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"  1. The I&amp;#039;m Tired but Relationships Are About Compromise Normally it&amp;#039;s cool that he takes awhile to finish but you got up at like 6 a.m. today. You never noticed how the repetitive motion of your head is basically like a baby being rocked to sleep! If you fall asleep with a penis in your mouth, does that make you the coolest and most chill girlfriend ever, or will he think you have just died? THE ANSWER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU.   2. Toothy The second your mind is off technique and on something else (A meeting at work tomorrow? How your childhood stuffed animal is watching you both like a weird inanimate perv?), he does the &amp;quot;Ow, teeth, TEETH&amp;quot; thing that makes you terrified he will be showing Olivia Benson what you did to him on a doll at Law &amp;amp;amp; Order: SVU.   3. Toothless Old Person When you are so concerned about teeth because No. 2 just happened so you roll your lips over your gums like a grandma settling down on her patchwork sofa with some Newman-O&amp;#039;s, about to watch her stories. It&amp;#039;s all real sexy.   4. The One Where It&amp;#039;s Basically a Hand Job Forget bat mitzvahs: The day you learn that you can mostly use your hand and create the illusion that you are putting an entire erect penis in your mouth is the day you really become a woman. And then he sometimes is like, &amp;quot;I love when you fit it all in your mouth,&amp;quot; and you do a little 1950s sitcom wink. Even though only his right ball can see it. Aaand, freeze frame, roll credits.   5. Trying to Spice Things Up After Reading Blow Job Tips. Nothing is spicier or more game-changing than going down on a guy while doing something weird and distracting with your other hand and some object! So you blow him while squeezing papaya juice on his balls and repeating, &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;ve been a naughty schoolboy&amp;quot; to the best of your ability with a penis in your mouth, because, you know, we told you to. Eventually one or both of you laughs and it&amp;#039;s more of a fun bonding exercise than sexy and then you finish it the normal way.   6. Super-Turned On and Ambitious and/or Mildly Annoyed Where you&amp;#039;re like, &amp;quot;You know what? I&amp;#039;m always too gentle,&amp;quot; and start yanking on that thing like it&amp;#039;s a busted slot machine. Because that&amp;#039;s what ... porn stars do? Until your mouth starts hurting or your hand gets a cramp, and you&amp;#039;re like, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m not a porn star, I&amp;#039;m a mid-level office worker with a cramping hand. Give me a second and I&amp;#039;ll start again, but don&amp;#039;t get used to this.&amp;quot;   7. The Why Do I Always Need to Do This as Foreplay but OK, I Guess Female oral sex is rarely on the foreplay menu, but pre-sex blow jobs are practically de rigeur, and that is lame. But you know you have found yourself halfheartedly going down on a guy just to get to the good part because he said he wanted you to &amp;quot;get him started,&amp;quot; or whatever dumb thing they say in that situation.   8. The Great Flood of 2014 You have ceased to be human and become a font of drool. I mean, it&amp;#039;s kind of necessary, but there are times when there&amp;#039;s so much of it, and you feel like Beethoven. Not that one \u2014   Although it would be pretty damn cool if you felt like one.   RELATED: 12 Things Men Think While Receiving a Blow Job 14 Things the Average Woman Thinks While Giving a Blow Job Cosmo Master Class: How to Give a Blow Job  Follow Anna on Twitter.   Photo Credit: Gallery Stock "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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