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" My partner and I have been together for six years, which means that we&amp;#039;ve had plenty of time to try every tip, trick, and safe word in our joint sexual repertoire. (My favorite safe word is Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen, by the way. It&amp;#039;s just got an air of elegance to it!) What we haven&amp;#039;t tried are Cosmo&amp;#039;s most daring sex tips; those that include nude portraits, donuts, and candy jewelry left over from our last Halloween party, when we learned that adults prefer drinking to ring pops. Their loss! In the coming weeks, I&amp;#039;ll be trying out some of Cosmo&amp;#039;s naughty tips and reporting back. First up: &amp;quot;Pick up candy necklaces and slide them up each other&amp;#039;s thighs. Then nibble off each piece. I ran into my first problem when I went foraging for the candy necklaces in our pantry, which resembles the island of misfit toys because it&amp;#039;s a huge mess of random things we have nowhere else to put. And spices. &amp;quot;What are you looking for?&amp;quot; My partner asked me when he found me on my hands and knees, cursing at a sack of flour that had fallen on my head. &amp;quot;Candy necklaces,&amp;quot; I replied with what I hoped was an air of seduction. &amp;quot;I threw them out,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;They&amp;#039;re bad for your health and you look like a crazy person gnawing on them. What do you need them for, anyway?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;A sweet and sexy surprise,&amp;quot; I responded, winking. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m not involved and you&amp;#039;ve got flour in your hair,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m going to go watch TV now.&amp;quot; First order of business: buy a sack of off-season candy jewelry. Luckily, unlike real jewelry (which you can only buy at Kay&amp;#039;s) you can buy sickly-sweet necklaces and edible ankle-bracelets in bulk. You just have to plan your visit to sexual candyland (god, I feel dirty writing that) in advance, because it can take up to a week to get your &amp;quot;100ct. Candy Necklaces Wrapped.&amp;quot; I wouldn&amp;#039;t suggest buying the candy at a store because people will make jokes about you having a van and you&amp;#039;ll spend your bus ride home worried that someone called the police based on your suspicious purchase. Second order of business: get partner involved. This was actually easier than expected. A had had a difficult week at work, so when I suggested we retire to the boudoir for some alone time he agreed quickly. After a quick break to feed the bunny (not a euphemism) we found ourselves in bed, with the lights off. Of course, there&amp;#039;s no use employing sex props if the other party can&amp;#039;t see them so I switched on the light and told A that I had a surprise. And then I made the mistake of dragging out a giant bag of candy and brandishing it at him. If you try this at home, make sure to separate the jewelry and remove each of the individual pieces from the wrapping and perhaps put them in a bowl. A sexy one. Because when you just whip out a bag of candy and offer to put it on your partner&amp;#039;s member the response will not be as positive as you would hope. &amp;quot;Can&amp;#039;t we just do it the normal way, please?&amp;quot; A begged me. &amp;quot;I promise I won&amp;#039;t tell anyone if we don&amp;#039;t do this.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;No! It&amp;#039;s a challenge and will bring us closer together! Now help me unwrap these so I can put them on you.&amp;quot; While the sexual chemistry between us was strong that night, I don&amp;#039;t know if it had more to do with the actual candy or the frustration we felt trying to unwrap and put them on each other, stretching each piece of jewelry to capacity. The bracelets and necklaces are tight on children; on adults they can quickly become weapons of torture, especially if at least one of you has hair anywhere. And I&amp;#039;m not going to lie, the candy can get sticky, first in a sexy way and then in a very non-sexy one. The best case scenario is that you get your partner into joining you in the shower to help you pick it all off, which will hopefully lead to other things. And that&amp;#039;s exactly what happened. Afterwards, A and I got back into bed. As I turned off the light I asked him for some feedback. &amp;quot;It was fun, but I hope you don&amp;#039;t expect us to do this enough to use up the entire bag of candy,&amp;quot; he told me. &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t know if I&amp;#039;m ready for that kind of commitment.&amp;quot; And then he flicked a stray piece of candy at me to signify the discussion was over. As he turned to go to sleep, I reached under my pillow and brought out the candy bracelet I had hidden there. And then I began to gnaw, getting my money&amp;#039;s worth. Previously: I Tried Cosmo&amp;#039;s Insane Sex Tips \u2014 This Is My Story Photo Credit: Getty Images Follow Mark on Twitter. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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