<http://schema.org/articleBody>
" I&amp;#039;m a little embarrassed to admit this, but it&amp;#039;s been a long time since I&amp;#039;ve had my lady jungle taken care of. It&amp;#039;s not like it&amp;#039;s totally out of control, but it could definitely use he TLC of a waxer. I&amp;#039;ve been putting it off\u2014it means taking half an hour off work, dropping at least $50, and suffering as hot wax is poured on my most sensitive skin then ripped off. Hey, can you really blame me? I&amp;#039;ve been taking care of the situation on my own, but it&amp;#039;s just not the same. And this morning as I was getting dressed in front of D. I caught him eyeing the area. Now maybe I was just being paranoid, but I could almost mind-read him going, Ehhhh. Or could it be that he was digging my untamed look? Hmm, somehow I doubt it. I&amp;#039;m the first to admit that sometimes I get a little too comfy with D. But this had gone too far. So I made an appointment to turn my jungle into a barren field for 3pm. And I just couldn&amp;#039;t wait for D. to see. In the meantime, I flipped through my copy of Kama Sutra and considered the few positions that are left. I decided Head Game would be the perfect one to introduce D. to my spruced up ladyparts. What I didn&amp;#039;t take into account is that this position is hard. Like, really hard. And all I could think was: If I break a bone, how will I explain it? Could I quickly come up with some story for the ER doc about how I was trying some sort of new naked yoga trend? OK, maybe the difficulty had something to do with the fact that D. and I did this on the bed, not on the floor. And he was practically hitting the ceiling, not to mention having trouble keeping his balance on the mattress. (I don&amp;#039;t know what we were thinking.) Anyway, we started in missionary with him kneeling between my legs. (&amp;quot;Oooh,&amp;quot; he said when I spread my legs. &amp;quot;Someone got a haircut.&amp;quot; Oh. My. God. Did he really say that? Why do guys think it&amp;#039;s appropriate or cute to make comments like that?) As soon as I starting moaning and making I-like-this noises, D. took it as a cue to move forward. (Does your guy do this? Wait for you to show you&amp;#039;re into a position then move on to the next one? It&amp;#039;s like they&amp;#039;re hard-wired to want a reaction out of you every step of the way and the won&amp;#039;t move on till they get it.) He slowly stood up, taking my legs with him, which made me feel more like a rag doll than a sexpot. I did as the book recommended and used my hands to support my lower back. I was still sort of straddling his torso, but my legs kept sliding down. Eventually D. hoisted them up onto his shoulder, but that just made him fall out. We went through the motions again, but either my legs wouldn&amp;#039;t stay up or he would slip out. Finally we found something that semi-worked. I scooched a little farther away from him bend my knees and placed my feet near his shoulders. He held my waist and I supported myself with my forearms. (Ie, rather than our bodies being parallel to each other, he was straight up-and-down and my body was forming a 45 degree angle between him and the bed. Phew! My middle school math teacher was right\u2014that info did come in handy at unexpected moments!) D. was able to thrust without losing contact, but it was just too much work and neither of us were able to really enjoy it. We switched back to D. kneeling and my on my back. He finished, I didn&amp;#039;t. But at least he made me forget his earlier haircut comment: as we were laying in bed, spooning afterwards, he kissed my neck and said, &amp;quot;You have a hot vagina.&amp;quot; Hey, it&amp;#039;s not everyday I get that compliment, so I&amp;#039;ll take what I can get. Do you ever get lazy about taking care of your bikini line? Do you ever get &amp;quot;lazy in love&amp;quot; in other ways? And what&amp;#039;s the most ridiculous thing a guy has ever said to you in bed? "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a5430/77-positions-day-seventy-three/>