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"Amazon Review Bombs\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n1. The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee\n\n\n1.0 out of 5 stars: \"Ted Nugent shot me!\"\nFeb. 7, 2013, By C. Jordan \"Cooper1970\" (Anywhere, USA) \n\"Be careful with this shirt. I decided to wear it to a Ted Nugent concert... You know, looking for a little 'cat scratch fever' in this studly shirt. Half way through his set during his wild hunter portion that sob shot me with a flamming arrow! He saw those wolves and his 2nd Amendment Rights just took over! Be careful!\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n2. Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer\n\n\n5.0 out of 5 stars: \"No more winning for you, Mr. Banana!\" \nMarch 3, 2011, By SW3K\n\"For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. 'Use a knife!' they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. 'Shoot it with a gun!' Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story.\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n3. Maisto Fresh Metal Tailwinds 1:97 Scale Die Cast United States Military Aircraft -  Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) RQ-1 Predator with Display Stand\n\n\n4.0 out of 5 stars\nBy Samuel Clemens\n\"Where is my set of Waziristan wedding party action figures? With 12 year old male collateral casualties that count as enemy combatants?\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n4. BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct\n\n\n1.0 out of 5 stars: \"Binders Full Of Woman(hood)\"\nBy D. Burnworth \"Imagination Proclamation\" \n\"My binder of womanhood has finally been opened thanks to the delicate and soft BIC for-her pen. I had been only a notebook, rough and spiraled into closure before the BIC for-her in ice cream colors peeled my rough, masculine layers back to expose the true woman lying beneath the pant-suits, short and sophisticated hair and sensible shoes. My dress is flowery and waves in the wind. My golden wavy locks tickle my tanned shoulders that I carefully angle to attract my future husband and father of my 2.3 children in this beautiful future I now can have, all thanks to the BIC for-her pens. Now, if only they'll come up with trash can liners for us ladyfolk and a woman-only gas pump I would no longer be subjected to the horrors of the trashcan in my lily-white kitchen and I could possibly, not today, but maybe one day, pump my own gas with the help of an attendant, a valet and a footman, of course. That's just silliness.\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n5. Fresh Whole Rabbit\n\n\n4.0 out of 5 stars\nBy M. Rosen\n\"Like many suburban homeowners, I like to kill and eat the wild animals that populate my backyard. To keep it sporting, I hunt naked, with my teeth and long sharpened fingernails as my only weapons. I've feasted on squirrel, raccoon, vole and numerous songbirds. But no matter how long I lay spread eagle and motionless in the hot noonday sun, I have never been able to outwit and catch any of the plump and juicy rabbits that hop just outside my reach and then bolt for the woods when I leap forward with a blood-curdling shriek. I have chased them at a dead run through the yards of the many unoccupied homes that surround mine but the pursuit always ends in frustration. But no more, thanks to Amazon. Every week, I order a fresh whole rabbit and affix it to a remote control car that is operated by one of my children. This way, I get the thrill of the hunt, and when the car's batteries are exhausted, I can leap upon it, bury my teeth into the rabbit's soft flesh and perform my ritual victory dance right there in the Walgreen's parking lot.\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n6. Uranium Ore\n\n\n3.0 out of 5 stars: \"Great Product, Poor Packaging\"\nBy Patrick J. McGovern\n\"I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n7. Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz\n\n\n1.0 out of 5 stars: \"Very disappointing indeed!\" \nJanuary 28, 2013, By TKC (Sarasota)\n\"My local Priest told me that this milk would enlarge my Willie Johnson to Biblical proportions. Not funny. Now I have to have four bodybuilders carry it around for me. This milk has ruined my life. And my wife. DO NOT DRINK THIS!\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n8. Sharp, Provolone Piccante Cheese (Whole Wheel) Approximately 60 Lbs\n\n\n3.0 out of 5 stars: \"Not technically a wheel\" \nJanuary 17, 2013, By Thomas A. Ertman (Missouri) \n\"This should be called a 'cylinder' of cheese. Lasted two seconds on my Corolla and then the whole thing came apart on the highway.