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" Olivia and Fitz having another verbal showdown after she told him she was done with their relationship last week. I don&amp;#x27;t know about you, #Gladiators, but I am straight-up putting together my last will and testament because based on how I reacted during last night&amp;#x27;s episode, it&amp;#x27;s pretty evident that immediately following Scandal&amp;#x27;s finale on May 16, my heart will be a lifeless mess. Shonda &amp;amp; Co. made some things happen this episode that cannot be ctrl + Z&amp;#x27;d. Things that are giving me palpitations, so I would like to know that before I do my Shirley Temple soft-shoe shuffle into heaven, my unused cans of Febreeze and Sex and the City DVDs are left in good hands with my mom. Anyway, while I try and figure out something suitable to leave my dad, let&amp;#x27;s break down what happened on last night&amp;#x27;s episode entitled &amp;quot;A Woman Scorned.&amp;quot; We open with Olivia swimming in a pool with a swimming cap on, to which I say, &amp;quot;Good for you, girl,&amp;quot; because I&amp;#x27;m tired of seeing all these black women in music videos splash around in water without covering their hair like they don&amp;#x27;t know that the SECOND they get out of the water, they will look like Frederick Douglass on a Black History Month stamp. Anyway, the swim is to distract herself from all the Fitz drama. When she comes up for air, she sees Jake there. She ducks back in the water. Back at her apartment, Olivia answers the knock at her door, and it&amp;#x27;s Jake again. He explains that he&amp;#x27;s protecting her per orders from the president. She calls Fitz and tells him to get Jake off her back. He counters by telling her that Mellie moved out. Olivia ignores this information because it&amp;#x27;s clearly not the time for Fitz to try and talk about the future of their relationship&amp;amp;#8212;her anger toward him is similar to how upset I get when I use the bathroom at a bar and it doesn&amp;#x27;t have toilet paper. Letting your vajayjay air dry like Downy-scented clothes on a clothing line during a summer breeze is not as lovely as it sounds when there&amp;#x27;s a row of drunk women pounding on the bathroom door. Trust. Moving on. Unless Liv wants Fitz to get a warrant to place her in jail for her safety, her only option is let Jake guard her. She does, reluctantly. James visits Cy, who is as swamped at work as a Jamaican trying to make a week&amp;#x27;s worth of incense in 24 hours, and tells him that he got offered an on-air job at BNC. Cy is so overwhelmed by the Fitz/Olivia/Mellie melodrama, he gives his blessing&amp;amp;#8212;even though last time James had a job, he basically uncovered the whole Defiance scheme. Methinks Cy not pushing for James to remain a stay-at-home dad might come back to bite him in the butt. But Cy&amp;#x27;s worried about not having the presidency fall apart like a wooden tower halfway through a game of Jenga, which is why he asks Fitz to work things out with Mellie. Fitz says he&amp;#x27;s going to call her bluff. Hey, Fitzy-poo, this isn&amp;#x27;t a game of Texas Hold &amp;#x27;Em poker: This is about your job as the leader of the free world. Could you please reach into your pants&amp;#x27; pocket and find a modicum of an eff to give? Because at this point, you&amp;#x27;re acting like a college student who&amp;#x27;s about to quit his job at the Gap and not a U.S. president who is about to be caught up in a cheating scandal that would affect the Dow, any bills getting passed, etc... Meanwhile, OPA is reviewing the security camera footage at the storage facility where Huck was attacked. Huck enters after taking the past two days off. That&amp;#x27;s ridic.com. He had a complete mental breakdown because he JUST remembered that he has a family he can never see again, and he&amp;#x27;s good as new within two days? Listen, my boyfriend accidentally walked into my fart cloud, and it took me 72 hours to emotionally recover from that. Lots of Mary J. Blige CDs were played. Back to Huck. He immediately identifies his attacker as Charlie, which makes OPA connect the dots that he was also the one who broke into Olivia&amp;#x27;s apartment. They conclude that Cy is the mole, and they tell this to Liv. She can&amp;#x27;t believe it. I can&amp;#x27;t either, but sometimes you have to say to yourself, &amp;quot;Yes, girl, this is bad news bears. Your DVR did not record the last five minutes of your favorite TV show. Quit rewinding as if those five minutes will magically appear.