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"FacebookPinterest\n\nTime once more for Make It Stop, in which we count down the three things this week that must stop.\n\n1. Lohan. Lindsay Lohan was on Letterman this week, and the resulting interview was every bit as awkward and horrible as you would imagine. There's Dave asking Lindsay about rehab, while Lindsay sits there dumbfounded, shocked that anyone would ask her about rehab when her whole fucking LIFE is a failed rehab project. There was no reason to have Lohan on that show this week. She was there to promote a cameo in \"Scary Movie 5\"\u2014a movie that clearly exists solely to make old, dumb, easy jokes about what a trainwreck Linday Lohan is. She's barely in it. The movie itself is barely a movie.\n\nWhatever spark of talent Lohan had back in the \"Mean Girls\" era has long since been extinguished. She's a delusional drug addict and her face is now more cut-up than a pulled pork sandwich. The freakshow novelty of her career died out a long time ago. So for both \"Scary Movie\" producers and Letterman to drag her out in public for the umpteenth time, to allow her to continue to believe that she still has cultural relevance, and to subject us to more awkward, deliberately vapid conversations with her is close to being acriminal act. No more. There's nothing there. Move along.\n\n2. SWUGS. Oh, dear God no. It's another imaginary cultural trend spawned by insufferable people. Did you know there are girls at college who are, like, SO OVER college? Those are SWUGS, baby.\n\n...to be a SWUG is to embrace \"the slow, wine-filled decline of female sexual empowerment as we live out our college glory days. Welcome to the world of the ladies who have given up on boys because they don't so much empower as frustrate, satisfy as agitate.\"\n\nSHOCKING NEWS: Turns out men can be annoying! I for one am shocked that senior women at college find themselves disillusioned with the whole scene. THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED, EVER.\n\n3. The National Spelling Bee adding definitions to the competition. What happened to you, Bee? You used to be about the SPELLING, man. Now you're adding definitions to the competition six weeks before it happens in order to accommodate ESPN? YOU SOLD OUT, BROTHER. There are hundreds of awkward young immigrant children out there right now, working 23-hour days memorizing definitions on flash cards because of you. Some of them may drop dead by the time they get to DC. I hope you're happy with yourself.\n\n4. The idea that Diddy and Kate Upton are dating. I know that Upton denied it on her Twitter feed. But still, I don't even like the IDEA of it. This is not 2000. I demand my supermodels be romantically linked with far more current musicians, like Kendrick Lamar, or A$AP Rocky. Diddy had his moment in the sun shooting at people in clubs with J-Lo at his side. He cannot have Kate Upton, not even in his imagination. I forbid it.\n\n5. The eradication of spring. Whoa hey, what the fuck happened to seventy degrees? Is that just never happening again? All I get is forty or ninety? This is awful. [wipes sweat off of inner thighs]\n\nDrew Magary is a GQ correspondent and a staff writer for Deadspin. Follow him on Twitter via @drewmagary and pre-order his new book about fatherhood, Someone Could Get Hurt, at his website"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.gq.com/story/make-it-stop-the-worst-of-the-week-of-041213>