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"A family friend just lost her father to cancer and she is, quite understandably, having a very hard time with it. Her grief hits especially close to home for me because she comes from a family much like mine&amp;#8212;super close-knit, all sisters, great father who everyone leaned on. I&amp;#39;ve referred her to Sally&amp;#39;s Circle, which she&amp;#39;s finding very helpful, but I thought since many of us have lived through great loss before, we might be able to share some tips for surviving, for coping, for learning to smile again. Here is what she&amp;#39;s been going through:\nI recently lost my father to ocular melanoma and I am experiencing such a void in my heart that I can&amp;#39;t describe. He was sick for a total of five years. First he lost his eye to the cancer, and then it metastasized in his liver and he lost his life to liver cancer. He had chosen not to live in fear and eventually stopped having scans, MRIs, etc. At first I was very angry with him, and then I couldn&amp;#39;t agree with him more. During the time he started to deteriorate I honestly didn&amp;#39;t come to terms with the fact that he was going to die. I just didn&amp;#39;t want to see him in pain.\nThe last couple of months that we had with him were amazing. We took a trip as a family to Naples, Florida last July 4th weekend knowing that would be our last. At that point he didn&amp;#39;t even look sick. A lot changed over the next nine months. He was such a fighter. Such a strong spirit. And now he&amp;#39;s gone.\nPassover was horrible. I just wanted the holiday to end. Normally we have almost 20 people over at my parents&amp;#39; house. This year I hosted. There were only 12 the first night, and five the second. I am one of four sisters. I saw none of them either night. It was almost as if we couldn&amp;#39;t stand the grief and didn&amp;#39;t want to be together. Honestly, I think that was for the best.\nThe question I have is why did this have to happen to him, or to anyone? Who makes these decisions, and what are they based on? I cry almost every day, and I have to try to keep it together at work. I have such a support group with my family and friends and my husband is great, but at times he can&amp;#39;t relate to my void. He doesn&amp;#39;t want me sad anymore. Will I ever not be sad?\nCan you give me any advice on how to move forward?"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/story/how-to-cope-with-a-devastating>