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" By Sunday morning, I was finally feeling well enough to leave my apartment. That turkey chili left me toe up.  I asked Nina and Ashley if they would go shopping with me to find a dress for the charity auction. I&amp;#039;d been given a plus one, and I briefly contemplated inviting Grady before realizing how weird that would be. Instead, I made Ashley and Nina flip a coin to see who got to eat a free dinner at the Waldorf and watch me awkwardly pimp myself out. It was a surprisingly hot ticket, and Ashley was thrilled when she nabbed it.   &amp;quot;Can I bid on you?&amp;quot; she asked.   &amp;quot;I beg you to,&amp;quot; I said.   &amp;quot;Great. I can spare forty dollars.&amp;quot;   I&amp;#039;d been texting with Grady on and off since he left my apartment. He recovered around the same time I did, and he didn&amp;#039;t seem to be harboring any resentment towards me, which was nothing short of a miracle because he was completely within his rights to. He even asked me to see a movie on Monday night, which I agreed to do with gusto. I&amp;#039;d had a lot of spare time on my hands in the last couple days, and I&amp;#039;m not proud to admit this, but I&amp;#039;d spent it stalking Peter on Facebook and Instagram, digging for any clues that he may be single now (I found nothing). I know I just had a freak out about the prospect of us getting back together, but I was sick and bored and if I&amp;#039;m being totally honest with myself, I still want Peter to want me. It didn&amp;#039;t escape me that part of why I was so excited to go out with Grady was because I was feeling passed over by Peter, once again, and I was looking for validation and Grady could provide that. But what do I do? Not hang out with a perfectly nice guy who I suspect is hung like a horse just because I have issues? I guess that&amp;#039;s exactly what I should do, huh? Ugh.   Nina met me at Bloomingdales around lunchtime. Ashley said she would have to catch up with us later because she had to work.   &amp;quot;On a Sunday?&amp;quot; I asked.   &amp;quot;Yeah, I&amp;#039;ve been really busy lately,&amp;quot; she said, a bit defensively.   Nina and I found nothing in Bloomingdales, so we decided to go into Soho and check out some of the boutiques there. I rarely shop in Soho, mostly because I find the small, upscale shops intimidating. But the checks for the show had cleared, and I was feeling a little like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman\u2014I have money to spend here, people!   I ended up finding this gorgeous, floral printed dress at the Tibi shop. Normally, I would only buy a Tibi dress if it was on sale, but Nina convinced me to just go for it.   &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;ve been shopping for hours and I&amp;#039;m starving,&amp;quot; she whined.   &amp;quot;So is this about me deserving the dress or you needing lunch?&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;Obviously about me needing lunch!&amp;quot; she said.   So I bought it. I could hardly believe I did it. But you know what? I felt really good when I walked out of the store. Like I&amp;#039;d arrived or something. I would always cherish this dress because it&amp;#039;s the first &amp;#039;big&amp;#039; thing I&amp;#039;ve bought with my own money, and that&amp;#039;s a pretty cool feeling.   There was a wait at every brunch spot in Soho, so Nina and I decided to walk east, over to Bowery, where the path is a little more beaten. We were just rounding onto Lafayette when Nina grabbed my arm and stopped me.   &amp;quot;Look,&amp;quot; she whispered. Ashley was on the corner, kissing a guy who looked old enough to be her father.   I looked at Nina, my mouth agape. &amp;quot;Who is that?&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;Her boss,&amp;quot; Nina said. &amp;quot;Her married boss.&amp;quot;   In an instant, the kiss was over and Ashley&amp;#039;s boss turned away from us to walk in the other direction. Ashley turned towards us. When she saw us standing there, her hand went to her mouth. She didn&amp;#039;t move, so Nina and I approached her.   &amp;quot;Ashhhh,&amp;quot; Nina said.   &amp;quot;Don&amp;#039;t, okay?&amp;quot; she was staring at the ground and her cheeks were burning red. &amp;quot;I already know what you&amp;#039;re going to say. But he&amp;#039;s separated, okay? They&amp;#039;re getting a divorce.&amp;quot;   I put my hands up. &amp;quot;Hey, I&amp;#039;m in no place to judge.&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;How old is he?&amp;quot; Nina demanded.   &amp;quot;Forty-five,&amp;quot; Ashley said.   &amp;quot;Phew,&amp;quot; Nina grinned. &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s not completely old balls.&amp;quot;   Ashley didn&amp;#039;t smile. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s not funny, you guys. We&amp;#039;re in love. This is serious.&amp;quot;   Hoooo-boy. We convinced Ashley to join us for lunch. Once we had bloodies in front of us, Ashley opened up about how it had all gone down. &amp;quot;We had this work dinner,&amp;quot; Ashley said. &amp;quot;And we shared a cab home. I knew he&amp;#039;d been going through something with his wife\u2014her attorney had been calling him a lot. But he told me the whole story that night, and we ended up kissing.&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;When was this?&amp;quot; I asked.   &amp;quot;About three months ago,&amp;quot; Ashley said.   &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;ve hidden this from us for three months?&amp;quot; Nina squawked.   &amp;quot;Because I knew you guys wouldn&amp;#039;t approve!&amp;quot; Ashley said, looking pointedly at me. I had to bite my lip to keep from pointing out how she had been the one to get all sour over the fact that I&amp;#039;d hooked up with Justin when he was just &amp;quot;seeing&amp;quot; his ex. How she had told me I was better than that. I guess she made the exception because her boss is legally separated?   &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s not necessarily about him being married,&amp;quot; Nina said.   &amp;quot;Legally separated,&amp;quot; Ashley stressed.   &amp;quot;Whatever. It&amp;#039;s more\u2014he&amp;#039;s your boss. Do your co-workers suspect anything? What if you get a rep as the girl who sleeps with her boss?&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s why we&amp;#039;re trying to keep it quiet,&amp;quot; Ashley said. &amp;quot;Listen, I really don&amp;#039;t want to talk about this anymore. Can you respect that?&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;Will you promise me something, though?&amp;quot; I asked.   &amp;quot;What?&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;That you&amp;#039;ll look for a new job,&amp;quot; I said.   &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s already happening,&amp;quot; Ashley said.   We changed the subject after that. I still can&amp;#039;t believe that Ashley has been having this secret affair for the last few months. If this doesn&amp;#039;t have disaster written all over it, I don&amp;#039;t know what does. At least it&amp;#039;s not my disaster for once.   On Monday, William called me into his office.   &amp;quot;Close the door behind you,&amp;quot; he said. I did as I was told, my stomach seizing up at the solemn tone of his voice. Something was definitely up.   &amp;quot;Is everything okay?&amp;quot; I took a seat in the chair in front of his desk.   &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s been better,&amp;quot; he said.   &amp;quot;Okay.&amp;quot; I swallowed.   &amp;quot;Did you schedule a lunch for me with Judy Darton?&amp;quot; I felt like throwing up, even though I&amp;#039;d done plenty of that in the last week. Judy Darton was one of the executives on the top floor, and yes, I had scheduled a lunch for her and William\u2014and I&amp;#039;d totally forgotten to put it on William&amp;#039;s calendar.   &amp;quot;I did,&amp;quot; I said. &amp;quot;And I completely forgot to put it on your calendar. I am so sorry.&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;Josie, this is not good,&amp;quot; William said. &amp;quot;Judy called me from the restaurant. She thought I stood her up. Do you understand that when you screw up, it makes me look bad?&amp;quot;   Don&amp;#039;t cry, don&amp;#039;t cry, I told myself. &amp;quot;I do,&amp;quot; I said. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve just been so overwhelmed with the show. I have no excuse for myself. I promise you it won&amp;#039;t happen again.&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;Well, which is it?&amp;quot; William demanded, loudly. &amp;quot;Either you have no excuse for yourself or you&amp;#039;re too overwhelmed? I worried this show might go to your head. Just because you&amp;#039;re going to be on TV doesn&amp;#039;t mean you can shirk your responsibilities with me.&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;Of course,&amp;quot; I agreed. &amp;quot;I wouldn&amp;#039;t ever want you to think this job isn&amp;#039;t my first priority. It is.&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;Josie, I know Megan and I told you that eventually you would just be able to assist just one of us. But the truth is I don&amp;#039;t think our arrangement is going to change any time soon. We simply don&amp;#039;t have the budget to hire a second assistant. If you can&amp;#039;t handle this, we&amp;#039;ll have to find someone else who can.&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;William, I can handle this.&amp;quot; I forced my voice to come out strong, even though on the inside I was shaking like a leaf.   William just looked at me. It was the longest thirty seconds of my life. A thin film of sweat broke out on my lip and I desperately wanted to brush it away, but I couldn&amp;#039;t with William staring me down like that. Finally, he said, &amp;quot;Alright. Get out of here.&amp;quot;   I didn&amp;#039;t even go back to my desk. I went straight to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall and cried like a sissy little girl. It wasn&amp;#039;t just that one incident with William either\u2014Megan had yelled at me last week for forgetting to give her an important message. Megan had said the same thing about the show, and clearly her and William had spoken about me. The ice I was on was thinner than Lindsay Lohan&amp;#039;s old lips. I couldn&amp;#039;t lose this job\u2014I&amp;#039;d finally found something that I liked, that I was good at, and I was with a company that I saw a future with. I made a promise to myself that I was going to buckle down and throw myself into work over the next few weeks. I had to prove to William and Megan that I could handle this.   I collected myself and went back to my desk, where I cancelled my plans with Grady. I was going to stay at work late, and get ahead on my coverage on a pile of manuscripts Megan and William had handed off to me.   Grady wanted to reschedule plans for Tuesday night, but I couldn&amp;#039;t because of the charity auction. Grady had to work the rest of the week, and I have the Hamptons house this weekend.   &amp;quot;How about I just call you next week when I&amp;#039;m back?&amp;quot; I said.   We agreed to do that. And maybe it was better any way\u2014a week or so to focus solely on work, without a guy on the back burner, may do me some good.   ED NOTE: Sad news, Cosmo girls\u2014the last bedroom blog entry for Cosmopolitan.com will be posted on Aug. 22. The author Jessica Knoll is moving on from Cosmopolitan to another publication. However, Josie&amp;#039;s adventures will continue on her own blog. We will provide the link. Start following Jess on Twitter @JessMKnoll to get a head start on what&amp;#039;s to come for Josie.  Pre-order your copy of Afterburn by Sylvia Day, Cosmo&amp;#039;s first book in our Red-Hot Reads series from Harlequin here.  Want more from Josie? Follow her on Twitter @BedroomBlog "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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