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"It&amp;#039;s 4:40 AM \u2013 do you know where your children are??? Why yes, I do. They are sleeping comfortably in MY bed after having gouged, smacked, drooled, kicked and elbowed me out of it. It all started when Anna decided to spend the night at a friend&amp;#039;s house. When Anna sleeps over somewhere (or when someone sleeps over with Anna), David knows he&amp;#039;s allowed to sleep in Mommy&amp;#039;s bed. It&amp;#039;s a huge treat for him, and he even does a little happy dance whenever I tell him Anna&amp;#039;s having a sleepover. So I kissed Anna goodbye, David and I watched a movie, and then we headed up to bed. Ten minutes later, the phone rang, and Anna wanted to come home instead of staying over. Luckily, the friend was only a few doors down, so once we all got home and settled again, I ended up with both of them sharing the bed since I&amp;#039;d promised David and Anna felt that it wasn&amp;#039;t fair that he got to sleep with Mom when she didn&amp;#039;t. Ugh. I love my kids, but they are pure misery to sleep with. Anna is a whirling dervish who talks in her sleep all night long, even getting up to stand on the bed sometimes! David is a burrower, attaching himself to the nearest warm body and burrowing in until he&amp;#039;s practically underneath you. He also wakes sometime in the middle of the night, shouting &amp;quot;MOM! at the top of his lungs. The end result is that I get zero sleep while they&amp;#039;re in my bed. I ended up laying across the foot of the bed until Anna kicked me enough times that I couldn&amp;#039;t take it anymore. So here I sit, thinking. Their Dad was just as impossible to sleep with. He didn&amp;#039;t roll over at night, he launched himself in the air and flipped, bouncing the whole bed when he landed. He had allergies, so he frequently cleared his throat and somehow he did it loud enough to register on the richter scale. He was also a serious cover hog, mummifying himself nightly in a comforter cocoon while I clutched the corner of the bedsheet, shivering. I&amp;#039;m thinking if I ever marry again (and that&amp;#039;s debatable), the next guy has to sleep like the dead. No sound. No movement. Just several hours of peaceful slumber. I&amp;#039;ve earned it, after all these years. Now how the heck do you write that in a personal ad without sounding crazy? "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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