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"Turns out that Claudia,* the woman I&amp;amp;#8217;ve been crushing on for the past few months, found my less-than-traditional way of announcing my feelings for her (you know, in the pages of a national magazine) &amp;amp;#8220;kinda romantic,&amp;amp;#8221; and went on to add that she was pretty into me. So&amp;amp;#8230;consider Jake in a relationship. I&amp;amp;#8217;m totally buzzing, but thanks to some long-unresolved issues, I&amp;amp;#8217;m also pretty nervous. See, I love beginnings. The freshness, the discoveries, the risk taking. But once anything, romance included, gets familiar, it loses some of the oomph for me. Instead of passively waiting around this time for my interest to wane, I&amp;amp;#8217;m taking the proactive approach. I asked friends who are in relationships what keeps it hot over the long haul. Their answers: You try new stuff Before he met his now fianc&amp;amp;eacute;e, Brendan spent a tad too much time playing Grand Theft Auto. And Matt, back when he was single, rarely moved from in front of the TV. Both would have sworn they didn&amp;amp;#8217;t want for anything, yet since they&amp;amp;#8217;ve had serious girlfriends, their lives have gotten fuller&amp;amp;#8230;and better. Matt put it best when he said: &amp;amp;#8220;Now I actually do things.&amp;amp;#8221; He&amp;amp;#8217;s been to more places&amp;amp;#8212;from skiing in Vermont to spontaneous pizza in Mystic, Connecticut (and Italy next spring)&amp;amp;#8212;in their 18 months of dating than in his first 26 years of life. &amp;amp;#8220;She&amp;amp;#8217;s adventurous, and I grew up in a family that never left the state,&amp;amp;#8221; says Matt. &amp;amp;#8220;I didn&amp;amp;#8217;t think I was a traveler&amp;amp;#8212;turns out I&amp;amp;#8217;d just never done it. Can&amp;amp;#8217;t wait to find out what else I like!&amp;amp;#8221; You try new stuff in bed &amp;amp;#8220;The sex doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t get old, it gets bold!&amp;amp;#8221; my friend Patrick told me with a wry smile. He&amp;amp;#8217;s been married for two months (after dating his wife for five years) and says that reaching a certain comfort level with her has meant getting more experimental sexually. &amp;amp;#8220;I&amp;amp;#8217;ve wanted to try some different positions, introduce a toy&amp;amp;#8230;all things I&amp;amp;#8217;d never attempt with someone new for fear of getting punched. Now I can let my mind&amp;amp;#8212;and fingers&amp;amp;#8212;wander, and I know she won&amp;amp;#8217;t label me a deviant or announce that it&amp;amp;#8217;s over.&amp;amp;#8221; The best part, he adds, was discovering she had a few ideas of her own. &amp;amp;#8220;And I thought I was the dirty one!&amp;amp;#8221; You can finally drop the act Kory is my polar opposite in that he&amp;amp;#8217;s stressed out by the beginning of relationships. &amp;amp;#8220;I always think those first days are like The Best of Kory Show&amp;amp;#8212;I&amp;amp;#8217;m making jokes, taking her dancing, trying to say the right thing,&amp;amp;#8221; he says. &amp;amp;#8220;It&amp;amp;#8217;s exhausting.&amp;amp;#8221; Ironically, what Kory most looks forward to&amp;amp;#8212;things settling down so they can both be themselves&amp;amp;#8212;is exactly what I&amp;amp;#8217;m afraid of. After the three-month Best of Jake extravaganza, allowing a woman to see that I&amp;amp;#8217;m not perfect is terrifying (for instance, I get more than a little bit cranky when I&amp;amp;#8217;m past due for a meal). But listening to Kory extol the benefits of not having to suck in your stomach muscles and flex everything your girlfriend touches has made me reconsider. You know someone&amp;amp;#8217;s got your back Having been single for such a long time, I&amp;amp;#8217;d forgotten how nice it feels when someone else is looking out for you. Aside from the brings-me-the-chicken-soup-when-I&amp;amp;#8217;m-sick stuff, Claudia sends text messages wishing me luck before stand-up comedy shows, and when we&amp;amp;#8217;re not together, she always calls to say good night. In other words, she cares. How I&amp;amp;#8217;m doing matters to someone else (other than Mom, of course!). I&amp;amp;#8217;ll take that over the thrill of the chase anytime. Jake is a real, live single guy dating in New York City--give him ideas for his next column here. *Names have been changed."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2008/09/jake-the-thrill-after-the-chase>