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"FacebookPinterest\n\nFor those of you who live in the various international bastions of hipsterdom--Brooklyn, Berlin, Portland, Echo Park, etc.--surely you've noticed the rising popularity of these one-eyed wonders. Rollin' around on your fixie, praying you don't splash mud on your $900 selvage jeans, and all the while thinking, Man I wish I looked more like Colonel Klink. You can barely find a person who can see out of both eyes anymore.Yep, monocles are everywhere. What's that, you haven't seen them? Not one? So then what the hell is going on here?\n\nThe New York Times published their latest trend piece yesterday, anointing the monocle as the newest must-have hipster accessory. \"From the trendy enclaves of Berlin cafes and Manhattan restaurants to gin ads and fashion magazines, the monocle is taking its turn alongside key 21st-century accouterments like sharply tucked plaid shirts and certificates in swine butchering,\" they wrote. And as we've proved before, once the Times calls something a trend, that trend is officially over. It's a natural law. But what happens when the Times declares something a trend when it's not a trend at all?\n\nNone can argue that The New York Times lacks for top notch reporting. Some of the best in the business, in fact. Which is how we get such monocle trivia as:\n\n\"Ray Gallagher, a British seller who has been in the optical business since 1963, has seen sales at his online store The Monocle Shop double over the last five years.\"\n\nOr...\n\n\"David Gilboa, a founder of Warby Parker, said its monocle has been a surprising hit among chefs who need help seeing recipes.\"\n\nAnd then, according to Martin Raymond, a British trend forecaster (that's a thing?):\n\n\"All of this is part of a sense of irony and a way of discovering and displaying old artisanal and craft-based technology.\"\n\nWhich kinda makes sense. Upped sales, irony, etc. But who the hell's ever seen anyone actually wearing one? We decided to hit the ground in the hipster hamlet of Williamsburg to do a little reporting of our own. \"This sounds like a joke,\" said Emily Chancellor, an advertising ecutive who lives in Williamsburg. \"No, I don't believe I have seen any monocles.\" According to writer Jonathan Merritt, another Williamsburg local, he's never seen anyone with a monocle, either, \"But if I did, I'd ask him to recommend a good bourbon. And then we'd sip for hours while we listened to the latest tunes on his phonograph and trade stories about the Great War.\" Not even our very own GQ assistant editor Dennis Tang, a longtime Williamsburgian, can claim witness to any monocle wearing. \"I've seen shit, man. I've seen penny-farthing bikes, hundreds of sailor tats, and facial hair straight out of Jack Horner's pool party. But no, never a monocle.\"\n\nSo what are those crazy trendspotters at the Gray Lady up to? Perhaps the Times is gaming the system. By declaring something cool a trend, they make it uncool. So if they declare something uncool a trend, does it make it cool? Like a double negative? Or is it a preemptive way to make it uncool? Or, perhaps it's just a sly critique to the fact that The New Yorker's Hipster Tilley doesn't wear a monocle? The only thing that's clear: Our heads hurt. And, please, for the sake of fashion and your optometrist, stick to ye olde' glasses."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.gq.com/story/new-york-times-trend-story-monocles>