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"  Corpus delicti, darlings. It means &amp;quot;the body of the crime.&amp;quot; And since this is ELLE&amp;#039;s body issue, and because several correspondents have written to Auntie Eeee about multiple crimes (not to mention a corpse), let&amp;#039;s see who&amp;#039;s guilty and who&amp;#039;s innocent this month, shall we?   THE CRIME: DATING A MAN YOUR MOTHER DOESN&amp;#039;T LIKEDEAR E. JEAN : For the past four months, I&amp;#039;ve been seeing a wonderful, smart, funny man. My mother is worried because I&amp;#039;m 22 and he&amp;#039;s 32. He also has two small children from a previous affair and spent 10 months in prison. I understand her concern and anxiety\u2014I do! But should that stop me from pursuing the first man I have ever truly loved?\u2014Frustrated but Happy  FRUSTRATED, BABY : As a broad, general rule, mothers do not like their daughters to marry ex-cons. I&amp;#039;m not saying he isn&amp;#039;t a beacon of godlike perfection. And I&amp;#039;m not saying you should do what your mother says. (Men can change and should be forgiven. Heck, the fellow has proven his mettle just by surviving America&amp;#039;s glorious penal system, let alone rehabilitating himself.) Go ahead. See him. (Like you wouldn&amp;#039;t anyway.) But I caution you: This man does not walk the straight and narrow. He must provide for two kids. Don&amp;#039;t rush into things\u2014don&amp;#039;t move in together, don&amp;#039;t marry, and above all, don&amp;#039;t you dare get pregnant until you&amp;#039;ve finished college, begun your career, and made your own mistakes. Then you can decide on the next step.  THE CRIME: YOUR EX IS FOUND FONDLING A FEMALE AT LA PERLADEAR E. JEAN : I ran into my ex-boyfriend today. He and I went out a couple of years ago and now he&amp;#039;s married. His wife is a very sweet, nice person. But the problem is, I saw him with another woman in La Perla. They were buying lingerie for her! What should I do in this sticky situation: call the guy out? Or just keep my mouth shut? \u2014Bothered in the City MISS BOTHERED, MY BLOSSOM : Remember the corpse I mentioned in my little introduction? This is the guy. Call the wife. Many profoundly brilliant women will be outraged by this (they&amp;#039;d tell you it&amp;#039;s none of your business, that you have no idea what&amp;#039;s really going on in the marriage and not to meddle). But I say, make the call. Why?  E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com It is the most generous action you can take. Imagine if the shoe (a white patent Dior pump) was on the other foot. If your husband/fianc\u00E9/lover was in a lingerie store shopping for lace panties with another woman, wouldn&amp;#039;t you want to know about it? Is it more genuinely compassionate to let a woman be played for a fool by a cad? Or tell her the facts so she can take intelligent action? In my personal opinion, it is unethical to keep your mouth shut.  THE CRIME: BOYFRIEND CHATS UP ECDYSIASTDEAR E. JEAN : I hate the idea of strip clubs. I don&amp;#039;t want another naked chick in front of my man! Stripping undermines my identity as a woman, a feminist, a girlfriend, and a lover. That said, my boyfriend is one of those generous guys who grossly overtips, shakes the hands of homeless people, and is charming to everyone he meets. But he also went to strip clubs in his college days. I had trouble getting over this fact, and I thought I had put it behind me...until last week.  We were out with friends when a slurring woman came over and struck up a conversation with my boyfriend. She was sketchy, and I snapped at him, &amp;quot;Why don&amp;#039;t the two of you catch up?&amp;quot; and then went outside to smoke a cigarette. Five whole minutes later he comes out and lies to me about where he met her (one of his friends accidentally revealed that my boyfriend knew her from the strip club Scores).  I admit I freaked. I was livid! I went to his apartment and waited. I regret all that I did. I slapped him, hit him, ripped his shirt. I sobbed, we screamed, it&amp;#039;s surprising no one called the cops. I said terrible things to him (&amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re a typical New York disappointment...stupid male scum...pathetic&amp;quot;). I am not a weak girl. I am sensitive and I am in love. And I&amp;#039;m in a vulnerable state because I am currently unemployed, an Ivy League grad, and looking for a job. My question: He thinks he&amp;#039;s met me halfway because he put up with my crying fit and rages. And though he says he won&amp;#039;t do it again, I feel scared and sick that he might. He is a beautiful, magnetic, brilliant man! He has told his mother and his friends he wants to marry me. And despite always having deemed it a frivolous tradition, I want to marry too. So where do we go from here?