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"  Every ophthalmologist I&amp;#039;ve known wears glasses. Someone told me there was a front-page screamer on top of a newspaper in New Zealand: LARRY KING LEAVING SHOW. Who knew I was that big in Auckland? You can&amp;#039;t have happiness without having had unhappiness, because how else would you know what&amp;#039;s happy? I never learned anything while I was talking. The secret to my success is brevity. Sincerity. And, above all, curiosity. You never sound like you to you. I don&amp;#039;t hear my voice as raspy as you do. When I hear people imitate me \u2014 &amp;quot;Altoona, hello!&amp;quot; \u2014 that ain&amp;#039;t me, to me.  Questions about my marriages and divorces always take me to the same place. I once asked Stephen Hawking, the smartest guy in the world, what he didn&amp;#039;t understand. He said, &amp;quot;Women.&amp;quot; If the smartest guy in the world couldn&amp;#039;t understand them, what do you expect from me? Great athletes never have lousy names. If your name is Frederico Trepalano, you are not going to be a great ballplayer. Michael Jordan is a great name. Easy to remember. Seven letters and six letters. Usually, if they combine to thirteen, they&amp;#039;re good names. I&amp;#039;m into numbers. The three greatest words in the English language are not: I love you. That&amp;#039;s second. The first are: Leave me alone. I&amp;#039;m against capital punishment in all cases except meter maids.  Look at that: five new voice mails. Never heard the phone ring once. If I could fix something, I would perfect cell phones. What makes one jockey better than another? Horses run for him. There&amp;#039;s a difference between funny and mean. You can&amp;#039;t do anything about anything you can&amp;#039;t do anything about.  George Bush forty-three was the only president I ever met who was exactly on time. Billionaires never say they&amp;#039;re billionaires. People with money say money isn&amp;#039;t important. I never heard a poor person say money isn&amp;#039;t important. Sinatra was so sad at the end of his life. He told me, &amp;quot;All my friends are gone.&amp;quot; If you have two friends in your life, you&amp;#039;ve got a bounty. Hockey I can teach you in a day. Basketball is basically an understandable game. But it&amp;#039;s impossible to teach baseball to an adult \u2014 too many nuances.  Flying private is the world&amp;#039;s greatest luxury. You don&amp;#039;t get jet-lagged.  If you&amp;#039;re frozen, you die with a modicum of hope. No other people have hope, except those who believe. Believers are in a no-lose situation. They&amp;#039;re either gonna be in a better place and then they&amp;#039;ll know it. Or they won&amp;#039;t be in a better place \u2014 but they&amp;#039;ll never know it. I can&amp;#039;t remember the last time I bought a pair of suspenders. A lot of people send them to me. Ryan Seacrest sends me all my jeans. I have eighty shirts in the closet. You want a shirt? What do I need eighty shirts? I haven&amp;#039;t heard Rush Limbaugh in ten years. The last time I heard him, he told an absurd lie. I could never listen again. I still remember drinking out of a water fountain that said COLORED when I arrived in Miami in 1957. The biggest change in my lifetime has been civil rights. I have two young boys. Ten and eleven. Three grown. A stepson. A house. When did it all happen? I&amp;#039;m still the nine-year-old kid walking into Ebbets Field. To not use technology to help officiate sporting events is insane. It&amp;#039;s: Okay, we&amp;#039;ll accept bad. When you get my age, you shouldn&amp;#039;t have to do what you don&amp;#039;t want to do. The toughest part was saying goodbye to the staff. They were losing their jobs and they were crying for me. Retire? To what? I&amp;#039;m not retiring. I&amp;#039;m just leaving the show. I could never retire.  People are telling me that Larry King is a brand. I always thought Pepsi-Cola was a brand. But people are trying to figure out how exactly to brand me. So if they get a good soldering iron ... Bill Maher couldn&amp;#039;t believe how funny I am. The public don&amp;#039;t know the funny part of me. They&amp;#039;re gonna find out. In the words of Louis Armstrong, &amp;quot;I see trees of green, red roses, too ...&amp;quot;  PLUS: Close Encounters with Larry King &amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;gt; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/interviews/a8167/larry-king-interview-0910/>