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"Say you contract an STD. (More than half of all people do!) In addition to a call from your doctor, you might also hear from a &amp;amp;#8220;sex detective&amp;amp;#8221; like Tai Cooper. That&amp;amp;#8217;s because most STDs must be reported to the state department of health, where staffers like Cooper, the communicable diseases prevention program manager for the Wyoming Department of Health, take over. (Don&amp;amp;#8217;t worry; their files are strictly confidential.) A sex detective&amp;amp;#8217;s first job: to make sure you&amp;amp;#8217;ve been treated. Next, if necessary, she&amp;amp;#8217;ll either coach you on the best way to break the news to your current or former partner or confidentially relay the news for you, even if it means tracking down a random guy you hooked up with. &amp;amp;#8220;I try to find him on dating sites or apps, his Facebook page&amp;amp;#8212;however I can,&amp;amp;#8221; says Cooper. She&amp;amp;#8217;s tenacious because she has to be: By contacting possibly infected people, she can help stop the spread of STDs, save women from unnecessary infertility, even save lives. So how can you handle the talk on your own? Let the sex detectives give you the script. OK, first: Whom do I have to tell? Any partner you&amp;amp;#8217;ve had since your last negative STD test, which means every partner if you&amp;amp;#8217;ve never been tested, unless your doctor tells you otherwise. And don&amp;amp;#8217;t pick and choose based on who you think may have given it to you. &amp;amp;#8220;[A large percentage] of all chlamydia and gonorrhea cases are asymptomatic,&amp;amp;#8221; says Aimee Dickenson, a disease-intervention specialist for the Virginia Department of Health. &amp;amp;#8220;Even the most clean-cut banker boy could be infected.&amp;amp;#8221; Can I do it over the phone? &amp;amp;#8220;Unless it&amp;amp;#8217;s a current partner, you should call rather than do it in person,&amp;amp;#8221; says Dickenson. &amp;amp;#8220;That way, if he gets combative, you can just hang up.&amp;amp;#8221; How do I start the conversation? Before you call, research your STD (cdc.gov is reliable) so you can share the basics with your partner, says Cooper. Then, adds Dickenson, &amp;amp;#8220;say, &amp;amp;#8216;I wanted to let you know that I&amp;amp;#8217;ve tested positive for chlamydia (or whatever the STD is) and that you need to be tested and treated.&amp;amp;#8217;&amp;amp;#8221; Use a neutral tone&amp;amp;#8212;that&amp;amp;#8217;s key!&amp;amp;#8212;and don&amp;amp;#8217;t point fingers. &amp;amp;#8220;Most of the time you won&amp;amp;#8217;t know who gave it to whom,&amp;amp;#8221; says Dickenson. If that&amp;amp;#8217;s the case, add this line: &amp;amp;#8220;I&amp;amp;#8217;m not sure if I got it from you or you got it from me&amp;amp;#8212;but if it&amp;amp;#8217;s me, I&amp;amp;#8217;m sorry.&amp;amp;#8221; This helps alleviate any blame or shame, says Dickenson. If he gets defensive, stay calm. &amp;amp;#8220;I hear men say all the time, &amp;amp;#8216;I&amp;amp;#8217;m clean! I had my yearly physical and blood work.&amp;amp;#8217; But that doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t mean he was specifically tested for STDs,&amp;amp;#8221; says Dickenson. Remind him that what&amp;amp;#8217;s important is that you both get treated. &amp;amp;#8220;Say something softer like &amp;amp;#8216;You&amp;amp;#8217;re the only person I&amp;amp;#8217;ve slept with since my last test, so I&amp;amp;#8217;m pretty sure I got it from you, and I want to make sure you get it taken care of,&amp;amp;#8217;&amp;amp;#8221; says Dickenson. Then: Click! What if my current partner refuses to get treated? Then don&amp;amp;#8217;t let your vagina within 50 yards of him. &amp;amp;#8220;You risk getting reinfected,&amp;amp;#8221; says Dickenson. And nudge. &amp;amp;#8220;Guys may not know where to go for treatment,&amp;amp;#8221; says Cooper, &amp;amp;#8220;so you can offer the name of a free clinic.&amp;amp;#8221; Many states also allow what&amp;amp;#8217;s called expedited partner therapy, where you&amp;amp;#8217;re given two &amp;amp;#8220;partner packs&amp;amp;#8221; of meds for chlamydia or gonorrhea&amp;amp;#8212;one for you and another to pass on to your partner so he doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t even have to go to a doctor. And remember, says Dickenson: To protect yourself, use condoms if you&amp;amp;#8217;re not in a monogamous relationship and get tested after every new partner. I don&amp;#x27;t think I can go through with this talk. Are there options? &amp;amp;#8220;Every state health department has specialists like me,&amp;amp;#8221; says Dickenson, &amp;amp;#8220;who can discreetly break the news for you.&amp;amp;#8221; There are also free websites, such as sotheycanknow.org, that do the same. &amp;amp;#8220;But really,&amp;amp;#8221; adds Dickenson, &amp;amp;#8220;if you&amp;amp;#8217;re mature enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to talk about it.&amp;amp;#8221;"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2014/07/std-how-to-tell-somebody>