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" Published (with a poster) in the September 2010 issue      Let me start with the accent, because it&amp;#039;s a work of art. Sort of a female version of Al Pacino in Scarface, it deserves its own Lloyd&amp;#039;s of London policy. It&amp;#039;s like Buster Keaton&amp;#039;s deadpan face, like Snooki&amp;#039;s tan. And it&amp;#039;s real. Or sort of real \u2014 its true and fictional versions have fused, and Sofia&amp;#039;s no longer sure. &amp;quot;I was watching this home video from when I was twenty years old. And my son says, &amp;#039;Listen to you!&amp;#039; &amp;quot; (Sofia pronounces this &amp;quot;Lee-sohn to you.&amp;quot;) &amp;quot;He says, &amp;#039;Your English is perfect. I mean, a little accent but not this insanity.&amp;#039; He told me, &amp;#039;You&amp;#039;re the only person who has lived fifteen years in a country and the accent gets worse.&amp;#039; &amp;quot;  I&amp;#039;m hearing Sofia&amp;#039;s accent live and in person at a caf\u00E9 in downtown New York. She greeted me here with a double-cheek kiss (we&amp;#039;d never met), wearing a black shirt, one shoulder revealed. She&amp;#039;s drinking coffee \u2014 Colombian, of course. She was born thirty-eight years ago in the coastal city of Barranquilla.  Sofia is on hiatus from ABC&amp;#039;s Modern Family, the best sitcom to debut last year. She plays Gloria Delgado-Pritchett, a Latina mom in tight tops and altitudinous heels who unleashes tirades on her son&amp;#039;s soccer coach and who is married to a rich guy twice her age. And who is, by the way, totally lovable. Sofia&amp;#039;s a tweeter (sample: &amp;quot;...muchos besos y abrazos!!!!!&amp;quot;), so I thought I&amp;#039;d ask her sixty-three thousand followers for questions. The problem? A recent snafu wiped out all her cell-phone data and she can&amp;#039;t figure out how to log on to Twitter. &amp;quot;Something happened in space,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s what the T-Mobile guy told me.&amp;quot;   As a backup, I ask Esquire&amp;#039;s Twitter followers to send in their thoughtful queries. Such as this one: &amp;quot;What do you think of people staring at your boobs all day?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Ay, but they don&amp;#039;t,&amp;quot; she says, laughing. (She is, by the way, a frequent and fantastic laugher \u2014 as well as a great and generous winker.) Not that she&amp;#039;s unwilling to discuss said boobs. At one point, Sofia says, she considered breast reduction. Luckily for men&amp;#039;s magazine readers and ABC executives, her mom talked her out of it, saying, &amp;quot;God is going to punish you if you cut them.&amp;quot;  Someday she may tweak her eyes a bit, but she&amp;#039;s sworn off major surgical overhauls. &amp;quot;L. A. is crazy. The women all look the same now. That thing with the cheeks. Like Madonna. Who do they think they&amp;#039;re fooling? It doesn&amp;#039;t make them look young. You end up looking like a freak.&amp;quot;  Twitter: According to Wikipedia, her dad worked in the meat industry in Colombia, a big red-meat-loving country. What&amp;#039;s her favorite cut of beef?   &amp;quot;Actually, I haven&amp;#039;t eaten red meat for fifteen years. Because when I came to the U. S., the meat tasted really funny to me.&amp;quot;  Sofia arrived in Miami with its funny-tasting beef at age twenty-three. She&amp;#039;d been at dentistry school when she was spotted walking on a Colombian beach in a G-string, which led to a Pepsi ad and modeling gigs. She married young, had a son, and divorced. She left Colombia for fear of violence \u2014 her older brother had been murdered in a botched kidnapping. In Miami, she hosted a series on Univision \u2014 a Fear Factor \u2014 like game show that paid people to, for instance, jump out of helicopters naked.  Twitter: &amp;quot;Since you were raised a devout Catholic in Colombia, do you find the shallowness of Hollywood hard to handle?&amp;quot;  Sofia says she no longer practices a strict Catholicism; her religious life is more about thanking God. &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t think God cares if I wear nail polish or not. I don&amp;#039;t think that&amp;#039;s a deal breaker for him.&amp;quot;  Also, presumably, God is okay with hair dyeing. Because Sofia is a natural blond. &amp;quot;If you see my family, you wouldn&amp;#039;t believe it. Everyone looks like they&amp;#039;re Polish. Blond with blue eyes. But I wasn&amp;#039;t getting any jobs in L. A. They were confused. They have this stereotype that Latin people have to look like Salma Hayek. The minute I made my hair dark, then they believed that I am Latina.&amp;quot;  Twitter: &amp;quot;What qualities do you look for in a man?&amp;quot;   She says it&amp;#039;d be nice if they could dance. &amp;quot;Latin guys dance. American guys don&amp;#039;t dance. That&amp;#039;s a big difference.&amp;quot; On the other hand, American guys &amp;quot;cheat less than Latin men. I think they take \u2014 how do you say when you make a deal with somebody? ... Commitment. They take commitment more seriously.&amp;quot;  Sofia has reportedly dated Enrique Iglesias, Luis Miguel, and, briefly, Tom Cruise. Right now, she&amp;#039;s with a strapping businessman named Nick Loeb who recently ran (unsuccessfully) for Florida&amp;#039;s state senate.  Twitter: &amp;quot;Are you playing Smurfette in the upcoming Smurfs movie?&amp;quot; No. She&amp;#039;s playing a perfume-company executive. But Smurfette will definitely be in the movie. (Related: My favorite tweet of Sofia&amp;#039;s is a photo of two Smurf dolls in the missionary position with the caption &amp;quot;What are they doing????!!!!!!!&amp;quot;) All of a sudden Sofia&amp;#039;s got to go. She has only a day left in New York before flying back to L.A. to see her son, now nineteen years old. He&amp;#039;s named Manolo. After a character in Scarface. Really? Sofia laughs.  So many more Twitter questions. Could she stay a while longer? She laughs again. &amp;quot;What, are you going to write a whole issue about me?&amp;quot; Wouldn&amp;#039;t be the worst idea. WATCH EVERY WOMAN WE LOVE VIDEO IN HD &amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;gt; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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