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" As the bride had told me, I would be seated at a table with the only single guy at her wedding, who in the world of the orchestrated wedding ecosystem might as well have been the only single guy in New York. Tom* was bald or had shaved his head to be bald, but either way, maybe, just maybe, he reminded me of my ex. He had on a crisp suit and an expensive-looking tie. And he was sitting right next to me. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m Tom,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;And you are?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m ... let&amp;#039;s see.&amp;quot; I picked up my place card and studied it. &amp;quot;Today, I am Jen Doll.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;You need a card to tell you that?&amp;quot; I leaned in and lowered my voice. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m a wedding crasher.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;But what if the real Jen Doll shows up?&amp;quot; he asked. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve taken care of that. Sometimes unfortunates get in the way. I&amp;#039;m not proud of it, but I&amp;#039;ve got to eat.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s right, food. What are you ordering?&amp;quot; I&amp;#039;d already decided. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m having the chicken. It comes with mac and cheese.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;And I&amp;#039;ll have the steak,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;We can share, Jen Doll.&amp;quot; There is something that occurs at weddings when you are single and you happen upon another who&amp;#039;s single and you find each other moderately attractive and tolerably pleasant. Two such people might decide that for the night, they are better off together than alone. We&amp;#039;ve all heard the great wedding legend: the tale of someone who knows someone who met his or her someone at just such an event. If it happened to &amp;quot;someone,&amp;quot; it could happen to you too. Let us call this pairing the wedding insta-couple. Being alone at a wedding can be terrifying, but the promise of finding love at one is the opposite. Think of how many movies depict a female character who hires or bribes a guy to be her wedding date because she can&amp;#039;t stand to go alone for fear of humiliation or perhaps because her ex will be there. These plots are silly, but there&amp;#039;s a kernel of truth to them. There are times when we don&amp;#039;t feel like being alone, and a wedding is likely to be one of them. In the movies, the couple who connect at a wedding frequently fall in love and end up getting married themselves. This is a real American fantasy, even if the majority of its examples live in Hollywood, not reality. That evening, after Tom gave me bites of his steak and I moved pieces of my chicken to his plate, we walked around together as if we&amp;#039;d been dating for years \u2014 as if we, too, might soon head down an aisle. He had his arm around me, and we introduced each other to people we knew. &amp;quot;How did you meet?&amp;quot; they&amp;#039;d ask, and we&amp;#039;d say, &amp;quot;At the dinner table!&amp;quot; And everyone would laugh at our adorable couple antics. I thought, Hey, I could get used to this. Later, we walked to the bar where everyone converged for the after-party. In contrast to the brightness of the previous venue, it was dark there, even a little ominous. By that time, I was pretty drunk, as were most of us, and things had taken a turn with my &amp;quot;wedding husband&amp;quot; too. Was he now flirting with a waitress? It appeared so. Was he talking to that other single woman at the wedding? Yes. Had this all been just a game to him? I confronted him, interrupting his conversation with a girl I did not recognize. &amp;quot;I want to leave,&amp;quot; I said. &amp;quot;Well, silly, then you should go,&amp;quot; he told me. The girl yawned and left. I persisted. &amp;quot;You should come with me.&amp;quot; I knew I shouldn&amp;#039;t have said it, but I wasn&amp;#039;t ready for our twosome to be over yet. Maybe our insta-coupling had legs? He glanced at his watch. &amp;quot;All right, I guess,&amp;quot; he conceded, and we hailed a cab. In my studio apartment, we kissed for a while, then he looked at his watch again. &amp;quot;I better go. It was great to meet you, Jen Doll ... or whoever you are.&amp;quot; Then he left. I sat there, stunned and stung. Who did he think he was? What a jerk, pretending to be part of a couple when it served him, then dropping the act when it didn&amp;#039;t. I sulked for a while, and then the realization hit, piercing my wedding- and wine-based stupor: It had been an act ... for both of us. My desire to be a twosome may have been legitimate, but our coupling (and the rejection I felt) wasn&amp;#039;t real at all. Tom was a person I hardly knew. The person I did know was myself. And I knew that when I was ready to be with someone, it wouldn&amp;#039;t be simply because he was the only single guy at the wedding. The next morning, I woke up alone in my own bed, happily single yet again and hogging the blankets and pillows with abandon. I did not have to be concerned about a stranger next to me and what he wanted to do about brunch. I felt relieved. He hadn&amp;#039;t been the one. He was just one. Wedding Season Survival Tips What I&amp;#039;ve learned from being a guest at nearly 30 weddings 1. Practice your option to regretfully decline. Here&amp;#039;s a freeing thought: You don&amp;#039;t have to go to every wedding to which you&amp;#039;re invited. Choose wisely, factoring in your budget and vacation days. Just because you don&amp;#039;t go doesn&amp;#039;t mean your friendship is doomed. 2. Don&amp;#039;t complain \u2014 commit! You&amp;#039;re going, so enjoy! Upgrade your room, splurge on spa treatments, buy a dress that you&amp;#039;ll wear again. This can be a special event for you too. 3. Break the rules. Hate the bouquet toss? Hide in the bathroom. Want to hook up with a handsome guest? Hook up with a handsome guest! Modern weddings allow for all sorts of options. 4. Don&amp;#039;t break all the rules. Do not hook up with the groom ... or a married man ... or the father of the bride. Come on. You know this. 5. Remember it&amp;#039;s just a day. It, too, shall pass. Forget any drama, and focus on having a great time celebrating love and commitment between two people you love, because that&amp;#039;s what a wedding is really about. This article was originally published as &amp;quot;My Wedding Hookup&amp;quot; in the June 2014 issue of Cosmopolitan. Click here to get the issue in the iTunes store! Order a copy of Save the Date here. RELATED: The Secret Life of Marrieds: Paul and Jessi 10 Signs It&amp;#039;s Not a Date 18 Adorably Cheesy Things Every Bride Obviously Wants Photo credit: Fox Searchlight Pictures "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a6694/wedding-hookup/>