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"Readers, you might remember Melissa Blake from her guest post over at Vitamin G. Melissa is a writer who was born with Freeman-Sheldon Syndrome, a rare genetic bone and muscular disorder. She pens the popular blog So About What I Said where she chats about food, music, fashion and lots of other fun topics. The very busy 29-year-old writes the Disabled and Thriving blog for Psychology Today. When I heard this clever gal also dished on dating, I knew we had to talk. In her Online Dating Magazine column, Dating With Disabilities, Melissa shares &amp;amp;#8220;what it&amp;#x27;s like to have a disabilities while trying to navigate the world or love and relationships.&amp;amp;#8221; Her writing is honest, witty and quite sweet. I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with Melissa about all things romance and I think you&amp;amp;#8217;ll agree she&amp;amp;#8217;s pretty great: What are some common misconceptions people have about dating a person with disabilities? Society&amp;#x27;s perception of people - especially women - has come a long way in the last few decades, but there are still so many misconceptions. Women with disabilities, especially, are seen as not having the same desires as abled-bodied women. Sometimes I&amp;#x27;ll talk about my desire to meet a nice guy and get married and all that other romantic stuff and people just look at me with a look of surprise. They just assume I don&amp;#x27;t need or want that stuff in my life. In the teen years especially, I wrestled with trying to get guys to see past my disability, usually with little success. I remember writing in my journal that &amp;quot;guys just don&amp;#x27;t like girls in wheelchairs&amp;quot; and actually convincing myself that was true. It took me some time to grow and learn to accept myself What are some challenges you&amp;amp;#8217;ve personally faced when it comes to dating and relationships? Definitely getting guys to see past my disability. I&amp;#x27;m in a wheelchair, so I&amp;#x27;m not sure if that intimidates them; they see me as a friend, sure, but nothing more. Confession: I&amp;#x27;ve actually never been on a date. I used to be ashamed of this: Me, a 29-year-old who has yet to go on her first date or experience her first kiss, but I figure it&amp;#x27;s going to make a great story when it finally happens. :) Do your friends family ever try to set you up? Or, what&amp;#x27;s the wackiest bit of romance advice you&amp;#x27;ve received from a loved one (solicited or otherwise)? A few friends have suggested that I try online dating, but that prospect scares me. I suppose I&amp;#x27;m still a bit old-school and a bit weary of the whole online-dating thing. And a few people, mostly blog readers, have suggested that I stick to dating only people with disabilities, as that would just be easier. I&amp;#x27;ve never been able to wrap my head around that one... So then, is there anything about dating or relationships that you&amp;#x27;re especially nervous or anxious about? I wonder what a guy will think when he finds out that he&amp;#x27;s the first guy I&amp;#x27;ve ever gone out with. I&amp;#x27;m pretty awkward sometimes, so I&amp;#x27;m picturing myself saying something in the middle of the date like, &amp;quot;So this is my first time...&amp;quot; He&amp;#x27;d probably assume I was talking about the restaurant and say, &amp;quot;Oh, isn&amp;#x27;t the food great?&amp;quot; and then I&amp;#x27;d have to spell it out that this this was my first date. Ever. I also worry that my disability will scare guys away or make things awkward, which it shouldn&amp;#x27;t. Really, though, I have the same anxieties as other women, and I&amp;#x27;m just trying to figure it all out. What&amp;amp;#8217;s your idea of the perfect first date? I&amp;#x27;m all for something simple - maybe a dinner in a quiet restaurant. I&amp;#x27;m a big talker, so I want to have the opportunity to really get to know the other person. Got any first date deal breakers? Maybe he shows up late? Or takes you to bad restaurant and makes you pay? How funny you should ask this because I just did a post about it on my blog! I&amp;#x27;m not particularly old-fashioned, but there are just some things a guy should do during the date, and one of those is at least offer to pay for dinner. Also, if a guy is texting during the date, I will be making a mental note. The same goes for if he is rude to the waiter. You can tell a lot about a person&amp;#x27;s character by how he treats other people. Have you ever confessed to a guy friend or a crush that you had feelings for him? If so, how&amp;#x27;d it turn out? I&amp;#x27;ve had a crush on the son of a family friend since I was 13. We were the same age, but I was always too shy to tell him how I felt. It never failed that I turned into a blubbering, awkward mess any time I was around him. Then a few years ago, I wrote about him on my blog, and although I didn&amp;#x27;t use his name, he discovered I was writing about him. The 13-year-old in me was squealing with glee, but the woman in my was somewhat terrified. He suggested that we hang out to see where things went, but I freezed up and chickened out. It didn&amp;#x27;t help that we also got into a bit of a debate over the whole issue of looks vs. personality when it comes to dating. And honestly, I may have been a bit too hard on him, something I still feel bad about. It was almost as if I was letting my own insecurities stop me from trying something new. I was so afraid, so certain, that there was no way he could ever see past my disability that I wouldn&amp;#x27;t even allow myself to take that chance. Why risk being hurt, I reasoned? I was actually thinking about the whole debacle recently, and realized that he might have been right about something. He once told me that I shouldn&amp;#x27;t try to back my way out of what I was trying to do after I built up the courage to do it. Maybe it all stemmed from those feelings of self-doubt when it came to my disability that I&amp;#x27;d be carrying with me for all those years. Maybe my fear did stop me from seeing where things would go with him. After all, I had created this fantasy in my head for the last 13 years, and the moment I had a chance to see if that fantasy could turn into something even resembling reality, I recoiled. So, Stephen, if you&amp;#x27;re reading this, I really am sorry for the way things turned out. I figure if nothing else, this story could make for an interesting Julia Roberts rom-com one day! :) Thank you Melissa! Do you have a disability? If so, have you faced any challenges when it comes to dating? Melissa will be popping up in the comments today so if you&amp;amp;#8217;ve got questions for her, feel free to ask away! More dating dish... * If You Could Burn Three of Your Guy&amp;#x27;s Possessions and He&amp;#x27;d Never Find Out, What Would You Toss Into the Fire? * Are You There, Single Men of NYC? I&amp;#x27;m Hitting the Beach! * Field Research: Fitness Instructors Give Us the Skinny About First Impressions and First Dates More Ways to Get Glamour: NEW! Now You Can Read Glamour on Flipboard! Visit ShopGlamour.com for cute stuff starting at just $10! Download Glamour Magazine for your iPad--print subscribers, it&amp;amp;#8217;s now part of your subscription plan! Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! Follow us on Twitter. Photo: Courtesy of Melissa Blake"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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