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"I never sing in the shower, but this morning, while I was letting my hair conditioner do its softening/silkening/detangling thing, an old Captain and Tennille tune popped into my head. (Wait, aren&amp;#039;t all C &amp;amp;amp; T songs old?) Anyhow, it was Love Will Keep Us Together. &amp;quot;Think of me, babe, whenever/some sweet-talkin&amp;#039; girl comes along\u2026&amp;quot; I believe the song came to mind because I&amp;#039;ve been thinking about the L-word a lot lately, trying to figure out how it fits into the equation of my situation with Don. I think I&amp;#039;ve figured it out\u2014and so, if I may, I&amp;#039;m going to compose a musical metaphor by way of explanation (and-a-one, and-a-two): My relationship with Don is like a rock song (in the key of D-minor, of course!). All the specific grievances I have about him make up the melody; my overall feelings for him, the thing that drives the music/marriage along and lays down the beat, are the bass line. I&amp;#039;ve played the piano since I was a kid, and I know that when I sit down at the keyboard, I can noodle around with the melody\u2014toss in a grace note here or there, ignore the lento and really let &amp;#039;er rip, riff on a chord. But that bass line, well, it stays pretty much the same; if it didn&amp;#039;t I&amp;#039;d be playing an entirely different song. So what in the name of Bach am I getting at? I&amp;#039;m trying to say that while it would certainly be possible to change up the melody of my marriage/work on the grievances\u2014entire books are devoted to multi-step plans for fixing broken relationships, improving communication, reigniting flamed-out sex lives\u2014there has to be some level of genuine affection and desire there for this to work. Sure, Don and I could schedule regular &amp;quot;date nights&amp;quot; (although frankly right now I would rather chew nails), take scuba diving lessons together, make a pact to call each other once a day just to say, &amp;quot;Love ya, hon!&amp;quot; Maybe if we did such things often enough and for long enough we would feel closer and we could get along better, and maybe that&amp;#039;s the most you can expect from marriage\u2014except I&amp;#039;m not buying it. I have friends who bitch about the same sorts of things I do, but in the end they deal, because they can say, unequivocally, &amp;quot;Yeah, he&amp;#039;s an idiot/asshole/Scrooge/you-fill-in-the-blank\u2014but I love him.&amp;quot; I&amp;#039;m not sure where the love between Don and me has gone; I&amp;#039;m not even sure I ever really loved him. I was in a hurry to get married, in a hurry to have a family when we met, but even on our wedding day I remember walking up and down the street with a close friend and debating, debating, debating whether to go through with it. I had a hunch, I guess. Bottom line: Love would keep Don and me together\u2014if we were both feeling it. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.womansday.com/life/a40712/i-wanna-write-you-a-love-song-3857/?src=shelter_footer>