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" 1. Ask if he&amp;#039;s cool with you putting on some female-friendly porn in the background. Pause for his thrilled reaction. Then pop in The Notebook. 2. While kissing, pull away and say, &amp;quot;Have you ever seen the MTV special on Furries? Yeah, me neither. But you would make the cuuutest panda!&amp;quot;  3. Before hooking up, shave his initials into your lady jungle. Or better yet, get vajazzled and request his monogram in Swarovski crystals. 4. As he&amp;#039;s rolling on the condom, look lovingly into his eyes and whisper, &amp;quot;By the way, this is my first time.&amp;quot; When he gets a freaked out look on his face, say, &amp;quot;Oh no, that&amp;#039;s not what I mean! I&amp;#039;ve been with tons of guys. I just meant it&amp;#039;s my first time using protection.&amp;quot;  5. Then right after he finishes, reach over and pull a pregnancy test out your nightstand, say &amp;quot;Fingers crossed!&amp;quot; with a big smile on your face then run to the bathroom. 6. Immediately following penetration, shout out, &amp;quot;Yes! I beat that woman who wanted to be a Samantha!&amp;quot;  7. Stop every minute or so to live blog and Tweet the experience. Use the tag #IThinkHesTheOne. 8. Instead of shouting out his name in ecstasy, use your own name. 9. While on top, wonder aloud if the fact that you&amp;#039;ve broken six guys&amp;#039; penises is just a coincidence or has something to do with your bouncing technique. 10. Tell him you&amp;#039;ve never read Cosmo. Watch as he&amp;#039;s overcome with disappointment. PLUS: See more hilarious dating tips in the video below! "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a3285/funny-sex-tips/>