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"  I was always that girl who, if a man was like &amp;amp;#147;I don&amp;amp;#146;t want a relationship,&amp;amp;#148; I was the one who would be like, &amp;amp;#147;It&amp;amp;#146;s cool, call me.&amp;amp;#148; I wanted to be nice and not jaded by the guy being a jerk, and with [Juan Pablo] I was finally like, &amp;amp;#147;It&amp;amp;#146;s not cool.&amp;amp;#148; I don&amp;amp;#146;t know where it came from in me. [On the show] people see two minutes of a two hour conversation. Did I say all that stuff? Yeah. But in my perspective, saying how I feel and being honest, that&amp;amp;#146;s all I could do. The editing didn&amp;amp;#146;t portray me accurately, I feel. During the show I was never jealous or insecure around the other girls. I love all of them. We never had problems. Even Nikki and I got along most of the time. I wish they showed more of the real me instead of [cutaways] of me looking jealous. That&amp;amp;#146;s not how I came into this, and it&amp;amp;#146;s not who I am.  I&amp;amp;#146;d never watched [The Bachelor franchise] before. I don&amp;amp;#146;t watch much TV. What I had known about [Juan Pablo] going into it was that he was my age, a father of a daughter &amp;amp;#151; a good father and family oriented person, all qualities that I value.  I think [laughs] there were the parts of Juan Pablo that I fell for, but seeing how he was with the other women and how he talked to them and treated them &amp;amp;#151; and now, watching it all played back &amp;amp;#151; I don&amp;amp;#146;t think he&amp;amp;#146;s the man I thought he was. I had a different impression of him before, and even during this, but in retrospect, he&amp;amp;#146;s his own person. Is he someone I&amp;amp;#146;d choose as a partner? As a husband? No. We spent a lot of time together, it happened so long ago that it all blurs together. It&amp;amp;#146;s hard to say because when you&amp;amp;#146;re in a situation, and everything in the world is out of your comfort zone, everything you think about is him, all you focus on is him. It&amp;amp;#146;s so easy to be distracted by the hope you&amp;amp;#146;ve found the right person. I hadn&amp;amp;#146;t seen him with other women, or even thought about it. I definitely felt, at the end, like he was either an amazing man or he was SUCH a jerk. And I couldn&amp;amp;#146;t decide. After the talk we had on my last night in St. Lucia, I knew that I&amp;amp;#146;m not a person who gives up on somebody. Even if it means giving it 100 percent, I just know I put everything I can into it. What happened in Vietnam was that first little red flag of, &amp;amp;#147;Whoa, it&amp;amp;#146;s not as perfect as I was thinking it was.&amp;amp;#148; Because when we were in Vietnam and swimming [Ed. note: speculated hookup], there wasn&amp;amp;#146;t a second he gave any impression he was uncomfortable or didn&amp;amp;#146;t like it. So I was completely caught off guard. It&amp;amp;#146;s hard when you think you&amp;amp;#146;re on the same page and something knocks the wind out of your sails like that. It was very vindicating to see people hate him [now]. Because I know what kind of person I am what I brought to the table. But I don&amp;amp;#146;t think people really know who I am, so it just kicks me in the stomach, how it ended up. To be honest, I was embarrassed. How he talked to me, and how I allowed him to get away with him talking to me like that. I have nieces, and friends who have kids, and I was embarrassed [watching it]. Thinking, &amp;amp;#147;God, this is how the world sees me being portrayed, and being treated.&amp;amp;#148; At the very end, when the world finally saw the kind of man he is, and how he treated [us], it was, &amp;quot;OK, so I&amp;amp;#146;m not crazy for feeling the way I feel and feeling hurt by all this.&amp;quot; And it wasn&amp;amp;#146;t even a sense of bitterness or, like, pouting because I didn&amp;amp;#146;t get picked. I didn&amp;amp;#146;t feel the need to talk to him [during After The Rose Ceremony.] If it was any other man, I gladly would have congratulated or high-fived him. I&amp;amp;#146;m a person who totally believes in love. I love love. Any other man, I would have been OK with being up there with him. But the second I left St. Lucia, it was total closure at that moment. I don&amp;amp;#146;t have an opinion on Juan Pablo and Nikki. It has nothing to do with me. I just care about people&amp;amp;#146;s happiness. I just want people to be positive and be in love. If that&amp;amp;#146;s what they have, more power to them.  I&amp;amp;#146;m very happy now. I have definitely moved on, and the beauty of it all is I don&amp;amp;#146;t know what&amp;amp;#146;s next. I&amp;amp;#146;ve learned a lot and I went through a lot. I grew as a woman. I feel like after going through this, it can only get better.  RELATED: The 14 Douchiest Things Juan Pablo Has Done The 6 Saddest Quotes From Juan Pablo And Nikki&amp;#039;s First Post-Bachelor interview Let&amp;#039;s Just Replace Juan Pablo With A Sloth 10 Times Juan Pablo Said &amp;quot;Ees Okay&amp;quot; And It Wasn&amp;#039;t Okay Follow Anna on Twitter Photo Credit: ABC "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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