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" 1. Loads of people think our job is basically one big Freshers partySpoiler: they&amp;#039;re wrong. 2. What we actually are is bouncers, lipreaders, counsellors, cleaners and events planners all rolled into oneYou know how proper bars have separate job roles? Yeah, student ones, not so much. 3. We could do with a few less punters coming down on WednesdaysSports teams = the most obnoxious drunks by far, and there are SO MANY OF YOU. 4. But could definitely do with a few more of you on the slower shiftsHours feel like centuries when you&amp;#039;re a Sunday-afternoon barperson with no one to serve and no Sunday roast to scoff. 5. Seeing our flatmates on a night out is fun for ten minutes, then sad until last ordersSaying &amp;#039;at least you&amp;#039;re here!&amp;#039; doesn&amp;#039;t do much good when we&amp;#039;re here as your poorly paid lackeys. 6. But it&amp;#039;s the end of exam celebrations that are the absolute WORSTWe just did the exact same ones, and where&amp;#039;s our obnoxiously large bucket of shots? Oh, right, being poured into the mouths of someone who ISN&amp;#039;T WORKING. 7. We secretly enjoy dressing up for the theme nightsDon&amp;#039;t tell our boss, but it turns out we don&amp;#039;t look so bad in neon. 8. But we also own at least one entire drawer of t-shirts and hoodies with the uni&amp;#039;s name on themAnd unlike you, we got ours for free. Suckers. 9. We definitely wear them even when we&amp;#039;re not at workOnly around the house, and for nipping to the shop, of course. Okay, and to lectures THAT ONE TIME, GOD. 10. Speaking of, we&amp;#039;re more guilty than most of having naps in lectures tooYou got home at 2am, we don&amp;#039;t get home til the sun comes up: it happens. Just elbow us if we snore. 11. We know the names of at least 75% of the student populationYou&amp;#039;ve probably got a fairly obnoxious nickname based on your most embarrassing drunken escapade. Soz. 12. And everyone knows our name tooThey think it&amp;#039;s &amp;#039;that girl that works in the campus bar&amp;#039;, but still. 13. However, even the closest of associations will not get you a free drinkNot even with your best sob story about how your loan hasn&amp;#039;t come in yet \u2013 our hands are totally tied, so please stop asking. 14. Despite the fact we spend our whole lives moaning about it, SU barkeeping is a totally proud legacyWe get a bit emosh when the awkward first-year we&amp;#039;ve been training up pulls the perfect pint. 15. And making those annoying fancy cocktails will be our party trick long after we graduateYour degree may have taught you many things, but it didn&amp;#039;t teach you to make a perfect appletini. 16. So deep down, we know we could have done a lot worse for a student jobWell, you don&amp;#039;t get first dibs on the karaoke machine if you work at in the corner shop, do you? 17. Even if we will smell of Jager and Apple Sourz until for the rest of our lives3 years of slinging shots doesn&amp;#039;t wash out overnight.   "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/worklife/campus/a38925/thing-only-know-work-students-union-bar/>