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" IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PAIN. You can throw out your back so severely that you want to cry every time you tie your shoes, but all you&amp;#039;re ever gonna get for your invisible anguish is geriatric jokes. A spasmodic disk will never, ever get you a sympathy lay, no matter how much you whimper. Trust me. Recently, however, I had the good fortune of getting smacked in the face. Now, don&amp;#039;t worry about what it was that struck me -- knuckles, the butt of a gun, a very-irresponsibly-left-open kitchen cabinet. That&amp;#039;s irrelevant. The fact is, when I woke up the next morning, I had a dark, purplish crescent beneath my left eye. The injury hurt a lot less than a torn ligament or a little internal bleeding, but it looked as if I&amp;#039;d been through hell. That&amp;#039;s the beauty of an ugly shiner. Men see it and give you respect: That ring around the eye is proof that you&amp;#039;re not simply willing to fight, you&amp;#039;re willing to lose -- and that makes you just plain old crazy. (Even a tough guy knows better than to go messing with a madman.) And women see it and lavish you with affection. For them, that sad semicircle signifies an impossible fantasy -- the rugged male with a sensitive soul. Rugged because he&amp;#039;s willing to throw down, sensitive because, well, he obviously sucks at it. A little Florence Nightingale action can&amp;#039;t be far behind. Of course, the best thing about a black eye is that it lingers. After the pain has faded, the evidence -- and the perks -- remain for weeks. Longer if you apply a little makeup. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/health/a2554/esq1203-dec-shiner/>