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"There&amp;#039;s no right way for married couples to manage their money. But there are plenty of wrong ways. &amp;quot;Financial issues are the primary reason for 90 percent of divorce cases I handle,&amp;quot; says John Thyden, a prominent Washington, D.C., divorce attorney. &amp;quot;But it isn&amp;#039;t necessarily the amount of money a couple has that tends to trip them up. It&amp;#039;s the differences in their spending habits and especially their lack of communication.&amp;quot; However, as demonstrated by the three couples profiled here, husbands and wives with differing financial habits and attitudes can make things work \u2014 if they&amp;#039;re willing to be honest with each other and to bend a bit. &amp;quot;We definitely have our share of conflicts over finances,&amp;quot; confesses Michelle Maidenberg. &amp;quot;But we deal with them in a respectful way.&amp;quot; Each of the pairs has found smart solutions to overcome their money issues. Their clever techniques may work for you, too.  The Maidenbergs  Picking their battles: Michelle, 37, a psychotherapist, spends money much more readily than her husband, Eric, 38, a banker. Case in point: a planned addition and renovations to the New Rochelle, NY, home that they share with their three young sons, 7, 4, and 2.  For a year, Michelle has urged Eric to agree on taking step one: hiring an architect to sketch the plans, at a cost of $30,000. But Eric, a self-described &amp;quot;calculated decision maker,&amp;quot; refuses to commit a cent until he learns the amount of his annual bonus: &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m not willing to say yes until we know we&amp;#039;ll have the money to do the work.&amp;quot;  That&amp;#039;s an impasse that could&amp;#039;ve led to fighting \u2014 but in the Maidenbergs&amp;#039; case, it didn&amp;#039;t. Even though she and her husband are on different timetables, Michelle is confident the project will get done, so she&amp;#039;s willing to postpone until Eric is more comfortable. That kind of ebb-and-flow approach has worked well for them. Says Michelle: &amp;quot;If I sense Eric will give in when he feels more comfortable about the cost, I don&amp;#039;t argue; I just wait him out.&amp;quot;  In other situations, she compromises to get her way \u2014 as in a skirmish, during her most recent pregnancy, at a maternity-clothing store. &amp;quot;In my first trimester, I really needed some items to help me transition from regular things to pregnancy clothes. When we got to the cashier, the total was several hundred dollars and I could tell Eric was annoyed (partly at the price, and partly because it had taken me over an hour to find things I liked). So I suggested the clothes be his birthday present to me. Basically, I traded a future gift for clothes I felt I needed \u2014 and it worked! He paid with a smile and even gave me a kiss, saying, &amp;#039;Happy birthday!&amp;#039; And I never heard about it afterward.&amp;quot;  The Maidenbergs say if you&amp;#039;re half of a couple where well-intentioned caution can slow money decisions to a crawl, the secret is sensitivity. &amp;quot;If there&amp;#039;s something I want, I speak Eric&amp;#039;s language,&amp;quot; says Michelle. &amp;quot;That means using logic and pointing out the costs and benefits, so he sees that a purchase does make sense for us.&amp;quot;  The Charests Learning to complement each other: Many couples have a spender and a saver. But Bob and Cindy Charest of Westbrook, ME, are partners in a band, and blend approaches into one harmonious style.  Their money partnership goes like this: A penny-pincher who loves to splurge (Cindy) is married to a free spender with a knack for saving on large expenses and keeping finances on track (Bob). Says Cindy: &amp;quot;I save first, then spend; Bob spends first, then saves.&amp;quot;  Cindy, 52, known to friends as &amp;quot;Save-a-Buck Cin,&amp;quot; comes by the nickname honestly: &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m constantly turning lights off around the house.&amp;quot; But piling up the pennies doesn&amp;#039;t preclude a love for extravagances, like a recent European trip with children Leigh, 18, and Mark, 15.  Bob, 55, tends to spend small and often. And while he&amp;#039;d probably ignore the penny on the street, Bob is cautious about serious outlays. Example: A boiler company estimated it would cost $3,000 to repair their furnace. Bob grabbed a wrench, researched the job, and did it himself for a sliver of the estimate.  The formula generally works because the Charests know it can. So Bob and Cindy defer to each other&amp;#039;s money strengths. Bob knows Cindy&amp;#039;s thriftiness helps make the family&amp;#039;s blowouts possible. Cindy applauds Bob&amp;#039;s eye for the larger financial picture: &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m a horrible money manager, so I willingly delegate that job to Bob,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;If I were paying the bills, we&amp;#039;d be in jail.&amp;quot;  The Geigers Letting the best money manager manage the money: Before Jan Dahlin Geiger and her husband, Jerry, of Atlanta got married 15 years ago \u2014 each for the second time \u2014 they were financial opposites. Jan Dahlin, 58, a financial planner, was debt averse. &amp;quot;I was saving 10 percent for retirement and my kids&amp;#039; college fund and did not have a cent of debt, other than a $50,000 mortgage,&amp;quot; she says. By his own admission, Jerry, 66, a sales executive, earned a lot and spent a lot. With his shiny cars, a divorce that cost him six figures, and more than $10,000 in credit card and other debt, he was deep in the red. &amp;quot;It was an addiction,&amp;quot; he says. &amp;quot;I got into the habit of spending whatever I had. I had to borrow money, because I was spending in anticipation of making it.&amp;quot; Jan Dahlin sums it up: &amp;quot;He spent money like a wild man.&amp;quot; And she was horrified. Through her work, Jan Dahlin had seen many people&amp;#039;s lives ruined by financial recklessness. &amp;quot;My first response was, &amp;#039;I can&amp;#039;t marry him,&amp;#039;&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;I told him if he wanted to marry me, we needed to make hard choices.&amp;quot; Realizing he had to either change or remain single, Jerry sat down and discussed finances with Jan Dahlin. Then he agreed to a comprehensive money overhaul, including:  Paying down his debts: Some $110,000 in loans and credit card interest was erased in two years. Not keeping up with the Joneses: The Geigers agreed to buy a $200,000 home rather than the half-million-dollar one Jerry craved. Other trade-downs: Gone are the BMWs and Cadillacs. Now he tools around in a used Dodge minivan. Monthly reviews: To track their financial progress.   Jerry concedes that changing his ways wasn&amp;#039;t easy: &amp;quot;It was like shock treatment. I remember how I struggled to come to terms with the less expensive house.&amp;quot; But when he retires at 67, &amp;quot;we&amp;#039;ll be able to take an awesome vacation every month if we want to,&amp;quot; says Jan Dahlin. &amp;quot;I can honestly say we have had few fights over money. And our net worth today is about 1,000 percent of what it was 15 years ago.&amp;quot; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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