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"Ready? Set? Splash! Yep, ABC&amp;#039;s utterly bizarre celebrity diving show is back for another week, but you know what? It&amp;#039;s actually starting to feel a bit more competitive and serious. I mean, yeah, sure - there are still the synchronised diving performances and hilarious personalised theme tunes (my favourite is Brandi&amp;#039;s: &amp;quot;Brandi Chastain! Do it again! She used to play soccer now she&amp;#039;s hitting the water!&amp;quot;) But for some reason Joey Lawrence has settled down a bit and things seem a bit more like your standard reality show. That&amp;#039;s not necessarily a bad thing - though I miss the ridiculousness, Splash is still fun. Anyway, things really are getting more difficult this week as every celebrity must perform a flip during their dive (obviously, Greg&amp;#039;s there to tell us all How Dangerous this can be.) And what&amp;#039;s more, there&amp;#039;s no dive off! Yep, the lowest scoring star will automatically be eliminated. Considering how messed up the Splash scoring has been in the past, this makes me feel a little worried. Apparently, it doesn&amp;#039;t concern Charissa and Joey, who are currently marvelling over how handsome Greg is. Uh, let&amp;#039;s get the first dive going....  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Kareem&amp;#039;s going to be doing a front one-and-a-half flip, and he&amp;#039;s determined to redeem himself after his week one somersault was criticised by those nasty judges. The only problem is that Kareem is really tall (yeah, I don&amp;#039;t think Splash had mentioned this up to now.) His height is a genuine problem, though, because he has to rotate enough to enter the water cleanly. Will he manage it? Charissa wants to know if he&amp;#039;s having fun up on the board, and Kareem&amp;#039;s: &amp;quot;Uh, yeah&amp;quot; is not entirely convincing.  Still, he&amp;#039;s impressed that he can see his stomach muscles for once. &amp;quot;I see you working on that six pack,&amp;quot; Charissa grins. Erm, moving swiftly on to the dive! Has anyone else noticed that Splash&amp;#039;s use of tense music has risen sharply lately? Anyway, Kareem jumps off the springboard and does an okay dive, though he doesn&amp;#039;t have much time to extend so he hits the water pretty hard. What will the judges think? This is always fun because Joey looks SO SMALL next to Kareem. David Boudia: David says that Kareem has blown him away, but admits that he was a little short on his rotation - he needs to focus on his core. He scores him 6.0. Steve Foley: Steve agrees that Kareem&amp;#039;s rotation was short (&amp;quot;I bet you&amp;#039;ve never been called short in your life&amp;quot;) but points out the &amp;quot;real diving skill&amp;quot; that he displayed with his hips. In the end, he gives him 6.5 for an average score of 6.25.  Katherine Webb Katherine&amp;#039;s going to do a reverse somersault: &amp;quot;That is either really bold or a really, really bad idea,&amp;quot; Joey grins helpfully. In training, Katherine&amp;#039;s keen to get another 10 score, but she&amp;#039;s worried about her dive, as it&amp;#039;s the same thing that Greg was doing when he hit his head on the diving board once. She actually has to jump forward, but flip backward - it&amp;#039;s pretty intense. (I&amp;#039;ve been really impressed with Katherine&amp;#039;s give-it-a-go attitude.) She is really nervous, though - especially when she has a heavy landing in training (&amp;quot;Holy crap that hurt!&amp;quot;) Still, she wants to take risks so she doesn&amp;#039;t go home. Up on the board in a truly bizarre swimsuit, Katherine speaks to Joey - who just wants to know how nervous she is. Is she nervous? Like, really, really nervous? Greg hit his head doing this dive, does that make her nervous? Does having Katherine&amp;#039;s mom in the audience make her nervous? This is just Nicole&amp;#039;s fall all over again. Anyway, Katherine vows to try her hardest, though she calls down to Greg that she&amp;#039;s - you guessed it - nervous. In the end, she does some great flipping from the 23ft board, but her entry is not as clean as I bet she&amp;#039;d like. Steve: Steve acknowledges that Katherine&amp;#039;s dive was difficult and frightening, and praises her for spinning towards the platform but also clearing it safely. But he does say she lost control and ended up with a &amp;quot;rump entry&amp;quot;. &amp;quot;Trust me, I feel it,&amp;quot; Katherine deadpans. In the end, she gets a 6.0 from Steve. David: David agrees that this dive is scary, and praises some of Katherine&amp;#039;s performance, including her tuck and position (&amp;quot;unbelievable&amp;quot;). But he also agrees that she over-rotated, and gives her a 6.0 for an average score of 6.0. That means Kareem&amp;#039;s safe! Oh, and we get to see Katherine&amp;#039;s mom gushing about how proud she is. Aww.  