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"  Ashley and I strutted into the Waldorf at approximately 6:57 p.m. I froze when the elevator doors opened and I saw the sign welcoming us to the ballroom: The Leukemia &amp;amp;amp; Lymphoma Society&amp;#039;s 3rd Annual Charity Ball.  I felt Ashley nudge me from behind. &amp;quot;Go,&amp;quot; she whispered. There was a crowd of people behind me, waiting to get off the elevator.  I stepped off robotically. &amp;quot;Do you see this?&amp;quot; I gestured to the sign.  Ashley&amp;#039;s lips moved as she read. &amp;quot;Isn&amp;#039;t this the organization you ran the half with?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Yes! And the one that Justin, Elizabeth, and Peter actively support. Is this the only freaking charity in New York or something?!&amp;quot;  Ashley rubbed her palms together. &amp;quot;This is about to get sooo good.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Not funny,&amp;quot; I said. &amp;quot;This is like my personal holy trinity coming to screw me\u2014Justin, Elizabeth, and Peter, all in the same room.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;You don&amp;#039;t even know if they&amp;#039;ll be here,&amp;quot; Ashley pointed out.  &amp;quot;Josie!&amp;quot; I heard Martin&amp;#039;s voice from across the room. He came towards me, his arms outstretched, a drunken smile on his face. I felt an animal urge to slap it off. Instead I forced myself to smile back. You signed up for the show and all that came with it! I reminded myself.  He gave me two kisses, Euro style. I didn&amp;#039;t anticipate the second kiss because we don&amp;#039;t live in Europe and Martin is from California, and there was a close call where we almost locked lips.  &amp;quot;This is my friend, Ashley,&amp;quot; I said, trying to recover.  &amp;quot;My dear,&amp;quot; Martin kissed Ashley&amp;#039;s hand. What was up with him? Had he been doing coke in the bathroom with Elizabeth?  &amp;quot;You both look marvelous,&amp;quot; he said to us, and I believed him because we did. Ash was wearing this cool DVF mini with a cut out pattern around the neck, and I was in what Ashley had deemed my heartbreaker dress. &amp;quot;You should never take that off,&amp;quot; she said when she saw me. Alas, that would only be possible if I was permanently coming off the stomach flu, essentially eschewing pizza forever, and ain&amp;#039;t nobody got time for that kind of discipline.  Martin pointed out the place card table and Ashley and I found our names and table numbers. I scanned the table for name cards for Justin, Elizabeth, and Peter, but I didn&amp;#039;t see any. I assumed I would be sitting with Martin, but the bigwig producers were at their own table. Kevin was at our table though, with his agent as his &amp;#039;date.&amp;#039; We&amp;#039;d both been instructed not to bring a real date to the event, since we were supposed to be an item IRL. I couldn&amp;#039;t imagine anyone would make note of whether or not we&amp;#039;d brought dates since the show hasn&amp;#039;t even aired yet, but those were the rules.  After Kevin introduced us to his agent, I asked him if he was as nervous as I was. &amp;quot;Have you seen me?&amp;quot; Kevin gestured to himself. &amp;quot;The bored MILFs are going to be all over this.&amp;quot;  I punched his shoulder. &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re false advertising, you know.&amp;quot;  Kevin winked at me.  The server came by and asked if anyone wanted a cocktail before dinner. I ordered a martini to try and calm my nerves.  &amp;quot;Jos, don&amp;#039;t freak out,&amp;quot; Ashley said.  &amp;quot;Telling someone not to freak out has the adverse affect, you know.&amp;quot; I sighed. &amp;quot;Which one of them is it?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Justin,&amp;quot; Ashley whispered. &amp;quot;5 O&amp;#039;Clock.&amp;quot;  I pretended to yawn and stretch until I spotted him. He didn&amp;#039;t appear to be with anyone, and I didn&amp;#039;t recognize anyone at his table. He was far enough away that he wouldn&amp;#039;t be able to see me unless he was looking for me, which I doubt he was. Obviously, he would see me up on stage, after dinner had been served.  I picked through the four courses, barely listening to the speeches being made. I was just too nervous\u2014was anyone really going to bid on me? I couldn&amp;#039;t imagine anything more humiliating than standing up there on stage, getting zero bids, while one of my exes was in the crowd. I ordered a second martini and it was like hope in a glass\u2014but maybe I would get a ton of bids? And Justin would be like, &amp;quot;Man, I shouldn&amp;#039;t have taken her for granted?&amp;quot; or whatever. Not like I wanted to revisit things with him, I just wanted him to regret treating me the way he did. Everyone feels this way about a certain ex, right? Right?! And with this rambling interior monologue, I realized, crap, I&amp;#039;m a little drunk. I grabbed a dinner roll and slapped some butter on it in an attempt to absorb the vodka.  