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"We meet with the mediator tomorrow morning, and my stomach is churning. It&amp;#039;s crazy, I know. It&amp;#039;s not like I don&amp;#039;t want this settled - believe me, I do! I just wish I could do it with Peter via email instead of both of us in a room discussing this stuff. Maybe he could appoint a proxy? Could Peter hire Dwayne Johnson to stand in for him? It would be in his best interests - I&amp;#039;d negotiate just about anything if I was staring at him across the table. Just a thought. All kidding aside, this is just a grueling, draining thing. It weighs on you and messes with your sleep and upsets your stomach and makes you crankier with your kids. I hate feeling like this. And I have to make sure I don&amp;#039;t hate it so much that I end up signing away the things that the kids and I need just to get this all over and done with more quickly. Most of all, I guess I wonder how I&amp;#039;m going to sit across from this person who bears a striking resemblance to the guy I used to call my best friend and not wonder again why it was so easy for him to throw it all away. Instead, I have to put on a business face and look at this as a deal gone wrong that we&amp;#039;re both trying to get out of. I need to dehumanize it all, sitting across the table from the man whose children I carried and birthed.  It&amp;#039;s surreal. And sad. And a thousand other emotions I can&amp;#039;t even put into words right now. Wish me luck tomorrow. I&amp;#039;ll just keep trying to think: What Would My Readers Do? [Follow Ellie on Twitter and Facebook] "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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