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" For the fifth year in a row, Esquire has taken over an incredible home -- this one an $8.5 million triplex penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park in New York City -- and worked with the world&amp;#039;s top designers and luxury brands to transform it into the ultimate bachelor pad. We use it to raise money for charity, host the occasional shindig, and, this year, to record Jay-Z&amp;#039;s newest video, &amp;quot;Blue Magic.&amp;quot; But while it&amp;#039;s great for parties, no one knew what it was like to live there. So I moved in. For one weekend, I was the ultimate bachelor -- or at least a guy who pretended to own his stuff. I threw lavish parties and drank $200 champagne on the huge terraces. Instead of making everyone watch Ohio State football with me on Saturday, I set each room&amp;#039;s large plasma TV to a different game (and one, for those so inclined, to Goldie Hawn&amp;#039;s Overboard). By the middle of the weekend, I even started getting hangers-on, and I overheard one impressed guest surveying the master bedroom whisper how lucky my girlfriend was -- although she was probably just talking about the full set of Louis Vuitton luggage.  --&amp;amp;gt;  --&amp;amp;gt;  --&amp;amp;gt;  --&amp;amp;gt;  --&amp;amp;gt;  --&amp;amp;gt;  --&amp;amp;gt;  --&amp;amp;gt;  --&amp;amp;gt;  --&amp;amp;gt;  --&amp;amp;gt;  Living Room Designed by Campion Platt for Versace Platt said he imagined this 572-square-foot space as if it were God&amp;#039;s living room: monochromatic and spare, with nothing to take away from the view (see page 56) through the 22-foot windows. The seemingly omnipresent Cluster is a four-LCD installation mounted on the wall that records and plays back up to two minutes of new video a day. But after it played one shot of me in my underwear on those huge LCDs the first morning, I figured out that I should probably start putting a napkin over its camera. One thing I practically never turned off was the pair of $140,000 Kef Muon speakers -- one of only a hundred sets in existence and the first pair in the U. S. Even with Bruce Springsteen&amp;#039;s Magic playing so loud we couldn&amp;#039;t talk, every sound was incredibly distinct.   The Bar Designed by Rockwell Group for St. Pauli Girl  The bar is designed to evoke a bottle of beer, with the curtain of Swarovski crystals replicating bubbles and the indentations in the metal base standing in for condensation. The counter is made of transparent blue plastic and houses lasers and a fog machine. All it&amp;#039;s missing is a little stage for Rush to play on.   Kitchen Designed by Dean Maltz for Valcucine The kitchen is entirely green, which means a lot of it was recycled and it contains no stain or formaldehyde. During my stay, however, none of the appliances were plugged in. Apparently the ultimate bachelor is a big fan of catering.   Library Designed by Barclay Butera for Bally There weren&amp;#039;t many real books in here, which is strange for a library, but it was still a great place to read. Or to fall asleep reading. Or just to sit and drink. The leather sofa has cashmere-and-ostrich-feather pillows, the floor&amp;#039;s covered by a $30,000 fox-fur rug, and the back table was always stocked with two decanters of Scotch. Although it was frequently suggested, I did not lie naked on this rug. But I did spill Scotch on it within the first fifteen minutes of my stay.   Media Room Designed by Dean Maltz for Hugo Boss Maltz wanted this room to feel as though it were bringing nature inside, which explains the unusual, outward-facing seating arrangement, the four-foot disk lights that float above the couches like clouds, and the art that looks like a tornado of water in the corner. It was nearly impossible to talk on these couches, which, I guess, did keep you focused on the view. So we just used this room to watch the last couple ALCS games on the floating projection screen, when talking didn&amp;#039;t seem so important.   Staircase Designed by Dean Maltz for Esquire Commissioned by Esquire, this staircase is made with custom-etched glass and steel imported from Italy. There&amp;#039;s a rumor that a version will be installed in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. (Although it&amp;#039;s one I may have started.)  Home Office Designed by Ildiko Sragli for Lufthansa Sragli wanted to do something dramatic to draw attention to the office, so she covered the walls and windows with composite paneling to make it look like the cabin of an airplane. The room is linked to an Intel-driven Niveus Media Center, so I could pull up stored movies or photos on a projection screen that doubles as a dry-erase board. Like John Madden, I found it nearly impossible to watch a football game without drawing all over the screen.   Master Bedroom Designed by Christopher Maya for Louis Vuitton  More than $100,000 worth of furniture and decoration went into this room, including a fully upholstered bed, pillows embroidered by a computer, bamboo-and-concrete nightstands, and a completely handwoven, seamless carpet. There was nothing better than opening the curtains in the morning and being reminded of the view. And there was nothing worse than trying to remake this bed after three nights of sleeping here. Every blanket or sheet just seemed to cover another blanket or sheet.  Lower Terrace Designed by Robin Wilson for Rockport If you can ever look away from the view, there&amp;#039;s a chair up here from the Bent Tree, a Missouri furniture company, that was made by training trees to grow in particular shapes. Some become the arms, others the back, and others form the base. Ours took three and a half years to grow and cost $1,000. There&amp;#039;s also a professional-grade putting green, but it&amp;#039;s maddeningly tough. I made one putt. All weekend.   Gym Designed by Kristen McGinnis for Asics This workout nook has a Japanese aesthetic, from the thirty-five-year-old bonsai tree to the handwoven tatami-inspired leather floor mat. Unfortunately, the woman normally stationed in here at parties to demonstrate the fancy gym equipment wasn&amp;#039;t included in my stay.  Upper Terrace Designed by Clodagh for Westin Hotels &amp;amp;amp; Resorts  The fireplace is stocked with wood, the mirrors double the view, and according to the designer, the amber lighting makes people look most attractive. On the last night, we brought up the faux-chinchilla blankets from the living room, lit a fire, and actually saw stars in New York City. Which almost made me feel as good as the fact that I&amp;#039;d made it through the weekend without breaking anything -- because the fog machine was like that when I got here. I swear. 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<http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/a4044/esquirenorth/>