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" \nIf you caught the MTV VMAs on Thursday, you might have noticed that ex-couple Rihanna and Chris Brown shared a hug and kiss after she won an award. You may have also heard that Rihanna recently told Oprah that she still loves Chris and that they&amp;#039;re &amp;quot;very very close friends.&amp;quot; And no doubt, you&amp;#039;re fully aware that three years ago, Chris beat the living daylights out of Rihanna. The question we&amp;#039;ve been asking around the Cosmo office is &amp;quot;Why?&amp;quot; Why would a woman who had been hurt so badly by someone be friends with him again and even go so far as to say she loves him? &amp;quot;You go back to what you know,&amp;quot; says relationship therapist Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of Emotional Fitness for Intimacy. Like Chris, he says that someone who was violent will always be apologetic and beg for forgiveness. He&amp;#039;ll point out that he&amp;#039;s done anger management classes, reformed his ways, and will never do it again\u2014but it&amp;#039;s a big risk to take a guy back who has been violent toward you in the past.  Relationship therapist Bethany Marshall, PhD, author of Deal Breakers, points out that people can change, but if a guy has a history of violence, he&amp;#039;s likely to lash out again in the future. Case in point: Chris had a meltdown after appearing on Good Morning America last year and threw a chair out of a window. He&amp;#039;s also ranted on Twitter several times about people he dislikes and just recently said &amp;quot;f--- off&amp;quot; to &amp;quot;haters,&amp;quot; while bragging about the fact that he won a Grammy. To us, that sounds like someone who just doesn&amp;#039;t get it. Not only that, having a relationship with a guy who has abused you in the past subconsciously tells him that he can get away with anything, says Marshall. Sure, at first he&amp;#039;ll be on his best behavior, but eventually he&amp;#039;s likely to regress into his old bad habits. If a guy has hurt you in the past, Goldsmith recommends you move on, cut off contact from him, and get counseling. &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;ve been traumatized, and you don&amp;#039;t know how that trauma will surface later in your life,&amp;quot; says Goldsmith. &amp;quot;It can really mess with your head.&amp;quot; Of course, it is possible that Chris has finally learned his lesson and we certainly hope that he&amp;#039;s changed. Regardless, our advice to Rihanna: It&amp;#039;s fine to wish Chris well, but it would be best for both of you to move on from each other for good. If you or someone you know has been the victim of violence, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for more information on how to get help. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a3913/chris-brown-rihanna-kiss/?link=emb&dom=yah_life&src=syn&con=blog_cosmo&mag=cos>