\u2014Getting Angry Again as I Write This E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com MISS GETTING : Married? Cast your eye over your own letter, my love. You&amp;#039;re an Ivy League feminist. Put the text to the acid test: Change the sexes. Read your words as if they&amp;#039;d been written by a man: &amp;quot;I went to her apartment and waited. I slapped her, hit her, ripped her shirt. It&amp;#039;s surprising no one called the cops. I said terrible things to her (&amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re a typical New York disappointment...stupid female scum...pathetic&amp;quot;). If someone had called the police, Miss Not-a-Weak-Girl, you could be writing me from the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility for women while doing a stretch of two to five for assault and battery on your &amp;quot;beautiful, magnetic, brilliant man.&amp;quot; Go to a psychologist specializing in rage management. Your happiness as a human being is at stake. A counselor will give you strategies for lowering your frustration level and changing the patterns of your overly histrionic, irrational thoughts; and, most importantly, you will gain perspective on why you can&amp;#039;t write a letter about your &amp;quot;beautiful&amp;quot; boyfriend without oozing fury. P.S. E-mail me when you&amp;#039;ve figured out that there are transgressions men can commit which are greater than talking to a stripper...or when you&amp;#039;re able to laugh at yourself. Whichever comes first. Then I&amp;#039;ll know you&amp;#039;re ready for cocktails with me, Dirty Martini, and World Famous Bob, two of the jauntiest, cleverest, biggest burlesque stars in New York.  THE CRIME: THE BOSS IS AN ASSDEAR E. JEAN : I&amp;#039;m a 37-year-old woman\u2014happy, wealthy enough, but terribly insecure. With the help of a personal trainer and a sensible diet, I shed more than 200 pounds and am now stronger than ever. However, I still think of myself as obese. Enter my boss.  I have worked here eight years. My boss and I have always been on good terms, though we&amp;#039;re certainly not friends. A year ago, he started asking me how I was losing the weight and started giving me diet &amp;quot;tips.&amp;quot; He even recommended what my goal dress size should be. I tried to ignore him. A week ago he called me into his office to ask me if I had considered plastic surgery. E. Jean! I didn&amp;#039;t know what to say! I thought he meant gastric bypass, but he then said, &amp;quot;No, I mean cosmetic surgery.&amp;quot; I may not look like Angelina Jolie, but I&amp;#039;m certainly not hideous. I went home and cried. And I still feel ashamed when I see him. How can I keep this from happening again?\u2014Skinny Just Won&amp;#039;t Cut It Anymore E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com MISS SKINNY : I fling my hands to the heavens in adulation! First, I am in awe of your losing 200 pounds. Second, I congratulate you for not zipping your boss into his skinny pants and drop-kicking him into the nearest river. Chumps of the first class (and your boss is one) simply lack the savvy to see that their nauseating suggestions are dumb, subhuman, and staggeringly painful. But you also need to keep your job. Next time he says something pitiless, like about how you should get breast implants as big as traffic cones, tell him (amiably) to put a sock in it.  Say with a smile: &amp;quot;Mr.______, you&amp;#039;re an excellent boss. Working with a brilliant man like you has been wonderful for my career, and I promise I&amp;#039;ll follow your advice (here repeat his dopey idea). But you must endeavor not to hurt my feelings with suggestions about my appearance.&amp;quot; Then raise an eyebrow, grin at him like Agatha Christie smiling at a cadaver, and return to your desk.  THE CRIME: FUTURE FIANC\u00C9 SENDS LUST-CRAZED TEXT MESSAGES TO SOMEONE ELSEDEAR E. JEAN : I caught my gem of a boyfriend engaging in raunchy text messages with a man. After many hours of crying and shouting he admitted to me that he and this person have engaged in sexual contact. I&amp;#039;m crushed! This is the love of my life! I would never have suspected cheating from him! He said he had to get his curiosity out of his system before he asked me to marry him this summer. Should I take him back, E. Jean? I know I&amp;#039;m young (23), but he is an absolute treasure.\u2014Want to Forgive WANT, MY YOUNG PRUNE : Your &amp;quot;treasure&amp;quot; is a liar, your &amp;quot;gem&amp;quot; is a cheat, the &amp;quot;love of your life&amp;quot; is a poseur, and the dude who says he wants to ask you to marry him &amp;quot;this summer&amp;quot; is a crybaby. It doesn&amp;#039;t take Patricia Cornwell to figure out whether or not you should &amp;quot;take him back.&amp;quot; Oh, and did I mention he may not be straight? Honey, please move on. E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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