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" How do you tell your blind mother that she&amp;#039;s dating the Mask?  &amp;quot;You don&amp;#039;t,&amp;quot; said Sis on the phone this morning. &amp;quot;You let it go. And anyway, he&amp;#039;s not that bad-looking.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;No, you&amp;#039;re right. I agree\u2026 He&amp;#039;s hideous! The unibrow, the acne, the Cro-Magnon-like jaw and nose.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re so superficial. What do you care, anyway? It&amp;#039;s not like you&amp;#039;re dating him.&amp;quot;  The reason I care is because Mom asked me what I thought of him that night. He was watching the football game, and I was in the kitchen washing dishes. All of a sudden, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and Mom was standing behind me. I don&amp;#039;t know how she found me. Maybe I have an odor. Anyway, she got at a sort of uncomfortably close distance and said, &amp;quot;Is he as hot as everyone says?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;s a very nice man,&amp;quot; I said.  &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s so strange not to really be able to see someone. I can see shapes and textures, but it&amp;#039;s mostly a blur. But he looks so solid to me, like a real mensch. &amp;quot;  I don&amp;#039;t speak Yiddish, but if mensch means gorilla, then she wasn&amp;#039;t far off. &amp;quot;Ma, I&amp;#039;m a guy. We don&amp;#039;t notice these sorts of things. Ask Becky.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;She says he&amp;#039;s dreamy. And he&amp;#039;s a doctor, too. I don&amp;#039;t know what he sees in me. Divorced twice, blind as a bat. I&amp;#039;m not exactly a catch.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s crazy. Don&amp;#039;t say stuff like that. You&amp;#039;re smart, and beautiful, worldly\u2026&amp;quot; &amp;quot;And rich. But he couldn&amp;#039;t possibly want my money. He has a lot more than me.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Don&amp;#039;t even go there. Of course he doesn&amp;#039;t.&amp;quot;  I helped her sit down. It was very difficult to watch Mom so helpless. She was always the tough one, fiercely independent. Now she&amp;#039;s completely dependent on others. I might be devastated if she wasn&amp;#039;t so calm about the whole situation.  &amp;quot;He wants to move in,&amp;quot; she said.  &amp;quot;Didn&amp;#039;t you guys just meet?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;I know, but he says when you know, you know. You know?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;No. It&amp;#039;s too soon, and why would you move in together anyway? It&amp;#039;s not like you need to save on the rent.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;I guess you could just say it&amp;#039;s been love at first sight.&amp;quot;  How can you say that when you can&amp;#039;t even see? That&amp;#039;s what I wanted to say. What I said was something more along the lines of, &amp;quot;I would just think this through really long and hard before you move too quickly. You&amp;#039;ve only been divorced a short while. You need alone time.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;I hate alone time. That&amp;#039;s when I start thinking about what&amp;#039;s happening to me, and I get scared out my mind.&amp;quot;  That was the end of our conversation, and I still feel awful for not coming clean entirely. I don&amp;#039;t want to break up the happy couple, and this guy is obviously good for Mom. But when someone asks you point-blank if her boyfriend is hot, but he, in fact, looks like the Geico caveman \u2014 then I feel it&amp;#039;s your moral duty to at least be truthful. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/mens-perspective/a2385/diary-he-112607/>