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"  A few weeks back, I dropped my daughter, Ida, off with a neighbor and rushed to work. This is the sum total of what I know about the woman I entrusted with my 18-month-old&amp;#039;s life: Her name is Lisa, she lives on my block, and she has two kids. I didn&amp;#039;t \u2014 still don&amp;#039;t \u2014 know her last name, and I forgot to take her phone number with me to the office. I had chatted with her a few times in passing, on my way to our neighborhood park, and she&amp;#039;d nicely offered to babysit. So when my nanny called in sick at the last minute, I took her up on it.  During my commute to work that day, I couldn&amp;#039;t believe I had left my kid with a stranger. If I&amp;#039;d stayed home, would the office have come to a standstill? No. Would I have been fired on the spot for taking a day off? Unlikely. But in the panic of that morning, all I could think about was the giant to-do list waiting at my desk, the inconvenience I&amp;#039;d cause my boss, and, most importantly, the shame of failing to manage my personal life in a way that didn&amp;#039;t interfere with my job. It&amp;#039;s as if the day I became a mother I&amp;#039;d made some tacit agreement to never let my new, non-paying job interfere with the one that gives me a salary. How hopeful I was \u2014 and how very wrong. I had no idea that life with kids would be so messy and unpredictable, so marked by those WTF moments when the urge to be a perfect employee and the urge to be a perfect mom rush at each other in a game of chicken. Inevitably, one of them goes screaming off the track. Most of the time, it&amp;#039;s only a temporary derailment. Your boss forgives you and your kid forgives you. What&amp;#039;s tougher is forgiving yourself. We aim for peak performance at home and at work, especially in this uncertain economy. My income helps pay the mortgage, put food on the table, and save for college and isn&amp;#039;t something I can casually toss aside. Plus, I like my job.  In a new poll of working moms conducted by REDBOOK and Yahoo!, 76 percent said that despite its stresses, working makes them happier. Yet 70 percent also admitted to feeling guilty when they can&amp;#039;t do things for their families because of work, and 41 percent say that people in their lives judge them for their choices. Tellingly, 34 percent admit that they&amp;#039;re doing the harshest judging themselves.  &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t think you can be a good parent or a good employee without feeling guilty. I feel guilty every day,&amp;quot; says New York Times columnist Lisa Belkin, the author of Life&amp;#039;s Work: Confessions of an Unbalanced Mom. Belkin suggests that much of this stress is a byproduct of progress: Work is more critical to women than ever before, and they have the ability to get jobs they love, to earn more money, and to rise higher in their careers. &amp;quot;Choices,&amp;quot; she says, &amp;quot;require trade-offs.&amp;quot; In fact, a new study from the University of Washington suggests that working moms who recognize that they can&amp;#039;t juggle everything seamlessly are less likely to be depressed than those who think women can do it all \u2014 something researchers call &amp;quot;the supermom myth.&amp;quot; They note that we become far happier once we accept that most days call for tough decisions. Not that it&amp;#039;s any fun having to make those decisions. I don&amp;#039;t like going to work when my daughter is sick at home, and I hate that I missed her first trip to the zoo. All of which makes me appreciate the times we do have together. On a recent Sunday, my husband and I took Ida to the beach at Coney Island, a spur-of-the-moment trip. She held my hand and ran around the shoreline, laughing every time a wave crashed in front of us. It was an image I carried with me to the office the following Monday and all that week as I scrambled through work, dashing in and out of endless meetings. Even on the mornings it hurts to leave her, I know I&amp;#039;m headed to a place that stimulates and energizes me in a totally different but significant way. Maybe this is as close as any working mom comes to attaining &amp;quot;work\u2013life balance&amp;quot; \u2014 a term I&amp;#039;ve always disliked, since it implies that what I&amp;#039;m doing five days out of the week isn&amp;#039;t actually my life. I may not have achieved balance, but I try not to let the imperfect days drag me down. It helps to know that WTF moments happen to everybody, and proof is on these pages, in multitasking-gone-wrong stories from famous women, corporate powerhouses, and admirably honest REDBOOK readers. Their willingness to share makes it easier for us all to muddle through \u2014 and to remember that if we&amp;#039;re lucky, a WTF moment makes for a pretty good laugh later on. Oh, and Lisa Whatever-your-name-is, I owe you one. Paula Szuchman is the deputy managing editor of Newsweek and coauthor of Spousonomics.  &amp;quot;YEAH, THAT&amp;#039;S MY WATER BREAKING. SHOULD WE FINISH THIS MEMO?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;While I was a House member, I was pregnant with my second child. I worked straight through my pregnancy, and on one particular day in May 2008, I was in an Armed Services Committee meeting. I spent the whole day at the hearing, and as the afternoon wore on, I began feeling what I didn&amp;#039;t realize at the time were pre-labor contractions. I stuck it out until 9 p.m., at which point I went home and got in bed. Sure enough, that night my water broke, and I rushed to the emergency room to give birth. Looking back, I think, How did I have the strength? I was literally sitting in a room analyzing very complex issues for 12 straight hours while having contractions \u2014 it was slightly overambitious, to say the least.&amp;quot; \u2014 KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND, 44, U.S. SENATOR FROM NEW YORK; TWO CHILDREN, 7 AND 3 &amp;quot;I was really busy with season 7 of The Biggest Loser, and I&amp;#039;d had a pretty easy second pregnancy. But then, right at the end, my doctor was concerned because my fluids were low, so she started doing regular stress tests on the baby. Of course, nothing made me more stressed out than something not going according to plan, because I had set a certain day to be my last day at work. It wasn&amp;#039;t like I could call in sick; everybody was counting on me. I had to stand on the Biggest Loser scale for three hours to tape a weigh-in, and then I went back to the doctor&amp;#039;s office \u2014 and then to the hospital, because the doctor was still concerned. I was literally in full hair and makeup when I had the baby that night. Nature just doesn&amp;#039;t care what you do for a living.&amp;quot; \u2014 ALISON SWEENEY, 35, ACTRESS; TWO CHILDREN, 6 AND 2 CHILD CARE? WHAT CHILD CARE? &amp;quot;I took off on a daylong out-of-town business trip and completely forgot that it was a half-day at my children&amp;#039;s school. My kids were left on the playground. I got a series of frantic calls, and I had to stop my presentation and pick up the phone in a conference room full of clients. In front of everyone, I scrambled to understand what was going on, then desperately grasped after solutions. Thankfully a &amp;#039;good&amp;#039; mom was nearby when the school called and picked them up for me. Since then, I&amp;#039;ve tried to be more businesslike as a mom. My kids&amp;#039; schedules are now treated exactly like my work deadlines: I keep one calendar on my Android for everything from making a Helen Keller costume to presentations with CEOs of Fortune 500 companies.&amp;quot; \u2014 LISA MERRIAM, 47, NEW YORK CITY; OWNER OF MERRIAM ASSOCIATES, A MARKETING CONSULTING FIRM; TWO CHILDREN, 9 AND 7 &amp;quot;When I first took the job in Washington, DC, I had to go to community meetings every night. With no babysitter, I was in a situation where I often had to drag my daughters, then 9 and 6, along. Then one day, I went to pick my daughter up from her school, and she pulled me over to the bulletin board and said, &amp;#039;We had to write something for Black History Month. Look at mine.&amp;#039; She had written out my stump speech: &amp;#039;I have a dream that someday, regardless of race or zip code, every child will have access to an excellent education.&amp;#039; I was pretty proud, but thought, Oh, my gosh, I&amp;#039;ve taken her to way too many of these things! I hadn&amp;#039;t noticed how much it was seeping into their heads. It was an eye-opener that I had to do a better job of managing what they were going to with me.&amp;quot; \u2014 MICHELLE RHEE, 41, FOUNDER OF STUDENTSFIRST AND FORMER CHANCELLOR OF THE DC PUBLIC SCHOOLS; TWO CHILDREN, 12 AND 9 &amp;quot;MY BRAIN IS STILL ON MATERNITY LEAVE&amp;quot; &amp;quot;A few years ago, my son called from school asking if I could pick him up because he wasn&amp;#039;t feeling well. I said, &amp;#039;Sure, I&amp;#039;ll be there as soon as I make one phone call.