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" All work and no play make the Johnsons a dull -- not to mention stressed-out -- duo. At least, that&amp;#039;s how David, 40, and Laura, 38, are starting to see it. The Blairsville, GA, couple, who began dating in 2000 and married two years ago, own and run a public relations and public affairs agency together in Atlanta. David founded the company in 2001, and despite some initial misgivings, Laura joined him six months later, leaving her job as a website analyst. Being their own bosses has its perks: David has the luxury of putting in a one- to two-hour workout each day because he knows he can make up the hours; and when her father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last year, Laura was able to take a leave of absence &amp;quot;and not feel guilty about it,&amp;quot; she says.  But shared business ownership has its downsides. For starters, it delayed the couple&amp;#039;s wedding by several years. &amp;quot;We planned it three different times!&amp;quot; Laura says. &amp;quot;Our main focus was getting the business flowing and functioning, so we kept pushing the wedding off.&amp;quot; When the pair finally tied the knot in December 2005, work responsibilities even intruded on their honeymoon: They picked a nearby destination, delayed their trip by a day when the opportunity to woo a new client arose, and fielded work-related calls during the trip. In fact, the last vacation the pair took besides their honeymoon was the summer before David started the business. &amp;quot;Since then, we have not stopped,&amp;quot; Laura admits. &amp;quot;The job never leaves our lives and we live it 24/7, even when we&amp;#039;re not sitting at our desks.&amp;quot; That leaves the couple with little time for relaxing, socializing -- or each other. What&amp;#039;s more, the business has caused them to delay starting a family: David and Laura both want to have children, but they have no idea how they&amp;#039;d balance family and work demands. &amp;quot;We don&amp;#039;t have enough hours in the day to talk about critical life decisions,&amp;quot; says David. The Johnsons are as much married to their business as they are to each other -- a common situation for spouses who are co-entrepreneurs, says couples therapist Jane Greer, Ph.D., a REDBOOK Love Network expert and author of Gridlock: Finding the Courage to Move On in Love, Work, and Life. &amp;quot;David and Laura need to draw a line in the sand between their business and their marriage,&amp;quot; Greer says. &amp;quot;By not redirecting energy back into their relationship, they run the risk of becoming simply coworkers, and losing the spark of passion and romance that will keep their marriage alive. CONFLICT FLASHPOINT:  Letting work spill into home life Most mornings, David is hard at work by 8. In the evenings, he and Laura usually fire up their computers after dinner, emailing clients and brainstorming marketing strategies for the business -- often until as late as 11. On weekends they try to fit in workouts and run errands, &amp;quot;but eventually end up on our computers,&amp;quot; Laura says. &amp;quot;And Sunday nights end up being a work night, too.&amp;quot;  Demanding clients are part of the problem, as is the round-the-clock nature of the PR business, but the Johnsons have done little to set limits. &amp;quot;Those of our clients who know that we own the business together feel they can get ahold of us at any time,&amp;quot; David says. And he and Laura are reluctant to appear unavailable -- and risk losing the accounts they&amp;#039;ve worked so hard to win. It&amp;#039;s little wonder then that work is the central focus of their conversations. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s frustrating,&amp;quot; Laura admits. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s rare that we talk about anything else. There&amp;#039;s no, &amp;#039;How was your day, dear?&amp;#039; because I already know.&amp;quot; Working side by side has also taken a toll on their sex life. &amp;quot;When you&amp;#039;ve been around this person all day long,&amp;quot; Laura admits, &amp;quot;sometimes the last thing you want to do is cuddle.&amp;quot;  THE EXPERT&amp;#039;S ADVICE Put boundaries in place. David and Laura must make a conscious commitment to stop letting their business rule their lives, says Greer. To start, the Johnsons first need to create short- and long-term business plans that let them know how many clients and how much revenue they need to keep their company going. This will help focus their efforts -- and tame their anxiety. Then they need to set clear boundaries with their clients. &amp;quot;Tell people when you are available and when you can be reached for emergencies,&amp;quot; Greer says. &amp;quot;That way, you&amp;#039;re on call, but you control it.&amp;quot; Being prepared with a script at the ready can help the couple maintain their resolve when they are hit with off-hours calls. &amp;quot;Keep it positive,&amp;quot; Greer says. &amp;quot;End with, &amp;#039;Here&amp;#039;s when I can call you back.