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"\n\n The Columbia Journalism Review pointed out recently that the media (that's us) has been flapping its wings for years trying to discover the \"Real Romney,\" a silly and repetitive and ultimately self-propagating mission that, at least to the CJR, is borderline pathological: we're not looking for examples of non-phoniness; we're looking for more evidence to support our earlier claim that he's a phony.\n\nWell, as a wise woman once wrote, goodbye to all that. We have found the Real Romney. He's in that video up there, talking excitedly about cars, praising the height of trees. The Real Romney is a dork. He's a spazz. Were he not also a wealthy, handsome scion of both political and religious power, he would have suffered tremendously for this in high school\u2014swirlies, etc\u2014but he has been shielded, we think, from the usual conditioning that we deliver upon our socially awkward youth: how to lie; how to be cool; how to fake it til you make it. He does not understand those things. He does not understand humor, or understatement. We submit that he might also not understand pretense, which is why his campaign has reeked of disingenuousness. He is not inauthentic; he is simply not good at lying, not in the way that we are used to seeing politicians lie. Mitt Romney likes cars, guys. He likes the height of trees in Michigan. And lakes: inland, Great, et cetera. But more than anything, he just wants us to like him.\n\nFriends, journalists: Mitt Romney is not an enigma. He's an accountant. He's your rich neighbor who doesn't drink or watch football or hang out and say funny things. And once this is all over, once he gets beat, once Obama and his crew stuff Mitt's head in the toilet and flush, everything will go back to the way we're used to it being; the natural order of things will be restored. The cool kid will win the popularity contest and the rich dorky kid will continue to make tens of millions of dollars more than everyone else. You cannot possibly watch that video and come to a different conclusion.\n\nRead more from Death Race 2012\n\n\"Everything's Coming Up Obama (Here's Why)\"\n\n\"The Thimble vs. The Iron: Walter Kirn on Why The Republican Primary Has Turned Into a Game of Monopoly\"\n\n\"The Truth About Young Republicans and Gay Marriage\"\n\n\"Megadeth for Santorum: A Political Reading of Their Lyrics\"\n\n\"What the GOP Can Learn From Jeremy Lin: Marc Ambinder's debut on Death Race 2012\"\n\n\"Newt's Day One Plan: Overturn Roe, Open Moon University, Try on Warren Harding's Old Breeches\"\n\n\"Introducing GQ's First Ever Presidential Playlist\""^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.gq.com/story/the-columbia-journalism-review-pointed>