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"  As a child, I dreaded the day after Christmas because of all the thank-you letters I would have to write. On Christmas morning, a box of carefully wrapped note cards with matching envelopes masqueraded as a &amp;quot;present&amp;quot; in my stocking\u2014my mother&amp;#039;s not so subtle reminder of the task that lay ahead. My sister and I would protest: &amp;quot;Thank-you notes are old-fashioned!&amp;quot; Our mother&amp;#039;s response was always the same: &amp;quot;Really? Well then, presents are old-fashioned.&amp;quot; It wasn&amp;#039;t as easy as a dashed-off &amp;quot;Thanks!&amp;quot; either. According to my mother, a good thank-you note includes the five elements. (1) Thanking the person for the gift, (2) describing what it will be used for and why you are especially grateful for it, (3) making a reference to a recent event in the person&amp;#039;s life (&amp;quot;I hope your trip to Biarritz was wonderful&amp;quot;), (4) mentioning something positive that is going on in your life (&amp;quot;We have had the most enjoyable Christmas here in Palm Beach&amp;quot;), never overusing the pronoun &amp;quot;I&amp;quot;, and (5) thanking the person again for the thoughtful present and telling them that you hoped to see them soon. Proper and prompt thank-you letters were particularly important for my grandmother Biscus. &amp;quot;Biscus&amp;quot; was a nickname given to her as a child, an allusion to the proboscis monkey, which, like her, was known for its prominent nose. (She described her nose as &amp;quot;aristocratic&amp;quot; and liked it so much that she insisted Salvador Dal\u00ED paint her in profile when she commissioned him to do her portrait in 1955.) Biscus&amp;#039;s talent for thank-you notes had been honed in childhood; she considered it an integral part of a young lady&amp;#039;s education. It wasn&amp;#039;t until my sister and I could sit properly at a table and have a conversation that my grandmother, who lived most of her life in France, took a practical and honest interest in us. I vividly remember her telling me, &amp;quot;My dear Sammy, you are far too short, and your nose is far too wide. Better posture and clever shading can correct these.&amp;quot;  To Biscus, appearance and decorum were of the utmost importance. Chewing gum was coarse; she likened it to a cow chewing its cud. Eating, drinking, and smoking on the street were dismissed as unnecessary and &amp;quot;so American.&amp;quot; Furniture should be black lacquer or painted\u2014brown furniture was &amp;quot;so ordinary.&amp;quot; Children should never wear dark colors. The only acceptable jewelry was yellow gold; anything else she considered vulgar. Pants should only be worn in the country. With the exception of a simple wedding band, she believed that rings belonged on the pinkie finger and should be stacked to the knuckle. At the end of each day, her beloved lady&amp;#039;s maid, Cl\u00E9mence, was charged with washing her coins with soap and water and ironing the French francs before placing them in her bag. As she aged, her sense of style never wavered. When her gait became unsteady she used carved canes with ormolu tops. When a nasty fall landed her in the ICU, she accessorized the Juicy tracksuits we bought for her to wear to physical therapy with gold jewelry and pointy shoes that looked like heels. After she died, my mother went through her things. Among other keepsakes (like a photograph of my 11-year-old mother teaching Biscus&amp;#039;s dear friend the Duke of Windsor &amp;quot;the twist&amp;quot; in the living room of Villa Windsor, his Bois de Boulogne home), she had saved a thank-you note I wrote after Christmas in 1991. In her unmistakable handwriting she had scribbled a little note in blue felt-tip pen: &amp;quot;Dear letter from Sammy.&amp;quot; Thank-you notes aren&amp;#039;t just about good manners\u2014they&amp;#039;re about genuine connections and appreciation. Recent psychological studies have shown that gratitude is linked to reduced anxiety and depression, improved sleep, higher life satisfaction, and better overall health. But even beyond all that, I never could have imagined how grateful I would be for having written that note. Samanta Boardman is the founder of PositivePrescription.com  "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a1204/the-art-of-gratitude/>