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" What&amp;#039;s really going on in other couples&amp;#039; bedrooms? We were dying to know, and we knew you were, too. So we got the scoop from more than 2,500 women in our redbookmag.com sex survey. Read on for the no-holds-barred results (and a few sexy ideas you might want to try!).  What&amp;#039;s the Frequency? Overall, most of you are pretty pleased with your sex lives \u2014 of those who currently have a partner, 64 percent rate your satisfaction level 3 or 4 out of 5, and 14 percent say it&amp;#039;s a thrilling, couldn&amp;#039;t-be-better 5. But as happy as you are, you&amp;#039;d still like more. A hefty majority (65 percent) of you wish you were having sex more often \u2014 nearly a quarter say a lot more often \u2014 while only 4 percent would like to have sex less often. The number one reason you&amp;#039;re not getting it on as often as you&amp;#039;d like? You&amp;#039;re too tired, say 46 percent of you. Women with children under 18 at home are also worried about the kids seeing or hearing (19 percent).  How Often Do You Have Sex? 35% Once or twice a week. 5% Once a day \u2014 at least! 25% Three to six times a week. 19% Two or three times a month. 10% Once a month or less. 6% I don&amp;#039;t have a sex partner right now.  How often would you like to have sex? 43% Three to six times a week. 24% Every day. 26% Once or twice a week. 5% Two or three times a month. 2% Once a month or less.  You Tell Us....What&amp;#039;s the main thing keeping you from having more sex?  &amp;quot;My husband is an early bird and I am a night owl. He crashes out around the same time our three kids go to bed, and I end up staying up doing housework and paperwork. If only I could get him to take a nap when he comes home from work!&amp;quot; \u2014Kath, 42  &amp;quot;I work full-time, I&amp;#039;m married, and I have a 1-year-old son, and at the end of the day I am tired and all I want to do is get the baby to bed so I can take a relaxing shower or bath and go to bed!&amp;quot; \u2014Lisa, 24  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;d love to be having more sex, but I&amp;#039;m ashamed to say I don&amp;#039;t like my body right now.&amp;quot; \u2014Michelle, 34  &amp;quot;There just aren&amp;#039;t enough hours in a day to take care of work, the house, the pets, the daughter, and the husband. (Notice how he comes last!)&amp;quot; \u2014Kathy, 42  &amp;quot;I think it&amp;#039;s resentment from working all day and then coming home to dishes, meals, laundry, homework help...&amp;quot; \u2014Paula, 35  &amp;quot;My boyfriend is always too tired or not into it. I thought it was the girl who got out of it by complaining that she was tired, not the guy!&amp;quot; \u2014Jill, 25 You Tell Us...When are you most likely to be in the mood?  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m most likely to be in the mood after having a relaxing time, such as a night out. I&amp;#039;m also more likely when it&amp;#039;s not late at night. I get worried about not getting enough sleep and don&amp;#039;t feel like using that valuable time for sex!&amp;quot; \u2014Kim, 32  &amp;quot;When my hubby and I share special time together \u2014 watching a movie, walking while holding hands, just a complete connection with lots of affection.&amp;quot; \u2014Janice, 48  &amp;quot;I am a very visual person, so any time I see something that reminds me of sex \u2014 sometimes it&amp;#039;s something as simple as a picture of a good-looking man \u2014 I&amp;#039;m in the mood right away. There is also certain music that will put me in the mood quickly.&amp;quot; \u2014Chris, 45  &amp;quot;Any time I see my husband as the individual he is. Sometimes I think we forget that we are each separate people. When I see him lost in conversation, entertaining, and just being himself, I want to drag him into the bedroom.&amp;quot; \u2014Kellie, 34  &amp;quot;Being outside enjoying nature makes me feel especially close to my husband, and that closeness needs a venue for expression.&amp;quot; \u2014Janie, 49  &amp;quot;I like to have sex after a busy, productive day at work. It&amp;#039;s a great stress releaser and an excellent way to unwind.&amp;quot; \u2014Holly, 44  Something to brag about: 43% of you think your sex life is better than average. Only 17% say it&amp;#039;s worse than average.  Men Answer Your Secret Sex Question: Do you care how great the sex is, or are you just happy you&amp;#039;re having sex?  The men we asked were pretty evenly divided on this question \u2014 after all, quality and quantity both have their benefits. One guy summed it up well: &amp;quot;When you&amp;#039;re married, you already have that strong sexual connection with someone, so sex is guaranteed to be good. Quantity \u2014 maintaining and keeping that connection \u2014 becomes more important.