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"  If you&amp;#039;ve ever signed up for Tinder or OkCupid, chances are you&amp;#039;ve received a raunchy message at least once. Case in point, this collection of some of the saddest &amp;quot;pick-up lines&amp;quot; I&amp;#039;ve ever seen. And thanks to Twitter and Instagram&amp;#039;s new direct-messaging capabilities, it&amp;#039;s likely you&amp;#039;ve been sent a perfectly cropped dick pic with a nice sepia filter, even if you weren&amp;#039;t looking for love (or penises) online. Not every guy behaves like this, but unfortunately, many do. (And it is almost always men. About three-quarters of those harassed online are women.) The guys sending you their unsolicited wieners resort to totally insane sociopathy online because they have high expectations (of women stripping naked and demanding sex immediately after meeting) and low real-life success rates (because no women actually do that). Now, if a man said some of this stuff to a woman in person, he&amp;#039;d get a drink thrown in his face \u2014 and then possibly maced and/or stabbed \u2014 but behind the safety of his computer screen, he figures, &amp;quot;Why the hell not?&amp;quot; Even some of the comparatively appropriate messages online are flailing at best. These guys are probably awkward in person and insecure around women, but when they log on, they suddenly become Guy Fieri: weirdly offensive even when they&amp;#039;re not trying to be, and, yeah, you can picture every single one of them wearing a button-down short-sleeve shirt with flames on it. These are men whose weak social mores are bolstered by their desperation to get laid. (There are real criminal creeps out there, but that&amp;#039;s a different story.) Los Angeles-based columnist Alli Reed recently created the &amp;quot;worst fake dating profile in history&amp;quot; featuring a photo of her attractive model friend. Even though the profile is racist and insane, and despite the fact that she threatened to physically mutilate her potential suitors via amateur dental work, men still asked for her number. I repeat: some men are willing to have their teeth pulled by a psychopath if it gets them into her pants. Sure, meeting people through &amp;quot;web 3.0&amp;quot; (or whatever web we&amp;#039;re on right now) is hard. &amp;quot;Hi,&amp;quot; usually a strong conversation lead-in in its own right, can be pretty ineffective online. As one anonymous online dating veteran put it, &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s not enough to just send a message. You have to be funny and outrageous to even be noticed.&amp;quot; It&amp;#039;s like competing on &amp;quot;The X-Factor&amp;quot;: You can&amp;#039;t just show up, you need something that separates you from everyone else. For some people, that something is exposing their junk. It may or may not work, but it certainly does, um, stand out. It seems outrageous, but for rude-on-the-Internet dudes it comes down to a numbers game. If you send out enough invitations to women to sit on your face, or enough flattering penis pictures, eventually someone, somewhere will say yes. The idea of finding this stuff in their inbox might turn off the majority of women, but that isn&amp;#039;t all. Men have reported finding success with this tactic, and some women have admitted to finding it compelling. A few Reddit users shared their stories of success with dirty messages and dick pics. User &amp;quot;sexinthepark&amp;quot; mentioned that she had one OkCupid user send a few messages that were a turn-off at first, but she ended up &amp;quot;fucking him out of bored horniness.&amp;quot; User &amp;quot;hung_ent,&amp;quot; who has a pretty applicable name, apparently had some luck because of his unusual size. Although he&amp;#039;s had women want to meet up just because they were intrigued by his package, he said he wouldn&amp;#039;t want to find a girlfriend that way. The gist is, Internet creeping can actually work. We&amp;#039;re left with the world&amp;#039;s skeeziest statisticians playing the odds until they find someone else crazy enough to actually respond, and the hundreds of other women receiving creepy messages and sexts are the collateral damage. The bonus for these guys is that they&amp;#039;re guaranteed to find women who are \u2014 pardon me \u2014 DTF. No wooing or real effort required, as long as they can face a few hundred rejections. It&amp;#039;s awful and horrendous and disturbing, but it comes down to some sexually suggestive number crunching. So as offensive as it is to wake up to three texts from your mom and one surprise &amp;quot;u wanna fuk?&amp;quot;, the silver lining is that it saves you the time and energy of having to talk to this guy in person for five minutes before you find out he&amp;#039;s a horrendous person. In a sense, it&amp;#039;s kind of like a wonderful social shortcut. Alright, no, I&amp;#039;m sorry. It&amp;#039;s still gross and demeaning and there&amp;#039;s no excuse for it. Photo Credit: Universal Want more from Frank? Follow him on Twitter. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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