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" Q. I was with a &amp;quot;bad boy&amp;quot; in high school--he was my first love. The relationship was rocky, so when I found out I was pregnant, my mom pressured me to break up with him and tell him he wasn&amp;#039;t the father of our son. He was hurt by my &amp;quot;infidelity&amp;quot; and cut me out of his life. Now, 10 years later, I can&amp;#039;t stop feeling guilty. Should I tell him? --S.G., 28, COLORADO A: I threw this one out to my online community, and here&amp;#039;s how their opinion broke down: 85 percent say tell, 4 percent say don&amp;#039;t, and 11 percent were on the fence. I&amp;#039;m with the ones who think coming clean is the way to go. Your ex has the right to know he has a child, and your son deserves the opportunity to know about his father. Think about how much you&amp;#039;ve changed since your teens--your ex may have been a &amp;quot;bad boy&amp;quot; then, but there&amp;#039;s no way of knowing what kind of guy he is now. It&amp;#039;s not going to be easy, and you should consider consulting a lawyer about what could happen if he asks for visitation or custody. As you&amp;#039;re learning, big family secrets almost always come back to bite you, and if you don&amp;#039;t tell, you could end up ruining your relationship with your son when he&amp;#039;s old enough to find out the truth about his father. Talk to Soleil Send questions about your complicated friend, family, marriage, or work situations to soleil@redbookmag.com and include your initials, age, and state, or tweet us @redbookmag with the hashtag #Soleil. Questions may be edited for clarity and length. Check out Soleil&amp;#039;s perfectly imperfect adventures in parenting on moonfrye. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/friends-family/q-and-a/a14059/my-ex-is-the-father-soleil-moon-frye-advice-column/>