&amp;#039;&amp;quot; And David and Laura should help police each other to make sure they&amp;#039;re not falling into the trap of taking client calls during leisure time. The couple also needs to schedule meetings for two, whether it&amp;#039;s once a week for an hour or every day for 15 minutes, to discuss the work issues that tend to follow them home. By setting a regular, specific time to unload their business concerns -- and agreeing not to discuss them at other times, like over breakfast -- they&amp;#039;ll free up time and energy to devote to their relationship. CONFLICT FLASHPOINT:  A dwindling social life With their intense schedules, David and Laura have little time or energy left over for the activities that they once enjoyed, like traveling and trivia nights. &amp;quot;We used to share new experiences with each other,&amp;quot; Laura says wistfully, recalling a vacation the pair took to Graceland and the St. Louis Gateway Arch. &amp;quot;I miss that.&amp;quot; And forget about socializing with other couples. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s hard enough for us to make time for each other, let alone friends,&amp;quot; Laura says, adding that her girls&amp;#039; nights now happen about once every six months, instead of several times a month. David&amp;#039;s get-togethers with the guys have also largely fallen by the wayside -- and as a result, some of their couple friendships have faltered, too. &amp;quot;I definitely miss hanging out with other couples,&amp;quot; David says. &amp;quot;We just don&amp;#039;t have as much time as we used to for the fun things.&amp;quot;  When the Johnsons do make an effort to go out, work comes along for the ride. Just a few weeks ago the two were on their way to see a movie when a client called and then texted them with an urgent message. Because the PR business is one where client needs can arise at all hours, David and Laura know that such calls are often inevitable. But the &amp;quot;urgent&amp;quot; message was simply a new idea that the client wanted to discuss. &amp;quot;We missed the first 15 minutes of the movie because we had to pull over!&amp;quot; David fumes. &amp;quot;It put us both in a bad mood for the rest of the evening.&amp;quot; During a movie he and Laura will often find themselves comparing the characters in the film to their clients. &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;re thinking and talking about the business even when we&amp;#039;re trying to relax,&amp;quot; David says. THE EXPERT&amp;#039;S ADVICE Pencil in couple time on the calendar. &amp;quot;Without a social life, couples can easily wind up feeling bored with each other, as well as losing touch with themselves individually,&amp;quot; Greer says. If work is their only means of connecting, the Johnsons risk erasing their intimate couple bond, which is built through the shared experiences and interests that brought them together in the first place.  David and Laura need to prioritize date nights the same way they prioritize client meetings. &amp;quot;Preserving your playtime will reenergize your emotional connection,&amp;quot; Greer says. Setting a regularly scheduled, no-breaking-it date night -- say, every Wednesday -- will help the couple get in the habit of shutting down the office and turning off their cell phones and BlackBerrys for the evening. Then, once they&amp;#039;ve been able to share some couple time, they can start adding in friends with more girls&amp;#039; and guys&amp;#039; nights out, as well as occasional double dates with other couples. And going out with friends isn&amp;#039;t just a good time; it will also provide grist for the mill for nonwork conversations and consequently strengthen their interaction and their intimacy, adds Greer. CONFLICT FLASHPOINT:  Putting off what matters most Thanks to their demanding business, David and Laura live in the present, so much so that they&amp;#039;ve put other big dreams and plans -- like starting a family, taking a vacation to Eastern Europe, and discussing their goals for retirement -- on hold indefinitely. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s hard to think about the future,&amp;quot; says David. &amp;quot;Usually we&amp;#039;re forecasting for the company rather than ourselves.&amp;quot;  The couple says they never intended to wait so long to start a family, but one year turned into two, and two to four...and they&amp;#039;re just now starting to talk about it. &amp;quot;Our ages were a wake-up call,&amp;quot; Laura says. &amp;quot;All of a sudden we went, &amp;#039;Whoa, it&amp;#039;s now or never.&amp;#039;&amp;quot; But issues like how many kids to have, how to manage the business with a baby, and how they&amp;#039;ll afford a family are still tough to hammer out.  THE EXPERT&amp;#039;S ADVICE Formalize a plan. David and Laura &amp;quot;are so overwhelmed that they&amp;#039;re in survival mode,&amp;quot; Greer says. &amp;quot;But their single-minded focus on work is also a way to avoid moving forward in other areas and growing beyond what they can handle.