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"Did you ladies see the CNN article about this?! Since Valentine&amp;amp;#8217;s Day was yesterday, proposals were on many minds, including one writer whose piece &amp;amp;#8220;Why Men Propose&amp;amp;#8221; got picked up by CNN. Quick summary: She finds it odd that women can ask guys out on dates, request an even split of child-care duties, and run the House of Representatives, but can&amp;amp;#8217;t offer their men a marriage proposal. Except they can. Just check out Mordicai and Jenny&amp;amp;#8217;s proposal story. And Paul&amp;amp;#8217;s best man&amp;amp;#8217;s fiancee also popped the question. True, it&amp;amp;#8217;s not the norm, but I don&amp;amp;#8217;t know if standard proposal practices, where boy asks girl, are a sign that women (and maybe guys, too) are repressed, as the piece seems to posit. I think there&amp;amp;#8217;s more to it. Women, at least the ones I know, are usually (though not always) ready to get married before their boyfriends are. I was totally prepared junior year of college. I casually and without an engagement ring said to Paul, &amp;amp;#8220;Hey, let&amp;amp;#8217;s get engaged.&amp;amp;#8221; Paul&amp;amp;#8217;s response of &amp;amp;#8220;Now?&amp;amp;#8221; told me all I needed to know: He wasn&amp;amp;#8217;t there yet. In love, sure, wanting to spend the rest of his life with me, probably, but making it official at 20 wasn&amp;amp;#8217;t going to happen for us. I&amp;amp;#8217;d imagine that many ladies are refraining from offering proposals because their men would turn them down. And even a strong relationship that&amp;amp;#8217;s headed toward forever can become awkward after a rejected marriage proposal. The writer also talks about how concocting a marriage proposal has turned into a pissing contest: Which guy can create the biggest production out of asking his girlfriend to marry him? I can&amp;amp;#8217;t argue with her there (hello, treasure-hunt proposal and choreographed dance engagement). But she mentions how in nearly every case of larger-than-life proposals, the gals gasp in possibly pretend shock, a display of female modesty. I&amp;amp;#8217;m not sure modesty has anything to do with it. My physical reaction to Paul getting down on one knee probably looked eerily similar to my reaction to learning about a former classmate&amp;amp;#8217;s death. When something major and surprising (good or bad) happens, it&amp;amp;#8217;s just how my body responds. (Then again, maybe this was something learned from years of watching other women react.) But back to the original question: Is it so anti-feminist to want a thoughtful, non-cliche proposal from your boyfriend (which the author suggests is a guy&amp;amp;#8217;s way of showing he&amp;amp;#8217;d be a fit husband and father)? I say no. In fact, I&amp;amp;#8217;d guess that there are guys out there who wouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t mind being asked to get married in a creative way, and not because they want reassurance of their significant others&amp;amp;#8217; wifely/motherly prowess. It&amp;amp;#8217;s just plain fun to have someone go out of his way to show he cares for you, no matter your sex. Not that this was at all creative, but I got Paul a big ol&amp;amp;#8217; flat-screen TV when we got engaged. I love him and wanted to do something nice for him. And that was that. (Fun fact: Kay Hymowitz, who wrote the CNN story, and I are both Brandeis University alumnae. And yes, she&amp;amp;#8217;s married, though I don&amp;amp;#8217;t know if her husband proposed to her or not--or if she gasped.) So what do you ladies think of the CNN article? Do women want their men to propose because of predetermined and unshakeable gender roles? And do you think we ladies want well-thought-out proposals so we know our guys will be good husbands and dads? Do you think there will ever come a time when the number of men who propose to women is equal to the number of women who propose to men? What&amp;#x27;s With All the Spam in the Comments Section? Sick of all those annoying ads in the comments section lately? So are we! We police the site regularly and delete spam as soon as we can, but recently, the volume of spam has increased dramatically. We&amp;#x27;re working on a way to block them permanently, so please bear with us, and know that we&amp;#x27;re as eager as you are to get rid of these pests. Meanwhile, please continue to use the Report Abuse button to flag spam--it really does help!-- and continue to leave your brilliant feedback below. If you have any urgent questions about the spam, please contact us. And a special note to you, spammers; we officially declare you a major DON&amp;#x27;T. More Ways to Get Glamour Visit Shopglamour.com for cute stuff starting at just $10! Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! Follow us on Twitter Add us to your iGoogle homepage Photo: Jupiterimages"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2011/02/can-you-be-a-feminist-and-stil>