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" Going to the gym can be stressful. Instead of leg elongating slacks, calf-defining heels, and tricep shrouding knits, we&amp;#039;re thrust into the intimidating world of green juiceheads wearing nothing but our butt huggers. And though the only posted guidelines are few and far between\u2014ditch the cell phone and re-rack your barbells (it&amp;#039;s what separates us from the animals!)\u2014sweat enthusiasts know there&amp;#039;s a secret manual of unwritten rules. Here, we unearth it: 1. If you think you are in everyone&amp;#039;s way while you are jumping rope, you most certainly are. 2. During SoulCycle, if I&amp;#039;m not on the beat, and you&amp;#039;re just jamming away with your dominant leg to &amp;quot;Holy Grail,&amp;quot; let&amp;#039;s avoid eye contact. We both know what&amp;#039;s happening. 3. Don&amp;#039;t check your e-mail while doing your planks. This too shall pass. 4. There is no shame in an Eminem-only playlist game.  Related: Gwyneth Paltrow&amp;#039;s Simple Night Ritual 5. It&amp;#039;s okay to cry during Eagle Pose. We store emotion in our hips! 6. Pre-gym iced coffee? A must. Post-gym iced coffee? A rite of passage. Mid-elliptical iced coffee? Who are you, Marie Antoinette? 7. I don&amp;#039;t care if it shrunk. I don&amp;#039;t care if you found it at a sample sale. I don&amp;#039;t care if you are Jack and Laz&amp;#039;s BFF. If you are wearing a tie-dye Proenza Schouler T-shirt to the gym, to me, you are a jerkus from the circus.  8. Confirmed: Accidentally ripping your own headphones out of your ears is the most infuriating feeling in the world. 9. Never take the bottom right locker and then stuff it so inconceivably tight with your puffer jacket, laptop bag, wellies, rubber chicken, and troll collection that when I hit up my &amp;quot;secret spot,&amp;quot; it spills out like a closet full of sports equipment on an episode of The Brady Bunch. 10. It&amp;#039;s okay to spend money on new gym clothes while in the throes of an endorphin rush. We&amp;#039;ve all done it. **Gestures to collection of &amp;quot;Keep Calm and Barry On&amp;quot; tank tops** 11. If your iPod dies during cardio, you have our permission to go home. 12. If you take my sneakers after hot yoga, you are officially the devil. 13. Never use a rubberband as a hair thing while running. 14. But also, never, ever Kelly Bensimon it.  Related: The 6 Dirtiest Eating Habits and How to Break Them 15. If you see an acquaintance chugging away on the elliptical machine and she gives you a wan smile and a curt wave, she doesn&amp;#039;t want to talk about how well you are doing at work and how it&amp;#039;s just sooo busy this time of the year. Trust us.  16. This will make you feel better: If there are mirrors at your gym, no one is looking at you. They&amp;#039;re all just making sweet mirror sex with themselves. 17. No wedge sneakers at the gym. No exceptions. 18. Though shalt not flip your sweaty ponytail in anyone&amp;#039;s face. 19. A fresh pedicure is a great incentive to get your tush to Bikram. Who me? The gal with the perfect tootsies? Total yoga master.  20. If there&amp;#039;s a hole in the crotch of your Nikes, they need to go to spandy heaven. It&amp;#039;s better this way. 21. Taking off your long-sleeve while running with headphones never gets easier. We&amp;#039;re all just doing our best here. 22. Do not spread your things all across the bench in the locker room. Keep them high and tight. 23. If, while in the locker room, I&amp;#039;m standing directly in front of a hair dryer with a paddle brush in one hand, yes, I am using it. Related: I Tried an Aerial Hoop Workout  24. The spandex-sock-sneaker selfie? Not a good look.  25. Never put lotion on your face before running on the treadmill\u2014unless you like unintentional milk baths. Then, by all means! 26. It&amp;#039;s very, very nice to get someone else a mat when it&amp;#039;s get-a-mat time. It is very, very mean to turn into a pointy elbow machine when the instructor says there aren&amp;#039;t enough to go around. 27. Don&amp;#039;t blow your nose in the gym hand towels\u2014no matter how tempting it is. 28. Some days, 5.5 mph is as good as it gets.  29. Yes, you need a snack before bootcamp. You are not a unique snowflake. You will get dizzy. 30. Gym talk is annoying\u2014until it makes perfect sense. So, go ahead, leave it all on the mat, you warrior, you.  Getty Images (4); Splash News (2); Giphy "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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