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"  For your morning douche chills! (You&amp;#039;re welcome.) Fresh off his split with Katy Perry, singer/songwriter/foot-in-mouth womanizer John Mayer has announced that he&amp;#039;ll be doing his first nationwide tour in three years, after a throat granuloma forced him to take a break from singing. As he told Billboard: &amp;quot;The greatest gift I have in my life is the opportunity to play again, which is also the opportunity to dream again... My dreams were in escrow, but when I found out this thing in my throat had receded, the most exciting thing for me was having a second chance at a new life. My dreams have come true twice. That&amp;#039;s really cool.&amp;quot; Before their split, Perry and Mayer were quite serious, which is rare for Mayer. The timing is way too convenient here, so we can only assume that this will be a John Mayer Rebound Extravaganza 2013. Whether you find him repellant, would totally have sex with him, or find him repellant and would totally have sex with him anyway, just be aware that he will doubtlessly be scanning the crowd for his next dose of &amp;quot;sexual napalm.&amp;quot; Which brings me to the valuable list of provisions that every woman who may be attending a John Mayer concert in the near future should absolutely have on hand when the time comes. - One (1) box of condoms. (Extremely important. It&amp;#039;s John Mayer. Bag it up.) - One (1) six-pack of craft beer (because obviously that&amp;#039;s all he drinks). - The names and numbers of the following four (4) emergency contacts: Local wildlife reserve, local fire station, a celebrity astrologist and a rabbi. Just in case. - One (1) copy of any book by Walden, Bukowski or David Foster Wallace. -Photographic evidence. Duh. If it&amp;#039;s not on Instagram, it didn&amp;#039;t happen.  Follow Anna on Twitter: @annabreslaw Image: NBC "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a12154/john-mayer-rebound-tour/>