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"Derping hard and derping fast.I guess it could always be worse.There should be PSAs for when dates turn into industrial accidents of your own making. This happened to someone Monday night. My friend. Definitely not me. 1. Drink too much due to nervousness, likely the cause of #2-10. 2. Accuse your date of misogyny because he likes a certain novelist. 3. Pry into your date&amp;#x27;s previous relationships. 4. When unable to articulate yourself, exclaim passionately: &amp;quot;I just have feelings!&amp;quot; Multiple times. 5. Talk about yourself too much. 6. Do the only thing you can think of to stop yourself from doing #1-5, which is making out with your date in public. 7. Leave the bar and realize you accidentally left your iPhone at the bar. 8. Right before parting ways, when your date does not ask for your number, foist it upon him. 9. Realize you are foisting it upon him and nervously walk backward down 14th Street away from your date, saying &amp;quot;But if you don&amp;#x27;t want it, that&amp;#x27;s OK, totally OK, I&amp;#x27;m OK!&amp;quot; While literally walking backward, becoming a weird hag before his horrified eyes. A hag from the very depths of the sea. 10. Derp away into the horizon. 11. Hope he asks you out again anyway because it was fun. What do you think of my friend&amp;#x27;s regrettable decisions? Do you think my friend&amp;#x27;s date will read this? He was nice and cute had interesting things to say about Breaking Bad, and she was hungover almost all day yesterday and very much regrets her conduct. Epic dating fails: *Dating Fail: I Dare Someone To Top This Hot Mess Of A Story *Epic Dating Fail: How I Singlehandedly Ruined The Perfect Valentine&amp;#x27;s Day *Are You His Girlfriend? 10 Signs You&amp;#x27;re So Not Photo: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2012/03/12-easy-ways-to-mess-up-a-date>