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"OMG, Des! Look at you in your purple gown! So hopeful. So open to love. So in need of our snap judgments when it comes to whom you&amp;#x27;ll choose on The Bachelorette. What&amp;#x27;s that? The show&amp;#x27;s already over and you&amp;#x27;ve chosen, so our words mean nothing? Well, just to be sure, we&amp;#x27;re gonna go ahead and do it anyway. Let us have this. Now, usually we try to glean who contestants are purely from how they look in their portraits. (See: Sean Lowe&amp;#x27;s Bachelorettes, and Emily Maynard&amp;#x27;s Bachelors). This year, though, we have a little help. You see, producers made sure to ask the guys a bunch of questions that completely set them up to fail&amp;amp;#8212;you can read the bios in their entirety here. Questions like &amp;quot;What&amp;#x27;s your shoe size?&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;How long does it take you to get ready for a big night out?&amp;quot; You sick, sick producers. I love you for this. And I can&amp;#x27;t bear to waste your masterful work, so let&amp;#x27;s get to know the guys in their own words. And if piling on happens, piling on happens. BEN Ben on Ben: Ben calls his worst three attributes &amp;quot;Short attention span, sometimes a bad listener, bad at keeping in touch with friends.&amp;quot; (Wow, he sounds like a keeper.) Then he goes on to say that if he could live in any other time period, it would be, &amp;quot;Jesus&amp;#x27; timespan.&amp;quot; Me on Ben: Ben, that second one is such a nice answer. But based on your self-proclaimed worst attributes, I don&amp;#x27;t think that era is for you. Jesus&amp;#x27; sermons were long, and you were supposed to listen, so that you could tell people later what was said. Like the Disciples. Who would probably get really irritated with the lack of effort you put into your friendship with them, you know? Like they didn&amp;#x27;t have to expand the team to 13 for you, but they did. And now you never even call them back. BRAD Brad on Brad: When producers asked Brad, at the end of their questions, what he wished they would have asked, he responded: &amp;quot;I wish you would have asked me how I would approach a girl knowing 24 other men were trying to do the same thing. I think that&amp;#x27;s what makes the show so interesting because it&amp;#x27;s basically a fight for time and to be noticed. I don&amp;#x27;t have an answer for that.&amp;quot; Me on Brad: Cool, so you&amp;#x27;re into riddles. Even if it&amp;#x27;s just telling them to yourself. BRANDON Brandon on Brandon: Brandon&amp;#x27;s answer to the &amp;quot;three things on a desert island&amp;quot; question is probably the most clever one I&amp;#x27;ve ever heard&amp;amp;#8212;he says he would bring Bear Grylls. But that&amp;#x27;s not who he admires most in the world. He admires: &amp;quot;Grandpa. He fought in a war, traveled this country, always treated people with respect, and still found time to raise my brother and I when he didn&amp;#x27;t have to.&amp;quot; Me on Brandon: Please go out with me, Brandon. BRIAN Brian on Brian: Brian&amp;#x27;s answer to &amp;quot;what&amp;#x27;s your biggest date fear?&amp;quot; is, verbatim: &amp;quot;Massive incomputable.&amp;quot; Brian&amp;#x27;s &amp;quot;best date memory&amp;quot; is: &amp;quot;Bliss Happiness Feelings.&amp;quot; Me on Brian: Brian is drunk, which explains the color combo. BROOKS Brooks on Brooks: Brooks says his favorite music is &amp;quot;indie.&amp;quot; Me on Brooks: You don&amp;#x27;t say, Mr. Chambray! Seriously, I know I&amp;#x27;ve seen your outfit before. Page 16 of the spring J.Crew catalog? Women&amp;#x27;s section? I hope you sprung for the neon peep-toes as well. They really make everything pop. BRYDEN Bryden on Bryden: When asked what the romantic present he ever received was, Bryden wrote: &amp;quot;I am not sure.&amp;quot; When asked how he would approach a girl, he wrote something that began with &amp;quot;Walk up say that you&amp;quot; and then vigorously erased the rest. I&amp;#x27;m not kidding. Me on Bryden: You seem a little nervous, buddy. Can I safely assume that when the producers asked your name, you were gonna say &amp;quot;hi&amp;quot; and you were gonna say &amp;quot;Braden&amp;quot; and you ended up accidentally saying &amp;quot;Bryden&amp;quot;? CHRIS Chris on Chris: Chris&amp;#x27; favorite snack is almonds. Me on Chris: Like out of everything? In the world? I just can&amp;#x27;t go through life...with someone who can&amp;#x27;t dream bigger than almonds! "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/entertainment/blogs/obsessed/2013/05/snap-judging-bachelorette-desi>