&amp;quot; \u2014Todd, 36  You Tell Us....How has being married affected your sex life?  &amp;quot;Being married is great, but it does set up some bad habits. Sex can become mechanical. You tend to get too comfortable. The romance sometimes heads south. My husband tends to focus only on two areas \u2014 honk! honk! here and rub! rub! there.&amp;quot; \u2014Michelle, 34  &amp;quot;Marriage has only made my sex life better. I feel so safe and comfortable with him that it makes it easier for me to experiment and try more things.&amp;quot; \u2014Kellie, 34  &amp;quot;I have much more sex now than when I was single \u2014 and more orgasms! Especially since I turned 40, they have gotten so much longer and more intense.&amp;quot; \u2014Holly, 44  &amp;quot;It takes more work sometimes to keep it hot, but in the end it&amp;#039;s worth it not to have to worry about the who, what, where, when, and why of dating. And most of all, to know that I&amp;#039;m cherished and that we&amp;#039;re in it together for the long haul.&amp;quot; \u2014Julie, Who Wants Sex More? So much for the myth that men are always up for action \u2014 about a third of you say that your guy wants sex more than you do, but nearly a quarter of those in relationships say that you&amp;#039;re the one who wants it more often. Don&amp;#039;t take it personally \u2014 often, it has nothing to do with you or your relationship. &amp;quot;For men, self-esteem and sexual desire are intimately connected,&amp;quot; says REDBOOK Love Network expert Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of He Comes Next. &amp;quot;Low desire may simply be work- or stress-related.&amp;quot;  What happens when one of you is in the mood and the other isn&amp;#039;t? According to you, your guy is much more likely to just say no \u2014 26 percent say your guy turns you down completely when he&amp;#039;s not in the mood, while only 11 percent do the same to him. You&amp;#039;re more likely than he is to give it a whirl anyway (69 percent vs. 59 percent) or compromise with oral sex or another just-for-him treat (20 percent vs. 15 percent).  You Tell Us....How does it make you feel when you&amp;#039;re in the mood for sex and he&amp;#039;s not?  &amp;quot;If I am in the mood and he is not, it hurts my feelings. I feel like I&amp;#039;m not turning him on. I feel bad when he&amp;#039;s in the mood and I&amp;#039;m not, so I do it anyway.&amp;quot; \u2014Michele, 42  &amp;quot;I am in the mood more often than my husband is \u2014 chalk it up to my healthier living \u2014 so I find myself being disappointed when I need a man&amp;#039;s touch and I&amp;#039;m not getting it. My vibrator comes in handy then, but it&amp;#039;s not the same.&amp;quot; \u2014Kath, 42  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ll admit it \u2014 I get really annoyed when my husband doesn&amp;#039;t want to have sex. I don&amp;#039;t take it personally, but I still want it when I want it! I also tend to get annoyed with myself when I&amp;#039;m not in the mood for sex. More often than not I make myself be in the mood, but sometimes you&amp;#039;re just not into it.&amp;quot; \u2014Michelle, 26  Are You Faking It? When it comes to orgasms, many of you think honesty is the best policy \u2014 35 percent say you&amp;#039;ve never faked one. However, one third of you say you fake it either occasionally or regularly (32 percent say you used to fake it, but don&amp;#039;t anymore). Why? Of those who have faked orgasm, 60 percent say it was to make him feel good (35 percent say you did it \u2014 or do it \u2014 just to get sex over with).  Hey, give your guy some credit, says Anita Clayton, M.D., a psychiatrist and author of Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy. &amp;quot;Men want to please their partners, and they can&amp;#039;t do it if you&amp;#039;re not honest about what works.&amp;quot;  You Tell Us....When was the last time you faked orgasm, and why did you do it?  &amp;quot;I faked it last night because it was lasting forever and I just wanted to go to sleep.&amp;quot; \u2014Lisa, 42  &amp;quot;I have only faked once. Honestly, I felt so bad because my husband was trying so hard to satisfy me; I just couldn&amp;#039;t seem to reach orgasm and it was starting to feel like work. But I admitted it to him afterward, and he told me he&amp;#039;d rather know if I wasn&amp;#039;t going to, instead of me faking.&amp;quot; \u2014Becky, 29  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve never faked an orgasm because I figured if I did, then we would never figure out what works and what doesn&amp;#039;t.