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" Can a vibrator desensitize my girlfriend to the point that I can&amp;#039;t please her? If so, how would we get things back to normal? You mention this word normal. Have you ever considered that maybe your girlfriend spent her summers on her grandmother&amp;#039;s dildo farm, where the family would gather on the porch, snapping the fresh crop of butt plugs by the bushel? Have you? Most nonsociopaths agree that a living organism is preferable to an inanimate object, even one with highly realistic raised veins, so if you&amp;#039;re unsure about her mental condition, have her complete this sentence: &amp;quot;I like to watch baby animals...&amp;quot; If she doesn&amp;#039;t answer &amp;quot;suffer,&amp;quot; then you must look at yourself. It&amp;#039;s common for men to feel threatened by anything that seems unnatural, especially things that go into a hole, any hole, and many find it helpful to gather together while wearing special outfits, sometimes in fields or the Vatican, and talk about what scares them. But there&amp;#039;s no need. Yes, a vibrator, used correctly, can desensitize a lady&amp;#039;s parts, but the sensation will return to normal (oops, look what I just did!) if she can just put the thing down for five minutes. There are other alternatives for men like you -- men who cannot satisfy their women. Thomas Gertz, executive director of the American College of Sexologists, suggests that couples &amp;quot;incorporate the vibrator into their sexual activity,&amp;quot; or what I like to call the old &amp;quot;if you can&amp;#039;t beat &amp;#039;em, grudgingly accommodate &amp;#039;em and let &amp;#039;em eat you alive&amp;quot; tactic.  Lately I&amp;#039;ve been noticing my neighbor through her window. I&amp;#039;m not stalking her; I just keep seeing her. How do I talk to her without freaking her out? I once starred opposite Matthew McConaughey in a delightful romantic play called Is That a Baguette in Your Pocket? that ran for five weeks at the Patrick Dempsey Theater. The plot was nearly identical. What you need to do is monitor her movements like a hawk, making charts and graphs if necessary. Then put on a yummy sweater and appear to nonchalantly bump into her somewhere. Another option, which comes to us from Katalin Conway, author of What Really Works with Women, is to &amp;quot;go over to her and ask her for a cup of sugar.&amp;quot; Just be sure you don&amp;#039;t let it slip that you plan to rub it all over your balls while you watch her through the window.  Who had the first sex-tape scandal?  The very first scandal is somewhat hard to determine, because shooting dates don&amp;#039;t always coincide with the dates they were dribbled to the public, but here are some highlights: There was a tape of lovely actress Jayne Kennedy, whom you might remember from &amp;#039;70s TV, getting fisted by her beloved while an oldies station faintly plays in the background. (If there&amp;#039;s anything worse than the readying of greased knuckles against one&amp;#039;s genitalia to &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m Your Puppet,&amp;quot; I&amp;#039;d like to hear it.) Before her was actor Bob Crane from Hogan&amp;#039;s Heroes. There was Rob Lowe, who did it with two girls in 1988; Tonya Harding, who did it at all, unbelievably; and, of course, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. There was R. Kelly allegedly urinating on an underage girl. Pro wrestlers Chyna and X-Pac made a sex tape, and nobody came. Julius Erving had one, and we&amp;#039;ve all seen Chuck Berry in the bathroom. And let&amp;#039;s forget Dustin Diamond, whom you might remember as TV&amp;#039;s Screech, who made a tape of himself having sex with two girls in 2002 that featured a Dirty Sanchez. And yes, &amp;quot;Dirty Sanchez&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;Screech&amp;quot; is worse than that thing I mentioned before. I stand corrected. (Do not Google it, Dad.)  Got a sex question of your own? Send it to us via esquire.com/talk. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a2964/sex0607/>