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"Exactly one year ago, Jon and Kate Gosselin, stars of TLC&amp;#039;s Jon &amp;amp;amp; Kate Plus 8, appeared with their eight children on the cover of Good Housekeeping. The couple shared the secrets of staying close as they struggled to meet the demands of raising twins Mady and Cara, now 9, and sextuplets Alexis, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, Leah, and Joel, now 5. Allowing cameras to catch their unscripted bickering \u2014 along with the tender moments \u2014 endeared them to millions of viewers over the show&amp;#039;s first four seasons. Kate said at the time, &amp;quot;People see us arguing, and they say, &amp;#039;When will Kate and Jon split up?&amp;#039; Well, never. He&amp;#039;s the only one who&amp;#039;s been by my side through all of this.&amp;quot; But by their 10th wedding anniversary last June \u2014 after months of tabloid reports about marital trouble \u2014 the Gosselins had filed divorce papers. Kate&amp;#039;s only public explanation for the split: &amp;quot;Our goals are different.&amp;quot; Kate knows her priorities: She&amp;#039;s laser-focused on making the best life for her kids, and making sure she stays strong for them as the curveballs keep coming her way. She&amp;#039;s also turbocharging her career, which seems only to be on the rise since the split; beyond planning the show&amp;#039;s episodes and her speaking engagements, she&amp;#039;s even guest-hosted The View. During this tremendous time of transition, Kate sat down with GH for a frank talk about her new life. Kate, you seem to be doing amazingly well under all this pressure. KG: I&amp;#039;m just doing what I have to do. I&amp;#039;ve learned to deal with stress. In fact, things that would make the next person go over a cliff don&amp;#039;t even make my radar anymore. Would they make the old Kate go over a cliff? You seem to go with the flow more these days. KG [laughing]: Oh, the old Kate would be long over the cliff! So it&amp;#039;s a good thing that I&amp;#039;ve put things in perspective. I realize that life isn&amp;#039;t perfect \u2014 it can&amp;#039;t be perfect. I can drive myself nuts trying to make it perfect, or I can just have a lot of fun with the kids. Since I tend to dramatize things, I have taught myself to take a deep breath and ask if it&amp;#039;s really as bad as it seems. I realized that if I handled the issues that come my way the way I used to handle them, I would probably have a heart attack. I don&amp;#039;t really freak out about everything anymore \u2014 I can&amp;#039;t afford to. I shock myself a lot with how I just handle things. I&amp;#039;m focusing on my kids: I cannot fail them. How does that attitude translate in terms of your relationship with Jon? KG: Our relationship is getting there. I had a peaceful conversation with him yesterday. That doesn&amp;#039;t happen all the time, but my goal is peace. Honestly, when I speak to him on the phone or see him in person, if I&amp;#039;m able to just picture the old Jon, I&amp;#039;m all right. I&amp;#039;m just leaving aside the hurt and the pain and the yuckiness of it. Because I don&amp;#039;t want to argue; I don&amp;#039;t want war. I don&amp;#039;t want it for the kids, and I don&amp;#039;t want the exhaustion of it. I just want solutions and resolution, and so I have to conduct myself in a certain manner.   A year ago, you sat down with GH and said that since your marriage had survived the tough early years with multiples, you felt you could get through anything. What has this situation taught you about that idea? KG: Just when you think life is tough, it can get a lot tougher.  As your marriage ended, was your faith shaken? KG: I&amp;#039;m still breathing because I have faith. My faith and my kids are the two things that matter. I&amp;#039;m going through this with my kids right now. They kind of feel shaken, and &amp;quot;Jesus loves you, no matter what&amp;quot; comes up a lot. Cara started asking me every night, &amp;quot;Did you turn the alarm on?&amp;quot; I&amp;#039;d tell her, &amp;quot;Yes, I did.&amp;quot; She&amp;#039;s feeling a bit vulnerable, so we&amp;#039;ve had discussions about how it doesn&amp;#039;t matter if it&amp;#039;s on or not, Jesus is watching you, he&amp;#039;s with you, and that comforts me. Can you reply to those who say you should have quit TV \u2014 handled things privately? KG: All they&amp;#039;d need to do is walk a mile in my shoes, and they&amp;#039;d understand. The show is not a regret. With a reality show, the bottom line is, there&amp;#039;s no plot; there&amp;#039;s no finale. How did you tell the kids about the divorce? And how are they handling it? KG: We just discussed the situation with the kids as it would affect them day-to-day. It wasn&amp;#039;t surprising to them, because over the past year, I&amp;#039;d been traveling a lot, so frequently it was just one parent at home. I remember when we decided to separate that I felt grateful for that year, because it prepared us all for this. The kids are OK. They go through their &amp;quot;I miss Daddy&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;Why can&amp;#039;t both of you be here?