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" 1. Clearest Signals From Signs, a book of photographs that examines unintentionally amusing signage from around the world. 2. Meanest In-Law Nancy: You really hate me, don&amp;#039;t you? Marcia: No, not at all. Do you hate a dog for peeing on the carpet? Of course not. She can&amp;#039;t help it; it&amp;#039;s her nature. You just have to leave her outside. --Maria Bello, reacting to her unrefined sister-in-law (Elizabeth Banks), in the biting new film The Sisters, inspired by an Anton Chekhov play 3. Worst Copilot &amp;quot;He thought he was Casper. He was reading a Casper comic book with a picture on the front of the comic book with Casper in a parachute. So Dan decided, Let&amp;#039;s bail out, let&amp;#039;s jump out. I said, No, we can&amp;#039;t do that. We don&amp;#039;t have any parachutes. So his mind was gone. He eventually took the key out, turned the engine off, and threw the key out the window.&amp;quot;  --Bill Johnston tearfully recounting an airplane crash caused by his son, the troubled singer-songwriter profiled in the odd, moving documentary The Devil and Daniel Johnston Four Toughest Commute &amp;quot;He took his bike from its stand by the garage, ran alongside it for three or four strides, leaped on, and started pedaling. He rode down the middle of each street, his eyes closed, counting until he knew it was time to make a turn.&amp;quot; --From Kamran Nazeer&amp;#039;s Send in the Idiots: Stories from the Other Side of Autism, in which the author visits his former classmates from a school for autistic children 5. Least Fixed Expression &amp;quot;A smile doesn&amp;#039;t start in your mouth; a smile starts in your eyes. It may start in your mind even before that, then it crawls down over your cheeks and, last of all, comes out on your mouth.&amp;quot; --From Elissa Stein&amp;#039;s upcoming book, Beauty Queen, which includes more than 100 vintage photographs of pageant contestants Six Surliest Skippers Rosie and Kelli O&amp;#039;Donnell on the Norwegian Dawn, the cruise boat they chartered for a 1,500-person, family-friendly gay-and-lesbian voyage to the Caribbean, in the engaging new HBO documentary All Aboard! Rosie&amp;#039;s Family Cruise. 7. Bloodiest Style &amp;quot;At first he shopped at thrift stores, but when he discovered that the blood washed out more easily from more expensive clothing, he turned to Armani and Dolce &amp;amp;amp; Gabbana.&amp;quot; --From Staring at Sound: The True Story of Oklahoma&amp;#039;s Fabulous Flaming Lips, a biography of the rock band by Jim DeRogatis 8. Most Awkward Greeting &amp;quot;A tall man with a southern accent we&amp;#039;ll call Steve walked in just as we were setting up the snake through the clean-out pipe. &amp;#039;If you see some orange pee, it&amp;#039;s my wife&amp;#039;s,&amp;#039; he told us without more than a how-do-you-do. &amp;#039;The medicine she&amp;#039;s taking is making it that way. Just wanted you to know in case you thought it was weird or something.&amp;#039; &amp;quot; --From Flushed: How the Plumber Saved Civilization, by W. Hodding Carter "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a1364/esq0406awards-56/>