Nicole Eggert Nicole&amp;#039;s going to do a back somersault from the 5m board, which scares her a little as she&amp;#039;s not done any flips yet: &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;d better get it down quick or you&amp;#039;ll see me in a neck brace.&amp;quot; She even has her own little injuries in training as she bites her tongue (&amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s still there, though, right?&amp;quot;) She&amp;#039;s determined to master the dive and make it beautiful, and she&amp;#039;s really proud of how far she&amp;#039;s come so far. Aww! O Of course, up on the board before her dive, Joey can&amp;#039;t help but ask what she&amp;#039;s worried about most and bring up her previous famous slip. Man, Joey, don&amp;#039;t be such a downer! Still, Nicole vows to &amp;quot;channel her inner Greg Louganis&amp;quot; - hey, whatever works for you. She seems pretty nervous on the 16 foot board, but Greg urges her to breathe and take her time, and her eventual dive is brilliant with a smooth entry. Brandi&amp;#039;s so excited she actually punches the air (I have to say how lovely it is that all these contestants are so supportive of each other.) David: David describes the dive as &amp;quot;absolutely amazing&amp;quot; and gushes over her improvement over the past few weeks. He says she had elegance and grace with a perfect tuck - he gives her 8.5. Steve: Steve says that Nicole controlled the somersault like a professional and praises the power she had: &amp;quot;You didn&amp;#039;t dive trying not to lose, you dived tonight trying to win.&amp;quot; He scores her an 8.0, for an average of 8.25! That means that Nicole&amp;#039;s safe this week.  Rory Bushfield Rory ruptured his ear drum a while back, and the doctor has told him not to dive. &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;s not hearing any of that!&amp;quot; Charissa grins. I guess Joey must have given her some of his lines. Anyway, Rory (who says Kendra&amp;#039;s exit last week was a &amp;quot;let down&amp;quot;) has to be really careful with his ear because if it gets infected he could have balance problems. Instead, he practises with a trampoline and monkey bars (basically, he&amp;#039;s hanging out in an adult&amp;#039;s version of a kid&amp;#039;s playground.) Greg advises him to go up on the board and visualise his dive, too. So how will Rory cope with diving when he hasn&amp;#039;t even been in the water for two weeks? He vows to try his best, and actually his eventual plunge is really good - from the 33ft board (with heartbeat music), he spins and has a good entry. Katherine even describes it as &amp;quot;awesome&amp;quot;! Steve: Steve describes Rory&amp;#039;s dive as &amp;quot;unbelievable&amp;quot;, and explains that he knows what it&amp;#039;s like diving with a perforated ear drum and affected balance. He thinks Rory&amp;#039;s balance was really good, and says he definitely thinks like an Olympian - it&amp;#039;s a score of 7.5 for him! David: David suggests that when Rory jumped off, he was a &amp;quot;little shallow&amp;quot;. I don&amp;#039;t really know what he means, but I do understand numbers - David scores Rory a 7.0, giving him an average of 7.25 and making him safe this week.  Drake Bell I still love Drake&amp;#039;s theme tune - &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m going to ring your bell&amp;quot; - but I also love that he&amp;#039;s super competitive. He says he wants to be a frontrunner and eyes up Brandi and Rory as his competition. He wants to make sure his dive is perfect to keep him safe: &amp;quot;I really want to win this!&amp;quot; Up on the board, Joey asks Drake if he thinks he&amp;#039;s the best diver but he&amp;#039;s very magnanimous, pointing out that Rory just did super well and saying that everybody is progressing. As for Drake&amp;#039;s dive, he admits he&amp;#039;s never done it from the 33ft board before! Greg urges him to keep it simple, and the actual dive I think is pretty damn good, though his legs fly over a little bit. But what will the judges say? David: David says that Drake stood on the diving board &amp;quot;like a champion&amp;quot; and owned it, but he admits that he was expecting something a little more - namely, a &amp;quot;ripped entry&amp;quot; (which sounds very painful). Anyway, because Drake didn&amp;#039;t do that, David scores him a 6.5 - and gets rewarded with boos from the crowd! Steve: Steve congratulates Drake, saying his dive took guts, but adds that it was clear he was in trouble from the beginning. He says he came down a little hard and out of control, so gives him a 6.0. That&amp;#039;s an average of 6.25, which makes Drake safe, but he&amp;#039;s not happy: &amp;quot;I did a terrible job at it!