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" Kamilah and Mauvalyn Benjamin Mauvalyn tells her daughter Kamilah about not knowing her own mother very well, her struggles as a young single mom, and her hopes for Kamilah&amp;#039;s future children. MAUVALYN: I grew up in Jamaica and ran wild in the meadows, swam in the rivers, and climbed trees. Then, in 1977, at 12, I came to America. I was very happy to move to America, where I&amp;#039;d heard stories that people got fined for littering the streets. We landed in Miami, and I was like, &amp;quot;There&amp;#039;s dirt and garbage everywhere!&amp;quot; I cried for a week because I thought it was going to be like the postcards. Turns out, it was the real world. KAMILAH: What was your relationship like with your mom and dad growing up? MAUVALYN: In Jamaica, I was with my grandmother. She was pretty mean. She always had a paddle or switch, and my siblings and I always ran away from her because she loved to beat [us]. That was what it was; we did what we needed to do to survive that. Before I came to the States, I hadn&amp;#039;t been with my mom and dad much. My dad had been working in and traveling to the States for as long as I knew. My mom would visit Jamaica frequently, and I would spend more time with her, but it still wasn&amp;#039;t that bond of growing up and seeing your mom every day. When I first came here, I had a very, very difficult time in school, because my English wasn&amp;#039;t very good and kids picked on me a lot. I got into a fight one day and was late getting home. My dad asked me where I had been, and I was so mad that I couldn&amp;#039;t even talk. He started to take out the belt to beat me, and I thought, Well, I&amp;#039;m just not going to budge, and my mom came to my rescue. I got closer to my mom for several years, until I became pregnant with you, my first child. I don&amp;#039;t think she was happy about it, because I wasn&amp;#039;t married. I don&amp;#039;t know what her thoughts were, really, but nonetheless, it took a toll on our relationship. I ended up moving out. KAMILAH: What was the hardest memory you have of being a mom? MAUVALYN: Having you guys at work with me. That was tough, because I was a single parent for the majority of those years, and there were days when I was not able to find a sitter. Luckily, hair[styling] was my profession, and I was able to sit you guys down in a corner and pray that you wouldn&amp;#039;t move and go forth with my daily tasks. That was tough, but with perseverance you make it through, and now look at you, all grown up. KAMILAH: If you could do anything over again, would you raise me differently? MAUVALYN: No. I think I did a pretty decent job\u2014the outcome is just wonderful. I mean, there were struggles and that&amp;#039;s a part of life, but I&amp;#039;m very proud of you. You&amp;#039;re doing great, and will continue to do great things. KAMILAH: What advice would you give me about raising my own kids? MAUVALYN: Child, think long and hard before you have any. You are forever a parent, period\u2014I don&amp;#039;t care if they&amp;#039;re 99 years old. So don&amp;#039;t just have a baby because you want a cute baby; plan like you would when you buy a home and know you&amp;#039;re going to be stuck with a mortgage for 30 years. Of course, you want both parents in the home because single parenting is absolutely no fun. Thankfully, in our case, it turned out okay. It&amp;#039;s important that your kids understand the gospel, respect their elders, and, first and foremost, do unto others\u2014you know, all the things I&amp;#039;ve pumped into you over the years.   Barbara Lee Yeung and Jo Ann Lee Barbara and Jo Ann recall their mother, May Wong Lee&amp;#039;s, strength running a business and raising six daughters in Savannah, GA in the 1960s and &amp;#039;70s. BARBARA: Growing up, I remember Mom working so hard, and coming home late at night, cooking dinner for us, putting us in the bathtub two at a time to bathe us, and then finally going to bed. They had a mom-and-pop store in a high-crime, minority neighborhood. She treated all her customers with great respect, and I think that&amp;#039;s why they respected her so much. She was very feisty. She was robbed three times, and on one occasion the robber was grabbing all the money, and she slammed the cash register and said, &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s enough!&amp;quot; He was so shocked that he ran out of the store. When our father became ill and had several heart attacks and could no longer work, she would work in the store sometimes until 7 o&amp;#039;clock at night. Loyal customers became friends. There was Jimmy and Herb\u2014do you remember them? They would stay until she closed to make sure she was safe. She had to present a tough facade in our neighborhood, but behind her toughness, she was very kind and caring. She didn&amp;#039;t let us work in the store because she wanted us to study, but because she could not drive, she would ask us to deliver groceries to some of her customers who were elderly or ill. &amp;quot;I would worry about those children going hungry,&amp;quot; she said. I know that you had different memories because you were younger. JO ANN: I think I was only about 11 when Baba [Baba is Chinese for father] had a heart attack, I guess it was about 1962. So from &amp;#039;62 to &amp;#039;72, when Baba died, Mom had to really take care of the store a lot on her own because Baba was disabled. And she had to raise us, these six daughters. Mom had to put us all through college, so she worked really hard, but she never complained, She once told me she just had a simple life\u2014she went to work, she came home, and she took care of her children. BARBARA: In the &amp;#039;60s and &amp;#039;70s, during segregation in Savannah, I remember we would often ride the bus and she always took the seat next to black people. She told me that everybody is equal. I learned to have great respect for her and her ideals. I remember feeling special when she would walk me to school on the first day of the year and hold my hand so tightly while crossing the street that it would hurt. Those were her little acts of love, because Chinese people do not show a lot of open affection. She never kissed us or hugged us\u2014she showed her love in different ways. She used to pinch my son Brian&amp;#039;s cheeks, and he would say, &amp;quot;Why does Popo pinch my cheeks all the time?