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"  His Fear: That you&amp;#039;ll be different from what he&amp;#039;s expecting. We&amp;#039;ve all been there \u2014 you thought the date went perfectly, he acts fine the whole time, and afterwards, you wait for him to call and...zilch. The sudden blow-off could be because you ended up being different than you were when he first asked you out. Even if it&amp;#039;s as small as sucking down a few too many cocktails when you may have told him you &amp;#039;don&amp;#039;t drink much,&amp;#039; he&amp;#039;ll wonder if he sized you up all wrong in the first place. Doubting his own judgment isn&amp;#039;t a comfortable feeling\u2014it&amp;#039;s something every guy dreads. What You Can Do: Dating is kind of like shopping, says Steve Nakamoto, relationship expert and author of Men Are Like Fish \u2014 you don&amp;#039;t want to be different from how you&amp;#039;re advertised. Maybe you&amp;#039;re just drinking more because you&amp;#039;re nervous, but the best way to show you&amp;#039;re the same great girl you were when he first noticed you? Share stories with him. &amp;quot;Stories make for the most genuine conversation since you&amp;#039;re actually sharing real experiences,&amp;quot; Nakamoto says. &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;ll get a taste of your actual life that way.&amp;quot; His Fear: He won&amp;#039;t be the only one you&amp;#039;re interested in. Guys feel like on the first date more than ever, there&amp;#039;s insane pressure to really wow a girl. So he worries that his competition \u2014 aka every other hot guy in the room \u2014 could steal your attention. &amp;quot;He has no way of knowing whether you&amp;#039;re a serious dater or if you&amp;#039;re just looking for a casual fling,&amp;quot; Nakamoto says. He&amp;#039;ll watch for signs, like whether or not your eyes stay focused on him or if they wander throughout the date. And even if you&amp;#039;re just looking around at the busy room, the worst of him may assume you&amp;#039;re checking out that R-Patz look-a-like a few booths over. &amp;quot;He ultimately fears looking stupid,&amp;quot; Nakamoto says. What You Can Do: If you&amp;#039;re in a busy place, you&amp;#039;re bound to both be distracted at one point or another \u2014 you can&amp;#039;t have your eyes glued to him at all times. Instead, reassure him that you&amp;#039;re truly interested in him by commenting on the things he says. If he shares a surprising story with you, say something like, &amp;quot;Oh, that&amp;#039;s really interesting! I never would have guessed that.&amp;quot; Then ask him to elaborate a little more to create a back-and-forth, which he&amp;#039;ll instantly recognize as you being truly engaged in what he&amp;#039;s saying. &amp;quot;That shows you&amp;#039;ve been involved in the conversation, and that he&amp;#039;s actually making a good impression on you,&amp;quot; Nakamoto says. His Fear: He&amp;#039;ll touch you too soon. Making any physical contact with a girl at all for the first time can be really stressful for guys, says Dr. Paul Dobranksy, author of The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love, whether it&amp;#039;s just putting his hand on your leg or brushing up against your arm. &amp;quot;In the courtship dance, he knows there&amp;#039;s a way things are supposed to go, so he&amp;#039;s concerned that he&amp;#039;s following those guidelines.&amp;quot; He&amp;#039;ll have a battle with himself: he wants you to know he  wants to kiss you, but he doesn&amp;#039;t want to come off as pushy or overbearing. If he doesn&amp;#039;t get the response he&amp;#039;s looking for, it&amp;#039;ll be mortifying for him. What You Can Do: Simple: Beat him to the punch. If you sense your guy&amp;#039;s feeling awkward about getting close, signal that it&amp;#039;s OK by initiating the first contact yourself, Dobransky says. If you&amp;#039;re sitting across from him at the table, graze his leg with yours. Or if you&amp;#039;re side-by-side, put a hand on his arm when you reach to grab a slice of bread. That way, he&amp;#039;ll get the message that you actually want him to touch you. His Fear: You won&amp;#039;t give him another date. Yup, before you&amp;#039;ve even ordered that Bloomin&amp;#039; Onion appetizer, he&amp;#039;s already wondering if you&amp;#039;ll be hitting the town together next Saturday, too. Why? Guys approach dating with a career-like mindset, says Dobranksy. &amp;quot;In his mind, he has a job to do on the first date \u2014 to impress you. If he does that well, he&amp;#039;ll achieve his ultimate goal, which is getting to the next date, and the next date, and so-on,&amp;quot; Dobranksy says. So, mid-date, he&amp;#039;ll gauge his progress with you in terms of whether he thinks you&amp;#039;ll be up for another outing. And if he&amp;#039;s unsure, it&amp;#039;ll stress him out, since his failure will be a blow to his ego. What You Can Do: If you&amp;#039;re not feeling the guy, it&amp;#039;s not your problem to make him feel better about it. But if you are interested, drop hints into your conversation that suggest you&amp;#039;re thinking about another hangout...sooner rather than later. &amp;quot;Mention that new restaurant you want to try and you think he&amp;#039;d love, or tell him there&amp;#039;s a movie out that you think you two should see together sometime,&amp;quot; says Nakamoto. That way you&amp;#039;re dropping the hint that you&amp;#039;re already thinking in terms of date #2, but you&amp;#039;ll still leave the ball in his court to do the asking. &amp;quot;If you do this the first half of the date, the rest of your time together will be a lot better,&amp;quot; Nakamoto says. &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;ll be able to relax, and you&amp;#039;ll nix some of that first-date awkwardness almost instantly.&amp;quot; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a3812/first-date-fears-for-guys/?click=fb2_rel>