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"  There&amp;#039;s one thing you need to know up front about Alec Baldwin: He&amp;#039;s the whole package, ladies. Really. The dark, brooding, ongoing tortured self-analysis of his entire life? Check. The edgy-sharp humor and return-the- volley wit? Check. The staggering ego mixed with self-loathing (hey, you gotta have self-loathing, right)? Check. Okay, so he&amp;#039;s gained a few pounds. But the manly girth thing works too. Trust me. We meet a few nights after he won his second Emmy for best actor for 30 Rock (&amp;quot;yeah, we fooled them again,&amp;quot; he says) in the lobby of his apartment building on Central Park West. He enters with armloads of shopping bags, wearing a black sweatshirt, his usual nerd-chic glasses, and two-day facial growth. Like I said, hot. Then he goes to his apartment to drop off his stuff, apologizing profusely for what will be a 10-minute delay. Upon his return\u2014still scruffy, but without shopping bags\u2014an adorable three-year-old boy who lives in the building is chasing him out of the elevator with his nanny in tow. At Alec&amp;#039;s instruction, the little boy blows me a kiss, and Baldwin beams. &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;s too much, this kid. Mason! Gimme five. Gimme five. See ya later, buddy.&amp;quot; Loves kids. Check. And wishes he had a lot more of them, then life intervened in a most wretched way, but we&amp;#039;ll get to that. He loves dogs, too, but doesn&amp;#039;t have any now. &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t. When I was married, my ex-wife had 10 dogs, 11 dogs. I got her down to, like, seven.&amp;quot; He will occasionally sprinkle references to his ex-wife\u2014yes, the one and only Kim Basinger\u2014into the conversation as though they split up a few weeks ago and not eight years ago.  He hails a cab and opens the door for me, then walks around to the other side, like a gentleman should. The cabbie starts to take off without him. Cleary, chivalry is uncommon, even in Alec Baldwin&amp;#039;s neighborhood. Finally in, we&amp;#039;ve gone barely two blocks when a fan pulls up beside us and yells, &amp;quot;I loved you in Red\u2014in Hunt\u2014in Hunt for Red October, man!&amp;quot;  Baldwin smiles, tensely. &amp;quot;Thank you.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t even remember the name of the movie!&amp;quot; the guy yells. &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s okay,&amp;quot; Baldwin says. &amp;quot;It was a long time ago.&amp;quot; (1990, actually.) &amp;quot;You might as well say Gone With the Wind.&amp;quot; He rolls up the window. &amp;quot;You hungry?&amp;quot; he asks. &amp;quot;Will you eat a little something?&amp;quot; And he directs the cab to 65th and Broadway.  The other night, when he won his winged statue, he told the presenter, Rob Lowe, that he wished he looked like him. Does he really want to look like Rob Lowe? A pause. &amp;quot;I just find that my life, it&amp;#039;s like, um...how do I say this? Uh, getting older is hard. Getting older is hard.&amp;quot;  And you think that&amp;#039;s a better look?  &amp;quot;He looks younger than me.&amp;quot;  Yeah, but he always looks like he&amp;#039;s 12.  &amp;quot;I know, he&amp;#039;s got that going on. And I was just being playful with him. But the thing is, I will say that, you know, you definitely, I definitely, uh, getting older is Not For Me.&amp;quot; He laughs. Hard. A year ago, he turned 50 and says it was much, much worse than turning 40. But 30 was pretty rough too. &amp;quot;Because 30, you&amp;#039;re not old, but you&amp;#039;re not incontrovertibly young anymore. In your twenties, you can write anything off. But once you turn 30, you gotta get serious about everything. So 30 was hard. Forty was not. Fifty, though...