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" For the past several months, REDBOOK has followed the lives of three friends from the Cleveland area on their moving journey through infertility and pregnancy and into parenthood. In this installment, Jenny Taylor, 27, faces the anniversary of her son&amp;#039;s death from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) along with her first Mother&amp;#039;s Day with 9-month-old Nora. Carrie Brainerd, 31, who had no difficulty becoming pregnant, enjoys her daughter&amp;#039;s first months while recovering from a debilitating labor injury. And after a long struggle to get pregnant through infertility treatments, Jody Urbas, 33, finds out if she&amp;#039;s having a boy or a girl.  For Jenny Taylor, Mother&amp;#039;s Day 2007 was bittersweet. She reveled in the sunny personality of her daughter, Nora, who was now enthusiastically crawling around the house in pursuit of the family cat. &amp;quot;We had a barbecue picnic in the park with my husband&amp;#039;s family for Mother&amp;#039;s Day, and it felt so good to finally be celebrated as a mother,&amp;quot; says Jenny.  But she couldn&amp;#039;t help missing the child who had first made her a mother \u2014 son Andrew Wyatt, who had died of SIDS two days after his birth in May 2005. Just a week after Mother&amp;#039;s Day, Jenny wrote in her journal: &amp;quot;Andrew would be 2 today. Happy birthday, son. I hope you know how much Mommy and Daddy miss you.&amp;quot; Two days later, she and husband Sean, 37, mourned the anniversary of Andrew&amp;#039;s death on May 22, a day they call his &amp;quot;angel day.&amp;quot; Jenny: I can&amp;#039;t believe it&amp;#039;s been two years. Some days it seems like yesterday. I can still get that same feeling \u2014 you know, the one that feels like not only did you just have your heart ripped out of your chest but you also got run over by a Mack truck? And then, sometimes, it seems like a lifetime ago. His birthday fell on Sunday this year, and some of the songs we sang during Mass just hit home with Sean and me, so we shed a few tears. Then we visited Andrew&amp;#039;s grave site. I was feeling so thankful for Nora, but I also miss him so much. You have all these thoughts like, I&amp;#039;d have a 2-year-old now instead of a 9-month-old. But if I had him, I wouldn&amp;#039;t necessarily have her. As much as I try to just be thankful for having her, ultimately there is still some anger at not having him.  As the poignant anniversaries of Andrew&amp;#039;s birth and death passed, Jenny found herself wishing that more people would talk to her about her son. &amp;quot;It seemed like people had forgotten him for the most part, or at least they didn&amp;#039;t remember his birthday and angel day,&amp;quot; she says. Some close family members did remember, though, with flowers on Andrew&amp;#039;s grave and words of comfort for Jenny and Sean. And Jody and Carrie sent flowers to arrive on Andrew&amp;#039;s angel day. &amp;quot;We just wanted to let her know we&amp;#039;re thinking of her \u2014 we&amp;#039;re not going to forget his dates,&amp;quot; says Carrie. &amp;quot;She doesn&amp;#039;t want people to forget him, like it never happened or he wasn&amp;#039;t real \u2014 when he was.&amp;quot; Jenny and Sean have pledged to make sure that their son is always real in the heart of the little sister he never met. &amp;quot;We already talk to Nora about him and point out pictures of him,&amp;quot; says Jenny. &amp;quot;Obviously she doesn&amp;#039;t grasp it now, and it will probably be years before she can really understand, but we will always tell her about him.&amp;quot; Lessons in Motherhood  Jenny was fortified during these tough days by a long, chatty lunch at Applebee&amp;#039;s with Jody and Carrie on the day before Andrew&amp;#039;s birthday. &amp;quot;We took over the place \u2014 there was baby stuff everywhere,&amp;quot; laughs Jody. Carrie brought her daughter, Payton, then 10 weeks old, much to the delight of little Nora. &amp;quot;She was just enthralled with Payton,&amp;quot; Jody recalls. &amp;quot;She constantly wanted to play with her stuff and look at her. It was so cute!&amp;quot; New mom Carrie and mom-to-be Jody grilled Jenny about everything from what to buy for the baby (and what not to buy) to breast-feeding tips. She advised them to invest in the real &amp;quot;Hooter Hider&amp;quot; for nursing in public instead of skimping on cheap imitations. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s so nice and reassuring to have a friend who&amp;#039;s gone through it so recently \u2014 someone you can ask anything,&amp;quot; says Carrie. &amp;quot;My sisters didn&amp;#039;t breast-feed, so I&amp;#039;m always saying, &amp;#039;Jenny, help, is this normal? Jenny, what should I do?&amp;#039;&amp;quot; The first weeks of motherhood had been harder for Carrie than for most new moms. Payton was healthy and beautiful, but Carrie had sustained a rare and painful injury to her pelvic ligaments, called pubic symphysis separation, during delivery. After Payton was born on March 2, Carrie spent the next two weeks getting around with the help of a walker; she was able to hold her daughter but unable to pick her up and carry her around. &amp;quot;As soon as I could get rid of the walker, I did, and then I just hobbled,&amp;quot; Carrie says. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m kind of stubborn that way.