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"  In 46 years of bachelorhood, Quentin Tarantino, the onetime video clerk who, back in the &amp;#039;90s with Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction, repatriated the word auteur from all those snooty European directors and created iconic film moments using F-bombs and kegs of fake blood, seems to have seen every film ever made and yet still carves out time to contribute oddly committed guest stints on American Idol. Tarantino\u2014who loves women so much he made Death Proof to showcase the work of a daredevil stuntwoman and, before that, Kill Bill, featuring an Uma Thurman adroit enough with her Hanzo sword to julienne evildoers into a human slaw\u2014is back with his long-gestating Nazi-squashing epic, Inglourious Basterds, starring Brad Pitt. He&amp;#039;s taught us what a Big Mac is called in France and how to clean brain spatter from the inside of a car. Now, not a moment too soon, Tarantino dissects the myth of the naughty librarian.   ELLE: If you could have a do-over of any event involving a woman, what would you retake?QUENTIN TARANTINO:  When I was around 30, I disrespected a girlfriend\u2014the love of the early part of my life\u2014with another woman. After we&amp;#039;d broken up, I still carried that shame, so with a Japanese sense of honor, I decided like a yakuza I was going to cut off my little finger. I wasn&amp;#039;t going to give her the finger; she&amp;#039;d think I was a nut. So I was getting myself drunk in preparation, and I called a friend, who gave me the best advice ever: &amp;quot;Quentin, you&amp;#039;ve done something you&amp;#039;re ashamed of, and it hurts really bad so you&amp;#039;re trying to turn it into something noble. Instead of cutting your finger off, why don&amp;#039;t you feel bad, and next time, just don&amp;#039;t do it!&amp;quot;  ELLE: If I told you that your life depended on marrying a famous woman, who would you choose?QT: Shotgun to my head? Famous woman? Uma. I don&amp;#039;t know what she&amp;#039;d think about that, but it&amp;#039;s my life that&amp;#039;s at stake in this question.   ELLE: What if your life depended on sleeping with a man?QT: Elvis Presley in his Jailhouse Rock years. And I&amp;#039;m going to be real gay for a second here and have a second one: David Cassidy, Partridge Family years.   ELLE: Could you fall in love with a woman who didn&amp;#039;t care for your movies?QT: No. My whole life is about my art. To reject me as an artist is to completely reject me.  ELLE: Do you think it&amp;#039;s absolutely necessary to want to have sex with your leading woman?QT: I don&amp;#039;t know if sex is the right word. If someone&amp;#039;s playing my character, I have to be in love with her to some degree. It&amp;#039;s not so much about lust, but I have to adore her.  ELLE: Any unconventionally hot women who turn you on?QT: To me, talent is sexy. So a girl\u2014as far as Hollywood or the public is concerned\u2014might be thought to have a weight problem, but if she&amp;#039;s talented and cool, that can be very, very sexy. I&amp;#039;ve seen movies where I&amp;#039;ve thought Kathy Bates was damned sexy. A gal I have a movie-star crush on because she&amp;#039;s so cool and talented: Catherine Keener.   ELLE: Having been a lifelong bachelor, are you able to tell how a woman will be in bed just by talking with her?QT: I know it&amp;#039;s supposedly the opposite in literature and sex magazines, but I&amp;#039;ve found that when women are a little repressed or self-conscious socially, that tends to reverberate all the way down.  ELLE: Really? You&amp;#039;re killing the whole naughty librarian trope?QT: Yeah. It&amp;#039;s a clich\u00E9 and a fantasy. If someone is inhibited in life, they tend to be inhibited in bed. If they have judgmental rules in life, they&amp;#039;ll have judgmental rules in bed.  ELLE: If I asked all the women you ever dated to agree on something about you, what would they say?QT: Probably that I&amp;#039;m sweet, and I mean well, but also that relationships with me are slightly problematic because I was an only child. I think people who grow up with brothers and sisters learn how to be alone while they&amp;#039;re with other people. I never learned how to do that. So I&amp;#039;m fully with people when I&amp;#039;m with them and giving to them until all of a sudden I can&amp;#039;t give anymore. An old girlfriend told me that there would be times when she could tell her very physical presence was oppressive to me.   ELLE: If you wrote Penthouse one of those I-never-thought-this-would-happen-to-me letters, what would it say?QT: I&amp;#039;ve had interesting experiences when I&amp;#039;ve been in a bar and I&amp;#039;ve picked up a gal and her friend, and we all went to my place together and had a good time.   ELLE: The m\u00E9nage \u00E0 trois: great or overrated?QT: I&amp;#039;ve had it spring up maybe three times. Once I was with my almost-girlfriend and her best friend. One Sunday, we were all at my house drinking vodka and Red Bulls, and the friend started talking about how she wished her boyfriend was freakier. Then, in the Jacuzzi she grabbed my hand in front of the other girl and put it [between her legs]. I immediately look over at my girlfriend and she seems to be okay with it. It was one of the greatest Sundays of my life.   ELLE:  One of the greatest? Were you able to get this configuration into a regular rotation?QT: No, it was just sort of a cool moment in time. But I do remember thinking, If this could be constant, I&amp;#039;d marry both of them and move them into the house. They can have half my shit. I&amp;#039;m down with it. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a10271/quentin-tarantino-335125/>