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"FacebookPinterest\n\nJeff Goldblum is a people person, and that is a drastic understatement. One of his favorite things to do with people is tell them which other person they resemble. The first time I witness this happen, I'm waiting for him at a corner table near the hostess station at Chateau Marmont. \"You know who you look like?\" I catch him asking the hostess. \"Amanda Plummer's mother. Oh! What was her name?\" He hits his head in mock frustration. \"Tammy Grimes! A young, beautiful Tammy Grimes!\" Unfortunately the hostess, along with most people who don't share Jeff Goldblum's prodigious knowledge of film history, has no idea who this is. \"People say I look like Sandra Bullock?\" she offers, conciliatory. Jeff Goldblum doesn't accept this. \"Tammy Grimes! She was a wonderful stage actor, married Christopher Plummer, and then...,\" he continues, racking his brain for Grimes facts.\n\nDON'T MISS THIS\n\nFacebookPinterestundefined\n\nFacebookPinterestundefined\n\nFacebookPinterestundefined\n\nBecause a story about a 61-year-old man telling a young restaurant worker that she looks like a famous gorgeous person has certain connotations, let's state clearly that Jeff Goldblum doesn't come across as a skeeveball. But he is a flirt. In the most innocuous way imaginable. It's like he loves humanity so much, he can't help but coo over it. The next night, I went to watch Goldblum play piano with his jazz band, the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra, which he's been doing around Los Angeles for about fifteen years, and it became evident that the \"You're a Young, Beautiful So-and-So\" game with his audience is basically a trademarked Goldblumism:\n\nYes, you look like\u2014I've got one, I've got a pretty good one\u2014I say a young, beautiful Jennifer Jason Leigh! Look her up, because I think I'm right! A young, beautiful Lisa Kudrow over there. Okay, just a second: Oh, you're a young, beautiful Seth Rogen! Thank you! Oh, and you\u2014Adam Sandler! A young, handsome Adam Sandler! I'll keep working on you. Okay, just a second. It's coming to me. You see him? Who? Who? Beethoven the dog? Who said that? A big slobbering dog? No, no, no. Woof, woof. Wladimir Klitschko! A young, handsome Wladimir Klitschko. Who do people tell you? Hugh Jackman, interesting! Well, maybe.\n\nYou can actually hear Jeff Goldblum saying that, right? That familiar manic, super-smart, self-interrupting patter? Jeff Goldblum, it turns out, is the most Jeff Goldblum-y person on the planet. The man has played nearly a hundred roles\u2014from an alien in Earth Girls Are Easy to a human-insect hybrid in The Fly to (most recently) an ecuted legal ecutor in The Grand Budapest Hotel\u2014and in every one of them there is an unmistakable Goldblum-ness present, even when he's pretending to be someone other than Jeff Goldblum. So much so that it actually feels weird to call him anything besides Jeff Goldblum. (Mr. Goldblum? Jeff? No. Goldy? Maybe.) He's so indelibly himself that word has it he once pissed off Steven Spielberg by accidentally improvising the same line\u2014\"Must go faster!\"\u2014in both 1993's Jurassic Park (hightailing a Jeep away from an encroaching T. rex) and 1996's Independence Day (hightailing a spaceship away from encroaching alien spaceships). And it explains why, when you meet Jeff Goldblum for the first time, he is almost exactly whom you imagine him to be. Like a Jewish version of the Dos Equis man. Like a young, beautiful Jeff Goldblum.\n\nOn the morning of our breakfast, Jeff Goldblum is looking tan in an off-white blazer, tailored navy slacks, and a woven fedora. It's the kind of outfit that says, \"I live in Miami and move kilos of cocaine every day.\" Except for the shoes. His Nike sneakers remind me of the ones my dad wears to mow the lawn. Goldblum is wearing them because he walked here. He loves being in good cardiovascular health: \"It's the little things\u2014taking the stairs, parking the car far away\u2014that count.\" He lifts his shirt over his belly button (Jeff Goldblum has an innie, by the way\u2014phew) and shows me the Fitbit hooked discreetly to the waist of his pants. It's 10 A.M., and so far today he has taken 2,000 steps. He aims for 11,000 to 12,000 every day.\n\n\"It took me seven minutes to get here,\" he says. \"I left just a minute late, so I had to hurry. Punctuality is my middle name! That would be a good name for a child, wouldn't it?