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"Hi, all! One of our readers has fallen for the guy she was having casual sex with this summer. Now she&amp;amp;#8217;d like for their hookup to grow into a relationship. Let&amp;amp;#8217;s discuss. Can you turn a hookup into something more? She writes: &amp;quot;What happens when you agree to what was intended to be a casual hookup and nothing serious...and you end up falling for him? What does date night then become? How do you make a casual hookup into something better?&amp;quot; This is tricky (and I&amp;amp;#8217;ll explain why), but turning a hookup into a relationship is possible. I mean how often do we make plans that don&amp;amp;#8217;t turn out how we imagined? For example, I thought I would be a lawyer, but I hate arguing and feel bad when someone else loses&amp;amp;mdash;a whole other issue. My point is that life doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t always pan out the way we intended, and that&amp;amp;#8217;s OK! So, you went into it thinking you&amp;amp;#8217;d be fine with &amp;quot;just sex&amp;quot; and now you feel a different way? That&amp;amp;#8217;s totally human. What makes this a sticky situation is that he may not feel the same&amp;amp;mdash;because of this, you likely fear his rejection. This is also totally normal and nothing to feel weird about. Now, how to go about this conversation without feeling as exposed and vulnerable as when you dream you show up to work without pants? Here are a few tips: Be true to yourself. Forget about him for a second and make sure you know what your needs are (and what it takes to meet them). Say, for instance, that you know that continuing to hook up with your guy without a commitment will make you anxious. You don&amp;#x27;t deserve to feel anxious, right? If this guy can&amp;amp;#8217;t give you a relationship that makes you feel happy and secure, then you&amp;amp;#8217;re better off not continuing things. Right? Talk it out. Up until this point, it was clear that your relationship was just about casual sex. Now you need to make it clear that your feelings have shifted. The best way? Just telling him as it is&amp;amp;#8212;that you went into this totally attracted to him and you didn&amp;amp;#8217;t have any expectations. But for the past [amount of time here] you&amp;amp;#8217;ve started to feel more strongly for him and want to know where he stands. Assure him that this may be unexpected for him to hear, so you&amp;amp;#8217;ll let him digest it. Don&amp;amp;#8217;t pressure him. Make plans for a follow-up. After you&amp;amp;#8217;ve let him know how you feel, suggest another time to meet up and chat (ideally, he&amp;#x27;ll have feelings too and this will be your &amp;quot;first date.&amp;quot; Worst case, you can meet casually and have a discussion about moving on and respecting each other&amp;#x27;s decision&amp;amp;mdash;not the end of the world). Sometimes the reason it&amp;#x27;s tricky to turn a hookup into a relationship is simply because a foundation of &amp;quot;dating&amp;quot; hasn&amp;amp;#8217;t been set. So, planning a date that doesn&amp;#x27;t take place at either of your apartments and where you can show a side of you he hasn&amp;amp;#8217;t seen before is a good start. Especially if there&amp;amp;#8217;s a hobby you both enjoy. Let the rest happen naturally. Now that you&amp;amp;#8217;ve laid it all out there, take the pressure off yourself. The next move is his, so just accept what comes. If he doesn&amp;#x27;t want to move things forward, or doesn&amp;#x27;t make any plans, you&amp;#x27;ve just dodged a bullet and saved yourself more hurt feelings in the future. If he does, then all the better. Any other suggestions for how to make this transition less terrifying? Have you ever tried to turn a hookup into a relationship (and were you successful)?"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2014/07/how-to-turn-casual-hookup-into-relationship>