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" In an ever attempting goal to be rejected by someone big at least once/month, I&amp;#039;ve begun writing a television pilot which I hope will be turned down by at least 3 big networks by summer. In an ideal world I will also get the cold shoulder from top literary agents, studios and even some production houses. After writing for television, I&amp;#039;m still not 100% sure the difference between a development person or a studio head. While I can&amp;#039;t tell you what sets them apart, I can certainly tell you that what unites them is their universal ability to hit &amp;quot;delete&amp;quot; every time my voice lands in their message box. (Except for one studio that will remain unnamed. They had the amazing decency to have their legal department leave a chilly message on my cell phone informing me that &amp;quot;So-and-so is not interested in taking any pitches at this time. Furthermore, he would like you to know that he never wants to hear from you again.&amp;quot;) Hmmm... I&amp;#039;m no genius, but I&amp;#039;m thinking that means they are not interested. Which is awesome! Because that means I am actually doing my job. I&amp;#039;m trying. If this sounds like a big Hollywood game, it is. I don&amp;#039;t take any of it seriously. Let 1000 people tell me to stuff it. It just takes one to say &amp;quot;Okay, let&amp;#039;s do it!&amp;quot; And then, as the fates will have it, the very big wig who had their extremely important hoity toity legal team tell me to back off will end up my &amp;quot;creative&amp;quot; advisor where we&amp;#039;ll chat over bagels and laugh at how silly she was to think I couldn&amp;#039;t write a television show. I have to give my steady eddy Rex a lot of credit for my sass. I know, without a doubt, that he loves me for who I am. If I sell a million dollar show or Ebay my way out of debt one Ralph Lauren onesie at a time, he will be right there to compliment my beans on Taco Tuesday. He will always call me on the mistakes I&amp;#039;ve really made (Woops - sorry about the late Macy&amp;#039;s fee) not the missteps I&amp;#039;ve made by having the audacity to think that I, too, might have a voice among the high brow film...ahem... reality shows that dominate the airwaves these days. Besides, who but Rex (and whoever reads this column) would enjoy the little ditties I pick up in researching my outline? For example, did you know that &amp;quot;hippy dolphins&amp;quot; have sex up to 12 times/day? They have retractable penises that actually swivel. The downside for the female dolphin? The dudes usually finish their sex act in 12 seconds. Note to self: Don&amp;#039;t leave that example on some executive&amp;#039;s voicemail. Unless, of course, you want to hear from legal again. But come on, who doesn&amp;#039;t want to hear about dolphin schtupping in between script meetings?  * Photo courtesy of I Stock Photo. I am sooo ready for a romantic trip like that. One more reason to sell something! What are your hopes and dreams for you as well as your marriage? "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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