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"For couples in a long-distance relationship, phone sex is an old standby. But going by personal experience and my friends&amp;#x27; stories, it can be tragically hilarious.Old Fashioned Lady says WOOT! Act I: In Which Both Parties Are Awkward. YOU How was your day at the office? HIM I work from home, actually. YOU Oh. HIM How&amp;#x27;s your dad? YOU I don&amp;#x27;t have a dad. Act II: In Which One Party Is Less Into It. YOU What are you doing now? HIM (boredly) I&amp;#x27;m touching my balls. YOU COOL TELL ME MORE ABOUT THAT!!! Act III: In Which One Party Is Inarticulate. HIM Tell me what to do. YOU You know. HIM Yeah, but like, tell me, isn&amp;#x27;t that the point? YOU You know, like, &amp;quot;jerk off&amp;quot; or whatever. HIM When you put it like that, it&amp;#x27;s really sexy. Act IV: In Which One Party Is Skeptical. YOU Are you actually like grocery shopping right now and you&amp;#x27;re just faking doing this? HIM Don&amp;#x27;t be dumb. YOU Yeah, you&amp;#x27;re right. [crack] HIM Sorry, I dropped the egg carton. YOU I knew you were grocery shopping! HIM OK, yes, but I&amp;#x27;m doing both simultaneously. To save time. Act V: In Which Everyone Wants to Get Off the Phone and Watch Downton Abbey. YOU Are you close? HIM (lying) Yeah, are you? YOU (lying) Yeah. OK, so maybe this isn&amp;#x27;t the exact scenario you might have expected, but it&amp;#x27;s certainly close to the truth. What have your phone sex experiences been like? Plus... *7 Ways to Feel More Comfortable (and Less Pervy) While Having Phone Sex *Weekend Sex Adventures: We Had Dreamy Phone Sex! *Reader&amp;#x27;s Dilemma: &amp;quot;My Boyfriend Wants To Have Phone Sex. Where Do I Start?&amp;quot; Photo: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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