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"  I woke up with a pit in my stomach. I rolled over with the vain hope that Justin would be lying there, eyes wide open, feeling just as crappy as I did about what went down last night. Then we would kiss and make up and everything would be alright in a Bob Marley kind of way. That hope quickly dissipated when I saw the empty spot next to me.  I sat up and rummaged around the sheets, thinking, if I find a freaking post it note in here that says, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m sorry. I can&amp;#039;t,&amp;quot; I will quit life. But nothing.  I looked at my phone. No texts, no missed calls. Had Justin really just left without saying a word?  Just as I was about to call Nina and vent it out, I heard the front door open. I froze.  &amp;quot;Justin?&amp;quot; I called out.  &amp;quot;Hello!&amp;quot; His voice was upbeat. Cheerful, even.  He appeared in my doorway holding two Starbucks cups. &amp;quot;I got you a cappuccino.&amp;quot; He sat on the edge of my bed and handed me the coffee.  &amp;quot;Thanks,&amp;quot; I took it from him. &amp;quot;That was really nice.&amp;quot;  We both took a pull from our drinks. I gave Justin a moment to address the big label-less elephant in the room. When he finely spoke, what came out of his mouth wasn&amp;#039;t at all what I expected. &amp;quot;Let&amp;#039;s go for a run in Prospect Park in Brooklyn today. I think we&amp;#039;ve both had enough of Central Park.&amp;quot;   Apparently, Justin graduated from the school of &amp;quot;If we don&amp;#039;t talk about the problem, it will just go away!&amp;quot; I was going to have to make the leap here. I placed my coffee on my nightstand and sat up straighter. &amp;quot;Um, don&amp;#039;t you think we should talk about last night?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;No, actually,&amp;quot; Justin said. &amp;quot;You said to take a few days and think about it, so that&amp;#039;s what I&amp;#039;m going to do.&amp;quot;  Damnit, I did say that! But I was thinking more along the lines of him taking a few days to himself to think about it. I didn&amp;#039;t envision us skipping through Prospect Park while he figured out whether or not he was in a place to give me a real commitment.  &amp;quot;Don&amp;#039;t you think we should spend a little time apart while you do that?&amp;quot; I asked.  &amp;quot;Is that what you want?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s not a matter of what I want,&amp;quot; I said. I could feel my exasperation building. This whole\u2014let&amp;#039;s hang out all the time but not be a couple\u2014was the source of my frustration. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s a matter of what makes sense. How can you really give this serious consideration if we&amp;#039;re together all the time?&amp;quot;  Justin rolled his head to the left and right, stretching out his neck, and making it crystal freaking clear just how stressful this whole conversation was to him. &amp;quot;Okay, fine,&amp;quot; he said. He stood up. &amp;quot;How about I call you on Wednesday, then?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Okay.&amp;quot; I nodded.  Justin stood at the foot of my bed, awkwardly. &amp;quot;Okay, bye.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Bye,&amp;quot; I parroted, just as awkwardly.  Justin turned to leave then paused. He turned around again, bent over, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. It was sweet, intimate. I thought about the night we snuggled in his bed, during his cancer scare, and how he had told me I meant so much to him. Tears formed in the corners of my eyes. &amp;quot;Bye,&amp;quot; he said again.  I waited until I heard my front door close before I let the tears fall. I looked at the clock\u20149:45 a.m. I gave myself five minutes to have a good cry. Then I called Nina.  &amp;quot;Brunch, stat,&amp;quot; I said, in lieu of a &amp;#039;hello.&amp;#039;&amp;quot;  An hour later, Nina and I were nursing mimosas and cutting our eggs benedict in half. &amp;quot;So he was acting normal this morning?&amp;quot; Nina asked.  &amp;quot;Not just normal. Nice. Repentant even.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s like he knows he&amp;#039;s a douche and he&amp;#039;s sorry about it but not sorry about it enough to change it.&amp;quot;  I nodded my head. &amp;quot;Spot on.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Well, hopefully a few days without your hot ass will make him realize how much he wants it,&amp;quot; Nina said.  &amp;quot;And how much he wants it to be his girlfriend,&amp;quot; I added.  Nina stopped eating for a second. &amp;quot;What if he says if he isn&amp;#039;t? Ready to have a girlfriend, that is.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Then I&amp;#039;m going to tell him to call me when he is, but also that I can&amp;#039;t make any promises that I&amp;#039;ll feel the same way if and when he does come around.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;How many times have you practiced that in front of the mirror?&amp;quot; Nina asked.  &amp;quot;Half a dozen,&amp;quot; I admitted.  After brunch, Nina and I went drunk shopping. I bought a backless jumpsuit against Nina&amp;#039;s better judgment (Direct quote: &amp;quot;That thing is pure man repellant.&amp;quot;). I&amp;#039;m doing my best to keep myself busy until Wednesday. Hopefully, when Justin and I talk, I&amp;#039;ll get my happy ending\u2014in both the Disney movie and shady massage parlor kind of way.  Want more from Josie? Follow her on Twitter @bedroomblog. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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