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"  1. Age 1 &amp;amp;#150; 4 What are toes? 2. Age 5 &amp;amp;#150; 9 I love not having any clothes on! Why can&amp;amp;#146;t I walk around naked outside? Why do I have to wear this dress? Yes, take a ton of embarrassing pictures of me prancing around the house butt-ass-naked! I&amp;amp;#146;m the queeeeeEEEEEN. 3. Age 10 &amp;amp;#150; 13 Every time I take my clothes off I see some new weird thing that has only vaguely been explained to me. I guess this is why my mom left that Your Body Is Changing, Girlfriend! Now Go Be A Woman! book on my bed and we never spoke of it again. Why do things have to change? Also STOP CALLING THEM BREAST BUDS. I&amp;amp;#146;m confused. 4. Age 13 &amp;amp;#150; 16 How can Jaime Goldberg just like, pirouette around the locker room naked when the rest of us are doing the patented teenage girl change-without-showing-any-private-body-parts shuffle? Is it because her name has an &amp;amp;#147;I&amp;amp;#148; in the wrong place? Her body isn&amp;amp;#146;t weird and lumpy like mine. I think I&amp;amp;#146;ve seen her boobs more than I&amp;amp;#146;ve seen my own boobs. 5. Age 17 &amp;amp;#150; 18 Mike has never seen me totally naked but he has been pawing at my bra for the last 40 minutes so I think it&amp;amp;#146;s time to go for it. I am freeeeeaking outtttt. Here is my vagina! Being seen by a person who is not my mom. He is kind of looking at it the way you&amp;amp;#146;d look at an alien, but an awesome alien that gives you free pizza. I can&amp;amp;#146;t believe the effect my total nakedness has on him! I feel like Cleopatra or Courtney Stodden or something. I could get used to this. 6. Age 18 - 21 Wow, everyone at college is basically Jaime Goldberg. I guess boobs in the girls&amp;amp;#146; shower/bathroom area is no big thing. So I&amp;amp;#146;ll just go do it and then walk back to my dorm room with my little waterproof basket of loofahs and stuff like a PIIIIIIMP. Also, about 17 guys have seen me naked since Welcome Week, and none of them have complained. 7. Age 22 - 23 He&amp;#039;s gonna see the food baby. Why did I eat that burrito? Why couldn&amp;#039;t I have gotten a salad made of air and tears? 8. Age 24  Oh, right, because burritos are delicious and I would like to enjoy my life.  9. Age 25 - 26 Dude. This is the best I&amp;amp;#146;m probably ever going to look. Those communal dressing rooms at Loehmann&amp;amp;#146;s don&amp;amp;#146;t even bother me. **Flawless. 10. Age 27 - 30 Am I drooping? Oh, screw it, who cares. Follow Anna on Twitter.   Photo Credit: Getty "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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