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" So-called mainstream rock and roll has been buried and gone for so long it&amp;#039;s hard to remember what the official cause of death was. After a run of so many diseases\u2014illegal downloads, the inexplicable popularity of televised singing pageants, the Doritos-Cheese-Blasted Stage branded experience model, bourgeois festival vacation packaging, the protracted Bieberfication of youth culture\u2014the idiom ended up looking every bit as animated as one of the storied rock star corpses so often found peppered throughout its sordid history.  Or so we thought. A new lawsuit filed on Tuesday in Los Angeles by a security guard once employed at Universal Music Publishing Group&amp;#039;s offices and studios in Santa Monica has unveiled some shocking news, suggesting that the reports of rock and roll&amp;#039;s demise may have been at least somewhat partially exaggerated.  Ironically, it&amp;#039;s one of the chief emblems of rock and roll&amp;#039;s slow, grim march unto the void that&amp;#039;s renewed our faith that there may be some life left in the old boy&amp;#039;s bones just yet, with Adam Levine of Maroon 5 and NBC&amp;#039;s The Voice showing up as one of the chief characters in this production(which is like finding out the cause of the disease is also the cure, but in these beggarly times we&amp;#039;ll take what we can get). Levine, and other big stars under the employ of Universal Music Group\u2014who, let&amp;#039;s be honest, haven&amp;#039;t been doing rock any favors for a while now\u2014are keeping the flame of sex drugs and rock and roll alive. Also the flame of a lot of joints. Lots and lots of joints.  The plaintiff, an unnamed 41-year-old woman, also known as the least chill security guard in the world, is speaking out against a culture of &amp;quot;pervasive drug use&amp;quot;, and a hedonistic, orgy-like atmosphere at the music conglomerate&amp;#039;s west coast offices. The complaint, which you can read in full here, reads like a Californication-style paean to Hollywood debauchery, but with the added bonus actually being funny.  &amp;quot;It became clear that on the premises, the Federal and State laws concerning illegal drug use did not apply to [Universal Music Publishing Group],&amp;quot; the suit sates. &amp;quot;And that the phrase &amp;#039;anything goes&amp;#039; applied to the premises.&amp;quot;  To wit, the evidence of anything allegedly going:  Among the artists that the plaintiff is said to have witnessed using drugs include Macy Gray, guests of Jamie Foxx, Future, MC Ren, T.I. and his wife&amp;#039;s entourage. &amp;quot;Some artists would offer drugs to Plaintiff which she declined, asking does she &amp;#039;want to hit it,&amp;#039; referring drugs that they were smoking from a pipe,&amp;quot; which, thanks for clarifying, law dude.   On another occasion, Adam Levine, probably brooding over his abs, was just trying to get his relax on in the studio, when our girl here narced on him. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s Adam Levine,&amp;quot; her manager told her. &amp;quot;You know, from Maroon 5 \u2026 He can do whatever he wants \u2026 If he wants to come into the lobby and do a line of cocaine on the floor it&amp;#039;s okay.&amp;quot;  It is okay, goddammit. Say what you will about the food-court-core of Maroon 5, but we&amp;#039;re going to rest a little easier tonight knowing that at least someone is out there living the rock and roll dream for the rest of us.  On another occasion the plaintiff was told by bodyguards for T.I. that they couldn&amp;#039;t move his vehicle because, as one said &amp;quot;I gotta be able to get this boy outta here if a shootout or something goes down.&amp;quot; And when rapper YG was supposed to arrive, the plaintiff was told, she says, to be on the lookout for guns, but to not do anything about it &amp;quot;until there&amp;#039;s a body floating in the pond over there.&amp;quot;  That&amp;#039;s the problem with music now\u2014there are never any bodies floating in the pond, they&amp;#039;re standing around the pond taking pictures of it and uploading them to Instagram. It&amp;#039;s all water, no wet.   Elsewhere, the complaint references bras hanging in the studio, &amp;quot;employees engaged in intimate touching and grinding, involving buttocks and genitalia&amp;quot; (which is the best kind of grinding we&amp;#039;re told), people passed out in the showers after partying, and, perhaps the most indicative anecdote of all: &amp;quot;condoms plastered in the men&amp;#039;s bathroom.&amp;quot;   Condoms might not be very rock and roll, but it&amp;#039;s close enough in a cultural landscape of One Directions and Brothers Jonii to give us a little hope.  But with sympathy to the security guard who had to wade through more haze than a London firefighter just to get down the hall at work, isn&amp;#039;t all this actually kind of reassuring? Call us old fashioned, but if a group of hip-hop and rock stars can&amp;#039;t completely bum out a 41-year-old security guard, then they&amp;#039;re not doing their jobs. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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