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" When I was diagnosed with breast cancer nine months ago, I had been amidst a major reassessment of my life. Too many things that had once brought me joy had become struggles. Writing went from being something I enjoyed to something I had to do to make ends meet. When it came to dating, I felt damned if I did, damned if I didn&amp;#039;t. The most altruistic venture I ever undertook was plagued with one financial challenge or legal issue after the other. So I began questioning my pursuits and revisiting my values. After much reflection, I discovered that two of my deepest desires are to be an inspiration and to cultivate an enduring legacy. So when I got the Call and diagnosis, it was as if the Universe said, &amp;quot;So you want to be an inspiration, huh? Pues, toma! Let&amp;#039;s see what you do with that.&amp;quot; My impulse in the face of this challenge was to hide. I seriously considered withdrawing from the world and undergoing treatment in secrecy. This is not me I told myself. I don&amp;#039;t want to be known for this. Once I recognized that my ego was behind this impulse, I intuitively knew that my healing depended on being transparent about my cancer journey. Although my choice had little to do with hoping to be an inspiration surviving this life-threatening illness required authenticity. And should overcoming cancer not be in the cards for me, authenticity promised that whatever life I had left possessed meaning. Facing cancer meant recovering my self. Although I had begun therapy several months before my diagnosis, I finally admitted to it, cultural taboos be damned. The difficult conversations I once avoided I now actively pursue and all of my significant relationships have deepened because of it. When something knocks me off my square, rather than rationalize why I should not feel a certain way, I sit with my darker emotions, letting them rise to the surface and whisper their truth so that I can feel centered again. After years of being spiritually inconsistent, I practice meditation and yoga regularly. As a result, I worry much less over things I cannot control, practice more gratitude for all I already have, and have more compassion for myself as well as others. I am also more in my body \u2013 and thanks to that healthier diet and consistent exercise \u2013 I lost 40 pounds. With only one natural breast and no hair, I actually feel sexier than ever! Men who have no idea that my baldness is involuntary apparently agree. Yet I still struggle with being known for this. Breast cancer is not my brand. I am a woman of multiple narratives with many other stories to tell. As I proudly embrace being a survivor as part of my identity now, I pray my ability to inspire is not dependent upon it. But this concern has been trumped lately by a much bigger fear. Far more than dying young, I am deeply afraid of &amp;quot;needing&amp;quot; illness to live up to my potential that has forced change and growth. There. I said it. Even with another eight months of treatments ahead of me listening to this fear and acting on its many lessons is the most significant healing. With chemotherapy ending November 12th, Thanksgiving takes on new meaning this year. I have much to look forward to before year&amp;#039;s end. With the generous assistance of a comadre, I&amp;#039;ll be attending Rich, Happy and Hot, a transformative weekend of learning, planning and networking for creative women entrepreneurs. In December I head to a retreat for cultural activists at the Stone House, a center for &amp;quot;spiritual life and strategic action&amp;quot; in North Carolina. And I just enrolled in another Pink Light Burlesque workshop and may even perform. Ironic, isn&amp;#039;t it? The Universe is now bestowing opportunities for me to have, do and be all those things that I have long desired. And it is just getting started. This will be my last post in the series with Cosmo for Latinas, but if you want to continue following my journey visit my Facebook page: Sofia Quintero aka Black Artemis or follow me on Twitter: @sofiaquintero. Thanks for the support, ladies, and I hope to hear from you soon! For Sofia&amp;#039;s previous posts, click here, here, and here. If you or someone you know has been personally affected by breast cancer, these resources can lift spirits or changes lives. Look Good...Feel Better An American Cancer Society program where women receive skin care tips, attend beauty technique workshops, and learn how to deal with the physical effects on their appearance from treatments. Gilda&amp;#039;s Club This free network provides support to patients, their families, and friends who are living through and with the disease. Check your city for local listings. SHARE A self-help center that partners women diagnosed with breast or ovarian cancer with survivors to share information, advice, and experiences (in English and Spanish). Services range from a hotline to support groups. (866) 891-2392 Patient Advocate Foundation This bilingual national nonprofit helps patients negotiate with insurance companies, jobs, and creditors to ensure they can access care, keep their jobs while in treatment, and not go broke doing it. PatientAdvocate.org "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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