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"  My husband and I have been married for almost two years. My mom has never really thought that he&amp;#039;s the right man for me, and she&amp;#039;ll make harsh or negative remarks to me about him. For example, she believes that I should have married a man who could take care of me financially (I currently earn more than my husband). I understand that she only wants the best for her daughter, but her remarks are straining my relationship with her. How can I handle this?J.W., 28, Pittsburgh  Tell your mother what you told me. The next time she makes a remark, say, &amp;quot;Mom, I know you only want the best for me, but I don&amp;#039;t like it when you make that kind of comment about Ed.&amp;quot; She&amp;#039;ll probably still say whatever it is she has to say, but your bottom line will always be, &amp;quot;Yes, you&amp;#039;re entitled to your opinion, but I don&amp;#039;t like it when you say those things.&amp;quot; Then she can decide whether or not to keep needling you.   That is, if she&amp;#039;s indeed needling you. You say she believes you should have married a man who could take care of you financially. A belief is not a rude remark. Unless she&amp;#039;s snarky about it, she&amp;#039;s entitled to this commonplace opinion. Could it be that your mom&amp;#039;s comments tweak you because you think she might have a point?   In any case, I would like to direct you toward a new book that might shed some light on your dilemma: Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents by Jane Isay. The author interviews grown-up children and their parents to discover how to cope with the intractable reality of the parent/child relationship, which rolls right on, regardless of age. (You&amp;#039;ll be pleased to know that Isay directs parents to keep their opinions and advice to themselves, and to learn to accept their adult kids&amp;#039; spouses.) Perhaps, after you&amp;#039;re done with it, you could pass it on to Mom.   Karen Karbo is the author of How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great. Shes also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner. Send your questions to her at: The Hard Stuff, REDBOOK, 300 W. 57th St., New York, NY 10019, or karenkarbo@redbookmag.com. Letters may be edited for clarity and length, and must include your initials, age, city, and state. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/advice/a3530/hs-mom-hates-husband/>