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"  I know the word &amp;quot;epic&amp;quot; is more overused than the Jersey Shore cast, but hand on the Bible, this past weekend was epic. So epic, in fact, that I need two posts to do the whole thing justice. So here goes Part One: Josie and the Half-Blood Ex (for all you Harry Potter fans out there).  I met Eric (the ex) for brunch at Daddyo&amp;#039;s, this little hole in the wall bar/caf\u00E9 that serves unbelievable Bloody Marys. It took me about an hour and a half to put together an outfit that didn&amp;#039;t look like I&amp;#039;d spent an hour and half on putting it together, yet also screamed, &amp;quot;You made a big mistake, buddy.&amp;quot; It&amp;#039;s a harder balance to strike than you&amp;#039;d think! Ultimately, I went with bright royal blue jeans (I love the colored denim trend so much I&amp;#039;d marry it), leopard print flats, a flowy, silky white button-down, and a fitted beige leather jacket. By the expression on Eric&amp;#039;s face when I walked in, I&amp;#039;m pretty sure I did good.  We gave each other a bumbling hug/kiss on the cheek, and when I sat down I saw he&amp;#039;d already ordered me a Bloody.  &amp;quot;I know you love them and that they take forever to make them here so\u2026&amp;quot; He trailed off awkwardly. I think he even blushed. No sign of the a-hole Eric who so cold-heartedly kicked me to the curb three months ago.  &amp;quot;Well, thanks,&amp;quot; I said, and took an enormous gulp.  &amp;quot;So how have you been?&amp;quot; he asked.  &amp;quot;Really good actually,&amp;quot; I said, and I felt a satisfying rush when I realized I meant it.  &amp;quot;Work has been busy and Bill has introduced me to some book publicists and said amazing things about me to them, and a few are asking me when I&amp;#039;m going to write my book.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Wow,&amp;quot; Eric said. &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s really great, Jos, I&amp;#039;m happy to hear that.&amp;quot;  He looked like he was about to say something else, but before he could the waitress came over to take our order. I went with my usual\u2014breakfast burrito with sausage, spinach, peppers, and mushrooms. This conversation called for sustenance.  &amp;quot;So how have you been?&amp;quot; I asked once the waitress left us.  &amp;quot;Good, fine,&amp;quot; he said, looking down. &amp;quot;Work is going okay, I think my boss really likes me, which is a good feeling.&amp;quot;  I nodded, but didn&amp;#039;t say anything. The giant elephant in the room yawned.  &amp;quot;So, the reason I wanted to talk you,&amp;quot; Eric stopped to clear his throat and quickly glance at me. &amp;quot;The reason is because I feel really bad about the way things ended between us, and it&amp;#039;s been eating at me.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Okayyy,&amp;quot; I said, feeling my nostrils flare in irritation. &amp;quot;I mean, Eric, you do realize that you were the reason things ended the way they did.&amp;quot;  Eric leaned back in his chair and covered his face with his hands, groaning. When he pulled them away, I was shocked to see tears in his eyes.  &amp;quot;I know, and I&amp;#039;m sorry,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;Jos, I miss you so much.&amp;quot; He tried to reach for my hand but I pulled it away.  &amp;quot;What happened, Eric?&amp;quot; I demanded. &amp;quot;And be honest with me\u2014were you cheating on me with that girl? And what&amp;#039;s your deal with her now?&amp;quot;  Eric looked at his lap and didn&amp;#039;t say anything for a few moments. &amp;quot;We hooked up once,&amp;quot; he said, still refusing to make eye contact with me. &amp;quot;We just kissed, no sex I swear, but I admit that we&amp;#039;d been flirting and hanging out for a few weeks up until then, which was wrong too.&amp;quot;  Even though nothing about this admission surprised me, I still felt like David Beckham had just kicked me in the gut. A ball of rage formed in my stomach, but I did my best to ignore it. I wanted the whole story before I lost it.  &amp;quot;So what happened with her?&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;Being with her was nothing like being with you,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;I missed you, so much you have no idea, so I ended it.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s nice and all, but since you&amp;#039;re apparently a cheating asshole, how do I know she didn&amp;#039;t blow you off and now you&amp;#039;re just in need of another warm body?&amp;quot;  I saw anger flash in Eric&amp;#039;s eyes, which only made the ball tighten. He had No. Right. To be mad at me.   &amp;quot;And what about you?&amp;quot; He shot back. &amp;quot;You flirted with that weirdo art freak in front of me all the time in college, and he was all over you last week at that alum thing. You&amp;#039;re telling me nothing ever happened between you?&amp;quot;   &amp;quot;Trevor?!&amp;quot; I spat out. &amp;quot;What the hell are you talking about? No, nothing ever happened between us while you and I were together. Because, unlike you, I have a heart and I cared about you enough to never do that to you.&amp;quot; I should have ended it right there, but I was never good at being the bigger person. &amp;quot;But since you brought it up, you should know that Trevor and I have been hanging out recently, and I can&amp;#039;t remember the last time I was this happy.&amp;quot;  With that, I stood up and stormed out. Eric called after me, but I just kept going. My heart was beating so hard I thought I might faint, and I was sweating all over my $129 dollar silk blouse that I was only able to afford after eating nothing but PB&amp;amp;amp;J for two weeks, but I could have cared less. A wave of total and complete euphoria had taken hold of me and it was like nothing I&amp;#039;d ever felt before\u2014I have never, in my life, stood up for myself like that, and I was so proud of myself.  Just recapping this story has caused my heart rate to pick up so much that I think I can skip the gym today. Stay tuned for Part II of the &amp;quot;epic&amp;quot; weekend. This one also left me with a euphoric high, but for much better, more naked-er reasons.  Have you ever told off a d-bag ex-boyfriend? "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a10188/j-bedroom-blog-dont-mess-with-josie/>