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" Dear E. Jean: My boyfriend is a freeloader, a moocher, and a lazy bum who&amp;#039;s depleting my groceries, my toiletries (my $30 shampoo!), and my patience. He clings to me 24-7. If I say, &amp;quot;Let&amp;#039;s take some time away from each other,&amp;quot; he refuses. The longest he&amp;#039;s gone without seeing me\u2014I send him to his parents&amp;#039; house\u2014is one day. Then he&amp;#039;s back in my apartment. He&amp;#039;s a physical trainer but has no work, never pays for anything, smokes weed all day, and is on unemployment, and, on top of everything, I pick up the checks when we go out, and he borrows money from me. I&amp;#039;m so sick of it. He&amp;#039;s 30! I know he loves me unconditionally, but I can&amp;#039;t support a grown man forever. Please help me break up with him kindly, without creating resentment and anger. \u2014Feeling Guilty but About to Explode! Girl, Please: A 30-year-old blood-sucker is wound around your torso, ramming its proboscis into any place it can find a credit card, and you feel guilty? Get rid of him! There&amp;#039;s no way to detach a leech without causing pain, and, as you know, you must never remove a leech with salt, matches, or pulling. How to Remove a Leech:1. Put on a pretty frock and say: &amp;quot;Let&amp;#039;s go out to dinner!&amp;quot;2. Call a taxi. Choose a restaurant famous for its Napa Valley cuisine. Order the $65 tasting menu.3. After dessert, when the check arrives, tell the leech, er, your boyfriend that you wish him a long and happy life, but if he can&amp;#039;t pay for dinner\u2014just this once\u2014it&amp;#039;s over. He will work his anterior (oral) sucker at top speed, jabbering excuses.4. On the way home in the taxi, he will declare he loves you &amp;quot;unconditionally.&amp;quot; Never mind. Just flick him off at his parents&amp;#039; house. (He&amp;#039;ll be surprised to see boxes of his bongs and belongings stacked in the yard. There&amp;#039;s no need to explain that you arranged for friends to pack his things while you were at the restaurant. Just say, &amp;quot;Leech, the only thing you love unconditionally is my bank account.&amp;quot;)5. Ask the taxi driver to honk the horn as you drive away. It&amp;#039;s your first moment of delicious, glorious freedom! (The wound will itch as it heals, so do not let the leech reattach itself.) "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/advice/a14341/ask-e-jean-woman-asks-how-to-break-up-with-lazy-boyfriend/?click=smart&kw=ist&src=smart&mag=ELM&link=-SMT-ELM>