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" Parent to Parent Q&amp;amp;amp;A Q: Other moms are pressuring me to help out with PTA projects, but I work full time. How should I respond? A: If you&amp;#039;re in an office 40 hours a week or more, you may not be able to chair a big event. But remember: The at-home moms have work to do, too, so everyone&amp;#039;s giving up free time. Find out what tasks need to be done and take on one or two that you think you can handle. As long as you&amp;#039;re contributing, other parents will probably stop pushing you. Q: One of the dads wants to join our carpool, but I know he&amp;#039;s a careless driver. What do I say? A: Talk to the other parents about your concerns. Then tell the dad, &amp;quot;We&amp;#039;re glad you want to help, but we want you to know we&amp;#039;re sticklers for safe driving, buckling up and observing the speed limit.&amp;quot; If he doesn&amp;#039;t get the hint and you think he&amp;#039;s a risk, politely decline his offer. Q: I&amp;#039;m a stay-at-home mom, so I get stuck hosting all the kids after school. Is this fair? A: No. You need to be clear with the parents about what you can or want to do. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m glad to have your kids here on Monday and Tuesday afternoons, but we have things scheduled for the other days, so I won&amp;#039;t be able to keep an eye on them then.&amp;quot;  Problem: You&amp;#039;ve received a note saying that your daughter has been disruptive in class. But she&amp;#039;s so quiet at home that you find this hard to believe.   Solution: Schedule a meeting with the teacher. Ask for specific examples and keep an open mind. Your daughter may be testing some behaviors that she knows you won&amp;#039;t allow at home. Or the teacher may have different expectations than you do. If so, it&amp;#039;s important for you to respect the rules of the classroom. Discuss the outcome of the meeting with your daughter and let her know she&amp;#039;ll have to adjust her behavior. Problem: You want to transfer your child out of his current class because one of his fellow students is a troublemaker and may also be a bad influence.   Solution: Discuss your concerns with either the teacher or the principal. Be specific \u2014 &amp;quot;John has complained that it&amp;#039;s difficult to complete his assignments because of the constant interruptions.&amp;quot; If administrators are unable to accommodate a class switch, work with them to figure out how to keep the &amp;quot;problem child&amp;quot; from affecting your child&amp;#039;s education. Problem: You and your husband have divorced and want to schedule separate parent-teacher conferences.  Solution: Call or write the teacher a note, informing her of the separation and making your request. Beyond the issue of the conference, it&amp;#039;s important for the teacher to know about the home situation, in case she notices changes in your child&amp;#039;s behavior at school.  When presents are appropriate: At holiday time, during teacher-appreciation week (if your district has it) and at the end of the school year. Avoid birthdays -- which the teacher may not want everyone to know about \u2014 as well as the days before report cards come out, so your child won&amp;#039;t look like a grade grubber! How to give: Discreetly. Simply leave the gift on the teacher&amp;#039;s desk with a card. What to give: Something small, inexpensive and not too personal. Ask your child for suggestions; think desk accessories, homemade treats, stationery or a calendar or book. Volunteering for something classroom related is another great way to express thanks. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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