&amp;quot; And while the couple has always been in agreement about their work-at-all-costs lifestyle, Greer sees trouble ahead if they don&amp;#039;t start prioritizing nonbusiness goals. &amp;quot;They&amp;#039;re going to eventually start to feel empty, resentful, and angry,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;That will ultimately create distance and corrode intimacy.&amp;quot;  Since they agree they want to start a family, David and Laura need to take concrete steps to implement that plan, Greer says. That means sitting down together and putting on paper what their shared vision for the future looks like. They should also check in with each other regularly to discuss their dreams -- as well as their disappointments -- in order to stay connected.  The well-honed professional skills that have made David and Laura&amp;#039;s business such a success -- namely, their dedication and ability to work well as a team -- can help make their marriage stronger, too. And if their life can be a stimulating, sexy balance of work and play? Well, there&amp;#039;s nothing dull about that. THE COUPLE&amp;#039;S REACTION LAURA: &amp;quot;After talking with Dr. Greer, we decided to use an extra cell phone we have for an after-hours number in the case of an emergency for our clients. And recently we left our cell phones at home and went to a local festival together. We took the whole day off and really enjoyed it -- it was like we were free. David and I are finally talking more about our future -- not just the company&amp;#039;s.&amp;quot;  DAVID: &amp;quot;Laura and I are putting together a guide for our clients that will be a resource for them to go to when they have a general question about their account, which would alleviate many simple questions that we&amp;#039;re bombarded with every time we get a new client. This will definitely help us devote time to more important issues as well as free up personal time. Also, we&amp;#039;ve been talking about starting a family a lot more, and discussing how we can balance a family with the business, both financially and emotionally.&amp;quot; David: &amp;quot;Since we talked with Dr. Greer, separating the work side of our life from the rest of our life has improved dramatically. We are now making a concerted effort to keep the two entirely separate and have been able to complete numerous around-the-house projects that we had started over a year ago but kept being delayed because we were not able to get the time away from our work on weekends. We both feel much better about that and have drawn closer too in being able to do these things together free from the pressures of clients calling us at all hours on our weekends. Like anything new however, there are things that still need to be worked out. Now instead of Laura and I getting all of our clients&amp;#039; calls at all hours of the weekend, our employees are fielding calls at least two weekends a month, and we&amp;#039;re all having to draw boundaries and stricter attitudes in how we deal with these clients. Our employees are seeing firsthand what Laura and I have dealt with for years. Although there are always the clients who will not take talking with anyone else than Laura and I, and will actually hunt us down if we do not answer our calls on these weekends. We had one client actually call directory assistance and got our home number in order to speak with Laura and me. After we realized who it was, we were firm but insisted that he had to deal with our employee and he could not call our house.  We also have been setting up at least one day a week\u2014usually a Tuesday\u2014when we make a date night and escape from the problems of the day. We usually use the night for movies or dining out. We both have been carving more time out socially and have reconnected with friends and activities that had gone by the wayside because we were dealing with work almost 24/7.  And we have started making plans for a family, but they are still at the beginning stages, as we have just really begun reclaiming our life.&amp;quot;  Laura: &amp;quot;After talking about how to make changes for our personal lives from work, we&amp;#039;ve made a persistent effort to gain back our weekends\u2014without interruptions. While the laptops still go home with us, I haven&amp;#039;t even opened mine up the past two weekends. Instead, we&amp;#039;ve taken that time and worked on house projects together. David still kept an eye on his emails for emergency purposes but it was brief and usually early in the morning and then again late in the afternoon. Our weeknights have also had changes in that the laptops don&amp;#039;t break out until after dinner and even then only for a short time. We are really trying to focus on bringing personal time back into our lives once leaving the office and talk of clients after hours is kept to a minimum. We have even volunteered our time together with some upcoming community events and are looking forward to spending time with friends who are doing the same.&amp;quot; DOES YOUR MARRIAGE NEED A MAKEOVER? Write us at marriagemakeover@redbookmag.com and tell us why. You could be chosen to appear in REDBOOK! "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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