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"  I never planned to be a stay-at-home wife. After graduating college, I got my master&amp;#039;s degree in library science and quickly landed a job at a library. At first, I thought it was what I&amp;#039;d wanted. I was never the girl who could sing or dance or act or do sports. I was the good student ... the reader. That was my identity. But over the course of the six years I spent at a public library in Nashville (where I live), my workload tripled ... and my salary didn&amp;#039;t. I went from being a librarian to being a librarian/volunteer coordinator/PR person. Those changes would have been a lot easier to stomach if I&amp;#039;d gotten a raise. I asked my boss for one, but to no avail. Instead, I was stuck with the same pay and working exactly one hour less than full-time, which meant no benefits. During my time at the library, I married my husband, Keith, who works 60 hours a week (at least!) as a computer programmer. His long hours meant most of the housework fell to me. To be honest, I never minded chores. Walking the dogs, doing the laundry, making the beds ... it all appeals to my domestic side. I truly enjoy it. But trying to keep up with two workloads \u2014 in the office and at home \u2014 was too much. Keith and I used to sit down to dinner at 10 p.m. and eat some disgusting meal out of a box. We were grumpy and sluggish and gaining weight because we didn&amp;#039;t have time to make real food. Sure, I could have hired a housekeeper. But why work at a job I hated, making just enough to pay someone else to do the work I loved? Keith and I discussed it and agreed that we could get by on his salary. We&amp;#039;d been anxious to sell our condo, and we decided my time was better spent adding value to our home. So last October, I quit my job. A generation ago, being a homemaker was an unremarkable choice. Nobody batted an eye at a woman who chose to forgo a traditional career in favor of cooking and cleaning. Now? Not so much. I do feel judged sometimes. People think I sit around eating chocolates and watching soap operas all day. &amp;quot;You must get your nails done so much,&amp;quot; they say. Staying at home when you don&amp;#039;t have kids is so unusual, it&amp;#039;s almost scandalous. When I told my mom, she understood. The person I was most concerned about disappointing was my mother-in-law, but she wasn&amp;#039;t judgmental. I did have a friend who gave me a hard time about it because he thought it was a bad idea for me to &amp;quot;tie myself to a man like that.&amp;quot; He said I was setting myself up to get screwed if my marriage failed, since I will have been out of an income and out of the traditional workforce, making it harder to get a job should Keith and I split. He told me I would be a &amp;quot;downtrodden housewife.&amp;quot; I told him I didn&amp;#039;t want to live my life in fear of &amp;quot;what if?&amp;quot; That I was married now, and I had to believe that was going to last. (My friend did later apologize.) Still, &amp;quot;What do you do?&amp;quot; has become the hardest question to answer. &amp;quot;I keep the home&amp;quot; is apparently not a valid response. &amp;quot;But what do you do?&amp;quot; people will say. I do everything it takes to make a household run. On a typical day, I get up between 9 and 10 \u2014 the luxury of a stay-at-home schedule! \u2014 and I walk our two dogs, make the beds, and do a load of laundry. Then I clean whatever room is on my schedule (Monday is bathrooms; Friday, I change the sheets and clean the bedroom). After the cleaning is done, the laundry goes in the dryer, and I take an hour of me time \u2014 surfing the internet, reading blogs, returning e-mails, or responding to comments on my own blog, where I post book reviews and interior design ideas. After lunch, I usually work on a home-improvement project, like putting up trim or painting the bedroom, or I run errands or groom the dogs. When I was working, we paid a groomer $140, more than I made in a day. This way, we&amp;#039;re actually saving money. There&amp;#039;s more than one way to add to your worth. By 3 p.m., I&amp;#039;m thinking about dinner \u2014 what to make, what ingredients I want to use up. I run to the grocery store if necessary. Dinner is on the table by 6:30. Instead of eating microwaved meals, Keith and I are eating roasted chicken breast with bruschetta tomato topping, melted buffalo mozzarella, and balsamic reduction (and I&amp;#039;m losing weight since we&amp;#039;re eating less processed junk). After dinner, Keith usually has to work from home, often until 1 or 2 a.m. Since I don&amp;#039;t have to be at an office the next day, I stay up with him. We get to enjoy each other&amp;#039;s company instead of passing out at the end of the day because we haven&amp;#039;t had a moment&amp;#039;s downtime. Last week, Keith and I were at an open house. We met a couple, and the usual small talk ensued. They asked in my direction: &amp;quot;And what do you do?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;I was a librarian,&amp;quot; I answered, trying to avoid my usual long explanation. &amp;quot;Now I&amp;#039;m getting our home ready to sell.&amp;quot; It&amp;#039;s the truth, if not the whole truth. I don&amp;#039;t think I&amp;#039;ll ever go back to an office job. If I get bored, maybe I&amp;#039;ll take on a part-time gig or volunteer. Or maybe we&amp;#039;ll have kids, and I&amp;#039;ll be a stay-at-home mom, a role people seem to understand more easily (we haven&amp;#039;t decided if or when we&amp;#039;ll have children). For now, we&amp;#039;re happy with this setup. We spend time together and are both doing what we love. And believe it or not, I haven&amp;#039;t had my nails done in six months. This article was originally published as &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m A Stay At Home Wife&amp;quot; in the May 2014 issue of Cosmopolitan. Click here to get the issue in the iTunes store! RELATED:15 Things To Remember During Your Early Years of Marriage 18 Signs You&amp;#039;re With the Man You Should Marry &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m Already Bored With My Marriage&amp;quot; Photo credit: Getty Images "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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