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" \n 1. Do not alter your typical daily regimen: Sleep in, skip class, lounge around the dorm, and drink (lots of fluids). 2. To all women: If a guy dressed as a doctor asks you to disrobe so he can check your breasts for &amp;quot;Boob Flu,&amp;quot; he is not actually a doctor. 3. Marijuana does not qualify as an &amp;quot;herbal remedy.&amp;quot; 4. Hooking up is not recommended, as there are even more viruses than usual to worry about. 5. If you do hook up, please be sure to wear both condoms and surgical masks. 6. Getting an &amp;quot;I Survived Swine &amp;#039;09&amp;quot; tattoo is strongly discouraged. 7. Infected students will be allowed to attend football games, but they may sit only in a designated section located inside the visiting team&amp;#039;s locker room. 8. Your professors will ask you to catch up on all the reading that you miss. However, your professors will not be stupid enough to expect you to actually do it. 9. Do not hoard Vicks VapoRub \u2014 contrary to rumors currently circulating throughout the dorm, you cannot get high if you sniff enough of it. 10. Please respect others by playing your music quietly. Please respect others even more by not playing the Spin Doctors, Whitney Houston, or Gwar. 11. For those trapped here later this fall, the dorm will have its own version of homecoming. The theme: &amp;quot;Hand Sanitizer!&amp;quot; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/health-fitness/advice/a2641/swine-flu-club/>