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"   Nothing invites bad advice like a first date \u2014 wear this, say that, and don&amp;#039;t under any circumstances say that \u2014 all with the aim of captivating a guy you&amp;#039;re not even sure you like ... yet.  Not only are those so-called rules the opposite of fun (and isn&amp;#039;t having fun the point here?), but they also can end up backfiring. Who wants to seem stiff or eager to please because you&amp;#039;re following some lame set of guidelines rather than just being yourself? Which \u2014 trust us \u2014 is always more appealing than any script.  &amp;quot;The best strategy for a great first date is to go into it with the goal of simply enjoying yourself, instead of harboring an agenda to win him over,&amp;quot; says Lionel Tiger, PhD, a Charles Darwin professor of anthropology at Rutgers University and author of The Decline of Males. &amp;quot;That way, you&amp;#039;ll also come across as tenacious and carefree, which are intrinsically attractive qualities.&amp;quot; Live in the Now If you and this guy clicked when you met, it&amp;#039;s tempting to leap into the future mentally \u2014 could he be The One? Stop right there and rein in your expectations or you won&amp;#039;t have fun.  &amp;quot;If you place too much importance on the encounter, you&amp;#039;ll spend the whole evening evaluating how it&amp;#039;s going and stressing about whether you&amp;#039;ll see him again,&amp;quot; explains Sheenah Hankin, PhD, a psychotherapist in New York and author of Complete Confidence. &amp;quot;This prevents you from fully experiencing what&amp;#039;s happening in the present.&amp;quot; That also means you&amp;#039;re not as engaged \u2014 or engaging \u2014 as you could be. Remind yourself that it&amp;#039;s only one evening, and then just relax and let go. &amp;quot;A first date is an experiment,&amp;quot; says Tiger. &amp;quot;Adopt the laissez-faire attitude that it might work out or it might not.&amp;quot; And, hey, even if the sparks ultimately aren&amp;#039;t there, the night&amp;#039;s not a wash. You&amp;#039;ll probably come away with new insight or an interesting story to add to your repertoire.  Be Disarmingly Honest It goes without saying (doesn&amp;#039;t it?) that this does not mean telling him about the weird conversation you had with your ex last week or divulging that you&amp;#039;re PMSing. But if you talk to a guy with the same unguarded ease you have when chatting with a pal, you&amp;#039;ll loosen up and things will flow better. &amp;quot;It ensures the date won&amp;#039;t seem like a job interview,&amp;quot; adds Hankin. So recount a funny moment that happened at work earlier in the day or describe a crazy experience that a friend of yours recently went through with an ex-boyfriend. We naturally trust and feel closer to people who are open, according to Hankin. She suggests trying a technique called negative revelation: Research has shown that disclosing a minor weakness of yours (that you have a fear of heights, for example) makes others like you and feel comfortable around you because they see you as more human. You could even admit, lightly, to getting a little nervous on first dates. Putting it out there helps him identify with you, diminishes any awkwardness, and \u2014 strangely enough \u2014 makes you seem more confident because you&amp;#039;re not afraid to cop to it. Go a Little Wild Flaunt your fearless personality \u2014 think singing along to your favorite song while in the car with him or suggesting that you sneak into the VIP area if you&amp;#039;re out at a bar.  &amp;quot;Being outrageous shows you have passion and character,&amp;quot; explains Hankin. &amp;quot;And the fact that it&amp;#039;s an unexpected way to behave on a first date drives up the neurotransmitter dopamine in his brain and yours, making you both feel happy and energized.&amp;quot; Fun, excitement, a little rule breaking \u2014 now that sounds like a recipe for a rockin&amp;#039; first date.  Try This Trick to Connect Instantly \u2014 with Anyone It&amp;#039;s the most intuitive thing in the world: a subliminal body-language move called mirroring, in which you subtly copy a person&amp;#039;s stance and gestures. &amp;quot;Echoing someone fires up the cells in his or her brain that are involved in feelings of empathy,&amp;quot; says Marco Iacoboni, MD, PhD, author of Mirroring People. &amp;quot;These neurons signal that the two of you are in sync.&amp;quot; It works whether you&amp;#039;re impressing a new boss or charming a dinner companion.  Do this on a date: Mirroring is most effective when it happens unconsciously, so get absorbed in the conversation. You&amp;#039;ll probably begin naturally aping his movements, like leaning toward him when he leans in. Tip: Notice whether he is mimicking you too; if so, it&amp;#039;s likely he&amp;#039;s into you.  When imitating someone, don&amp;#039;t be too exact or it can appear contrived \u2014 e.g., if a guy picks up his wineglass, wait a beat and then lift your glass with the opposite hand. Mirror neurons respond to sounds as well, so experiment with matching your cadence and tone to his. For example, if he speaks faster than you do, accelerate your tempo a bit.  6 Foods Not to Order the First Time You Go Out 1. A messy plate of spaghetti with tomato sauce 2. Escargots with butter and garlic 3. Deep-fried anything 4. A salad with low-fat dressing on the side 5. Three-bean chili 6. Barbecued chicken wings "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a2758/first-date-advice/>