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"1. Take a Personal Day When Jennifer Winter, 37, decided to end her eight-year relationship with her live-in boyfriend, she had just started a job as a client-relations manager in finance, managing a team for the first time. &amp;quot;I tried for a month to pretend like nothing was going on, but I was a mess,&amp;quot; she says. Her colleagues picked up on what happened when her ex sent flowers ... and she threw them in the trash. &amp;quot;Looking back, I should&amp;#039;ve taken some personal time,&amp;quot; she says. Situations like this are why personal days exist. &amp;quot;It is far better to ask for time off than it is to lose your cool,&amp;quot; says Joan C. Williams, director of the Center of Work Life Law at the University of California, Hastings College of the Law. &amp;quot;If you try to soldier through and end up sobbing, it&amp;#039;s going to be very discrediting.&amp;quot; 2. Whatever You Do, Don&amp;#039;t Cry About that: Even Oprah, who makes people weep for a living, says work cries are a no-no. Granted, sometimes it can&amp;#039;t be helped. Regan Stephens, a 36-year-old photo editor, burst into tears when she got an unexpected call from her doctor, telling her she was having a miscarriage. &amp;quot;It was so terribly painful to get the news while I was around coworkers,&amp;quot; she says. If there&amp;#039;s no way to stem the tide, go outside for a walk. Don&amp;#039;t feel obligated to overexplain. Say, &amp;quot;I apologize. I had a tough few moments, but I&amp;#039;m OK.&amp;quot; 3. Have Solutions When her beloved pit bull was hit by a car, 30-year-old hairstylist Abigail Swan called her salon, unsure how her manager would react. &amp;quot;I was really anxious,&amp;quot; Swan says, but she minimized the impact her crisis would have on work by offering to reschedule 10 of her clients for the following day. In any crisis, it helps to present a plan \u2014 say you&amp;#039;ll work from home, make up your shift another day, or be available on email. &amp;quot;Focus on being confident and optimistic,&amp;quot; says LinkedIn career expert Nicole Williams. &amp;quot;Your boss will feel how you tell her to feel.&amp;quot; 4. Avoid Your Triggers Don&amp;#039;t check your personal email or social networks during the day. Seeing your ex-fianc\u00E9&amp;#039;s status updates is one hundred percent going to make you sob. 5. Don&amp;#039;t Overshare &amp;quot;We think we&amp;#039;re closer to our coworkers than we are, so there&amp;#039;s an inclination to talk,&amp;quot; says Nicole Williams. &amp;quot;But then they have personal information about you in a competitive environment.&amp;quot; If a coworker reaches out, say, &amp;quot;This is a hard time for me. I really appreciate the thought.&amp;quot; End of conversation. 6. Trick Your Brain &amp;quot;When you can&amp;#039;t stop worrying about something, open your mouth,&amp;quot; suggests career expert Penelope Trunk, founder of Quistic. &amp;quot;Your brain will automatically shift its focus.&amp;quot; A splash of cold water to your face will work too. 7. Put Yourself on Autopilot Each night, write down your tasks for the next day. At work, if you feel overwhelmed, make a list of concerns, put it away, and refocus on your to-dos. You may find, as Winter did, that doing your duties well can help. &amp;quot;Even if my lower lip was trembling,&amp;quot; she says, &amp;quot;engaging with other people to solve their problems snapped me back to reality.&amp;quot; How to Deal When ... \u2022 You get dumped. Keep it under wraps, unless your boss knew your S.O. If you have to, take a personal day. \u2022 A close loved one dies. Tell your manager. You should feel entitled to a week off if you&amp;#039;ve lost a parent or sibling. \u2022 You put your pet to sleep. Does your boss love animals? Use that as a gauge as to whether to share. It&amp;#039;s OK to use a personal day, if needed. \u2022 You have an addiction or eating disorder. Don&amp;#039;t tell your boss. If your workplace offers an anonymous wellness program, use it. If you need to go into treatment, say that you&amp;#039;re going on vacation. \u2022 You have a financial crisis. Employers don&amp;#039;t need to know about your landlord dispute or stolen credit card. Ask your benefits coordinator to point you to a financial adviser, and take a day to manage things. Source: Adrian Granzella Larssen, editor-in-chief of The Daily Muse This article was originally published as &amp;quot;Stay Cool When Life&amp;#039;s a Mess&amp;quot; in the September 2014 issue of Cosmopolitan. Click here to subscribe to the digital edition! "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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