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"  I just started a new job and work with a woman who&amp;#039;s desperate to be my best friend or maybe my guardian angel. She&amp;#039;s always trying to &amp;quot;teach&amp;quot; me how to do things that I clearly already know how to do she actually tried to show me how to do a Google search! She also repeats the same stories and instructions over and over. She even affectionately refers to me as her &amp;quot;little&amp;quot; like in a sorority, where new inductees are assigned to existing members as their &amp;quot;little&amp;quot; sisters. Since I&amp;#039;m new at the company, I don&amp;#039;t want to judge anyone, but she&amp;#039;s really intense and kind of getting on my nerves. How do I let her know that the attention is a little overwhelming without hurting her feelings in case I later want to be friends? M.G., 27, Wilmington, DE Eeeeeew. I&amp;#039;m probably not technically allowed to say that as an advice columnist, but what&amp;#039;s with the &amp;quot;little&amp;quot; thing? (I was in a sorority Delta Gamma, rah! so I know exactly what you mean.) And I somehow doubt that you&amp;#039;ll ever want to be friends with this woman. In a perfect world, it would be nice not to judge anyone, but then it would also be nice not to work with people who get on our nerves.   The dilemma is age-old: You&amp;#039;ve got something hurtful to communicate (&amp;quot;Back off, lady!&amp;quot;) but you don&amp;#039;t want to hurt her. It&amp;#039;s impossible for you to have it both ways. Since this is a work-related situation (which brings with it other considerations), it&amp;#039;s best to opt for subtlety first. Be polite to her, but not particularly friendly; mind your own business, and in general let her know by your actions that you&amp;#039;re not interested in being taken under her wing.   Some people will take your behavior for what it is a signal that you&amp;#039;d rather not reciprocate the friendship at this time. If she isn&amp;#039;t one of them, then you&amp;#039;re going to have to speak your mind. The next time she tries to show you how to use Google (?!), just say, &amp;quot;Hey, Laurie thanks, but I&amp;#039;m getting the hang of stuff around here. I appreciate that you&amp;#039;re trying to help, but I think I&amp;#039;ve got it!&amp;quot;   There&amp;#039;s a good chance that she&amp;#039;ll be wounded, but you might be surprised at how well she takes it. In any case, your standing up for yourself will define you in her eyes as an individual, and not her little anything.   Karen Karbo is the author of How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great. Shes also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner. Send your questions to her at: The Hard Stuff, REDBOOK, 300 W. 57th St., New York, NY 10019, or karenkarbo@redbookmag.com. Letters may be edited for clarity and length, and must include your initials, age, city, and state. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/money-career/q-and-a/a2142/hs-annoying-coworker/>