&amp;quot; Jenny and Jody called often to offer their support, and Jody stopped by with lunch and gossip. More than two months later, after six weeks of physical therapy, Carrie was still struggling with chronic pain.  Carrie: It took about a month to get back to walking normally, but there are still problems. I&amp;#039;ll walk the dog and he&amp;#039;ll turn in a direction I wasn&amp;#039;t expecting, and pain shoots up my body. Most people would say, &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re fine, you can walk.&amp;quot; Yes, I can, but I used to be very active \u2014 I worked out a lot, and the things my husband and I like to do are very physical, like hiking off the beaten path. When I saw my niece, who takes gymnastics, she asked, &amp;quot;Aunt Carrie, how do I do a straddle jump?&amp;quot; I did gymnastics and cheerleading growing up, so I went to show her \u2014 and realized I couldn&amp;#039;t. It&amp;#039;s hard not to be able to do things you&amp;#039;ve always been able to do. I&amp;#039;ve decided to change doctors, to one who&amp;#039;s more proactive in dealing with my condition and making sure it won&amp;#039;t happen again with another birth. Things are still improving, but nobody&amp;#039;s told me what to expect over the long term.  As Carrie continued to recover and enjoy her growing daughter, she received, as she put it, &amp;quot;the kind of phone call you never want to get in the middle of the night.&amp;quot; Her father \u2014 healthy and active at 57 \u2014 had suffered a severe heart attack. Carrie and her husband, John, 33, packed Payton into her car seat and drove through the night from Cleveland to Indiana. &amp;quot;It was really hard \u2014 my father and I are very close. At one point, the stress really hit and I had almost no milk supply. Poor Paty had to eat every half hour to keep my milk pumping!&amp;quot;  Fortunately, Carrie&amp;#039;s father appears to be headed for a full recovery. &amp;quot;He was really lucky. He realized he was having problems and went to the hospital. If he hadn&amp;#039;t, he probably wouldn&amp;#039;t have survived,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;Because I&amp;#039;m an optimist, I see a positive side to all of this: I am so grateful to have a close family that enjoys being with each other. It may sound cheesy, but I love my family!&amp;quot; No sooner did Carrie emerge from that wrenching experience than she faced another: going back to work after maternity leave \u2014 a decision that left her feeling torn and aching to spend more time with her baby girl. When Payton was 12 weeks old, Carrie returned to her work in marketing, leaving her daughter in the day-care center she&amp;#039;d chosen after meticulous research.  Carrie: The first day, I kept wanting to call and see how she was doing, but I didn&amp;#039;t want to hover. It&amp;#039;s hard to be away from her, so I&amp;#039;m looking for a part-time position within my company. She&amp;#039;s so much fun, and we had such a good time together during my maternity leave. The first month is hard with a new baby, and the second month you feel like you&amp;#039;re figuring things out. And then the third month, it&amp;#039;s really fun. I can&amp;#039;t wait until Jenny and Jody and I can all go out with our babies! Hoping for the Best  And when they do all go out with their babies, it will be three moms and three daughters. In mid-April, at their 17-week ultrasound appointment, Jody and her husband, Scott, 32, learned that they, too, were expecting a little girl. They&amp;#039;ve already chosen her name: Zoe Roze.  Jody: This was the anatomy scan, where they check the whole body: brain, feet, toes, liver, kidneys \u2014 everything. It was such a relief to see that everything was normal. When they asked if we wanted to know the sex, we said, &amp;quot;Yes!!!&amp;quot; They said, &amp;quot;She&amp;#039;s a girl.&amp;quot; I was so excited! Since this will be our only child \u2014 unless God has other plans, because I&amp;#039;m not going through all the infertility treatments and IVF again \u2014 I&amp;#039;m glad it&amp;#039;s a girl. Scott was hoping for a boy at first, but now everything is like, &amp;quot;This is for baby girl!&amp;quot; The other day he said, &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;re going to get her ears pierced when she&amp;#039;s old enough and get her diamond-stud earrings.&amp;quot; I said, &amp;quot;Hey, baby girl&amp;#039;s mom doesn&amp;#039;t have diamond-stud earrings!&amp;quot; Jody&amp;#039;s pregnancy is being monitored by not just one doctor, but three: a regular ob/gyn, a high-risk ob/gyn, and a hematologist. Her pregnancy \u2014 a result of in vitro fertilization (IVF) using a technique called intracytoplasmic sperm injection \u2014 is considered to be high-risk both because she has a blood-clotting disorder known as Factor V Leiden, which probably played a role in the miscarriage that she had a year ago, and because of the way she conceived. Studies have shown that IVF brings an increased risk of pregnancy complications, including a condition called placenta previa \u2014 which Jody has.  Jody: The placenta is between the baby and the cervix, blocking the opening. People bleed all the time and can go into preterm labor because of that, so I&amp;#039;ve been ordered not to exercise or do any heavy work. So far I&amp;#039;m okay \u2014 I hope I don&amp;#039;t have to go on bed rest! If things continue as they are, then I&amp;#039;ll have to have a C-section, even though that&amp;#039;s riskier for me than for other women because of my clotting disorder. It&amp;#039;s kind of scary, but I&amp;#039;m trying not to worry about it too much. My ob/gyn wants to wait and see what happens at my next appointment with the high-risk ob/gyn before we start talking about what will happen during delivery.  