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" I REMEMBER THE DAY my dad&amp;#039;s best friend, Rex, got a rattlesnake fang stuck in his leg and he just laughed. His wife begged him to go to the hospital, but Rex just plucked it out, drank a beer, and went to bed. Rex sold ceiling fans for a living, but on the side he was a daredevil snake handler at the Rattlesnake Roundup in Big Spring, Texas, where we lived when I was a kid. Our town, like a handful in Texas and across the U. S., sets aside a few days every spring and throws a party for all the snakes caught by ranchers in their pastures. Thousands of these venomous creatures are thrown into circular pits, and guys like Rex wade through in knee-high boots, poking them, taunting them, picking them up, and kissing them. The kids love it.  While in the pits, snakes constantly strike at the handlers&amp;#039; boots, and one managed to make it through Rex&amp;#039;s pair, breaking a fang. After the show, Rex pulled off a boot and there it was, the fang, sunk in his calf like a nasty thorn. Most men would&amp;#039;ve passed out, but Rex was back the next day, like a redneck Houdini, demonstrating how to slip out of a sleeping-bag full of live snakes. The audience gasped and howled.  The annual roundups have a long tradition in these towns not only of helping control snakes that threaten livestock but of attracting droves of tourists from as far away as Japan and Germany. The one that gets the most visitors--the self-proclaimed World&amp;#039;s Largest Roundup--takes place in Sweetwater, Texas, about an hour east of my hometown. Go there this month and you&amp;#039;ll see fearless snake-handling demonstrations, eat fried rattler with a side of fries, and marvel at men who milk snakes of their venom. (The stuff is later sold for medical research.) It all beats a parade. But the true highlight each year is the crowning of Miss Snakecharmer, who can usually be found working the snake-skinning pit, posing for pictures wearing a tiara and holding a Buck knife in her hand. A Roundup of Roundups \u00BBSweetwater, Texas, March 9--11; 915-235-5488 \u00BBClaxton, Georgia, March 10--11; 912-739-3820 \u00BBBig Spring, Texas, March 24--25; 915-263-7641 \u00BBOkeene, Oklahoma, May 4--6; 580-822-3005 \u00BBSharon Springs, Kansas, May 12--13; 785-852-4473 \u00BBLandisburg, Pennsylvania, June 2--3; 717-789-3080. The Descent of Man You know who you are. While others are checking which Greg Kinnear movie will be playing after takeoff, you&amp;#039;re actually paying attention to the stewardesses&amp;#039; preflight pantomime. Well, now you can indulge your paranoia before you even leave the house with amigoingdown.com. Plug in your info (destination, carrier, and departure date) and the Web site, which uses data from aviation authorities, claims to calculate the approximate odds of the plane shoulder-rolling into the drink. And how did such an idea come up? Over drinks, naturally. Brits Kip Parker and Paul Bailey were quaffing pints at the pub when talk turned to travel; the oft-quoted &amp;quot;one in six million&amp;quot; odds of a flight crashing seemed sorrily vague. And since Kip works in Web design and Paul in aviation, they had a calculator up within a week. (Lawyers take note: The shrewdly paranoid duo say they strive for accuracy but admit that their calculations are imprecise and for entertainment purposes only.) Among the lads&amp;#039; suggested rules to fly by: Avoid holiday travel, as increased air traffic boosts danger; don&amp;#039;t sit under TV monitors (they could fall on you); fly Qantas if possible (odds of your April flight crashing en route from L. A. to Sydney are a heartening 1 in 162,945,236); and don&amp;#039;t take a DC-10 from Jakarta to Pontianak on Garuda Indonesia in December, as the site claims your odds of tanking weigh in at a relatively dismal 1 in 130,450. --ELIZABETH EINSTEIN  The Rules Rule No. 143: If someone begins an opinion by saying, &amp;quot;Now, I&amp;#039;m not [fill in the blank],&amp;quot; then that person is [fill in the blank]. Rule No. 264: The only time it&amp;#039;s acceptable for a man to shut one eye is when he&amp;#039;s taking a picture. Rule No. 265: Unless he&amp;#039;s Popeye. Rule No. 298: The best shape is the rectangle. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a1620/travel-snake-rattle-roll-0301/>