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" hello again. it&amp;#039;s been busy nations in my world but somehow i find the time to watch this show 4 seconds at a time....just for you and only you! this week i watched the show at my pals tom and lorenzo&amp;#039;s house. they invited me over to watch the show, primarily, but to also do some hardcore dishing. oh my...if y&amp;#039;all only knew all of the juicy stuff we discussed. jealousy. we drank plenty of red wine and ate vegan cookies and chilled with the cats and toms sister&amp;#039;s gay dog. it was a lot of fun. tom and lorenzo have a project runway, fashion and style blog called project rungay. you can find it here. check it out...its bitchy and fun and addicting!  ok. on with the show.    the opening sequence is so irritating at this point. not the green manhattan part but the part where they are all &amp;quot;i&amp;#039;m the best&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;i wouldn&amp;#039;t be caught dead in..&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;fashion is my life&amp;quot; bullshit with flashbulbs a flashing. i just cant seem to fast forward through it fast enough.  now...green manhattan.  victorya groggy coffee. ricky&amp;#039;s titties. chicken flat irons her feathers. rami smokes? yummy! he asks chicken how he felt about the prom challenge. chicken bitches about bad maddie and then bitches about how he shouldn&amp;#039;t have been in the bottom 2 because other peoples looks were &amp;quot;not cute&amp;quot;. i wonder what its like to have to make love to the chicken? you&amp;#039;re getting all passionate and then you find your hand having to navigate the treacherous waters of the feathered head. it probably gets really uncomfortable when she grabs your wrist and says...&amp;quot;not the hair...anything but the hair&amp;quot;! so. not. fierce.  ricky black and white argyle hat. go figure. chris cackles. kris kringle&amp;#039;s cousin...chris cackle. ricky is sad kevin left but is glad it wasn&amp;#039;t him. soon enough dear. chicken calls the other designers &amp;quot;bitches&amp;quot; and the &amp;quot;bitches&amp;quot; head on over to parsons.  heidi xylophonic sparkles.  enter the models who no one knows.  the models are sporting some funky ass hair styles. ricky say &amp;quot;oh my stars&amp;quot;. heidi reveals that the challenge is to create an avant garde look inspired by the models hair. kit has this really funny moment where she is like half asleep and as soon as heidi says avant garde she mouths the word &amp;quot;yeesssss&amp;quot;. its kind of sleazy and creepy and i&amp;#039;m sure she is a nice person but between that heinous dress from last weeks episode and the fact that i feel that if i had smell-o-vision that I could confirm that her personal wardrobe smells musty, i&amp;#039;m just not feeling this chick. i&amp;#039;m kind of an asshole i guess.  chris gets a woody over this challenge. you know he&amp;#039;s all about the hair and shiz.  heidi explains that this is an opportunity for the designers to do something artistic and conceptual. its not happening here per se but sometimes heidi&amp;#039;s voice exits the realm of human and enters porpoise territory. ps: that&amp;#039;s the name of my new band...porpoise territory. anywho, i remember at the season one finale show at bryant park, we are all backstage running around getting our models ready for the show and out of the sound system comes this unearthly dolphin murder sound. everyone just kind of stopped for a second and looked up and then went back to whatever it was that they were doing. it didn&amp;#039;t make sense to me until i watched the finale on tv and realized that the sound I heard, which i thought was a strangled dolphin in childbirth, was indeed heidi saying &amp;quot;hello everybody&amp;quot;. you will have to watch it. the sound people must have had to put it through a porpoise to human voice translation system or something.  models 10 of you and 8 designers and....maybe its because i have to watch this 41 minute program, 4 seconds at a time, over a 6 hour span of time but these show formalities such as model selection make me want to put hot things into my eye socket.  chicken picks lisa who by the way looks like chicken.  blah picks blah and blah picks blah.  heidi exits da vunvay.  workroom with tim...