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"Next week, we sit down with the mediator again and try to hash out some more items on the &amp;quot;get this divorce over with, already&amp;quot; list. I&amp;#039;m looking forward to it about as much as I would unanesthetized root canal, particularly after some of the email exchanges Peter and I had after the last session. It just has to be gotten through. It just has to be gotten through. That&amp;#039;s my new personal mantra. I will get through it and it will be done.  In the meantime, I have an issue facing me. Peter was very quick to bring up that he has always been prompt with his child support, always paid half of the babysitter bill, he buys the kids clothes, etc., as an illustration of how much he does and he shouldn&amp;#039;t have to pay a penny more because he does it. I&amp;#039;ve mentioned to him before that being the primary custodial parent comes with lots of costs that I just don&amp;#039;t tally on a daily basis. Birthday party for a friend this weekend? Who do you think is buying that gift and paying to put gas in the car and drive the kid to the party and back? School Picture day and you just remembered? Guess who&amp;#039;s writing a check to put in a backpack? And then there&amp;#039;s the little $1, $5 and $10 things all over the place - pretzel day at school, invited to the movies by a friend, school projects that I have to buy items for, and a hundred other things that all fall on my watch so I get to pay for them. Sometimes I remember to ask him for the money, sometimes I don&amp;#039;t. Sometimes I remember but he&amp;#039;s in a foul mood when I see him and I&amp;#039;m honestly afraid to ask. I&amp;#039;m also the one who gives up my vacation time every time there&amp;#039;s a sick kid or a snow day. He lives in another state, so all of that falls on me. I probably lose about a week of my vacation time every year, due to his moving away. I can&amp;#039;t even add that in. So my question is this: Do I start keeping a running tally and present him a list? If so, I want it written into the decree that I will do so and how often I will do so and he will pay his share of that. I&amp;#039;m tired of him acting like I&amp;#039;m asking for the moon when I&amp;#039;m only asking him to pay for things he would certainly be paying for if he were still here.  The downside of this course of action is that he&amp;#039;s likely to get really defensive and consider that to be extremely petty of me. I don&amp;#039;t really care much what he thinks of me, but if it&amp;#039;s going to get his back up and make him fight me on other things just to feel like he&amp;#039;s winning, it may not be worth it.  What do you think? Does it seem spiteful or prudent to you? [Follow Ellie on Twitter and Facebook] "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/a48175/thorough-or-petty/>