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" I guess I&amp;#039;m like the guy who&amp;#039;s never seen Star Wars. But I never thought it was a huge deal to have never eaten a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. My mother just never pushed it. She says I told her I didn&amp;#039;t want it after I watched a kid in third grade ball one up and fling it across the room. That you could ball it up was a red flag for me. But it&amp;#039;s not like I&amp;#039;m a picky eater. As a kid I used to scrounge the cupboards for snacks and more than once ate peanut butter and Swiss cheese on pita. It&amp;#039;s just that texture and consistency are important to me. PB&amp;amp;amp;J just looks like mush. So here I am staring at my first. It&amp;#039;s the American classic: grocery-store white, Jif creamy, and Welch&amp;#039;s grape, lovingly prepared by a mother of two. My first bite is hard to swallow -- the jelly slides around. By my second, I&amp;#039;m wishing there was a piece of meat or something firm in there. Is oozing supposed to be appetizing? If I had to do it again, I&amp;#039;d toast the bread, go for crunchy peanut butter, and use jam instead of jelly. But I won&amp;#039;t. I went thirty-seven years before this one, and God willing, I&amp;#039;ll go another thirty-seven before the next. --As told to Andy Langer Related Stories:\u2022 The Sandwich Materials \u2022 The Sandwich Glossary \u2022 The Sandwich Feud \u2022 The Noonie&amp;#039;s Girl \u2022 The One Night Sandwich \u2022 Egg-Sandwich Moments \u2022 The Bimbo Sandwich \u2022 The Grousewich \u2022 The Elliot Gould, Stage Delicatessen, New York \u2022 A Year Without Sandwiches "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/food-drink/a4245/pbj-virgin-0308/>