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" Sure, you keep score in your relationship. We all do, and it&amp;#039;s the best mind game around. Your guy reels off your Starbucks order\u2014tall-skim-vanilla-latte-not-too-much-foam\u2014without a moment&amp;#039;s pause, and a &amp;quot;plus one&amp;quot; goes off in your brain. You take the 6:30 a.m. shift with the kids on a Saturday so your husband can sleep, and the only thing keeping you upright is the thought of all those brownie points you&amp;#039;re banking. But what is that snooze actually worth to him? And what could you redeem your points for later? We set out to discover which everyday deeds mean the most, because really, if it doesn&amp;#039;t register, why do it? First, we came up with a list of all the possibilities known to mate-kind, from letting your partner set the thermostat to grooming &amp;quot;down there.&amp;quot; Then we asked 100 men and 100 women how many brownie points they give (from 1 to 10) for each. The answers startled us\u2014and our survey takers: &amp;quot;Thinking about this list has made me realize how much I&amp;#039;m taking for granted,&amp;quot; says Mike, 36, from Los Angeles. Take the quiz with your guy to drill down\u2014and radically improve\u2014your own relationship. Sex wins for men Drum roll? Eh, skip it: More than anything, men love oral sex (shocker!) first thing in the morning (oh!). In fact, all of the top things men appreciate the most involve sex, per the REDBOOK Brownie Points survey. The other high-ranking acts of lust on his list: Oral sex\u2014any other time. It got one point less than the a.m. action, just like everything else here. Trying that sex idea he&amp;#039;s been hinting at. Suggesting you watch porn together. Giving him a back rub that leads to sex. (Take out the sex? Deduct 3 points.) Jumping in for some action when he&amp;#039;s in the shower. Whispering something dirty in his ear at a party\u2014but only if you follow up on it later. As Justin, 40, of Bend, OR, explains: &amp;quot;We were at a barbecue with a group of friends and my wife whispered, &amp;#039;I can&amp;#039;t wait to get home and rip your clothes off.&amp;#039; That was all I could think about for the rest of the afternoon. I&amp;#039;ve never wanted to leave a barbecue so fast in my life!&amp;quot; Sending him a text with a sexy photo. Being down for some hooking up... after he gets home from a guys&amp;#039; night. Women gave men the most credit in bed for... Dedicating an entire sex session just to pleasing you. Doing whatever it takes to help you finish, even when he&amp;#039;s already done. Putting in 20 minutes of foreplay. Even putting in just 10 minutes of foreplay. Trying a sex idea that you came up with. For Marissa, 31, from Philadelphia, it was using a sex toy. She wasn&amp;#039;t sure her guy liked it, &amp;quot;but he surprised me by ordering it and whipping it out one night. It was amazing!&amp;quot; What men love almost as much as sex  Guys said their brownie-point meter goes BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! when you... Wear your hottest dress on date night. &amp;quot;My wife is usually a casual dresser, but a few weeks ago she wore a formfitting brown dress that really showed off her figure,&amp;quot; says Ajunan, 36, of Houston. &amp;quot;When I saw her, I thought, WOW. After a decade of marriage and three kids, her body still takes my breath away!&amp;quot; Aaron, 33, from Union, KY, appreciates a little dressing up too: &amp;quot;I give her tons of credit for looking sexy when I know the kids have destroyed any energy she may have had that day.&amp;quot; Pack his lunch and put a little note in it. Organize his home office or another space of the house you don&amp;#039;t use (but he does). Go on a double date with his best guy friend and his annoying wife. Take care of the holiday shopping... and sign the card from both of you. You dish out the most points when he...  Swaps dinners with you when you&amp;#039;re at a restaurant and you hate what you ordered. Accompanies you to your yoga/pottery/photography class. Sarah, 28, of Washington, DC, couldn&amp;#039;t get over the time her boyfriend came to yoga with her one rainy Saturday: &amp;quot;I thought he was just being nice so we could spend some time together. Color me surprised when I turned around and he was in a headstand, totally focused. I can&amp;#039;t even do that pose! It meant a lot to me that he tried it\u2014and now we go all the time.&amp;quot; Buys you flowers when it&amp;#039;s not your birthday or anniversary. Makes you breakfast in bed. Gives you the perfect gift because he searched, and searched... and searched some more. EXTRA POINTS! Grooming &amp;quot;downstairs.&amp;quot; Okay, a few stray hairs aren&amp;#039;t going to keep him away. But men did admit that they really, really like it when you keep it groomed down there. &amp;quot;Nobody&amp;#039;s saying burn the hedges, but it&amp;#039;s not bad to trim the bush,&amp;quot; says Scott, 29, from Boston. Women are almost as appreciative of men who tidy up their manly parts. Lesson: Neatness counts! He really appreciates that? Yes!  Who knew? It gets men grinning when you... Let him set the thermostat, even if it means you&amp;#039;re wrapped up in wool socks, a big sweater, and a Snuggie. Remind him it&amp;#039;s his mom&amp;#039;s birthday. &amp;quot;Before I met my wife, Elvis Week on TV used to be my warning that my mom&amp;#039;s birthday was approaching,&amp;quot; says Ryan, 33, of Agoura Hills, CA. &amp;quot;But now that TV tradition is dead\u2014so thank heaven for my wife!