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"Should this bride bail on her kid brother&amp;#x27;s wedding? Writes Save the Date reader Mimi: My boyfriend proposed in June and we started planning our wedding and honeymoon right away. We sent save the dates for our May wedding (less than 11 months after the proposal!) that September. We&amp;#x27;re mostly paying for the wedding ourselves, but my parents wanted to contribute, so they stretched their budget a little to help us out. In December my younger brother proposed to his girlfriend. She&amp;amp;#8212;for no clear reason&amp;amp;#8212;HAS to have a short engagement, so they set their wedding date less than three weeks after my wedding. She&amp;#x27;s also insisting on having a destination wedding at an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean, which will cost each couple $3,000 to attend. My fiance and I are already stretched financially, and we just don&amp;#x27;t have an extra $3,000 to spend so close to our wedding. Their wedding will also be a huge financial burden on my parents. As in, they&amp;#x27;re probably going to have to sell a car (and more) to attend my brother&amp;#x27;s wedding. My future sister-in-law picked their wedding date based on her arbitrary &amp;quot;short engagement&amp;quot; deadline and the availability of a photographer that she just HAD to have. It&amp;#x27;s her wedding, so that&amp;#x27;s her prerogative, but I&amp;#x27;d really like to be able to attend my younger brother&amp;#x27;s wedding&amp;amp;#8212;obviously! But the way things are shaping up financially, I&amp;#x27;m not going to be able to pull it off. My parents have offered to pay for my plane ticket, but I absolutely can&amp;#x27;t take more money from them or stretch them any further financially than they&amp;#x27;ve already been stretched. Do I have the right to be upset that my future sister-in-law isn&amp;#x27;t taking our family into consideration at ALL while planning her wedding? She&amp;#x27;s making an awful impression on our family, and it&amp;#x27;s going to be hard for all of us to overcome. Is there anything I can do? Here are my thoughts: Okay, first of all, no bride can tell her guests that they HAVE to take a weeklong vacation. You get a day, ladies. ONE day! I think it&amp;#x27;s important for you&amp;amp;#8212;and of course your parents&amp;amp;#8212;to attend your brother&amp;#x27;s wedding, but I don&amp;#x27;t think anyone should go broke over a vacation that none of you can afford. I think you should consider attending the wedding based on your financial parameters, not her demands. Of course you&amp;#x27;ll want your new husband there, but if he doesn&amp;#x27;t go, it&amp;#x27;s not the end of the world. And sure, it would be easier to sign up for the wedding as your sister-in-law designed it (one week at an all-inclusive) but I bet you could plan a less-expensive trip that would be more financially reasonable for you and your parents. You could take a three-night trip instead of a seven-night one, and look into nearby resorts with less-expensive rooms. I think you should take a day to research options then review them with your parents to see if any are more comfortable for their budget. (It sounds like if you could save them even $1,000, that would be a huge deal.) Before you book anything, I&amp;#x27;d approach your brother and his bride and say, &amp;quot;Obviously we all want to attend your wedding, but we can&amp;#x27;t go broke to be there. The wedding, as you&amp;#x27;ve planned it, isn&amp;#x27;t financially feasible for any of us. Here&amp;#x27;s what we&amp;#x27;re planning on doing.&amp;quot; From there, it&amp;#x27;s up to then if they want to bump up their date or reconsider what they&amp;#x27;re asking of their guests. Unfortunately, if they&amp;#x27;ve already put a deposit on their intended resort, it may be too late to change any of it. Speaking of deposits, if there&amp;#x27;s anyway you can shift your own wedding budget so you won&amp;#x27;t need quite as much money from your parents, I&amp;#x27;m sure they&amp;#x27;d hugely appreciate it. (Even though, yes, it feels hugely unfair of your brother and his bride to jack up your plans while you&amp;#x27;re six months into the planning process!) Ladies, what would you do in Mimi&amp;#x27;s shoes? Should she blow off her brother&amp;#x27;s wedding in protest? Or blow her budget to attend? Have a wedding-y dilemma of your own? E-mail me! More reader&amp;amp;#8217;s dilemmas, solved! * If You Were in a Friend&amp;amp;#8217;s Wedding Party, Do You Have to Ask Her to Be in Yours? * What if Your In-Laws Refused to Acknowledge Your Engagement? * Can You Be Happily Married&amp;amp;#8212;But Still in Love With Your Ex? Photo: Thinkstock "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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