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" I tend to go out with guys for short periods of time because they usually end up dumping me for another, prettier girl. Needless to say, I have lost all confidence in myself, and the only time I think I look good is when a guy tells me I do. Can you help me?  Reddy, 24, Augusta, ME I want you to stop dating for a little while. (And not just dating--take a break from guys in general: flirting, hooking up, all of it.) I know that this might sound drastic to you, but hear me out.   You have been going from guy to guy, trying to figure out how to make them keep you as a girlfriend. Every time that it doesn&amp;#039;t work out, it chips away at your self-esteem. That&amp;#039;s because while you&amp;#039;re with these guys, you&amp;#039;re not thinking about what&amp;#039;s really best for you--you&amp;#039;ve lost sight of that.   And that&amp;#039;s what your guy hiatus will give you: some quiet alone time to get to know--and love--yourself. And once you have a handle on that, you can gradually start to figure out the type of guy who will complement who you are --as opposed to someone who will just fill your holes. You need to fill your own holes.   I&amp;#039;ll give you my example: In junior high and part of high school, I was considered pretty dorky, and that was something I felt insecure about. So when I went to college, without even realizing it, I was constantly dating (and trying to date) the really popular guys. It&amp;#039;s almost like I thought they could fill that hole inside me that was left from when I was younger. But the relationships never worked because I wasn&amp;#039;t with the guys for the right reasons.   Plus, I put more value on what they brought to the relationship than what I did. I needed them too much. I had to come to terms with my past on my own before I could be in a healthy relationship.   I hope that makes sense to you, and you can use this example to try to understand what you might need to work on during your dating hiatus. Write in your journal, see movies, read magazines--reconnect with what you want out of life, so that when you do start dating again, you&amp;#039;ll be choosing people who make you happy and aren&amp;#039;t just filling a void. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/q-and-a/a70/break-up-ds-0805/>