&amp;quot; \u2014Tonya, 28  Uh-oh! 4% of you have never had an orgasm with a partner.Whoa! 13% of you have had five or more orgasms in a single sex session. What Gets You Going? Okay, okay \u2014 we know what you&amp;#039;re really curious about is what everyone else is doing behind closed bedroom doors. For starters, your favorite position is him on top (39 percent), followed by you on top (28 percent) and from behind (25 percent). For most of you (55 percent), sex usually lasts between 10 and 30 minutes, with another 22 percent saying it lasts 30 minutes to an hour. What about foreplay? With less than half an hour for sex, you&amp;#039;ve gotta be efficient: Three to 10 minutes of foreplay is the norm, say 41 percent of you; another 31 percent get 10 to 20 minutes of warm-up.  Sexy Statistics: How adventurous are you? Here&amp;#039;s how many of you have tried these sex-life boosters: 80% Sexy lingerie. 60% Using a sex toy/vibrator. 50% Looking at pornography. 41% Anal sex. 28% Tying each other up during sex. 21% Blindfolding each other during sex. 16% Dressing up in costumes/role-playing.  You Tell Us....What have you tried to spice things up in bed?  &amp;quot;I love to dress up in costumes complete with wigs. My guy comes to the door and is greeted by someone very sexy and different. I even disguise my voice!&amp;quot; \u2014Louise, 46  &amp;quot;We have tried role-playing and we also talk dirty to each other on the phone during the day.&amp;quot; \u2014Kellie, 34  &amp;quot;We give each other full-body massages with light touches and rubs, barely grazing those intimate spots but not full-on touching them. It is very sensual and relaxing and makes you crave more.&amp;quot; \u2014Jamie, 27  &amp;quot;Just different positions, and of course my husband loves porn \u2014 I don&amp;#039;t mind it either. I also have a collection of toys that we use together. He loves to watch me use them.&amp;quot; \u2014Holly, 44  &amp;quot;I bought a red lightbulb for my bedside table lamp for mood lighting. We sometimes use blindfolds \u2014 that can really enhance the experience.&amp;quot; \u2014Chris, 45  &amp;quot;We never have sex in the bedroom. It&amp;#039;s always someplace else in the house, in the car, wherever we can.&amp;quot; \u2014Kathy, 42  &amp;quot;Getting the TV out of our bedroom, putting on more mood music, and lots of candles.&amp;quot; \u2014Cabrielle, 36  &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;ve tried a little light bondage by tying each other up with some ties or using a blindfold. And we used to sneak off and rent a hotel room for a few hours so we could enjoy ourselves in a Jacuzzi without worrying about the kids walking in on us.&amp;quot; \u2014Shannon, 36  Oral Opinions Here&amp;#039;s a question you often ask us: Do other women enjoy performing oral sex? According to our poll, you&amp;#039;re pretty evenly divided: 49 percent think it&amp;#039;s a real turn-on; 40 percent say you do it just for him \u2014 but don&amp;#039;t love it yourself; and 11 percent really dislike it. On the other hand, most of you appreciate receiving oral: 33 percent say it&amp;#039;s your favorite thing to do in bed; 56 percent say you enjoy it \u2014 but enjoy other things just as much; and only 11 percent say you&amp;#039;d rather skip it. But surprise, surprise \u2014 you&amp;#039;re more likely to never receive oral (11 percent) than to never perform it (7 percent). Hey, that&amp;#039;s no fair!  Men Answer Your Secret Sex Question: What makes for great oral sex?  &amp;quot;The key is variation: Mix up the pace, while switching between shallow and deep throat motions.&amp;quot; \u2014Stan, 45  &amp;quot;Be consistent. In the beginning, variety and creativity is great, but once you figure out the right combination, speed, and pressure, stick to one rhythm until the end.&amp;quot; \u2014Philip, 33  &amp;quot;Maintaining eye contact is one of the hottest moves a woman can make during oral sex. It&amp;#039;s more intimate and is nonverbal confirmation that she&amp;#039;s enjoying it as much as you are.&amp;quot; \u2014Dave, 28  &amp;quot;Attend to the head and the shaft, but don&amp;#039;t forget the balls. It&amp;#039;s often overlooked, but a very sensitive hot spot.&amp;quot; \u2014John, 30  &amp;quot;The element of surprise. I&amp;#039;ve been married for 15 years, and oral sex is sometimes the last thing I&amp;#039;m expecting. When she suddenly pushes me down on the bed out of the blue, it&amp;#039;s a great rush.&amp;quot; \u2014Brendan, 44  &amp;quot;Being hands-on. For women who don&amp;#039;t like giving oral sex, with the right hand motions, you actually don&amp;#039;t have to use your mouth that much.