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"The internet is great for many things, all of which are horribly humiliating people who desperately care about you. Exhibit A: a Twitter feed putting everyone's business in the streets, called Texts From My Xes.Started in response to one man's persistent, self-pwning attempts at reconciliation, TFMX features 100% real, crazy, desperate, and flat out weird things that have been sent to the founder's friends and coworkers, whose shared experiences suggest most men out there are incapable of textual seduction. Selected brilliance:Food: \"i ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with dmx tonight. jealous?\"...\"My buddy just gave me some cupcakes, u want them? I swear I'll just drop them off and leave\"...\"I don't think i'll ever eat at 5 Guys again without you\"...Sex: \"but whatever dude played his cards right dude planted his seed and just swooped right in there so i guess i gotta give him respect and sh*t\"...\"I think this is all because of your birth control\"...\"so wait are we just taking a few weeks off? not to be a d*ck but i want to start having sex again. but its not like i need it right away\"...\"Is this because i slept with your roomate?\"...Spite: \"you were more fun when you were skinny anyway\"...\"go look in the mirror, you're not that hot\"...\"fine then. you peaked in college anyway\"...\"i want my beat nova shirt back. i want it back\"...Misc: \"last chance to start a life together...you need to let me know soon, i got a date with a teacher\"...\"My AA sponsor says I shouldn't talk to you\"...\"In case you're listening to this voicemail first, please disregard the first 13. I was angry\"...\"i don't see what me breaking your window has anything to do with this\"...And to be sure it's all fair, they've even pulled a few choice texts sent by the ladies, like the ever-feminine \"i honestly want to puke when i think of you. i miss you\", because the internet is great for many things, all of which involve barfing."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<https://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/texts-from-my-xes_comedy_time-wasters_websites>