\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n9. How to Avoid Huge Ships\n\n\n5.0 out of 5 stars: \"A Parent's Review\" \nFebruary 20, 2011, By Noel D. Hill\n\"As the father of two teenagers, I found this book invaluable. I'm sure other parents here can empathize when I say I shudder at the thought of the increasing influence and presence of huge ships in the lives my children. I certainly remember the strain I caused so long ago for my own parents when I began experimenting with huge ships. The long inter-continental voyages that kept my mom and dad up all night with worry. Don't even get me started on the international protocols when transporting perishable cargo. To think, I was even younger than my kids are now! huge ships are everywhere and it doesn't help that the tv and movies make huge ships seem glamorous and cool. This book helped me really approach the subject of huge ships with my kids in an honest, open and non judgmental way. Because of the insights this book provided, I can sleep a little better and cope with the reality that I can't always be there to protect my kids from huge ships, especially as they become adults. I'm confident that my teens, when confronted by a huge ship, are much better prepared to make wiser decisions than I did. At the very least my children certainly know that they can always come to me if they have any concerns, questions or just need my support when it comes to the topic of huge ships.\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n10. Looking For-Best of David Hasselhoff [Import]\n\n\n5.0 out of 5 stars: \"A little something for everyone on this disc!\" By Segway Vagynna\n\"There is little doubt now that David Husselshaft is a major force in the music business these days. I've already been a fan for many years, but an amazing thing happened recently which I have to share. The doctor said my dog Cherish had only days to live. Desperate for any sign of recovery, I played this CD in the garage for him 24/7, and not only did my dog die, but so did 2 cats and all of my plants. My neighbor came down with a rare form of stomach virus, the one causes massive cramping and explosive diarrhea. Boy did I prove that doctor wrong!The song 'Hot Shot City' is particularly good.\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nA user named \"Peanut's Mama\" was not happy with her recent purchase on Amazon. It seemed the 60 lb. wheel of sharp, provolone piccante cheese she bought had one glaring flaw:\nVery frustrating. Did not come with manual and I can't find one online except something that seems to be Italian. Without instructions this is impossible to figure out. Would return along with the 5 gallon bottle of Chianti I bought to accompany it, but the shipping is so expensive it's more cost effective to put it in the back field as a cheese lick for the wild animals.\nWhile bad reviews are nothing new on Amazon, weird ones like that one are a fairly recent development. In 2009, the phenomenon of an \"Amazon Review Bomb\" caught the world's attention when CollegeHumor encouraged readers to weigh in on the The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee. Now there are more than 2,300 reviews of that item, each more ridiculous than the last. (\"Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather,\" one reviewer notes.) \nSEE ALSO: 7 Ways to Use Humor in Your Online Marketing\n\nThough a CollegeHumor rep says that the site has \"participated in a handful\" of other Amazon review bombs, more often the reviews seem to catch fire by themselves. \"It took a while, but one review led to another,\" says John Iovine, president of Images Scientific Instruments, which makes Uranium Ore, the subject of another Amazon pile-on. Iovine says he only heard about the review pile-on after Amazon called him. The company, he says, was excited that the product was attracting so much attention. (Amazon reps could not be reached for further comment.) \nAnd in case you're wondering, the reviews didn't necessarily prompt a spike in sales. \"It's impossible to tell,\" Iovine says, noting that the 2011 Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster was more of an impetus for a sales increase. \nFor Hutzler Manufacturing, though, being the subject of an Amazon free-for-all has been a win-win. Monique Haas, marketing director for the company, finds the reviews \"hysterically funny and well-written\" and has seen a definite sales boost. Haas, however, is baffled as to why the company's 571 Banana Slicer has become a cause de celebre. \"The reason? I have no idea,\" she says. \"We noticed two kind of sarcastic, funny reviews in late 2011, but it was a year later that it took off. I have no idea how it became the phenomenon that it is.\" \nWhy did the Banana Slicer thrive on sarcastic reviews, while Uranium Ore didn't? Perhaps its the price. Uranium Ore goes for $40, while the Banana Slicer is $3. \nWhile you might not be in the market for a banana slicer (though perhaps you are; give it some thought), reading reviews is free and may just put a smile on your puss. Above are the 10 best we've seen on Amazon. Have you seen more? If so, let us know in the comments.\nHomepage image courtesy of iStockphoto, Matejmm; all other images courtesy of Amazon"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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