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"Not everyone is born with a parental sense of intuition. Being responsible for the needs of a living, breathing, pooping creature of any size isn't exactly a walk in the park \u2014 it's a flat-out chore. \nIf you've ever neglected to feed the dog, left the window open while bird-sitting your best friend's parakeet or \u2014 heaven forbid \u2014 been responsible for a cat funeral, take a look below at alternative pet options. \nThey vary in type \u2014 and maybe even \"pet-ness\" \u2014 but they all share one undoubtably important detail: a total lack of pulse and biological needs. So you can love them when you want, but also feel free to forget about them once in a while. (Or, if none of these options suit you, you can always throw a pair of googly eyes on a household object and call it Otis. Your choice.) \nAny good ones we missed? Share your favorites in the comments below.\n1. Jar of honey\n\nAccording to the National Honey Board (which is apparently a real thing), a bottle of commercially produced honey has an indefinite shelf life. You may see it crystallize over time, but it's no reason to worry \u2014 just throw your little buddy in the microwave for a few minutes and he'll be back to his sweet and cheery self in no time. \nImage courtesy of Flickr, Siona Karen\n2. Furby\n\nRemember, kids, a dead battery only means he's temporarily comatose. \nImage courtesy of Furby\n3. Bamboo sticks\n\nThey're for life. \nImage courtesy of Flickr, pingin\n4. Pair of basketballs\n\nWilson, meet Spalding. \nMashable composite: Image courtesy of Flickr, Faruk Ates\n5. Rock\n\nThey don't make 'em like they used to. But hey, they're still dead-ish.  \nImage courtesy of Flickr, Brett Coulstock\n6. Sock monkey\n\nLike the real thing, only with zero chance of rabies. \nImage courtesy of Flickr, Ryan Poplin\nSEE ALSO: 15 People Who Totally Take Things Too Literally\n\n7. Bellybutton lint\n\nGranted, it's cuter when it's being walked by a shoe-wearing shell. \nImage courtesy of Flickr, Matt Smith\n8. Chia Pet\n\n\"Ch-Ch-Chry and kill me!\" \u2014 Chia Cat\nImage courtesy of Flickr, ChiaPet.com\n9. Lawn deer\n\nJust don't name any of them \"Bambi's Mom,\" alright?\nImage courtesy of Flickr, Addy Cameron-Huff\n10. Wall-mounted large mouth bass\n\nNo tank required!\nImage courtesy of YouTube, Djcammy100\n11. Bobblehead puppy\n\nYou can tell them anything \u2014 they always seem to understand. \nImage courtesy of S&amp;S Worldwide\n12. FooPet\n\nThey're virtually adorable \u2014 in the literal sense \u2014 and you can mix and breed your own. \nImage courtesy of FooPets\nBONUS: A tiger shark with a rocket launcher\n\nBecause good luck trying to kill that. \nMashable composite: Image courtesy of Flickr, thievingjoker\nTop image via iStockphoto, Tolola; Thumbnail image Mashable composite courtesy of Flickr, Faruk Ates"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://mashable.com/2013/05/15/pet-alternatives/>