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" \n In their new book Loaded!, Morning Joe co-host Willie Geist and longtime collaborator Boyd McDonnell teach such important money lessons as The 5 Cs of Credit (Cancun, Convertibles, Cognac, Chinchilla Coats, Cuticles). OK, so it&amp;#039;s not exactly brilliant advice. In fact, it&amp;#039;s terrible. But that&amp;#039;s exactly what it&amp;#039;s meant to be: a book of tips so crazy and misguided that it&amp;#039;ll make you laugh out loud (or at least snort audibly). We got a huge kick out of Loaded so we asked the authors to come up with money-making ideas specifically designed for the Cosmo woman. Behold, five gems you sure as hell won&amp;#039;t read anywhere else. (Note: sarcasm required of all readers.) Be hot. This one speaks for itself. If you&amp;#039;re hot, you&amp;#039;ll end up either a rich actress/supermodel (Brooklyn Decker/Donna D&amp;#039;Errico), arm candy for a rich dude (our buddy from Fort Walton Beach&amp;#039;s smokin&amp;#039; mom Cindy), or both (Melania Trump). All the female empowerment, marches on Washington, and glass-ceiling breaking in the world won&amp;#039;t beat a dame with high cheekbones and a nice pair of stems. That&amp;#039;s just a fact. Hire a nanny. True or false: People who have nannies are usually rich, and socialize with other rich people? True. True or false: Nannies provide you with extra time to focus on activities that make you more attractive like tennis lessons, hair appointments, boob jobs, etc.? True. It&amp;#039;s a classic case of one thing leading to another. Don&amp;#039;t have kids? Doesn&amp;#039;t matter. Hire a nanny anyway and watch your bank account begin to grow. Commit a misdemeanor. A petty crime lets everyone know you write your own rules to some extent, but also shows that you&amp;#039;re not the kind of nut who&amp;#039;s going to throw it all away with a felony. We&amp;#039;re not telling you to sell organs on the black market (though yes, that can be lucrative). Start small, with some simple shoplifting. Get busted stealing a designer purse or an expensive necklace. Or let the cops pinch you with a small amount of recreational narcotics. Call TMZ, then initiate a catfight over Brody Jenner at a Hollywood hotspot. Yes, you&amp;#039;ll do a little time, but your newfound fame will bring in the Benjamins faster than you can count &amp;#039;em. Hire a paparazzo. Give Gary, the sketchy guy who works the graveyard shift at the nearby 7-11, $10 an hour to follow you around in public and snap photos of you. Hey! There you are getting a coffee. And, look! You&amp;#039;re walking on the sidewalk after you got the coffee! Wait, wait! You&amp;#039;re buying some arugula, just like us! All the while, Gary is firing away on his Kodak Disc camera and everyone around you is wondering, &amp;quot;Hey, is that one of the Real Housewives of Santa Fe?!&amp;quot; Mission accomplished. Make a sex tape. Vast empires have been built on the shoulders of &amp;quot;accidentally leaked,&amp;quot; grainy sex tapes. Wanna run with the big dogs? Let the VHS camcorder roll. Willie Geist and Boyd McDonnell are the authors (along with the Dollar Bills) of Loaded! Become a Millionaire Overnight and Lose 20 Pounds in 2 Weeks, or Your Money Back, published by St. Martin&amp;#039;s Press. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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