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"  During my visit to Cabo San Lucas, during which I notoriously swam with a dolphin, I also had an underwater massage a.k.a &amp;quot;aqua therapy treatment&amp;quot; at the Playa Grande Spa. When I heard the words &amp;quot;underwater massage,&amp;quot; I envisioned a massage table slightly submerged in water with a masseuse rubbing me down. Wouldn&amp;#039;t that be really freaking cool?! Well, this most certainly was not that. I don&amp;#039;t even know where to begin to describe this awkward experience that was less massage, more being coddled by my masseuse like a breast-feeding baby. The spa describes this treatment as &amp;quot;a unique water dance combining the powerful benefits of water therapy and shiatsu massage, allowing the body to move weightlessly through warm seawater while each muscle and joint relaxes.&amp;quot; Sounded pretty blissful. With my sexy new Beyonc\u00E9-inspired swimsuit on, I stepped into an outside jacuzzi that was filled with the warm seawater.  My masseuse (is that what I should call her? I&amp;#039;m not sure, but, let&amp;#039;s go with it) was wearing a long-sleeve water shirt, shorts, and water shoes and had me stand against the stone wall of the tub. She told me to close my eyes, lifted my arms forward, and then said, &amp;quot;relax.&amp;quot; The next thing I know, I&amp;#039;m being grabbed by the waist and legs and spun around slowly in the water like a mini ballerina. Patrick Swayze, is that you? Spoiler alert: There was no partially-submerged massage table. Masseuse and I were basically water-dancing with each over the course of the next hour. Her giant breasts were pressed up against my back as she spun/stretched me and massaged my neck, arms, and feet. I was confused and felt like my space was being incredibly violated. I&amp;#039;m fully aware that it was her duty to get all-up-in-my-bidness. But still, at certain moments, I felt really intimate with this woman. I tried to relax and enjoy this treatment, but I couldn&amp;#039;t. And at one point, the seawater dripped into my nose and down my throat. HOLY HELL that burned. I didn&amp;#039;t know manufactured seawater could cause so much throat discomfort. This being said, I did leave feeling oddly refreshed. While I didn&amp;#039;t particularly &amp;quot;get&amp;quot; the treatment, I feel like it&amp;#039;s probably perfect for someone who is really tense. I&amp;#039;m not. I do Bikram Yoga at least twice a week, so my Om is in check.  Have you ever had an aqua therapy session? Check out more of the wacky spa treatments I&amp;#039;ve done below: The Bird Poop Facial\u2014Yep, We Actually Tried It A Turkish Hammam Will Leave You as Smooth as a Baby&amp;#039;s Butt I Paid For a Nap and I Would Pay For Another One Want more from Dara? Follow her on Facebook and Twitter @dadeeyo. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/news/a13202/underwater-massage/>