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" You know what&amp;#039;s a big pet peeve of mine? When someone feels like they need to nudge me to do something that I was going to do anyway.  Sarah went to Chicago to visit her family over Thanksgiving weekend. My plan in her absence was to spend some time over at Jane&amp;#039;s to see if they were managing and if they needed any help, and possibly have a second date with Zach (the latter didn&amp;#039;t happen because we couldn&amp;#039;t get our schedules in sync). Right before Sarah left, we had this conversation:  Sarah: So I volunteered you to help out over at Jane&amp;#039;s this weekend.  Me: \u2026  Sarah: Why do you look mad? She just had a baby!  Me: Yeah. And I was already planning on going over there. I don&amp;#039;t need you to &amp;#039;volunteer&amp;#039; me.  Sarah: Well, I didn&amp;#039;t know what you were planning to do.  Me: \u2026  It reminds me of when I was a teenager and my mom would be on the phone with my grandmother, and she&amp;#039;d make me talk to her, and stand off to the side and coach me. &amp;quot;Ask your grandmother how she&amp;#039;s feeling,&amp;quot; she&amp;#039;d whisper at me. Or, &amp;quot;Tell your grandmother you miss her.&amp;quot; And then she&amp;#039;d hover over me to make sure I followed her script, even though I was perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation with my grandmother without her assistance.  Anyway, I ended up spending the majority of Saturday and Sunday at Jane&amp;#039;s. David was kind of at a loss -- he knew things had to get done but he didn&amp;#039;t know what. Jane usually takes care of keeping the household running smoothly, but she was too tired and overwhelmed to give him any direction. So I gave him a to-do list, did all of the laundry except for the dirty cloth diapers (I have my limits), bought groceries and made them a bunch of food for the week.  As I was getting ready to leave on Sunday afternoon, Jane grabbed my hand.  &amp;quot;I know you didn&amp;#039;t want to be here this weekend,&amp;quot; she said. &amp;quot;But I appreciate it.&amp;quot;  I rolled my eyes. &amp;quot;Jane, I had every intention of being here this weekend. I just didn&amp;#039;t clear it with Sarah before she scheduled me.&amp;quot;  Jane laughed. &amp;quot;She&amp;#039;s a little overbearing, isn&amp;#039;t she?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s putting it mildly,&amp;quot; I said, annoyance in my voice.  &amp;quot;It comes from a good place,&amp;quot; she said. &amp;quot;Which I&amp;#039;m sure you know. But that doesn&amp;#039;t mean you have to let her steamroll over you all the time.&amp;quot; After Jane said it, she looked nervous, like she wasn&amp;#039;t sure if she had stepped over an invisible line. I was suddenly reminded of our trip to Texas, when Jane had chastised Sarah for lecturing me.  &amp;quot;I know,&amp;quot; I admitted. &amp;quot;But it&amp;#039;s hard to reverse bad friendship habits after so many years. Sometimes it seems easier to just maintain the status quo, you know?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;I know,&amp;quot; she said, gently. &amp;quot;Thanks for all of your help this weekend. It means a lot to me to have a friend like you. Oh, God. I&amp;#039;m crying. I&amp;#039;m sorry, K. I&amp;#039;m just\u2026 tired, and I-&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s okay,&amp;quot; I insisted, trying not to appear too shocked to see Jane lose it. &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;ve had a busy week.&amp;quot;  Hm, maybe Tex and Meg have the right idea with their no-kids policy. I know I&amp;#039;ve been having baby fantasies, but the reality seemed a bit too real. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8379/bedroom-blog-113009/>