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"About dudes: They are strange and mysterious creatures. They think nothing of adjusting their crotches in public. They vanish into thin air after three awesome dates. They shop for apartments with their girlfriends before actually being ready to live together (surprise!). Figuring out a dude can be tougher than finding the right bra size. That&amp;amp;#8217;s because dudes can be cold and unfeeling one minute, as sensitive as a teething infant the next. To truly understand the dude mentality, you need an insider who can speak the dude&amp;amp;#8217;s language. Enter me, the Dude Whisperer. I&amp;amp;#8217;ve been a dude for more than two decades. I get dudes. I&amp;amp;#8217;ve lived among them. I&amp;amp;#8217;ve changed in locker rooms and visited strip clubs. I&amp;amp;#8217;ve even managed a fantasy baseball team. Having trouble with your dude? Ask me anything. The Dude Whisperer is in. Why can&amp;amp;#8217;t dudes just listen to what I&amp;amp;#8217;m saying instead of trying to problem solve? &amp;amp;#8212;Stefanie, 32, New York City This behavior speaks to the very essence of what it means to be a dude. Dudes feel it imperative to be men of action. Problem solving is right up there with beer and televised sports among the Great Dude Life Pursuits. Think of it this way: Women give birth to babies; solving problems and hanging pictures is pretty much all dudes have to offer. If your dude insists on snapping into action as soon as you begin telling him about your day, all you need to do is bring it to his attention. A well-placed &amp;amp;#8220;Honey, I&amp;amp;#8217;m just stressed out and want to vent&amp;amp;#8221; goes a long way. If he fights you on it, you&amp;amp;#8217;re probably dating a maniac. Mr. Right will realize all you need from him is a friendly ear. I was dating a guy for a few weeks. It was going great. Then suddenly I never heard from him again. What&amp;amp;#8217;s up with that? &amp;amp;#8212;Brittany, 24, San Diego I can&amp;amp;#8217;t tell you how many times I&amp;amp;#8217;ve discussed Disappearing Dudes with female friends of mine only to find myself more annoyed at the dudes than they are. Ladies, if you don&amp;amp;#8217;t hear from some dude for three weeks or longer and then he suddenly materializes with a sob story regarding how busy he&amp;amp;#8217;s been, do not buy it. Unless you&amp;amp;#8217;re dating a man with a career as important as President Obama&amp;amp;#8217;s, nobody is really that busy. If he likes you, no amount of work/school/travel/etc. will prevent him from at the very least texting or e-mailing you. Trust me on this. My dude is obsessed with The Real Housewives. Is this normal? &amp;amp;#8212;Abby, 36, Austin, Tex. Wait&amp;amp;#8212;we&amp;amp;#8217;re talking about a dude, right? No, I&amp;amp;#8217;m just teasing you. Truth is, dudes have a soft spot for bad reality TV. We love bitchy drama. We love infighting and overly competitive divas. What are sports, after all, but soap operas for dudes? We might not like to admit it, but yeah&amp;amp;#8230;this is normal. Why won&amp;amp;#8217;t the guy I&amp;amp;#8217;m dating talk about his feelings? Can&amp;amp;#8217;t I just ask him what he thinks of me? &amp;amp;#8212;Michelle, 34, Houston Just because a dude isn&amp;amp;#8217;t talking about his feelings doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t mean he isn&amp;amp;#8217;t feeling them. From the dude&amp;amp;#8217;s perspective, the fact that you&amp;amp;#8217;re having fun together is evidence enough of what he&amp;amp;#8217;s thinking&amp;amp;#8212;he assumes it&amp;amp;#8217;s obvious that he likes you. But if you really need some confirmation, here&amp;amp;#8217;s how to get it: Approach your dude cautiously; sudden movements may startle him. Jumping directly into &amp;amp;#8220;Why don&amp;amp;#8217;t you ever tell me how you feel?&amp;amp;#8221; will sound like an accusation. He&amp;amp;#8217;ll get defensive, you&amp;amp;#8217;ll feel rejected and your relationship will go from puzzling to terrible. Instead, say something simple like, &amp;amp;#8220;I&amp;amp;#8217;m having such a good time with you.&amp;amp;#8221; If you open the emotional door, even slightly, the dude will probably walk right on through it too. He has to respond to what you just said, right? (And if he doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t, well, that&amp;amp;#8217;s an answer too. Maybe not the one you want to hear, but still&amp;amp;#8230;an answer.) Why do dudes always have to drive? Are they allergic to the passenger seat? &amp;amp;#8212;Kate, 28, Latham, N.Y. Modern dudes have very few opportunities to prove their dude-ness to womenfolk. Once, we could slay a mastodon or colonize a deserted island to impress the ladies. Today, most dudes are so metrosexualized you can barely tell them apart from their girlfriends. Being a &amp;amp;#8220;man&amp;amp;#8221; has been watered down to the point that it basically entails still standing up to pee (and some particularly lazy dudes I know are even moving away from that). So when a dude sees an opportunity to pound his chest and howl at the moon, even if that opportunity takes the form of a mundane activity like driving to the grocery store, it&amp;amp;#8217;s probably best to humor him. Why do dudes like doing it from behind so much? If my boyfriend had his way, we would never try another position. &amp;amp;#8212;Anne, 33, Boston Have you ever been to the zoo? How &amp;amp;#8216;bout the dog run? Ever seen the way animals do it? Come on&amp;amp;#8212;dudes are simple creatures. Their sexual evolution peaked around the time of the last Ice Age. Consider yourself lucky he&amp;amp;#8217;s not doing it from behind while gorging on a gigantic turkey leg. Seriously, though, some dudes just think it feels better. Something about the angle. Other dudes are really into girls&amp;amp;#8217; butts and like being able to gaze upon them. Unless you really, truly hate having sex this way, try it from time to time. Just make sure to mix it up so that you&amp;amp;#8217;re both happy."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2010/11/meet-the-dude-whisperer/2>