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" Prince William and Kate Middleton&amp;#039;s tour of Australasia rolled along nicely over the weekend with a busy schedule for the royal couple to attend to. Prince George is still being a baby diva and refusing to leave his hotel suite, but the show must go on without him. And it turns out he missed lots of fun stuff!  On Saturday, Wills and KMid laid a wreath at a war memorial in the town of Cambridge.   Kate wore a tailored coat by British fashion designer Erdem Moralioglu. Naturally, there were crowds of people watching them do this.  Wills and Kate greeted them all, even though this sort of thing must get really tiresome. It&amp;#039;s also so oppressive these days with cell phones, because they can take HD photos and even the slightest royal pimple could get splashed across the tabloids. The stress is enough to make you break out \u2014 a vicious circle in itself. They also met with members of New Zealand&amp;#039;s national cycling team, aka hot guys in Lycra.  They were gifted a little racing bike for Prince George but seeing as he didn&amp;#039;t even bother to come pick up the gift himself, he better learn to write and send a damn good thank you note ASAP. (Technically, he could have the new royal nanny write the note for him.) P.S. TENUOUS BULGE ALERT:   The story of that time you met Kate Middleton wearing a skintight cycling suit \u2014 one through which she possibly could have seen the outline of your penis \u2014 is a story you&amp;#039;ll tell the grandkids, that&amp;#039;s for sure. Later that day they visited a children&amp;#039;s hospice in the town of Hamilton.   The welcome sign here is ADORABLE; KMid is also staring wistfully at this little girl&amp;#039;s dress because she wishes she could still wear stuff that&amp;#039;s this glamorous and sparkly. Her latest royal makeover was a bit of a downgrade in the fun fashion stakes, really. On Sunday the royal couple went to a church service at an Anglican Cathedral in Dunedin. KMid wore a fascinator with a fern on it, because she&amp;#039;s really taken the whole &amp;quot;wear the national emblem of the country you&amp;#039;re visiting&amp;quot; concept to heart.  This teal dress, by Emilia Wickstead, is one of her best looks so far on the tour, though. The color really pops. (KMid is also wearing a silver brooch from Queen Elizabeth&amp;#039;s jewelry collection.) After church, they watched a bunch of cute kids play sports.  Kate&amp;#039;s new friend on the left: HI THERE. HI.  And then they got to ride one of those fun speed boats through the Shotover River Canyons in Queensland.  Wild water rapid adventures: you inevitably get wet and also a little seasick. What good fun! (I prefer a lazy river, but that&amp;#039;s why I&amp;#039;ll never rule a country.) Wine tasting is also always good fun, especially when the wine is free.  Wills and Kate sampled the grapy offerings at the Amisfield Vinery, also in Queensland. And look, nobody&amp;#039;s saying that KMid got tipsy but she did stumble in her otherwise trusty cork wedges while on a tour of the vineyards.   Normally it&amp;#039;s funny when people fall over, but it&amp;#039;s not even worth laughing quietly to yourself when that person is a royal. They&amp;#039;ll find you. That sneaky patch of grass is totally anti-monarchic.   Anyway, KMid went home after that because, yeah, she was drunk and that&amp;#039;s just how the saying goes. But she got up bright and early today to go back to church and repent for her messiness.   A bunch of choristers all wore the same color as her and that&amp;#039;s a bitch move whether it&amp;#039;s ordained by God or not. Kate then got to rub noses with more Maori dignitaries.  And this time she got given balloon flowers, which probably seems like a cute idea but really, no.  Balloon art inevitably looks phallic and KMid had already dealt with her share of peen moments for the weekend. She maybe stole this cute baby owl plushie for George.  What are you going to do if the future Queen of England steals your kid&amp;#039;s toys, after all? NOTHING. She and Wills laid more flowers, real flowers, at another war memorial.  Pretended to be interested while on a tour of some botanical gardens.  Even though botanical gardens are NEVER interesting, unless you get to play hide and seek. And then, in the highlight of their royal tour so far, they played some cricket! Kate bowled like someone who has never played cricket before.  I can say this with some semblance of authority because, as a kid growing up in England, I had to play cricket at school. One of the worst things a teacher ever said to me was that I bowled &amp;quot;like a fairy.&amp;quot; #sadtruths When Prince William took his turn to bowl, he threw a ball that almost hit KMid in the face. Her reaction: PERFECT.  Wills is still mad about the whole boat race thing from last week, then. In conclusion, a Clueless quote which will never not be relevant:  Kate should definitely have that rule added to her royal tour rider. RELATED: Grumpy Baby George + A KMid Wardrobe Malfunction + Half-Naked Guys = The Best Start To A Royal Tour EVER Prince George Went To A Playgroup; That Loud Bang Is Your Ovaries Exploding Kate Middleton Sparkles At Latest Royal Party, Queen Elizabeth Looks Disapproving Kate Middleton Beats Prince William In Royal Boat Race, So She Gets To Be King Now Follow Alex on  Twitter. Photo credit: Getty Images "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/news/a6373/kmid-wild-weekend-wine-balls-peen/>