&amp;quot; I try to point them in the positive direction: &amp;quot;Remember how we did July 4 together? I hope to do more holidays together.&amp;quot; They go, &amp;quot;Oh, yeah...yeah!&amp;quot; Let us ask you this: Is there any silver lining to this experience? It seems as if you&amp;#039;re more playful in the moment. Is that a new thing for you? KG: Yes, I&amp;#039;m trying to be more in the moment, and to challenge myself, too. The boys pushed a screen out of the window a while ago, and I remember getting extra mad, because it was dangerous and also, how the heck do you put a screen back in? And it took me 20 minutes \u2014 the film crew was there filming me, and I&amp;#039;m thinking, Great \u2014 but I did it. I figured out how to maneuver the screen in, and I was like, &amp;quot;Yeah, I did that!&amp;quot; And what&amp;#039;s the hardest part of the divorce? KG: It&amp;#039;s hardest when it&amp;#039;s not my custody days, and I&amp;#039;m not with them. I want to be with them. I love them. I don&amp;#039;t feel like I have enough time with them normally, let alone now, having to split the time. When I&amp;#039;m home, I&amp;#039;ll be on the phone or doing paperwork and they&amp;#039;ll come hug me. Alexis, the famous house-wanderer, will come by and say, &amp;quot;Oh, I just want a kiss...&amp;quot; It&amp;#039;s awesome. And making decisions is hard, not having anyone to bounce ideas off of \u2014 and darn, after getting the kids to bed, there&amp;#039;s me, rattling around the house. It&amp;#039;s lonely.  What gets you through the hard moments, and those mornings when you really don&amp;#039;t want to get out of bed? KG [after a pause]: My kids need breakfast. I have to get up because they matter, and what good would it be if I wallowed in self-pity? Sometimes I&amp;#039;m like, &amp;quot;OK, I know I&amp;#039;ve said it before, but now I&amp;#039;m really done this time!&amp;quot; And saying that somehow makes me feel better, as if I have a choice [to give up]. It&amp;#039;s been a very unpredictable and shocking year, which is why it&amp;#039;s a little scary to open my eyes some mornings. I am aware I could fall apart. It&amp;#039;s been the hardest thing I&amp;#039;ve ever done, just to keep going, putting one foot in front of the other. When I run, I just watch my feet go, and think, One foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other, and that&amp;#039;s how I feel. Eventually I will get through all of this.  Do you feel like you have a good support system in place? KG: I&amp;#039;m blown away by the support I&amp;#039;ve gotten \u2014 from fans, from people I knew just a bit who turn out to be going through the same thing, from the kids&amp;#039; school. Before school started, I went to a pool party for the third grade. I was really apprehensive about showing up; you know, here I am, The Single Mom. I didn&amp;#039;t know how the other parents would receive me. They went out of their way to let me know they are there for me, offering to pick up the kids, take them home from school. And my best friend, Jamie \u2014 she&amp;#039;s getting divorced, too, but is further along \u2014 reminds me that I will get through this. We have such a small circle of friends \u2014 we&amp;#039;ve lost so many because they get tired of the scrutiny, of being in the public eye \u2014 that I&amp;#039;m so grateful when someone will be there, just to be a sounding board. It&amp;#039;s something Mady and Cara are struggling with now, the &amp;quot;true friend&amp;quot; issue. I just tell them, &amp;quot;Always be kind, and if they are your friends, they will stick with you through anything, and if not, they wouldn&amp;#039;t anyway.&amp;quot; Same lesson for kids as adults. Do you still hope for a lasting marriage? KG: I know I&amp;#039;m not getting married again. Wait, I don&amp;#039;t want to say never, because then you&amp;#039;re going to play that tape back for me! [laughs] How about advice for other moms going through a divorce? KG: Keep your eye on the goal. For me, the goal is to produce eight individuals who will actively contribute to society in a positive way. I want them to be as happy in their careers as I am in mine. It might come with a struggle, but if I could have eight out of eight who are doing something wonderful in their own eyes, contributing to society in a positive manner, that would be success. Mady says, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m going to be the first woman President,&amp;quot; and I say, &amp;quot;Go for it!&amp;quot; Then she says, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m going to make paparazzi illegal. Can I do that?&amp;quot; I say, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m sure you can.&amp;quot; And then she asks, &amp;quot;Will you vote for me?&amp;quot; I say, &amp;quot;Absolutely!&amp;quot; Anyone I gave birth to, I&amp;#039;m voting for! "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/inspirational-stories/interviews/a18691/kate-gosselin-divorce/>