&amp;quot; Hand-wash his favorite T-shirt or pair of jeans so it doesn&amp;#039;t get destroyed in the machine. Say he looks great\u2014and mean it\u2014when he&amp;#039;s gained a few pounds. As Max, 28, of Forest Hills, NY, tells it, &amp;quot;Hearing it from her gives me a confidence boost, since her opinion is the one I care about most. And it&amp;#039;s sweet that she tries to make me feel better even when I know I&amp;#039;ve gotten gross!&amp;quot; The props you get for parenting  How sweet is this: Dads gave moms way more brownie points for parenting stuff than you moms gave yourselves. He seriously appreciates it when you... Take an extra morning shift with the kids so he can sleep in.  Keep the kids out of his hair when his favorite team is playing. Tell him what a great father he is. &amp;quot;When my wife says, &amp;#039;You&amp;#039;re such a great dad&amp;#039; out of the blue, it always takes me aback\u2014in a good way,&amp;quot; says Joseph, 34, of Belvidere, NJ. &amp;quot;We don&amp;#039;t always agree on the way things should be handled when it comes to our kids, so it makes me feel good to know that she thinks I&amp;#039;m doing all right.&amp;quot; You think he&amp;#039;s pretty great, too  Dads got credit if they... Take the kids to soccer/ballet/a birthday party on a beautiful Saturday so you can do whatever you want. Single-handedly bathe the kids and put them to bed. &amp;quot;When he comes home from a long day at work, he happily jumps right in and takes over with the baby\u2014diaper changes, feedings, and getting him to sleep,&amp;quot; says Meghan, 29, of Houston. It gives me the break I need, and by then I really need it.&amp;quot; Tell you what a great mother you are. The easiest thing that means A LOT  Men gave major points for when you say &amp;quot;I love you&amp;quot; just because. It only takes a second, and the effects last. Says Jeremy, 28, of Pomona, CA: &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s nice to know she&amp;#039;s thinking about me throughout the day just as much as I&amp;#039;m thinking about her.&amp;quot; More stuff that makes people melt Readers shared their personal brownie-point jackpots. HE SAYS... &amp;quot;Every now and then, I have my friends over for a guys-only scotch party. My wife always nonchalantly makes other plans for that night, even though I&amp;#039;ve never asked her to. She&amp;#039;s so cool like that, and I love her for it.&amp;quot; \u2014WAYNE, 34, ARLINGTON, VA &amp;quot;Sometimes my girlfriend comes up to me and gives me a hug when I least expect it. It&amp;#039;s adorable.&amp;quot; \u2014ERON, 31, ATLANTA &amp;quot;It can be a Wednesday when nothing special is going on, and Kelly will surprise me by ordering cookies and having them sent to my office\u2014so great!&amp;quot; \u2014THEODORE, 28, DETROIT &amp;quot;She goes to sporting events with me that she doesn&amp;#039;t like, including NASCAR races.&amp;quot; \u2014STEVE, 38, SAN FRANCISCO &amp;quot;I give her extra points when we go out to dinner and she picks up the tab. It&amp;#039;s nice to be treated every so often!&amp;quot; \u2014THOMAS, 33, HOBOKEN, NJ SHE SAYS... &amp;quot;My husband always thanks me for dinner, and during grace he sometimes says, &amp;#039;Bless the hands that made this meal.&amp;#039; It&amp;#039;s really thoughtful.&amp;quot; \u2014CYNTHIA, 34, TERRA ALTA, WV &amp;quot;He wears a Santa tie on Christmas Eve to appease my parents\u2014and he&amp;#039;s Jewish!&amp;quot; \u2014ALICE, 34, LOS ANGELES &amp;quot;My boyfriend painted our entire apartment, which gets him big points. Now he hates the color but lives with it because I like it, which gets him bigger points.&amp;quot; \u2014ALEXANDRA, 42, NEW YORK CITY &amp;quot;He writes me random love letters for no reason at all.&amp;quot; \u2014JENNIFER, 29, NEW PROVIDENCE, NJ &amp;quot;I love slushies, and registered for a slushie maker for our wedding. Nobody bought it for us, so my husband got one for me as a &amp;#039;honeymoon present.&amp;#039; Now, Whenever I&amp;#039;m feeling down, he makes me a slushie. It&amp;#039;s silly, but I smile and feel taken care of every time he does it.&amp;quot; \u2014DANI, 37, HOUSTON Awww... he doesn&amp;#039;t think he deserves extra credit (but he does) Men said they consider it to be part of the job (no brownie points due!) when they... Unclog the toilet. Pull your hair from the shower drain. Hide their junk food when you&amp;#039;re on a diet. Go lingerie shopping with you. Drop you off at the door of the restaurant while they park the car in the rain. (Women ranked this as a major point-scorer, so let&amp;#039;s make it mandatory, okay?) But there&amp;#039;s always room for improvement, guys... &amp;quot;I wish he&amp;#039;d give me more credit for reading up on men&amp;#039;s health issues and reporting back to him. I want us to have a long life together!&amp;quot;\u2014PATCHES, 41, OLD TAPPAN, NJ &amp;quot;I deserve extra points for planning our meals. He seems to think groceries magically appear in our fridge and that they somehow turn into dinner.&amp;quot; \u2014MELISSA, 34, TACOMA, WA &amp;quot;I think my husband should thank me for setting up man dates for him, usually by calling his friends&amp;#039; wives. Sometimes I even arrange for him to play golf with the guys. I swear, if it wasn&amp;#039;t for me, he&amp;#039;d never see any of them!&amp;quot; \u2014LAURA, 30, MILWAUKEE &amp;quot;I want brownie points for shaving his back. Yup, I just admitted that.&amp;quot; \u2014NICOLE, 29, HOBOKEN, NJ "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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