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"Dear Single John, There&amp;#x27;s this great guy in a band I&amp;#x27;ve met three times before over six weeks. We really hit it off and I went to visit him last weekend. We ended up hooking up in his hotel room, but we don&amp;#x27;t know when we&amp;#x27;ll ever see each other again. He&amp;amp;#8217;s on tour right now. When we&amp;#x27;re together, it&amp;#x27;s like no one else matters. I asked him if it was a one-time thing, and he said that he doesn&amp;#x27;t want it to be, but it&amp;#x27;s too hard to keep something together when you&amp;#x27;re gone 300 days out of the year. Is he just feeding me a line, or could he possibly be interested but scared to make the commitment? Is a relationship out of the question? I&amp;#x27;m not trying to tie him down or anything&amp;amp;#8212;I just want to be a part of his life. --Not Another Groupie I&amp;amp;#8217;m reminded of one of my favorite quotes from To Catch a Thief, where, after she&amp;amp;#8217;s seduced him, John Robie (Cary Grant) tells Frances Stevens (Grace Kelly) &amp;amp;#8220;Not only did I enjoy that kiss last night, I was awed by its efficiency.&amp;amp;#8221; Let me ask: Why does it have to be one or the other--a relationship or just a one-time hookup? Maybe it&amp;amp;#8217;s exactly what he says it is: not a one-time thing. I don&amp;amp;#8217;t want to burst any bubbles here, and I don&amp;amp;#8217;t think I am, but guys in bands get a lot of action. Like Errol Flynn action. Like Mohammed Ali action. Like Archie with a working jalopy action. Unless you had been together for years before he went on the road, I wouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t count on this being a relationship. It doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t mean you can&amp;amp;#8217;t have fun, or enjoy yourself when he&amp;amp;#8217;s around, just that it&amp;amp;#8217;s probably unrealistic for you to expect more, unless he puts it out there. If you only really want to be &amp;amp;#8220;part of his life&amp;amp;#8221; then it sounds like you have what you want. Just don&amp;amp;#8217;t let these hookups get in the way of pursuing what you want in your own location. Don&amp;amp;#8217;t be the girl sitting at home pining over a rocker while he&amp;amp;#8217;s in Texas somewhere, creating more yous to leave behind. Have you ever dated a guy in a band? Do you think occasional hookups can be a good idea, or are they always bad news? Have a question for Single John? Submit it here. More on Hooking Up at Glamour.com 10 Most Embarrassing, Baffling, Just Plain Insane Sex and Love Situations Twitter Presents 17 Things You Say Before Sex How Do You Refer to Your Sex Life? Is This New Word Over the Line? Photo: Thinkstock "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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