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"#OrangeHeads, just when I thought we were going to get out of SadRelationshipVille a.k.a. Gloria and Arturo in this latest episode of Orange Is the New Black, we switch to another woeful relationship: Poussey&amp;#x27;s! No, not the one with Taystee&amp;amp;#8212;though that is a bummer-in-the-summer situation&amp;amp;#8212;but rather Poussey&amp;#x27;s first love that we learn about via flashback. And then in the present we have Daya and Bennett trying to make their boo-ship work against all odds. There was seriously too much drama and too much Larry (barf!) in &amp;quot;You Also Have Pizza,&amp;quot; so let&amp;#x27;s discuss everything that went down, shall we? P.S. Check back at Glamour.com/entertainment/TV often for Orange Is the New Black recaps&amp;amp;#8212;I&amp;#x27;ll be posting as I watch the series! The Latina crew bakes cookies for Litchfield&amp;#x27;s Valentine&amp;#x27;s Day party. P.P.S. I know most of you will binge-watch this new season, but for the sake of everyone, please discuss only what happened in the episode that is being recapped, so no spoilers about later episodes in the comments section! If any spoilers are listed, we have the right to delete them. Thanks! We open with various inmates speaking directly to the camera and saying what they think love is: Aleida says it&amp;#x27;s when you smile all the time, your stomach turns in knots, and you want to have sex constantly, Sister Ingalls says love is light and acceptance, Sophia says love is horrible pain that you want again and again. Not me! When I think of horrible pain, I think of the aftermath following a drunken White Castle eating session. I can go without pain for several lifetimes. Still, I get what Sophia is saying, and I want more from her. Is it just me or has she been underused this season? Now we&amp;#x27;re in the kitchen and the Latinas are talking about Valentine&amp;#x27;s Day. Susan comes in to express some empathy about them being locked up. One of the girls give her a penis-shaped cookie as a joke and Susan shoves the whole thing in her mouth once she sees Bennett walking in the room: While Bennett and Daya talk, Aleida interrupts and gives him a list of things she wants him to smuggle into the prison. The black girls are complaining about the 30-second showers they have to take in the bathroom (remember this was Figueroa&amp;#x27;s solution to the pipes situation), and Vee is trying to convince Taystee to join custodial. We then see Poussey talk about love and head to a flashback. She lives on a U.S. Army base, has a German boo, and says that her dad promised this is the last time they will have to move. We return to Watson, Black Cindy, Crazy Eyes in custodial. Watson hates it, but Crazy Eyes says this all must be part of some bigger plan. #Duh. Larry visits Piper. She tells him that when she gets out of prison, she wants her home back. He&amp;#x27;s unsure that she will feel this way when she&amp;#x27;s free and then changes the subject. He asks her to be his mole, so he can write a story about the shady business that&amp;#x27;s going on in Litchfield. She gets pissed that he wants to use her for his own personal gain, and he&amp;#x27;s like, &amp;quot;What else am I supposed to do when you&amp;#x27;re everywhere in my life? When your sweaters and shoes are all over my house?&amp;quot; Uhhh, take that s**t down to Goodwill, trade it in for cash, and buy yourself a damn life: I mean, really. At this point, he&amp;#x27;s choosing to do absolutely nothing with himself when he should be spending his time getting a job, staring at some boobs that don&amp;#x27;t belong to the best friend of your ex-fiancee, or sexing on a piece of delectable dessert. Wow, that took me literally 10 seconds to come up with three good options. Larry is the worst.com, .gov, and .edu. Moving on. Red&amp;#x27;s at the greenhouse while one of her sons, Vasily, is sawing underground to get the manhole cover off. Her other son is keeping watch in the woods. One of the old ladies comes in, but Red manages to get rid of her quickly. Vasily gets the lid off and gives her a gym bag of stuff. Looks like Red is back in business! Yay! Pipes is telling Nicky about her woes while they are working on an electrical fuse box. Nicky offers to comfort her, but Pipes doesn&amp;#x27;t want to be one of her conquests for the Bang-Off. Nicky says that Larry may be onto something with this article because none of the money the prison gets is actually used on the prisoners. Caputo catches up with Susan, who is busy listening to the inmates phone conversations. He learns that she&amp;#x27;s single, so he invites her to come check out his band that&amp;#x27;s playing on Valentine&amp;#x27;s Day. She agrees. This is at once sweet and sad as e&amp;#x27;eryone knows that Susan is not going to give up the &amp;quot;V&amp;quot; to someone who looks like he could&amp;#x27;ve been in the supporting cast of Welcome Back, Kotter. #IJustDatedMyselfWithThatReference #ImUnder30ISwear A CO interrupts Taystee and Poussey&amp;#x27;s hang-out session in the library and informs Taystee that she&amp;#x27;s now in custodial. We go to another Poussey flashback. She and her girlfriend are hooking up when German Boo&amp;#x27;s dad walks in on them. Oh. Crap. We return to the present. Bennett arrives at work and is clearly smuggling stuff in his fake leg. Luckily, he goes through security undetected and gives the stuff to Aleida and then wishes Daya a Happy Valentine&amp;#x27;s Day. She&amp;#x27;s bummed and says she