<http://schema.org/articleBody>
" When our two daughters were little, they&amp;#039;d greet my husband and me with wild enthusiasm whenever we walked in the door, and they often cried miserably when we left. More recently, however, they had sometimes barely looked up from their games or homework or books when we walked in or out. It was a relief, in a way, but also a little sad. And too often, my husband and I didn&amp;#039;t give warm greetings or farewells to the girls or to each other, either.  I had already made a long-standing resolution to &amp;quot;hug more, kiss more, touch more.&amp;quot; Few of us have much time, energy, or money to spare, but this resolution doesn&amp;#039;t demand any extra time, energy, or money \u2014 and yet it makes a real difference in the atmosphere of my apartment. It makes each of us feel more loved, more cherished. To build on that resolution, I wanted all of our family members to get a moment of acknowledgment and welcome every time they walked through the door. But for this resolution to work best, we would all have to participate. Over a Sunday breakfast of blueberry pancakes, before springing my proposal on the family, I posed a question to the table: &amp;quot;If you could make a resolution for everyone in our family, what would it be?&amp;quot; My husband answered without hesitation. &amp;quot;I do whatever I want, while the rest of the family cleans up the apartment and runs errands.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s an interesting suggestion,&amp;quot; I said dryly. Then I asked, &amp;quot;Does anyone have other ideas?&amp;quot; My older daughter said, &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;d have different things for breakfast during the week, like scrambled eggs or soft-boiled eggs, instead of just cereal or peanut butter on toast.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;We could do that,&amp;quot; I said, happy to comply. &amp;quot;I didn&amp;#039;t know you wanted anything else for breakfast.&amp;quot; Then I turned to my 6-year-old. &amp;quot;How about you? Do you have a suggestion?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;People would always give me a big hug and a big kiss every time they saw me,&amp;quot; she answered promptly. &amp;quot;And I would get to go to the store to buy a toy whenever I wanted.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Well, I want to propose something,&amp;quot; I said with a laugh. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s a lot like the first part of that suggestion. I want us to try having a rule that when any one of us comes home or is leaving, we all have to pay attention to that person for a minute. Let&amp;#039;s give warm greetings and farewells.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Why?&amp;quot; asked my older daughter. &amp;quot;I think we&amp;#039;ve fallen into some bad habits of not paying attention, and it&amp;#039;s important to show affection for each other,&amp;quot; I answered. &amp;quot;I know that I&amp;#039;m bad about this myself. It&amp;#039;s hard to be interrupted when you&amp;#039;re in the middle of something, but this is important.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;But what if I forget?&amp;quot; wailed my little one. &amp;quot;What if I&amp;#039;m playing and I don&amp;#039;t remember?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Don&amp;#039;t worry, it&amp;#039;s OK if you forget,&amp;quot; I reassured her. &amp;quot;Let&amp;#039;s just try doing this. It won&amp;#039;t be a big deal if we forget sometimes.&amp;quot; Next:  With that question settled, everyone agreed good-naturedly to undertake the resolution to give warm greetings and farewells \u2014 but would we all remember to do it, without nagging? I didn&amp;#039;t want a resolution meant to boost our feelings of affection to turn into a source of conflict. Somewhat to my surprise, we all quickly began to keep this resolution (well, most of the time). As a consequence, several times per day we have moments of real connection among all members of our family. For instance, instead of letting my older daughter yell, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m leaving!&amp;quot; before she disappears out the door to walk to school, I call, &amp;quot;Wait, wait!&amp;quot; \u2014 and we all hurry to give her a real hug and a real goodbye.  Giving warm greetings and farewells feels like a natural thing to do, and the more we do it, the more it becomes a habit \u2014 which, of course, means that we all expect it now and feel annoyed or hurt if a warm acknowledgment doesn&amp;#039;t come. One night, as soon as I walked through the door, I rushed to scribble a note to myself (if I don&amp;#039;t write down important things the moment they occur to me, I never think of them again). As I was writing this crucial note with the stub of a red crayon on the back of a school notice about an outbreak of strep throat, my younger daughter marched over to me with a scowl and called me on breaking my own resolution.  &amp;quot;Hey! You didn&amp;#039;t give me a warm greeting!&amp;quot; she said bitterly. &amp;quot;When I said &amp;#039;Hi,&amp;#039; you just said &amp;#039;Hi&amp;#039; and rushed right by me. You didn&amp;#039;t pay any attention to me at all.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Oh, honey,&amp;quot; I said, kneeling down. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m sorry. I wanted to write myself a note before I forgot something. That&amp;#039;s why I seemed distracted. But now I want to give you a great big hug!&amp;quot; She allowed herself to be hugged, then skipped back to her game. It&amp;#039;s no surprise: Studies show that we&amp;#039;re much more likely to feel close to a family member who often expresses affection than to one who rarely does. While it&amp;#039;s nice to say the words &amp;quot;I love you,&amp;quot; sometimes it&amp;#039;s fitting and more meaningful to express that thought without words.  My spiritual master is St. Th\u00E9r\u00E8se of Lisieux, the great French saint who died in 1897 and is known for her &amp;quot;Little Way&amp;quot; \u2014 her way of achieving great virtue through small, ordinary actions and as part of everyday life. For me, one of St. Th\u00E9r\u00E8se&amp;#039;s most haunting observations is &amp;quot;It isn&amp;#039;t enough to love; we must prove it.&amp;quot;  In the course of everyday life, I sometimes find it hard to spot the opportunities to prove my love, even to the members of my beloved family. The resolution to &amp;quot;give warm greetings and farewells&amp;quot; is a manageable, pleasant, and effective reminder for us all to give &amp;quot;proofs of love.&amp;quot; If you want to be happier at home, don&amp;#039;t just feel it. Show it. I noticed an added benefit from following this resolution. One of my most important personal commandments is to act the way I want to feel. We think we act because of the way we feel, but often we feel because of the way we act. By acting in a loving way, I prompt loving feelings in myself, and this shows. My family feels more loved by me, and I feel more loving toward them.  An enthusiastic &amp;quot;Hello!&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;Goodbye!&amp;quot; is a small thing \u2014 very small. Nevertheless, it makes a real difference. As Benjamin Franklin pointed out, &amp;quot;Human felicity is produc&amp;#039;d not so much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen, as by little advantages that occur every day.&amp;quot;  I freely admit that it does seem a bit preposterous to depend on a formal, family-wide resolution to encourage a gesture that could be considered simple politeness. But the fact is that this simple resolution \u2014 to say hello and goodbye with tenderness and enthusiasm \u2014 has made us all much happier. Have you ever made a family-wide resolution \u2014 and did your family cooperate? Send your best happiness tips to me at gretchen@goodhousekeeping.com, and if you like, I&amp;#039;ll e-mail you a daily &amp;quot;Moment of Happiness&amp;quot; \u2014 absolutely free.  "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/wellness/advice/a18255/hugs-and-kisses/?src=shelter_footer>