&amp;quot; Liv, still unconvinced, says she needs hard-core proof that he&amp;#x27;s Albatross because he is one her best friends. Cy heads over to the Blair house to tell Mellie that Fitz is not backing down. Well, Mellie has some news for him: Her interview is confirmed for tomorrow evening, so Fitz has 36 hours to get his act together or she will &amp;quot;Set Fire to the Rain,&amp;quot; Adele-style and let the whole world know her husband is a cheater. Cy storms out and calls Olivia to get confirmation that her affair is over. She says yes, and then hangs up. Next, we see that Charlie has broken into Jake&amp;#x27;s apartment and is watching the surveillance footage of Jake and Olivia hooking up. Hold up, Jake kept that video?! Oh, jeez. Doesn&amp;#x27;t he know a sex tape is not a teenage girl&amp;#x27;s tiara that she wore at her quinceanera? You do NOT keep a sex tape for sentimental value; you delete it immediately. Anyhoo, Charlie calls Cy and lets him know he has proof of the relationship. Cy has him sit on it, for now. And then it turns out that Charlie&amp;#x27;s not the only one getting evidence. OPA is investigating Charlie, but need to hack into Cy&amp;#x27;s phone logs to get more dirt on Charlie. Liv gives the green light and shortly afterwards, Huck tells her privately that Cy ordered Charlie to kill Amanda Tanner, the president&amp;#x27;s other jump-off. He&amp;#x27;s concerned because he doesn&amp;#x27;t want Olivia to meet the same fate. I heart Huck. He doesn&amp;#x27;t care one bit about his boss sleeping with the president. Everyone needs a friend like that whose middle name is &amp;quot;No Judgement&amp;quot; and last name is &amp;quot;But for Real, You Might Wanna Close Your Legs to Married Men for a While and Lock Your Doors.&amp;quot; Meanwhile, at the White House, Fitz tells Cy to let Mellie know that if she tries to destroy him, her future will be ruined as well. Then he calls Olivia and asks to see her. Fed up with his constant contact, she shows up at the Oval Office and lets him have it. Says that if he wants her, he has to earn it, then leaves like a boss. Love it. About time she stood her ground instead of yelling and kissing him passionately. Cy, who really must be tired of walking between the White House and the Blair House, attempts to make a deal with Mellie: Call off the interview, come back to Fitz, and after the re-election, she gets to tackle any important political issue such as gun violence, immigration, etc..., and pass the bill. Then in the final year of his presidency, they&amp;#x27;ll launch her career in politics as either a senator or governor, which would eventually lead to the White House. Mellie is out for blood and declines. Cy threatens to ruin any chance of her having a political career. And for once in her silly life, she does not care about her career and says no deal. He stalks off, then returns and asks her, &amp;quot;What if I can get rid of Olivia Pope?&amp;quot; OH, HELL NO! I swear if he so much as throws all of Liv&amp;#x27;s cocoa butter lotion in the garbage, then scratches her skin so she looks ashy and tore up like a used chalkboard, I will let out a battle cry that has not been heard since the movie Braveheart. Jake drops Olivia off when Fitz&amp;#x27;s assistant calls and says the Prez requested to see him alone. Captain Goose Down Pillow Lips seem unsure, but agrees to head to the White house. We then see that Cy&amp;#x27;s sneaky ass made the assistant lie. WTF?! Lawd, he&amp;#x27;s gonna kill my poor Olivia. Jake, please come back to her apartment! Oh, damn, it&amp;#x27;s too late. Cy arrives at her place. But Jake is still there! YES! He refuses to let Cy in, and lets him know that only a direct order from the president will make him leave Olivia&amp;#x27;s side. Aww, cute. You can tell that he still has feels for Liv. Cy leaves, and she lets Jake inside her place. They&amp;#x27;re drinking, and he suggests they tell each other one thing, so they can build trust again. He tells her he broke into her crib and copied the flash drive that had all the Albatross info on it. He&amp;#x27;s certain that Cy is the mole and believes that&amp;#x27;s why she didn&amp;#x27;t give the OK to let Cy in a few moments ago. Liv counters that she is still unsure, and then changes the subject. She wants to know why he slept with her. UGH! Liv, you do realize that your BFF might be trying to snatch the hair weave off your head and bury you six feet under, and you wanna know why a hot dude sexed you up? He&amp;#x27;s hot. You&amp;#x27;re hot. Tale as old as time, Beauty and the Beast. I know that&amp;#x27;s not how the song goes, but it should. Anyway, he tells her because she thinks she&amp;#x27;s amazing, but he didn&amp;#x27;t know that she was the &amp;quot;president&amp;#x27;s girl.&amp;quot; Oooooooh! She denies it and kisses him instead. They pull away, and he&amp;#x27;s like, &amp;quot;Yeah, but for reals, how deep you in with the Prez?