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" 1. Expectation: You make a seXXXy plan together like the Bonnie and Clyde of beach banging. Reality: One of you really wants to do it and has to convince the other one to do it and the person who wants to do it less is cranky on the way there.   2. Expectation: You head to your spotless, semi-abandoned, gorgeous stretch of basically private sand and clear water. Reality: You head to a crowded beach where a discarded Wendy&amp;#039;s wrapper once blew across your bare stomach while you were napping.   3. Expectation: The cabana is a perfect place for foreplay. Reality: A stall in the nasty, marsh-like, toilet paper-strewn public women&amp;#039;s bathroom on the boardwalk is not the perfect place for foreplay.   4. Expectation: It might be more private and discreet in the water. Reality: About 7,000 children, seaweed, and floating garbage will see you have sex in the water.   5. Expectation: You wait it out until the sun&amp;#039;s setting and most of the people are gone. Reality: You walk far enough away that nobody can see you clearly enough to watch, and then you realize you are behind some boardwalk dumpsters, but it&amp;#039;s the best spot you can find, so whatever.   6. Expectation: He takes off your bikini top and throws it aside in a very Christian Grey-ish manner. Reality: He unties the top part of your bikini so it flops down inside-out over your torso and then does not untie the part around your waist so you just have two weird fabric flaps.   7. Expectation: By putting down a blanket, you manage to avoid a sand-in-the-crotch situation. Reality: You have an extreme sand-in-the-crotch situation that you are terrified will become an extreme sand-in-your-actual-vagina situation.   8. Expectation: You have a long and luxurious ~*~*~lOvEmAkInG~**~*~ sesh. Reality: After three awkwardly positioned and sandy thrusts, he loses his boner because he is nervous that a kid will wander off the boardwalk and come upon your sinful fornication.   9. Expectation: You both come. At the same time. Reality: You&amp;#039;re both cracking up.   10. Expectation: You finish up the sex at home. Reality: You shower and take a nap.   RELATED: Expectations vs. Reality: Shower Sex Expectations vs. Reality: The Beach  Follow Anna on Twitter.   Photo Credit: Getty "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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