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" Leaving home at not-quite-18 was a hard transition. The opposite of a wild child, I was excited by my freedom but also homesick. Used to having two older sisters boss me around, I spent the next 10 years running through a series of domineering best friends. These women would take over my life\u2014they didn&amp;#039;t just drive me around, they wrote my term papers, picked out my outfits, directed my love life, and, later, found me jobs. One bossy-pants even used to order off the menu for me when we dined out. In her defense, I was also Eating Disorder Central. What did my bullyish BFFs get in return? I&amp;#039;d provide constant companionship, and make them feel needed by being so helpless (and clueless) about life.  Inevitably, the friendship would chafe. I&amp;#039;d hang out with other people while my BFF would grow resentful. We&amp;#039;d break up\u2014and I&amp;#039;d replace her with a new model. I was close to 30 when I realized that it was possible to have close female friends without a weird power dynamic. Around that time, I had some career success. My overbearing bestie at the time told me, with clear distress, that she hadn&amp;#039;t seen it coming. Apparently, she couldn&amp;#039;t bear to watch me get attention. By then I had gained more confidence about my own ability to deal with adult life, and as I matured, I wanted friends to share stories, ideas, and jokes with. I sought out females with whom I had a similar attitude in life\u2014whether it came down to shared taste in books or medical grotesqueries\u2014and that became the glue in our relationships, rather than a need to be controlling. Today, I have a half-dozen women who bring laughter, understanding, and companionship to my life\u2014but who don&amp;#039;t manipulate it. As we&amp;#039;ve gotten older, life has gotten even more complicated; time, scarcer. Many have big careers. But we&amp;#039;re there for each other when we need to be, and in ways that count: weddings, births, deaths, job losses, promotions. But even if we go a few weeks without connecting, I know that the bond is secure. Because I&amp;#039;ve finally discovered what it means to be, and have, a real girlfriend. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.marieclaire.com/culture/a4346/lucinda-rosenfield-friendship-essay/>