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"  A while back, a friend of mine started seeing a new guy. She confided in me that she couldn&amp;#039;t wait to have sex with him. He&amp;#039;d been dubbed &amp;quot;best lover ever&amp;quot; by a mutual acquaintance, and my friend was eager to see if he lived up to his reputation. He didn&amp;#039;t. He was too sentimental, my friend said. Too tender. He held her face and stared into her eyes and kissed her deeply and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. Which is all well and good for some women, absolutely. My friend, though, wanted neck-biting, hair-pulling, butt-smacking passion. And in her mind, &amp;quot;Best Lover Ever&amp;quot; was just too boring\u2014and terrible at taking direction or picking up on her hints. No matter how much she tried to rev up the action, he always brought it back to the sweet stuff. The takeaway here isn&amp;#039;t that you should go all Neanderthal on the next woman you sleep with. Rather, it&amp;#039;s that good sex is about the connection you have with your partner. It&amp;#039;s about working together instead of doing the usual thing that&amp;#039;s worked for you or for your partners in the past. Some women like sex rough and crazy, and others like it gentle and sweet. Most of us, though, like it all sorts of ways, and those preferences can change depending on all sorts of factors\u2014the time of the month, the time of the day, what we ate, whether we&amp;#039;re feeling stressed or sad or happy or playful. Your job is to figure it out. If you want to be labeled &amp;quot;Best Lover Ever&amp;quot; by the next girl you sleep with, the key is to pay attention and communicate. Notice her energy, notice how she reacts physically and emotionally to your moves, notice if certain words excite her, or if certain touches make her shrink away. When in doubt, ask yes or no questions\u2014Does this feel good? Do you like this? Want it harder? Want me to add a finger? Can I pull your hair? Can I smack your ass? Am I the best lover ever, or what? (No, actually, don&amp;#039;t ask that.) For more tips like these, download CFG: Cosmo For Guys on your iPad. Everything you need to know about women, straight from the source. Xo, Carolyn   Get More Sexy Insight: Her Secret Sex Fantasies News Flash, Not All Women are Relationship Obsessed "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a3681/what-it-means-to-be-good-in-bed/?click=rel>