&amp;quot; Aww, Drake - I&amp;#039;m sure there&amp;#039;ll be plenty of people waiting to console you.  Brandi Chastain Not only does Brandi have the best personalised theme tune, but Joey gets in there by saying: &amp;quot;She&amp;#039;s used to kicking balls - training this week kicked her ass.&amp;quot; Nice. Anyway, in training footage we see that Brandi&amp;#039;s nervous about going up to the 7.5m board, and she struggles to get it right - which, as an athlete, is super frustrating for her. She considers Drake and Rory her competition, but she wants to sneak up on them! Up on the board, Brandi says she&amp;#039;s thinking about her family and also dedicates the dive to her grandmother, who broke her hip recently. Aww - hope she gets better soon! Brandi&amp;#039;s dive is good, too - she hits the water kind of hard because her legs aren&amp;#039;t straightened out, but the dive itself looks good to me. Oh, who am I kidding, all these dives look good. If anyone does any kind of turning in the air I&amp;#039;m sold. Let&amp;#039;s go to David and Steve for some actual informed judgement... Steve: &amp;quot;Carpe diem!&amp;quot; Steve declares, pointing out that Brandi has seized the day since she came in as an alternate. He admits that he and David have been tough with the scores but says everyone has been doing &amp;quot;some serious diving&amp;quot;. But he has to point out Brandi&amp;#039;s mistake - that her entry wasn&amp;#039;t vertical. So he gives her 6.5! Before David offers his thoughts, Joey talks about the scores Brandi needs to be safe and she basically just shuts him down by going: &amp;quot;I know math.&amp;quot; Yes, girl! David: Anyway, David suggests that Brandi&amp;#039;s positivity and spirit go a long way but he suggests that she went into her tuck a little too early, which made her dive a bit short. So he gives her a 6.0 - that&amp;#039;s an average score of 6.25 for Brandi, making her safe! It&amp;#039;s just down to Katherine v Louie now...  Louie Anderson Apparently Louie Anderson has &amp;quot;defied expectations&amp;quot; since day one and now has to defy something harder - gravity. I need whoever writes the script for this show to just follow me around making silly comments about my life (the theme tune scribes can come too.) Anyway, Louie doesn&amp;#039;t really fancy his chances when it comes to flipping: &amp;quot;I can hardly flip in bed!&amp;quot; He vows to throw his arms out, get his knees up, keep his eyes open and, um, not wet his pants. He&amp;#039;s really worried about injuring himself, though, and after a pretty hard entry his confidence is damaged quite badly. &amp;quot;This is the first time I&amp;#039;m not sure I can do a dive,&amp;quot; he frets. Up on the board there are lots of jokes about who Louie&amp;#039;s emergency contact is (&amp;quot;You, I hope,&amp;quot; he tells Charissa. Well, she did ask.) He admits that it&amp;#039;s the &amp;quot;hardest thing&amp;quot; going up against Katherine, since everyone gets on so well - to be fair, I do really believe this, and it&amp;#039;s pretty sweet. Anyway, Greg gets up on the 16ft board to help Louie lie down, and then the comedian tips himself backward into the pool. It&amp;#039;s not the most graceful dive we&amp;#039;ve seen, for sure, but you can&amp;#039;t knock Louie. In fact, Katherine&amp;#039;s so upset about becoming his rival that she even gets a bit tearful and gives him a kiss. Excuse me, I need a moment... Steve: Steve says both Louie and Katherine have surprised people, by performing above expectation. He points out that Louie&amp;#039;s probably the first 400lb+ man to do what he just did (prompting Louie to say he wants other people to get off the couch, too.) But Steve admits that both Louie and Katherine messed up their entries, so he gives Louie a 6.0. It&amp;#039;s all on David... David: David says he wants Louie to keep taking steps in the right direction, adding that he has &amp;quot;absolutely inspired&amp;quot; him. He thinks Louie and Katherine&amp;#039;s dives were pretty equal, but because Louie hit the water hard, he scores him 5.5. With an average score of 5.75, Louie&amp;#039;s going to have to leave the competition!  I&amp;#039;m glad for Katherine, but it is sad to see Louie go home. I&amp;#039;m perhaps not as sad as Katherine, who sobs into his neck and explains that she loves him and is upset to see him go. &amp;quot;You gotta carry on!&amp;quot; Louie tells her. Hell, even Greg is shedding a tear. It&amp;#039;s all getting very emotional poolside, but Louie vows that this is his &amp;quot;first step into a brand new life.&amp;quot; So with that, he&amp;#039;s off! But Splash isn&amp;#039;t - next week, everyone has to dive from the 33ft board. Genuinely - I&amp;#039;m kind of excited. Splash airs Tuesdays on ABC. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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