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"Hi guys, it&amp;#x27;s me. Back on the blog after a few days of much-needed rest (thanks, Lea!). Believe it or not, I got sick again. After the mastitis cleared up, I somehow came down with a mean case of bronchitis. I had a fever again and a wheezy, rumbly cough and icky runny nose. Add to that the sleep-deprivation of caring for a newborn and I&amp;#x27;ve pretty much felt like garbage for five days straight. But now I&amp;#x27;m back on antibiotics and, for the first time in a long time, feeling a little better today. Thankfully Nick&amp;#x27;s mother has been staying with us out on LI (my parents are away) and she is amazing with Alex so I&amp;#x27;ve been able to take care of myself as best I can. But that brings me to my question: Am I as bad as Britney? Because I&amp;#x27;ve been hacking and boogering (sorry) all over the place, I&amp;#x27;ve been told to try to limit contact with the baby--no kissing or cooing or snuggling, if I can avoid it. I don&amp;#x27;t think I could handle it if Alex got sick so I&amp;#x27;ve been trying to follow these orders. I&amp;#x27;m still breastfeeding so I&amp;#x27;ve been pumping and making bottles that Nick and his mom can give Alex. When I do breastfeed him, I turn my head away from him so I don&amp;#x27;t breathe on him and then I hand him right off to one of them to burp. And they&amp;#x27;ve let me sleep in a different room from the baby the past two nights so I&amp;#x27;ve been able to get some rest (for three hour stretches...I still have to get up and pump). Needless to say, I haven&amp;#x27;t been having an incredible amount of bonding time with my son lately. Now for the guilt part: Nick, who was at the doctor with me and knows how sick I&amp;#x27;ve been, thought it was funny to start calling me Britney. I love Nick&amp;#x27;s sense of humor--it&amp;#x27;s one of the reasons I fell for him in the first place--and for a while I found the Britney joke pretty funny. But eventually it started to get to me (once Nick finds something funny, he can&amp;#x27;t let it go so the Britney thing became an hourly occurence). Last night I got so upset I cried about feeling like Britney (severe lack of sleep and hormones in full effect). The thing is, I do feel guilty for happily handing him over to someone else to change and burp and feed. And it gets worse. Yesterday Nick and I went to look at houses (just to get a sense of what&amp;#x27;s out there...) and we left the baby with his mom for three whole hours. About an hour into it, the broker asked me if I missed the baby terribly and the answer was, &amp;amp;quot;um, not really.&amp;amp;quot; I was actually thoroughly enjoying being out in the fresh air and sunny day and away from my duties. And I knew Alex was in excellent hands (and I called a few times to be sure he was doing OK). Of course as soon as I said I didn&amp;#x27;t really miss him, I started crying. What kind of mother am I? Shouldn&amp;#x27;t I not be able to deal with being away from him for a minute? I love him so much and he is so cute and I am over the moon that he&amp;#x27;s here and doing so well, but I have to admit, something as simple as getting in the car by myself and going for a drive is like crack for me (could it be that I&amp;#x27;ve been holed up in the house in pajamas and milking myself like a cow for the past three weeks?). And as soon as I feel up to it, Nick and I are going to leave the little guy again and go out to dinner. And I might even have a glass of wine (I haven&amp;#x27;t even had one yet since I&amp;#x27;ve been so sick since he was born). I know I&amp;#x27;m not exactly shaving my head and hitting the clubs pantiless, but still. Am I bad mother already? Should I feel terribly guilty? Help! --Erin"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/life-with-cancer/2007/09/am-i-like-britney-spears>