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" Many of us have heard the same details about the life of Cindy McCain, wife of John McCain, the Republican Party&amp;#039;s presidential nominee: that she grew up in a privileged family; that she met and fell in love with her husband as his first marriage was ending; that she overcame an addiction to painkillers as well as a near-fatal stroke. But we had the opportunity to get a more personal glimpse inside her world when Rosemary Ellis, the editor in chief of Good Housekeeping, recently sat down with her in New York City. In this exclusive interview, Mrs. McCain talks candidly about what makes her marriage tick, why she doesn&amp;#039;t want to be a &amp;quot;superwoman&amp;quot; anymore, the cause that&amp;#039;s closest to her heart \u2014 and the one thing she believes all voters must know about her husband. Rosemary Ellis: So tell me, what qualities of your husband&amp;#039;s first made you fall in love with him? Cindy McCain: Oh gosh, his humor, his intelligence, his wit, his charisma. I mean, when I met him, I had been committed to not dating anymore. I was tired of it, and I, it just....ugh. RE: Tired of dating at 24? CM: I was \u2014 I really was. It had just been, you know, frat boys \u2014 all that kind of stuff and I just was tired of it. I thought, &amp;quot;Well, I&amp;#039;m just going to worry about my career now and just kind of take a break.&amp;quot; That lasted two months: I met him two months later, and it was everything about him. I mean, he&amp;#039;s remarkable! He&amp;#039;s a remarkable man. He had wit, charm, intelligence, and he was so well read. And he was interested in me. He was very interested in hearing what I had to say, and I hadn&amp;#039;t found that in too many other people. RE: After 28 years of marriage, what quality attracts you to your husband now that maybe wasn&amp;#039;t the first thing that attracted you when you first met?  CM: Still his intelligence, his wit, and his humor. The longer we&amp;#039;re married, the better it gets. He&amp;#039;s remarkable at things, and I still love everything about him to this day that I did then. RE: OK, let me ask you this: You have three adjectives to describe your husband and yourself. What would they be? CM: Let&amp;#039;s see...He&amp;#039;s tenacious, he&amp;#039;s humorous, like I said, he&amp;#039;s very lovable also. About myself I think maybe I would say \u2014 sometimes cautious. Very nurturing. And I think also a little bit tenacious myself. RE: Please finish this sentence: The secret to a happy marriage is... CM: Patience and honesty. I really mean that. You have to be patient, you have to be open, and you also have to be available for criticism, too.   RE: Do you feel like you learned that in your marriage, or did you go in understanding that? CM: Oh, no. No [laughs]. I was very young! I was 25. No, I learned this through the years. But you know, when you meet someone and you marry him, you find out a great deal, as you know, after you&amp;#039;re married. We never lived together; we didn&amp;#039;t do that. So I did learn a great deal about my husband but I also learned something about myself: I made a wise choice. I think he&amp;#039;s a good man. RE: Which presidential couple who&amp;#039;ve served in your lifetime do you particularly admire? CM: I think my husband and I would say the same thing: President and Mrs. Reagan. They were so genuinely close and loving with each other. They had this special relationship that was so lovely to watch between the two of them. They had their unspoken language \u2014 they just had it. It was so lovely to watch. RE: If your husband is elected, what&amp;#039;s your biggest hope for his tenure in the presidency? And what&amp;#039;s your biggest fear? CM: My biggest hope is that he can achieve the things that he truly wants to do: Reform government with regards to all the pork barrel spending and all the things that he believes, the corrupt side of government. He really, truly wants to clean up government. And that he keeps our country safe: I know he can do that. It sounds very broad, but I think people feeling safe and like they are secure in their own homes \u2014 that encompasses many things. It&amp;#039;s not just the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan: This is local issues, too. And I think security is a big issue for people. And I think he would say that, too. RE: What are your greatest fears about the presidency? CM: My biggest fear would be, perhaps, he couldn&amp;#039;t get the work done that he wants to do. That politics as usual would stay in place. That he would attempt to work across the aisle and they wouldn&amp;#039;t work with him or would refuse. He&amp;#039;s a tough one to turn down, though.  