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" Imagine yourself facing a bowl of candy at the office. When it comes to resisting, are you better off abstaining or telling yourself you&amp;#039;ll enjoy just a small amount? The standard advice is to be moderate and have the occasional treat \u2014 it will help you stick to your plan, because you won&amp;#039;t feel deprived and end up bingeing later. For a long time, I believed that. So I kept trying to be moderate \u2014 and failing. Then I read a line by the writer Samuel Johnson, who, when offered a glass of wine, famously said, &amp;quot;Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.&amp;quot; Aha! I thought. That&amp;#039;s me. Like Johnson, I&amp;#039;m an abstainer. Case in point: As much as I tried to resist, there was a time when I&amp;#039;d eat my favorite frozen yogurt treat two or three times a day. When I finally admitted this to myself, I gave it up cold turkey. Whenever I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself with endless debate: Should I have dessert today or tomorrow? But if I tell myself that I can never do something, I simply don&amp;#039;t think about it. It&amp;#039;s different with moderators, who feel frustrated when something is totally off-limits. They do better when they indulge occasionally or only a bit. Both moderators and abstainers try hard to convert the other team. A nutritionist once told me, &amp;quot;I tell my clients to follow the &amp;#039;80/20&amp;#039; rule \u2014 be healthy 80% of the time and indulge reasonably 20% of the time.&amp;quot; She wouldn&amp;#039;t consider my point of view \u2014 that for someone like me, a &amp;quot;100&amp;quot; rule might be easier to follow. As an abstainer, I often hear disapproving comments like &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s not healthy to be so strict.&amp;quot; A moderator friend told me, &amp;quot;Life&amp;#039;s too short not to eat a brownie!&amp;quot; I also hear fellow abstainers saying to moderators, &amp;quot;Why do you even keep that stuff in the house?&amp;quot; But with the exception of actual addictions to things like alcohol and cigarettes, to which abstaining is generally the only healthy solution, different approaches work for different people. It&amp;#039;s all about knowing which strategy is best for your personality. For me, life&amp;#039;s too short to let the question of whether or not to have a brownie weigh on my mind. I&amp;#039;d rather skip the brownie and the debate \u2014 as well as the remorse. In fact, I think if more people tried abstaining, they&amp;#039;d be surprised to find it&amp;#039;s not as hard as they think. Take my sister: She was a model moderator. Her weakness was french fries, and she once told me she could never give them up. Instead, she limited herself by sharing with her husband rather than consuming an entire order. Except recently, she told me, &amp;quot;You know what? I&amp;#039;m actually an abstainer. I&amp;#039;ve realized it&amp;#039;s easier for me to give something up completely.&amp;quot; Since then, I&amp;#039;ve talked many people into giving abstaining a try, and many have stuck to the strategy in various ways. I especially like the way my sister framed it: &amp;quot;I hate to deny myself things,&amp;quot; she told me. &amp;quot;I have to make this decision into a positive. So instead of thinking about it negatively \u2014 I can&amp;#039;t ever have french fries again \u2014 I tell myself, Now I&amp;#039;m free from french fries.&amp;quot; Free from french fries! That&amp;#039;s exactly how abstaining feels to me. I&amp;#039;m free from decision-making, free of guilt and anxiety. That bread basket doesn&amp;#039;t tempt me anymore. Which one are you? You&amp;#039;re an abstainer if:  You have trouble stopping yourself from doing something (eating, drinking, etc.) once you&amp;#039;ve gotten started You aren&amp;#039;t tempted by things once you&amp;#039;ve decided they&amp;#039;re totally off-limits  You&amp;#039;re a moderator if:  Indulging in something only occasionally satisifes your cravings and strenghtens your resolve You get panicky at the thought of never doing something again  "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/wellness/advice/a18251/abstain-versus-moderate/?src=rss>