<http://schema.org/articleBody>
" I can&amp;#039;t put it off any longer \u2013 my family is officially coming to visit. All of them. My parents called last night. Ben was over, and when the phone rang, I looked at the caller ID. &amp;quot;Who is it?&amp;quot; Ben asked. &amp;quot;My parents.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Answer it!&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Nah, I&amp;#039;ll call them back later.&amp;quot; Ben made a face at me, grabbed my phone and answered it. &amp;quot;K&amp;#039;s phone,&amp;quot; he said, giving me a wink. I grabbed a pillow from the couch and smacked him with it. &amp;quot;Oh, hello Mrs. _____. Yes, this is Ben. How are you? Oh, I&amp;#039;m doing very well, thank you. Yes, I think K&amp;#039;s around here somewhere \u2013 let me grab her for you.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Kiss ass,&amp;quot; I whispered before taking the phone. &amp;quot;Hello?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Hi honey, it&amp;#039;s Mom.&amp;quot; Mom told me in no uncertain terms that she and my dad are coming to visit Labor Day weekend, that my brother is going to come up for at least an overnight, and that they expect a tour of my office (Heh, short tour. It&amp;#039;s one room.) and &amp;quot;some time to get to know Ben, who sounds lovely.&amp;quot; So much for ME deciding when Ben meets the family.  When I got off the phone, Ben was looking at me strangely. &amp;quot;What?&amp;quot; I asked. &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re weird on the phone with your parents.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;What do you mean, weird?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;You get this like, little girl voice. And you look all nervous. It&amp;#039;s pretty adorable, actually.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Shut up.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;So I&amp;#039;m going to meet the family?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Unless you want to come up with a reason to leave town Labor Day weekend. I wouldn&amp;#039;t blame you.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;I would be both delighted and honored to meet your family,&amp;quot; he said, then got a mischievous twinkle in his eye. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ll be doing stand-up that Friday. You should bring them.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Oh yeah. I&amp;#039;m sure my parents would love to hear your jokes about my blowjob technique,&amp;quot; I said.  &amp;quot;There is nothing funny about your blowjob technique,&amp;quot; he deadpanned. &amp;quot;Your blowjob technique is a beautiful, sacred thing.&amp;quot; I laughed. &amp;quot;So we&amp;#039;re joking about the fact that I made fun of you on stage now?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;No. I&amp;#039;m joking about it. You&amp;#039;re just going to take it.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Fair enough. Oh hey, want to go look at apartments with me this weekend? The realtor found a couple that look promising.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Yes. Yes I do.&amp;quot; I got out my laptop so Ben could show me the apartment listings. One was right in my neighborhood. &amp;quot;Are you sure that would be a good idea?&amp;quot; I asked. &amp;quot;Moving into my neighborhood?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Why not? You don&amp;#039;t want me to live near you?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Well,&amp;quot; I began, realizing that I was about to say something stupid, and knowing that it was too late not to say it. &amp;quot;What if\u2026 things didn&amp;#039;t work out between us? Then we&amp;#039;d run into each other all the time?&amp;quot; Ben rolled his eyes. &amp;quot;Why wouldn&amp;#039;t things work out?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t know,&amp;quot; I said, starting to get defensive. &amp;quot;Sometimes things don&amp;#039;t work out. I&amp;#039;m not saying that they won&amp;#039;t, I&amp;#039;m just saying that we don&amp;#039;t know.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;I know,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;Now, I don&amp;#039;t want to get in a fight about this, so can I finish showing you these apartments?&amp;quot; The other two weren&amp;#039;t in my neighborhood, but they weren&amp;#039;t too far away, either. I noticed they were all two bedrooms, and wondered if Ben was looking at bigger apartments in case I wanted to move in at some point. Obviously, I didn&amp;#039;t ask. Being with someone you feel like you can say anything to is kind of a double-edged sword \u2013 you&amp;#039;re comfortable, obviously, but sometimes it&amp;#039;s hard to know when to just shut it. I&amp;#039;m learning, though. Slowly. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8810/bedroom-blog-082510/>