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" Before Melissa Ben-Ishay launched her business selling bite-size cupcakes, she was slogging away at an unfulfilling job. She ended up getting fired but now says it&amp;#039;s the best thing that ever happened to her. Five years after Ben-Ishay started the company from her Manhattan apartment, Baked by Melissa now sells tiny treats at 14 stores in the New York area. She talked to Cosmopolitan.com about not knowing what you want to do, the importance of being nice, and how she comes up with so many new flavors.  I grew up in northern New Jersey right outside of Manhattan with an older brother I was very close with and two parents who encouraged us to do everything and anything we could think of. Driving to school every morning, my dad would give me the same speech: You can do anything you set your mind to. I went to Syracuse University. I was a major in Child and Family Studies \u2014 undecided, basically, but I knew that one day I wanted to be a mom, so I thought I would use it anyway. In Syracuse, it&amp;#039;s very cold, and I would pick a couch over a crowded bar any night of the week, so I started baking regularly. I had baked before college, but being at Syracuse gave me more free time to pursue it. It was arts and crafts, and you could eat your project. When I graduated, I wasn&amp;#039;t sure what I wanted to do. I thought advertising sounded cool, so I got my first job out of college at a media sales company as a sales assistant. I did data entry: I sat at a desk, and I took info from one piece of paper and input it into a template on a computer that was manufactured in 1994. I remember watching The Office, and I was like, &amp;quot;Oh my god, that&amp;#039;s my job.&amp;quot; I was only there for about seven months, but I made a lot of great friends, one of whom was a guy who loved the same kind of music I do \u2014 classic rock, Grateful Dead, Allman Brothers. The day before his 30th birthday, I asked him what he was going to do to celebrate, and he said he was just going to be listening to music. I pictured him in his room alone and I felt so sad for him, so I decided to make him Grateful Dead cupcakes. I made them tie-dye, red, white, and blue. I put the skeleton face on top of each one. I remember walking into work the next day and seeing people&amp;#039;s facial expressions when they saw them, and I was like, &amp;quot;I love this.&amp;quot; That was the first batch of tie-dye cupcakes I ever made. From then on, if I loved you and it was your birthday \u2014 and I love a lot of people \u2014 I made you tie-dye cupcakes.   After the ad job I went to work as an assistant media planner at a sales agency. The environment was much cooler \u2014 it was a huge workspace in Chelsea, there were scooters, you got to wear whatever you want. But the work itself was meh. I was inputting information into Excel sheets and running competitive, which was just seeing where other brands in the same market were spending their money in advertising, and making lots of copies of decks for meetings. I didn&amp;#039;t know how to work hard. I didn&amp;#039;t like my job, and I worked with a lot of women who I sometimes felt didn&amp;#039;t like me very much. I&amp;#039;ve always gotten along with boys well, and as far as girls go, that&amp;#039;s where most of the conflict has been throughout my life. But that said, I think it&amp;#039;s important that all women stick together, and it&amp;#039;s something I go out of my way to do today, to strengthen my relationships with other women. The gossip and even the way women talk about celebrities and other women \u2014 it&amp;#039;s a disgrace. I can&amp;#039;t tell you the last time I saw a man speak negatively about another man the way so many of us women do about other women. Yeah, I always related to guys, but I think everyone needs to be as nice as you can to everybody, especially other women. I was fired from that job after a year and a half. They said I was being fired because I had left early without permission, but I hadn&amp;#039;t. The truth is that it just wasn&amp;#039;t a good fit. I thought it was unfair, but now that I&amp;#039;ve had the opportunity to experience all these amazing things at this place I am so passionate about, I&amp;#039;ve learned a lot. In any job, especially one you want to grow in, you need to do everything that&amp;#039;s asked of you and then some. A lot of people want to be the editor-in-chief of a magazine or own their own company but don&amp;#039;t know how to work hard. Luckily I started something magical that I&amp;#039;m in love with, and it showed me that everything is step-by-step. There&amp;#039;s no huge jump from an assistant job to a supervisor role. It&amp;#039;s consistency, it&amp;#039;s working very hard, and it&amp;#039;s asking yourself, &amp;quot;How could I be better?&amp;quot; which is not an easy thing to do. They told me to pack up my personal belongings and I would be escorted out by the director of HR. I looked around my cubicle, and I was like, &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t need any of this stuff,&amp;quot; so I called my older brother, who had just moved into his own office in Manhattan \u2014 he&amp;#039;s the definition of an entrepreneur \u2014 and I&amp;#039;m crying and his instant gut response was, &amp;quot;Don&amp;#039;t worry, it&amp;#039;s the best thing that ever happened to you. Come to my office.