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" He&amp;#039;s amazing. And the relationship could easily have the background score of a Meg Ryan heart-tugging romance flick. So how come you and your man aren&amp;#039;t setting the bed ablaze? It&amp;#039;s not that he lacks sack skills or you two aren&amp;#039;t destined to be a duo. More likely, you&amp;#039;re slacking on the time and effort it takes to create true carnal chemistry. &amp;quot;Most couples assume that if they click romantically, they should instantly click in the bedroom, too,&amp;quot; says Peter Kanaris, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Smithtown, New York. &amp;quot;But it takes practice to get in sync with each other.&amp;quot; Read on for the four obstacles that may be plaguing you and your guy, plus simple solutions so you can burn up the bedsprings.  You Suffer from New-Couple-ness &amp;quot;When my current guy and I first got naked, I assumed I&amp;#039;d wow him with all the tricks that thrilled my ex,&amp;quot; recalls Jessica, 22.* &amp;quot;But he wasn&amp;#039;t revved by my trusty repertoire -- if I stroked one spot, he&amp;#039;d ask me to inch over a bit or press harder. We&amp;#039;re still trying to smooth things out.&amp;quot;   Why are things fizzling -- not sizzling -- between Jessica and her man? Call it force-fed passion. &amp;quot;A lot of new twosomes want so badly to connect during sex that they try too hard to impress each other, relying on maneuvers that worked on a past partner or something they picked up watching a movie,&amp;quot; says Kanaris.   In-sync solution: Instead of choreographing your caresses, let the natural sexual tension build slowly. &amp;quot;Tell him you want to just fool around and simply explore each other&amp;#039;s bodies with no goal in mind,&amp;quot; suggests Yvonne K. Fulbright, author of The Hot Guide to Safer Sex. Once you discover what turns you both on, use those moves as a starting point for more sensual, spontaneous, effortless sex.   *Names have been changed.  His Erotic Efforts Leave You Longing  The fact that your dude didn&amp;#039;t bring you to orgasm when you first started doing the deed was no biggie. You figured you&amp;#039;d show him how once you grew more comfortable with each other. But it&amp;#039;s a few months down the road, and it feels a little late to launch a sex lesson.   In-sync solution: Just because you did not say anything sooner doesn&amp;#039;t mean your sexual fate is sealed. Take his hand and place it south of your border, then demonstrate the speed and pressure you like best. &amp;quot;Encourage him with feedback like &amp;#039;That feels sooo good,&amp;#039; so he&amp;#039;ll know what to do on his own next time,&amp;quot; says Kanaris. Ask him for pointers on how you can increase his pleasure. &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;ll realize it&amp;#039;s okay to ask you the same thing, and he won&amp;#039;t be caught off guard with criticism,&amp;quot; says Fulbright.   If he still hasn&amp;#039;t tweaked his technique, broach the topic more frankly. To come clean without bruising his ego, commend him on what he&amp;#039;s doing that steams you up, then subtly suggest how he can make the same move even hotter.  Your Sack Styles Differ  Despite your intense animal attraction to each other, you can&amp;#039;t seem to mesh your man&amp;#039;s fast-and-frenzied bed tempo with your slow, steady groove. &amp;quot;When you have different natural rhythms, sex can feel like you&amp;#039;re dancing off-beat,&amp;quot; says Kanaris. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s not as if you and your partner don&amp;#039;t know the moves; it&amp;#039;s just that you&amp;#039;re doing them out of step, without a shared motion.&amp;quot;   In-sync solution: Like lousy dancing, so-so sex often happens when two people are trying to lead at the same time. So offer to acquiesce by telling your guy you want him to set the pace that night and then giving his way a try, suggests Kanaris. The next night, tell him you&amp;#039;re in charge and you&amp;#039;d like him to follow you. Soon, you&amp;#039;ll both be more comfortable with each other&amp;#039;s style. This is how Jenna, 24, fixed her frustrating sex life. &amp;quot;My guy insisted on doing this quick wiggle during the deed, while I&amp;#039;d try to get him to thrust deeper,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;One night, I was too tired to fight it, but after a few minutes, I realized his light moves were the perfect warm-up for the in-and-out thrusting I craved.&amp;quot; Now, she and her man work in both types of action -- one as foreplay, the other as the main event.   And if that doesn&amp;#039;t work, turn on the CD player. Popping in a tune you both dig will establish a beat to which you can knock boots, subtly synchronizing your sex tempo.  Your Bodies Don&amp;#039;t Meld  Whether your down-south dimensions seem like two puzzle pieces that don&amp;#039;t fit or your man&amp;#039;s NBA-like height or NFL-like brawn prevents his pelvis from lining up anywhere near yours, physical differences can leave you both feeling clumsy under the covers.   In-sync solution: &amp;quot;No size discrepancy is so colossal that you and your man won&amp;#039;t be able to get over it and have a perfectly satisfying sex life,&amp;quot; assures Michael Milburn, Ph.D., coauthor of Sexual Intelligence. First, if your guy has an extralarge member, make sure you warm up with plenty of foreplay before intercourse. The more aroused you are, the easier it&amp;#039;ll be to accommodate your passion bits &amp;#039;n&amp;#039; pieces. (You can supplement your natural lubrication with the store-bought stuff.) Then experiment with different positions, discovering the poses that best work with your bodies. Mega-member positions include missionary with a pillow under your butt and doggie-style with your legs spread, both of which create more room. And what if he&amp;#039;s much taller or bigger than you? Sample woman on top. &amp;quot;This way none of his weight rests on your body,&amp;quot; says Milburn. Also try spooning, which lets him line up his parts with yours without fear of flattening you like a pancake.  How Often Do You Do It?   Think every other couple is having mattress marathons all the time? Actually, the average 20-something gets busy only about seven times per month. No word on whether the sex is so-so or spectacular.   Source: The Social Organization of Sexuality  When All You Have Is Sex   Signs your bond barely extends beyond the bed:  You haven&amp;#039;t been able to walk normally in three months. He answers only when you call him Cowboy. You&amp;#039;re both often at a loss for words over dinner, but you never seem to have a problem lunging for each other&amp;#039;s privates underneath the table. He knows every freckle and pubic hair on your bod intimately, but he still hasn&amp;#039;t met your friends...not that you really want him to. You don&amp;#039;t recognize him with pants on. You&amp;#039;ve signed up for the Pregnancy-Kit-of-the-Month Club. You&amp;#039;ve never disagreed over anything (largely because you don&amp;#039;t speak). You realized only a week ago that he&amp;#039;s from Latvia, wherever the heck that is. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a1596/everything-great-but-sex/>