<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"For a long time after we had kids, I was fine with Rex and my household arrangement. Simply stated, he&amp;#039;d shuffle off to work during the day while I&amp;#039;d work with the kids at home. He&amp;#039;d do the laundry, I&amp;#039;d do the cleaning. He&amp;#039;d do the dishes while I did the cooking. But the sibling squabbles, bedtime routines and basic boo-boo/question solving issues? That was all mine. Until recently. My son, who is almost eight, is amazing. But he can be a pistol. To say it bluntly, sometimes I just can&amp;#039;t take one more question. Yes, I think it&amp;#039;s fantastic that he&amp;#039;s interested in exactly how the pyramids were constructed, what Michelangelo painted behind those recently discovered trap doors, and why certain fish live in fresh water but not salt water. But the same inquisitive &amp;quot;why&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;how come&amp;#039;s&amp;quot; when it&amp;#039;s time to brush teeth and wash hands can drive a mama to drink. No amount of routine, consistency and follow through on my part seems to work when my son is in needling mode. Rather than yell or scream like a Maury Povich paternity test guest (does no good) or run shrieking from the house like Richard Simmons in a new pair of Nikes (that&amp;#039;s just plain dumb, plus it scares the neighbors and I look heinous in a perm) I have started enlisting Rex. A year ago I wouldn&amp;#039;t have bothered bugging my man for help. I&amp;#039;d have convinced myself that this is my arena, not his. I&amp;#039;m strong! I&amp;#039;m independent! I don&amp;#039;t need him for every little thing! But sometimes, I just do. Apparently being married means you work as a team. Who knew?  These days, I&amp;#039;m making less apologies. Just now, when I heard the bathroom light go on for the tenth time in twenty minutes, I interrupted a riveting episode of South Park to bring Rex the following message: &amp;quot;I NEED YOUR HELP.&amp;quot; Like a priest sworn to secrecy, no questions were asked. He went up the stairs, mumbled something to Stink, then came back down.  This time, however, instead of going right back to Cartman, he paid a visit to me first. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m worried that maybe Stink isn&amp;#039;t joking around. Maybe he has a bladder infetion.&amp;quot;  I just looked at him, wanting to scream, &amp;quot;You naive, dorko!&amp;quot; Instead, I stayed silent and let him continue.&amp;quot;Or maybe he&amp;#039;s just playing us.&amp;quot; (DUH.) &amp;quot;But either way, I think we need to devise a plan to figure out what&amp;#039;s going on in that thick skull of his!&amp;quot; And then he said the words that melt my heart every time. &amp;quot;Together.&amp;quot; If you&amp;#039;re at all like me, it doesn&amp;#039;t matter what problem you&amp;#039;re facing as a parent, whether it be as insignificant as a child who won&amp;#039;t go to bed to a scary diagnosis. What&amp;#039;s important is that you don&amp;#039;t feel alone. Oftentimes, in my past, I felt isolated. A big reason was because I just didn&amp;#039;t ask. Pre-children, my very livelihood depended my strong and assertive nature. (Well, &amp;quot;facade&amp;quot; is better put.) Asking for help was considered a weakness.  But in parenthood, surrender is part of survival. It might be hard for a sassy gal like me to ask for assistance, but that&amp;#039;s silly, because given a chance, Rex is more than willing to help.  Here&amp;#039;s five ways I think you get more help from your spouse. Perhaps you can add some more? 1. Ask them what their biggest challenges are each day, whether it&amp;#039;s at the office, home or dealing with a difficult family member. Don&amp;#039;t judge. Don&amp;#039;t criticize. Just listen. 2. Tell them what your biggest challenges are each day. Don&amp;#039;t expect them to fix it. Just ask them to listen without commenting. 3. Decided on 1 thing that each of you want to change. 4. Decide on 1 thing that each of you can do to relieve the other&amp;#039;s burden. 5. When that&amp;#039;s done, move onto the next item on the agenda. I suggest patience and humor as you work your way through the list. For some of you, years of resentment might be built up. Words won&amp;#039;t fix this, but actions will. Like a great 12-Step program, take this &amp;#039;asking for help stuff&amp;#039; one day at time. Alisa Bowman writes about topics like this in her Project Happiily Ever blog. Why not take a look for some more marriage booster tips? In the meantime, tell me what you&amp;#039;d like help with. Or what does your spouse do that&amp;#039;s great! Oh, and dare I add a #6 to the list: When your spouse helps you, no matter how small, thank him or her! For us, a great romp in the hey is a sure way to keep us supporting each other! Speaking of, I promised Rex some fresh bed sheets tonight. Which is really silly, because they&amp;#039;re just going to be messed up later. But he&amp;#039;s worth it. And so is your spouse! * Photo of Rex re-doing all our window screens by hand. If he can manage the tricky job of lining stinky plastic on rickety aluminum without breaking a sweat, he can certainly handle my last minute requests for kid help. I wasn&amp;#039;t giving him enough credit in the past and lucky for him, this is changing! "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a3238/5-ways-to-ask-your-husband-for/?src=shelter_footer>