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" Professor E-40: We&amp;#039;ve had Elie Wiesel and Marilyn Manson surprise students as guest teachers for a day. What if our next luminary was rapper E-40, the guy who popularized the terms &amp;quot;collar poppin&amp;#039;,&amp;quot; &amp;quot;fa sheezy,&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;scrilla&amp;quot;? He could teach a linguistics class. Shop-Vacs Will Be Huge: We&amp;#039;ll have three fraternities Shop-Vac their houses and then open up the innards. The frat with the most surprising or appalling contents wins free housecleaning for the rest of the year. Martha Stewart to judge? Mascot Parables: We should explore how much mascots really internalize their roles by putting them in situations from ancient parables and seeing what happens. For example, will the Nevada State College Scorpion backstab the Texas Christian University Horned Frog even if it sinks them both? Sobriety Test: Spring break is supposed to be the ultimate bacchanal, but what about the kid who can&amp;#039;t drink because he&amp;#039;s on meds? Does he hook up at all? Does he eventually cave and risk brain damage for one sweet taste of J\u00E4ger? Dining-Hall Makeover: We all know that one dining-hall worker who adds a sprinkle of love to the mashed potatoes but still wears a hair net and horn-rims. Let&amp;#039;s give her a makeover. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/a2250/esq1005mtvu/>