Paper Monitor: Cashewing in on Brazil
The Currant Bun is cashewing in on the beautiful game.
Paper Monitor is confused.
The Sun has given almost two news pages to tonight's crunch game at Wembley.
It loves a jingoistic stunt. "Up Yours Delors" and the "Nous ne voulons pas la GUERRE mais la France a tort" headline over British beef, are two that spring to mind.
Today's is rather different though.
"Rub Our Lucky Nuts (and help England get to Brazil)" implores the headline.
Sounds intriguing, must be an ingenious series of nut gags that will carry England all the way to the World Cup Finals in Brazil.
But the Sun's "cracking plan" is this: a big picture of two Brazil nuts over a Brazilian flag. "Just close your eyes and rub your fingers over our lucky Brazil nuts as the national anthem rings around Wembley tonight."
Erm, okay. And…is there a double entendre in there, another metaphor, or what?
Skim the article and the only other mention of nuts comes in the last sentence: "By the time the final whistle goes, let's hope Roy's nutty boys will have it cracked once and for all."
Right. England's players better be more up for it tonight than the Sun's strangely off-form pun masters.