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"  Squirting!! Squirting? Bueller?   My best friend regularly obsesses about her boyfriend&amp;#039;s ex-girlfriend, who was a &amp;quot;squirter,&amp;quot; and therefore the real-life incarnate of many men&amp;#039;s fantasy partner. Porn has encouraged men to believe that when they&amp;#039;ve truly rocked a woman&amp;#039;s body, it starts doing an impression of the Bellagio Fountain in the second-to-last scene of Ocean&amp;#039;s Eleven.   The average woman, myself included, doesn&amp;#039;t know whether squirting is real or fake beyond your standard urban legends, like, &amp;quot;Ashley&amp;#039;s friend&amp;#039;s ex&amp;#039;s friend&amp;#039;s aunt&amp;#039;s babysitter&amp;#039;s college roommate squirts,&amp;quot; which does not count. So, like the installment in the classic girl&amp;#039;s mystery series entitled Nancy Drew and the Case Of Projectile Vaginal Excretions, I sleuthed with the help of a number of experts in order to solve the mystery. Ian Kerner, sexual health expert and The New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man&amp;#039;s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman,] says that involuntary squirting is the Loch Ness Monster of sex. In other words, an unverifiable legend.   Female ejaculation is not uncommon in the average woman, says Kerner. A small amount of whitish and milky fluid that&amp;#039;s produced during or just before orgasm, its contents are different than the natural lubrication produced when sexually stimulated. It has a tiny bit of momentum, but it doesn&amp;#039;t shoot out.   On the other hand, &amp;quot;squirting&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;gushing&amp;quot; \u2014 copious amounts of fluid that shoot out of the woman at the same time as her supposed orgasm \u2014 is actually caused by a deliberate manipulation by the woman of her own body, specifically an intense bearing down on the pelvis, according to Kerner. Basically, a forceful clench and release of the bladder. When the contents of this fluid have been analyzed, it&amp;#039;s actually \u2014 yes \u2014 closer to pee than it is to female ejaculate. While porn frames squirting as a &amp;quot;reward&amp;quot; for the male partner&amp;#039;s pleasuring ability \u2014 supposedly depicting a woman who has been pleasured to the point of losing control of herself \u2014 the reality it&amp;#039;s actually the opposite, pointed out Kerner.   Squirting has nothing to do with the intensity of the orgasm. In fact, the women who do it are likely more focused on fulfilling the sexual fantasies of their male sex partners than actually enjoying an orgasm. Many sex therapists actually think that straining to squirt can ultimately damage the pelvic muscles, said Kerner. &amp;quot;When you think about it, an orgasm is an involuntary process. Regardless of what happens during sex, orgasms are unconscious and involve relaxing and letting go.&amp;quot; Kerner warned me that if I asked people in the adult industry, they&amp;#039;d likely claim otherwise, given that squirting is a moneymaker for them. But porn director Billy Watson, who also writes a blog called I Shoot Porn (NSFW), is willing to admit (in colorful language) that he&amp;#039;s come to no conclusions about squirting.   &amp;quot;I have no fucking clue,&amp;quot; Watson told me. &amp;quot;I wish I did. Female ejaculate is a fucking mystery to me. I&amp;#039;ve see it happen all sorts of times \u2014 usually when [the male actor] has a really big wiener. Once, [an actress] squirted a ton on my set (she was one of the best at that trick) and I immediately stuck my nose in it \u2014 not literally \u2014 and sniffed. Not a hint of urine smell at all! But then I&amp;#039;ll have Porno Princesses tell me that they&amp;#039;re pissing, and squirt doesn&amp;#039;t exist, and it&amp;#039;s all BS.&amp;quot;   Tara Lynn Fox, one of the porn actresses he&amp;#039;s worked with, confirmed that gushing, in porn \u2014 the extreme version of squirting \u2014 is often smoke and mirrors. And douches.   While shooting a scene for a squirting fetish site, Fox couldn&amp;#039;t seem to do it naturally, so (in her words, via email), &amp;quot;the director filled up a bunch of douches with water and had me lay on my back and started filling me up! Then as soon as he thought there was enough he threw the bottle out of sight and hit record \u2014 and ferociously started rubbing my clit to make it look believable.&amp;quot;   Nevertheless, Fox says that squirting is real \u2014 rare and difficult to accomplish, but real. She said that she has squirted on set before, but off-camera. During a brief break, in order to stay hard, the male performer went down on Fox, and she had an orgasm: &amp;quot;He told me it was just a little squirt, but I did it. It wasn&amp;#039;t a big mess or anything.&amp;quot; Granted, I&amp;#039;m not a professional at this, but Fox&amp;#039;s experience sounds like a female ejaculation, which means that the issue of &amp;quot;female ejaculation v. squirting v. gushing&amp;quot; is also a semantic one. Because this needed to be more complicated.   Ultimately, the &amp;quot;squirting&amp;quot; myth has been damaging for both men and women.&amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve had one girlfriend in my private life who was embarrassed about her &amp;#039;squirting problem,&amp;#039; and this was before I got into porn. I never did make her squirt. Maybe that&amp;#039;s because I&amp;#039;m Mr. Average Ween,&amp;quot; Billy Watson, the porn director, told me wistfully. Nobody benefits from the concept of squirting as the mark of ultimate female sexual gratification \u2014 and a gold star for the men trying to please us \u2014 because Failure To Squirt makes some guys as well as some women feel inferior. Peeing the bed is not sexy.   Follow Anna on Twitter.   Via Getty "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a5085/squirting-sex-realness/>