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" Over the years, I have made an art of multitasking during sex. So many of us do this sort of thing. We shouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t, but we do. Included below, a few of my latest and greatest achievements. Let them either a) Inspire you to think, I too could be more productive! Or perhaps b) Convince you that whatever misdemeanors you&amp;amp;#8217;ve committed, I have done worse. 1. Shoe the dog My boyfriend is the proud owner of an adorable miniature schnauzer. This animal can&amp;amp;#8217;t be truly happy unless she is nuzzled up against a human, which means that being in bed, on a couch, wherever, some part of said dog will be touching some part of either my boyfriend or myself. I&amp;amp;#8217;ve become an expert in graciously receiving sexual advances while nudging her off the bed. 2. Shush the dog Post-nudge, the dog none-too-surprisingly starts in with all manner of attention-seeking behavior: whining, barking, yelping, etc. So it is I&amp;amp;#8217;ve had to learn to encourage my boyfriend: &amp;quot;Oh, yes. Good job. Very nice,&amp;amp;#8221;&amp;amp;#8212;while calming his miniature schnauzer&amp;amp;#8212; &amp;amp;#8220;Shush! Go drink from the toilet why don&amp;amp;#8217;t you!&amp;amp;#8221; 3. Memorizing There are certain things I like to stay on top of. (No pun intended!) The capitals of all U.S. cities. The senators of all the states in which I&amp;amp;#8217;ve lived. The names of celebrity children. Oftentimes, I&amp;amp;#8217;ll use my sex time to review such crucial pieces of information, in which case my interior monologue goes like: Montgomery, Juneau, Phoenix, Little Rock. Or maybe: Suri, Apple, Moses, Blue Ivy. 4. Make a to-do list This here is the real bounty. The biggest bounty. What human on the planet doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t have at least five thousand itemized lists to tend to? Grocery shopping list, follow-up email list, invite-to-that-dinner-party-I-don&amp;amp;#8217;t-even-want-to-have list. What clothes to throw away lists, bills-to-pay lists. Anyway, you get the idea, and I should stop before this particular point starts to sound any more like a poor mockery of a Dr. Seuss book. 5. Whistling I did this once, accidentally. I&amp;amp;#8217;d had that &amp;amp;#8220;Don&amp;amp;#8217;t Be Fooled by the Rocks That I&amp;amp;#8217;ve Got&amp;amp;#8221; song by Jennifer Lopez milling around in my head for days, and then accidentally, instinctively, humiliatingly&amp;amp;#8212;in much the same way you might call out the name of a former lover while with your current lover&amp;amp;#8212;I started whistling the tune. The gentleman I was with at the time said, &amp;amp;#8220;I&amp;amp;#8217;m sorry, are you&amp;amp;#133;are you whistling?&amp;amp;#8221; and I answered, &amp;amp;#8220;What? No. That must&amp;amp;#8217;ve been the wind.&amp;amp;#8221; 6. Watch TV There&amp;amp;#8217;s not much that&amp;amp;#8217;s easier than this, frankly. Only thing is, beware of anything especially funny. I can tell you from experience, laughing at your favorite bit of 30 Rock while in the mode of the beast with two backs? It&amp;amp;#8217;s even more disconcerting to your partner than whistling. &amp;amp;#8212;Written by Sara Barron for HowAboutWe Are you guilty of multitasking during sex? More from HowAboutWe... *Yeah, No, This Is NOT How You Break Things Off After One Date *5 Things Guys Like to Pay For, and 5 Things They Do NOT Like to Pay For *4 Rules for My Fantasy Ex-Boyfriend Island Photo: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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