&amp;quot; She doesn&amp;#x27;t answer and goes to bed alone. After some &amp;quot;Our marriage is good again&amp;quot; sexy time with James, Cy goes to the White House and tells Fitz that there&amp;#x27;s a camera crew outside the Blair House, and it&amp;#x27;s T minus two hours until the interview goes down. Fitz leaves, and Cy is hoping that the Prez is on his way to fix things with Mellie. OPA, after going through Charlie&amp;#x27;s phone log, finds out that he goes to a book club and started dating one of the women there for about a week. Her name is Tammy, and they interview her couple of times. During the second interview, she says Charlie stood her up, but he&amp;#x27;s good guy because he replaced her laptop after it was stolen. Then she says she recognizes David Rosen&amp;amp;#8212;he has to be an unofficial member of OPA by now&amp;amp;#8212;because she was the court stenographer during the Defiance trial. OPA realizes that Charlie took her computer to get the Defiance info, which means that Cy isn&amp;#x27;t the mole because he already knew about Defiance. OK, I&amp;#x27;m happy Cy is not the mole, but I&amp;#x27;m still not feeling him right now because he has turned on Olivia faster than a car flipping over in a game of Super Mario Kart. Fitz arrives at Olivia&amp;#x27;s and tells Jake to go home. Poor Jake. Fitz lays it all on the line. To prove that he loves her more than the presidency, he&amp;#x27;s not stopping Mellie and instead wants to wait out the final 22 minutes before the interview begins together. Whoa, he has never stepped up like this before. I&amp;#x27;m actually impressed/stunned, and Liv is as well. Cut to Mellie sitting alone and staring at the clock. Oof, I kind of feel bad because the president brought Secret Service to man Olivia&amp;#x27;s apartment while he&amp;#x27;s there, and he probably turned off the ADT security system on the Blair House because he does not give one damn about Mellie right now. Folks could walk all through that house like it&amp;#x27;s a Barnes &amp;amp; Noble cafeteria. Anyway, the 22 minutes pass, and she looks absolutely heartbroken. Meanwhile, at Liv&amp;#x27;s place, Fitz asks he what she wants and she kisses him. Sorry, Mellie. Jake tells MBD about Cy, and MBD tells him to fix the situation, but not to kill him. Jake goes home to watch his surveillance videos, and he sees that Charlie is in his house and watching the footage of Jake and Olivia having sex. Ruh roh. Unfortunately, there&amp;#x27;s more ruh roh on the way because the interview has started, and James is interviewing Mellie. Cy finds this out and runs to the Blair House while on the phone and demanding the camera be turned off. Mellie announces that Fitz has been cheating on her! WOW! I didn&amp;#x27;t think she was going to do it! I can&amp;#x27;t believe it!! And before I have time to digest what&amp;#x27;s happening, we cut to Olitz doing it. Timeout. HOW ARE FITZ AND OLIVIA GOING TO HAVE SEX DURING MELLIE&amp;#x27;S ANNOUNCEMENT LIKE THEY ARE SIMPLY BONING ON PROM NIGHT TO A GINUWINE&amp;#x27;S &amp;quot;PONY&amp;quot;? On one hand I&amp;#x27;m happy for them, but on the other hand, it&amp;#x27;s extremely reckless and foolish of them to do this now. Olivia, pick your draws up off the floor, and Fitz, treat your sausage like an Apple computer and put it on sleep mode a.k.a. tuck your junk in the waistband of your Fruit of the Looms and go save your damn job. I mean, when Bill Clinton cheated, he straight up gave Monica Lewinsky a Starbucks gift card and a bus pass. He was not about to let his world come crashing down for some tang. #FitzGetYourPrioritiesStraight Cy finally arrives to the interview taping, but knowing he&amp;#x27;s far too late, he just gives Mellie the stank eye. Returning to Olitz, they are in the shower looking at each other all lovey-dovey, and Liv doesn&amp;#x27;t have her hair covered! Y&amp;#x27;all, Olivia does not care if she looks like Frederick Douglass, Sallie Mae Douglass, or Lucas Douglass (Note: the last two people aren&amp;#x27;t real), she is bathing with her man without a shower cap on. LAWD, FITZ, DO NOT F--K THIS UP! BLACK WOMEN DO NOT GET THEIR WEAVE WET FOR MEN UNLESS THEY&amp;#x27;RE TRYING TO GO HALF ON A MORTGAGE AND HULU PLUS ACCOUNT. Finally, as is tradish with these recaps, I&amp;#x27;m ending it by giving the Kerry Washington Lip Quiver Quotient (You can read the LQQ explanation here) for the episode. Tonight was chock-full of so many &amp;quot;No, Shonda, didn&amp;#x27;t&amp;quot; moments that it only seemed right to use the &amp;quot;If This Chick at Chipotle Tells Me One More Time the Guacamole Is Extra-Oh, Snap, I Don&amp;#x27;t Get Paid Until Tomorrow. Miss, You Better Scrape That Guac Off Because I Ain&amp;#x27;t Trying to Get an Overdraft Fee Over No Damn Burrito&amp;quot; lip quiver: which, as we all know, is only used by folks in their 20s. For reals, if you&amp;#x27;re old enough to look like you could be the model on a box of Oil of Olay skin rejuvenation cream and you can&amp;#x27;t get your finances in order to afford extra guac, then you need to reevaluate your whole life. Alrighty, what did you think of last night&amp;#x27;s episode? Also, who the heck is the mole since it&amp;#x27;s not Cy? After talking to a Twitter friend, my money is on VP Sally Langston. Thoughts?"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/entertainment/blogs/obsessed/2013/05/scandal-recap-instead-of-savin>