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" One glance at the nearest supermarket checkout rack and it&amp;#039;s clear that our obsession with celebrities&amp;#039; love lives knows no limits. From their first meetings (at fabulous Hollywood parties or on blind dates set up by their agents) to their starry-eyed proposals and six-figure weddings, followed (inevitably, it seems) by their stormy divorces, we can&amp;#039;t get enough.   And it&amp;#039;s not just that we love hearing the juicy details \u2014 we really care about what happens to our favorite and not-so-favorite couples. Our hearts break a little when a good-seeming thing (like Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe) falls apart, and we shake our heads and think, Told you so, when a train wreck of a relationship (we won&amp;#039;t name names) meets its preordained end.   This cultural obsession with the loves of the rich and famous may seem more heated than ever in our lightning-speed Internet age, but it&amp;#039;s nothing new, says Jake Halpern, author of Fame Junkies. &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;ve always been taken with these kinds of stories \u2014 it goes back to Greek mythology, where people would follow the sex romps of the all-powerful Zeus,&amp;quot; he says. &amp;quot;Celebrities are our modern mythology \u2014 we find what they do fascinating and we draw examples from it.&amp;quot;   Which isn&amp;#039;t to say they set good examples: A third marriage at 30? Participating in a reality show that will showcase every crack in your relationship to the masses? Declaring eternal love for a virtual stranger from the cover of a magazine? Celebrities have done it all, and while they don&amp;#039;t always appear to learn from their mistakes, that doesn&amp;#039;t mean we can&amp;#039;t.  Here, the wisdom we can gather from the misfires \u2014 and, yes, the occasional triumphs \u2014 of our larger-than-life counterparts. #1: Protect Your Relationship from the Outside World Thanks to reality TV, there are countless examples of couples that have opted to share a little TMI (too much information) with the public, from basic bodily functions (hello, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson) to the pouty he-said-she-said of every little fight.  Britney Spears&amp;#039; Chaotic, which followed her romance with K-Fed from its lusty beginnings through their wedding day, sure lived up to its title, but it also could have been called Inappropriate. (Did we really need to hear her rave, &amp;quot;Our sex is soooo good&amp;quot; to a makeup artist?)   And we&amp;#039;ve all seen way too many celeb couples gush about each other in interviews \u2014 only to implode months or weeks (even days) later.   Essentially, the louder a couple shouts their love from the rooftops, the more quickly it seems to disintegrate.   &amp;quot;Certain things should be kept private, or the relationship will be destroyed,&amp;quot; says therapist Gilda Carle, Ph.D., author of Don&amp;#039;t Bet on the Prince! Celebs who over-share may believe it brings them closer to their fans, and that might be true \u2014 after all, who doesn&amp;#039;t love hearing a sweet proposal story, whether it&amp;#039;s from your best friend or your favorite actress?  But when you lay your heart open to the whole world, there&amp;#039;s nothing left that&amp;#039;s just for the two of you alone \u2014 something every relationship needs in order to survive.   So while strangers may not be lining up to read about every twist and turn in your romantic life, you can protect your love by keeping certain things under wraps, just like smart celebrities do. (Think of Julia Roberts or J.Lo, who&amp;#039;ve both had multiple relationships very publicly fall apart \u2014 but are now enjoying their current loves out of the spotlight.)   Your girlfriends don&amp;#039;t need to know what your guy said in bed last night, and your mom doesn&amp;#039;t need the play-by-play of every argument. After all, a relationship is kind of like an amusement park \u2014 it&amp;#039;s always an adventure, but it&amp;#039;s even more fun without the crowds.  #2: Don&amp;#039;t Get Blinded by Romance In interviews, Denise Richards used to rave about how then-husband Charlie Sheen showered her with flowers, jewelry, and even Manolo Blahniks, and how she knew on her second date that he was &amp;quot;the one.&amp;quot;   Meanwhile, she dismissed his troubled past \u2014 a drug overdose, a well-publicized association with a certain Hollywood madam \u2014 explaining that she didn&amp;#039;t like to have preconceived notions about people because she didn&amp;#039;t like it when people had them about her.   Here&amp;#039;s the thing: We&amp;#039;re conditioned to believe that love should hit us over the head like a thunderbolt and be punctuated with a trail of red roses. But the true lifeblood of a relationship isn&amp;#039;t the jewelry and flower arrangements, it&amp;#039;s the day-to-day mundane activities that make up a shared life.  