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" Lovelies: I had an Internet date on Friday night. The dude was quite cute, with a big flop of sandy blonde hair and a tiny gap between his teeth. He was younger than me (of course) by six years. His look was both preppy and kind of arty: He had on khakis and a blue-striped dress shirt, but he was also wearing a cool navy hoody that had elbow patches, and a brown navy cap. He works in finance, but clearly didn&amp;#039;t think his job was all that cool--adamant as he was that his work was separate from the rest of his life. A side note: This happens quite frequently in New York City: people with perfectly respectable--and very lucrative--jobs apologize for not doing something more interesting with their lives. When I was younger and dumber, I used to think: Yes, your job IS kind of boring! And I&amp;#039;d rather date someone who&amp;#039;s doing something creative with his life. Now that I&amp;#039;m older, wiser, and a little less crazy (just a little), there&amp;#039;s something very appealing about meeting men who can actually afford to both pay their rent and even take me out to dinner. And I think two of the most eligible bachelors I know--my friends Kermie Ottawa (a banker) and Bear Cummings (a lawyer)*--are dudes who genuinely enjoy their &amp;quot;boring&amp;quot; jobs and find them intellectually stimulating; they also happen to have a wider range of interests and knowledge than most of the &amp;quot;artsy&amp;quot; guys I know. (Plus, they&amp;#039;re really nice.)  Anyway ... I knew Sandy Financester had a snazzy job but was also a big fan of visual art and indie music; I imagined he might be like Kermie and Bear. Nice! ... But at the same time, the two of us had spoken a couple times on the phone, and while the chats were perfectly pleasant, they were also a little too polite. Which is to say kind of boring. So I stalled a bit, when it came to meeting up. Finally, though, on Friday, I had nothing else going on so I agreed to hang with him. As I biked over to the wine bar where we were meeting, I began thinking: Why not just KISS HIM at the end?! Even--perhaps especially--if I&amp;#039;m not that into him? I only live once! By the time I arrived at Olivino, I was totally sold on my kissing-bandit scheme. Unfortunatley, however, it was impossible to execute. While Sandy was incredibly sweet and very cute, we didn&amp;#039;t have an ounce of chemistry. The experience wasn&amp;#039;t unpleasant, and the time passed quite quickly ...but in the back of my mind, I kept thinking that if I got home early enough, I&amp;#039;d be able to squeeze in a DVD before bed. So we politely parted ways after a couple hours, and I rushed back home to watch the Netflick that had just arrived: the very dark Todd Solodnz comedy HAPPINESS. In which a female character tells a male character--a guy from her building--about how she killed their doorman. Not really such a brilliant first-date topic. It occurred to me that I had dropped one small bomb myself, while Sandy and I were sipping our temperanillos: I&amp;#039;d talked about a once dear friend of mine whom I&amp;#039;d &amp;quot;broken up&amp;quot; for reasons that are too complicated to go into in this post. Unfortunately, I did go into the details with Sandy--and that story is really a little too dark for first-date banter. By that point, of course, I&amp;#039;d decided I wasn&amp;#039;t into him, so it didn&amp;#039;t matter much; but it&amp;#039;s not a mistake I&amp;#039;d like to make with a dude I liked.  Which other things should we avoid discussing on a first date?  1) Ex-boyfriends. I&amp;#039;m not saying you can&amp;#039;t mention that you just broke up with someone a month ago, or three months ago, or whatever the case may be. Just keep all discussion VERY minimal. No gory details. Don&amp;#039;t say anything that would indicate you&amp;#039;re bitter over the whole thing, or still obsessed with the ex. 2) Family drama. If you haven&amp;#039;t spoken to your father in years, you hate your mother, or think your brother&amp;#039;s new wife is white trash ... keep a lid on it for the time being. Oteherwise, you could come off as someone who is difficult to get along with or too judgemental. What&amp;#039;s more, potential significant others might be scared off if they think potential mates don&amp;#039;t have a supportive family--because it can be discomfitting to think about getting involved with someone who doesn&amp;#039;t have a strong support network. Wait a few dates--until you&amp;#039;ve already worked your charm--before going into the details of any unhappy family dynamic. 3) Psychopharmaceutical drugs you&amp;#039;re taking. Discussion of such things could make a person nervous that you&amp;#039;re a little unhinged--even though we know you&amp;#039;re not. Peeps who aren&amp;#039;t on anti-depressants and the like (or don&amp;#039;t have friends who are) may not understand that taking them is not big deal until he or she has spent enough time with you to see that they&amp;#039;re not. 4) People with whom you&amp;#039;ve had (or are having!) casual sex. (If this requires more explanation, see this post for details.) Bonus topic to avoid? Your blog (if you have one). Trust me. # # # # #  Lovelies--I know this list is not exhaustive by any means. What are your thoughts? What have I missed? What are the things you&amp;#039;ve talked about on a first date that you wish you could strike from the record? xxx! # # # # # *These are their porn-star names, while Sandy Financester is obviously a silly pseudonym. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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