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"  Recent research tells us that 22% of young children ages six to nine own a cell phone, as do 60% of tweens ages 10 to 14 and 84% of teens. Combine those stats with today&amp;#039;s souped-up cellular devices, and it&amp;#039;s a recipe for risky behavior. &amp;quot;Phones are essentially a computer in your pocket \u2014 a video camera, camera, and web browser that moves with you everywhere you go,&amp;quot; says Don DeBolt, director of threat research for Total Defense. &amp;quot;A phone&amp;#039;s mobility provides greater potential for bad decisions, especially when kids are outside of the home.&amp;quot; In the November issue of REDBOOK, we brought you the story of one girl&amp;#039;s sexting trauma, here&amp;#039;s how to keep your kids safe and prepared:   1. Safeguard their phones.  Many mobile carriers in the U.S. offer parental controls that allow parents to block picture messaging (one caveat: in some cases, this only blocks pictures from being received, not sent), limit what time their children can text or place calls, and restrict web browsing.   Here&amp;#039;s a breakdown (Pricing is free unless otherwise noted):   AT&amp;amp;amp;T:   Disable buying ringtones, games, and other paid features. Kid-friendly content filters to block anything inappropriate &amp;quot;Smart Controls&amp;quot;: $4.99/month; enables web browsing limits, time-of-day texting, &amp;quot;allowed numbers&amp;quot; list (so they can only communicate with numbers you&amp;#039;ve approved), and calling restrictions (so they can only text and call between, say, 3 p.m. and 9 p.m.).  Sprint:   Option to limit web usage, apps, and texting. Ability to disable camera on phone to prevent picture texting.  Verizon:   &amp;quot;Usage Controls&amp;quot;: $4.99/month; parental blocks on picture and video texts, block up to 20 phone numbers, and limit voice and text usage.  T-Mobile:   Block incoming pictures and text messages. Restrict web browsing.   If you prefer to install customizable software programs on your children&amp;#039;s phone instead of going through the cell phone carriers, check out independent companies like Total Defense (Read on for exclusive Redbook discount code) and iHound Total Defense&amp;#039;s mobile security offers both parental controls and powerful anti-virus and anti-spy software along with a remote GPS locator for lost or stolen phones. iHound offers the ability to remotely delete sensitive data if a phone is lost or stolen and a &amp;quot;geofencing&amp;quot; feature, which tells parents when their children has left a parent-specified radius, say, around their school.  2. Start the dialogue.  &amp;quot;A lot of parents are flippant about how powerful a phone can be. But buying your child a cell phone and monitoring his or her usage is something you need to take seriously,&amp;quot; says Dr. Fred Zelinger, a psychologist specializing in adolescent issues. He also stresses that this conversation needs to be ongoing \u2014 &amp;quot;Just one is meaningless; it needs to be a continuing and regular dialogue.&amp;quot; Find a time when your child is most relaxed and receptive to taking your advice, like when you&amp;#039;re driving home from an activity they enjoy (e.g. post-soccer practice) or after dinner.   And what exactly do you say? &amp;quot;Make sure you convey that responsibility includes knowing what the digital dangers are as well as abstaining from the negative digital behaviors that we have come to associate with smart phone technology,&amp;quot; explains DeBolt. &amp;quot;I recommend that parents get familiar with all the features of the phone at the store or, at the very least, have their child walk them through each of the features. Keeping an upbeat attitude engage your child in a line of questioning about how each feature could potentially be used for bad. This allows you to insert the topic of responsibility into their hands while keeping the cool factor of the new phone front and center.&amp;quot; Dr. Zelinger recommends starting with, &amp;quot;Honey, (or whatever endearing words you use) Mom and I are proud of you, and are really impressed about how grown up your becoming. We&amp;#039;ve spoken a lot about your being responsible enough to have your own cell phone, and there are a few things we&amp;#039;d like to talk about with you before we make our decision. We&amp;#039;ve seen and heard a lot of things on the news about how kids use their phones. Tell us what plans you have for yours, and if you know about the things you shouldn&amp;#039;t do with your phone. &amp;quot;  And really stress to your kids that, &amp;quot;You can go from a text to Twitter and Facebook in a matter of seconds,&amp;quot; adds Geoffrey Arone, co-founder of safetyweb.com. Though the consequences may not be as evident or severe, DeBolt also warns, &amp;quot;Tell your kids that irresponsibly clicking on links received in email or chat, or installing &amp;quot;free&amp;quot; software that ultimately contains Malware can compromise their phone&amp;#039;s privacy and security, giving the contents of their phone to hackers and causing lasting negative effects.&amp;quot;  Oftentimes, parents are afraid to expose their children to reality, &amp;quot;\u2026but children have been really demoralized by smartphone mishaps, so it is really important to have open and honest conversations,&amp;quot; says Dr. Zelinger. Try kicking off the conversation with, &amp;quot;Can you believe that this student wasn&amp;#039;t accepted to medical school because of something he put on his Facebook page?&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;Can you believe this little girl was talking to a friend and the other mother saw the text message and shared it with all the other mothers?&amp;quot; with younger ones.  3. Prep your kids to just say no. Though you might not like to think that your own child could become a victim, the omnipresence of tween and teen texting puts all children at risk. A recent Pew study found that half of 12- to 17-year-olds send over 50 text messages a day and text their friends more than they talk to them on the phone or even in person. &amp;quot;Being pestered by an aggressive guy or girl to send racy pictures or messages can be very distressing for adolescents,&amp;quot; says Dr. Andre van Rooyen, PhD, a family psychologist specializing in adolescent issues. But there are ways they can easily remove themselves from a sticky situation. First, remind your kids to password-protect their phone so bullies or potential predators can&amp;#039;t flip through any stored pictures. If they are actively being pressured to send pictures of naked body parts they can send a picture of a bear&amp;#039;s butt to the aggressor with a note that says &amp;quot;Here&amp;#039;s the photo of a &amp;#039;bare butt&amp;#039;, as requested!&amp;quot; Another great tactic is having your child text back &amp;quot;This is [_____&amp;#039;s] parent. Please stop sending inappropriate messages.&amp;quot; And always, always, make sure your children know to tell you or another trusted adult whenever they are put in an uncomfortable situation so the proper action can be taken. If your child is afraid of being bullied or ridiculed for coming clean to a grown up, &amp;quot;Let them know these &amp;quot;digital secrets&amp;quot; could damage their reputations forever, so it&amp;#039;s important that parents convey that there are real consequences for digital actions.&amp;quot;  For an exclusive Redbook offer with Total Defense, go here to get 15% off the current sale price of the Mobile Security software. Use code PKR46492 and get your child protected for only $17.49.  Be one of the first fifty Redbook readers to sign up with SafetyWeb here using this code and get one year free using this exclusive code for Redbook readers: AWPGEKH7CJRV "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/mom-kids/advice/a12913/cell-phone-parental-control/>