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"  Dear E. Jean:  My husband was a finalist for the National Book Awards. And I&amp;#039;ve done all right with the literary prizes myself. Last year, a woman (let&amp;#039;s call her Hera as an homage to her mythic heights of jealousy) sent me a series of virulent messages on Facebook claiming she was sleeping with my husband, was in love with him, and that I&amp;#039;d get my heart broken. My husband had dated Hera before we were married, and I neither believed nor responded to her messages. Instead, my husband called and confronted her. This prompted her apology, her confession that she&amp;#039;d &amp;quot;gone off her meds,&amp;quot; and her promise never to contact us again. A few months later, however, Hera appeared at our door, asked my stepdaughter if my husband was at home, and said she wanted to return a book she&amp;#039;d borrowed. My stepdaughter told her to scram. We consulted our lawyer, and he issued Hera a no-contact statement. A year has passed. Hera has moved to another state. But several days ago, I received a similar message, via e-mail, from a woman whose name I didn&amp;#039;t recognize. Believing it to be Hera using a fake e-mail account, I called the police. They said I could be sued for slander if I accused Hera but the cyberbully turned out to be someone else. They said that if I was &amp;quot;concerned,&amp;quot; I should I hire a private detective. I understand Hera is emotionally unbalanced and irrationally obsessed with my husband and that the messages are nothing but desperate lies from a woman in agony\u2014but I feel upset and powerless! I&amp;#039;ve been increasingly rattled because my psychiatrist has suggested the e-mail may actually be from another person\u2014a jealous fellow writer or fan. Now I&amp;#039;m having nightmares! I&amp;#039;m starting to envision every acquaintance in my life turning out to be a cyberbully! What if Hera continues making new e-mail accounts and harassing me until I&amp;#039;m old and gray? I know this isn&amp;#039;t a case for CSI, but I&amp;#039;m quite distraught. How should I proceed?\u2014Sick of the Cyberbully Dear Miss Sick Of:  Please. One e-mail? In a year? Come on\u2014really? You&amp;#039;ve won a National Endowment for the Arts fellowship. Your best stuff conjures up how crazy love makes you feel (I&amp;#039;ve read your poems!), so it should come as no surprise to learn that pretty much everybody gets Facebook messages about ex-lovers. Hell, even Charlotte Bront\u00EB tried &amp;quot;to return a book she borrowed&amp;quot; to the dashing pedant Constantin Heger\u2014the married man she couldn&amp;#039;t help but stalk. If Hera were posting cell phone videos of you removing your clothes at the gym or had launched an online hate campaign to get you dropped by your publishers\u2014that would be cyberbullying. One niggling e-mail? Bah! My best advice is to ignore it. I know, I know, it seems impossible. Your poet brain churns out 8,000 cyber-seduction scenes before breakfast. But you&amp;#039;ve taken the first step; you&amp;#039;ve named your fear. And it&amp;#039;s as deliciously telling a choice as I&amp;#039;ve ever heard: Hera, Zeus&amp;#039; beautiful wife-sister, the goddess of marriage, who goes to any length to stop her husband from banging human women. It doesn&amp;#039;t take a detective to reveal what your fear really is. The e-mailer is not the only jealous woman. Perhaps you don&amp;#039;t trust your husband as much as a confident woman should. Is he a flirt? Is he neglecting you? He&amp;#039;s a famous novelist. He certainly has the words to reassure you. Ask him to. E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com MORE E. JEAN:   How to Know If You&amp;#039;re Marrying the Wrong ManTo Defriend or Not to Defriend Newsfeed SpammersWhy Hiring Your Spouse Is Smart for Your Business and Marriage "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/q-and-a/a14241/ask-e-jean-cyber-stalking-655729/?click=smart&kw=ist&src=smart&mag=ELM&link=-SMT-ELM>