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"    Q: My boyfriend and I have been at home with our son and I work. My problem is that he refuses to step up to the plate of being a stay-at-home dad. When I say that I expect him to do all the things a stay-athome mom does (cook, clean, grocery shop, take our son to and from school, help him with his homework), he gets upset. Why should I continue to support him if he refuses to do his part? \u2014 S.T., 45, California A: I understand your frustration. It only seems fair that since you bring home the bacon, you shouldn&amp;#039;t also have to fry it up. But it sounds a bit like because you work, you believe he should do everything else. If you were the stay-at-home parent, wouldn&amp;#039;t you still expect him to pitch in around the house a bit? Instead of making demands, ask him what he thinks is a fair division of labor. Maybe even create a list of weekly chores and then sit down together and decide who does what. And involve your son: He&amp;#039;s definitely not too young to put away his toys or help clear the table. The point is, you&amp;#039;re a family, and you&amp;#039;re all in this together. The more you&amp;#039;re able to communicate this through word and deed, the more likely your man will rise to the occasion \u2014 without feeling like you pushed him into it. Advice guru Karen Karbo is a mom, a teacher, and the author ofThe Gospel According to Coco Chanel. Do you need life advice? Send questions about friends, family, men, colleagues, and anyone else to karenkarbo@redbookmag.com, and include your initials, age, and state. Letters may be edited for clarity and length. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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