&amp;quot;designers&amp;quot; he explains avant garde and how the look doesn&amp;#039;t have to be practical or even wearable? sometimes fashion boggles the mind. um...can you wear it? does it cover the body? is it&amp;#039;s intention to be worn? you say yes? well then it&amp;#039;s f#$*ing wearable. he then reveals that they will be working in teams of 2. chicken and victorya mouth some disappointed bullshit. i&amp;#039;m just about over those 2 always ragging it.  tim pulls buttons out of that foul velvet bag to determine who will be working with who...again....redesign the button bag contest. hello...anyone listening out there in wishland? i&amp;#039;m pretty sure the teams were predetermined for optimal hate factor. victorya and jillian? c&amp;#039;mon...that shit has such evil possibilities!  the teams are kit and ricky, sweet p and rami...sweet p says &amp;quot;oh that&amp;#039;s fantastic&amp;quot;. that&amp;#039;s right...bitch need that nasty draping queen to save her ass this week. chris and chicken. chicken makes the tightest upper lipped fake happy moment face ever....shit...it just came to me. chicken looks like chris kattan from saturday night live with tina fey&amp;#039;s glasses and an electrocuted pineapple hair head style on it&amp;#039;s top of it. chicken then realizes oh snap...wait a minute here...that big ole queen is the queen of crazy costumes and an opportunistic light bulb appears over her head.  chris walks over to chicken and pulls the cord and the light bulb goes off. chris looks at chicken and says &amp;quot;ain&amp;#039;t no one gonna steal my thunder on this challenge and especially no pineapple headed chris kattan skinny diaper jean wearin&amp;#039; chicken boy lady&amp;quot;. chris then proceeds to threaten chicken with something about putting him between his asscheeks and squeezing him to death...some kind of hot dog to hot dog bun ratio equation....i&amp;#039;m not sure...the visuals were starting to make me sweat so i checked out. back to the show.  jillian gets stuck with victorya.  i have given the teams names:  kit and ricky: team cricket  sweet p and rami: sweet runny p  chris and chicken: team hello middle america would you just look at all of the different shapes and sizes that them queers come in.  jillian and victorya: team these two alpha bitches are gonna rip each others faces off. if only we could be so lucky.  tim explains to the designers that they have 30 minutes to choose which model and what hairstyle they would like to work off of. $300 budget and 2 days to complete the look. each team must choose a team leader.  send in the models...which one...to choose...formalities.  chris suggests that since chicken &amp;quot;worked at alexander mcqueen&amp;quot; that he should be the team leader? what does that have to do with anything? they choose marcia and her braided rats nest hairstyle.  when choosing the model for team cricket, ricky gets hyper obnoxious and douchebags out and tells the model that they didn&amp;#039;t pick &amp;quot;sorry girl...have a seat&amp;quot;. basically we didn&amp;#039;t pick you ...so sit yo ass down! here&amp;#039;s where it gets confusing...the one model that they didn&amp;#039;t pick had a hairstyle that kit said looked like a &amp;quot;birds nest&amp;quot; yet the theme of their garment is &amp;quot;nesting&amp;quot;. so what they are really saying is...you inspired us but we aren&amp;#039;t going to use you because we are using kit&amp;#039;s model because kit wants it her way and kit is the team leader and we are making kit&amp;#039;s design even though kit&amp;#039;s designs are sometimes fugly town, no wonder why ricky&amp;#039;s always crying.  team runny p picks sam...who is cute but that hairstyle is one funky ass mess. it looks like some wacky reject from one of those awful mo&amp;#039;nique beauty salon movies. rami explains that their concept for the look is hard vs. soft...ohhhhh...what a revolutionary concept. of course he is the team leader. as if sweet p had a chance in hell for that position.  ps: writing the names sweet p and kit as in kit pistol every week kind of makes me want to be sick in a bag. i should have gone on to season one as captain j or lord jay king of thread and snark or jizzy mcfashionostrodamus: trendsetter. but you can call me jizz for short.  these people are wack and they are sucking way too much of my energy and i&amp;#039;m only at minute 7...minute f#@*ing 7!  team jillitoriyian/vicilliayan discuss their always bright and sunshiney apocalyptic inspired clothing ideas, hate each other, flip a coin and act passive aggressive towards each other.  tim &amp;quot;designers&amp;quot;.  mood fabrics...running around...i zoned out...thank you mood and good night.  workroom. cue hot techno project runway musak.  kit discusses her not little house on the prairie birds nest garden apron idea laid over this shot of a scribble in both pen and pencil. ricky confesses he wants to be a woman. a crying latina woman stripper with a black and white bra collection.  