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"Lee Daniels&amp;apos; life could be its own movie. In a new interview with Out magazine, the 53-year-old director recalls painful memories of his childhood, drug abuse and why he decided to come out as gay.\r\n\r\n&amp;quot;When I came out it was because I loathed my dad so much -- I couldn&amp;apos;t understand how you could, with an extension cord, beat a 45-pound kid just because he&amp;apos;s aware of his femininity,&amp;quot; he said. The Precious director told the magazine his father, William, dumped him into a trash can after he caught him wearing his mother&amp;apos;s red high heels.\r\n&amp;quot;For me it really created a world where I understood Precious, where you learn the power of the imagination,&amp;quot; he said of his relationship with his father, who died while on duty as a police officer when he was 15. &amp;quot;And that&amp;apos;s how it began for me.&amp;quot;\r\n\r\nAfter his dad&amp;apos;s death, however, Daniels&amp;apos; life didn&amp;apos;t get much easier. The Butler director watched loved ones die of AIDS, struggled with a crystal meth addiction, and adopted his niece Clara and nephew Liam after his brother was sent to jail. Daniels recalled of his conversation with his brother: &amp;quot;He called and said, &amp;apos;I&amp;apos;m going to be there for a long time; I got this girl pregnant, she doesn&amp;apos;t want the kids, and I have a feeling she&amp;apos;s going to abandon them.&amp;apos;&amp;quot;\r\nDaniels&amp;apos; transition into Hollywood also wasn&amp;apos;t easy. Monster&amp;apos;s Ball, his debut production from Lee Daniels Entertainment, won Halle Berry the Best Actress Oscar in 2002, but Daniels couldn&amp;apos;t enjoy her victory. &amp;quot;It&amp;apos;s always when things are really good for me that I feel I&amp;apos;m not worthy of it,&amp;quot; he explained to Out. &amp;quot;When Halle won her Oscar, I remember her calling, saying, &amp;apos;Are you going to the Vanity Fair party?&amp;apos; and I&amp;apos;m strung out in the Chateau Marmont, methed out of my mind, thinking I didn&amp;apos;t deserve it.&amp;quot;\r\n\r\nRegarding his frank &amp;quot;methed out my mind&amp;quot; remark, Daniels told Out that he likes to be very honest about his faults. &amp;quot;I have to be really aware of it, and always talking about it -- and be truthful about it to the point of ugliness so that it keeps my ass in check.&amp;quot;\r\nBut the Paperboy director, who lives in New York City, prefers to keep some distance between himself and Hollywood. &amp;quot;In L.A. they make you feel insecure, like you&amp;apos;re always looking at the stars and you feel like you&amp;apos;re not one of them,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;You feel like, &amp;apos;I&amp;apos;m nothing.&amp;apos; It was what my father told me I was, and I knew I had to get out of there.&amp;quot;"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/lee-daniels-i-came-out-as-gay-because-i-loathed-my-dad-20131411>