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"   Attention ladies, gents, and people trapped in a symbiotic relationship with the worst music of 2003: The frontrunners in French-Canadian douchery will all be in one place today to witness the wedding of their sovereign rulers Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne, who are tying the knot today (it&amp;#039;s Canada Day!) in the south of France, where Lavigne has apparently &amp;quot;summered.&amp;quot; (Outside of Gossip Girl, the use of &amp;quot;summer&amp;quot; as a verb makes me want to hawk a lugie onto my cat. Please stop.)  In lieu of this holy union \u2014 at least, according to the loser senior boy you dated in high school who played &amp;quot;How U Remind Me&amp;quot; over and over on the way to the Creemee-Freez \u2014 we present our 5 Fantasy Moments From The Chavril Wedding. 5. Avril Lavigne is helped into her wedding dress, based on Sally&amp;#039;s outfit in Nightmare Before Christmas and made entirely out of duct tape and striped &amp;quot;punk&amp;quot; ties. Why does putting it on have to be so complicated? 4. Chad Kroeger lets the entire bridal party rub his frosted tips for good luck. Yes, even Avril&amp;#039;s weird Aunt Marie, who wears a bunch of rosaries as necklaces and has adult braces. 3. Avril walks down the aisle to Nickelback&amp;#039;s &amp;quot;Photograph.&amp;quot; Chad begins to tear up with emotion at the touching line &amp;quot;What the hell is that on Joey&amp;#039;s head?&amp;quot; 2. Both of their wedding vows are solemn recitations of their best-known songs. Avril: &amp;quot;Oh why is everything so confusing? Maybe I&amp;#039;m just out of my mind. Yeah-he-yaa, yeah-he-yah, yeah-he-yah, yeah-he-yah, yeah.&amp;quot; Chad uses &amp;quot;The Reason&amp;quot; by Hoobastank because everyone thinks that&amp;#039;s Nickelback anyway. 1. A nude Scott Stapp \u2014 lead singer of Creed, more or less the Christian Nickelback \u2014 will bust out of the cake and run away screaming for no good reason. Le fin. Best of luck to them, those crazy kids. Follow Anna on Twitter. Image via Getty "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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