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"Dan's Papers' Top 10 Hamptons Hoaxes\nFrom faux Sarah Palin sightings to bullshit shark attacks, the founding editor of Dan's Papers breaks down his favorite \"gotcha\" moments.\nFrom faux Sarah Palin sightings to bullshit shark attacks, the founding editor of Dan's Papers breaks down his favorite \"gotcha\" moments.\nLoch Ness in the Hamptons (1972)\n\n\"I'd been here about 10 years when I was in the woods with a friend, walking down an abandoned railroad bed. I came upon one of the most magnificent ponds I'd ever seen between Bridgehampton and Sag Harbor. I thought: there ought to be a monster in that pond. So I wrote this whole story about the monster and tied it together with some of the local history. I said that during World War II, a unit of the army was camped on the side of the pond in the middle of the night. The monster came up out of the pond and they opened this great fusillade of machine gun fire on it. Then I wrote that there was a group of students from St. John's University in New York, out camping by the pond, waiting for the monster to appear. The next thing I know, after the paper came out, I got a call from one of the news anchors\u2014Jim Jensen, who was the anchor for WCBS\u2014screaming at me on the phone. They had sent a helicopter to come out to the pond and interview these students who were waiting. And of course, there weren't any kids.\"\nMan Gets $20,000 Parking Ticket (1975)\n\n\"Every day it doubled. He doesn't care. He just wants to swim without having to buy a beach sticker.\"\nRaw Meat Drive for Killer Shark (1975)\n\n\"In 1975, Jaws premiered in the East Hampton theater. I was very frustrated at the time. The book had been written about East Hampton, the movie was supposed to be set in the Hamptons, but at the last minute they filmed it instead on Martha's Vineyard. We got no visitors, we got no credit. At that time, the Hamptons were actually looking for publicity\u2014we were a pretty backwater place. Somehow, in my mind, it just sparked something, this article that even amazed myself when I wound up having written it. It was a letter to the paper from the chief of police of the Hamptons. The letter said that he wanted to assure us that it was going to be safe to go in the ocean and in the bay in the summer, if you chose the right time to do it. There was a killer shark, maybe two or three sharks, but at least one that they knew of. They were feeding him raw meat by helicopter in the ocean on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and in the bay Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. On Sunday, the shark sleeps. It was also phrased as a patriotic drive and mentioned that there were several policeman that had lost their lives, pulled out of helicopters by the shark.\n\nThat paper came out the afternoon of the premiere of the movie, in stacks all through town.\" [The hoax gathered such steam that the paper received calls about the shark attacks from the Wall Street Journal, Sports Illustrated, and the Christian Science Monitor.]\nThe East End is Sinking Due to Influx of Tourists (1984)\n\n\"It's a heavy weight to bear. The springs beneath it cannot hold up the weight for the whole weekend anymore. They were made in an old mattress factory in the village of Springs, but it burned down.\"\nFlight to Portugal (1990)\n\n\"In 1990, we were coming up on the Columbus Day issue. The winters were pretty desolate and dreary and nothing much happened out here. I had an editorial board meeting with the staff and I said, I want to do a piece for Columbus Day weekend which tells readers of all wonderful things happening in wintertime. So we had our meeting again the next week. And I said, what do we got? And the answer was, there was nothing, nothing going on. I said, alright, you know what? I'm going to make it all up. I did an article that did come out on Columbus Day, saying there's big festivals and events all weekends all winter long. One of them, buried in the middle was called Flight to Portugal. [In the fictitious event, young men drove cars off a cliff into the ocean, to see who could get closest to Portugal, \"which is, after all, just over the horizon.\"] I went to California for a month and I came back just before Christmas. The office manager was very excited. She said, we have been getting loads of phone calls about Flight to Portugal. They want to know if it's still scheduled for March 12. Three days later I get a letter in the mail, the envelope had raised lettering on it, in color. It was from the director of Portuguese National Tourist Center on 5th Avenue in Manhattan. He writes to me: we are offering a prize to the winner of this contest, a two week vacation in Portugal, all expenses paid, including air fare, hotel, and spending money. And I said, we actually have to hold this event!\"\nInstallment of \"Die Hard\" Franchise to be Featured at Hamptons (1997)\n\nThe title pretty much says it all...\nEcuadorian Eel is Eating Hamptonites (1999)\n\n\"A series of horrific and terrifying adventures to liven up a cold winter.\"\nLetting Lions Loose on the Islands (2000)\n\n\"The lions were imported by a Dutchman with a summer mansion in North Haven to 'take care' of the overpopulation of deer on that peninsula. The whole population of that place was warned to stay indoors while that was done. Many people did believe this tale at the time it was published.\"\nThe Hampton Subway (2008)\n\n\"The Hampton Subway does not exist, but if it did, (and it should) what we publish would be its newsletter. I have been writing this for more than two years every week. All sorts of things go wrong, including the commissioner who writes a weekly 'message' in the newsletter getting onto death row\u2014and then only reprieved so he could come back to be the commissioner again because there is nobody else. This is ongoing.\"\nSarah Palin Moves To Hampton Bays (2009)\n\n\"It just seemed so natural she would do this after announcing her departure from Alaska. A balance of fishing, pickups, and residential communities on every side overflowing with conservative money. In an interview on Fox News she denied that this was where she would be moving.\""^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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