RE: Intense public scrutiny comes with the territory when you run for President; you know what you&amp;#039;re getting in for. And so most Americans now are aware that you&amp;#039;ve struggled with an addiction to painkillers, and that you suffered a stroke, just as they are aware that you opened your heart to an orphan baby with a serious medical issue. But what don&amp;#039;t people know about you that you wish they did? CM: I&amp;#039;m very easygoing, actually. I think I&amp;#039;m very spirited, too \u2014 I think my husband would say that. In everything I do, my children come first, and my husband. I just think it&amp;#039;s so important to maintain family stability through all of this.  RE: How have you done that? I mean, stability while you&amp;#039;re on a campaign trail \u2014 it almost seems like an oxymoron. CM: You know, BlackBerrys are a wonderful tool [chuckles]. I&amp;#039;m very tenacious about keeping up with my kids, as they are with me. And of course we have one daughter that&amp;#039;s actually traveling with us, and that&amp;#039;s been wonderful. And so I make sure that I&amp;#039;m constantly in touch. RE: You told the New York Times that, in the days when you were coping with your back problem, you said, &amp;quot;I should have told him [John]. He never knew it. I wanted to be the perfect woman in those days.&amp;quot; Who do you want to be today? CM: I just want to be who I am. I think all women go through the belief that they need to be superwoman \u2014 that to be successful in any way, and I don&amp;#039;t necessarily mean in business or anything, but just to be a successful person, you have to be superwoman. And I learned the hard way that not only do you not have to be superwoman, but it&amp;#039;s better not to be and not to try to be. What I would like to be now is just a good person \u2014 someone who tries her best and puts her best foot forward. RE: As a woman and as a mom, what are the campaign issues that you care about the most? CM: Certainly the war. Because I worry, you know. My own sons have been and are active in the military and many, many thousands of other young men and women around the world are involved in it. Also, the economy...the economy-slash-education; I put them together. Because as a mother, I \u2014 like everyone else \u2014 have to fill my gas tank in my car. I have to feed my family. I have to be able to make sure that I can keep a roof over their heads and, with things escalating the way they are, it&amp;#039;s very difficult. People are losing their homes. And with that comes the opportunity for education. John and I had a wonderful opportunity to be able to send our children to the schools of our choice. Not everybody has that. We want everybody to have that. I think it&amp;#039;s a right that every American parent should have \u2014 choice and competition in education, and choice in schools are most important to me. RE: Please finish this sentence: I&amp;#039;ll know I&amp;#039;ve done a good job raising my kids and step-kids if... CM: If they are happy and are doing the things they want to do. RE: Spoken like a true parent. OK, changing gears: Do you think that this election has changed how we think about race? And if you do, how? CM: I don&amp;#039;t think it&amp;#039;s changed how Americans think of race, no. I think it&amp;#039;s a phenomenal age of politics because there are many firsts in this race. But I don&amp;#039;t think it has changed \u2014 nor should it change \u2014 the way people look at race. I think Americans are good-hearted, open-minded people and race doesn&amp;#039;t enter into this \u2014 at all. I believe in the great spirit and intelligence of Americans. RE: You think that race is not a factor in the presidential race at all? CM: No, I really don&amp;#039;t believe it is. Yes, you know, Mr. Obama is an African-American man and yes, we&amp;#039;re Irish. And isn&amp;#039;t that wonderful? It&amp;#039;s a wonderful thing for America. So I really don&amp;#039;t think race plays a part. RE: Are there popular perceptions of Cindy McCain \u2014 or for that matter, of Michelle Obama \u2014 that you think are inaccurate? What are the perceptions about you that you think are wrong? CM: I saw written someplace that people thought that I was kind of like a Stepford wife, and