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"Welcome back and happy New Year, dearest Storked! readers. I&amp;#x27;ve missed you. May I start the year by saying I think I&amp;#x27;m a good mom--I do. I take JD to story time at our local Borders when I should be working (but who can work when you have a two-year-old to look after, right? Might as well have some fun while I&amp;#x27;m doing this freelance thing). My son? He can count to 20! Seriously folks, my kid asks for salad! So, yeah, this mom thing, I have it down. That is, if we can void out the fact that I suck at putting toys together and can&amp;#x27;t follow the directions for how to assemble this-and-that Lego masterpiece. Allow me to explain. So yesterday my dad comes over to play with JD. He walks in with a box (apparently a Christmas gift that was on back order). Great, JD really needs more gifts. It&amp;#x27;s some sort of deluxe Diego the Explorer tree-house toy (check it out here). It has 79 pieces. Lord, I can feel my blood bubbling. &amp;quot;Good luck with that, Dad,&amp;quot; I say as I leave for a much-needed pedicure (we leave for vacay on Wed!) and start to obsess about how I will no doubt soon be obsessing over this-and-that missing piece. HELLO, I&amp;#x27;ve been looking for the cat-puzzle piece for two months now. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and think about it--and JD&amp;#x27;s missing red sock. Eeeep-I know, folks, I need to chill. Seriously though, I can&amp;#x27;t put toys together or follow the micro-print directions. I&amp;#x27;m missing the smart chip when it comes to assembling things. The kind folks at Lego sent JD a bunch of sets to test out. He went bonkers when I gave him this one: And OK, it&amp;#x27;s for ages four and older, but it was snowing and we were bored and, hello, I&amp;#x27;m 29 and have a college degree. I can totally assemble a toy. Right? Wrong. I whipped out the directions, and there&amp;#x27;s just so much text and imagery, I turn to JD and say, &amp;quot;Doll, don&amp;#x27;t conform. Express yourself.&amp;quot; I make this theory even more awesome by clapping my hands and squealing--JD is down...he starts clapping too. Atta boy! So we made three trucks (that look absolutely nothing like the ones on the box), but JD loved &amp;#x27;em just the same and, woo-hoo, I didn&amp;#x27;t lose my mind. Is anyone else with me when it comes to toys and their 5,000 pieces? Have you ever lost your mind looking for Barbie&amp;#x27;s high heel or comb? Are you good at assembling your kid&amp;#x27;s toys? To my non-mom readers, what about assembling furniture from Ikea? Does that drive you nuts? Maybe it&amp;#x27;s just me. Have you ever lost a teeny-tiny item like the wand to an eyeshadow compact and gone crazy over its whereabouts? What was the last thing you lost? Most important, what do you think of our trucks, or &amp;quot;vrrroooms, vrrroooms&amp;quot; as JD calls em? Awesome or atrocity? Awesome. *** Check out this doll that little girls are supposed to breast-feed! Stop losing your beauty supplies (and obsessing over their whereabouts)--organize em like this. Shy readers look away--everyone else, check out this ahem, adult toy. *** More Ways to Get Glamour You could win $50,000 just for registering for or logging in to Glamour.com! Sign up for Glamour.com&amp;#x27;s Style Tips of the Week and Beauty Tip of the Day newsletters! Add Glamour to your iGoogle homepage. Follow us on Twitter."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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