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"  When people find out I conducted polygraph examinations, did interrogations, and protected President Obama as a special agent for the United States Secret Service, they bombard me with questions. They ask, &amp;quot;How can I tell what someone is really thinking?&amp;quot; And even, &amp;quot;Can you feel my wrist and tell me if I&amp;#039;m lying right now?&amp;quot; We all want to know how to make sense of the people we come into contact with every day, whether it&amp;#039;s a love interest, a friend, a coworker, or someone we just met. But the truth is, you can&amp;#039;t &amp;quot;solve&amp;quot; your boyfriend or your boss as if they were a math problem. Sure, there have been countless studies conducted on human behavior, but in reality, reading people is more of an art form than anything else. Despite all my training and the hundreds of hours I&amp;#039;ve spent in the interview room, in the end, mastering that art form was all about listening to my gut. You don&amp;#039;t need to be a polygraph examiner or have a PhD attached to your name to understand human behavior. You are already more capable of reading people than you think you are. 1. Listen More and Say Less Active listening is the crucial first step. If your goal is to read someone accurately, then it&amp;#039;s not about you talking; it&amp;#039;s about allowing the other person to share information with you. The more they talk, the better informed you will be. People love to talk about themselves\u2026so let them. Pay attention not only to what someone says but also what they don&amp;#039;t say. Do they seem to leave out certain details in their story? Are they looking at you when they speak? Every word and gesture they use will give you real insight. Tip: Don&amp;#039;t cut people off while they&amp;#039;re speaking. Not only is it rude, but it can also throw them off the topic you are trying to gather information about. Let them first tell their story, and come back later with follow-up questions. Ask open-ended questions, which will get you more information than a simple yes or no reply. If you want to know if your boyfriend went out last night, it&amp;#039;s best to ask, &amp;quot;So what did you do last night?&amp;quot; rather than &amp;quot;Did you go out last night?&amp;quot; 2. Perfect Your Poker Face When you are trying to read people, you want them to speak to you uninhibitedly. So don&amp;#039;t openly judge, even if you don&amp;#039;t like what someone has to say. When people feel your disapproval, they will filter themselves, hold back information, or shut down. And then you won&amp;#039;t be able to read them accurately. Even if you are feeling angry or suspicious, try to hold in your emotions for as long as it takes you to assess the situation. Tip: Be aware of what your face and body are saying to other people. Don&amp;#039;t roll your eyes, clench your jaw, or cross your arms in front of you. These subtle shifts can send a negative message. Instead, maintain a soft facial expression, hold a relaxed posture, and lean in. Having a poker face is not about sitting emotionless\u2014be attentive and nod politely in response in order to encourage someone to continue speaking openly. 3. Trust the Voice in Your Head How many times have you heard someone say, &amp;quot;I had a strange feeling about him&amp;quot;? That&amp;#039;s because 99.9 percent of the time, your instincts are right, even when you logically can&amp;#039;t explain why. We tune out our inner voice when it involves the people we love\u2014we desperately want to believe they wouldn&amp;#039;t betray us. We accept their excuses and rationalize their behaviors because it is easier on our hearts. Tip: Your first impression of someone is usually right! If within the first few minutes of meeting someone they give off a vibe that repels you or causes you to pause, don&amp;#039;t ignore it. It&amp;#039;s your gut instinct telling you, Be careful. Likewise, if you ever find yourself questioning whether someone is lying to you or withholding information, they probably are. You don&amp;#039;t need anyone to give you the answers to these questions. You already have them. Photo Credit: Gillian Laub "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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