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"Another thing that comes with grief is a lack of concentration. I remember Mom telling me that she felt &amp;quot;hit in the head&amp;quot; when Nana died, and now that is totally me. I did manage to read a whole book, though; a whole book while nodding, crying, and saying Yes. I read Joyce Carol Oates&amp;#039;s memoir, A Widow&amp;#039;s Story. I have to admit, I read it just as much for Mom as I read it for me. There are a couple of links Mom and I would have loved talking about. First, the Joyce Carol Oates part. When Mom was awarded the Julian Sinclair Smith award for Lifelong Learning from the Columbus Metropolitan Library, Joyce Carol Oates was the featured speaker. Mom said a few words, too. Then we sat in the front row together, loving Joyce Carol&amp;#039;s description of writing with cats in her lap. Well, actually, that was the part I liked the most. Mom chose other moments. Sharing that special night with Joyce Carol Oates made us feel a kinship with the author. And Mom was a first time author herself, having written It Must Have Been Moonglow: Reflections On The First Years of Widowhood at 80, beginning a formidable ten-year writing career. Through the years we&amp;#039;ve read many books about grief: widow books we&amp;#039;d call them. Gail Sheehy&amp;#039;s brilliant, helpful grief; Joan Didion&amp;#039;s hurting hours. Every one, we&amp;#039;ve discussed at length. She always read much faster than me. She loved her books. I read Joyce Carol Oates&amp;#039; s book solo and grieving and a little afraid. I missed Mom so much while reading. All the other books, I still had her. Meghan O&amp;#039; Rourke has a memoir due out this month called The Long Goodbye. It is about grief and the death of her mother. I can tell I will be reading this with the Kleenex box on my bed. Grief is a cave with hieroglyphics left for future mourners. Nodding mourners, reading books, crying and saying Yes. D.G. Fulford is the author of Designated Daughter: The Bonus Years with Mom, written with her mother Phyllis Greene. She is also the co-founder of TheRememberingSite.org. You can find her at DGFulford.com. Photo credit: Marcia Smilack "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.womansday.com/life/a46487/joyce-carol-et-al-196/>