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"Unhappy New Year! One of Smitten&amp;amp;#8217;s very loyal readers has sent us a dilemma&amp;amp;#8212;and it&amp;amp;#8217;s a big one. Click through to read her particular problem&amp;amp;#133; Our reader writes: On one really late and drunken night about a year and a half ago, I confessed to my best guy friend that I had feelings for him. He immediately proclaimed that he didn&amp;amp;#8217;t. We had a pretty nasty, drunken fight about it, but we discussed it a few days later with clear minds and dismissed the whole thing. At that time, I really thought that my feelings were a matter of convenience (I was single and had been for a while, and he is attractive, blah blah blah). Fast forward to this past November, when I started really thinking about my feelings and realized that I really do have strong feelings for him. On New Year&amp;amp;#8217;s Eve, I got the courage to say something to him. He didn&amp;amp;#8217;t respond at all, so I immediately knew what that meant for me&amp;amp;#8212;it was a no go. He texted me a few days later and told me that I felt like a sister to him and he is not attracted to me in that way. To save the integrity of our friendship (we&amp;amp;#8217;ve been best friends for nearly 10 years now), I told him that I would keep my feelings to myself and that I didn&amp;amp;#8217;t want it to affect our relationship as BFFs. Two days later, he went on the radio discussing what had happened with a couple of talk show DJs! I felt hurt, betrayed and humiliated. I confronted him and we got into a huge fight where he said a lot of hurtful things. He doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t seem to understand why I would be so hurt that he aired our dirty laundry. He also seems to think that I&amp;amp;#8217;m to blame for this whole thing and that I never should have said anything knowing how he felt a year and a half ago. I&amp;amp;#8217;ve never been so hurt in my whole life and if this were any other guy, I would cut him out of my life and never talk to him again. He wants to &amp;amp;#8220;go back to the way things were,&amp;amp;#8221; but I just don&amp;amp;#8217;t know if I can. Now, I&amp;amp;#8217;m not only heartbroken, but have been devastated by one of the people I care about most in the world. I told him that I need some time to think, but that we need to have a real face-to-face conversation and get it all out in the air. It&amp;amp;#8217;s hard for me to even think that a 10-year friendship could be over just like that, but I don&amp;amp;#8217;t know what to do. My girl friends who don&amp;amp;#8217;t know him personally say to just let him go, the ones who do know him think I should salvage the friendship. I don&amp;amp;#8217;t know, is it possible to remain friends? Help!!! And here&amp;amp;#8217;s what I think: It&amp;#x27;s possible to remain friends but&amp;amp;#133;do you want to? I probably wouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t schedule a face-to-face talk with him&amp;amp;#8212;it sounds like it&amp;amp;#8217;s bound to get nasty and hurtful. Who cares whether he understands your side right now? He&amp;amp;#8217;ll think about it someday and feel really bad. But, I have never been in your situation, and I don&amp;amp;#8217;t know all the details, so here&amp;amp;#8217;s a little Socratic method for you, and hopefully you will arrive at an answer about whether to remain friends: 1. Do you enjoy being around him right now? I mean, he broadcast the situation on air (was he respectful and anonymous, or mocking?), which made you uncomfortable. You wrote that he said hurtful things to you when you were already down. Is he really that awesome? 2. Do you want to be friends with someone, no matter how great, with whom you have to &amp;amp;#8220;keep your feelings to yourself&amp;amp;#8221;? You had to &amp;amp;#8220;dismiss the whole thing&amp;amp;#8221; once already&amp;amp;#8212;how did that feel? Is it healthy to swallow your feelings because they weren&amp;amp;#8217;t reciprocated? The feelings are still valid. You still have to exist while feeling them. You still matter. Wouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t you prefer to be around someone with whom you can share all your feelings? 3. Is he compassionate? Why does he want you to feel &amp;amp;#8220;blame&amp;amp;#8221; in addition to feeling rejected? Is he sensitive at all to you? 4. Do you deserve to be miserable, just for the sake of having him in your life? Does he deserve to have you in his life? 5. Is this a beneficial friendship? He&amp;amp;#8217;s drama (you fight); he causes pain. Maybe you were voted &amp;amp;#8220;Most Inseparable&amp;amp;#8221; in the high school yearbook, but I&amp;amp;#8217;ll tell ya, 10-year-friendships come and go every day. I once dumped a 20-year-best-friendship for being toxic&amp;amp;#8212;and I feel so much healthier. 6. Don&amp;amp;#8217;t you think this situation is unfair (and he&amp;amp;#8217;s not making it easy)? Do you see that it&amp;amp;#8217;s all on you&amp;amp;#8212;whether YOU can you get rid of or forget your feelings (something huge) for the sake of friendship (something kinda common)? Be honest, is that too much to bear? Is he asking too much of you or of any human&amp;amp;#8212;so that he can conveniently go back to &amp;amp;#8220;the way things were&amp;amp;#8221;? 7. Do you truly love him? You&amp;amp;#8217;ve been friends with him for 10 years, but it hasn&amp;amp;#8217;t been a decade-long, continuous crush, has it? Are you sure the feelings you&amp;amp;#8217;ve had lately don&amp;amp;#8217;t have anything to do with, as you say, you and your situation (e.g. being suddenly single, or bored, or spending a lot of time with him)? I would take some time away from him and see how you feel in a month or two. He can always be your friend later, but I wouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t force a friendship while you still have hurt feelings. Why put all that pressure on yourself? And hang around with someone who has caused you pain? And anyway, you need to think about whether you truly have feelings for him, because my guess, nay my hope, is&amp;amp;#8212;and this should make you feel better at some point&amp;amp;#8212;that you don&amp;amp;#8217;t feel for him like you think you do (notice you used the word &amp;amp;#8220;think&amp;amp;#8221; up there about your &amp;amp;#8220;feelings&amp;amp;#8221; and you also used the word &amp;amp;#8220;realized&amp;amp;#8221;). Perhaps you don&amp;amp;#8217;t need to be as heartbroken as you currently feel and you can get over this faster. If you don&amp;amp;#8217;t believe me about just deciding you like someone, take it from the novelist Martin Amis: &amp;amp;#8220;In [Jane Austen&amp;#x27;s] Emma&amp;amp;#133;Emma Woodhouse realised, in the novel&amp;amp;#8217;s key scene, that she was in love with [Mr. Knightley]. Realised&amp;amp;#8212;for in the world of Emma you could be subconsciously in love.&amp;amp;#8221; (A Pregnant Widow, p. 158) You may have convinced yourself you were in love. Hopefully you can realize you don&amp;amp;#8217;t love this person or that you can live without him and the pain he is inadvertently causing. One thing I do know: none of my friends cause me pain (granted, none of them are guys&amp;amp;#8212;coincidence?). Good luck and stay strong! We believe you have it in you! What do you think our reader should do? Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Did you remain friends? More Ways to Get Glamour Visit ShopGlamour.com for cute stuff starting at just $10! 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