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"  I write relationship books. I&amp;#039;m also a matchmaker on a reality dating show. If I&amp;#039;ve learned anything in my job, I&amp;#039;ve learned this: WHEN IT COMES TO DATING, EVERYBODY WANTS TO KNOW THE TOP FIVE BIGGEST DATING MISTAKES. Not the Top Four or Top Seven. They want the Top Five most obviously questionable things people do in dating\u2013 like having sex on the first date or drinking too much at dinner\u2014and they want to know now, dammit. Until you tell them.  Then you realize all anybody really wants to know is the top five mistakes other people are making. Because no one\u2014and by no one I mean you\u2014actually believes they&amp;#039;re doing anything wrong. That list of Top Five Biggest Dating Mistakes is really just a list of things you&amp;#039;re super-relieved you&amp;#039;re not doing and also it&amp;#039;s doubly great because now you feel superior to everyone who is doing those things.  Which is where I want you to slow your roll. Because if you&amp;#039;re still single and you don&amp;#039;t want to be, it&amp;#039;s possible (actually, it&amp;#039;s probable) that there are some other dating mistakes you&amp;#039;re making. Ones you don&amp;#039;t even think of as mistakes, probably because you think of them as The Way Things Are. Since my goal is to help you have a great life, especially when it comes to dating\u2014and hopefully avoid becoming a three-time divorcee like myself\u2014here is my list of The Five Biggest Dating Mistakes No One Even Realizes They Are Making Because Everyone Is Doing Them. 1. Friends With Benefits. As far as I&amp;#039;m concerned, this is the mistakiest thing ladies are out there doing. Not because it&amp;#039;s wrong wrong, but because most of the time, it&amp;#039;s sooooo not working! The problem with FWB is that we tend to do it with guys we would be willing to have as our boyfriend\u2013if he would just commit. But he can&amp;#039;t, or won&amp;#039;t, and since we still like him, we do FWB instead. I compare this to asking to volunteer at a company that doesn&amp;#039;t want to hire you. In other words, a bad idea. 2. Casual Sex. This is like Friends With Benefits, except with strangers. It&amp;#039;s a really great concept that would be so much better if it worked more than 13 percent of the time. Casual sex is, as I like to say, like recreational heroin. It doesn&amp;#039;t stay casual for long. Usually about three weeks, give or take. Then the drunk-dialing begins. The guy wonders who replaced the Cool Girl who was, like, totally Cool, with a passive-aggressive compulsive texter who wants to know why he&amp;#039;s not her boyfriend. I know a few girls who can have casual sex (lifetime ratio: 17 out of 1248 friends) and I&amp;#039;m sure you do, too\u2013but if you&amp;#039;re not her (and you know if you are) do yourself a favor and don&amp;#039;t even start with it, unless of course you like stalking people on Twitter to find out why they&amp;#039;re not calling you tonight. 3. Taking Something Good Instead of Holding Out For Something Great. Or, Holding Out For Something Great When You Could Be Taking Something Good. Yes, I know this is confusing. How can both of these things be true? Here&amp;#039;s how: Because they&amp;#039;re never true at the same time. See, sometimes you&amp;#039;re in a phase of your life where you really need to stop dating like you&amp;#039;re on a game show where you&amp;#039;re blindfolded and given 30 seconds in the shoe department at Bloomingdale&amp;#039;s to pick out the one shoe you will wear for the rest of your life. Other times\u2014and this tends to happen as you have more experiences in dating\u2014you go overboard on your List of Wants and Don&amp;#039;t Wants and pretty soon, only Channing Tatum will work for you. But Channing is taken, so then what? And besides, you don&amp;#039;t want to be with a celebrity because they almost never stay together. Speaking of which\u2014 4. Doing Relationships Like Celebrities Do. Celebrity culture is ubiquitous and unless you&amp;#039;ve never seen a tabloid, chances are you&amp;#039;ve been influenced by the way you see celebrities date and mate. Here&amp;#039;s the thing: You&amp;#039;re not on TV enough to make a sex tape and get a career out of it or get married to a guy you met ten minutes ago. So don&amp;#039;t. (When you become someone&amp;#039;s reality show sidekick, be my guest.) Console yourself with the fact that when Kim Kardashian is 43, that kind of reckless behavior won&amp;#039;t work for her either. Which brings me to my final point\u2014 5. Dating Like You Have All The Time In The World. I know you are going to laugh in my face, but ladies, you are not going to be young forever. No one tells you this anymore because it&amp;#039;s considered old-fashioned and also because someone invented Botox, so now we all pretend our eggs will never age, just like our faces won&amp;#039;t. If at some point\u2013not now, but AT SOME POINT\u2014you think you want children and a long-term relationship (in whatever order, I don&amp;#039;t judge) you need to take your love life as seriously as you take your career. Okay, your hair. Condition it, keep it mostly clean (though, yes, sometimes it looks great dirty), and keep experimenting until you find what works best for you. Because what&amp;#039;s right for you is the first and last thing on that other dating list: Top One Most Important Thing You Must Do To Be Happy In Love. Tracy McMillan is the author of Why You&amp;#039;re Not Married... Yet and a matchmaker on NBC&amp;#039;s new primetime reality show, Ready For Love, premiering Tuesday April 9. She&amp;#039;s also the mother of a 16-year-old guy.  Every day this week, she&amp;#039;ll be dropping (carnal) knowledge at Cosmopolitan.com.  Want more from sage love advice from Tracy? Follow her on Twitter. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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