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"A few readers have written in with heartaches, including &amp;quot;My boyfriend wants to take a two-week European vacation with his female friend&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;I don&amp;#x27;t have any close girl friends. How can I make some?&amp;quot; Well, today, we have a question of a more intimate nature: What should you do when sex really hurts?Our lovely reader&amp;#x27;s question... &amp;quot;This is a little embarrassing to ask. My boyfriend and I are 26, and we were virgins until last July. We&amp;#x27;re in a long-distance relationship, so we see each other every other month. When we first had intercourse, it was very, very painful, and not to mention funny since neither of us really knew what we were doing. We didn&amp;amp;#8217;t have sex the last time I saw him, but he came down about two weeks ago, and we did. It hurt much less, but nevertheless, it still hurt, not to mention that I had to stop in the middle of the &amp;amp;#8220;act&amp;amp;#8221; because I had to urinate. This made me very upset, not to mention embarrassed! My boyfriend loves me and he didn&amp;amp;#8217;t say anything, but I know it was a turn off. Why was that happening? Is it a medical problem? How much longer will it hurt me to have sex? Will I be able to enjoy it anytime soon? Please help!!!&amp;quot; My answer.... My darling! Thanks for your great question. You want sex to be this incredible, romantic experience, but instead...it hurts like a mother. I understand how you&amp;#x27;re distraught! Here are my thoughts: When women are virgins, sometimes their hymens aren&amp;#x27;t broken. Not to be too technical here, but the hymen is a thin membrane that covers the vaginal opening. Often women break it earlier in their lives, by riding horses or doing gymnastics, but you may have broken the hymen the first time you had sex (ouch). So that might have been the physical reason for the pain, but don&amp;#x27;t worry, now it&amp;#x27;s over! Also, you may need extra lubrication. If you&amp;#x27;re nervous, your body can tense up and it can feel rough to have sex. Here are two tips: * Get a bottle of K-Y Jelly from your neighborhood drug store. Put some on your boyfriend&amp;#x27;s penis before you have sex. The lube will help make sex feel much smoother and easier. * Also, focus on foreplay. Ask your boyfriend to give you a massage. Stare at each other without touching for a while. Have him rub you softly over your underwear. He can gently lick or kiss your nipples. You can give each other slow kisses. These moves will help you feel relaxed and turned on, and will help get you in the mood for sex. Finally, your question came at the perfect time! Glamour just wrote a whole article about what to do when sex hurts. You can read all the very helpful advice here. P.S. Remember, there are many ways to express your love besides having sex. You can kiss, give massages, touch each other...So you don&amp;#x27;t have to feel pressure to have sex every time. But hopefully you and your boyfriend will find ways to make it fun for both of you. Good luck, my dear! And readers, please weigh in! Have you ever been in the same situation? Do you have tips for making sex more pleasurable when you&amp;#x27;re nervous? Do you have any good turn-on tricks? Want more? Read through all our honest sex tips on Smitten.... Photo by "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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