that couldn&amp;#039;t be further from the truth. I think my husband would say that, too. I&amp;#039;m anything but that. I have very distinct things that I like. I have very distinct opinions. Just because I choose to be a little less overt out on the campaign [trail] doesn&amp;#039;t mean I&amp;#039;m anything less than very opinionated and very intelligent. RE: What do you think the misperceptions about Michelle Obama are? CM: I don&amp;#039;t know her, but just from being a mother myself, I know she&amp;#039;s a good mother. I know she loves her husband, believes in him and believes in this country. And I&amp;#039;ve seen things written to the difference and I don&amp;#039;t believe that in any way, shape, or form. RE: At this point in the campaign, one of you is poised to become the next First Lady of the United States \u2014 not a small thing. What do you most admire about Michelle Obama&amp;#039;s character, as you&amp;#039;ve come to know her during the campaign? CM: Well, like I said, it&amp;#039;s tough to do what we do and keep a family together. And she&amp;#039;s doing it, as am I. She&amp;#039;s a good mother. She stands with her husband and believes in him and she too has opened up her life to scrutiny on the campaign trail. RE: I mean, how can you not? CM: I don&amp;#039;t know her, but I know that the reason she and I are both opening our lives like this is that we believe so definitely in our husbands, and so that&amp;#039;s really the best way I can answer that question. That&amp;#039;s really what this is all about. RE: Who are your heroes? Who are your role models? CM: My father. RE: Why? CM: He was soft-spoken \u2014 a very gentle man, but also very strong-willed. That sounds kind of strange but he was the kind of man who would do business on a handshake; he trusted people. He believed in people, and he believed in the good faith of others.  RE: What is the cause now that&amp;#039;s nearest and dearest to your heart? CM: I&amp;#039;m involved in a lot of different things. As you know, Operation Smile \u2014 I&amp;#039;m involved in that because of my daughter Bridget. I have become very involved in HALO Trust, the landmine organization. With both Operation Smile and HALO, you can see immediate results, and that&amp;#039;s good \u2014 I like to see immediate results. But I also understand the long-term needs and issues that are facing us. The organization called Women for Women International that&amp;#039;s empowering women, teaching them their constitutional rights in countries where they didn&amp;#039;t know they had rights. And you don&amp;#039;t see it immediately, but the overall effect is so dynamic and so wonderful. RE: If your husband does win and you&amp;#039;re elected to the White House, First Ladies usually have a platform in some area or a cause that they espouse. Have you decided yet what yours would be? CM: I would continue to do the things that I do now. I&amp;#039;d get into the field and work, and be an example to other people that you can&amp;#039;t rely on the government to be the answer to everything. If you really want to see change, and have change, you&amp;#039;re going to have to get involved. But I&amp;#039;d also like to bring light to issues that are important. We talked earlier about women&amp;#039;s rights around the world. This is so important because fledgling countries, in my opinion, are empowered by women. The strength of women and women&amp;#039;s rights around the world are especially important because that affects children and families. And the cascade effect is remarkable. RE: Is there anything that keeps you up at night worrying? CM: Oh, where my children are [laughs]! I&amp;#039;m no different than anybody else. I want to make sure that they&amp;#039;re safe and it&amp;#039;s so funny because we have a boy in the Marine Corps and I so worry about him. I mean, he&amp;#039;s quite capable of taking care of himself, but I worry about all of them! You know, my children are just the first ones \u2014 and, of course, my husband \u2014 but my children are first and foremost. RE: Are there any words of courage that give you strength during hard times or when times are tough? CM: I rely on some words that actually my husband said to me. He jokes about saying, &amp;quot;You know it&amp;#039;s only darkest before it&amp;#039;s totally black!