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"FacebookPinterest\n\nBefore the All-Star reserves were announced two weeks back, some fans argued that borderline players such as JR Smith and Jamal Crawford deserved to make the game. Their case was made based on several factors, including swag and style, but also at least partially on their stats, as both guys are having terrific seasons scoring the ball, and both play for teams battling for the lead in their respective Conferences.\n\nThen the fun police showed up. Columns were written, tweets were sent. Trivial things like defense and shooting percentages were invoked. Before long, the All-Star campaigns of both Crawford and Smith were swiftly batted down. And I didn't like it one bit.\n\nSince 2001, I have attended ten of the 12 All-Star Weekends--I missed '04 in Denver and '05 in Los Angeles. While I have enough All-Star memories to last a lifetime, I have curiously few actual basketball memories. (Actually, this could be related to battling \"dehydration\" by the time the games roll around on Sunday night.) Off the top of my head, I recall Iverson and Marbury carrying the East back in D.C. in 2001; Jordan and Kobe going at it in Atlanta in '03; Wade breaking Kobe's nose with a hard foul last year in Orlando. Other than that, it's just a mess of endlessly repeating blurry mental Vine videos of Tim Duncan and Kevin Garnett running up and down random courts in uniforms that looked vaguely like soda cans.\n\nWhat I clearly remember is the fun stuff: Benny the Bull doing the Single Ladies dance right in front of a fuming Jay-Z; Nate Robinson jumping over Dwight Howard to win the dunk contest; Gilbert Arenas racing from a timeout huddle out onto the court and joining a group of Elvis impersonators dunking off trampolines.\n\nOf all the things that happen during the NBA's All-Star Weekend, actual NBA-level basketball ranks about eighth on the scale of importance. The point of All-Star Weekend? I'm not sure it's ever been explicitly stated. Unlike Major League Baseball's All-Star Game, there's nothing at stake. And unlike the NFL's All-Star Game, some people actually watch it. Experienced correctly, NBA All-Star Weekend is a few days of excess, parties, networking, and relaxing. So expecting the entire weekend to wind up with a competitive game is to me an odd idea, particularly since the main goal of most guys playing in the game is to take it easy and avoid injury.\n\nI'm pretty sure that All-Star Weekend is, at some level, for the fans, and if you want to entertain the fans, you should populate the game with guys who don't have an off switch. I want to see an All-Star Game where every shot is either a three-pointer or an alley-oop. I want to see a backboard shattered. I want no traveling violations called, and I want extra points awarded whenever someone breaks someone else's ankles. Basically, I want a YOLO All-Star Game.\n\nTo that end, I've put together teams I'd like to see repping the East and West for the upcoming All-Star Weekend. Actual basketball skill was considered, briefly, but for the most part I weighted my selection criteria more toward things like social media proficiency, comedy, personality, and an occasional willingness to avoid fundamentals.\n\n Eastern Conference YOLO All-Star Starters\n\n G - Nate Robinson, CHI--Nate was born to play in consequence-free games; in 2008 his summer league jersey was retired in recognition of...well...something or other.\n\n G - JR Smith, NYK-- Last night it was noted on Twitter that JR Smith is the first player with at least a dozen three-point attempts in three consecutive games since...Gilbert Arenas! Also, Smith's devotion to Twitter is well documented.\n\n F - LeBron James, MIA--Hey, it's LeBron. I'm still hoping Samsung films a sequel to the commercial where LeBron goes to the barbershop, but this time he brings Andrew Bynum with him.\n\n F - Larry Sanders, MIL--Hey now! In his third season, LARRYSANDERS! is averaging career highs in every major stat and leading the NBA in blocks per game. But he also has entertainingly diverse off-court pursuits, including designing skateboards, working on a novel, and acting: Sanders appears in Movie 43. (As a basketball player, but still.) And you have to respect a guy who lists his name on Twitter as Nappy Gilmore.\n\n C - Joakim Noah, CHI--Doesn't get as much attention as he would playing on either coast, but he's been crucial for the Bulls all season long. And off the court, he's one of the most intelligent and open people I've come across--this interview I did with him in 2008 is one of my favorites I've ever done with any athlete.\n\nBench\n\n --Kyrie Irving--Might be my favorite player to watch in the NBA this season. He doesn't have a ton of help, but every night he destroys whoever is assigned to defend him. Also, I thought it would be wise to include Kyrie because my editor here at GQ went to Duke, and you know how Duke people are.\n\n --Amir Johnson--Emerging social media guru. Earlier this season wore shoes with his face on them, then rocked a matching blazer. Claimed to have bought the original A-Team van.\n\n --Roy Hibbert--Enduring an underwhelming season, but makes our team because of his appreciation for comedy, which includes appearing on \"Parks and Recreation\" and being BFFs with comedian Chelsea Peretti.\n\n --DeShawn Stevenson--Has a tattoo of Abraham Lincoln on his throat and an ATM in his kitchen. Any questions?\n\n --Fab Melo--What's an All-Star game without a Celtic? And there's no better Celtic for us than the guy who went right through a folding chair at the NBA's rookie orientation. Melo also suffered a concussion in the D-League a few weeks ago after hitting his head on the doorframe in his hotel room.\n\n --Andray Blatche--Makes it for this photo alone.\n\n --Brandon Jennings--Constantly on Twitter and Instagram. Also once liveblogged the NBA Draft with me.\n\nWestern Conference YOLO All-Star Starters\n\n G - Russell Westbrook, OKC--Last month I wrote a piece in GQ about Westbrook and his singular style. Since then he's gone even further out there. Why not? Indeed.\n\n G - Jamal Crawford, LAC--Perhaps the most fun player to watch in the NBA. Not an elite defender, but there's no player more unrelentingly offensive-minded than Crawford. Plus he can do stuff like this. And this.\n\n F - Tony Allen--My favorite NBA player to follow on Twitter.\n\n F - Kevin Durant--If you're gonna have LeBron on one team, you put Durant on the other team. Let everyone else go ham and KD and Bron can shoot it out down the stretch.\n\n C - JaVale McGee--Incredibly talented, incredibly inconsistent. It's reached the point now where I stay up until the end of \"Inside the NBA\" each week just to see which McGee clip Shaq is going to include on \"Shaqtin' A Fool.\" This one is my favorite ever.\n\nBench\n\n --James Harden--Beard.\n\n --Metta World Peace--Who would have suspected that in a season of off-court turmoil in Los Angeles, MWP wouldn't really be involved in any of it?\n\n --Matt Bonner--The Red Rocket has been making a push via social media to be named a contestant in the three-point shootout. But as he wrote yesterday, he actually genuinely enjoys everything about All-Star Weekend.\n\n --Ricky Rubio--No player has a game more perfectly suited for playing in an All-Star Game...and potentially embarrassing someone on the other team.\n\n --Jared Dudley--The reigning NBA Social Media \"Big\" Award winner.\n\n --Blake Griffin--If anyone's going to break a backboard, I'm guessing Blake's our best chance.\n\n_Lang Whitaker is GQ's NBA blogger as well as the editor-at-large at SLAM Magazine and a regular contributor to NBA TV. Follow him on Twitter @langwhitaker.\n\n _"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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