&amp;quot; You gotta love a man who talks about age like a woman. We get out of the cab and head toward the black-lacquered doors of Shun Lee, the Chinese restaurant he infamously exited to make a cell phone call to his then 11-year-old daughter that ended up being leaked to the press in the middle of his brutal custody fight with Basinger and was so ick that while it didn&amp;#039;t derail his career, it nearly derailed him. In the open-wound book he wrote about the legal battle for his girl, A Promise to Ourselves, he tells of driving to the Berkshires and thinking about &amp;quot;what little town I would repair to in order to commit suicide. What semiremote Massachusetts State park could I hike deep into and shoot myself? What bed-and-breakfast could I check into and overdose there?... When I returned to New York, the thought of jumping out the window of my apartment was with me every night for weeks.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;re going here?&amp;quot; I ask. &amp;quot;Yeah, why?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Returning to the scene of the crime?&amp;quot; He gives me a look. It&amp;#039;s not pleasant. &amp;quot;When you say `scene of the crime,&amp;#039; you&amp;#039;re referring to...?&amp;quot; Ouch. But I plow on. &amp;quot;Wasn&amp;#039;t this where you made the phone call?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Yeah. So?&amp;quot; This is getting like a very bad first date. &amp;quot;Though that message I left wasn&amp;#039;t a crime. Releasing the tape to the media, that was a crime. Look at this!&amp;quot;  I am saved by an utterly New York kind of moment: a young bride and groom\u2014he in his tux, she in her strapless wedding gown and holding her bouquet\u2014strolling hand in hand down West 65th Street.   &amp;quot;Did you really get married?&amp;quot; Baldwin asks.  &amp;quot;I remember you from TV,&amp;quot; the groom says. &amp;quot;Saturday Night Live, right?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;How old are you?&amp;quot; Baldwin asks. &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re 25?! How old is your wife?&amp;quot; She&amp;#039;s 25. Now he wants to tell them something, and I am waiting for a dissertation on the hidden evils of marriage, much like the one in his book. But no. &amp;quot;That is just great,&amp;quot; he tells them. &amp;quot;Congratulations.&amp;quot; A pause. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m gonna cry.&amp;quot; He&amp;#039;s serious.  Okay, so if you love his character on 30 Rock\u2014and really, who doesn&amp;#039;t? Who doesn&amp;#039;t adore the impossible, irascible Jack? The foil to Tina Fey, the network executive who is infuriatingly, greasily, unaccountably winning\u2014how could you not like Baldwin in the flesh?  Inside Shun Lee, as the staff dotes on him while delivering him to his booth and a few regulars wave from the dining room, he wonders if we should have invited the newlyweds to join us for dinner.  &amp;quot;What would you like? What are you hungry for?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;You pick.&amp;quot; (Did I really say that?) &amp;quot;No, I would never order for you.&amp;quot;  Then he does\u2014and it&amp;#039;s rather charming. &amp;quot;Bring us a sea bass,&amp;quot; he says. &amp;quot;She likes it spicy.&amp;quot;  We start by talking about his family. His father, in particular. We skip over the whole Baldwin-brothers-from-Massapequa saga that&amp;#039;s been recounted several thousand times and get right to the meat of things: Dad. In his book, he writes about how he fell in love with Kim because she was so much like his father\u2014she didn&amp;#039;t take shit from anyone and refused to &amp;quot;play the game.&amp;quot; His father was a high school teacher, beloved by his students, who could have risen up education&amp;#039;s administrative ranks and made a lot more money (to support six kids), but he wouldn&amp;#039;t play the game, wouldn&amp;#039;t sell out, wouldn&amp;#039;t stop doing what he loved. Alec&amp;#039;s life lessons of integrity (and not caving) came from his father. He died of lung cancer in 1983, when Alec was 25\u2014and a soap opera actor who&amp;#039;d just moved to L.A. for pilot season. (And significantly, before he met Basinger.) His father, he says, &amp;quot;found it amusing&amp;quot; that Alec\u2014who&amp;#039;d gone to George Washington University with the intention of attending law school (oh, and becoming president)\u2014had become an actor. Losing his father is still as raw and painful to him as his messy divorce and seven-year custody fight. And he sees them as intertwined.  &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s like the big thing for me is the `what if?&amp;#039; What if my dad had still been alive? And I don&amp;#039;t know what the answer is. Like, how my life might have been different. You know, it&amp;#039;s really the thing I think about most. I mean, I don&amp;#039;t know how it would be different, but I&amp;#039;m fairly confident that if he had lived longer, my life would be very different. Just in terms of advice about... [long pause] marriage.&amp;quot;  His dad died at 55. He just turned 51. That has to be a little daunting, no? &amp;quot;So where&amp;#039;d you grow up?&amp;quot; he replies.  I try to steer him back to marriage, fathers, and failure. Then he leans across the table. &amp;quot;So what do you think you want to ask me that I haven&amp;#039;t been asked 50 times already?&amp;quot;  Here&amp;#039;s another thing you should know about Alec Baldwin. He will be smarter than you. And quicker than you. Maybe it was his intense curiosity\u2014which stars almost never have\u2014when he started to ask me all the questions (and even supplied some of the answers). Such as: &amp;quot;Have you ever been married? Why do you think you&amp;#039;ve never been married? You&amp;#039;re scared.&amp;quot; Yikes! How does he know? He just met me! Or maybe it was the smoldering sexiness. But whatever it was, the dude threw me off my game. He&amp;#039;s that good. But speaking of scared...if there&amp;#039;s one thing that comes through in Baldwin&amp;#039;s book and even his conversation tonight, it&amp;#039;s that this guy is both dying to be committed again and justifiably terrified of the prospect. Would that be accurate? &amp;quot;Um, the truth is, I don&amp;#039;t know. I really don&amp;#039;t know.&amp;quot; But don&amp;#039;t you think people do what they want to do? If you wanted to be married again, you would be. &amp;quot;I think with people who have simpler lives, maybe.&amp;quot; Do you ever wish you had a simpler life? &amp;quot;Well, I think that horse is certainly out of the barn. But for people like that, there&amp;#039;s more time not so much to tend to the relationship but more time to let it breathe. Like, when you spend a lot of time working and your life is really intense, a relationship becomes like everything else. If you work hard and you really struggle, let&amp;#039;s say you make a nice income, you want to go to the nicest restaurants, you want to go on vacation to the nicest places, you want the nicest clothes. And you want the nicest relationships. You have the same attitude toward coupling as you do toward everything else: You want it to be elevated to some degree. So when you&amp;#039;re with someone, you want everything to be great. And that&amp;#039;s the pressure that you put on, and what you just can&amp;#039;t do.&amp;quot; How true. The fish comes, and we talk about his relationship now with his daughter, Ireland. They seem to have weathered the cell phone call. He flies to L.A. as often as possible to see her. &amp;quot;She&amp;#039;s older now,&amp;quot; he says. &amp;quot;She&amp;#039;s almost 14. And she&amp;#039;s got a lot going on on the weekends. And as much as sometimes she wouldn&amp;#039;t mind me flying out there...just to drive her around and drop her off everywhere, it began to get, um...It&amp;#039;s like, `Drop me off here.&amp;#039; I mean, she&amp;#039;s pleasant about it, she&amp;#039;s not, you know, ornery. She&amp;#039;s very sweet. But she&amp;#039;ll say to me, `Don&amp;#039;t bother coming out.