&amp;#039; As I jumped into my car, I remember thinking, Wow, I really can do it all. I showed up at the school, ran to the office, and the receptionist said, &amp;#039;I don&amp;#039;t recall your son&amp;#039;s name, but why don&amp;#039;t you go to the counselor&amp;#039;s office?&amp;#039; I almost died when the counselor said, &amp;#039;Mrs. Grahl, we had your son last year. He&amp;#039;s in junior high now.&amp;#039;&amp;quot; \u2014 TERRY GRAHL, 43, TAYLOR, MI; CEO OF ENCHANTED MAKEOVERS; FOUR CHILDREN, 18, 15, 13, AND 11 &amp;quot;I had a business meeting with a photographer to discuss product pictures for my website along with packaging and advertising materials. We met to nail down a firm number on his fees, and it was my chance to give my list of expectations before we went any further. I opened my briefcase and laughed, because when the inspiration for what I wanted had hit me, I&amp;#039;d had nothing to write on but a Winnie the Pooh coloring-book page. So there I was, trying to drive a hard bargain while referring to my half-colored Winnie the Pooh document. There was no hiding it, no trying to be cool. So I just went with it, like it was the most normal thing ever. And I still got the price I wanted!&amp;quot; \u2014 LESLIE HAYWOOD, 39, CHARLESTON, SC; FOUNDER OF GRILL CHARMS, BY CHARMED LIFE PRODUCTS; TWO CHILDREN, 8 AND 6 &amp;quot;When my son Rob was about 4 months old, I went back to work for a big meeting and was thrilled to find that I could fit into my business suits again. I gave my speech and was feeling great until I returned to my seat, took my jacket off, and realized that I had spit-up all over the shoulder and down the back. It was a mess! Interestingly, no one said a word\u2026 until about six years later. By that time, I was a vice president in the company. And after one of my presentations, a male colleague came up to me and said, &amp;#039;Did you check your jacket to be sure you don&amp;#039;t have spit-up on it this time?&amp;#039; Oh, men \u2014 they never forget.&amp;quot; \u2014 SHARON DECKER, 54, RUTHERFORDTON, NC; FOUNDER OF THE NONPROFIT THE TAPESTRY GROUP; FOUR CHILDREN, 26, 22, 20, AND 15   AH, PUMPING    &amp;quot;As a breast-feeding mother, my pump was my constant companion at work. Thankfully, I had a private office, with a gorgeous, unobstructed view of the river, so I never took the time to close the blinds. One day, while pumping, I heard a loud thwack on the window. Startled, I turned around and got the scare of my life: A window washer was scaling the building and had just settled onto the ledge outside my office. Horrified, I rushed to button my shirt. Motherhood is full of surprises, but I&amp;#039;ve learned there&amp;#039;s no point in getting embarrassed!&amp;quot; \u2014 MONIQUE KELLERMAN, 34, PORTLAND, OR; MARKETING DIRECTOR; TWO CHILDREN, 5 AND 3  &amp;quot;When I was at CNN, I was asked to moderate one of the presidential primary debates between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton in Austin, TX. My first child, Eli, who was just 8 weeks old, was back home in New York with my husband. I was still breast-feeding, so I had to pump every three hours. My plan was to pump right before we went live, so I frantically had to find a place with some privacy, because Secret Service agents were everywhere. I literally had to sit down on the floor of a closet, minutes before the debate, to pump. Then I begged an intern to run my breast milk back to my hotel room and stick it in the mini-fridge so I could FedEx it home to my husband that night. As I raced to my seat, all I could think was, Please, God, over the next three hours, do not let my boobs explode. Fortunately, they didn&amp;#039;t! But after that night, I stopped trying to type-A my life as a mother the way I did my job. I still pumped and I gave my kid breast milk, but when I didn&amp;#039;t get home in time, I realized that giving him formula didn&amp;#039;t make me a bad mother. I became way more Zen and started having fun. You just have to realize it&amp;#039;s very much an imperfect science.