: Stop hooking up with him. It sounds like he&amp;#x27;s been clear with you that he&amp;#x27;s not looking for a relationship, and if you are, then continuing to be sexual with him will just add to your confusion. Take his &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; for an answer. That being said, don&amp;#x27;t beat yourself up for whatever has happened in the past. You can still change the dynamic as long as you recognize that you&amp;#x27;re the prize here, NOT him. Now comes the hard part: back away and do nothing. Easier said than done, right? I know, but if you he really likes you then he will come after you once you&amp;#x27;re showing less interest. Chasing guys rarely, if ever, works. Let him see what he&amp;#x27;s missing and, in the meantime, take back your power. He should be the one initiating contact, and when he does, be friendly but don&amp;#x27;t give in to hooking up or having the &amp;quot;what are we?&amp;quot; talk. He&amp;#x27;s already told you. I can promise that if he&amp;#x27;s the right man for you, then he will show up and do the work. If he doesn&amp;#x27;t, you&amp;#x27;ll already be well on your way to getting over him. What do you guys think of my advice? What do you think she should do? Have you ever successfully turned a hookup into a relationship? More on hooking up: * 7 Ways to Tell It&amp;amp;#8217;s Just a Hookup * The Ladies&amp;#x27; Guide to Catching and Keeping Your Booty Call * Does He Want A Girlfriend, Or Just A Hookup? 6 Ways You Can Tell Photo: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2012/05/readers-dilemma-how-do-i-turn>