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" 1. Worst Camper  Stills from Tent, a video by Swiss performance and installation (and explosives) artist Roman Signer, as included in the new collection of his early work, Roman Signer, published by Phaidon Press.  2. Least Hopeful Paperboy  &amp;quot;I delivered papers in the evening and, as the year grew late, was often overtaken on my bicycle by darkness and by fear. I flung my rolled papers toward porches and stoops and onto lawns, and I was sometimes pursued by dogs, once taken down in an explosion of snow and bicycle wheels by a wolfish Irish setter. I had a recurrent fantasy of a muscular ostrich pursuing me in the dark and pecking down through my skull into my brain.&amp;quot;--From the short story &amp;quot;Ice,&amp;quot; included in Thomas McGuane&amp;#039;s new collection of short stories, Gallatin Canyon  3. Most Imposing Enemy  &amp;quot;Ronald Reagan came in and took down the solar panels off the White House roof that Jimmy had put up and essentially declared war on the sun.&amp;quot;--S. David Freeman, a Carter-administration energy advisor, in the documentary Who Killed the Electric Car?, an indictment of those who&amp;#039;ve quashed the promotion of alternative energy in the U. S.   4. Heaviest Textbook  &amp;quot;Open your science books to page 15, Galileo&amp;#039;s Letters to the Corinthians, chapter 3, verse 16. `And when the demon did give me the telescope, I was so afraid, for the lights of heaven were beyond my knowing.&amp;#039; &amp;quot;--Stephen Colbert as teacher Chuck Noblet in Strangers with Candy, the film version of the Comedy Central series  5. Best Reasons to Immediately Break Up with a Waitress  &amp;quot;You soaked yourself in gasoline, / And you downed a vial of Benzedrine . . . / You pawned my box at the Hy&amp;#039;s loan store, / You&amp;#039;re a waitress, not a two-bit whore.&amp;quot; --Lyrics from &amp;quot;Frying Pan Eyes,&amp;quot; from the album Another Fine Day, the first offering in eight years from roots-rock supergroup Golden Smog, which includes members of the Jayhawks, Wilco, and Soul Asylum   6. Smokingest Women  A 1950s pinup ashtray that advertises a motel, and a book of figural matches, two of the hundreds of odd collectibles included in Marilynn Gelfman Karp&amp;#039;s engrossing coffee-table book In Flagrante Collecto, published by Abrams. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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