&amp;quot; \u2014 CAMPBELL BROWN, 43, JOURNALIST; TWO CHILDREN, 3 AND 2   &amp;quot;I JUST NEED TO CLOSE MY EYES FOR A SECOND\u2026&amp;quot;    &amp;quot;My kiddo suffered from acid reflux and never slept more than an hour and a half straight for the first three months. Between that and recovering from a C-section, I was anything but rested when I went back to work full-time after 12 weeks. I will confess straight up that I fell asleep in a client meeting \u2014 sitting next to our CEO. When I was startled awake, I said, &amp;#039;I haven&amp;#039;t slept in a few days, I&amp;#039;m very sorry.&amp;#039; Being honest is the best thing you can do, and everyone understood. The message for me is the same one we all need to hear: You have to take care of yourself, too.&amp;quot; \u2014 BETH BADER, 45, KANSAS CITY, MO; DIGITAL DIRECTOR OF USER EXPERIENCE AND COAUTHOR OF THE CLEANER PLATE CLUB; ONE CHILD, 6  &amp;quot;About 15 years ago, I was overworked and overtired. I was taking evening classes to become an aerobics instructor while juggling my shifts as a nurse. One night, it was superhot in our house, so after I put my three preschool-aged kids to bed, I went to rest in the basement where it was cooler. I&amp;#039;m a light sleeper, so I figured I&amp;#039;d hear the kids if they needed me. Well, they woke up, couldn&amp;#039;t find me, and cried until the neighbors came over and looked after them for three hours. My husband got home and found me sleeping like a log. Turned out, I had pneumonia. Obviously my body was giving me signs that I was exhausted, and I had flat-out ignored them. It was a huge, life-changing lesson.&amp;quot; \u2014 STEPHANIE STAPLES, 45, MANITOBA, CANADA; LIFE COACH; THREE CHILDREN, 21, 20, AND 18   WHAT, YOUR KID DIDN&amp;#039;T COME WITH A MUTE BUTTON?    &amp;quot;I started my restaurant PR firm when my daughter was a few months old. As she grew \u2014 and my business grew \u2014 I found myself on long pitch calls with editors in New York. I couldn&amp;#039;t afford a sitter, and I had to do something to keep her quiet, so in a pinch I bought a can of whipped cream and squirted it into her mouth every time she attempted to make a sound. Crazy, yes, but it worked!&amp;quot; \u2014 KATE LACROIX, 37, BOULDER, CO; OWNER OF DISH PUBLICITY; ONE CHILD, 7  &amp;quot;Four years ago, I had an important conference call regarding a big press event. I work from home, and just as I got on the call, one child woke up from his nap and the other had run to the potty. I managed to pull the napper out of his crib and get him set up with some snacks in his high chair. But the other one was, well, pottying. When I heard him say, &amp;#039;I need a wipe,&amp;#039; I started to panic, so I took the call off speakerphone and hid just outside the front door. As I was going through my pitch, I heard the mail slot creak open and he yelled, &amp;#039;MOMMY, CAN YOU WIPE MY BUTT?&amp;#039;&amp;quot; \u2014 JULIE IMREK KUENSTLE, 43, BELLAIRE, TX; FREELANCE PUBLICIST; THREE CHILDREN, 10, 7, AND 5  ON-THE-JOB MOMS CONFESS REDBOOK teamed up with Yahoo! for an exclusive poll of 722 working moms. And the results say\u2026 you&amp;#039;re stressed. But happy!  WHAT&amp;#039;S MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU IN A JOB? \u2022 Having a flexible schedule\u2026 48% \u2022 Enjoying what I do\u2026 32% \u2022 Increasing my income and advancing my career\u2026 16% \u2022 Getting recognized by my boss and peers\u2026 4%   DESPITE ITS STRESSES, WORK MAKES ME A HAPPIER PERSON. \u2022 Agree\u2026 76% \u2022 Disagree\u2026 24%   DO YOU THINK THERE REALLY IS SUCH A THING AS A &amp;quot;WORK\u2013LIFE BALANCE&amp;quot;? \u2022 Yes, but very few \u2022 people can actually pachieve it\u2026 43% \u2022 Yes, I find it&amp;#039;s possible to juggle both without too much trouble\u2026 30% \u2022 No, but I used to think so before I had kids\u2026 15% \u2022 No, and whoever invented that term is an idiot\u2026 12%   WHICH OF THESE THINGS HAS CAUSED YOU SERIOUS STRESS? \u2022 Not being with my child during the day when he/she is sick\u2026 66% \u2022 Arriving late at work (or for a meeting) because of my kids\u2026 59% \u2022 Not being able to attend school events or special events for my kids\u2026 55% \u2022 Dealing with child care\u2026 55% \u2022 Running late for my kids&amp;#039; events because of work\u2026 52%   DO YOU EVER FEEL JUDGED FOR YOUR CHOICES? \u2022 Others don&amp;#039;t judge me, but I&amp;#039;m harsh on myself\u2026 34% \u2022 Yes, mostly by other moms\u2026 20% \u2022 Yes, mostly by my coworkers and boss\u2026 12% \u2022 Yes, mostly by my family\u2026 9% \u2022 No, thank goodness\u2026 25% "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/mom-kids/advice/a12894/working-moms/>