\"\n\nPunctuality?\n\n\"Punctuality Goldblum!\" he says with a twinkle in his eye. Jeff Goldblum's eyes are perpetually twinkling.\n\n\"But what if Punctuality Goldblum was always late?\" I ask him.\n\n\"Yes, I suppose...,\" he thinks aloud. \"Just like you can't say Chastity, in case they aren't... Or Gluttony. Nobody names a child Gluttony or Sloth Goldblum.\"\n\nThis fixation with baby names begs the question: Is Jeff Goldblum thinking about having a little Goldblum? Twice divorced, he currently lives with his 31-year-old gymnast fianc\u00E9e, Emilie.\n\n\"No,\" he says, but then his eye twinkles again. \"But, you know, they are cute, aren't they?\"\n\nThe closest Jeff Goldblum has to a baby at the moment is an 11-month-old red-haired poodle named Woody Allen Goldblum. \"Woody Allen,\" he says, referring to the human, not the poodle, \"was originally reddish, I believe\u2014kind of freckly and red-y.\" During the day, Jeff and Woody (the poodle) go on long walks together\u2014it helps Goldblum reach his step count\u2014and those walks sometimes end in naps. \"He's gotten to be a very good partner in bed. He's very delightfully loving, soulful, tactile, sensual... Yesterday, I must say, I took a nap with him\u2014we're evolving more and more in closeness and bonding, and we took a midday, the two of us. Well, to tell the truth, he was already taking a little siesta, and I kind of arranged myself close nearby. We were, you know, together. Cuddling.\"\n\nA conversation with Jeff Goldblum feels a little like a Disneyland ride in that it's (a) good clean fun, but also (b) full of twists and turns. Except this particular ride tends to let you off ten miles from where you got on. At some point during our breakfast, a young, beautiful Jessica Biel sits down at the table next to us. As in: the actual Jessica Biel. Jeff Goldblum gets up, and they hug and exchange niceties for half a minute or so. Then, unexpectedly, he extends his arm, Vanna White-style, toward me: \"Jessica! Of course you know Lauren?\" Jessica Biel and I do not know each other. Or rather: I know of Jessica Biel, but there is no reason Jessica Biel should know of me. \"No, I don't believe so...,\" she says, a tad confused but very gracious. \"But you're both young women!\" Jeff Goldblum exclaims, like it makes all the sense in the world.\n\nJeff Goldblum wasn't always like this. Just kidding, of course he was. Jeff Goldblum-ness is something you're born with, not something you learn. He grew up in Pittsburgh in the 1960s, the son of a doctor, and every morning as a teenager he would write \"Please, God, let me be an actor\" with his finger on the steamed-up shower door, then erase it frantically before stepping out. Acting, it seems, is the only thing he isn't carefree and whimsical about. \"I am, as you may have heard, meticulous about preparation,\" he says. We run through his movies. For The Fly, he captured a house fly in a plastic bag and studied it for weeks. Before doing Adam Resurrected, he asked director Paul Schrader to make a list of movies for him to watch. Schrader gave him sixty; he watched all of them.\n\nA moment later, Jeff Goldblum notices that I'm wearing an engagement ring. He grabs my hand and purrs. It's such a long and perfectly trilled emanation that the person who will later transcribe the audio recording of our interview writes it down as \"[veritably purrs].\"\n\n\"I love that little thing!\" Goldblum exclaims. \"Who's this Moses of yours? I should be crying. But I love his taste in rings. I'm opposed to the...\"\n\nJeff Goldblum scrunches his nose and rolls his eyes back into his head.\n\nBlood diamonds?\n\nHe sort of nods. \"I like something...modest, un-bling-y, anti-bourgeois, should we say? More bohemian, artist.\"\n\nHe asks me what my plans are for \"the big amazing thing.\" Somehow, though, we end up sidetracked by a conversation about Ingmar Bergman's Persona for ten minutes. Then Jeff Goldblum circles back. \"Oh! I'd like to be there\u2014at your wedding, if that's all right\u2014and sing 'We've Only Just Begun' by the Carpenters. Do you know that song?\"\n\nHe sings it: \"We've only just begun to live / White lace and promises / A kiss for luck and we're on our way. I will have baby's breath in my hair. And I'll be wearing peach. Something peach-colored, if that's okay with you.\"\n\nLAUREN BANS is a regular GQ contributor"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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