&amp;#039; But I go at least once a month. &amp;quot;You know something? I feel completely silly saying this because it sounds so contrived, but my whole life is divided between time that I&amp;#039;m with Ireland and time that I&amp;#039;m not. Time that I&amp;#039;m not with Ireland, I&amp;#039;m busy, I keep busy. And time that I&amp;#039;m with Ireland, it&amp;#039;s just\u2014it&amp;#039;s the most relaxed, I sleep better, I&amp;#039;m happier. I&amp;#039;d do anything to have more kids. But that&amp;#039;s probably not gonna happen now.&amp;quot; Why not? &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m 51 years old.&amp;quot; But you&amp;#039;re a guy. &amp;quot;It doesn&amp;#039;t matter. I don&amp;#039;t want to be throwing the football on the front yard when I&amp;#039;m 75. I mean, I&amp;#039;m not opposed to men doing that. But I don&amp;#039;t think it&amp;#039;s gonna work for me.&amp;quot; That&amp;#039;s sad in a way. &amp;quot;It is! Do you wish you had kids?&amp;quot;  Sure. And suddenly, I&amp;#039;m stooping to a new celebrity-interview low: I&amp;#039;m showing him pictures of Joey, my puppy. For chrissakes. &amp;quot;Awww, he is really cute!&amp;quot;  Baldwin has said over and over that when 30 Rock ends, he&amp;#039;s &amp;quot;done.&amp;quot; And by that he means? &amp;quot;I would like to be done with acting on camera, in films and television.But maybe do a play every now and then.&amp;quot; Go back to Broadway? &amp;quot;Broadway or wherever. Go to Montana! I don&amp;#039;t know.&amp;quot; Or run for office? He has made it quite clear that he has flirted with a future in politics. &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s a possibility,&amp;quot; he says tonight. &amp;quot;Other people have done it; why can&amp;#039;t I? That&amp;#039;s what you have to tell yourself. One thing we have learned from Schwarzenegger is that anyone can do it.&amp;quot; This month Baldwin is starring with Meryl Streep in a Nancy Meyers comedy of middle-aged marital manners, It&amp;#039;s Complicated. He plays Streep&amp;#039;s ex-husband, who ends up vying with an architect, played by Steve Martin, to win back her affections. &amp;quot;It was hard for me to believe that I was having that role opposite her,&amp;quot; Baldwin says. &amp;quot;It was a dream.&amp;quot; So after sharing the screen with Goddess Meryl, is there anything left for you in acting? &amp;quot;Yes. I&amp;#039;d love to win a Tony Award. A Tony Award I really crave. That would have great meaning.&amp;quot; Okay, so in an ideal world\u2014 &amp;quot;I can&amp;#039;t stand questions that are prefaced `in an ideal world.&amp;#039; It&amp;#039;s the real world.&amp;quot; Okay, in the real world...you&amp;#039;d want a Tony, a wonderful marriage, and another kid? &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t think about that anymore; I don&amp;#039;t want to set myself up for disappointment. I&amp;#039;ve been in relationships where I second- guessed it and second-guessed it, and that was far worse than the ones where I dove in and I was wrong and I got out of it. Remember: no risk, no reward.  &amp;quot;After all of my fear and my inability to commit, I tell people now to go the opposite way: Commit!&amp;quot; he continues. &amp;quot;If you&amp;#039;re with someone, move in with them. If you&amp;#039;re living with them and you&amp;#039;re not sure, marry them.&amp;quot; Why? &amp;quot;Because not finding out and wondering [what if] is far worse than finding out that you&amp;#039;re wrong. Don&amp;#039;t die wondering.&amp;quot; So what kind of women do you meet? Or see? Or whatever? &amp;quot;Now? None. I mean, I had a girlfriend for seven years after I got divorced. Off and on for seven years. Aw, he&amp;#039;s really cute.&amp;quot;  He&amp;#039;s looking at pictures of my puppy again. &amp;quot;I think I&amp;#039;m frustrated because I really think a lot. I mean, I do the job I have and I like it, and I&amp;#039;m nothing but grateful for how the show is going and the reception we&amp;#039;ve got. I&amp;#039;m not fooling myself about that\u2014it&amp;#039;s a great opportunity. But I am increasingly anxious thinking about what I&amp;#039;m gonna do when this is over. I mean, sometimes I get very cynical and I get very\u2014what&amp;#039;s the word?