chicken says &amp;quot;if i were a diva, my name would be feroc&amp;quot;. short for ferocious i am guessing. translation: i can&amp;#039;t make it to the toilet fast enough to throw up so i only made it to the kitchen sink. thank you chicken!  dear middle america, please don&amp;#039;t judge the gay community by what you see on this television program. this is not how all gay people act. this is how your standard pedestrian, obsessed with fame and glamour and celebrity, trash acts. in the context of the show, the &amp;quot;fierce&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;hot&amp;quot; commentary is entertaining because well...you would otherwise be stuck listening to 19 minutes of victorya whispering about silhouettes and drape...kind of not entertaining, but in the real world there are many intelligent and witty gays out there advancing the image of the community. so...take it all with a grain of salt. however, if you hear your teenage son suddenly start saying &amp;quot;fierce&amp;quot;...might i suggest sending his ass to military school or something.  chris builds a &amp;quot;cell phone tower to call out&amp;quot; and shares a genuinely funny moment with sweet p about elisa leaving him instructions on how to build the tower. figures the only genuinely humorous moment comes in reference to dear elisa. oh elisa...how we miss thee.  jillian discusses her mohawk inspired design. she is concerned about her and victorya&amp;#039;s time management skills.  not brother clock.  rami talks to sweet p like she is a 5 year old.  ricky works on a heinous pastel floral print bodice. kit and ricky banter about &amp;quot;boning&amp;quot; and we actually see a laugh or a smile or some resemblance of joy coming from victorya&amp;#039;s face.  rami talks to sweet like she is a 5 year old some more.  his ass is on the line...what line?...where?...where do i sign up?  not brother clock.  green manhattan.  that millionaire matchmaker show looks so lame. it&amp;#039;s like if you are going to spend money to produce a show as superficial as this...you might as well follow my ass around. wouldn&amp;#039;t watching me watching the millionaire matchmaker with commentary about how lame it is actually be more entertaining that the actual show itself?...me too.  green manhattan.  morning of day 2. rami trims the grey hairs from the mole on his chinny chin chin. we are treated to ricky&amp;#039;s titties a second time this episode. chicken is in the background...you guessed it...flat ironing her feathers. jillian is curling her curls? sweet p smokes? what happened to the good ole days when they actually showed us smoking and drinking our faces off? i guess it doesn&amp;#039;t jive with the &amp;quot;most talented&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;professional&amp;quot; group of designers image that they are trying to portray this season. b to the o to the ring!  green manhattan.  workroom.  crickets cricketing, runny p&amp;#039;s peeing.  tim &amp;quot;designers&amp;quot;. cue intense didgeridoo project runway musak. tim has an announcement. &amp;quot;there will be another look walking down the runway&amp;quot;. they have to make a ready to wear look inspired by their avant garde look. everyone is hating the hate out of hate. 15 minutes to discuss the look. $50 budget. 15 minutes at mood and only one teammate can go. half of the designers go to mood.  green manhattan.  workroom.  jillian with white shorty short and black leggings?  tim &amp;quot;designers&amp;quot;. sends in the models for a fitting. tim tells them to &amp;quot;make it work&amp;quot;. thankfully they are using that sparingly this season and it wasn&amp;#039;t even tim who overused it but the rest of the planet.  rami and sweet p need to shut the f up.  kit and ricky&amp;#039;s model shows us some ass. kit orgasms at the sight of her fairy tale vision come to fruition.  jillian is feeling the time pressure and victorya has immunity and whah whah whah.  chris and chicken fit their ruffled contraption. chicken gives us his best runway walk. i see someone watched paris is burning one too many times. again...son...fierce...military school.  rami tells sweet p that he is entitled and he&amp;#039;s the leader and her stuff isn&amp;#039;t as good as his and she cries to her model and he must have a small weiner because he&amp;#039;s being a real shitbag to her. well, i look at it this way...sweet p should just brush it off because she ain&amp;#039;t the one wearing bell bottom jeans that were obviously ordered from a catalog and she isn&amp;#039;t wearing them hiked up the crackola hola to the high heavens. rami is cute and all but he must fart denim the way he hikes those jeans up there. maybe he misses his boyfriend and needs some...you know...company.  