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" Oh my god, you guys. Brandon changed his Facebook status.  When I got into work yesterday, I had a friend request from Derrick. It came with a message that said &amp;quot;Here&amp;#039;s to joining the 21st century! Next up -- bye, bye Walkman!&amp;quot; I laughed and accepted his request, and then got to work. About an hour later, I had a notification that he&amp;#039;d written on my wall. I went to my profile to read what he&amp;#039;d said, and the first thing I noticed was that my relationship status no longer linked to Brandon&amp;#039;s profile. It just said, &amp;quot;In a Relationship.&amp;quot; I clicked over to his and it said, &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s Complicated.&amp;quot;  Um, did I just get dumped on Facebook? What the hell? Wouldn&amp;#039;t you, oh, I don&amp;#039;t know, TALK to the person who you were supposedly in a relationship with if you decided you could no longer refer to yourself as &amp;quot;In a Relationship?&amp;quot; I didn&amp;#039;t know whether to be devastated or furious.  As the day wore on, I obsessively checked his profile for comments. By the time I left work, here&amp;#039;s what was posted:  Starr: What?!?! CALL ME!  Lolo: Passive-aggressive much?  Amber: WTF?  When I got home, Sarah was over at Jane&amp;#039;s. I immediately fired up the computer and checked again. No new comments. I&amp;#039;m surprised Matt didn&amp;#039;t give it a &amp;quot;Like.&amp;quot;  While I was checking Starr&amp;#039;s, Lolo&amp;#039;s and Amber&amp;#039;s profiles to see if he&amp;#039;d commented back (because I have apparently become a crazy stalker) a chat window popped up on Facebook. Derrick.  Derrick: How&amp;#039;s my favorite TV host?  Me: I had you pegged as more of an Oprah man.  Derrick: Actually, I&amp;#039;m quite smitten with the ladies of The View. How&amp;#039;s it going?  Me: Awesome. I got dumped on Facebook today, and now I&amp;#039;m following comment trails about it.  Derrick: Aw, baby, I&amp;#039;m sorry. What happened?  Me: Long, stupid story. Tell me a joke instead.  Derrick: I have a better idea. Why don&amp;#039;t you let Uncle Derrick buy you a drink tonight and cheer you up?  Me: Nah, I don&amp;#039;t feel like going out. Or getting cheered up. How about this weekend?  Derrick: I&amp;#039;m free Friday.  Me: Friday it is. We can discuss later this week. I&amp;#039;m signing off so I can quit making myself crazy.  Derrick: Good idea. Good night, K.  Me: Good night. And don&amp;#039;t ever refer to yourself as &amp;quot;Uncle Derrick&amp;quot; again. It&amp;#039;s creepy, especially given our history.  Derrick: LOL!  Lolo called me after I shut down my computer.  &amp;quot;Are you okay?&amp;quot; she asked.  &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t know. I&amp;#039;m not actually sure if I&amp;#039;m still in a relationship or not, and I found out via Facebook. Do you know if I am?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;No,&amp;quot; she admitted. &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t think Brandon knows, either. And for what it&amp;#039;s worth, I thought it was really lame for him to do that. Are you doing anything tonight? Do you want some company?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;No thanks,&amp;quot; I said. &amp;quot;I think I just want to take tonight to sit around and mope. Is that lame?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;No, it&amp;#039;s necessary. Let&amp;#039;s catch up this weekend. And K.? I&amp;#039;m still working on convincing B he&amp;#039;s being completely stupid. For both of your sakes.&amp;quot;  I thanked her and got off the phone, put on my pajamas, popped a Tylenol PM in my mouth and turned on CSPAN until it put me to sleep. After 12 hours of shut-eye, I feel like I could still use about 12 more. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8107/bedroom-blog-060209/>