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"When it comes to performing oral sex, it can be as helpful knowing what not to do as what you should be doing. With some help from my friends, here&amp;amp;#8217;s a definitive guide of what to avoid when you&amp;amp;#8217;re going down: 1. Grip is wrong &amp;amp;#8220;A BJ is an HJ with lips and love,&amp;amp;#8221; says my friend Terrence, a bartender and guitar player, with no small amount of experience when it comes to this topic (If getting head is magic, this guy is Dumbledore). If your hand skills are good enough, you barely have to use your lips. You can basically breathe on it and he&amp;amp;#8217;ll come. So learn how he likes to be jerked off. Every guy is different, so you&amp;amp;#8217;ll have to adjust to his length, width, lack or excess of skin, desired pressure, etc. My advice: get him to show you how he does it. 2. Grip is too soft Speaking of adjusting, you&amp;amp;#8217;re giving a handjob, not lazily churning butter. &amp;amp;#8220;It&amp;amp;#8217;s called &amp;amp;#8216;jerking off&amp;amp;#8217; for a reason,&amp;amp;#8221; says Michael, a college student. He&amp;amp;#8217;s right: There is force involved. As long as your grip is reasonably close to the mark, you don&amp;amp;#8217;t have to worry about hurting him, especially when lots of saliva is involved (it&amp;amp;#8217;s lube). 3.Teeth There is no &amp;amp;#8220;right amount&amp;amp;#8221; of teeth. It works the same as when he&amp;amp;#8217;s going down on you: his teeth should not be involved in the mouth+spit+tongue+clit/pressure equation. That&amp;amp;#8217;s just bad math. 4. Feigning interest &amp;amp;#8220;If I think she&amp;amp;#8217;s not having a good time, I&amp;amp;#8217;m not having a good time,&amp;amp;#8221; says my friend Sean, a sensitive banker who likes to know that the woman performing oral on him is as happy about it as he is when the shoe is on the other foot. If you don&amp;amp;#8217;t want to put his dick in your mouth, don&amp;amp;#8217;t do it. Why waste everyone&amp;amp;#8217;s time? Some good ways to let him know you&amp;amp;#8217;re into it include: eye contact and sexy noises (like the kind of &amp;amp;#8220;hmmm&amp;amp;#8221; that indicates that is the best sexy snack in the universe). But the best way is to actually be into it. 5. Too wet/Too dry Each guy and his penis is different. That&amp;amp;#8217;s why one guy, like Sam, a 40-year-old director of sales will tell me &amp;amp;#8220;It can&amp;amp;#8217;t be wet enough. Saliva makes it sexy, and looser and so much more fun,&amp;amp;#8221; while my friend Jacques, a graphic designer in his 30s, will say &amp;amp;#8220;The best BJs are the ones where I can barely tell she&amp;amp;#8217;s been there; neat and tidy with no clean up.&amp;amp;#8221; Jacques likes his oral stealthy and quick as if performed by S.E.A.L. team; Sam wants his messy like rebel forces storming a capital. There&amp;amp;#8217;s no right way. 6. Not being experimental &amp;amp;#8220;It sounds strange,&amp;amp;#8221; says my friend Arjun, &amp;amp;#8220;But I knew my wife was the one when, without asking, while giving me head on one of our first dates, she reached back and started playing with my ass-hole.&amp;amp;#8221; Sound extreme? It&amp;amp;#8217;s not. Many guys (though not all guys) love having their little man-rosebud toyed with. For a lot of us, it&amp;amp;#8217;s the express train to orgasm town. Doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t mean you have to your fingers all the way up there like he&amp;amp;#8217;s a puppet. Doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t even mean you have to expose the tip of a single finger. You can just play with the exterior area of his anus, or even nearby, along the lines of his and your comfort level. Point is: not exploring and only giving standard, safe BJs can be boring, so live a little. 7. Not being mental Or live a lot. &amp;amp;#8220;I love it when she goes wild on my cock,&amp;amp;#8221; says Charles, a 31-year-old lawyer, &amp;amp;#8220;like really really crazy. It&amp;amp;#8217;s amazing to know that she&amp;amp;#8217;s so into it, that having my penis in her mouth turns her on so much that she can barely contain it.&amp;amp;#8221; This goes back to #4, but with a little more edge. Guys like it that you like our penises. Pulling our your wild side when you pull out his manhood can be a huge turn on (I asked Charles examples of &amp;amp;#8220;crazy&amp;amp;#8221; oral sex behavior: he cites spitting on it, gently smacking it, dirty talk, rubbing it over her body and face). 8. Not using your other hand Working alongside #6, know that, while your free hand doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t need to be in or near his butt, it should be doing something. &amp;amp;#8220;Stroking my balls makes me so horny,&amp;amp;#8221; says my friend Mark, a doctor. &amp;amp;#8220;There are so many nerves there and it&amp;amp;#8217;s so intimate, but it&amp;amp;#8217;s also a reminder that she&amp;amp;#8217;s in control. It&amp;amp;#8217;s so hot.&amp;amp;#8221; You can also stroke his legs, the cheeks of hit butt, his hip flexors and groin, as well as the area behind his scrotum, which is ultra sensitive. 9. Not taking your time Remember when people said &amp;amp;#8220;chillax?&amp;amp;#8221; Neither do I. I think it was strictly a term used by the Ninja Turtles and maybe a few sitcom kids whose writers imagined that&amp;amp;#8217;s how people talk. But when you&amp;amp;#8217;re giving a beej, try and chillax. It will help everyone. It will make him feel less stressed that this is something you&amp;amp;#8217;re trying to get over with. It will help you realize this is no big deal and there&amp;amp;#8217;s no urgency here, as well as keeping your neck and arm muscles from getting sore. 10. Make It Standard There&amp;amp;#8217;s nothing that makes the blowjob gods sadder than predictable head. If the only time his penis is going in your mouth is right before sex, then you&amp;amp;#8217;re headed for a rut. &amp;amp;#8220;Surprise, it&amp;amp;#8217;s a blowjob! Surprise, I love you!&amp;amp;#8221; says my friend Terrence. There&amp;amp;#8217;s nothing greater than head when we least expect it. It&amp;amp;#8217;s a huge turn on, and will give him ideas to return the favor. On the other side of the fence, a blowjob with some foreshadowing can be a turn on as well. &amp;amp;#8220;My wife and I were recently at a dinner party. Early in the evening, just as my friends had finished showing us their new house, my wife pulled me aside, and whispered in my ear that when I got home, I was going to get the BJ of my life. I kid you not: I was hard all throughout dinner.&amp;amp;#8221; What are some of your Oral Sex DON&amp;amp;#8217;Ts? Have a question about Dating, Relationships, or Sex for Single John? Submit it here. Can be totally Anonymous! More on What Men Want at Glamour.com 7 Guys Confess: What He REALLY Thinks of Your Friends Sex Tips From a Guy: 10 Ways He Wants You To Take Control in Bed My Guide To Kinky Sex, Vol. 2: Biting Photo: Thinkstock "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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