Paper Monitor: A compliment, of sorts
As compliments go it is a mixed success.
Dame Helen Mirren and Selina Scott were out at the Olivier Awards last night and the Daily Mail notes that they "dazzled on the red carpet".
But Paper Monitor has heard that it's not polite to comment on a woman's age and suspects that adding them up isn't much better.
"They have a combined age of 128," the paper informs us.
It notes that they outshone women "half their age", but declines to explain whether they mean 64 or 32.
But what were they wearing that caused such excitement?
For Dame Helen, it was a midnight blue gown that "would have been a brave choice" for most women in the fifth decade, let alone their seventh. That's SEVENTH.
Still, having picked up the best actress award for portraying the Queen in The Audience, she will no doubt be pleased to read that she was looking youthful.
"Dame Helen has never admitted to plastic surgery, but there was speculation she had gone under the knife last September when she was spotted with a scarf around her head to cover bandages," it says.
What might Miss Scott, who was wearing a "black dress with sheer panelling", make of all this?
"Miss Scott has previously said that women should age 'naturally'", the paper tells us.
For readers wondering where all this leaves them, another story points to a makeover they may wish to consider.
Under the headline "New salon craze: A Maggie tribute hairdo," the Daily Mail covers the very novel legacy that Baroness Thatcher has left.
One Chelsea hairdresser reports that he has been "inundated" by requests for "The Thatcher", it says.
With the application of heated rollers and a little back-combing it's a look that can be achieved by anyone with shoulder-length hair.
Sadly, Paper Monitor fears that it does not have the necessary tresses.