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"  DEAR E. JEAN: I took a new job a year ago as the VP of business development at a large distribution company. The owner/CEO is a former beau (we dated briefly). Everything seemed fine, and I was happy doing my job. But little by little I&amp;#039;m being ordered to tell lies to prospective partners and suppliers, and my old flame has turned out to be an alpha male of the first order, with a huge ego, a Maserati Quattroporte, giant expense accounts, illegal business dealings, and a vicious tongue. He screams at and mistreats everyone beneath him\u2014me included. Worse, he&amp;#039;s insinuating himself upon me, grabbing my breasts when no one is looking, inviting me to a posh hotel for sex, things like that. I&amp;#039;m thinking of suing him for sexual harassment. Or should I threaten to expose him to partners and suppliers, and negotiate an exit package for a lump sum of money if I agree to stay quiet? Then I could start a jewelry company and live the life I love. \u2014Lost and Restless RESTLESS, MY LUV: Save all e-mails, memos, letters, etc., that instruct you to lie to partners and suppliers. Make copies of shady accounting sheets and, if it&amp;#039;s legal in your state, record office telephone calls. You&amp;#039;re looking for proof that the Maserati is defrauding his partners. While you&amp;#039;re documenting the Maserati&amp;#039;s criminal enterprises, spy-cam the man. Set a hidden camera in a public area of your office where the Maserati&amp;#039;s attacks usually occur. (You may legally record video inside offices in most states\u2014obviously not in bathrooms, dressing rooms, etc.) If you happen to catch the Maserati mistreating other employees, so much the worse for the alpha asshole. During this period do not confide in coworkers. All warfare is based on surprise. When you&amp;#039;ve acquired solid evidence\u2014the law places time limits on reporting crimes, so don&amp;#039;t dally!\u2014hire a warrioress lawyer specializing in harassment to file charges with the state and with his company. The Maserati will no doubt hire a squad of lawyers to blast your claims as &amp;quot;ridiculous, frivolous, and stupid.&amp;quot; Gird your loins! Because you once dated the varmint, he&amp;#039;ll probably weep about how you violated him with your sexual advances. Be prepared! When the court reviews the breast-grabbing video, however, my guess\u2014based on similar cases\u2014is that you (and your lawyer) will receive punitive damages. So, to answer your question, Miss Restless: No. No. No. No. No. No. Do not &amp;quot;stay quiet.&amp;quot; If women had stayed quiet these past 50 years, we&amp;#039;d all still be so busy being sexually harassed, we wouldn&amp;#039;t earn enough money to buy the jewelry from the company you wish to start. If you ever want women to achieve equal power, Miss Restless, you must fight this scoundrel with all your strength. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/q-and-a/a21479/ex-bad-boyfriend-who-is-now-your-boss/>