No one&amp;#039;s saying that you shouldn&amp;#039;t cherish all the presents and romantic surprises your partner gives you. But there&amp;#039;s a difference between over-the- top romance, which can&amp;#039;t be sustained, and the sweet gestures that truly stand the test of time \u2014 such as the way Pierce Brosnan reportedly brings wife Keely Smith breakfast in bed with a single flower from their garden every day.  After all, anyone can pick out diamonds or a dozen roses, but a guy who holds your head when you&amp;#039;re sick, picks up your favorite ice cream from the store &amp;quot;just because&amp;quot; \u2014 and has a solid track record of good behavior to boot \u2014 he&amp;#039;s really the one.  #3: Steer Clear of Other Couples That Behave Badly In retrospect, perhaps Denise and Charlie weren&amp;#039;t the best double-date partners for Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora.  While dinner and a movie with a couple experiencing marital difficulties doesn&amp;#039;t necessarily mean you&amp;#039;ll end up in a real-life version of Wife Swap, remember that conduct \u2014 both good and bad \u2014 can be contagious.  &amp;quot;Couples should spend quality time with people who are living healthy emotional lives so they can bounce role modeling off of each other,&amp;quot; says Carle. That doesn&amp;#039;t mean hanging out only with people who think and act exactly like you do \u2014 how boring would that be? But while the Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock of your social circle might be great to party with on margarita night, you&amp;#039;d be wise to also find a Paul Newman/Joanne Woodward-type pair to model your romantic life after.  #4: Don&amp;#039;t Jump into Marriage Too Fast Whether we&amp;#039;re talking about Vegas mistakes ( la Britney Spears or Nicky Hilton) or ephemeral unions we&amp;#039;re still trying to make sense of (Ren\u00E9e Zellweger and Kenny Chesney, anyone?), celebrities seem more eager than the rest of us to rush down the aisle.  On the other hand, drive-through wedding chapels wouldn&amp;#039;t exist if plenty of regular folks weren&amp;#039;t also running to the altar on the double.  And while some insta-marriages do work out, they can also fall apart as quickly \u2014 and dramatically \u2014 as they came together.  &amp;quot;In the early phase of a romance, the dopamine activity in the brain goes up, making you feel high,&amp;quot; says REDBOOK Love Network expert Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of He Comes Next. &amp;quot;But relationships are eventually about how you are at your calmest.&amp;quot;   Translation: Wait until the first flush wears off a little before tying the knot. In fact, studies have shown that the closer a couple&amp;#039;s courtship is to average length (two years, four months), the more likely they are to last.   #5: Keep the Passion Alive Sometimes, celebs&amp;#039; taste for the grand gesture can actually help their love \u2014 like the way Lisa Rinna treats husband Harry Hamlin to the moves she picked up at striptease lessons.  Most of us aren&amp;#039;t as naturally dramatic or exhibitionist as your average Hollywood star, but we can all find creative ways to surprise and tantalize our partner.  &amp;quot;Just like you have to maintain your car, you have to maintain your passion,&amp;quot; says Carle. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s even more important the longer you&amp;#039;re together. The deeper your friendship, the more meaningful it becomes to explore that sexually.&amp;quot;   It&amp;#039;s also not a bad idea to acknowledge that your partner will be attracted to other women occasionally.   You don&amp;#039;t have to give each other cakes decorated with your crushes, as Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith reportedly do (The Rock and Oscar De La Hoya for her, J.Lo and Salma Hayek for him), but accepting each other&amp;#039;s little fantasies doesn&amp;#039;t have to be scary or threatening \u2014 in fact, it might just help keep you both in a sexy frame of mind, which is nothing but good for your twosome.  #6: Don&amp;#039;t Be Afraid to Work at Keeping Your Relationship Strong While it&amp;#039;s tempting to think that true love means never having to wonder, Why the heck did he do that? anyone who&amp;#039;s ever been a part of a couple surely understands that even the best partnerships require a certain amount of work.  That&amp;#039;s why we cheer whenevera seemingly perfect pair, like Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, talk openly about how they &amp;quot;need to feed&amp;quot; their relationship to keep it going strong, day after day and year after year.  &amp;quot;There&amp;#039;s no such thing as a relationship that&amp;#039;s magically right,&amp;quot; says Carle. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s only right because you worked at it.&amp;quot;   Bottom line: Unlike the rich and famous, the rest of us can&amp;#039;t run off to a secluded Caribbean island to reconnect with our honey every time the going gets tough. So it&amp;#039;s nice to know that the real essentials for making love last forever \u2014 communication, respect, laughter \u2014 are absolutely free, no red-carpet pass required. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/a299/love-lessons-ll/>