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"  Two days after abruptly canceling a brunch date in Los Angeles, Drew Barrymore is calling from Lisbon. She&amp;#039;s visiting her inamorato of four years, drummer Fabrizio Moretti, who is touring with his band, the Strokes. &amp;quot;I hope you aren&amp;#039;t cross with me,&amp;quot; she says primly, sounding like a six-year-old trying to avert a spanking rather than the veteran actress, two-time divorc\u00E9e, and producing potentate she has become at age 31.   As best as one can assess over a crackly transcontinental phone line, the couple is the very picture of rock &amp;#039;n&amp;#039; roll domesticity. Barrymore packed plenty of frocks and high heels for their rendezvous. &amp;quot;Fabby inspires me to dress up like a lady,&amp;quot; she says.  &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s the more fun stuff to take off\u2014rrrowl,&amp;quot; puts in Moretti, 26, from the background.  Barrymore attempts to describe the apartment they have decorated together in downtown Manhattan: the eggplant-color shag carpet, the flea market tchotchkes, the collection of family portraits she tried to tack up herself\u2014&amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m a bit of a control freak&amp;quot;\u2014until the walls looked like Swiss cheese.  &amp;quot;Too personal,&amp;quot; comes a muffled, reproving hiss.  &amp;quot;Oops,&amp;quot; she says with a giggle.  Moments later, talking about her late grandfather, the master thespian John Barrymore, she seems on the verge of tears. &amp;quot;I wish I could build a time machine and be with him,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;I would love to do a scene with him. So cheesy, but it almost makes me cry.&amp;quot;  And there you have the Tao of Drew: bubbling, blurting, and blubbering all the way to billion-dollar box office. Under the aegis of her company, Flower Films, founded with Nancy Juvonen in 1994, Barrymore produced and starred in the hugely successful Charlie&amp;#039;s Angels franchise. Then there was that string of hits with words like &amp;quot;wedding,&amp;quot; &amp;quot;kissed,&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;dates&amp;quot; in their titles. She has nothing against the effervescent romantic comedy that has become her calling card. &amp;quot;I want to be a human machine that just makes people f--king laugh hysterically,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;Like the orgasmatron in Sleeper.&amp;quot;  But though she&amp;#039;s happy with her success of the past decade, Barrymore is far from content. &amp;quot;I still feel like I have a lot to prove,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;My biggest burning question is &amp;#039;How much more are you capable of?&amp;#039;&amp;quot;  Audiences will get a chance to find out this month, when Barrymore appears as a low-rent Las Vegas lounge singer named Billie Offer in the drama Lucky You, directed by Curtis Hanson, the man who transformed Kim Basinger from fading sex symbol to Oscar winner with L.A. Confidential. &amp;quot;This is more textured and layered than anything she&amp;#039;s done before,&amp;quot; says Eric Bana, who costars as a troubled professional poker player. &amp;quot;She&amp;#039;s got this element that she can come across as really strong, and a tough chick, but at the same time you want to protect her.&amp;quot;  A connoisseur of vintage Hollywood, Hanson declares himself &amp;quot;absolutely crazy about&amp;quot; his pedigreed leading lady. &amp;quot;The movie, thematically, relates to overcoming fear, and she specifically relates to that in that everyone always told her, all her life, that she couldn&amp;#039;t sing,&amp;quot; he says. &amp;quot;I think because of that she had to do it in a very public way, not just in the shower. Not to prove them wrong by being a great singer, because she&amp;#039;s much more self-aware than that, but to overcome her fear. To not have her life defined by what she is afraid to do.&amp;quot; Though thoroughly charming in Woody Allen&amp;#039;s 1996 musical Everyone Says I Love You, Barrymore was the only member of that A-list cast whose numbers were dubbed. &amp;quot;It was a really unfortunate moment in my life,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;Ever since then I believed that I couldn&amp;#039;t do it, and that I was a bit of a failure and a bit of a person who didn&amp;#039;t try hard enough, and I&amp;#039;ve always had this sort of sick feeling about it.&amp;quot; To psych herself up for the role of Billie, she made a compilation tape of actresses&amp;#039; amateur crooning in movies throughout the ages (Rita Hayworth in Gilda, Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Diane Keaton in Annie Hall, Meryl Streep in Postcards From the Edge), then spent five months working diligently with a voice coach. &amp;quot;It was like Sisyphus up the mountain, times 20,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;I know when people hear my singing they&amp;#039;ll say &amp;#039;What? She f--king sucks!