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"[\n\n](http://blog.gq.com/blogs/the-q/StickUp.jpg)\n\n Each week, Zach Dionne, Dan Fierman, Jesse Lee, and Kevin \"The Monger\" Sintumaung gather to email about their favorite show. Make fun of them, and they'll detonate an a-bomb on your ass\n\nDan Fierman: As usual, it's my burden to start this shit. So I will, with a simple observation: With four episodes left, exactly how much time do Darleton plan to spend shuttling people back and forth between the Charles Widmore's Happy Time Hydra Island and the place we spent last last five seasons actually caring about? Was it too much to hope that OUR MAIN CHARACTERS WOULD FINALLY STAY TOGETHER AND BUILD TOWARD A FINAL CONFLICT/CONCLUSION?\n\nGrr.\n\nYours, in frustration\n\nZach Dionne: Exactly. Very frustrating episode. All the ferrying around, and now a big batch of our heroes are on their knees on Hydra Island, about to be captured again? SERIOUSLY?\n\nThis was the show's finest hour of implausibility, I thought. That whole\u2014\"Hey, you're here?\" \"I'm here too!\" with Desmond and Claire; Sawyer just happens to be in the back yard, ready to trip Sayid with the garden hose; Jack and Locke are unscathed after getting Missile Commanded; Sun gets shot in the gut and the baby is A-OK; \"everything is going to be okay\" with Sun and Jin in the alt universe even though, um, Sun's insanely rich and powerful dad paid to have them killed and they aren't dead? Don't get me started on the fact that Sun would never, EVER go up to her man after three years and speak to him in English. Despite the reunion inexplicably playing out in English and the cliche-ridden things they had to say to each other, I think if you weren't a little moved, after six years with these characters, you might as well go watch CSI: Atlanta or whatever you can find.\n\nBut yeah. Dan tweeted \"meh,\" and was right on the money. This is going to be such a bitch to wrap up in five hours. I'm nervous.\n\nJesse Lee: Definitely not my favorite episode! However I did love how Sawyer was calling everything out: Sayid's a zombie, Claire's a loon, Lapidus is an extra from a Bert Reynolds movie.\n\nDan: No doubt. The Bert Reynolds line was an-all time Sawyer great.\n\nWas anyone else shocked that apparently Des wasn't on a mission for Widmore when he allowed himself to be captured? Because man, that makes him the dumbest electromagnetic-resistant quasi-superman in pop culture history.\n\n [\n\n](http://blog.gq.com/blogs/the-q/JinandSun.jpg)\n\n Zach: Yes. While nothing can take away the fact that episodes like Richard's and Desmond's were all-time greats, it feels like they hyped up a lot that...isn't actually happening. At all.\n\nCan I zoom out for a second? Did any of you guys watch the clip show with Damon and Carlton before the season five finale, and they seemed, very humbly, to think they'd saved the best for the last season. Comments like Jesse's, understated \"this one was kind of...um...y'know...\" have been fucking rampant this season. It's been more good than bad. Was I bamboozled, or does Darlton actually think this sideways, ever-traipsing bullshit is Lost's finest hour? I really hate to bitch, but it's just been mostly a confusing (moreso than usual) and frustrating (so much that frustration of seasons past is a distant memory) mess.\n\nKevin Sintumuang: Sorry, I'm tardy to the party again guys. I told Smokey Locke to call me with this 4th gen iPhone I found laying on a bar stool to discuss things like why he didn't turn into the smoke monster and take care of that librarian-lookin' chick when she called in an airstrike and did he really believe that Sayid killed Desmond? So I gave him the iPhone from the future and he went and smashed it with that stick that he's been whittling for the past 3 episodes. Steve Jobs is totally PISSED now, and I'm like, don't look at me, Smokey Locke has it.\n\nAlso, still recovering from when I puked in my mouth from the Jin/Sun beach reunion. By the way, I will be writing the rest of this recap in Korean because, you know, I've been learning it over the past few months and it feels totally natural to me to speak Korean during this emotional time.\n\nZach: Is anyone on board with the idea Jack is on the dark side with Smokey now? He's been groomed more and more for the Jacob role, and now for completely arbitrary reasons, he's \"with\" the Locke-Dressed Monster? No way. It's stressing me out that we have to anticipate a switcheroo from Jack, because I'm already banking on a last-minute martyrdom from Ben and/or Sawyer.\n\n [\n\n](http://blog.gq.com/blogs/the-q/CrazyClaire.jpg)\n\n Jesse: I a) Don't buy that they need to be together to leave the island because people have come and gone from the island in different ways so many times b) I sort of got that when Claire said you are with him because he talked to you\u2014that is somehow linked to the dagger thing, like you must kill him before he speaks, but I don't think that automatically means you are with him. Sawyer, Kate and Sun do not seem to be \"with him\"\u2014not the way Claire and Sayid are. And c) I don't believe that Jack is either, I get that that was what they were implying with that last scene\u2014but Jack didn't seem \"near death\" so, I'm not sold.\n\nDan: So in conclusion? Meh. Until next week, my nerd-bretheran."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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