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"  Dear E. Jean: Seven weeks ago, I lost my job as a corporate attorney. Things wouldn&amp;#039;t be so sad except I also just discovered that my husband has been playing sugar daddy to a stripper. While I&amp;#039;ve been looking for a job and trying to stretch every dollar, he&amp;#039;s been taking this woman on shopping sprees and lavishing her with gifts. Apparently he and she were in the middle of another bonanza\u2014he&amp;#039;d flown them to Vegas\u2014when my bank called to ask if my card had been stolen. I checked our accounts online and found out he&amp;#039;d squandered my entire life savings. The man has left me penniless, and it&amp;#039;s not helping my confidence as I look for a new position. Needless to say, I&amp;#039;ve thrown him out. But now he&amp;#039;s emotionally disintegrating. He lost his job (he was a consultant) and has nowhere to go. The stripper won&amp;#039;t talk to him because he has no more money. And he&amp;#039;s begging me to take him back. But with all this guilt weighing me down, how can I look for work? I&amp;#039;m being held hostage by the fact that for seven years before he met this woman, he was a decent guy. How do I protect myself, deal with the guilt, and get a job?\u2014Stripped Bare Bare, My Blossom: Wait\u2014what woman on God&amp;#039;s green globe feels guilty after her dumb-cluck husband spends her life savings on a stripper? Bah! Auntie Eeee is totally into forgiveness. And if your husband makes the little pole-vaulter return the gifts he gave her, you may permit him to sleep one night a year in the garage. But guilt is useless. The man wrecked your marriage. Don&amp;#039;t let him kill your career. Your confidence will return when you start interviewing. Hire an intern to help locate job openings, set Google Alerts for the law firms you&amp;#039;re interested in, haunt the career services office at your law school, pore over your alumni magazine and favorite lawyer blogs, and write personal letters (the heavier the paper stock you use, the better) to well-placed persons at your top 12 companies. Ask for a &amp;quot;10-Minute Stand-Up Meeting&amp;quot;\u2014you don&amp;#039;t wish to waste their time, and anyway, you&amp;#039;re so enthusiastic you can&amp;#039;t sit. Give each person a compelling reason to see you. (Re: the paper. You&amp;#039;ll be perceived as a heavy hitter if you use heavy stock. The psychologist Daniel Kahneman, PhD, a Nobel winner for his work in behavioral economics, recommends it. I like Southworth parchment. It&amp;#039;s so beautiful that when I have no one to write to, I just serve dinner on it.) Speaking of which, throw a monthly pancake and cocktail supper in your home for female attorneys. It&amp;#039;s the who-you-know that will get you the job. And your husband? Of all the emotions, the dumbest and most destructive is guilt. Good luck! E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com  MORE E. JEAN:What to Do When You Want Him BackWhy a Sugar Daddy Won&amp;#039;t Solve Your Financial CrisisMy Husband Had an Affair With My Coworker "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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