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"   Dress: Marni Belt: Prada Shoes: Christian Louboutin   Crown: Marc Jacobs (a Queen for a day courtesy of the ELLE closet) Marni is Italian for &amp;quot;straight male repellent.&amp;quot; Enduring a romantic bumpy road this week, I feel that it is only appropriate to compliment my misunderstanding of the male psyche with an outfit that sends a perplexing backhand back at them with my Marni potato sack. Lets be realistic, the dress is grossly unflattering, voluminous in all of the wrong places and is constructed out of Grade A cardboard ( I got it for $99 in Aspen because &amp;quot;it did not have hanger appeal&amp;quot;). But like hot flash fried pomme frites in a wax paper cone with mayonnaise or buttery pommes puree, Marni is total unreserved comfort. Unlike the starchy tuber, where the repercussions are not so forgiving, the satisfaction of Marni lies in the audience and attention it attracts: Gays! When the push and pull of heterosexual dating rituals leave you frustrated, bewildered and discouraged, there is nothing better than a triple snap compliment from our feminized male counterpart to make a girl feel invincible. Put down the carbs, reach for the Marni and head to Bowery Bar on Tuesday and indulge in a bag of Queenie complimentary satisfaction when the dudes get you down.  *Although you would be stupid to ask me for dating advice, I can confidently answer any style dilemmas you may have. Post a comment! -Malina V. Joseph "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.elle.com/fashion/news/a206/miss-potatohead-4494/>