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"  It is March 2nd, 2009. 1:41 AM. I sitting on my bed, swollen eyed, heartbroken, in my tiny and quite messy dorm room. I sit here at now, 1:43 AM, listening to the CD that Grandpa gave me, longing for a two hand hard hug and a pickle, some boy advice from Grandma, the high pitched noise of Jamie saying &amp;quot;Tisttterrrr&amp;quot;, a corny joke from Dad and &amp;quot;Da mommy loves you&amp;quot;. But here I am. 1:44 AM. Alone. With thoughts of all those things bringing a faint smile to my red and swollen face. Break ups are never fun, and in college it only gets harder since you are so far away from the people that will always be there no matter what. Whether it was you doing the breaking up, him, or a mutual agreement, it sucks. I&amp;#039;m not really sure what category mine is in. I started it with a &amp;quot;If you are going to treat me like this I&amp;#039;m done&amp;quot; and then him adding &amp;quot;I think we need a break anyway&amp;quot;. So I&amp;#039;m just going to make myself feel better and say that I did it. I seem to be notorious for finding really good guys, which probably makes this even harder, since there is a significant time gap between break ups. This one is different though. I didn&amp;#039;t lose a boyfriend, I lost my best friend. Time Dawn, Time. This could last a few hours or forever. For now, I am going to accept the heartbreak, move on. So here I am once again... And If I&amp;#039;m Flying Solo, At least I&amp;#039;m Flying Free I spent the day crying my eyes out. I need to do it while I can, since I am only allowing myself 3 days to cry over this. I made a new years resolution to myself, and even if it hurts im going to follow it. I will allow a boy to make me happy, but I will NOT let a boy determine my happiness. So for now I will just breathe, listen to Papas blue grass and enjoy my &amp;quot;30 Day Heartbreak Cure&amp;quot; book that Jenna lent me. I have taken the first step at 1:54 AM, by shutting off the Skype call with Randy that I sleep next to every night. I need to do this, for me. I have a lot to focus on right now. School (Calculus test tomorrow, ugh), cheer tryouts, etc. If he decides he doesn&amp;#039;t want me back then so be it. Ill make him regret it. So now at 1:56 AM. I am going to do something productive instead of laying in my bed, wide awake, giving myself opportunity to cry my heart out. Maybe I&amp;#039;ll start with the cleaning. It&amp;#039;s a new start right? Might as well hit the ground running with a clean room. Welcome to the beginning of the end of my heartbreak. &amp;quot;Today I love and respect myself enough to begin the process of healing. For the next thirty days I commit myself to learning and growing and remembering how to celebrate my ability to move ahead even stronger and better than I was before. In the meantime, I&amp;#039;ll be grateful for every tear I cry, because every tear is my grief leaving my spirit, to be replaced with love, joy, and the grace of inner peace.&amp;quot;  - The 30 day Heartbreak Cure "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.seventeen.com/love/a3904/dawn-breakup/>