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"FacebookPinterest\n\n Every Friday, our fearless cultural critics, armed with nothing but smartphones and hangovers, report live via email from an A.M. screening of what we believe will be the most horrible thing Hollywood has foisted on an unexpecting and undeserving American populace. It\u2019s like you\u2019re right there suffering with them. Except you\u2019re not.\n\nThis week: Raha Naddaf and Kevin &amp;quot;The Monger&amp;quot; Sintumuang suffer through Repo Men, starring Jude Law\u2019s bald spot, a lot of slimy organs, and zero Hot Tub Time Machines.&amp;amp;#xE2;&amp;amp;#xBF;&amp;amp;#xBF;\n\nKevin Sintumuang: We\u2019re taking the Hot Tub Time Machine to do last week\u2019s WMEOTW, Repo Men. Also. Health care reform hasn\u2019t passed yet so I hope I don\u2019t develop a pre-existing condition from this grody theater seat.\n\n Raha Naddaf: And right now I\u2019m wondering if red haired chick will be booted from idol. I guess I\u2019ll find out tonight!\n\nSintumuang: Raha, I\u2019m coming into this thinking that Jude Law is a good actor. I wonder how I\u2019ll feel walking out.\n\n Naddaf: Um, incredibly-graphic scene of Jude Law removing someone\u2019s liver while he\u2019s still alive. Or is he dead? Doesn\u2019t really matter, point is, so far I think this movie is awesome.\n\n Sintumuang: Montage sequence of Jude Law repoing organs included one where he kicked down a bathroom door with a girl on the can. Cold-blooded.\n\n Naddaf: Liev Schreiber and Forest Whitaker. Dare I say this movie has potential?\n\n [\n\n](http://blog.gq.com/blogs/the-q/Repo-Men.jpg)\n\n Sintumuang: One would think... but so far, I\u2019m bored. Haven\u2019t directors learned from Blade Runner: The Director\u2019s Cut that voiceovers don\u2019t work in the dystopian future?\n\n Sintumuang: Jude Law just said, &amp;quot;pay up or your organ\u2019s mine.&amp;quot; That\u2019s what she said!\n\n Naddaf: Wait, where does this movie take place? Tokyo? The US?\n\n Sintumuang: Future? Present? Past? I can\u2019t figure it out. There\u2019s high-tech organs, typewriters, smart cars. Pick a year already!\n\n Naddaf: So apparently organs are products you can buy, people keep stealing each other\u2019s organs and Jude Law is balding.\n\n Naddaf: Also, there was just a major knife-fighting scene. Are there no guns in the future?\n\n Sintumuang: Whoa. Apparently it\u2019s not just organs. You can get one of those Terminator arms too. Normally, I would be super excited about a robot arm, but alas, this movie even makes cyborg tech boring.\n\n Naddaf: Wait. Is that RZA???\n\n Sintumuang: YES!\n\n Naddaf: Another tech disparity\u2014dude is mixing music using an old-school mixing board. Has this bro heard of a Mac? And Christ, things don\u2019t bode well for this movie if we\u2019re picking on anachronisms. What\u2019s next, we dissect the lighting choices?\n\n Sintumuang: I give the lighting a C-.\n\n \n\n Naddaf: This movie wants to be good. It really, really does.\n\n Naddaf: Ugh, a stripper just jumped out of a fake heart. Never mind.\n\n Sintumuang: Poor Jude. He comes home with a new heart and finds that his locks have been changed. Wife puts luggage out and now Jude is rooming with Forest Whitaker.\n\n Naddaf: So in losing his own heart, Jude finds heart. This shit is deep. You keeping up, Monger?\n\n Sintumuang: I\u2019m regretting this. We should have taken the hot tub time machine back even further to WMEOTW the Repo Men starring Emilio Estevez. We picked the wrong Repo Men, Raha.\n\n Naddaf: I would take a journey back to The Crazies and seen that again. Pick up the pace, Jude! Find you moral compass and haul ass!\n\n Naddaf: Great, and now, a pointless love story.\n\n Sintumuang: Have you noticed everyone\u2019s drinking beer out of aluminum shaped bottles? Also, have you noticed this movie sucks?\n\nFacebookPinterest\n\n Naddaf: Wait, is this love interest the same love interest from I Am Legend? Holy crap. This is her beat: playing the vaguely-ethnic future woman.\n\n Sintumuang: This movie is already outdated. Health care reform means we\u2019ll never have to worry about Jude and Forest taking our fancy artificial organs. YES WE CAN, bitches!\n\n Naddaf: Again with the typewriter.\n\n Sintumuang: Seriously, out of all the WMEOTW this one makes me the angriest. I mean, Jude Law works for the organ company. Couldn\u2019t they have just given him one? Or you know, gave him am employee discount? A low-interest loan?\n\n Naddaf: Like a friends and family deal, at least.\n\n Naddaf: A scene too odd to describe: love interest with bionic hearing just placed some old-school headphone on Jude and plugged them into her ear. Yes. That just happened.\n\n Sintumuang: They just went to some back-alley doctor to get a new bionic knee. See, this would have been cool if it happened 2 hours ago. This movie needs a better editor. And a script. And a director.\n\n Naddaf: Oh lord. Turns out forest took his heart and gave him a robotic one so that Jude wouldn\u2019t transfer out of the repo business because he\u2019d have to pay off the heart blah blah blah fight scene stupid stupid.\n\nFacebookPinterestLaw and Whittaker.jpg \n\n Sintumuang: You know, if Vaguely-Ethnic Woman would have thought about getting like laser eyes or something she wouldn\u2019t have been thrown like a rag doll by Forest Whitaker.\n\n Naddaf: Jude\u2019s kid just tasered his mom. Guy a few seats down exploded in laughter. Monger woke up. I contemplated lunch.\n\n Sintumuang: And we got our first walkout. I\u2019m surprised anyone\u2019s lasted this long who\u2019s not blogging about how bad this movie is.\n\n Naddaf: Now they\u2019re having sex/scanning her organs and this shit makes no sense. This is like the weirdest sex scene ever. They are cutting themselves open, stripping, and sticking scanners into their body to take their body parts out of the system whilst making major o faces. If I wanted to see surgical fetish porn I\u2019d be back at my desk!\n\n Sintumuang: Boo. Trick ending.\n\n(Want more PAIN? We also suffered through The Good Guy, The Crazies, and The Bounty Hunter!)"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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