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"  Dolls, this month&amp;#039;s Ask Eeee letters would make for roller-coaster romances, heart-pumping adventures, chilling dramas, and four-star horrors. For ELLE&amp;#039;s juicy Hollywood issue, here are my blockbuster picks: Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by confusion?  I Know Who You Texted Last Summer DEAR E. JEAN : Six months ago, when I was freelancing, I fell for my boss. Nothing happened, but it was clear that there were true feelings between us. I considered telling him how I felt, but I waited, afraid I would look like I was flattering him in order to get hired full-time. He brought in someone else, so about a month ago I wrote him a love letter. After two weeks with no response, I sent him a text message asking if he wanted to start a relationship with me. Not only did I receive no answer, but he had blocked my number! I tried to call him using a different phone; again, no answer! I can only jump to the conclusion that he&amp;#039;s a coward. He could have sent me an answer!\u2014Trying to Be Brave Brave, you bewitching half-wit : He did answer. The No. 2 Rule of Texting is: No reply means &amp;quot;no.&amp;quot; Hunny, I love you, but the next time you text-mush an ex-boss, try to recollect that when a bloke blocks your number\u2014n f dats not an ans idk wat iz\u2014it means you&amp;#039;ve blown it, killed it, completely miscalculated the attraction. And your No. 1 Rule of Texting? Don&amp;#039;t. Your girlish enthusiasm is lovely, but your lack of discrimination, inability to read other people&amp;#039;s signals, and excessive fuss-making concern me. You&amp;#039;re forbidden to wiggle your thumbs at a member of the male sex (unless he texts you first) until you attain the age of 64...or you&amp;#039;ll end up like Miss G. Close in Fatal Attraction.  Ball Street DEAR E. JEAN : I&amp;#039;m currently working the longest string of temp jobs in history! I am 29, have a degree in art history, have temped most of my adult life, but, though I received excellent grades in school and won prizes for writing and visual art, I have never shot up the ladder. The good news is: I&amp;#039;ve finally moved into the graphic design industry, which is a perfect fit for my talents. But now what? A few people have commented that I lack aggression. How do I turn this into a brilliant career?\u2014Spinning My Wheels E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com Un, hunny : I&amp;#039;ve said it 200 times: Men can change. Even your own Mr. Shallow Hal. But I don&amp;#039;t see any to-ing and fro-ing in your letter, no &amp;quot;I love him buts,&amp;quot; not a syllable of tenderness. However, if you do have a scrap of affection for him remaining, I suggest two things: Call him out on his judgmental\u2014not to mention hypocritical\u2014idiocy, or see a couples therapist. But I warn you about the latter: This may be the most difficult of all types of analysis, not merely because it&amp;#039;s hideously painful exploring love (and weight), and not because things can explode in tears and screams in the first 23 seconds of a session, but because most therapists are lousy at it. Make certain you choose one who specializes in couples (get a recommendation from happy friends and/or do telephone interviews) and who will provide the skills necessary to make good changes.  Bringing Up Baby, Part DeuxDEAR E. JEAN : I recently delivered a baby girl by emergency C-section. I&amp;#039;m unable to have a child by vaginal birth because my pelvis is too small, and I don&amp;#039;t want to get cut open ever again. But people keep nagging me and telling me I&amp;#039;m being selfish because I won&amp;#039;t &amp;quot;give&amp;quot; my beautiful daughter a sibling. Or worse, they laugh at me and say, &amp;quot;Oh, everyone says that, but give it a year and you&amp;#039;ll want more.&amp;quot; I&amp;#039;m tired of the hectoring. I&amp;#039;m ready to boil over! What should I say to them?\u2014Happy Mother of One Happy, my luv : The rude animals! This ranks so high on the Ask Eeee Rupture Scale (a device that pinpoints where readers are most likely to burst a vessel in consternation) that I must offer three retorts instead of one: The Leo DiCaprio\u201311th Hour Answer: &amp;quot;No, darling, one is enough. You&amp;#039;ve sucked up so much of our planet&amp;#039;s resources with your [be v.v.v. personal here] gas-guzzling SUV [heated toilet, third vacation home] that we cannot in good conscience have another.&amp;quot; The &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s in the Bag&amp;quot; Answer: &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;re happy with one, especially since we&amp;#039;re giving so much money to free the kids in the sweatshop who made that knockoff Zac Posen bag of yours.&amp;quot; The &amp;quot;Who&amp;#039;s Your Daddy?&amp;quot; Answer: &amp;quot;Oh! I&amp;#039;d lurve to have another child! Great idea! Let&amp;#039;s set a date: When&amp;#039;s your husband available to inseminate me...again?&amp;quot; E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com Miss Spinning, sweetie : Pshzzt! Aggression is sooo 1980s. These days it takes slyness, originality, dash, perseverance, brains, a weird joy for working, and a knack for understanding your clients&amp;#039; (and bosses&amp;#039;) vanities.  