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" The only fight my parents ever had about money in 58 years of marriage took place in 1968. My father, a school principal earning $32,000 a year, informed my mother that he wanted to funnel half his paycheck into a retirement plan. &amp;quot;Half, Harold?&amp;quot; my mom shrieked. &amp;quot;We have three kids and a mortgage. We can&amp;#039;t afford to do that!&amp;quot; My dad&amp;#039;s response? &amp;quot;Shirley, we can&amp;#039;t afford not to.&amp;quot;  After a couple of days of, uh, &amp;quot;debate,&amp;quot; my parents agreed to embrace a frugal lifestyle so that they could secure their future. Don&amp;#039;t get me wrong, it&amp;#039;s not that they didn&amp;#039;t argue after that \u2014 they just didn&amp;#039;t argue about money.  If only it were so simple for the rest of us. When you partner up, the reality is that you often know little to nothing about your guy&amp;#039;s intimate financial details for months \u2014 or even years \u2014 into a relationship. And loving your partner but not his or her spending habits is a top cause of couples&amp;#039; strife, particularly in these tough economic times. Addressing your money concerns with your guy, no matter how long you&amp;#039;ve been together, is one of the best things you can do for your relationship. Here&amp;#039;s how.  Know your money personalities. Opposites attract, even when it comes to wallets. People who like to spend are more likely to marry frugal mates, and thrifty types favor spendthrifts, according to a study conducted by Scott Rick, an assistant professor of marketing at the University of Michigan. But what makes matters trickier is that it&amp;#039;s very difficult for people to change their money ways. People classified as &amp;quot;tightwads&amp;quot; actually experience emotional discomfort before purchasing an item, Rick says, whereas &amp;quot;spendthrifts&amp;quot; fork over their cash pretty painlessly. The point: No matter what your spending personality is, speaking frankly about your tendencies is key. Although you may be tempted to hide sneaky spending or to pretend it&amp;#039;s just fine with you every time your spouse treats everyone to drinks, don&amp;#039;t. Setting realistic limits \u2014 perhaps agreeing on an amount of spending money each week \u2014 might bring you closer. Establish ground rules.  It&amp;#039;s best to be both tactical and tactful when working toward economic equilibrium in your home. One couple from Camas, WA, shared their strictest ground rules with me: No random talk about money \u2014 meaning no springing a money grievance in the car on the way to the gym. Instead, they designate one night a week for discussing money. Another tip: Keep a journal of your concerns so that if it&amp;#039;s not &amp;quot;that night of the week&amp;quot; to talk money, you have both an outlet for your worries and questions and a way to remember them. Have an annual money date.  Without a once-a-year check-in, all your weekly updates won&amp;#039;t help you achieve meaningful progress. So mark your calendars for a one-day money-fest, early in the year, to discuss long-term goals. Start by listing your top goal (a car? a house?) and how to achieve it. Consider signing up together at a website such as mint.com, which works well as an impartial third party for tracking who&amp;#039;s spending what. Also, discuss specific plans for paying down your debts (whether it&amp;#039;s credit cards or getting ahead on your mortgage) and saving for the future (be it your retirement or the kids&amp;#039; college fund). Need more convincing? Think of Harold and Shirley. As I write this, they&amp;#039;re on a cruise to St. Lucia (paid for in cash). Nipping their money differences in the bud after that big money fight &amp;quot;was the smartest thing we ever did,&amp;quot; says my dad. &amp;quot;Except,&amp;quot; my mother chimes in, &amp;quot;when we married each other!&amp;quot;  Beth Kobliner is the author of the New York Times best seller Get a Financial Life. She can also be heard each week on the nationally syndicated public radio show  The Takeaway. Visit her at bethkobliner.com. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/money-career/advice/a5811/stop-money-differences/>