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"Life is hard. Except when it&amp;amp;#8217;s not. And that&amp;amp;#8217;s where the real trouble can begin. As it did for this young lady, whose boyfriend has some trouble getting his soldier to salute for the main event. Dear Single John, I started dating a great guy a couple of months ago and everything about our relationship has been amazing...except the sex. The first time we tried to have sex, he couldn&amp;#x27;t stay hard. I thought maybe it was just the alcohol, but the same thing has happened every time we try to sleep together. He gets aroused, but when it comes to actually doing the deed, he gets soft. I&amp;#x27;ve tried oral sex and manually stimulating him, but to no avail. He says it&amp;#x27;s just performance anxiety and the more he thinks about it, the worse it gets. Sex is extremely important to me and if he can&amp;#x27;t get in the game, I&amp;#x27;m not sure I can stay with him. -- Not All There This sucks for both of you. And I can relate, sort of. I know I&amp;amp;#8217;m not going to be able to perform at the level I&amp;amp;#8217;d like to after imbibing alcohol, so I just avoid it (sex after partying). If I&amp;amp;#8217;m hopping into bed with a lady friend after a night on the town, I just let her know that sex probably isn&amp;amp;#8217;t in the cards, at least as far as me and my guy are concerned. But if her and her little lady friend are still game, I give it the ol&amp;amp;#8216; college try. I am just sure to preface with a warning&amp;amp;#8212;that way I don&amp;amp;#8217;t feel guilty or like a failure if things don&amp;amp;#8217;t work out on my &amp;amp;#8216;end&amp;amp;#8217;. The problem tends to be when this is a non-alcohol-related issue, like the above. Especially because once it happens to a guy, it&amp;amp;#8217;s very easy for it to keep happening. Here&amp;#x27;s what sex expert, Dr. Hilda Hutcherson had to say on the topic: &amp;amp;#8220;True erectile dysfunction (ED) is unusual among men under 40. But younger men can have occasional trouble after drinking (alcohol reduces inhibitions and can boost desire for sex, but it&amp;#x27;s actually a very common erection killer). If alcohol isn&amp;#x27;t involved, ask yourself: Is your partner depressed or more frazzled than usual? Stress and anxiety can actually decrease blood flow to the penis. The problem is, once a young man has experienced the first episode of erection dysfunction, he may become fearful that it will happen again and start to withdraw emotionally from his partner. He also may have so much anxiety over it that it becomes difficult to get or maintain an erection the next time.&amp;quot; What I suggest is taking the pressure off having intercourse by concentrating on other forms of sexual expression (like massage, kissing, even oral sex). But if your partner&amp;#x27;s trouble continues, he should bring it up with his doctor&amp;amp;#8212;ED can be a symptom of a disease like diabetes, or a side effect of drugs, like certain antidepressants.&amp;amp;#8221; Thanks Doc! Have you ever dealt with a guy who couldn&amp;amp;#8217;t get, or keep, it up? Did the situation remedy itself? How? Have a question about Dating, Relationships, or Sex for Single John? Submit it here. More on Hooking Up at Glamour.com 10 Sex Questions Every Woman Should Ask Herself Sex Tips: Help Your Guy Get More Hands On Ask a Guy: &amp;quot;The Guy I&amp;#x27;m Seeing is Selfish in Bed&amp;amp;#8212;What Can I Do?&amp;quot; What&amp;#x27;s With All the Spam in the Comments Section? Sick of all those annoying ads in the comments section lately? So are we! We police the site regularly and delete spam as soon as we can, but recently, the volume of spam has increased dramatically. We&amp;#x27;re working on a way to block them permanently, so please bear with us, and know that we&amp;#x27;re as eager as you are to get rid of these pests. Meanwhile, please continue to use the Report Abuse button to flag spam--it really does help!--and continue to leave your brilliant feedback below. If you have any urgent questions about the spam, please contact us. And a special note to you, spammers; we officially declare you a major DON&amp;#x27;T. Photo: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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