&amp;quot; Even in my darkest hour \u2014 and my darkest hour was probably when I lost both my parents \u2014 I look to him and I see what he has endured, what he has overcome, what he is doing with his life, and just how he&amp;#039;s lived his life. And he is such an inspiration to me. I know I&amp;#039;m married to him, and so I should say those things, but he&amp;#039;s just such a hero of mine, too. I look to him for his guidance and his friendship and his funny little lines because they mean a great deal; they really do. He&amp;#039;s a great inspiration to me. RE: Do you have heart-to-heart conversations with your husband about where you see room for improvement in his campaign, or opportunities that are missed \u2014 and if you do have those heart-to-hearts with him, does he take your advice?  CM: Yeah, I do. We both have heart-to-hearts with each other. It&amp;#039;s important; that&amp;#039;s the important part of being honest with someone. I want the best for him, so I&amp;#039;m going to tell him the truth, and tell him what I think \u2014 as he does to me. We both take each other&amp;#039;s advice. We both listen to each other very carefully. And, generally, we do what we both suggest. RE: Who&amp;#039;s the better listener? CM: We&amp;#039;re both good listeners, actually. I learned to listen from my addiction, because I didn&amp;#039;t go to him immediately. I didn&amp;#039;t want to disappoint him; I didn&amp;#039;t want to bother him. It was all the wrong things \u2014 it was the superwoman thing. And he is, and was, my best friend. He&amp;#039;s the one person I can go to who&amp;#039;ll be honest but will also help me.  RE: If your husband wins the election, how are you going to celebrate?  CM: Probably sleep [laughing]!  RE: In the event that he doesn&amp;#039;t win, how do you think you&amp;#039;ll support and comfort each other? CM: My husband&amp;#039;s the first one to say, &amp;quot;This is not the end of the world.&amp;quot; We&amp;#039;re doing what we want to do \u2014 what we have chosen to do \u2014 and we know the risks involved. And if, by chance, this doesn&amp;#039;t go our way, we&amp;#039;ll go on with our lives. We have a wonderful family and a great existence and a wonderful life out here. There&amp;#039;s plenty to celebrate. RE: Speaking of your family, yours is multigenerational. You have step-kids, you have kids, you have a grandmother. So when you get together for Thanksgiving, how do you celebrate? Set the scene for me. Who cooks? Who carves? What family traditions do you have? What do you do? CM: John cooks the bird. He deep-fries the turkey! RE: Do you cook, too? CM: Oh, yeah! I do all the other things [laughing]! I like doing it. It&amp;#039;s fun. And then we get everybody together and we usually go around the table and ask, for that year: What was your best day and worst day?  RE: How did that start?  CM: John started it. We started it when we first started having kids and we&amp;#039;ve been doing it ever since. RE: Do you have a secret talent? CM: I don&amp;#039;t know if it&amp;#039;s a talent, but I guess car racing. I&amp;#039;m fascinated by it and I love it. I think my other secret talent would probably be I&amp;#039;m into every technical thing there is \u2014 computers, BlackBerrys, all that kind of stuff. RE: You said you have two BlackBerrys? CM: I do. I teach everybody else to do that, too, and how to fix them. RE: Twenty-six million women read Good Housekeeping every month. What do you think is the most important thing for them to know about your husband&amp;#039;s candidacy? CM: I think for women particularly it&amp;#039;s most important to understand that he, number one, puts country first. This isn&amp;#039;t about being a politician. This isn&amp;#039;t about a particular party, although we are part of a party. This is about our country. And he has lived his life by that code of conduct, so what they will get in him is a man that is completely devoted and has always put country first. Everything he says you may not agree with, but you&amp;#039;re always going to know right where he stands. You&amp;#039;re always going to know that he will think about and worry about your security first, your life first. And, most importantly, he wants to make sure that you, at some point in your life, will have a higher opinion of government. I mean, we&amp;#039;re at our lowest possible in the public opinion of our government and that&amp;#039;s not healthy for our country. You will see a man who will truly be a great leader for the moms out there \u2014 but also will be a great inspiration, a great leader, for their children. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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