&amp;quot; I looked around one last time and grabbed my Rolodex \u2014 I still have it; it&amp;#039;s a keepsake, like a little trophy.  When I got to his office, my brother said, &amp;quot;I got it. Go home, bake your cupcakes. I&amp;#039;ll help you start a business.&amp;quot; The amazing thing is I listened. He said, &amp;quot;You can&amp;#039;t start a business with one prototype, so come up with two others.&amp;quot; I went home and baked four batches of cupcakes: Tie-dye, peanut butter cup, cookie dough, and s&amp;#039;mores. My best friend&amp;#039;s little sister was staying with me for the summer, and she was interning at a PR firm that&amp;#039;s known for having all of these fashion and lifestyle brands. I said, &amp;quot;Why don&amp;#039;t you bring these cupcakes with you tomorrow? At the very least you&amp;#039;ll make some new friends.&amp;quot; They were a huge hit. The owner of the firm started introducing me to people, and my brother helped with branding and business cards. I did corporate events, fashion showrooms, tastings, and other events, and I would always place a stack of business cards in front of the cupcakes, so people would get in touch to order Baked by Melissa for their events. I would also cold-call catering companies being like, &amp;quot;This is Melissa from Baked by Melissa. Would you like a sample tasting of my cupcakes?&amp;quot; I worked out of my apartment baking for seven months. I woke up, put on my sweatpants, baked, and watched the TV shows that the moms who stay at home watch. I had to motivate myself every single day. But I knew I had to do every single thing I could do to reach my goal of \u2014 I didn&amp;#039;t even know what exactly at the time, but continuing to bake the cupcakes and somehow making money from it. We had no funding, and I had no savings. Luckily, starting up didn&amp;#039;t cost very much. We started the company with bite-size cupcakes. I always liked variety \u2014 I would go to a bakery and order two cupcakes so that I could try both \u2014 and we realized we needed to find a niche in the market. Every time a company or an individual placed an order, I would get paid and turn around and buy more supplies to make more cupcakes. I was living with two girls in a one-bedroom apartment converted to three, so my rent was OK by New York City standards. I enlisted key people in my life who had skills that I didn&amp;#039;t \u2014 that&amp;#039;s just as valuable, if not more valuable, than money. My brother had that entrepreneurial spirit. I had the creative side, the baking, and the product. A friend had restaurant experience, and another had PR and catering experience, so they offered advice.  One of the tastings I went on, probably at month five of working out of my apartment, was at a little caf\u00E9 in SoHo called Caf\u00E9 Bari. I remember the owner took a tie-dye cupcake, popped it into his mouth, and said, &amp;quot;I love you, I am storing you in my phone as Cupcake, and we&amp;#039;ll be in touch.&amp;quot; He called me a few weeks later and said, &amp;quot;Hey Cupcake, it&amp;#039;s the guy from Bari. I have an idea: I do a holiday market in Union Square, and I think your cupcakes could make a killing. How about you use some of the extra space in my kitchen, bake from here, and sell them at the market as Baked by Melissa?&amp;quot; I started crying when I saw this kitchen I could be baking out of. Crying in the streets of New York is one of my least favorite things to do. But I just remember waiting for the N train crying, and I was like, &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s fine, I&amp;#039;m happy!&amp;quot; I moved all of my stuff into Caf\u00E9 Bari on November 27, 2008. We hired our first employee to help me bake. The two of us baked 14 hours a day, seven days a week of the six-week period that the Union Square holiday market was open. My arms were so toned! The holiday market in Union Square was such a big success that Baked by Melissa opened in the Bryant Park holiday market and the Columbus Circle holiday market in this short six-week period of time. We sold out every day. When the holidays were over, we realized we had this amazing opportunity, so we decided to open our first location, which was the pickup window at Caf\u00E9 Bari \u2014 this little window for these little cupcakes.  Opening day was March 5, 2009. I was freaking out. For opening day we found someone who could work the window so I could relax and talk to customers, and we baked enough cupcakes so we wouldn&amp;#039;t run out. I was thinking, &amp;quot;Who is going to stop at this hole-in-the-wall and buy cupcakes they&amp;#039;ve never heard of before?&amp;quot; But people did buy them. I was sitting at the bar at Caf\u00E9 Bari, which is right next to the window, so I could supervise, and David Z, who owns all these shoe stores all over Manhattan, was sitting next to me. He looks at the bartender, who I&amp;#039;ve never met before, and he says, &amp;quot;Who is this beautiful girl?