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" I think my dog can program NBC better than Zucker, Kevin Reilly, and their highly paid team can. And I&amp;#039;m gonna prove it. Yesterday I laid out all the scripts of NBC&amp;#039;s pilots across my living-room floor. Then I invited my dog, Iggy, a nine-month-old terrier mix, to select the schedule. &amp;quot;C&amp;#039;mon, program NBC, be a good boy.&amp;quot; Here, his findings. Iggy&amp;#039;s Thoughts on NBC&amp;#039;s New Lineup The Office: Iggy dropped a slobber- covered pig&amp;#039;s ear on this Americanized version of the British sitcom slated for midseason. Good point, Ig. You&amp;#039;d think NBC would have learned after the Coupling disaster. My mutt cocked his head as if to ask, &amp;quot;If people really hate the sound of English accents that much, couldn&amp;#039;t you just dub the British version with people from Brooklyn?&amp;quot; Father of the Pride: Iggy fell asleep on it. I guess he doesn&amp;#039;t believe that lions can talk. And if they could, they wouldn&amp;#039;t waste their speech on that dialogue. Average Joe, part 3: The premise: Can a drop-dead-gorgeous woman fall for an ordinary-looking guy? Apparently not. Iggy threw up on my Average Joe folder. Iggy&amp;#039;s NBC Lineup (All his choices are shelved pilots.) Beverly Hills S.U.V.: Humped it. From the creator of The Bernie Mac Show, this is like Glengarry Glen Ross. But with cars. And Iggy loves cars. The Friendlys: Iggy licked it. The Dave Foley/Ana Gasteyer sitcom about a family-run candy company contains lines like &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m Bebe, your father&amp;#039;s last wife. He died inside of me.&amp;quot; Well, it&amp;#039;s better than any line on Good Morning Miami ever. My 11:30: Wagged his tail for Jeff Goldblum as a playboy in therapy. It&amp;#039;s got good ass jokes. That Iggy loves asses. And he owns The Fly on DVD. NOTE TO NBC: Iggy is available for next fall&amp;#039;s development meetings. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/a2345/esq0904-dog/>