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"FacebookPinterestundefined\n\nYou&amp;amp;#x2019;re invited! Click to enlarge.\n\nGreetings, citizens of our powerful and pulchritudinous country before which other nations quake in fear and submissiveness like prison-grade gelatin dessert food! Tonight we present a contest of basket-ball, the favored game of the glorious and infallible Kim Jong-un, featuring his best friend, athletic ambassador Dennis Rodman, and a roster of other former players from the United States Basket-ball League, who have significant height and musculature but otherwise lack the discipline and knowledge of the sport&amp;amp;#x2019;s fundamentals of our superior North Korean players. The game will serve as a case study of how, despite its wealth, the United States produces lazy, selfish athletes who would best be assigned to the squadron of the lowly Knickerbockers of Manhattan.\n\nAnd here is the ceremonial elevation of the basket-ball at the court&amp;amp;#x2019;s midway point, under which two giants leap while inwardly lamenting the poor mathematical abilities of their country&amp;amp;#x2019;s schoolchildren! The athletic contest has commenced as the game timer begins diminishing to zero, reminding Americans of their mortality while Kim Jong-un lives on in eternity!\n\nThe basket-ball is tossed from one non-Dennis-Rodman American in a white jersey to another. The other American &amp;amp;#x201C;shoots,&amp;amp;#x201D; which does not mean the Americans&amp;amp;#x2019; penchant for shooting themselves with firearms to resolve traffic disputes, but to aim the basket-ball into the circular iron object laced with fish-netting in front of the rectangle. The basket-ball arcs through the air and lands inside the circular iron object and passes through the fish-netting! Points are assigned to their squadron!\n\nA player from the team with the blue jerseys bounces the basket-ball on the floor in rapid fashion as he progresses up the court\u2014but! A penalty is called upon a player for a &amp;amp;#x201C;three-second violation,&amp;amp;#x201D; also the length of time puny American men can sustain intercourse before they ejaculate in shame.\n\nSimilar events continue happening that are not worthy of our verbal or visual examination. We will replace the basket-ball contest until the midpoint of the game with stunning images of North Korea&amp;amp;#x2019;s mountains and females.\n\nWe are back with the midpoint ceremony, featuring popular American musicians Oates and Hall. Failure to satisfy Dear Leader&amp;amp;#x2019;s expectations will result in the public ecution of Oates at the hands of Hall.\n\nThe remainder of the game now commences, following the ecution of Oates, as Dear Leader will ride on the back of Dennis Rodman and &amp;amp;#x201C;dunk-slam&amp;amp;#x201D; the basket-ball through the circular iron object, a feat he is able to do independently with his leaping wizardry, but he magnanimously permits Dennis Rodman to maintain the delusion that he is responsible.\n\nThe &amp;amp;#x201C;dunk-slam&amp;amp;#x201D; is achieved! Four hundred points are awarded to Dear Leader! He defeats both squadrons and reminds America of the inferiority of its athletes, politicians, soldiers, morning-news personalities, and concubines!\n\nWe now return to the regularly scheduled programming of the new American comedic-situation television show, Three&amp;amp;#x2019;s Company, which recounts the adventures of a man who cohabitates with two females as they have misunderstandings because, like all Americans, they are imbecilic.\n\nTeddy Wayne is the author of the novels The Love Song of Jonny Valentine and Kapitoil."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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