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"  I have an on-and-off-again friendship with my &amp;quot;friend&amp;quot; of 15 years we keep in touch for a couple of years, then drop off again. We&amp;#039;re &amp;quot;on again&amp;quot; now, and she calls four or five times a day and wants to talk endlessly about nothing. But I have a part-time job, a 5-year-old, and chores to do. The worst part is that she seems obsessed with my husband. She wants to know his schedule, his likes, dislikes, and daily routine. I&amp;#039;m not worried about him wanting to be with her, but she&amp;#039;s driving me crazy. I want to be nice, but I don&amp;#039;t think I can hold on much longer. What should I do? T.J., 32, Montgomery, AL I&amp;#039;m pleased to tell you that you can be nice and still get your point across provided your point is, &amp;quot;Hey, I would love to chat, but I&amp;#039;m at work/mowing the lawn/reading little Dylan a story.&amp;quot; Because really, you are busy, and however many times a day she wants to shoot the breeze is irrelevant. You can handle it a number of ways: Don&amp;#039;t answer the phone until you&amp;#039;re willing and able to chat; answer and ask if you can call her back when you&amp;#039;re free; or limit your conversations to 10 minutes or so, then beg off.   I bet a big part of what&amp;#039;s stopped you from addressing this situation, however, is her weird obsession with your husband; as much as it bugs you, you feel awkward bringing it up. When in doubt, just be straightforward. Ask her in a friendly way what gives. Say, &amp;quot;Listen, Lulu, I appreciate your interest in whether Ed uses waxed or unwaxed dental floss, but I gotta ask why are you so curious?&amp;quot;   Speaking your mind will clear the air it&amp;#039;s rather amazing that such a basic behavior can be so liberating. Once you get the awkward husband-obsession issue off your chest, you&amp;#039;ll feel more free to bring up other matters, including her constant calling. You&amp;#039;ll be able to say kindly, and without any hidden resentment, when it&amp;#039;s not good for you to talk. I also imagine this will help you maintain a friendship that&amp;#039;s &amp;quot;on&amp;quot; in a way that&amp;#039;s satisfying for both of you.   Award-winning writer Karen Karbo is the author of How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great. She&amp;#039;s also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner. Send your questions to her at: The Hard Stuff, REDBOOK, 300 W. 57th St., New York, NY 10019 or karenkarbo@redbookmag.com . Letters may be edited for clarity and length, and must include your initials, age, city, and state. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/friends-family/q-and-a/a2551/hs-friend-calling/>