&amp;#039; But if they have any idea just what it took to get to the f--king sucking place\u2014awesome!&amp;quot;  Maybe it&amp;#039;s Moretti&amp;#039;s influence, but Barrymore&amp;#039;s career is having a melodic moment; she&amp;#039;ll portray a lyricist in December&amp;#039;s Music and Lyrics. Okay, it&amp;#039;s another romantic comedy\u2014indeed, her fellow headliner is Hugh Grant (as a singer), the ne plus ultra of romantic comedy. But &amp;quot;the lows are a little bit lower than we have seen in some of her other films,&amp;quot; says the director, Marc Lawrence. &amp;quot;Drew is being asked to hold up half the movie. She&amp;#039;s not just &amp;#039;the girl.&amp;#039;&amp;quot; He affectionately remembers her &amp;quot;huge mess&amp;quot; of a trailer, where Barrymore and her loyal entourage enacted a makeshift Project Runway competition during downtime, complete with sewing machine. &amp;quot;Twelve people and a dog, playing music, clothes everywhere. And yet there&amp;#039;s this acting royalty coursing through her veins, and you can see it. I think, like a lot of people who&amp;#039;ve been through a lot of things, she&amp;#039;s a complex person. She&amp;#039;s an interesting combination of very laid-back and neurotic\u2014almost hypochondriac.&amp;quot;  Two days later, Barrymore is sitting in the trippy retro Encounter restaurant at Los Angeles International Airport, discussing a recent and seemingly random spate of panic attacks. &amp;quot;Every single medical expert says they&amp;#039;re not real,&amp;quot; she says, a chic ragamuffin in flip-flops, striped leggings from Urban Outfitters, a black-and-white flowered Stella McCartney tunic, and a ponytail. &amp;quot;So you&amp;#039;re like, &amp;#039;But how come when my throat is closing up, I&amp;#039;m blind with dizziness, I can&amp;#039;t catch my breath, and I am hot and faint and want to rip my skin off and am convinced I&amp;#039;m going to die, that&amp;#039;s so real to me?&amp;#039;  &amp;quot;I had some specialist recommend a daily drug,&amp;quot; she continues, &amp;quot;but I don&amp;#039;t want to do it because I don&amp;#039;t want to suppress my emotions. I would never take a pill. I did see that it worked on my own father.&amp;quot; John Drew Barrymore died in 2004 of cancer, his medical bills paid by his daughter, who reconciled with him toward the end after a long period of estrangement. &amp;quot;He was on Zoloft, and he went from acting like an absolute insane maniac to a semi-insane maniac, and it was a great improvement for him, so I really believe in that stuff, but....&amp;quot;  Mom Jaid, meanwhile, was notoriously the mother of all stage mothers, though she seemed to prefer gallivanting in nightclubs with little Drew as escort-mascot to knitting quietly in the wings. &amp;quot;My mother used to dress rather risqu\u00E9 when I was a kid, and that sort of shocked me,&amp;quot; Barrymore says, considering the always-fraught issue of maternal style influence. &amp;quot;I always thought moms were supposed to wear cardigans and flats, but she was in leather bracelets and minidresses. In hindsight, it was pretty cool, but I&amp;#039;m probably more conservative because of it.&amp;quot;  On the table is a BlackBerry\u2014&amp;quot;in case my boyfriend texts me,&amp;quot; Barrymore says\u2014a black Smythson of Bond Street travel wallet, and a glimmering glass of pinot grigio brought by a waitress whose name tag reads Fabiola.  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m Fabby, and I&amp;#039;ll be taking care of you tonight,&amp;quot; she says.  &amp;quot;Your name is Fabby?&amp;quot; squeals her famous customer. &amp;quot;My boyfriend&amp;#039;s name is Fabby. That&amp;#039;s weird, that&amp;#039;s a sign. A little message from him through the universe!&amp;quot;  Moretti is en route to the Strokes&amp;#039; next tour stop, in South Korea. &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;re like two firecrackers shooting in different directions,&amp;quot; Barrymore says a little forlornly. An aubergine-color teddy bear, a gift from a hotel in Paris, is peeking out from her soft suede Foley + Corinna satchel. &amp;quot;I love him sooo much,&amp;quot; says the star, meaning the toy, as she reverts to a six-year-old. &amp;quot;Feel him!&amp;quot; she urges, fondling it, then rolls her eyes ceilingward. &amp;quot;Clearly, I&amp;#039;m a little girl. I used to have a blankie and when my mom had to wash it, I would sit outside the dryer and watch it go round and round, and cry.&amp;quot; (Perhaps this laundry trauma is why she keeps Moretti&amp;#039;s unwashed T-shirts in her bed. &amp;quot;It makes me happy to smell them.&amp;quot;)  Even when Barrymore was emerging from pre-adolescent rehab, taking parts in trashy TV movies and flashing poor, stunned David Letterman, she has always retained something of a teddy-bearish quality herself. &amp;quot;The funny thing about Drew is this combination of innocence and worldliness,&amp;quot; Hanson says. &amp;quot;Since the first time we saw her in E.T., she was like a little adult, and now that she&amp;#039;s an adult, there&amp;#039;s still an innocence about her that&amp;#039;s so endearing, and so appealing.