green manhattan.  not brother clock.  tim &amp;quot;designers and models&amp;quot; enters the workroom to introduce a special guest. madonna? cher? hillary clinton? oprah? ...no...its nathaniel hawkins? the head dude from tresemme. i met him, he is nice but he ain&amp;#039;t no oprah. he goes on about translating hair and that the winning looks and model will be featured in a tresemme ad in elle magazine.  here&amp;#039;s a song i wrote for y&amp;#039;all...its lots of fun to sing.  product placement product product product product placement  product placement product product product product placement yeah! (repeat chorus 7 million times until your brain bleeds)  one on one consultation time with tresemme guy, designers and models. i like this part because it sucked up some time and i don&amp;#039;t really need to describe it in detail. i like those parts. there aren&amp;#039;t many of those breathers on this program.  i need a nap.  green manhattan.  tim enters the workroom to meet the teams to discuss their looks. he first meets with &amp;quot;team fierce&amp;quot; and describes their avant garde look as &amp;quot;staggering&amp;quot;. he thinks the ready to wear skirt looks cheap and chicken squawks &amp;quot;oh my god I think it looks so expensive&amp;quot;.  next up is kit and ricky. kit says she is &amp;quot;so excited&amp;quot; and tim says &amp;quot;alright&amp;quot;. translation...&amp;quot;what the f#@k is that alice in wonderland satin aproned garden party ribboned rainbow brite pride parade explosion&amp;quot;? he is clearly hating it.  next is rami and sweet p. tim wanted to tell rami just how very much he enjoyed the video from last week and the flowers and the soup rami made from his grandmother&amp;#039;s recipe with the cute little meatballs in it and how he couldn&amp;#039;t get his scent out of the pillowcases...something to do with the nature of the fiber and being such a high thread count and how he took the pillowcase to work with him and how he would be so embarrassed if someone walked in on him smelling it but luckily he has a lock on his office door over at claiborne, but stupid old sweet p was there just staring at them and she ruined everything....everything!!!!  tim meets up with victorya and jillian. he is loving their coat and stating the obvious hurry up and get your shit done speech. they continue to alpha female at each other.  tim leaves. walks behind the door. pulls out the pillowcase and takes a huge whiff. all is right in the world.  not brother clock.  jillian is losing it at the sewing machine. girl...i&amp;#039;m right there with you. i was hating on those machines pretty hardcore on season one.  chris does his best julia child impersonation.  not brother clock.  end of day 2. jillian walks out like a zombie.  green manhattan.  morning victorya. what the gay rodeo clown is chicken wearing? kit plays musty maid and sweet p gussies herself up for a peace rally...in japan.  the designers leave gotham tomato apartments.  green manhattan.  cue hot techno project runway musak here.  workroom.  jillian, wearing her favorite grey shawl collar coat, uses a rotary cutter in a really really terrible way. ouch!...that poor table.  tim &amp;quot;designers&amp;quot;. you have 2 hours to last minute up your models and send them to the &amp;quot;blah blah blah and this is buying me an even bigger and more bad ass apartment in the west village hair and makeup room&amp;quot;.  ricky is hating kit&amp;#039;s aesthetic.  models get their hair and makeup did up to season one musak.  jillian has a thread in her hair...you know they put that one in on purpose.  tim says &amp;quot;quit your whispering victorya, pick that thread out of jillian&amp;#039;s hair and get your asses down to the runway....now!&amp;quot;.  oh goody. we get to vote for our favorite designer to win 10,000 bucks and be named season 4 fan favorite. i cant wait to see what famewhores are gonna be circulating the begging emails...oops too late...already got one.  heidi enters to xylophonic sparkles wearing a...a....brown..uh...is it on sideways? upside down? what is that? what I do know is that heidi&amp;#039;s left underarm looks like a brown silk jersey vagina. i wonder which past designer made this look? you know she apparently wears past contestants clothing...you would think they would try to advertise that somewhere on the show....is anybody listening?  