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" 1. You use the candle on the restaurant table to help you read the menu because who can see with this lighting? 2. Also why is it so loud in here?  3. All the nail polishes you buy are basically slight variations on the same color.  4. You always have tissues. (Which is good, because you cry at sappy movies. And Today Show segments. And commercials.)  5. You&amp;#039;ve discovered that asking your significant other if they feel hungry is a much more effective tactic to get food than telling him you&amp;#039;re fucking starving.  6. You can&amp;#039;t stand it when there are crumbs left on the table and must clean them immediately.  7. You send Christmas cards. In the mail. Written by hand. With a stamp that costs money.  8. You watch Duck Dynasty because Obama recommended it on 60 Minutes. You&amp;#039;re also really annoyed that 60 Minutes &amp;amp;amp; Amazing Race are always preempted by football in the fall.  9. But at least you have NPR...maybe someone can teach you how to download podcasts of Wait Wait Don&amp;#039;t Tell Me.   10. Why shop at Nordstrom Rack when you can get the same thing at Macy&amp;#039;s with a coupon on a sale day for even less? 11. You always feel up clothes before you buy them to check the quality.  12. You tell everyone you know that the secret to removing grease stains is baby powder. 13. You get upset when your roommate doesn&amp;#039;t properly seal the bag of chips/bread/cookies, and they go stale.  14. You view the members of One Direction as five identical tiny people.  Want more from Alexandra? Follow her on Twitter. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/news/a5047/turning-into-mom/>