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"Dear Single John, I&amp;#x27;ve been dating this guy for about five months now. He&amp;#x27;s very attentive, affectionate and gentle. The only problem is: I work full time, am in college and don&amp;#x27;t really feel that because I&amp;#x27;m in a relationship I should automatically surrender my friendships. His constant complaint to me is that I don&amp;#x27;t spend enough time with him. When I leave work I head straight to his house and usually stay there the entire weekend. When I don&amp;#x27;t, he throws tantrums and threatens to not see me for days at a time or to break up altogether. I love being with him, but I&amp;#x27;m starting to feel smothered. My guy friends all tell me to let him go because it&amp;#x27;s only going to get worse, but my female friends all tell me to tough it out. What should I do? The only funny thing here is his threat that if you don&amp;amp;#8217;t go to his house for an entire weekend, every weekend, he is going to break up with you. Worst bluff ever. Your guys sounds majorly insecure and like he has some control issues. He also sounds like a bit of a baby (who throws tantrums, really?). Whatever his deal is, you&amp;amp;#8217;re totally right to assert that being in a relationship doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t mean you should give up your pals, or all your free time. He should have his own life, and while he should appreciate the time you spend together, if he continues to press on you like this, he needs to realize he&amp;amp;#8217;s going to chase you away completely. Which is probably what he&amp;amp;#8217;s most scared of. Maybe reassure him that you&amp;amp;#8217;re with him, but make it clear that that could change if he continues to act like a gatekeeper. You&amp;amp;#8217;re in college, not a prison camp. You&amp;amp;#8217;re supposed to be busy, and you&amp;amp;#8217;re supposed to see your friends and your guy. And he should want all of those things for you. Here are some tips for dealing with controlling dudes like this. 1) Set him straight early, not often. The earlier you nip this kind of behavior in the bud, the better. If you have to repeatedly set him straight, it could be one of those problems that isn&amp;amp;#8217;t up to you to correct, but up to him. 2) The phone is a phone, not a leash. While being reasonable, and polite, make it clear that your phone is there for your convenience, not so that he can keep track of you. If you take an unreasonably long time to return a text, or a call, perhaps an apology is in order, but only if it&amp;amp;#8217;s an unreasonably long time. If he&amp;amp;#8217;s mad because he has nothing better to do than sit on the edge of his seat and wait for your call, that&amp;amp;#8217;s not your problem. 3) Friends are for sharing. If he&amp;amp;#8217;s one of those guys that freaks out because you want to spend time with your friends (and not him, harumpf!), invite him out with your pals. Not all the time, but when it&amp;amp;#8217;s appropriate. Let him know he&amp;amp;#8217;s welcome. 4) Surprise him from time to time. I often want to go out and stay out and never stop partying once I start. Sometimes, it&amp;amp;#8217;s way better for me and my relationship if I&amp;amp;#8217;m the one to tug on my girl&amp;amp;#8217;s arm and say &amp;amp;#8220;let&amp;amp;#8217;s get out of here.&amp;amp;#8221; Surprise him and be the one to initiate private time. 5) Be open with your schedule. Without feeling like a secretary, or trapped, make him aware of your schedule. Information is power, and that works both ways, but if he knows how busy you actually are, he has little ground on which to stomp his feet in anger. If he&amp;amp;#8217;s not understanding of your busy schedule, or your priorities, once you&amp;amp;#8217;ve laid them out, then he may not ever be. Have you ever dealt with a controlling guy? Are you the controlling one in your relationship? More on Relationships at Glamour.com 5 Ways To Deal With An Ex Online Is Spying Ever Okay in a Relationship 4 Bed-Tested Sex Tips to Try Tonight! More Ways to Get Glamour Visit Shopglamour.com for cute stuff starting at just $10! Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! Follow us on Twitter! Add us to your iGoogle homepage. Photo: Thinkstock "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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