&amp;quot; \u2014Todd, 36  How Are Those O&amp;#039;s? Congratulations! Fifty-one percent of you say that you reach orgasm every time or nearly every time you&amp;#039;re with your guy. (Another 31 percent say you orgasm half to three-quarters of the time.) That doesn&amp;#039;t mean orgasm is a sure thing \u2014 when asked how easy it is for you to climax with your guy, on a scale of 1 to 5, 31 percent of you say it&amp;#039;s just a 3, while only 19 percent say it&amp;#039;s a 5. Only 15 percent say you can always peak from intercourse alone, while 21 percent say you never can. On the other hand, when asked how easy it is for you to reach orgasm by yourself, almost half of you said 5, or, &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s a sure thing.&amp;quot; Yet 22 percent of you say you never masturbate at all. That&amp;#039;s a shame, considering that masturbating is not only fun \u2014 it can actually help your partnered sex life. &amp;quot;Research shows that women who masturbate have better sexual response in all areas \u2014 more orgasms, less pain, even more desire,&amp;quot; says REDBOOK Love Network expert Laura Berman, Ph.D., author of The Passion Prescription.  Sexy Statistics: What&amp;#039;s the easiest way for you to reach orgasm? 23% of you said oral sex. 18% Manual stimulation during intercourse. 11% Intercourse alone. 11% Using a vibrator. 9% Masturbation. 27% All of the above. 1% I&amp;#039;ve never had an orgasm.  Sweet! 19% of you say you still make out with your partner \u2014 without taking it further \u2014 &amp;quot;all the time.&amp;quot; (But 31% say you haven&amp;#039;t done it since you were first dating.)  Men Answer Your Secret Sex Question: Do you fantasize about other women?  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m going to sound hopelessly corny, if not a downright liar, but during sex (or while alone) I only fantasize about my wife. Real scenes are fresher, and better to replay in my mind.&amp;quot; \u2014John, 38  &amp;quot;If I&amp;#039;m having difficulty keeping my focus during sex, whether it&amp;#039;s due to job stress or fatigue, I think about random girls I&amp;#039;ve seen on TV. A hot \u2014 but brief \u2014 image revives me so I can keep going.&amp;quot; \u2014Tom, 40  &amp;quot;I love my girlfriend, but sometimes in the homestretch, I think of Salma Hayek. It intensifies the finish.&amp;quot; \u2014Sam, 30  &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t think about other women when I&amp;#039;m with my girlfriend. But when I&amp;#039;m alone, sometimes I fantasize about former girlfriends. The scenarios feel like new, but better, because I&amp;#039;ve actually lived them before.&amp;quot; \u2014Dave, 28  &amp;quot;At any given time, the male brain is a library of sexual images we&amp;#039;ve encountered throughout the day, or even years. It can be a momentary flash of the cute checkout girl, or a sexy movie scene we watched years ago. Sometimes during sex, those images creep into your mind. But it just adds to the excitement.&amp;quot; \u2014Brendan, 44  You Tell Us....What do you think other people would be shocked to learn about your sex life?  &amp;quot;I think most people would be surprised that as quiet and reserved as I am, I&amp;#039;m quite passionate in the bedroom.&amp;quot; \u2014Glynis, 43  &amp;quot;I have never given oral sex to my fianc\u00E9 until he orgasms. He gives me oral sex almost every time we have sex, and I finish. But I just can&amp;#039;t seem to bring him to the finish line by giving him oral sex.&amp;quot; \u2014Jean, 26  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve never gotten naked in the light in front of my husband.&amp;quot; \u2014Kim, 29  &amp;quot;What would most likely shock my female friends, given the way they talk, is that I enjoy giving my husband oral sex.&amp;quot; \u2014Kathy, 46  &amp;quot;While I&amp;#039;m more dominant in a lot of areas of our life, my husband is totally &amp;#039;the boss&amp;#039; in the bedroom.&amp;quot; \u2014Donna, 45  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve never had an orgasm and have given up trying...for the time being.&amp;quot; \u2014Jill, 25  &amp;quot;I want to have a threesome with another woman.&amp;quot; \u2014Jan, 38  &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;re newlyweds but we only have sex once a week for about three minutes.&amp;quot; \u2014Kelly, 34  &amp;quot;The sound of other people having sex turns me on.&amp;quot; \u2014Brittany, 32  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m almost 30 and I&amp;#039;ve never had sex.&amp;quot; \u2014Stefanie, 28   &amp;quot;My husband and I enjoy anal sex \u2014 and role reversal \u2014 using a strap-on.&amp;quot; \u2014Stacey, 37  &amp;quot;How rarely we have intercourse, but that we use other methods to achieve satisfaction.&amp;quot; \u2014Cheryl, 44  &amp;quot;I can go hours with just breast play and achieve multiple orgasms from it.&amp;quot; \u2014Judy, 54 "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/sex/advice/a296/what-you-are-ll/>