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" Question  I am extremely untrusting of my husband. Apart from some minor instances, he&amp;#039;s never really given me any reason not to trust &amp;amp;#8211; although he did tell me a few lies at the beginning of our relationship.  We mostly have a happy marriage, but my jealousy is what is causing me to be most unhappy. I have low self-esteem due to the fact that I am overweight and nothing I do seems to help me to lose weight.  My husband says he is happy with me the way I am; that he loves me as I am and that he fancies me, etc. However, I find myself turning the TV over if Jennifer Lopez comes on because he said he found her attractive, or questioning him about women he works with, what they look like, does he find them attractive, etc.  I dream about him having affairs and question his movements at work, who he eats lunch with, etc. I drive myself crazy, and although he never has a go at me for questioning him, I know this must drive him mad too. He just continues to tell me that I&amp;#039;m the best thing that&amp;#039;s ever happened to him, that he loves me and only me, that he&amp;#039;ll never cheat on me and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.  I know that my problems are down to me, and I also know that they&amp;#039;re probably due to past relationships etc, but I don&amp;#039;t know how to get past this and stop questioning him all the time. I love him so much and I&amp;#039;m worried that I&amp;#039;ll eventually stretch his patience to the limit and drive him away. He&amp;#039;s a wonderful, loving, caring husband and a fantastic father to our two kids, so why do I feel the need to constantly look for signs that he&amp;#039;s cheating on me or finding other women more attractive than he finds me?  We have no problems sexually &amp;amp;#8211; when we do it. My husband would have sex every day if I were to let him, but I find myself saying no, pushing him away or making excuses up to not do it. When we do have sex it&amp;#039;s absolutely amazing and I ask myself why I&amp;#039;ve put it off for so long (sometimes it can be a couple of months). I hope you can throw some light on this situation because like I said, I&amp;#039;m driving myself mad!   Answer David writes: Yes - as you realise, this is very self-destructive behaviour. It&amp;#039;s very &amp;#039;marriage-destructive&amp;#039; too - because you&amp;#039;re doing the one thing that MIGHT just possibly drive your husband into the arms of another woman. I would bet a lot of money that your man is absolutely faithful. But only giving him sex every two months is NOT the way to KEEP him faithful. My guess is that a lot of your trouble is low self-esteem. Over to Christine ... Christine adds: Yes, I am in total agreement with David on this one. There is a great deal you can do to help yourself on self-esteem - and I&amp;#039;ll come to that in a moment. But I honestly feel that your jealousy has become so destructive than you urgently need some relationship counselling. I suggest you get this from your local branch of Relate. Their address will be in your local phone book.  You also mention your weight - but don&amp;#039;t say just how overweight you are. However, it sounds very much as if you are eating for the wrong reasons - to gain comfort, for example, as opposed to eating because you&amp;#039;re hungry. When this happens, dieting alone is never going to be the answer. If you really over-eat or binge eat, I suggest you get hold of an excellent book called &amp;#039;Overcoming Binge Eating&amp;#039; by Christopher Fairburn, published by Guilford Press. Back to the self-esteem issue, one positive step would be to enrol in a local assertiveness class. Your local educational authority will be able to tell you about these - or your public library will have details. I suggest you do the self-esteem test - and then act on the advice given. I am really pleased you&amp;#039;ve written to us. Now, get going on the advice we&amp;#039;ve given and things will definitely improve.  Good luck! Yours sincerely Dr David Delvin, GP, and Christine Webber, sex and relationships expert   Other Qs &amp;amp; As Am I just being jealous about this other woman? I am overcome with jealously when my girlfriend acts in a love scene I can&amp;#039;t stand thinking about my husband masturbating I do not want my sister to think that my man is attracted to her I just can&amp;amp;#8217;t trust my boyfriend I&amp;#039;m so jealous about men  I&amp;#039;m worried about what he will get up to in Amsterdam Me and my jealousy My fianc\u00E9 has a &amp;amp;#8216;foot fetish&amp;amp;#8217; which has made me jealous of other women My jealousy is ruining my relationship with my husband My jealousy over my first boyfriend is out of control My maddening jealousy is pushing my partner away My partner and I are jealous and violent toward each other She&amp;#039;s so jealous that she is killing our relationship   Last updated 28.01.2007 "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ask-the-expert/sexual-health/a1816/why-don8217t-i-trust-my-loving-husband/>