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"Y&amp;#39;all, I have a college degree and the love of a good man who will still want to have sex with me even though I look like an inmate on MSNBC&amp;#39;s LockUp: Raw when I wear a sleeping cap/&amp;#39;do rag to bed in order to protect my Afro. What I&amp;#39;m trying to say is that I have my life together, so why do I still watch the funny and ridiculous shenanigans of the Real Housewives of Atlanta?\nPinterestFacebookPretty much everything you need to know about RHOA&amp;#39;s upcoming season is expressed in Kandi&amp;#39;s bewildered face: Tomfoolery will be going down.\nSeriously, every time I think I&amp;#39;m done with the show and its silliness, I&amp;#39;ll flip on the TV, stumble upon RHOA, and then something like this...\n\n...or this...\n\n...or this...\n\n...happens. Before I know it, I&amp;#39;m laughing and watching the show religiously again. Clearly, I&amp;#39;m powerless when it comes to RHOA, and I couldn&amp;#39;t wait to see last night&amp;#39;s season premiere. In case you missed it, here&amp;#39;s the drama and joke-filled trailer for season six:\nSo in honor the show&amp;#39;s return to TV, I&amp;#39;m looking back at some of my all-time favorite moments in RHOA history. Let&amp;#39;s get to it, shall we?\nGone With the Wind Fabulous\nNormally, when I just finished cussing someone out for the past 10 minutes, I put Iyanla Vanzant on speed dial and ask her to Fix My Life. Not Kenya Moore, RHOA&amp;#39;s resident drama queen. She decided to spin around like a ballerina in a child&amp;#39;s jewelry box and talk about how she&amp;#39;s not only fabulous but Gone With the Wind fabulous. And I LOVED it. Definitely the highlight of last year&amp;#8212;and arguably of the entire franchise&amp;#8212;and that&amp;#39;s saying something considering NeNe is usually the one with the most memorable quips.\nPizza Laser/Friendship Contract\nThis scene is two scoops of foolishness. Scoop number one is Cynthia acting like this is middle school and wanting NeNe to sign a &amp;quot;friendship contract,&amp;quot; and scoop number two is Kim eating pizza while getting fat lasered off her body instead of doing what everyone else does to lose weight: working out and not eating pizza. Whenever I&amp;#39;m in need of something ignorant to watch so that my life doesn&amp;#39;t seem like a disaster, I turn on this clip:\nSheree&amp;#39;s Wig Pull on Kim\nSheree is no longer a part of the show, which is kind of a bummer because she was really great at being oblivious about how ridiculous she is and at snatching wigs like it&amp;#39;s her job. In this scene, Sheree and Kim&amp;#39;s on-again, off-again friendship was definitely in the &amp;quot;off&amp;quot; category after they got into a fight&amp;#8212;one&amp;#39;s a b-tch, the other &amp;quot;has no class,&amp;quot; blah, blah, blah, every argument is the same on this show&amp;#8212;inside a restaurant and took it to the streets, where Sheree believed it would be a good idea to let Kim know how mad she was by tugging at Kim&amp;#39;s hair. Bonus points to NeNe for simultaneously trying to break them up and keeping the fight going:\nJust How Long Was Phaedra Preggers?\nSigh. When she was pregnant with her first son, Ayden, Phaedra couldn&amp;#39;t turn to the left or the right without tripping over a lie about how far along she was. I understand she probably didn&amp;#39;t want to the truth to come out, which is that she likely got pregnant before she married her husband, Apollo. Being that she comes from a religious household, that is a no-no. You know what else is a no-no? Saying you don&amp;#39;t know how long you&amp;#39;ve been with child and suggesting that you&amp;#39;re planning on giving birth at seven months because after all, babies are &amp;quot;fully formed by then.&amp;quot; Um, what? Phae-Phae, there&amp;#39;s a reason pregnancy lasts nine months, and it&amp;#39;s not because babies like chilling in the womb for an extra two months like they&amp;#39;re at a resort in Boca Raton. It&amp;#39;s because they&amp;#39;re not fully formed! Heck, their lungs don&amp;#39;t become fully developed until around nine months. So insane that she thought she was going to be able to sneak her ridiculous story past other moms as if they don&amp;#39;t know any better. Stick to the law and let someone else handle prenatal care, Phaedra:\nWho&amp;#39;s Gon Check Me, Boo?\nIn my opinion, this is the moment that truly put RHOA on the map. People were quoting this at work and at parties, not only because it&amp;#39;s a badass thing to say, but because of the situation&amp;#8212;Sheree almost coming to blows with her party planner at his office&amp;#8212;is totally absurd:\nKim&amp;#39;s &amp;quot;Singing&amp;quot; Career\nIt&amp;#39;s never been entirely clear what Kim does for a living or how she earns her money. I know she was a nurse for a while and then she dated a rich married man, who gave her money. However, Kim insisted that she was a working woman as she attempted to launch a singing career with the help of producer and frequent TLC collaborator Dallas Austin. Props to him for keeping a straight face as Kim&amp;#39;s singing is like a drunk drag queen who drops her voice because she forgot she was supposed to be sounding like a woman:\nKenya Claims She Get Mistaken for Beyonce All the Time__\nThe only thing I can say about this is:\n\nClose Your Legs to Married Men\nThe Housewives reunions are always epic, and season one&amp;#39;s is no different. Andy Cohen realized how major it was thanks to this showdown between former friends and current frenemies NeNe and Kim. NeNe had been aware that Kim was having an affair with married Big Poppa, but it never seemed to bother her until they were no longer buddies. That when NeNe lashed out and said something all of us were probably thinking:\nNeNe&amp;#39;s Heel-a-Thon\nYes, the drama is a big part of RHOA&amp;#39;s success, but it&amp;#39;s really nice when the show shifts the focus off that and onto something positive, such as NeNe&amp;#39;s Heel-a-Thon, which was created to raise money for her charity for battered women. As someone who was affected by domestic violence, NeNe knows how difficult it is to overcome a situation like that, so it was important for her to take time out from being materialistic to be selfless. Side note: What&amp;#39;s up with all the guys being way better at running in heels than the women? Dwight looks like Usain Bolt out there:\nBoughetto Baby Shower\nOh, dear. The pomp and circumstance is on overload for Phaedra&amp;#39;s baby shower. I understand that having your first child is wonderful and magical, but do her friends really need to watch live ballet when all they want to do is see her open the presents they got her and drink free booze? Not at all:\n__\nWhat do you think of this list? Are you still excited about Real Housewives of Atlanta? What did you think of last night&amp;#39;s premiere, and does it have you hooked for the rest of the season?"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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