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"Last week I struck a nerve with this divorce post. As life tends to happen, no sooner did I press the &amp;quot;publish&amp;quot; key when I was told by some good friends of ours that they, too, were getting a divorce. &amp;quot;The spark just isn&amp;#039;t there anymore,&amp;quot; said one. &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;re tired of fighting,&amp;quot; said the other. It wasn&amp;#039;t entirely shocking as those two hadn&amp;#039;t been getting along for a while. And yet, the finality of it sent shivers down my spine. Even the normally stoic Rex grew a somber scowl for the rest of the weekend. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve just known them for so long,&amp;quot; he lamented. &amp;quot;I know that everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do - and I&amp;#039;m not judging either of them - but it&amp;#039;s just sad.&amp;quot; I couldn&amp;#039;t agree more. After all, as I admitted in the last post, I have been through a divorce myself. I had my reasons for it: I was young, naive, didn&amp;#039;t know what I was doing. My excuses for getting out? I felt trapped, it never was the right fit, we didn&amp;#039;t have kids... I wanted a clean break. For the more religious crowd out there, my reasons probably don&amp;#039;t sound very acceptable. After all, the vows didn&amp;#039;t say, &amp;quot;Til death do us part, unless your mate gets really boring, grows a pot belly and you can&amp;#039;t take one more night of SportsCenter.&amp;quot; Many take a clue from their Bible of choice which states in no uncertain terms that divorce, unless abuse occurs, is wrong. Now that I&amp;#039;m older, and I am seeing life through a more spiritual lense, I often wonder if my first marriage could have worked. After all, if I turned my frustrations to a higher power, instead of relying on instant gratification that no human can possibly meet, would I perhaps still be with my first husband? And even more to the point, would I be content? In my opinion there&amp;#039;s a difference between &amp;quot;accepting&amp;quot; challenges in marraige and simply being a martyr. (I don&amp;#039;t do tortured martrr well... Though I would love the name St. Andrea, Patron Saint of Sex Columns.&amp;quot;!) I think about acceptance in the case of my two friends - twenty years older than I was when I got divorced. They have a child now. They are more mature. Is there nothing they could do to get that spark back? Do they really think that another person will fulfill them more? I would be a complete hypocrite to crucify my friends for resorting to what I did all those years ago. But... and I can only say this from experience... if I didn&amp;#039;t drastically change my expectations of marriage, despite having a fabulous husband in Rex, I would not still be with Rex today. Marriage is hard work. No man can fill every aspect of my life. For me, God is the ticket. It&amp;#039;s not for everyone.  So I&amp;#039;m going to ask the question again: What is the answer to fulfillment in marriage during the rocky times with your spouse? Is &amp;quot;out&amp;quot; always the right answer? Have you ever thought you couldn&amp;#039;t take it anymore but dug deep and turned it around? I&amp;#039;d love to know. I&amp;#039;m sure there are several women/men out there who are going through a difficult time and could use some encouragement. As for me, especially if there are kids involved, I&amp;#039;d like to encourage couples to find peace within their marriage. No, I don&amp;#039;t think &amp;quot;staying together for the children while being miserable&amp;quot; is the answer. But I am asking what you can do to stay together and not be miserable. It&amp;#039;s a challenge, but it is indeed possible. Here are a few tips. And, speaking of tips (Yes, you knew I&amp;#039;d go there) never underestimate the power a weekly romp. Remind me to tell you the apron story next week. Thoughts on making marriage work? * Rex and me on our wedding day. Thank God, all these years later, I still love kissing that man. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a20665/when-the-spark-is-gone-move-on/>