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"I&amp;#x27;ve been dating this guy for a year and a half. He is in the military, currently stationed in Japan. We&amp;#x27;d been seriously talking about getting married and had even gone to look at rings. He&amp;amp;#8217;s been overseas for three months now, and all of sudden he went from wanting to get married to being scared of marriage and telling me it was just too difficult to have a girlfriend while he was over there--that he barely had time for himself let alone time to think about anybody else. It wasn&amp;#x27;t that he didn&amp;#x27;t love me or care for me, the distance was just too much. He said he&amp;amp;#8217;d be open to getting back together when he&amp;#x27;s done, which is about a year a half from now. Can someone please explain to me why he is acting this way? My friend Martini and I have a joke whenever the subject of condoms comes up, &amp;amp;#8220;Condoms!! Those are for sailors,&amp;amp;#8221; we like to say. It&amp;amp;#8217;s not a wholly appropriate joke but the irony lies in the fact that everyone should wear condoms, not just traveling military men, who can get up to all kinds of shenanigans when they&amp;amp;#8217;re in another port. Now, there&amp;#x27;s no reason to believe that your guy has discovered the land of the rising sun in someone else&amp;amp;#8217;s pants, but there&amp;amp;#8217;s a lot that can happen a world away, much of it that you will have no control over. The only person who can tell you why he&amp;#x27;s acting this way is him. There are a million different reasons, including him just not being ready for a long-distance relationship (sounds like that&amp;amp;#8217;s what he&amp;amp;#8217;s saying), but don&amp;amp;#8217;t waste your time speculating over what those might be. As you know from the past year and a half, a lot can happen in 18 months. Sure he&amp;#x27;ll be open to a relationship continuing then....it&amp;#x27;s far enough in the future he doesn&amp;#x27;t have to make any real commitments. One of the problems with long distance is that the lines of communications tend to get stretched, if not entirely broken. If he&amp;#x27;s suddenly gone from hot to cold and was seriously thinking about marrying you before, there&amp;#x27;s got to be a reason--and he owes you an explanation. An honest one. If he&amp;#x27;s not going to give that to you, then you don&amp;#x27;t want to be with him anyhow. What you don&amp;#x27;t want to do is end up waiting for 18 months to find out that it&amp;#x27;s not going to happen. If he really doesn&amp;#x27;t want a girlfriend, nothing you do is going to change that, so it&amp;#x27;s time to move on. If he is a guy like most guys I know, as soon as you sever the ties, he&amp;#x27;ll try to reconnect them. Why do you think this guy pulled a sudden 180? Has a guy ever done the same to you? Or have you ever done something similar to a guy? More on glamour.com 10 Things He&amp;#x27;s Thinking Before He Proposes 12 Things to do After Your&amp;#x27;re Engaged Why It&amp;#x27;s Good to be The Last Single Girl Standing More Ways to Get Glamour You could win $50,000 just for registering or logging in to Glamour.com! Sign up for Glamour.com&amp;#x27;s Style Tips of the Week and Beauty Tip of the Day newsletters! Add Glamour to your iGoogle homepage. Follow Glamour on Twitter. Photo: Jupiter Images; model is used for illustrative purposes only"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/single-ish/2010/03/single-john-responds-my-fiance>