&amp;quot;  &amp;quot;You just want to squeeze her,&amp;quot; says Jimmy Fallon, Barrymore&amp;#039;s costar in the baseball movie Fever Pitch, who is currently dating Juvonen. &amp;quot;She&amp;#039;s the Charmin of movie stars.&amp;quot;  But ever since she started working out and hanging with a gaunt indie-rock crowd, losing 20 pounds soon before her thirtieth birthday, there has been a lot less of Barrymore to squeeze. Fashion-wise, this weight loss &amp;quot;has made me more confident and adventurous,&amp;quot; she says, sawing into an order of flatiron steak and mashed potatoes (&amp;quot;Thank you, Fabby&amp;quot;). For a long time the actress favored schlumpy casualwear, as if trying to mute her majestic bone structure. Even at premieres and formal events, she was often found in a droopy pantsuit. Then\u2014ta-da!\u2014there she was in the front row of the Christian Dior fall haute couture show in Paris last July, vamping it up in a positively Ava Gardner-esque single-strap black gown. &amp;quot;I was working it like I was on a catwalk,&amp;quot; says Barrymore with satisfaction. &amp;quot;Total La Dolce Vita getup. Two, three years ago, I wouldn&amp;#039;t have had that freedom.&amp;quot;  Of course, there have been times when she has arguably exercised a little too much freedom, as with that Kermit-green, flutter-sleeved Gucci dress that she wore sans brassiere to the most recent Golden Globes ceremony in January. The actress swiftly redeemed\u2014one might even say capitalized on\u2014the gaffe by donning a pair of large prosthetic breasts for a self-spoofing sketch on Saturday Night Live. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve gotten ripped plenty, and I just say &amp;#039;Oh well,&amp;#039;&amp;quot; Barrymore says. &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t regret those moments, because they&amp;#039;re kind of what define you. I mean, I wore daisies in my hair to the Academy Awards once and people were vomiting on the floors, but that won&amp;#039;t ever stop me. I love rolling with it.&amp;quot;  Sartorially she has long idolized Jane Fonda, Debbie Harry, and Bianca Jagger, but a &amp;quot;fashion agent,&amp;quot; Anne Nelson, and stylist, Lee Harris, have helped Barrymore develop a taste for Galliano and Rochas, as well. (&amp;quot;I simply view myself as her helper in suggesting clothing options and collecting pieces for her approval,&amp;quot; Harris kowtows in an e-mail. &amp;quot;I am in no way the creator of any look of hers; she was a famously stylish lady before we met.&amp;quot;)  But the fancy feathers are only for public appearances. &amp;quot;Then it all comes off and I turn into a pumpkin,&amp;quot; Barrymore says. &amp;quot;Real life is pretty much jeans and T-shirts. I don&amp;#039;t feel I have to be &amp;#039;on&amp;#039; all the time, or something I&amp;#039;m not. Fabby and I do have some friends that have that kind of life. Very few, but we always think how lucky we are that we&amp;#039;re not like that.&amp;quot;  Nor does she let the presence of paparazzi constrict her &amp;quot;flighty bird&amp;quot; orbit in the world, as she puts it. &amp;quot;If someone pops out of the bushes, I&amp;#039;m shocked, I get stunned\u2014my soul hurts,&amp;quot; Barrymore says, &amp;quot;but I never walk around suspicious or anticipating. Grocery shopping and everything. Normalcy is sooo wonderful.&amp;quot;  Of course, with such a burnished lineage, normalcy is always going to be a relative term. &amp;quot;She has the stardom of John Barrymore,&amp;quot; Hanson says, &amp;quot;but the ambition and the tenacity and strength of character to be in the game for the long haul, which he didn&amp;#039;t. I have no doubt that she&amp;#039;ll be directing one day.&amp;quot;  Not that Barrymore is in any rush to direct. She&amp;#039;s busy preparing for another assignation with Moretti, and to play Jackie Kennedy&amp;#039;s eccentric cousin Edie in a feature based on the 1975 documentary Grey Gardens, with Jessica Lange as her mother, Edith\u2014and no, Adam Sandler is not also attached. A hot cultural property (a musical using the same material arrives on Broadway next month), it has the potential to put a much-craved stamp of gravitas on her acting career.  &amp;quot;The best thing I can do is not talk about it and just do the work, and if it&amp;#039;s presentable then that&amp;#039;ll be another story, because I&amp;#039;m f--king scared!&amp;quot; Barrymore says. &amp;quot;And that&amp;#039;s what I want. I want to be terrified. I really want to do what I think I&amp;#039;m going to f--king fail at miserably. Go down in flames like a fighter pilot, totally screw everything up, be an incompetent, sabotaging asshole. I want full-tilt, 80-miles-an-hour heading into a brick wall. That&amp;#039;s what I want.&amp;quot; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a9210/the-tao-of-drew-19357/>