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"I find it&amp;amp;#8217;s one of the hardest things in a relationship not to do. And yet&amp;amp;#133;Here&amp;amp;#8217;s a telling piece of information I got from a friend of mine, who happens to be a couples counselor. Most of the time, both people in a relationship think he or she is the one who does the dishes more. The other day, I apologized. Not a big deal, right? People do it all the time. Some don&amp;amp;#8217;t even blog about it. But that&amp;amp;#8217;s not how I felt. We&amp;amp;#8217;d had some argument earlier that night. Our basic argument is always the same: we kind of equally think the other person isn&amp;amp;#8217;t listening to what we have to say, so instead of stopping to listen, we both just repeat our points with increasing insistence and volume. I think this argument was about, I crap you negative, taking out the garbage. Anyway, so we&amp;amp;#8217;re lying in bed. I&amp;amp;#8217;m sitting there thinking about all the reasons I&amp;amp;#8217;m right. About the garbage, about the principles behind taking out the garbage, and basically about everything we&amp;amp;#8217;ve ever had any disagreement about. I&amp;amp;#8217;m about to go to sleep when I decide: be the bigger person. &amp;amp;#8220;I&amp;amp;#8217;m sorry,&amp;amp;#8221; I said. I wasn&amp;amp;#8217;t really sorry. But I took one for the team. Blossoms kind of melted. We nestled down together for the night. But then I started to stew again. &amp;amp;#8220;You know,&amp;amp;#8221; I said, &amp;amp;#8220;the last three fights we&amp;amp;#8217;ve had, I&amp;amp;#8217;ve apologized. You have to do it next time.&amp;amp;#8221; And just like that we iced up again. Here&amp;amp;#8217;s the thing I&amp;amp;#8217;ve come to realize. If you (or I) keep score in a relationship, you lose. Sure, you should feel cared for and loved and thought of by your man/woman. But if I spent my trying to rack up MORE points for being kind, doing something thoughtful, making Blossoms&amp;amp;#8217; life easier, instead of waiting for her to even the score, I&amp;amp;#8217;d be happier more of the time. If I didn&amp;amp;#8217;t notice that I&amp;amp;#8217;d done the dishes more, or if it made me happier that I was able to wash the dishes more to help Blossoms more, I&amp;amp;#8217;d a happier person. I&amp;amp;#8217;m going to try that. Who will join me in the DON&amp;amp;#8217;T KEEP SCORE CHALLENGE? Get Glamour Wherever You Go! Follow us on Twitter. Friend us on Facebook. Add us to your Google homepage."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2009/06/are-you-keeping-score>