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"FacebookPinterest\n\nOn the eve of the publication of his memoir, Romo: My Jekyll and Hyde Life, Bill Romanowski spoke with GQ about his controversial life on and off the field. Romanowski played for four teams between 1988 and 2003, and in five Super Bowls. His forte: smashing his helmet into the head of opposing quarterbacks (their \"moans,\" he writes, \"sounded as sweet as ocean waves\"). Posterity may best remember him, however, as a key figure in the BALCO scandal. Following are outtakes from Romanowski's conversation with GQ.\n\nFootball is unique among the major sports in that there's a secret game going on outside of view of the officials\u2014in the scrum. What is the craziest thing you ever did inside the scrum?\n\nThe one thing that stands out is at the bottom of a pile trying to rip the ball out of David Meggett's hands, all's I could get was a finger, and there was a little snap-crackle-pop that happened.\n\nDid Meggett know that you were the perpetrator? \n\nI don't know if he did. &#145;Cause I got up fairly quickly after that once I couldn't get the ball. I remember a play or two later, him coming back in with his hand all taped up. You know, mentally, physically, however you can get the edge is what I tried to do. And almost at any cost. I wanted to win so badly that at times, I would almost say or do anything just to try to gain an advantage. I crossed the line, and looking back on it now, I'm not proud of the things that I did, and if I had to do it all over again, I would do it differently in some of those circumstances.\n\nWas it hard on your family life that you were so caught up in the game? \n\nThere's a price you pay for success. Things that are easy to attain I don't think have a lot of value to &#145;em, so it's really, in any field that people choose to excel, I think there's a price you pay.\n\nIn your case, what was that price? \n\nDown to the core, it would be my integrity. My morality.\n\nLike Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi, you testified before the BALCO grand jury. Their testimony was leaked, however. How do you think they feel about that? \n\nIt just goes to show that here's the justice system, and on some level, they're probably dirtier than the guys who are doing the drugs.\n\nDo you have the feeling that to this point you've sort of flown under the BALCO radar? That you haven't endured the same degree of scrutiny that Giambi and Barry Bonds have? Are you concerned that this book may change that? \n\nWell, I think the thing about them is that they're still playing the game, so for me, maybe I'm old news.\n\nWhat did THG, the BALCO steroid you took, look like? What did it taste like? \n\nIt was kind of a golden color, I guess. It didn't taste very good.\n\nDid it taste fishy? Like spoiled fruit? \n\nI don't know what it tasted like. It just was pretty awful. And my sense of taste, because of the amount of concussions [I've suffered], is pretty bad, but it seemed to penetrate some of my taste buds anyway.\n\nHow did you and BALCO president Victor Conte meet? \n\nI did mineral testing with BALCO for the last ten years of my career, to help keep all my minerals in balance, and he mentioned [THG] to me. [He said] that it could be a substance similar to a pro-hormone, to an androstenedione. That we really don't know what it is, and they've tested a bunch of people, and it looks like you can take this, and it's not on the banned list. The key was, would it produce a positive drug test, and would it hurt me. And the answer was no to both of those.\n\nDid THG affect your moods? \n\nNo.\n\nDid it affect your sex drive? \n\nNo.\n\nROMO makes it evident that whenever you found a new pill or cream that worked for you, you would share it with teammates. Did you introduce any players to THG? \n\nI would share a lot of things with people, but I wouldn't share everything.\n\nWere the three other Raiders who tested positive for THG introduced by you to the drug? \n\nNo.\n\nYou speak at length in the book about your sense of insecurity as an athlete. Do you think you needed performance-enhancing drugs, or could you have succeeded without them? \n\nI'll never know if I could've just showed up and ate eggs in the mornin', a healthy lunch, and a healthy dinner, with glasses of milk, if that would've been enough. I'll never know, because I always tried to search out what I could take that would help my body perform better.\n\nAfter your wife was charged with fraudulently obtaining phentermine prescriptions [the charges were later dropped], the San Francisco Chronicle reported that BALCO was supplying you with human growth hormone. Why is there no mention in ROMO of HGH?] \n\nBecause this isn't a tell-all book, it's a tell-why book.\n\nYou write that your wife loved watching you play. Was it difficult for her to witness your controversial behavior\u2014spitting on J.J. Stokes, for instance? \n\nIt's not like she's sitting in the stands saying, \"Oh, wow, my husband just spit in somebody's face! I can't believe he would do that.\" I mean, a lot of times you don't know what's going on out on a football field.\n\nWhat was her feeling about your reputation as a dirty player? Did she feel it was fair? \n\nI don't know if I've ever had that conversation, or have asked her that question.\n\nWhen NFL was fining you on an almost weekly basis, did she say, \"It's not right that they're doing this?\" \n\nMy wife 99% of the time was very supportive and loyal to me and what I did. Some of the decisions I made she did not feel good about. And she let me know.\n\nFor instance? \n\nPhentermine. [pause] THG.\n\nWhat did she say about those things? \n\nThat it's not her value system.\n\nYou've said you would do almost anything to get a competitive edge. Where did you draw the line? \n\nThe line was always moving. Sometimes, it was about illegal or legal, and \"Could I get away with it?\" Sometimes, it was \"Would this create a positive drug test?\" But one thing I would never do is compromise maximum effort in getting ready for a game or getting ready for an upcoming season. Being my best every time I took the field was the most important thing to me.\n\nWhat in your mind, looking back, is the very first time you crossed the line? The point after which everything was different? \n\nProbably taking phentermine.\n\nDid you feel guilty about taking phentermine? What was running through your mind? \n\nNo. I was so caught up in being the absolute best I could be, in getting ready for the next game, the next season, the next workout\u2014I was so blinded by what I had to do to be the best I could be to compete that there's a part of me that didn't really analyze and look at what I was doing all the time.\n\nWhat did you think phentermine was going to do for you? \n\nIt gave me the sense that I could run through a brick wall, if I had to. You just knew if you took that, boom! that was gonna get you right for the game.\n\nDid phentermine have side effects? \n\nYeah. You couldn't sleep that night, and if a football game drains your battery to 5% to 10%, then there was a negative amount of energy left after you took phentermine. It was painful for me to talk to somebody after a game. It was like I would look forward to the offseason coming, to where I didn't have to take it. There was only one time I liked to take it, and that was right before a football game.\n\nDid you see Jerry Maguire?\" \n\nI did.\n\nDo you remember the moment near the end when Cuba Gooding Jr., in that Roy Firestone interview, starts to cry? It seems almost like a rite of passage for tough athletes\u2014whether it's while they're still playing or afterwards\u2014to kind of open up and show they have feelings, too. What do you think that's all about? \n\nNumber one, you gotta realize that if I was just a non-confrontational football player, chances are [journalists] wouldn't want to do this interview. But as far as a rite of passage, I'm hoping that people take away from reading my book that this is a guy who struggled with fears and insecurities at times; that ultimately, he had a work ethic that was second to none, and a passion and a love for the game that was second to none.\n\nToday, what most people think of first when they think of Bill Romanowski is BALCO. Do you worry that might drown out the message of your book? \n\nI'm sure there's people like yourself who are writing articles and creating stories who will focus on that. Because they want more people to read what they're putting down on paper or what they're saying. But I think there's a lot of people that will want to go deeper and reflect.\n\nBALCO is probably the biggest scandal in the history of professional sports. \n\nBALCO is a very small part of Bill Romanowski."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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