<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"Goodness, I thought I had it bad with &amp;amp;#8220;Hey butter tits&amp;amp;#8221;!!!You said it sister. Yesterday the Huffington Post ran an interview with Christopher Cantwell, an OKCupid moderator. Did you even know you could be one of those? Neither did Cantwell until the site randomly asked him to be one. When users flag pictures, profiles, or lewd messages, he&amp;amp;#8217;s one of the moderators who rules on the issue. I was intrigued to see these random moderators can even see private conversations if they&amp;amp;#8217;re flagged. Cantwell says a lot of people flag things unnecessarily, like a photo they deem to be &amp;amp;#8220;too far away&amp;amp;#8221; or a profile picture of the user&amp;amp;#8217;s car instead of the user (technically against the rules, but Cantwell says he doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t care). And as you can see on the website That&amp;#x27;s Not OKCupid, some of the messages or profiles, while totally weird, probably don&amp;amp;#8217;t deserve to be flagged. Just move on to the next profile. Examples: Would I choose to exchange messages with these users? Probably not, but I wouldn&amp;#x27;t feel the need to report them either. To each their own fingernail habits, or whatever. On the other hand, I find the apparently very common pattern of a guy lashing out at a woman for politely declining his advances to be a little disturbing. Example: This is one of the more restrained responses I could find. Others include much more profanity, or mature responses like &amp;quot;Yeah well, you&amp;#x27;re fat.&amp;quot; Classy. This is why I don&amp;#x27;t respond to most people who write me. A fellow moderator thought such a scenario was not ban worthy, but that the flagged user was indeed a jerk. I don&amp;#x27;t know that these users should actually be banned, but I do think this trend is incredibly disturbing and indicative of a larger pattern where men think they have a right to be angry, offended and downright aggressively hostile if a woman doesn&amp;#x27;t return their interest. I&amp;#x27;m really not OK(Cupid) with that attitude, and frankly, find it a little frightening. And speaking of the charmers who use a &amp;quot;You&amp;#x27;re fat&amp;quot; line: Sigh. It&amp;#x27;s a fine line between freedom of speech and OMG I give up ever trying to find a decent person to date. And you guys, these are just examples I thought were appropriate to share here. You can read more but let me warn you that not only is the language not safe for work, it&amp;#x27;s not safe for anyone who doesn&amp;#x27;t like unsolicited explicitly sexual messages, sexism, racism, and other awful stuff (but if you want to see for yourself, by all means head to ThatsNotOKCupid.com). And to be fair, some of the responses are just as horrible as the original messages, and both men and women can be the offending users. Oh man. Usually I just laugh at the weird messages I get, but some of these messages made me want to cry instead. Can someone please tell me a story of true love so I don&amp;#x27;t just throw in the towel of love completely? Which messages do you think are worthy of being flagged? What do you think about the hostile responses to rejection emails? Have you ever reported a user or a message on any dating site? Other nightmares: *Online Dating: The Insidiousness of The Self-Proclaimed &amp;quot;Nice Guy&amp;quot; *The Top 3 Most Dreaded Online Daters to Avoid At All Costs *Online Dating: The Fine Line Between Quirky and Totally Creepy in Messages Photo: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2012/10/read-these-flagged-okcupid-mes>