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"FacebookPinterest\n\nAt this point, dude, you've probably got to face the fact that you're going to be alone on Valentine's Day. But hey, that doesn't mean you can't make a night out of it! Here, a helpful step-by-step checklist:\n\n1. Get comfy on the couch. Think of it as your base camp--set out the bong, bro!\n\n2. Call and ask if Domino's will make you a  pizza in the shape of a heart. They probably won't. But hey, you'll get a solid seven minutes of human contact out of it.\n\n3. When delivery person arrives, invite him in. I mean, what else does he has to do, tonight, work? He thinks you're weird? Whatever. More bong for you.\n\n4. Eat your pizza into the shape of a heart. Take a photo of it. LOLZ!\n\n5. Break out the booze. Realize that when someone got you one of these for Christmas, they probably had tonight in mind. Man, you have the best friends.\n\n6. Get drunk. Straight from the bottle. No stupid girlfriend around to stop you, right?\n\n7. Post your love-pizza on Facebook. Tag it with all of your ex-girlfriends. LOLZ!\n\n8. Wait for the \"Likes\" to pour in. Any minute now...\n\n9. Realize that was a horrible idea. You can erase things from the Internet, right? RIGHT?\n\n10. Watch a movie. Here are some suggestions. Maybe reverse the Best and Worst columns, in your, uh, special case.\n\n11. Don't eat ice cream. That's for chicks. But the bong and booze has made you so hungry. Thank goodness there's this heart-shaped pizza.\n\n12. Realize your neighbors are home. Jesus! What's with the bed springs?\n\n13. Go to bed early.  Holy shit, are they still at it? A sex marathon on V-Day, so clich\u00E9.\n\n14. Stare at the crack in the ceiling. Did you actually just eat an entire pizza? Let the shame lull you to sleep.\n\n\n\n More on GQ.com:\n\n How the \"Shit My Dad Says\" Dad Celebrates Valentine's Day\n 10 Tips for a Very Ryan Gosling Valentine's Day\n The Single Man's Self-Loathing Guide to Valentine's Day\n The 5 Most Annoying People on Valentine's Day\n 7 Tips to an Anxiety-Free, Authentically Romantic Valentine's Day\n\n Photo: imgur.com"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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