\u2014dreamy about it. And I think, I want to marry a rich woman. And not do anything. I want to take tennis lessons everyday, go to lunch\u2014&amp;quot; You&amp;#039;d go crazy. &amp;quot;Nooo! I&amp;#039;ve worked every day of my life for the last 30 years. I haven&amp;#039;t stopped working. I would really like to marry a rich woman.&amp;quot; Really? &amp;quot;Yes! And I&amp;#039;ll just join the boards of charities and attend galas. Do I know any rich women? Am I onto any leads, you&amp;#039;re asking?&amp;quot; Actually, I wasn&amp;#039;t asking, but thanks for the info. It&amp;#039;s time to go. We wiggle out of the booth at Shun Lee. He asks if there&amp;#039;s anything else I&amp;#039;m dying to know about him. Sure. When you&amp;#039;re in relationships, are you faithful? &amp;quot;Yeah!&amp;quot; Yeah? &amp;quot;Wellllll, I mean faithful in terms of...&amp;quot; In terms of what? &amp;quot;Well, for me, it&amp;#039;s like, the minute you&amp;#039;re with someone and you&amp;#039;re feeling [being faithful] is an issue, the relationship&amp;#039;s over. That&amp;#039;s the quickest way you find out that it&amp;#039;s not gonna work.&amp;quot; But about Kim: Really, what happened? In some ways, they were the golden couple, the &amp;#039;90s Brangelina. &amp;quot;I never saw it that way.&amp;quot; But he will say this: &amp;quot;There are people who are really solo acts and are better off on their own.&amp;quot; I don&amp;#039;t think you&amp;#039;re one of those people.  &amp;quot;No. But I think I was married to someone like that. And I do not mean any anger or any disparagement in saying that. I don&amp;#039;t think marriage is for Kim. She&amp;#039;s very Katharine Hepburn\u2013like.&amp;quot; Do you still say your prayers every day? &amp;quot;Yes. I pray for my daughter every day. She lives in L.A.! Of course I pray for her.&amp;quot;  We walk out to the curb in front of Shun Lee. The newlyweds are long gone, but in the distance, a Mister Softee truck is ringing its bells as Baldwin delivers a parting soliloquy. &amp;quot;Uh, listen,&amp;quot; he begins. &amp;quot;I know that having these discussions with people like yourself and people like me, it&amp;#039;s always a bit of a game.&amp;quot; Yep. &amp;quot;But the truth is, what I&amp;#039;m doing now is a hole that I fell into. In a very Lewis Caroll\u2013esque kind of way. I never planned to do this. I went to school to go to law school. I went to GW. The acting thing came very late in the game. And I never dreamed I would work. And I sort of worked. And I never dreamed I would keep going. And I kept going. I never dreamed I&amp;#039;d do it for 30 years, and I have. And now I have a little bit of time left. By the time I finish the show, I&amp;#039;ll be 53, 54 maybe. And I&amp;#039;ll have some time to do maybe one other thing with a few years of commitment. And the business has changed. This is not a business you stay in for your whole life. I&amp;#039;m not Henry Fonda, where it&amp;#039;s gonna be, you know, doing On Golden Pond with my daughter. That&amp;#039;s not gonna happen. There are other things that I want to do....&amp;quot; And your point is? &amp;quot;This is my Rich Woman package. Get a rich woman. She&amp;#039;s out there, you know, moving money to different bank accounts.&amp;quot; Oh, please. You really need a rich woman? &amp;quot;As I get older, I think I will.&amp;quot; For what? &amp;quot;A lot of European travel, a lot of cruises. I mean, I really denied myself the last 30 years. I haven&amp;#039;t had a lot of luxe living. But now I&amp;#039;m gonna slow down, and it&amp;#039;s time for, you know, some private planes, some floorthrough suites, you know.&amp;quot; So you want, like, an older rich woman? &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t really care. As long as we get along. As long as she likes the same strength coffee I do. It&amp;#039;s the little things.&amp;quot; And what strength is that? &amp;quot;Strong.&amp;quot; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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