<http://schema.org/articleBody>
" Each morning, we will read the Internet so you don&amp;#039;t have to. Here are our takeaways: SOMEONE MADE DOLLY PARTON SOUND LIKE A MAN  A man took Dolly Parton singing &amp;quot;Jolene&amp;quot; and slowed the recording down so that it now sounds like a haunting ballad sung by a man.  HERE IS A MAN TO NEVER RESEMBLE  The guy who beat up a gas station clerk while stealing cutouts of David Hasselhoff.  FAST FOOD HAS SURPRISINGLY HIGH STANDARDS  The fast food that appears in commercials actually must be prepared by an actual store employee with actual store food.  THE SIZE OF THE MOON IS EASY TO REMEMBER  A little taller than these United States.  HOW TO THROW A BETTER FIRST PITCH  Like Koreans \u2014 or, more specifically, like rhythmic gymnast Shin Soo-ji.  "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/news/a24365/before-we-begin-082113/>