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"Chelsea Handler knows she has some big shoes to fill when she hosts the MTV Video Music Awards in L.A. September 12 -- but that doesn&amp;apos;t mean the comedian plans to outperform the evening&amp;apos;s musical guests.\r\n\r\n&amp;quot;I&amp;apos;ve actually watched a bunch of the VMAs from over the past few years and there was definitely a lot of singing and dancing,&amp;quot; Handler, 35, tells MTV. &amp;quot;I&amp;apos;m not a dancer and I&amp;apos;m not a singer, and I don&amp;apos;t have the kind of ass that should be mooned. I mean it&amp;apos;s sweet, it&amp;apos;s a sweet ass, but it&amp;apos;s little and it&amp;apos;s white -- it&amp;apos;s a little too white, actually. I don&amp;apos;t go bottomless often enough to get a decent tan.&amp;quot;\r\nInstead, the comedian says she plans to leave the performances to artists like Usher, Eminem and Kanye West. &amp;quot;I&amp;apos;m there to be funny, kind of, so hopefully I&amp;apos;ll just kind of doing that,&amp;quot; she says.\r\n\r\nOne performer she isn&amp;apos;t looking forward to seeing: 16-year-old Justin Bieber.\r\n&amp;quot;He&amp;apos;s two-faced is what he is. He acted like we were in a committed relationship and then was prancing around with Kim Kardashian on the beach like they&amp;apos;re a couple,&amp;quot; she joked. &amp;quot;Obviously the guy is not genuine and he&amp;apos;s using the flirting card with anybody he meets. And I&amp;apos;m not going to fall for that.&amp;quot;\r\n\r\nKidding aside, the best-selling author promises to put on a hilarious show.\r\n&amp;quot;It&amp;apos;s going to be great. It&amp;apos;s going to be fun,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;It&amp;apos;s the perfect kind of loosey-goosey environment for me to get away with what I do.&amp;quot;"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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