Before I knew it, dessert was being served, and that was my cue to head back stage. Ashley wished me luck, stopped me from standing, blotted my t-zone with her napkin, and proclaimed, &amp;quot;Now you&amp;#039;re ready.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;I can&amp;#039;t believe I&amp;#039;m doing this,&amp;quot; I said to Kevin, as we made our way backstage.  &amp;quot;You think too much, Josie,&amp;quot; Kevin said. &amp;quot;Just have fun with this. We don&amp;#039;t know anyone out there any way.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Speak for yourself.&amp;quot; I told him about Justin, who he had briefly met that night in my apartment.  &amp;quot;That douche canoe?&amp;quot; Kevin snorted. &amp;quot;Forget about him. You&amp;#039;re the one up on stage, he&amp;#039;s the one in the audience. That says something about where you&amp;#039;re going in life.&amp;quot;  I hung on to those words when it was my time to step onto the stage. A date with me came with an amazing meal with a very famous chef, and that made me feel better. I could see people wanting to bid on this chef; my company was just the bonus, if you liked short blonde girls with a weird sense of humor.  Kevin went first, and ended up getting a bid for $7,000. Kevin&amp;#039;s chef wasn&amp;#039;t even as good as my chef, so maybe I could do even better than that.  I was introduced as the &amp;quot;star&amp;quot; of the upcoming show, Social Media, even though Kevin is more of the &amp;quot;star&amp;quot; and I&amp;#039;m just a supporting role, but fine, I&amp;#039;d take it. I was glad the lights were so bright that I couldn&amp;#039;t see the audience. I was also glad that my dress had a busy print to camouflage the heinous boob sweat I was surely sporting.  The first bid came in at $500. $500! The next came in at $750. On and on this went until we topped out at $5,500.  &amp;quot;Going once, going twice,&amp;quot; the auctioneer paused, dramatically. &amp;quot;Sold!&amp;quot;  So I didn&amp;#039;t do as well as Kevin, but $5,500 was a respectable chunk of change. I felt a rush as I stepped off the stage\u2014I&amp;#039;d done it, and I hadn&amp;#039;t keeled over from embarrassment. The only thorn left in my side was discovering who had bid on me\u2014I couldn&amp;#039;t see any of the bidders from the stage, and hopefully he wasn&amp;#039;t some weirdo who got his rocks off from sniffing feet or something.  Kevin and I we were supposed to wait backstage until the auction was over, and then we would meet our highest bidders. We hung out in the green room, drinking champagne and eating cupcakes, for the next hour. Kevin&amp;#039;s bidder came in first\u2014a bleached blonde Russian woman with enormous fake breasts. She smiled a predatory smile at Kevin, and it was all I could do not to laugh. You aren&amp;#039;t getting in his pants, lady.  She was trailed by a bald, heavyset guy. My bidder, I thought. Instead, he handed me a note. Making nice with a few big wigs. Meet me at the front in fifteen. You&amp;#039;re worth every penny of that $5,550. I miss you, J. J. Justin was my bidder.   I wanted to tell Kevin, but he was otherwise occupied at the moment. I decided to go find Ashley then go to the bathroom and freshen up (AKA dab my underboob area with like 50 paper towels) before meeting Justin outside. I meant what I said\u2014I didn&amp;#039;t want to revisit things with him, but I was curious about what he had to say. Also, we had to go on this date together at some point.  But the dining room was swarming with people, and once I got to our table, I couldn&amp;#039;t find Ashley. She had my clutch too, with my phone inside of it\u2014I&amp;#039;d left it with her before I&amp;#039;d gone backstage, because I didn&amp;#039;t know if I&amp;#039;d have a place to stash it back there.  I couldn&amp;#039;t find Ashley in the bathroom either, and almost 15 minutes had gone by. I decided to go meet Justin at the front. I had Ashley&amp;#039;s number memorized and I could just text her from his phone and tell her where to meet me.  I took the elevator to the ground floor and exited onto Park Avenue. There was a crowd of about 30 people, all looking for crowds. I didn&amp;#039;t see Justin, but I heard someone call my name behind me.  I turned. Peter was standing there.  Read the rest of this post (up now!) at lovesexpizza.blogspot.com, where author Jessica Knoll will continue to write about Josie&amp;#039;s adventures. You can also follow her on twitter @JessMKnoll.  Pre-order your copy of Afterburn by Sylvia Day, Cosmo&amp;#039;s first book in our Red-Hot Reads series from Harlequin here.  Want more from Josie? Follow her on Twitter @BedroomBlog "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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