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"  SNOW WHITE Because this one time the set for Miley&amp;#039;s shows looked like an (enchanted?) forest with the mushrooms and dancing trees and all, not to mention that she&amp;#039;s surrounded by a bunch of helpful little people backup dancers whom she loves dearly. Look, I&amp;#039;m not saying that makes Madonna the wicked Queen or anything because I love Madonna, but I did hear Miley got left a gift basket filled with shiny apples following last week&amp;#039;s MTV\u00A0Unplugged\u00A0special. ESMERELDA Basically every old man talking on TV about how gross Miley&amp;#039;s twerking is = Frollo.\u00A0In particular, Bill O&amp;#039;Reilly. (Really, the resemblance is uncanny when you stop to think about it.) MULAN Because she&amp;#039;s raging against the patriarchy and society&amp;#039;s mainstream notions of a young woman&amp;#039;s sexuality, that&amp;#039;s why. Also she&amp;#039;s taking over for her dad and arguably doing an even better job than he did back in the day. span style=&amp;quot;text-decoration:underline;&amp;quot;&amp;gt;AURORA Well, this is maybe tenuous but she is on the new cover W\u00A0magazine wrapped up in bedsheets and looking like she just woke up. Note: Miley is also in bed for most of\u00A0her &amp;quot;Adore You&amp;quot; music video, so maybe there&amp;#039;s something there after all. ARIEL  And because she sings real good, duh; there are probably a lot of jealous octopus witches/flop musicians out there who wish they could steal her voice and take over her career and (optional, but recommended because he was a hottie) marry Prince Eric. Furthermore, she said she&amp;#039;s a hoarder that one time and &amp;quot;Miley&amp;#039;s dinglehopper-filled secret grotto&amp;quot; just has a great ring to it. POCAHONTAS Wikipedia tells us Miley was &amp;quot;very close&amp;quot; with her grandfather, the Democratic politician Ronald Ray Cyrus (who served 11 terms in the Kentucky House of Representatives). In 2006, Miley even changed her middle name \u2014 to Ray \u2014 in tribute to him. \u00A0And this is a bond straight out of the New World because (1) wise elder Grandmother Willow is also awesome and (2) Miley/Pocahontas have certainly both chosen to follow their dream givers around the river bend.  BELLE Ugh, mostly because Liam Hemsworth turned out to be such a Gaston, right? And also because, though they haven&amp;#039;t been enchanted into furniture, Miley probably does have a staff of people to wait on her hand and foot and, yes, please, cook her marvelous sing-a-long meals.\u00A0 RAPUNZEL Magic things happened when Miley cut her hair short too.  MERIDA See: Mulan. Miley is not going to bow to parental pressures and marry the guy from some other country music clan or even just put her pants back on. It&amp;#039;s just not going to happen. And having grown up on a ranch, I definitely think she&amp;#039;d be able to pull off some needlepoint (you know, Brave&amp;#039;s whole mystic tapestry subplot thing) while riding a horse into battle (aka a red carpet). She could then wear the needlepoint on the red carpet too. ALICE  Remember that floating kitten in the background\u00A0during Miley&amp;#039;s AMA performance? Of course you do. Well it&amp;#039;s going to grow up to be the Cheshire Cat, true story. Also, let&amp;#039;s not pretend that a lot of people in her social circle aren&amp;#039;t toking up like that\u00A0funky Wonderland-dwelling caterpillar.  MEGARA And not that I&amp;#039;m saying it&amp;#039;s hellish necessarily (Joe Jonas may disagree) but the Disney machine certainly owned Miley&amp;#039;s soul for a while. But now she&amp;#039;s broken free and, if recent sexy rumors are to be believed, found her very own Hercules to hook up with for a little while. I mean that literally, because yay, Kellan Lutz. MADAM MIM I know, I know, not a heroine in the traditional sense of the word (or at all) but I just want to end on a Madam Mim GIF. Zim zaba zim bim!  Follow Alex on Twitter. Photo credit: Disney / Getty Images "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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