doesn&amp;#x27;t know how they will ever have a normal day. Pipes is fixing the lights and talking to one of the COs, trying to get information. Meanwhile, Boo is being a creeper and trying to hit on the girls during yoga time. Red walks in and gives the various inmates items they like, such as makeup and snacks. Red then goes back to her old crew, says they&amp;#x27;re all going to need each other soon, and gives them some items. Murphy and Norma don&amp;#x27;t take the bait and leave the room. Nicky chastises Red for trying to buy their love back. Good point, but also, I don&amp;#x27;t blame Red. She doesn&amp;#x27;t know what the hell else to do, so I think the ladies need to cut Red some slack, especially because she&amp;#x27;s bringing in top-shelf stuff like Kit Kats. If my boyfriend brings me home Kit Kats, I&amp;#x27;m pretty much like: And I have the freedom to get Kit Kats myself. Ladies, build a bridge and get over it, please. Poussey finds Vee and threatens her and says Vee is just a bully who uses lost kids to do her dirty work and when the heat comes she bails on them. Vee says Taystee will never love Poussey, especially not the way she wants. Poussey laughs it off, walks away, and looks sad. Cut to another flashback. Her dad tells her that they&amp;#x27;re being transferred back to the U.S. from Germany. He says he doesn&amp;#x27;t know why. No!!! What about German Boo? Back to the present. Pipes opens one of the electrical boxes outside. CO Maxwell enters and the two start to talk about plans for a gym. Healy interrupts and tells Pipes that he&amp;#x27;s been hearing that Pipes is being nosy lately and doesn&amp;#x27;t understand why she&amp;#x27;s asking so many questions about Litchfield when he&amp;#x27;s trying to help her with her grandma. Pipes says she&amp;#x27;s starting a prison newsletter&amp;amp;#8212;written by prisoners&amp;amp;#8212;and offers to make him editor-in-chief. He asks for some sample stories before giving his approval. Vee goes to see the girls and shows them that she successfully smuggled in tobacco in the cleanser containers. Next, we see Pipes get a Valentine&amp;#x27;s Day card from Vause. Ugh, girl bye. Next is Litchfield&amp;#x27;s Valentine&amp;#x27;s Day party. Bennett and Daya have sex in an office. Jimmy, the senile old lady, wanders outside, and Taystee surprises Poussey with a cigarette and says Vee is going to start a cigarette-selling business. Pouseey looks sad because obviously she was hoping the surprise would be something romantic. Then we go to a flashback. She heartlessly breaks up with her German boo. Oof. Post-sex, Daya thanks Bennett for the Valentine&amp;#x27;s Day card and shows it to him. Bennett says that Pornstache sent it to her, not him. At the VD party, we learn that Pipes is the one who has been interviewing some of the inmates about what love means to them. When Healy looks away, she asks about the plumbing. We follow Healy, who calls his wife, Katya, and wishes her a happy Valentine&amp;#x27;s Day via voice mail. Back at the party, Pennsatucky wants to know why the crew is ignoring her, and they say they&amp;#x27;re done with her. Whoa! Across the prison, some of the Latina crew go up to Bennett and try and blackmail him. Um, yeah, this is not going to end well. Meanwhile, Boo and Nicky agree to call it a truce after they both slept with 36 people each. 36 people?!?! I can&amp;#x27;t list 36 of my Facebook friends from memory, and these ladies have seen that many vajayjays in the matter of what? A few days? I&amp;#x27;m impressed. Susan shows up to Caputo&amp;#x27;s show along with some more of the COs, which is a bummer for Caputo because he thought it was going to be a date. We then catch up with Larry. He&amp;#x27;s carrying a bunch of items&amp;amp;#8212;I&amp;#x27;m guessing to drop them off at Polly&amp;#x27;s like Piper suggested during their fight. Polly steps out of the elevator and he kisses her: I DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS GARBAGE. And that&amp;#x27;s all I&amp;#x27;m going to say about this. Just then, we hear Polly&amp;#x27;s husband come down the hallway and they pull away. Polly&amp;#x27;s husband suggests they all go to dinner once Larry tells him that he&amp;#x27;s getting rid of Piper&amp;#x27;s stuff. Back at the prison, Crazy Eyes befriends Morello after finding the wedding invitation to Christopher&amp;#x27;s wedding that Morello stole and threw out. Aww, the two cuckoo birds found each other. Flaca and Moretza are drinking hooch and hanging out in the kitchen. They make out but stop and realize it&amp;#x27;s not for them. Next, Taystee wants Poussey to hang out, but Poussey blows her off. Then we head to another flashback. Poussey confronts German Boo&amp;#x27;s dad and says she knows he got her and her dad kicked off the base. She says she loves GB, but right before she pulls a gun out, Poussey&amp;#x27;s dad comes over and stops her. Back in the present, Caputo sings while Susan flirts with CO Luschek. Red comes over to Vee and says whatever the two of them have brewing will not end well. Pennsatucky runs outside crying, and Healy is sitting on the bench. She sits next to him, and he gives her half of his heart cookie. She hugs him. Aww. In case you missed it, click here for the recap of episode four and here for the episode five recap. What did you think of this episode? What is Vee&amp;#x27;s end game, and what do you think Daya and Bennett are going to do about their baby?"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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