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"    How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; Photo: Everett   Contrary to every dating guide published and my mother&amp;#039;s oft-delivered advice, if women want to be good first dates, a new study argues, they should talk about themselves. A lot. Stanford sociologist Daniel McFarland, the author of a recent report in the American Journal of Sociology, says he decided to research &amp;quot;best practices&amp;quot; for dating because of the reams of conflicting information on the subject. &amp;quot;We knew there are tons of self-help books on how to date and how people match,&amp;quot; he says. &amp;quot;Some people say women should be silent; the men should be in control. Or you should tease and play games. It doesn&amp;#039;t seem there is a clear consensus on how to behave.&amp;quot;    To measure the matter, McFarland, with his colleague, linguist Dan Jurafsky, set up Stanford graduate students on speed dates and asked them to fill out a scorecard after each encounter indicating whether they&amp;#039;d go on a second date. The researchers then analyzed 1,100 transcripts of these quickie encounters, searching for words, phrases, and conversation patterns that caused men and women to &amp;quot;click.&amp;quot;  Among their major findings was that women feel disconnected when they have to pepper men with questions or when men ask them questions. In fact, the two scholars argue, an intense line of questioning signals a date gone sour. &amp;quot;I loved that they documented this! As soon as I read it, I knew that was true,&amp;quot; gushes anthropologist and Match.com advisor Helen Fisher, PhD. &amp;quot;I call this PGO: a penetrating glimpse of the obvious. On some level we&amp;#039;ve always known you ask questions when the conversation is lagging and the boat is sinking.&amp;quot; So how to get to that second date? Both women and men feel a spark when the woman is the focal point of the conversation. Especially surprising, women weren&amp;#039;t turned off when men interrupted them. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s often considered a sign of domination,&amp;quot; Jurfasky says. &amp;quot;But women interrupt each other all the time when they&amp;#039;re just talking to friends. When men interrupt women, they&amp;#039;re completing sentences, supporting the thoughts of the other person. It was more like a conversation among females. They are telling the story together.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;If he plays his role, both parties want to see each other again. This has to do in great part that women are more selective about who they are willing to go out with. Men tend to be less so, at least, initially.&amp;quot; The upshot of the study, Fisher says, is that it&amp;#039;s men who have to make the effort, which from the Darwin perspective makes a great deal of sense. &amp;quot;Women are the custodians of the egg,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;You know, you got to please her in order to cash your DNA.&amp;quot; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.elle.com/culture/news/a23228/speed-dating-study/>