So, you have two choices: A) You can wait for the company to send around a tray of cupcakes with little notes written in the frosting saying, &amp;quot;Who Wants to Work for Us?&amp;quot; Or...B) You tell the CEO that you love her bold (dynamic, innovative, inspiring) company and want to dedicate yourself to making it the greatest graphic design business in the history of human eyeballs. Then, ask her for a job. P.S. Recently, a thrilling story by The Washington Post&amp;#039;s Shankar Vedantam shed light on this phenomenon. To wit: Linda C. Babcock, PhD, professor of economics at Carnegie Mellon, found that all the men in the university&amp;#039;s PhD program were teaching courses on their own, while all the women were working as teaching assistants. The reason? Each of the male fellows had told the dean he wanted to teach a course, and none of the female ones had. Good luck!  Ra-tat-phooey!DEAR E. JEAN : The man I want to marry is a wonderful, honest, generous, bighearted, cute, and funny guy. However, he wants to raise our (yet-to-be-born) children as vegans. He will not waiver on this. He says I&amp;#039;m an embarrassment because I &amp;quot;do not respect life enough to stop eating meat.&amp;quot; However, I think that children need a well-balanced diet, including birthday cake made with milk and eggs, chicken soup when they&amp;#039;re sick, pancakes on Sundays, etc. But he won&amp;#039;t budge. Do I have to give up a great man and wait for another?\u2014Omnivore for Sure OMG, Om : Is he kidding? Getting kids to eat anything takes a freaking miracle. Round up four or five neighborhood urchins, ages one to five, and ask Mr. Hummus Pita to fix them lunch. Your man&amp;#039;s chakra will be whacked so far off balance after an hour of begging little Calder and Ava to drink the wheatgrass and carrot juice that he&amp;#039;ll be forced to ingest a beefsteak just to recover. Cutting out all animal categories (organic milk, cage-free eggs, wild honey, grass-fed goat cheese, etc.) would be a mistake in my opinion, and I&amp;#039;m a vegetarian. (I haven&amp;#039;t eaten anything with a soul for ethical, moral, aesthetic, environmental, social, musical, artistic, and purely pugnacious reasons since December 1972, when I caught myself lambasting my Montana dinner guests with an antihunting tirade while eating elk fondue.) But the deal here isn&amp;#039;t about whether you feed your kids dandelions or duck confit; it&amp;#039;s that he&amp;#039;s not considering your feelings on the matter. Take the fianc\u00E9 to a pediatrician and let the doc educate you both about the amounts of fat and protein a developing young brain and body requires. Then, if he&amp;#039;s as bighearted as you say, the two of you can make an informed decision that will be good for your future children, excellent for your marriage, and kind to all poor creatures.  The Virgin ChroniclesDEAR E. JEAN : I&amp;#039;m only 25, but I&amp;#039;ve been with a lot of men in my young life. I always had trouble committing to one man; however, three years ago, I fell in love and have been faithful to the same guy. We&amp;#039;ve had &amp;quot;girlfriends&amp;quot; (threesomes), but lately we&amp;#039;ve had heated discussions about my &amp;quot;lack of adventure.&amp;quot; He still wants the &amp;quot;girlfriends,&amp;quot; but now he wants me with a &amp;quot;boyfriend.&amp;quot; He won&amp;#039;t sleep with me until I agree to it. Now that I finally want to keep my legs crossed, he doesn&amp;#039;t want me to! Is he actually turned on by the thought of me shagging another guy?\u2014The Nun of Monza Nun, my buttered muffin: Auntie Eeee has no idea what turns on Mr. Double Team (but I&amp;#039;m certain it would cause Auntie to wake in the middle of the night, shrieking with laughter). Nobody can tell you who to love. You didn&amp;#039;t sign the Magna Carta here; if you don&amp;#039;t want to participate in Shag-a-Boy, tell him no. And if he objects, get a new BF.  The Virgin ChroniclesDEAR E. JEAN : My boyfriend of two years, who has been chubby most of his life, has an incredibly hostile attitude toward overweight women. He makes rude comments when they&amp;#039;re out of earshot. I&amp;#039;ve spoken to him about it many times, but to no avail. I&amp;#039;m 5&amp;#039;7&amp;quot; and a healthy 133 pounds. I suffered from anorexia in high school and am extremely sensitive about my appearance. He tells me I&amp;#039;m pretty, but recently he said he&amp;#039;d be hitting the gym before our vacation because &amp;quot;we&amp;#039;re going to be the fattest people on the beach.&amp;quot; Key word: we&amp;#039;re. I was very upset. He apologized. But when we were on vacation, I mentioned a &amp;quot;half-pound cookie&amp;quot; I saw on the menu, and I swear he said under his breath, &amp;quot;That&amp;#039;s the last thing you need.&amp;quot; I was so hurt. He&amp;#039;s starting to talk marriage. Should I hang on or move on?\u2014Uneasy &amp;amp;amp; Undecided E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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