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" The crash-and-burn is a short-lived &amp;amp;#8220;relationship&amp;amp;#8221; where one person says serious things and the other takes a cue from his/her intense behavior and words, and it&amp;amp;#8217;s veryveryexcitingverypromising!!! and then it dies a quick death. We could say that Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal experienced a crash-and-burn. Even though we were never a fly on the wall when they went for coffee in Brooklyn or to Gwyneth Paltrow&amp;amp;#8217;s house for dinner, we know that jetting to London and Nashville for someone you hardly know has all the trappings of a crash-and-burn. It takes major work and commitment&amp;amp;#8212;at such an early stage!&amp;amp;#8212;for two busy people to be able to coordinate that kind of complicated schedule. Even if their assistants do it. So watch how your date plans develop&amp;amp;#8212;think of being courted on home turf, rather than being chased around the world. Here are some ways to keep your budding relationship normal and healthy:1. Put yourself in charge of pacing him. You need time to process the good and the bad stuff. If he&amp;amp;#8217;s already talking about the next five-star date, it&amp;amp;#8217;s easy to push away negative thoughts such as, &amp;amp;#8220;Why didn&amp;amp;#8217;t he tip our waitress?&amp;amp;#8221; Also, if he&amp;amp;#8217;s talking about sky-diving, you might think he&amp;amp;#8217;s thinking of marriage, because surely sky-diving is not something he would do with any old girl, but odds are, he&amp;amp;#8217;s just thinking of sky-diving. So manage your expectations&amp;amp;#8212;and that&amp;amp;#8217;s easier if you slow down. Pace him if you have to. He may talk with all the force of a Mac truck, but you are the red light. Don&amp;amp;#8217;t let him push, even if you&amp;amp;#8217;re excited. You can tell him you&amp;amp;#8217;re busy tonight&amp;amp;#8212;even if you like him. Take it easy. Take it all in. Process! 2. Don&amp;amp;#8217;t provide excuses for crazyfast behavior with, &amp;amp;#8220;It&amp;amp;#8217;s okay, this one is different.&amp;amp;#8221; If this one is different, great! Time will tell. The one who turns out to be different will stay no matter what. You don&amp;amp;#8217;t need to help it along. Anyway, you are more likely than not to say, &amp;amp;#8220;This is different&amp;amp;#8221;&amp;amp;#133;because we want it to be different. Who doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t want it to be different? You want to trust and believe in him, that this isn&amp;amp;#8217;t just about lust and sex&amp;amp;#8212;that he really cares so soon about you as a person. We see what we want to see. Ask yourself this: Is he working to gain your trust? Is he trying to build a foundation? Or is he just having fun? 3. Watch what he does, not what he says. Is he talking about weddings already? Is he talking about &amp;amp;#8220;forever&amp;amp;#8221;? Guys can talk a lot. Talking is easy. You know the saying: Women fall in love between their ears. Men know this. So they say what you want to hear. But a kind gesture or action takes effort, and is worth a thousand words. 4. Hang back a little. I find that it&amp;amp;#8217;s usually the guys who are leading a crash-and-burn. Girls have to warm up to guys. Remember, the Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger says, &amp;quot;Men are microwaves, women are Crockpots. Women heat up very slowly. They take in information; they decipher it&amp;amp;#133;. Men know in one second, yes or no.&amp;amp;#8221; So don&amp;amp;#8217;t facilitate the momentum, or accelerate things, by volunteering to, say, rearrange your global tour schedule. Let him go out of his way. We&amp;amp;#8217;ll see how he does with #3. 5. Make sure you have things in common. Differences can be exhilarating&amp;amp;#8212;and a crash-and-burn thrives on exhilaration. But if you have nothing in common, or you&amp;amp;#8217;re too mismatched, or you&amp;amp;#8217;re 20 years old and he&amp;amp;#8217;s 30, well&amp;amp;#133;start looking for things you do have in common. 6. Don&amp;amp;#8217;t get too grandiose with plans in the beginning. You could plan a long day of fun, but if it involves even slight travel, discuss it rationally. What is not rational is a flight to St. Thomas for an entire weekend, unless you are both jetsetter types and you both own pieds-a-terre in that region. Remember, real life is not The Bachelor, or even The Millionaire Matchmaker. (Or The Notebook!&amp;amp;#8212;just ask Ryan Gosling.) And it&amp;amp;#8217;s definitely not London-California-Nashville-New York-in-two-months, even if you are a top singer or actor. Have you ever experienced a crash-and-burn? What, in hindsight, led to the downfall? What&amp;#x27;s With All the Spam in the Comments Section? Sick of all those annoying ads in the comments section lately? So are we! We police the site regularly and delete spam as soon as we can, but recently, the volume of spam has increased dramatically. We&amp;#x27;re working on a way to block them permanently, so please bear with us, and know that we&amp;#x27;re as eager as you are to get rid of these pests. Meanwhile, please continue to use the Report Abuse button to flag spam--it really does help!-- and continue to leave your brilliant feedback below. If you have any urgent questions about the spam, please contact us. And a special note to you, spammers; we officially declare you a major DON&amp;#x27;T. More Ways to Get Glamour Visit ShopGlamour.com for cute stuff starting at just $10! Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! Follow us on Twitter! Add us to your iGoogle homepage. Photo: Getty Images for CMT "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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