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"   poll by twiigs.com   Negotiating complex sexual and emotional territory with some OK Cupid guy you&amp;#039;ve had drinks with twice, not to mention dealing with the double standards of being a single and sexually active woman in 2013, is hard enough. And then there are the guys that won&amp;#039;t go down on you.  You&amp;#039;d think this was an archaic and long-dead feature of modern life, like doctors smoking in their examination rooms on Mad Men. No dice. After a quick poll, we found that at least a handful of us in the office have had one experience with a guy who wouldn&amp;#039;t go downtown but are happy to let you knock yourself out down there. In casual dating, often there&amp;#039;s the third-date-blowjob followed by \u2014 um, sleep. The big question mark on the cunnilingus side just kind of hovers there, and many women feel embarrassed to ask, like it&amp;#039;s somehow gauche. Who knows, they figure. Maybe it&amp;#039;ll happen on Date 7, if we make it that far. Why does this happen? Among the excuses given by a man, post-blowjob, when it was his turn to face the (clitoris) music, was &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s too intimate!&amp;quot; I think I speak for all of us when I say that having a male glans knocking against your tonsils is pretty fucking intimate. I don&amp;#039;t mean &amp;quot;intimate&amp;quot; like &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;d only do this for someone I love&amp;quot; intimate, but &amp;quot;This requires at least the good faith that you&amp;#039;re as into my parts as I am into your parts.&amp;quot;  If the guy you&amp;#039;re seeing has some kind of 7th-grade-boy aversion to vaginas, you should take your vagina/precious time/heart off the table completely. Let&amp;#039;s face it \u2014 a lot of us are already self-conscious about them. We don&amp;#039;t need to hand-pick a guy who confirms our worst fears. Another aspect to consider: Blowjobs have basically replaced lube as the kickoff and warmup for sex. Girls are constantly going down on dudes as foreplay, or even mid-coitus sometimes, in order to get (and keep) the peen as hard as possible. On the other hand, pre-penetrative oral sex on a woman isn&amp;#039;t technically &amp;quot;necessary&amp;quot; for P-in-va-G to happen, and therefore the step is skipped often. Both the man and the woman are focused mostly on the penis. So basically, the penis is the A-list actor here; the vagina is just the no-name who&amp;#039;s only around for a reaction shot. Fuck that noise. Sometimes the commenters on this website call me &amp;quot;Bitter Breslaw.&amp;quot; You know why? Because when I am not here at work, I am dating. And dating \u2014 with its invisible compromises and etiquette rules and waiting a certain period of time to respond to texts and weird dry-humping on the couch while neither of you watch National Lampoon&amp;#039;s Christmas Vacation as planned \u2014 is awkward and emotionally exhausting as it is. And anyone who tells you differently is either lying, living in a candy-colored sitcom world, has been in a relationship for a long time, or IS LYING. We don&amp;#039;t need to deal with this on top of it. Short of starting a Change.org petition, the only thing we can do about this is to stop beating around the bush (sorry) and demand complete oral sex equality. It&amp;#039;s what Susan B. Anthony would have wanted.  Above: Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906), pimp.  Follow Anna on Twitter.   Image via MTV "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a5016/oral-sex-equality/?click=cos_new>