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" Cudst thou have imagined a Star Wars published in Shakespearean language? Eh, probably not. But in Ian Doescher&amp;#039;s William Shakespeare&amp;#039;s Star Wars, published this month, we see the Bard come alive amid droids, intergalactic wars, and of course the lightsaber. What may seem like an absurd nerdy mishmash oddly makes sense from the get-go: &amp;quot;Now is the summer of our happiness/Made winter by this sudden, fierce attack!&amp;quot; The pomp of the Elizabethan era matches the tone of the speeches given by Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Princess Leia quite nicely. Even R2-D2&amp;#039;s beeps fall into perfect iambic pentameter. The themes, too, are the same: the classic complicated familial relationships, war, evil, destiny, romance, and fate. Had George Lucas not penned it, there&amp;#039;s little reason Shakespeare couldn&amp;#039;t have (spaceships and galaxy empire aside). And Doescher&amp;#039;s book falls within the average length of a Shakespeare play, with The Comedy of Errors being the shortest at 1,777 lines and Hamlet the longest at 4,042. So go ahead and dig into the saga. Herewith, some choice scenes and soliloquies.  Uncle Owen Teaches Luke Skywalker to Be a Man Act 1, Scene 5: Lines 27-41 OWEN Again it falls to me, a simple man, To take a leading role in matters grave. For I must choose a droid today, &amp;#039;tis true, But also must I teach this lad, this Luke, To learn and grow, and to become a man. Although when I was young I too had dreams Of far-off stars and distant galaxies, I learn&amp;#039;d to work the land, to raise the crops. And thus shall I my trade pass on to him, Adopted son of mine and strangely dear. I had not ask&amp;#039;d for Fate to bring a son To me, for I had thought to have no heir. Yet do Beru and I feel for this child A measure of affection, and \u2014 as well \u2014 The burden of responsibility. Obi-Wan Dies in Most Jedi Way Possible Act 4, Scene 7: Lines 45-65 OBI-WAN A Jedi is not made of fear or hate, But must a noble countenance display. It is a lesson learn&amp;#039;d in times gone by That still I reach myself unto this day. Full many years I&amp;#039;ve spent with thoughts of this \u2014 This instant when Darth Vader I&amp;#039;d confront. But now my thirst for retribution&amp;#039;s cold, While sweet forgiveness doth my spirit taste. I know I cannot win this battle here, Nor would I wish to slay the kindly man Who surely still within this black shell lives. And so, unto this death I&amp;#039;ll go, this sleep, This sleep that promises the dream of peace. This undiscover&amp;#039;d galaxy wherein I&amp;#039;ll know at last tranquility of heart. But ere I die, I&amp;#039;ll one last lesson teach. I shall in this \u2014 my final moment \u2014 set A keen example for the universe, That future generations may yet know The valor and the strength of Jedi Knights. Put up thy lightsaber now, Obi-Wan, And show thyself a Jedi to this son. The Luke Skywalker Method of Saving a Woman (and R2-D2&amp;#039;s Beeps) Act 4, Scene 2: Lines 71-138 LUKE I prithee, what doth all this beeping mean? C3-PO Sir, I confess I do not know. He hath Declar&amp;#039;d that he hath found her, then the driod Repeats &amp;quot;She&amp;#039;s here, she&amp;#039;s here.&amp;quot; LUKE \u2014 But, marry, who? C3-PO Good Princess Leia. LUKE \u2014 Princess Leia \u2014 here? [aside:] Now doth this strange adventure stir my blood! HAN What sayst of &amp;quot;princess&amp;quot;? LUKE \u2014 Where, thou droid? Say where! HAN What princess? On thy life, this thing unveil. R2-D2 Beep, meep, meep, beep, squeak, whistle, beep, meep, hoo. C3-PO E&amp;#039;en now the princess is on Level 5, Detention block of AA-23. R2-D2 [aside:] O me! This new discovery of mine Doth shake my core, and shall arouse their souls. [to Han and Luke:] Meep, meep, ahh, beep, squeak, beep, meep, beep, ahh, nee. C3-PO I fear, good Sir, it doth give certain news The princess shall be terminated soon. LUKE Nay, nay! So quickly met and now, with this, So quickly lost! Now must we swiftly act! HAN What thou dost prattle on about? Pray tell! LUKE [aside:] O how can one describe in simple words The import this mysetr&amp;#039;ous woman hath Upon my life? [to Han:] The driods, these driods, are hers, She hath appear&amp;#039;d in message urgent, too! I see thou canst not understand it well, Yet what I know is this: we must give her Whate&amp;#039;er unflagging help and hope we may! HAN Speak not with such great folly. Obi-Wan Hath told us to remain. LUKE \u2014 Yet knew he not That she is here! [to C3-PO:] Pray tell me how we may Straight make our way to the detention block. HAN I say again what I have said before: To this location is my purpose fix&amp;#039;d And whether princess be within or no, I tell thee plain: I shall not thither go. LUKE She shall be executed! Thou hast said, Mere minutes past, that thou wouldst not remain To see our sudden, sure imprisonment. Now is thy fondest wish that we should stay? HAN To march to the detention&amp;#039;s block unwise! To make our way to danger folly &amp;#039;tis! To there present ourselves is passing mad! To boldly go where none hath gone is wild! LUKE Hast thou no heart? She sentenc&amp;#039;d is to die! HAN My sentence is: &amp;#039;tis better she than I. LUKE [aside:] How shall I break a heart that loveth not, And how convince a man who lives by wits? He hath not seen the urgency within Her eyes. He hath not known the trembling in Her voice. He hath not heard the manner of Her plea. And yet, without his help I fear My errand surely fails. What shall I do? I know that under his exterior More good and noble aspirations lie. But by what tricks of speech to bring them forth, And what persuasions shall his fix&amp;#039;d will move? My aunt Beru hath told me once a tale: She said when first the deep, vast Kessel mines Were dug, it was revealed that the pearls Of greatest value must by clever means Discover&amp;#039;d be. So did the miners band Together, so to make a useful tool. This tool would pull the pearls out of the rock In such a way they seem&amp;#039;d t&amp;#039;emerge by ruse. This practice had a name: the Hammer Ploy. Now shall I play a Hammer&amp;#039;s Ploy upon The soul of this good smuggler, coaxing him By means most indirect to rescue good. Thus may the pearl of his still ragged soul Revealed be and shine as ne&amp;#039;er before. -- Excerpted with permission from William Shakespeare&amp;#039;s Star Wars, Quirk Books, 2013. Follow The Culture Blog on RSS and on Twitter at @ESQCulture. 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