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"A couple weeks ago, I was having a beer (fine, it was an earl grey martini) with my friend Natalie who a few months ago, broke things off with her fiance. Natalie was excited because after the requisite months of mourning, crying, etc., she had started dating again, had kissed a few boys and was getting ready for the main event&amp;amp;#8212;for the first time in years, she was going to sleep with a guy who wasn&amp;amp;#8217;t her ex. She was all giggles and jokes, but also quite nervous. I understood, as much fun as it is to learn a new body, hear all new sounds, and create some new harmonies, it&amp;amp;#8217;s a little terrifying for guys as well. Here are five things running through our minds before the big launch (this would be the night of, when things are getting going): 1. Can she see my boner? Both literally and figuratively, this is a worry. Sex is never a sure thing, and we&amp;amp;#8217;re constantly fretting that our aggressiveness or eagerness will be a turn-off. I&amp;amp;#8217;m not for playing games, but there&amp;amp;#8217;s a part of me that wants her to think I&amp;amp;#8217;m only so into it until game time. I want her thinking &amp;amp;#8220;Is he going to kiss me?&amp;amp;#8221; 2. Do I want to sleep over? / Do I want her to sleep over? There&amp;amp;#8217;s a bigger question here: Do I really like her? Sleepovers can be complicated. They tend to mean more than sex, because there is the next morning to contend with. But the night before, she&amp;amp;#8217;s back at my place, we&amp;amp;#8217;re having cocktails, there&amp;amp;#8217;s touching; seems hardly the right for a &amp;amp;#8220;where do we stand,&amp;amp;#8221; chat. Then again, when is? 3. I hope I don&amp;amp;#8217;t embarrass myself taking off her bra. I swear I&amp;amp;#8217;ve done this before&amp;amp;#133;..oy. Even when she laughs and snaps it off with the flick of a thumb and forefinger, for the few seconds before, we feel like total losers. It&amp;amp;#8217;s a vibe killer when we fail at the bra clasp. A mild one. But a vibe killer nonetheless. And we know it. 4. Can she see my boner? (part 2) This is a size issue. Am I so small that she can&amp;amp;#8217;t even see it? Am I so big that it&amp;amp;#8217;s all she can see and it is scaring her? In all honesty, I&amp;amp;#8217;ve been on both sides of this Goldilocks equation (though not to either extreme) but not often. It&amp;amp;#8217;s all relative, and only matters so much. Ultimately, this question doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t really bother me, for the following reason: I figure she wants to be with the guy who moves and acts like that kind of thing has never occurred to him. 5. Oh My God. I Get To See Her Naked. All those things that you&amp;amp;#8217;re worrying about are wasted thoughts. We&amp;amp;#8217;re excited. Trust me. So now you have some insight into what&amp;#x27;s going on in our testosterone-filled brains when we&amp;#x27;re working towards the main event. After the bell has rung, there&amp;#x27;s a whole other set of thoughts. What are you thinking about before the first time? More on Sex at Glamour.com I Love When My Partner Does This 15 Percent of People Admit to Getting Busy&amp;amp;#133;While Driving! Health Trivia: Yes, There Is Such a Thing as a Dumbbell for Your Vagina More Ways to Get Glamour Visit Shopglamour.com for cute stuff starting at just $10! Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! Follow us on Twitter! Add us to your iGoogle homepage. Photo: Thinkstock "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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