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" Today&amp;#x27;s reader made a mistake, and we&amp;#x27;re not going to judge her because she admits it, she&amp;#x27;s making amends, and hey, we&amp;#x27;ve all made mistakes too. Instead, we&amp;#x27;re going to help her figure out how to move past it. She writes: I made a huge mistake and cheated on my boyfriend, and we had a dramatic breakup, but we&amp;#x27;ve since reconciled and are now stronger than ever. But he&amp;#x27;s still hiding us from his friends and family. I understand why they would not be quick to forgive. How long should I expect to wait, and how should I prepare to see them again? This is such a sticky situation, because of course I sympathize with your boyfriend and how difficult this situation must be to navigate for him, so I want to encourage you to be patient. On the other hand, you have owned up to your mistake and made amends, so you don&amp;amp;#8217;t deserve to be punished for the rest of eternity. First things first, the two of you need to address why he&amp;amp;#8217;s still hiding things from his loved ones. If it&amp;amp;#8217;s simply a matter of not knowing how to deal with them, you can work on that together. We&amp;amp;#8217;ll discuss that next. However, if he&amp;amp;#8217;s not telling them because he still feels unsure of your relationship or he doesn&amp;#x27;t really trust you again, you guys should probably get to that place before you try to make nice with his mom again. I don&amp;#x27;t think there&amp;#x27;s a right or wrong amount of time that should take; it just has to be what makes you both comfortable and secure. Now, assuming he just feels weird about telling people and is worried they won&amp;amp;#8217;t be supportive, well, of course he deserves some time and patience. But if you&amp;amp;#8217;re both really committed to making the relationship work again, he&amp;amp;#8217;s going to have to buck up and deal with it at some point sooner rather than later. I think this is your best game plan: Step 1: He tells his family and friends that he is back together with you, privately. You aren&amp;amp;#8217;t there, and he doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t report the full conversation back to you. Because honestly, they&amp;#x27;re probably going to say hurtful things if they know why you split before, and it&amp;#x27;s not going to be beneficial to you to hear all of their doubts and anger. Step 2: After his family and friends have had a little time to adjust to the idea, he brings you to an event. Hopefully something casual and low-key (rather than say, his sister&amp;amp;#8217;s wedding) so you can ease back in. Be prepared for awkward silences and weird looks. If anyone dares ask you any uncomfortable questions about the situation, you should be honest but you don&amp;#x27;t have to give details. You can say something like, &amp;quot; I love [Boyfriend] very much and we&amp;#x27;re working through some stuff, but this is a private matter between us.&amp;quot; Step 3: Be patient and persistent. Frankly, people might not warm right back up to you. Remember that they aren&amp;#x27;t holding back to be cruel to you; they just want the best for their friend/son/brother/etc. Sometimes, it&amp;#x27;s harder to forgive someone who hurt someone you love than it is to forgive someone who hurt you. So even if you&amp;#x27;d rather pluck out your own eyelashes than get one more dirty look from his roommate, keep showing up. Keep proving you love him and you won&amp;#x27;t make the same mistakes again. They&amp;#x27;ll come around once they believe it as much as the two of you do. For your boyfriend&amp;#x27;s part, he&amp;#x27;s going to have to step up to help ease the process too. If he truly forgives you, he needs to be willing to stand up for you and for your relationship to his friends and family. Yes, that might take some time. Yes, it might be difficult for you both. No one said this would be easy, but it is possible to get there. Best of luck! Has anyone out there ever been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? Could you ever forgive someone who cheated on someone you love? For other infidelity issues: *How Would Your Friends React If You Got Back Together With an Ex? *4 Things to Consider Before Taking a Cheater Back *Ask a Guy: &amp;amp;#8220;My Long-Term Boyfriend Cheated&amp;amp;#8212;Do I Take Him Back?&amp;amp;#8221; Photo: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2013/10/readers-dilemma-my-boyfriend-t>