lets. meet. the. judges.  michael kors. nina garcia. and alberta ferretti looking like ellen barkin. thankfully i know who the guest judge was this week. i was beginning to wonder if i was living under a rock.  lets. start. the. show.  rami and sweet p: avant garde: the dress was interesting. typical rami. nice color palette. kind of madonna/gaultier/express yourselfey. what is that gold shit at the left shoulder? A lot of people hated the trousers but i think at least it made it kind of interesting. but navy blue?...and the cut was very mom pants. it definitely needed to be taken to the next level...more severity in the pant? more volume in the dress? a heavily worked sleeve? something.  ready to wear: i really liked this dress. great color choice to compliment king rami&amp;#039;s look. nice fabrication. it is modern and youthful yet chic. sweet p is really starting to redeem herself. of course she will be out next week. its always when you start liking them...then poof...gone.  chris and chicken: avant garde: it was really quite something! very much met the challenge. beautiful fabrication and interesting subtle choice of color. very over the top yet somehow controlled. i do think something at the neckline was necessary, i&amp;#039;m just not sure of the giant ruffled leaf turtle shell thing. ah...never mind. it was pretty amazing!  ready to wear: the top very much mimicked the avant garde dress and i&amp;#039;m fine with the skirt but those darts...were they highlighted with a black sharpey marker or something. why did they look so severe?  kit and ricky: avant garde: um...i really liked the ombred color palette and i&amp;#039;m not totally offended by the fabrication of the skirt but that corset fabric. eeekkk! ok, we all know you have some kind of obsession with the apron kit, but c&amp;#039;mon. milkmaids are not chic or modern. after all is said and done, this look is still not as bad as that blue monstrosity from last week.  ready to wear: of all the fabrics in the world you choose that one? and then you make that out of it? that&amp;#039;s about all I can say about that!  victorya and jillian: avant garde: this coat is pretty spectacular and ridiculously well crafted. i love the surprise plaid lining on the belt. what a nice detail! really super high fashion. i&amp;#039;m not so sure about the jodhpur. is anyone ever really so sure about a jodhpur? the under ruffled shirt was cute and could easily be translated into something for the rack.  ready to wear: i like the concept of this dress and i especially like the worked ruffles at the bottom right. i didn&amp;#039;t really like the one shouldered bit and i especially didn&amp;#039;t like the 1 plaid strap on the right shoulder. i found it to be distracting. overall, pretty good stuff from this group.  on the runway.  heidi announces that king rami and sweet p and kit and ricky are in the bottom. she tells them to go in the back and cry their eyes out and to write an essay on why they suck so hardcore.  judging.  the tops: cowboy chicken queens out. it&amp;#039;s amazing. it&amp;#039;s complicated. it&amp;#039;s heaven. it&amp;#039;s beautifully crafted. it&amp;#039;s important and exciting looking. it&amp;#039;s very swan lake? the silhouette is beautiful. it&amp;#039;s adorable. it&amp;#039;s cute. we should win.  the bottoms: it&amp;#039;s beautiful. it&amp;#039;s a cute dress. the dress the volume is not so dramatic. her ass is in her front. Explosion out of her rear. you&amp;#039;re fabulous...no you&amp;#039;re fabulous. it&amp;#039;s so strange. it&amp;#039;s cheap. it&amp;#039;s cheap. it&amp;#039;s a little scarlett o&amp;#039;hara in a cheap way. it does not look well made.  judges judging.  &amp;quot;one of you will be named the winner and one of you will be..my god will this episode ever f#@*ing end?  the winner is chicken. victorya smiles. a chunk of ice just broke off of the polar ice caps. chris is in. victorya and jillian are in. ricky is in. sweet p is in. rami is in. kit is outta there.  i agree with the winner but i think victorya and jillian put in a great effort as well. i agree with kit and ricky being bottom but i kind of feel like both of them should have been out. whatever.  i&amp;#039;m over this episode. hopefully next week will be more fun. ricky cries again. i&amp;#039;m sooo looking forward to that. not!  thanks again for reading and all of your awesome support and your responses and comments, which i totally love to read. you rock!!! have an amazing week!  till next time! xoxox. 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<http://www.elle.com/culture/news/a485/january-20-2008-4150/>