&amp;quot; I would say, &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s her way of showing you that she loves you.&amp;quot; JO ANN: Mom thought actions spoke louder than words. BARBARA: She loved watching nature programs; she would be so moved to see a mother bird feed her babies\u2014she just loved that maternal instinct. Mom loved to sew and would always make beautiful dresses for us, especially at Easter. But I remember on a May Day event, I was in second grade\u2014the teachers wanted us to have a pinafore or a little apron to dance around the flagpole. The other kids all had aprons, but Mom made me this beautiful organza pinafore so they asked me to lead the class out, and I just felt so special. She made me think I was special.  Cassandra and Stormy Clark Cassandra Clark dropped out of college when she became pregnant with her daughter Stormy in 1989, and raised her and her younger brother Dra&amp;#039;Shaun as a single mother. She pushed her daughter academically while she struggled in low-wage jobs. After a few false starts, Cassandra went back to college. Stormy helped her finish her degree, and they graduated within a day of each other in 2012. Here, they discuss their shared experience. CASSANDRA: So, Stormy, tell me, what was it like growing up with me? Be honest. [Laughs] STORMY: It was not a challenge, but you challenged me in a way that the parents of people who grew up around me didn&amp;#039;t. When I was younger, I think part of me slightly resented you because I didn&amp;#039;t get everything that everyone else got. But as I grew up, I saw the greater purpose in everything you did. You&amp;#039;ve always been big-picture-oriented when I could only see the here and now. CASSANDRA: Do you think I was too hard on you? STORMY: No, because I made it. You weren&amp;#039;t too hard. It&amp;#039;s not like you said [a lot], there was just an underlying expectation. If I came home with a 92 on a paper, you&amp;#039;d ask, &amp;quot;Where are the other 8 points?&amp;quot; CASSANDRA: I never said that! STORMY: Always. Got a 99 and you&amp;#039;d say, &amp;quot;Where&amp;#039;s the other point at?&amp;quot; [Laughs] &amp;quot;Why didn&amp;#039;t you get 100?&amp;quot; CASSANDRA: [Laughs] I was joking! I wasn&amp;#039;t getting good jobs or making money not because I couldn&amp;#039;t do it, but because I didn&amp;#039;t have a piece of paper. More than anything, I had always felt like a failure for not finishing [college] straight after high school. STORMY: And now you&amp;#039;re a success. CASSANDRA: I don&amp;#039;t even look at it like that. I still fall back on how I should have done it a long time ago. All I see are the years that I wasted. STORMY: Growing up, I knew that you were perfectly capable of doing just about anything. But it always saddened me that the difference between you being happy and more successful was a degree\u2014when outside of a degree you&amp;#039;re just as capable. I&amp;#039;ve been through college and been in those classes, and anybody can get a piece of paper. CASSANDRA: You helped me a lot. I would not have my degree if it wasn&amp;#039;t for you, and you know this. You helped me with my assignments and to get material for my papers when you worked at the library, and I&amp;#039;m so appreciative. STORMY: There were times when your computer wasn&amp;#039;t working, and we&amp;#039;d be on the phone for hours to type up an assignment so you could get it submitted on time online. [At graduation], you sashayed across the stage. CASSANDRA: Did I sashay? I don&amp;#039;t think I sashayed. What was it like to sit and watch me get my degree? STORMY: I was very proud to see you reach your goal\u2014one of your goals. It was more like an obstacle. But I was proud; it was rewarding. Not many people get to see their parents graduate. CASSANDRA: What are your hopes for my future? STORMY: That you find a career that makes you happy, something that you can grow in. You know, you&amp;#039;re old, but you can still grow in something. [Both laugh] That&amp;#039;s what you&amp;#039;ve been striving for\u2014growth.  CASSANDRA: One of the things that I&amp;#039;ve always instilled in you and your brother is always to strive, always try to be better. You know I pride myself on my little tidbits. What bit of information that I&amp;#039;ve given you will follow you for the rest of your life? I know it&amp;#039;s hard, because I&amp;#039;ve had some good ones. [Both laugh] STORMY: Your wonderful stories and advice all center on persistence, determination, and minimizing distractions. To stay focused seems to be one of the biggest themes. CASSANDRA: I pray that you do take that with you. STORMY: I thank you and I love you for everything that you did\u2014and that you&amp;#039;re still doing. No one could have done a better job than you did. CASSANDRA: Aw, I was the right person for the job. I love you too. And I am very, very proud of you. I could not have asked for a better child. Want to share your story? Visit StoryCorps to find a recording station in your area or to download their do-it-yourself instruction guide. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/mom-kids/advice/a17386/motherhood-storycorps/>