&amp;quot; The bartender says, &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s my wife.&amp;quot; My first response was, What a douchebag. But I ended up marrying him.  At Caf\u00E9 Bari I was mostly baking. We had some employees who worked the window, and when they would go on their break, I would take over. When I&amp;#039;m in the kitchen, I can bake and all of a sudden it&amp;#039;s 3 p.m. It was always hard for me to stop and go up to the window and work. I dreaded it every time because I wanted to stay in the kitchen, and every time I was proven wrong, because there is nothing more fulfilling than giving someone cupcakes. It&amp;#039;s like, &amp;quot;Here&amp;#039;s a box of happiness; have a good day!&amp;quot; Our next location opened June 10, 2010. That was a real store you could walk into. It was on Union Square, and I opened that store, I managed that store, I did everything \u2014 I actually just recently found this Excel sheet where I had all the employees&amp;#039; names written and their birthdays and what they loved to eat.  When we opened our second store, I stopped baking in the Caf\u00E9 Bari kitchen and moved all of the baking into one central kitchen, just outside of the city. In November 2010, we opened a store near Grand Central. We now have 14 stores in the New York metro area. We opened a location in JFK airport in the JetBlue terminal, which was really awesome, and we opened in the Roosevelt Field mall in Long Island. My role has completely evolved. At the beginning I was doing everything \u2014 baking, boxing, delivering, talking to customers probably picturing me in a real bakery. Slowly as we opened more stores, I learned to hire people who were better at particular things than I was. At one point there were not enough minutes in the day for me to do everything that I should have been doing, but with any growing company, you need to relinquish some control. At this time last year, I was very much involved in the stores and the product development and the branding and the creative behind our social media, and I&amp;#039;m still working on finding a balance. Today I can confidently say my role is product development and being the face behind the brand. I create the cupcake flavors, and I&amp;#039;m taking Instagram pictures a lot of time. I spend half my time in the kitchen and half my time in the office. I wake up at 5:15. I drink my coffee and watch the news. I sometimes walk to work from my apartment, because I think of a lot of good ideas when I walk in that hour. When I get to the office, I go through my emails, I usually have a meeting about marketing or social media or merchandising or something like that, and I make sure to have conversations with all the employees I see because I like to know about them. When I&amp;#039;m in the office, I&amp;#039;m usually preparing for when I&amp;#039;m going to the kitchen. I do lots of market research \u2014 going and getting candy and baked goods that I love. When I&amp;#039;m in the kitchen, I usually have four ideas for new flavors, and I bake the whole time I&amp;#039;m there.  Any time I bake a new flavor, it had been marinating in my head for months. By the time I get to the kitchen and I make it, I know. My best recipes usually work right away \u2014 I&amp;#039;ll have the ingredients in front of me, and I&amp;#039;ll know this is going to be amazing. There are ones that are more difficult and take a few rounds of trial and error, but I&amp;#039;m a very determined person, and when I want something to work, I can usually get it to work. I&amp;#039;ve created over 100 flavors, so naturally the more I create, the more difficult it becomes, but I love the challenge. I like flavor combinations that bring you back to your childhood. I&amp;#039;ll think, &amp;quot;These flavors work together because it was in a candy bar I loved to eat as a little kid.&amp;quot; I&amp;#039;m not sure what&amp;#039;s next. I do know that we will continue to grow, and I promise to continue to bake flavors that knock your socks off. Asking me what cupcake I would eat for the rest of my life if I could only eat one is like asking me if I could only live with one of my children \u2014 not that I even have children. I would have to go with peanut butter and jelly. It&amp;#039;s a special flavor because it can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, you name it \u2014 and peanut butter has protein! It&amp;#039;s healthy, right? That&amp;#039;s what my mom would say. Get That Life is a weekly series that reveals how successful, talented, creative women got to where they are now. Check back each Monday for the latest interview. RELATED: Get That Life: How I Became a First Amendment Lawyer Get That Life: How I Became a Professional Cheese Eater Get That Life: How I Founded Jezebel and Became a New York Times Columnist Get That Life: How I Used Social Media to Become a World-Famous Yoga Instructor Follow Jill on Twitter. Photo credit: Kathleen Kamphausen for Cosmopolitan.com. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/career/advice/a7145/get-that-life-melissa-ben-ishay-cupcakes/>