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"When you select a school and begin to envision life at college this fall, it can be both exciting and overwhelming to prepare for all of the changes ahead of you. For many high school seniors, one of the biggest emotional challenges will be saying goodbye to a significant other. Should you try to make a long-distance relationship work? Take an indefinite \"break?\" Separate and stop speaking? There's no easy solution. We consulted the experts on what you can do now to prepare for the transition.\n\nCheck in with yourself about how you feel.\n\n \"Before you talk to your significant other, figure out what you really want,\" says Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out. \"When you're caught up by the emotions of leaving, it's easy to make promises to make the other person feel better. Ask yourself how you feel when imagining being monogamous at college with someone who's not there. When you imagine yourself being in an open relationship, how does that feel? Listen to that.\"\n\nConsider the seriousness of your relationship.\n\n \"Everything depends on the depth of the relationship,\" says Jen Kirsch, a freelance relationship columnist. \"I think staying together in college is doable when you're in a relationship and completely in love. If you're just in the relationship so that you're not alone and you have someone to go prom with, going to college is perhaps the perfect excuse to break up.\"\n\nSchedule specific times to discuss your relationship.\n\n \"Have dedicated times this summer when you sit down and talk about college,\" says Simmons. \"If all you do is sit around and grieve about what's about to happen, you're wasting precious moments in your relationship when you get to celebrate the accomplishment of graduating and enjoy the summer after you graduate. If, on the other hand, you don't talk about what's coming, it's going to hit you like a brick wall. Create designated times to discuss it, but otherwise, don't go there because it can easily take over your lives. The fact is that everyone is anxious about college starting, so it would be easy to channel that anxiety into your relationship.\"\n\nCreate a plan for the fall.\n\n \"It's important to ensure that you both are on the same page now,\" says Kirsch. \"In terms of keeping in touch if you decide to stay together, create a schedule. Acknowledge that things are going to be tough, but plan things to do together and decide if either of you are going to visit one another. This way, you'll know what to expect.\"\n\nMake use of social media.\n\n \"Skype, FaceTime, and Facebook help if you do stay together,\" says Kirsch. \"You can not only maintain, but sometimes further a relationship when you're farther apart. Today, so many people are getting together online and forming deep relationships before they even meet. It goes to show you the ability to maintain and further connections with someone who is far away. You can schedule Skype dates so that they won't get in the way of your studying. Skype 'dinner dates' are great: Plan to eat dinner at the same time so that it's almost like sitting in your dorm eating together.\"\n\nBeware of \"breaks.\"\n\n \"If someone suggests to take a break just to have fun and to see who else is out there, then they probably aren't the right person for you,\" says Kirsch. \"Be with someone who doesn't want to lose you. A break means keeping someone around just in case you don't find a better option.\"\n\nIf you do break up, set boundaries.\n\n \"I know it's hard, but if there's communication, it's not a breakup,\" says Rachel Sussman, author of The Breakup Bible. \"When calling and texting, there's so much room for misunderstanding. If you're both trying to separate but you're still communicating with each other, it could lead to jealousy and fighting.\"\n\nRemember to prioritize your college experience.\n\n \"Your freshman year is when you are going to meet people that will most likely be your friends for the rest of college, and sometimes for the rest of your life,\" says Sussman. \"College is such an important time. If you spend too much time talking to your boyfriend or running to him every weekend, you may not be able to integrate and have the full freshman experience.\"\n\nUnderstand that this is an adjustment for both of you.\n\n \"You have to strike a delicate balance,\" says Simmons. \"I think a successful long-distance, freshman-year relationship will acknowledge that there is a new thing in your significant other's life, and that is college. Don't see your significant other's college experience as a threat to your relationship. Work with it, not against it. When you start to get angry about your significant other's new friends and obligations, you put that person in a position of having to choose between college and you, and you're not going to win.\""^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.teenvogue.com/story/graduation-college-romantic-relationships>