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"According to a new survey from Caron Treatment Centers, 88 percent of women drink alcohol at home (as opposed to bars), and 70 percent have driven while under the influence. Meanwhile, 44 percent admitted to abusing prescription drugs (opiates and benzodiazepines). And 74 percent of the survey respondents are also mothers&amp;amp;#8212;which means that the majority are caring for kids too. The top five reasons for imbibing? Stress or anxiety; romantic relationships; pressure from family or friends; traumatic experience; and just plain boredom. But there&amp;#x27;s so much more to the story. Here, Colleen, a mother who went through a rehabilitation program at Caron, tells what it&amp;#x27;s like to be an alcoholic and a mom&amp;amp;#8212;and what her life is like now that she&amp;#x27;s stopped drinking. (Semi-spoiler: Caron&amp;#x27;s survey also found that 83 percent of moms experienced more emotional closeness with their children after they stopped abusing alcohol and/or drugs!) As the mom to two little kids who also spends a lot of time working (and not enough sleeping), I can understand why another mom might feel the need to escape or relax with alcohol. But tell us why you felt you needed to drink. How did the process happen for you? Was it conscious? Colleen: I needed to escape because I felt overwhelmed and would become frustrated and experience anxiety by all that was going on in my world. I constantly had too much on my plate, which was my own doing most of the time. I wanted to please everyone; I wanted to help a neighbor, start a playgroup, go back to school for a second degree, while telling myself I could only get A&amp;#x27;s, keep a perfect, clean organized home, and make the best gourmet meals. I was a people-pleasing person and set the bar too high. Growing up in an alcoholic home, I never felt good enough, and my parents constantly told me this. Feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, I&amp;#x27;d pour a glass of wine to take the edge off. Medical experts have proven that addiction is hereditary, and I truly believe this as addiction is present throughout my entire family. That one glass of wine helped a bit, so two or three or four would be even better. Yes, the process happened slowly, and the ability to control my consumption was easy to maintain and get away with early on. I did not drink while pregnant, while dating my husband, and I even stopped drinking for one year to prove I did not have a problem. However, I needed more and more over time to give me that sense of relaxation and sanity. Was it conscious? Yes and no. When I noticed I was maybe having more to drink than I should, I began to rationalize my behavior. &amp;quot;Look at all I do, my husband travels all the time, I have to do everything, and I work so hard all the time.&amp;quot; I deserved to drink and let loose once in awhile. If my husband upset me, I drank. I would drive under the influence with my children in the car, thinking that I was fine to drive. Looking back this is insane behavior, as I love my children so much and would never want to put them in danger. When did you realize it had spiraled out of control? What was the situation like? Colleen: When I could no longer control my consumption. I drank when I did not want to drink; I had to drink to get my day going, to stop the shakes, to act normal, to socialize, to function, to calm my nerves. This was in May 2005, one year prior to entering Caron. I was hiding bottles in closets, and the three or four glasses of alcohol just weren&amp;#x27;t cutting it. I stopped volunteering, socializing, and attending events. I began to isolate myself, staying at home where I could hide out and drink. If I did attempt to go out, I needed to drink beforehand. I was scared and ashamed and wanted it all to stop. This behavior meant that I was an alcoholic just like my mother (who died of alcoholism at the age of 50). I thought I was a failure. I was in so much physical and emotional pain that I didn&amp;#x27;t even know what I wanted to do. How hard was it to come to the realization that something had to change? Tell me about admitting the problem&amp;amp;#8212;was it difficult to tell other people? Colleen: It was extremely difficult. If my husband had not kicked me out of the house on May 6, 2006, I don&amp;#x27;t know what would have happened. It broke my heart when my then-12-year-old son helped me pack and said he was afraid of me. Once I was admitted to Caron Treatment Centers on May 8, 2006, I finally felt safe. I still did not believe that I was an alcoholic; maybe I just drank too much too often. It was a safe and caring environment, but I thought I was unique and that no one would understand my behaviors. Once I heard other women share similar experience about their drinking, I began to feel not so alone and began to trust and have hope. But what would other people think of me? I still had a lot of shame and guilt, but the people at Caron understood me and my &amp;quot;character defects&amp;quot;&amp;amp;#8212;they offered me unconditional love. I learned that I wasn&amp;#x27;t a bad person. I was sick. I have a disease: alcoholism. I had no self-confidence or self-esteem, so the shame and guilt I carried was extremely painful. Yes, the thought of telling others was difficult. I spent four months in Caron&amp;#x27;s residential treatment program for women and slowly regained my self-confidence and self-worth. Once this started to happen, I learned to let go of what other people thought of me and accept the situation. Can you explain what the recovery process is like and what your thoughts are about the situation now? Colleen: Alcoholism is a symptom of many underlying issues. With the help of professionals in the field of addiction, I was given the tools necessary to live a sober life. I spent four months in residential treatment, which was truly a gift, even though it was so hard to be away from my children. I often say I had to work through the pain in order to experience the joy. Recovery is progress, not perfection. I became heavily involved with a 12-step support group and followed all the suggestions that have helped so many others to maintain a life of recovery. Today I am so grateful for the life I have. The process of recovery was often difficult early on, but today it is who I am and what I do, one day at a time. I&amp;#x27;m so, so happy for you, Colleen&amp;amp;#8212;thank you for sharing your journey with us! Are there any resources you would suggest for anyone who might need them? Colleen: Thank you, Lexi, for this opportunity and for bringing addiction and the hope of recovery to light for all of the people who continue to suffer behind the pain and stigma that surrounds this disease. I want to encourage anyone struggling with this issue either personally or with a family member or friend to remember that they are not alone. There are a lot of great resources out there to learn more about addiction, treatment, and recovery. Here are a few free spaces to consider: Assessment Programs at Caron, National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Al-Anon Family Groups, and Alcoholics Anonymous. Do you have any thoughts or questions for Colleen? Leave them here! More on alcohol and drugs and how they impact your health (and your life): * Feeling anxious? 3 safe alternatives to taking unprescribed Xanax * 5 warning signs that a woman you know might be an addict * Drunkorexia: when not eating meets binge drinking Photo: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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