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"Wow. I&amp;#x27;ve just disembarked from the possessed rollercoaster that is episode two of The Bachelor. Let&amp;#x27;s get some brief business out of the way: Ben went on one-one-ones with the kitten-faced Kacie B. and sinister Courtney this week. Both got roses, and the group date&amp;#x27;s went to Blakeley--about whom you&amp;#x27;ll now learn plenty more.Now, with all the roses distributed, it&amp;#x27;s time to hand out some awards. Best new villain: Blakeley How does she stack up against our original, Courtney? Both &amp;quot;go after what they want&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;usually get it.&amp;quot; Both have eyes filled with terrifying venom. Blakeley is better at resisting dated Charlie Sheen references (come on, Courtney, you knew this stuff would air months later. You may as well have been talking about POGs). But Courtney is better at faking normalcy. And about 70 percent of being normal, after all, is not wearing this outfit: Which leads us to... Best quote of the night: Samantha After Blakeley, who was later made to play a cookie in a children&amp;#x27;s play, paraded around in that one-piece, Samantha sniped, &amp;quot;What do you get when you cross a gingerbread man and a hooker? Blakeley!&amp;quot; However, Samantha loses some points for later calling Blakeley &amp;quot;jugs&amp;quot; while wearing the below. You know what they say about people in glass, bacteria-filled houses... Best hiding moment of the night: also Samantha Yes, Jenna displayed consistency by disappearing for a good cry. Blakeley&amp;#x27;s luggage fort was flashy. But please don&amp;#x27;t discount Samantha&amp;#x27;s extended, nasty hiatus in a handicapped stall. Worst logic miss: Ben to Blakeley: &amp;quot;You seem super grounded.&amp;quot; Best absurdly unfounded bitchiness: Courtney To Kacie, who had just read Courtney her date card: &amp;quot;How&amp;#x27;d that taste coming out of your mouth?&amp;quot; Most likability points lost: Lindzi &amp;quot;I love horses. I&amp;#x27;m a tractor girl. I drive a F350. It&amp;#x27;s weird being here and wearing real makeup because normally, dirt&amp;#x27;s my makeup.&amp;quot; Is that so, Lindzi? Then I look forward to your hometown date. That makeup comment annoyed me so much, I&amp;#x27;m not even going to spell-check my version of her name. I&amp;#x27;m just going with the most likely Bachelor iteration. Below, your Bachelor episode by the numbers, and a farewell tribute to the extraordinary range of tense faces made by Jenna (whom, along with Shawn, was sent packing tonight). Cry count = 5 (Kacie, Ben while watching his childhood home videos, Jennifer, Blakeley, Jenna) Kiss count = 2 for Kacie, 1 for Blakeley, 1 for Jennifer, 3 for Courtney (I won&amp;#x27;t be dignifying that odd chain of cheek pecks that went on.) Checkered buttondowns = 3, Ben &amp;quot;I&amp;#x27;m Here for Ben&amp;quot; = 1 for Jennifer, 1 for Blakeley &amp;quot;Not a Good Person&amp;quot; = 1 for Kacie, Re: Courtney &amp;quot;I Hate Drama&amp;quot; = 1 for Samantha Canine love connections = 1 (my dog, Olive, was mesmerized by Ben&amp;#x27;s Jack Russell Terrier). Well, ladies, looks like the ex-girlfriend gets back in the mix next week! What did you think of this week&amp;#x27;s episode? Let&amp;#x27;s hear some frontrunner predictions! More on Reality TV... *We Watched The Beginning Of The End For Kim And Kris On Last Night&amp;#x27;s Kourtney And Kim Take New York *Brace Yourself, America--I&amp;#x27;m About To Make The Case For Snooki Being A Good Role Model *Miley Cyrus and Kelly Osbourne Punk Khloe Kardashian in a Scene Right Out of There&amp;#x27;s Something About Mary Photo: ABC"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/entertainment/blogs/obsessed/2012/01/the-bachelor-recap>