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" From Esquire writer Chris Jones:    1. A story I think about surprisingly often: I grew up in the country, and so we had a septic tank. \u2014 Chris Jones (@MySecondEmpire) November 7, 2013       2. I&amp;#039;ll spare you the gory details, but one day that tank loudly reveals itself to be full. Guy comes to pump it out. \u2014 Chris Jones (@MySecondEmpire) November 7, 2013       3. He digs down to the cement hatch with the rusted handle, lifts it out\u2014my dad and I are watching this for some reason, by the way\u2014 \u2014 Chris Jones (@MySecondEmpire) November 7, 2013       4. And there is this unholy vat of everything nature can&amp;#039;t break down: hair, corn, and, in my mind&amp;#039;s eye, hundreds of condoms. \u2014 Chris Jones (@MySecondEmpire) November 7, 2013       5. My dad, then the father of three teenagers, goes pale. It was an uncomfortable backyard moment between us. \u2014 Chris Jones (@MySecondEmpire) November 7, 2013       6. The septic tank guy decides to tell a story about the divorce he caused the same way: the telltale septic tank jellyfish. \u2014 Chris Jones (@MySecondEmpire) November 7, 2013       7. The lessons of that day? There are great stories literally buried in the ground. And country people shouldn&amp;#039;t have safe sex. \u2014 Chris Jones (@MySecondEmpire) November 7, 2013    You can follow him here. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/news/a25769/lessons-from-septic-tanks/>