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"FacebookPinterest\n\nThis Rick Perry fella\u2014 he's got a nice air about him, dudn't he? Actually, I'm not sure that's the right word. Let's just say he's got an air about him, and that this air may or may not be \"nice.\" He's one of those six-footers who carry themselves a shoulder tug taller, with a swagger that makes George Bush look poncey. I like the way he'll stoop down on his haunches, stare you right in the skull, and tell you exactly what he thinks about evolution. (It's a theory, now ain't it?)\n\n Amazing the way he just jumped into the lame Republican field, and immediately shifted his weight around with an animal instinct, like a bullfrog thrown into a box of lawn toads. Or the way he swooped into Waterloo, Iowa, two days after the straw poll Michele \"Bright Eyes\" Bachmann had won, as if that little ol' thing didn't even matter, and he was right: It no longer mattered. From the moment I saw him, I thought: That guy is either going to be the Republican candidate or he is going to tar and feather the Fed chairman. Anything could happen, but I believe former front-runner Mitt Romney should commence cowering in his Docksides.\n\n Friends of mine\u2014and by friends I mean Northeast liberal-leaning softies who think \"clearing brush\" means what you do once a month to groom your naughties\u2014say that Perry's views are batshit crazy, \"out of the mainstream,\" and will be offensive to most Americans. You know, like when he said the Gulf oil spill might have been an \"act of God.\" They say he doesn't have a prayer. Of course just before going off to Iowa, he took care of that, staging a gigantic and freaky-feeling prayer vigil in Houston, where he looked tanned and Mexican-priesty, and cried out to God to forgive us, presumably for voting for Barack Hussein Obama, and where worshippers were told they were \"the body of Christ.\" (Heresy alert! As a raised Catholic, that's just weird. That would mean I would have to eat them.) But I imagine that, come primary time, a lot of GOP voters, hoping to extend a middle finger to Washington, will find that fat little finger in Perry's hand. Is he crazy? Who isn't these days? Those throw-the-bums-outers will love Perry's brand of craziness. He's like Ron Paul without the diapers.\n\n So to prepare for the End Days, I've been reading Perry's book, Fed Up!, and by chapter 3, I knew exactly how he felt. Is it possible to be fed up with being fed up? I feel that way. Anyway, I know so much about the Reverend Governor now. The guy's fed up in ways I never dreamed possible. Rick Perry does not like: lawyers, Progressives, pesky tas, protected species, Justice Kennedy, homo Boy Scouts, intoxicated aliens, the EPA, the Commerce Clause, \"the modern Democrat,\" this new health care law, printing money, having to \"kiss the ring of the Court,\" and any \"fiddling\" by the government (or fiddling with gay Boy Scouts).\n\n Rick Perry believes in: being \"passionate\" about America, oilmen, job creators (same diff), guns, Boy Scouts (loves those guys!), Eagle Scouts, innocent life, enumerated powers, getting government off your proverbial and literal back, Judge Bork, that drug-fighting Calder\u00F3n guy, all fifty states with the possible exception of Massachusetts, Ronald of Course Reagan, the phrase standing \"athwart history, yelling Stop\" (whatever that means), \"meddlesome\" people, and...did we mention Boy Scouts? They're awesome and they don't sit around like pansies selling cookies.\n\n Radical? Within the radicalized GOP, that's pretty mainstream stuff now. Add to that: If he wins the nomination, it'll set up a battle royal of masculinity, with two competing visions of manhood. His good ol' boy machismo will rattle against this sense that's starting to enter the popular imagination: that Obama is weak, a feeble negotiator, a Jimmy Carter.\n\n Where could he go wrong? He's an incredible glad-hander and a natural room warmer-upper, but when he has to stand accountable before the media, there's something simmering underneath, some contemptuous fuse, within lighting distance of High-Grade Annoyance. Remember that wincing look of imperial fatigue that George W. would shoot reporters when they asked him stupid questions like \"Why are we at war?\" Rick Perry had that on the second day of campaigning. A journalist asked him what he meant when he said the money-printing Fed chairman was guilty of treason\u2014reasonable Q\u2014and you could see this glare. It was like: Not this again! For a moment, it looked like the standoff could go any way, that if lawyers or activist judges or pesky meddlesome species-protecting albino homosexuals didn't exist, if he weren't bound by the goddamn Commerce Clause, he might just go postal on you.\n\n Mitt, Michele, Barack, America, you better watch your backs."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.gq.com/story/jim-nelson-october-2011>