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"  Congratulations to Steve Martin. Without anyone knowing, he and his wife, Anne Stringfield, had a child in December. And according to a source quoted in Page Six of the New York Post, &amp;quot;They are thrilled. They worked hard to have the baby.&amp;quot; As fellow fathers are wont to do, we&amp;#039;d like to offer just a little bit (okay, so we&amp;#039;ve got a lot) of advice to the man. By now, Steve has definitely learned some things quickly \u2014 &amp;quot;Changing a newborn baby&amp;#039;s diaper is weird, but it&amp;#039;s not difficult. (That the shit of a newborn doesn&amp;#039;t stink is also weird. And a blessing.)&amp;quot; And maybe nobody knows this better than Steve Martin himself, but there&amp;#039;s a lot at stake when you&amp;#039;re a father. And:  What&amp;#039;s at stake is best contemplated when you are alone with the baby. And being alone with the baby is best done a few days in and very late at night \u2014 because you want to allow the baby&amp;#039;s mother to get some sleep. And being alone with the baby late at night \u2014 watching it fall asleep in your arms and then wake up over the course of two or three hours \u2014 is as unfamiliar as it gets. Heat will radiate from its tiny body into your stomach. There will be squirming. There will be shitting, the sluicing sound of which is louder than you&amp;#039;d think. Its eyes might open a little, even while it&amp;#039;s sleeping. And at some point there will be staring. Having a staring contest with a newborn is one of the weirdest things you will ever do. And it is highly recommended. Because the baby is a stranger, and you need to get to know it. And he will need to know who Steve is, too. As we wrote, among the things a father should give his son when he grows up is &amp;quot;as full a rendering of his own life as possible, at least once.&amp;quot; The kid will be a lucky man. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/a19460/steve-martin-father-15095959/>