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" Delivering a university (or even high school) commencement address is a high honor often bestowed upon people who don&amp;#039;t believe that they deserve it. They tend to come from the arts (rarely has a politician ever question his self-worth) and rather than deny the invitation, they deal with their self-doubt by calling attention to their unworthiness. Done well, it&amp;#039;s really charming and the perfect introduction to something that&amp;#039;s often overly earnest and needlessly serious. With a torrent of speeches headed down the pike in the coming weeks, we searched out the best examples of self-deprecation from college commencement speeches, and here&amp;#039;s what we found.  \u2022 Jon Stewart at William &amp;amp;amp; Mary      &amp;quot;When I think back to the people that have been in this position before me, from Benjamin Franklin to Queen Noor of Jordan, I can&amp;#039;t help but wonder what has happened to this place. Seriously, it saddens me. As a person, I am honored to get it; as an alumnus, I have to say I believe we can do better.&amp;quot; \u2022 Conan O&amp;#039;Brien at Dartmouth      &amp;quot;Before I begin, I must point out that behind me sits a highly admired president of the United States and decorated war hero while I, a cable television talk show host, has been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom. I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today.&amp;quot;  \u2022 George W. Bush at Yale  &amp;quot;Most important, congratulations to the class of 2001. To those of you who received honors, awards, and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students \u2014 I say, you, too, can be President of the United States.&amp;quot; \u2022 Amy Poehler at Harvard      &amp;quot;I am honored that you chose me to help you celebrate your graduation today. I can only assume I am here today because of my subtle and layered work in a timeless classic entitled Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. And for that I say, you&amp;#039;re welcome.&amp;quot;  \u2022 Bono at Penn      &amp;quot;Doctor of Laws, wow! I know it&amp;#039;s an honor, and it really is an honor, but are you sure? Doctor of Law, all I can think about is the laws I&amp;#039;ve broken.&amp;quot;  \u2022 Ben Bernanke at Boston College Law School &amp;quot;I get a number of invitations to speak at commencements, which I find a bit puzzling. A practitioner, like me, of the dismal science of economics \u2014 and it is even more dismal than usual these days \u2014 is not usually the first choice for providing inspiration and uplift.&amp;quot;  \u2022 Arnold Schwarzenegger at Emory      &amp;quot;It is an honor to stand before you here and receive this Honorary Doctorate of Laws degree. It is my first Law degree. And finally, finally the Kennedys will think that I am successful. And finally Maria can take me home to meet her family \u2014 finally.&amp;quot; \u2022 Nora Ephron at Wellesley      &amp;quot;Thank you for asking me to speak to you today. I had a wonderful time trying to imagine who had been ahead of me on the list and had said no; I was positive you&amp;#039;d have to have gone to Martha Stewart first. And I meant to call her to see what she would have said, but I forgot. She would probably be up here telling you how to turn your lovely black robes into tents. I will try to be at least as helpful, if not quite as specific as that.&amp;quot;  \u2022 Rachel Maddow at Smith College      &amp;quot;Thank you for asking me to be here today. I know by virtue of the achievement that earned you these seats down front today that you are too smart to take advice from anyone who hasn&amp;#039;t earned it; let alone an erstwhile Northampton radio show D.J.&amp;quot; \u2022 Billy Baldwin at Binghamton      &amp;quot;When I graduated back in 1985, Elie Wiesel was our commencement speaker. Now I don&amp;#039;t know about you but if I had to choose between Elie Wiesel or the former star of Dirty, Sexy, Money the choice is clear. Elie may have won the Nobel Prize, been knighted by the Queen, and survived Nazi Germany, but did he get to kiss Sharon Stone on the big screen? He may speak five languages, won the Congressional Medal of Honor, and the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but did he have a cameo in Forgetting Sarah Marshall? I think not. You&amp;#039;ve chosen wisely.&amp;quot; \u2022 J.K. Rowling at Harvard      &amp;quot;The first thing I would like to say is &amp;#039;thank you.&amp;#039; Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honor, but the weeks of fear and nausea I have endured at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation!&amp;quot; PLUS: Stephen Marche on the Commencement Sham and Mike Sager on Life After Graduation &amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;gt; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a18560/best-self-deprecating-commencement-speeches/>