But other than her morning sickness \u2014 which continued into the second trimester, abating somewhat from the &amp;quot;all-day sickness&amp;quot; of the first trimester \u2014 Jody feels great. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m tired more and out of breath more, but I feel good. I&amp;#039;m even staying awake past 6 p.m.!&amp;quot; she says. Since Jody works as a teacher of the hearing impaired, she&amp;#039;s had some time off this summer \u2014 and she already has a long list of to-do&amp;#039;s to prepare for Zoe&amp;#039;s arrival in September, including decorating the nursery and &amp;quot;shopping for all the cute clothes!&amp;quot; with Jenny and Carrie. Jody will be watched closely through the remaining weeks of her pregnancy, and the daily injections she takes to control her clotting disorder will be ramped up to twice-daily shots of a different drug as labor draws near \u2014 but it&amp;#039;s all worth it, she says: &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s been a long, hard road to get here, and I can&amp;#039;t wait to meet our little girl!&amp;quot;  Postconception Concerns If you&amp;#039;ve conceived through assisted reproductive technology such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) or fertility drugs, studies show that you&amp;#039;re at higher risk for certain pregnancy complications, possibly because of underlying conditions that initially caused fertility issues. &amp;quot;While serious, all of these conditions are highly treatable,&amp;quot; says Tracy Shevell, M.D., a perinatologist and the author of a recent study reviewing 36,000 pregnancies. &amp;quot;So see your doctor immediately if you spot any of the symptoms.&amp;quot; Placenta Previa  It has been speculated that in a natural pregnancy, the egg usually implants itself fairly high up in the uterus; but in an IVF pregnancy, the egg tends to implant toward the bottom. This could cause placenta previa, in which the placenta partially or completely covers the cervix, blocking the baby&amp;#039;s eventual exit. Fortunately, this condition is easily diagnosed, usually during an expecting mom&amp;#039;s first ultrasound. Warning signs: unexplained vaginal bleeding, usually without pain.  If you&amp;#039;re diagnosed: If there is no bleeding or just a little spotting, patients are usually advised to avoid intercourse and to keep vigilant watch for early contractions. If bleeding is present and continues, you might have to be hospitalized briefly for observation, and a cesarean section will probably be necessary.  Placenta Abruption  Usually occurring during the last trimester, an abruption is a partial or complete separation of the placenta from the uterine wall. This tear can cause bleeding and possibly decrease oxygen flow to the fetus. Your risk is higher if you have high blood pressure or sickle-cell anemia, or if you smoke, are over 35, or have had previous children.  Warning signs: unexplained bleeding, which could be heavy, or stomach pain without bleeding.  If you&amp;#039;re diagnosed: Most patients are hospitalized for observation, and if bleeding doesn&amp;#039;t recur, sent home at modified activity.  Preeclampsia Between 4 percent and 7 percent of pregnant women develop this form of high blood pressure, which can affect blood flow to the placenta and, if severe, can damage a woman&amp;#039;s liver, heart, and other organs. You&amp;#039;re at greater risk if you&amp;#039;re African-American, pregnant for the first time, over 35, or carrying more than one baby. A history of hypertension, diabetes, or kidney disease also increases your odds. Experts aren&amp;#039;t sure how to prevent preeclampsia, but if you&amp;#039;re at risk, you and your doctor will need to closely monitor your blood pressure. Warning signs: sudden swelling of the face, hands, legs, or feet; rapid or sudden weight gain toward the end of pregnancy; severe headache; and/or pain on your right side, under the rib cage. If you&amp;#039;re diagnosed: For mild preeclampsia, your ob/gyn will want to see you more often and may put you on bed rest until delivery. In more severe cases, however, your doctor may need to induce labor.  Gestational Diabetes Hormones produced by the placenta can interfere with the way you process insulin (a hormone that controls blood sugar), which can cause gestational diabetes. Resulting high glucose levels may lead to problems such as preeclampsia, respiratory problems for your newborn, and even, very rarely, stillbirth. Hypertension, high cholesterol, polycystic ovarian syndrome, or a family history of diabetes or heart disease can increase your risk, so if any of these conditions affect you, ask for a diabetes test during your first prenatal visit.  Warning signs: unquenchable thirst, frequent urination, excess weight gain, and/or a large baby \u2014 or no symptoms at all.  If you&amp;#039;re diagnosed: Your doctor may perform more frequent ultrasounds and electronic fetal monitoring to keep close tabs on the baby&amp;#039;s progress. To control glucose levels, you may need to take insulin shots or medication or just modify your diet. Gestational diabetes usually goes away after delivery.  \u2014Nancy Kalish "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/body/pregnancy-fertility/a2021/0907-fertility-diaries/>