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" If you didn&amp;#039;t think Lance Armstrong \u2014 a doper, and a jerk, and a liar, and a cheat, and the guy who broke Sheryl Crow&amp;#039;s heart \u2014 could find any other way to alienate himself with regards to the American public, well, just wait. Apparently, his U.S. Postal teammate Jonathan Vaughters admitted in a sworn affidavit to the United States Anti-Doping Agency that Armstrong always planned to play the cancer card if he was ever pinned for doping. Vaughters said that Lance felt the UCI, cycling&amp;#039;s governing body, was at least partly responsible for the extent of his testicular cancer after failing to detect high levels of Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, an inconvenient sign of both cancer and doping, in his system. So if he was ever caught for the crime he could just throw that back in their faces.  No one&amp;#039;s sure if that exchange happened, but Lance brought up cancer six times during the first half of his interview with Oprah last week, including one time when he cancer-dropped to explain how his survivor instinct drove his competitive spirit as a cyclist, and led to his doping. &amp;quot;It was win at all costs. When I was diagnosed I would do anything to survive. I took that attitude \u2014 win at all costs \u2014 to cycling. That&amp;#039;s bad.&amp;quot;  And he added:  &amp;quot;My cocktail, so to speak, was EPO, but not a lot, transfusions and testosterone ... Which in a weird way I justified because of my history of testicular cancer... Surely I&amp;#039;m running low.&amp;quot; America&amp;#039;s feelings toward cycling being what they are, it&amp;#039;s safe to say that the real reason anyone gave a shit about Armstrong up to this point was his cancer narrative, and maybe because he was beating the French. But regardless of his recent admission on Oprah, Lance is still a survivor and one the greatest warriors in the on-going fight, having raised nearly $500 million in funding through his Livestrong Charity since its inception in 1997. And so, if anyone has earned, or, if you can, purchased the right to play the cancer card, it&amp;#039;s him. We just wish he&amp;#039;d finally realize that, similar to Joseph Gordon-Levitt picking up chicks in a bar in 50/50, using the disease to your advantage is wrong and it&amp;#039;s weird and it doesn&amp;#039;t sound cool. Follow The Culture Blog on RSS and on Twitter at @ESQCulture. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/sports/a18297/lance-armstrong-cancer-card-15012247/?click=news>